#CoffeeWithBDM Episode 18 What Men Wish the Women knew | Sept 11 2020

[Music] you [Music] good evening ladies and gentlemen thank you very much for joining us here on coffee with bdm last week we had a great time we did discuss on matters what do you do when love fails well thank you very much for joining and even before we start with bishop david moradi i humbly ask you to share this on your old starter watch party invite everybody tell them today is a bumper topic well human beings are relational but today let's deal with something about men what men wish women would know bishop david modi thank you again for joining us today many people are excited about this show and today is one topic that is very dicey very controversial but it's something that we cannot hide our head what men wish women would know i mean sometimes i hear this statement from men i mean i wish they would understand me i wish these women knew you know they don't understand us men and also women say that of course in relation to men and at some point we will deal with that we're not forgetting the women but for today what are some of the things men wish that women who do and many women are watching and they're wondering how comes men are cold relationships break what are some of those things they need to know well thank you for asking me to come i really appreciate and it's such a joy always to be on bdm coffee with bdm is one of my favorite programs and this is a very hot topic and as you said i think maybe next week we should reverse it and talk to the the men yes and uh what what women wish men would know the men would know but let's deal with as you said uh what men wish the women who don't know and i think the classic example here is the example of uh samsung i think if samsung was to speak he would really talk to women as anointed as he was from birth his bath was annoying was announced by an angel like very very few in fact his bath was announced by an angel like the same way jesus bath was announced uh a nazarite from birth his ear was never cut was never touched alcohol and uh separated for the work of god and yet you find him falling in love with delilah uh a woman that he wasn't even supposed to fall in love with but he ended up falling in love with her until his death and i think if there's anything that uh samsung can tell the women he can tell women a lot concerning delilah i know there are very negative summaries that have been preached about delilah yes sir how bad she was and how she's a type of satan not of you but at the end of the day she won the heart of samson at the end of the day there were some positive things that she did that samson could not do with it without you know so just from the story of samson you will learn a lot i think the first thing you want to learn about uh delilah and her positivity in terms of winning the heart of a man is that if you read the bible carefully you'll find that delilah never spoke at samsung delilah spoke to something there's a big difference wow she never spoke at some point never spoke at samsung what is the difference bishop the the difference is when you speak art you're shouting you're commandeering you're authoritative you're like sitting on the man and telling off the man but when you look at the story the bible says that she spoke to something she was kind she was nice she was inviting women need to understand that that you don't speak at a man but you speak to a man what does it make a man feel when a woman shouts puts off a man big time it puts up a man big time you don't shout at a man a man is a man irregardless to the size of the man can be as short as a hammer but still he's a man and needs to be respected needs to be honored so the story of samson and delilah you'll find that i mean the bible goes even the movie about samson and delilah you find how delilah used to speak to something calling samsung samsung samsung you're back home samsung found peace in delilah's house the bible even says that it went even this is the bible i'm quoting actually samson would lay his lap on delilah's his head rather samson would lay his head on delilah's lap after he was comfortable after a long day the only place where samson would go and find rests and solace was in the lap of delilah this woman that people talk about how i wish our women could just know some things from delilah so that they stop crying about their men running around and not coming home i know so many men who can't even go home early and even if they happen to be home they have to take another lap so time can go and go home and the woman has gone to sleep because the woman will start shouting and making life difficult for the man the man has no peace the man has no rest in his own house he is like a hunted buffalo and so even if he drives home and it gets home early he has to take some laps to get dark for him to get home i know several were like that why because they are they've not learned from delilah whoa um i know you guys are taking a breather if you're a lady please let all the ladies come in and gentlemen i'm sure you're connecting with what bishop david murray is saying and just type tell us some of those things that you think you're going through some of these things you wish your women would know or even women at the workplace peace is important for man amazing uh but a lady is here saying maybe saying but bishop yes i understand but some of these men come late and uh they don't deserve that peace well they why where are they coming late they're avoiding you that's the reason why they come late that's they don't want to accompany check out your check out what's happening in that relationship you see the problem with a lot of women they they get to a place where they assume we know this is another thing that every woman should know please speak your mind and speak it nicely and politely and respectfully because we we don't know as you think we know we don't know as you think we know you understand me so you don't leave us guessing as to what you want we want to know exactly what you want so that we can meet you where you are but a lot of women leave the men guessing as to their wants and their expectations so we don't know that's the problem with men we don't know so many things oh my god we don't know even when it comes to gifts we don't know what to give you so once in a while be giving us hints of what you would like because men men are poor with so many things we are so poor oh god when it comes to birthdays we don't even know what to buy are we going to buy chocolates are we going to buy flowers are we what are we going are we going to buy shoes are we going to buy handbags we don't