Come As You Are | Charlie Mackesy

if if any of you have not been here before then I hope you're right and yeah I just keep thinking if I always here for the first time I'd have left I'm gonna ramble on eat my heart always sinks when there's a sermon but I'll be quick um I hope your Christmas is good mine was weird that we were flooded and I won't see my mum but my best bit of Christmas I hope you are too because my best bit was getting a card through the letterbox was under stamped and it said dear chart I did say dear Joey doesn't know her name it just said this is a card to say happy Christmas and thank you for smiling at me when we pass it makes my day a lot easier from your elderly neighbor an old lady I don't know how she is but wandering around Brixton in my area now I just was smile at every old lady in case it's her so yesterday I was driving around the corner and Hilux gone and I saw this old lady to joke pastor I just reversed look I said hi she was terrified and now I'm not telling you this story to say I'm a nice person I'm actually a stroppy get a lot of the time I'm telling it to you genuinely I'm telling it to you because when I read it and reread it and it sits by my bedside table it reminds me that the tiniest tiniest things can change a human's life tiny things I can't remember smiling another along with that goes the idea notion that we have fragile creatures I mean we do a good show I'm trying to be all cool yeah actually underneath it you know tip of the iceberg is this and this very wobbly underneath I think human beings alike and I think that um you know London London particularly is a tough distance and the reason why I'm saying this is because I think the Christian mantra whatever it is the Christian matter to me never spoke to the fragility of existence I don't know how you feel about Christianity all it said to me was stubborn in various guises various forms often given up by men and dresses but generally the statement was stop it you filthy person and if you emphasize that and really what human beings need I think is a hug like it doesn't doesn't help my old lady friend who sent me the card to think that she was doing wrong it would help it if she felt she was loved the Christian statement did nothing to give her any sense of love just a sense of guilt and sin and shame and which the reason what I was so hotly against Christianity if you feel that kind of I get it I was the worst in terms of my attack on theism but particularly Christianity and I think generally in a people in life we're just trying to get through you just get through you pay bills he watch you tele dead uh and Christianity or religion is just another burden to make you feel guilty so you don't involve yourself in it it's just weird and I was sitting next to it and I know I dinner with an old man and he it was a dinner thing a black-tie thing and he was having sipping his glass he looked at me he said Christianity it's like it's like wine and cheese I thought um no and he said cheesy music whiny people yeah suppose and so we chatted about it for quite a while and then and then you know I would have said if I'd met him a lot you know when I was you know in my teens I'd have agreed with him completely I'm a thing that might Mike atheism I was have been a theist for a long time well the things that questions has always troubled me I don't you have this question the question that is always inside of me it's why like at school I was a pain because we be told about things and you know in chemistry if you mix this in this it goes blue and I said why why and it started when I was 12 and I was full up a farm with lots of sheep and people like that CP people and it was pouring with rain it was in Northumberland there was this big steel iron bridge that goes over the River Tyne and it was one of those damned wards where you just you you have to get shelter somewhere I went under the bridge with Simon Armstrong who was my friend man that works on the farm together and we were listening to the rain beating against the steel I am and do you ever have those moments where you're staring so long at something you stop your mind drifts and I was staring at these rivets and I started wondering quietly who'd put the rivets in and why and I said to Simon Simon why do you think he put can you imagine who did that and he said what the rivets what you mean like a hundred years ago the guy who did those all right what about it why do you think he did I said well to keep the rid the bridge up I guess but beyond that why did he do it it's his job get paid why did you get paid food okay so so we're alive because we have to eat therefore we just arrived to survive is that right is that why we're here just to survive so well no you probably to have kids oh so just to pass on our genes were alive to pass on our genes then we die is that it and I wasn't trying to be a pain I was really coming to concern with this question because I wanted purpose and just you know I said what about mrs. Johnson in number 14 she hasn't got kids that if she obsolete therefore if she have no value mrs. Johnson great woman no kids not married and then it's long cut ice it would be any said well maybe he did it because he wants to be loved mrs. Johnson again what happens if he isn't loved well she needs to get out more which doesn't go out is that it so all we're doing really is trying to find someone trying to get love trying to procreate just get the jeans on and then he just disappear and that's it is that really it why why come on and there was no answer and I became this proverbial pain of the earth making people answer that question and I was never given one science told me how never why school never told me why and my atheism sort of basically answered the question why by saying there's no reason except for your genes so therefore if you don't pass someone you've kind of failed no pressure there is though weirdly I don't know if you've ever experienced friend -19 was killed in his car we broke very close I was brought up with him and the answer to why delay really um it's you know Holly or the start of it and I was looking into the the the caution or the hole where he was and my brain went through all our times together one of my favorite songs that always been David Bowie's ground control to Major Tom you know Space Oddity was and the line we still love in the cart of you know this but David Bowie who David Bowie as he destroyed a phenomenon he if the line was this about major tongue it was hardly to the song Rita says check ignition check ignition and what may God's love be with you and we used to scream it as atheists may God's love be with you because it felt really good you know Major Tom you listen to the song you haven't heard it then shame on you but he's off into space on his own check ignition Major Tom and may God's love be with you and I thought wow that's gorgeous it's not religion it's just like you know alone oh you made your tongue and so I was looking in his grave and I was thinking about this and the next day I was I came to London didn't really know London I was on a tube and I was actually standing on the platform the tomb that she pulled in and it was the wrong one and on the other side of the platform a huge poster it just said cast your burdens onto Jesus because he loves you the Bible Society I hated the Bible cast your burdens and I was fragile like harp aching and any sympathy when Jeremy died you if you if your soul mate is killed he is no one can say anything really you try it they go oh and then my mate you're right oh sorry about that cast your burdens on to Jesus because he loves you and I read it over and over and over again I thought I'm not gonna get religious I can't get religious but there's a high body meaning is there any meaning there and there's a present tense because he loves that means does he exist is there some sort of living entity that loves you so I question it question it dug and dug and dug I didn't go to church the hate of religion particularly idea of the institution I thought it was like a big bully but I discovered this the more you dig the more you find that the answer to the reason why lies in him it's a weird statement I can't believe I'm saying it but the reason why we exist beyond the rivets beyond money beyond color beyond creed beyond money beyond failure beyond exams pass beyond whether you have kids or do you don't have kids before they get married all the aspirations are beyond all of that that leaves it all in the ground it's a notion that you are loved unconditionally permanently eternally forever as you are and you are free to not have kids free to fail free to be you free to be just what you are without thinking will this rivets putting this will I get what I'm supposed to get will I achieve because that's like a flipping whip on your back this is no you'd have to read you only think you love to see oh and I get speaking to Vicki say is this shoe issue well yes I suppose so what do you mean I suppose so is it true it's if it isn't then Bennett first is the most dangerous statement ever made if it is true it's the greatest thing ever in that's my viewing and David Bowie so I I don't know whether you kind of do draw but my instant reaction to this discovery was to be like Forrest Gump with a pencil and start drawing obsessively and I drew for year i sat on the pavement and drew and David Bowie in the recent of victory he read this of him he said looking at what I've done in my life in retrospect so much of what I thought was adventurism with searching for my tenuous connection with God his adventurism a more adventurous but deep down buried looking for and I remember thinking David bowing how wild he was and it how adventurous we are but really underneath maybe that's what we're doing am i drawing was that when I wandered into church one hot day didn't we want to go to church but I was interested in it because of this person Jesus I met Nicky Gumbel be humble is accurate or vicodin in Reverse he's now bigger he had an afro like Jimi Hendrix and he was the most enthusiastic person I've ever met I kind of always scruffy covered in paint and he went hi and he said and we Charlie said to alpha come to alpha Java it's cute you've got 20 people 20 people huge I said okay so I did I don't if you've heard of alpha it's a it's a thing which I am mildly obsessed with I've done it too many times since then and but it's a sort of thing where you just chat and eat and hear about this faith and work it out and it's it's good and I would say after all these years the you know being embraced into this community which this is you know from a sort of tube train its poster one around thinking it is the most beautifully if you are if you want a good community if I could find this old lady that wrote me this Christmas card and if I do find her and I reckon Fuji is I'm gonna bring her here because she needs a hug like humans need hugs she doesn't you slap or be told that she's sinful or some boring song that she has to sing you know is seeing anything nice as they are just belong because you looked beyond the rivets beyond anything and come and join it and and that's my discovery you know and I'm a huge Senate genuinely but I think having said all this that life is almost really what I would call it a catastrophe sorry to be negative but it's catastrophic if you hadn't had if you haven't had catastrophe yet you will it's being human and if you want if you are having a struggle actually David Bowie's wife a man wrote this the last tweet she wrote for his death she said this the struggle is real but so is God it's beautiful thing and Anne Lamott who's a great super bright writer wrote a book called help thanks Wow which is not a good title but it's a great book and in it she wrote this of how hard life can be human lives are hard even those of health and privilege and don't make much sense this is the message of the book of Job that's in the Old Testament any snappy explanation of suffering you come up with will be horse manure paraphrase God tells job who wants an explanation for his troubles you wouldn't understand and we don't understand a lot of things that we that people are very disappointing that they break our hearts and that we very sweet people will be bullied that we will be called to survive unsurvivable losses and that we will realize with enormous pain how much of our lives we've already wasted with obsessive work or pleasing people or dieting we will see and read about deprivation and barbarity beyond our ability to understand much less process side by side with all that we would witness transformation people finding out who they were born to be before their parents pretzel eyes them into high achievers and addicts and charming wired robots but where do we even start on the daily work of restoration and awakening we start where we are we find God in our human lives and that includes the suffering I get thirsty people glasses of water even if that thirsty person is just me I love that I don't whether you relate that I love that it's beautiful thing in glasses of water and and they come in various forms spiritually glass of water but on my gate can we have a picture of my gate there husband where the dogs on it's really Kosta lookin gate he's black how they already had the nerve to even put something through it I don't know but she did someone rang it the other day and I answered it and and the voice behind the door said is it safe I said what do you mean to say can I come in I said yeah alright you can come in it's safe can we have a picture of the other side of the gate do we have that just a tiny woman with her no anyway but it's tiny dog he looks around he's he's very fine anyway it's another story so the guy came into the garden and he walked about ten paces down at this looking around looking around cuz it's all very overgrown and then he just stopped and he reversed very slowly and turned and looked this it's a large bronze huge bronze of the prodigal son covered in brambles and it's an embrace so he's walking abreast and he walks back it's very big it's like much big higher than your eye and he just used the f-word about three five pray and sit there and he said what is that and I said oh that's a bronze so now it's a bronze but when the father hugs our son in the story of the prodigal son he said all we did they'd be do that NRI I didn't it was about hugging I said yeah is that who he said what you mean if I can how its described I think you know the story and maybe you don't know the story but it's about a father has its two sons one of them just you know does what we all do and just says you know I'm out of here and leaves I don't like you or I want to be my own boss and and eventually but the whole notion is that Jesus tells it and it's about really the nature of God it's not really about the Sun and as we're staring it he said he was going ffff and he goes the thing is joy thing is to thing is look at those brambles that's my life he said I get caught up in all this crap I'm always caught up in crap and I said yeah but you're loved he said in spite of that yet in spite of that so that's our condition our condition as we get caught up in crap to be human it's be messy but the thing is can you grasp the reality that Jesus tells a story about love the love of Father for someone who was caught up in so much crap it's so much pig dung he didn't know what to do with it essentially which represents being lost but in that lostness he finds a little way and they meet together and he hugs him and we you know it was actually quite a moving situation he said to me he was staring it he said you know what and he looked back at my gate he says your house doesn't really look great from the outside it kind of looks very scary then you when you get in it's kind of the reverse and we were chatting about and I said yeah I suppose you know it's pretty much sums up Christianity doesn't it actually looks like a shot well you're this feel that you do that od well no no no actually it's this because no one is good you make you may be on the outside you may Siegel this a sea of smiley people singing songs and no one it was good there's only one reason why anyone has access to God freely and that's called the grace of God and that's that whatever you are whoever you're whatever you do whatever you're doing whatever you're thinking right now how you want to I don't know just just remember this one truth that you're loved beyond or beyond the rivets before beyond everything and even you're known and always will be known and you're free and that's the essence of the Christian faith and he then this guy said another thing he looked at he said wasn't there another brother and I said yeah he said where's even was the old judgmental I said yeah well maybe he's in the bushes staring so again laughed about that and he said no he's not in the bushes that's your gate your gate is the older brother your gates the one who goes yeah the way you can't come in sorry if you've experienced that from a Christian perspective I'm really sorry really sorry nothing to do with it is an absolute embrace for the human race my kitchen is equally disgusting indifferent maybe it's covered in stuff and he came in there and he and it's my sty and Marmite pots in my kitchen I mean they do it's really health hazard you if you found it really funny and he says blimey look all this you've got paintings of angels but you've got crap everywhere and I said yeah but that's isn't that the human condition divinity mixed with the human mess this is it this is the fantastic sort of meeting point for why we're alive and he said yeah alright alright Conda and and and and what happens in my kitchen if you're coming again from the outside looking you think this is Church this isn't really Church it's a bit of a sing-song with a weird-looking guy giving you a monologue that's not Church this is just a weird thing Church is when you meet and you take you have tea and mates come and they say car this is a nightmare and we pray about it we share each other's lives that's Church and the corner of my kitchen is a sink that that's my unwashen up beyond it is too little bronzers one is the prodigal being held and the other one just to the right is the head of Jesus being crucified as the head is the head of thorns and the reason I keep them there near the washing up and my mates come we talk about stuff it's because we remember it essentially that the process is this you're loved he died for you and then the tap represents you're being washed you're clean and you're free you're forgiven that's grace no religion can earn this no good deed can earn this no rivet can earn this no nothing can earn this as a gift period end of story done freedom that's it and it's the greatest gift I think to mankind it's just so we easily miss it because people get caught up in religion and morality and things and no one is good you're loved I'll shut up in a second and the last story I'll tell you is about a friend of mine who is a prison not prison he's a hospital chaplain and he goes round you know chatting to people who are who are in hospital beds and there was one guy who was in for a long time and he said every time he walked past the bed the guy would be in bed and he just did that because he went first every time all the time so he go in then he got used to it he just got used to that so every time you didn't buddy just smile expect that and then one particular day walked past and there was know that he was lying there and as he was walking past he said oh my friend look to him said yes and he said can I ever would say sure he said I'm not being rude and everything but you know and I would just love to chat to you about what you know why you wear that white thing what you believe he said sure you know come on the tummy so he told him told him like Jesus he's talking about grace about forgiveness about the love of God about the relationship we can have with him all the basic things and that you can pray to Him and he said well how did you pray them he said well it's pretty simple actually he said well how did you pray then he said well and he got off his chair and said okay that's your bed there you are there's a chair now you just imagine that Jesus is sitting in this chair and he's he's just loving you permanently he knows you and you can talk to him so you can just say what you like he said so what would you say and he said up probably so that I'm pretty scared you can tell very fragile man and they thought what else would he say and that I've effed up my life and I'm sorry great that's honest well so do you say tonight well you can be in silence but just remember he's there just keep talking keep talking you can listen if you like but just keep talking remember that you're loved remember he died you remember the or free basic stuff I said thanks I can see why your abacus sounds good and then he had my Trident got up and left he was there a few days later were past the bed empty spokes the nurses where is even if you moved him to another ward now I'm afraid the nurse stuff and I said no he died actually two days after you were last year anyway okay and he said that's a shame and she said yeah but you know when you left the last time he was all really he was kind of bouncy in bed and kept telling us what you told him about the chair and this Jesus thing and he said oh that's good and she said yeah it's like really overwhelming me to have pleased about it all and he said good and then he got a bit sort of you know so he started walking off and this chart the softness oh by the way one other thing before you go you should probably know and it's a bit strange to tell you this but I tell you anyway that when we found him in the morning after he died he was found leaning out of his bed his hips were on the bed and his chest was on that he'd pulled the chair with his chests on the chair and his arms wrapped around the back of the chair and he died like that and of course my friend just started weeping because because he he'd realized that this guy he'd understood the whole thing he got it completely in a nutshell thing we struggle with all that ives he'd understood day he was looked the reason why he exists is because was to love and be loved and that he could rest his whole weight in his fragility on this jesus because you can put your burden on him and he was a thingy because he loves you thank you I will stop

Channel: HTB Church

Views: 95,258

Rating: 4.9133921 out of 5

Keywords: charlie mackesy, come as you are, sunday talk, religion, god, church, holy spirit, jesus, christ, jesus christ, htb church, htb, holy trinity brompton, london, htb church london, htb london

Id: IgsrzOrE6W8

Length: 24min 40sec (1480 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 20 2016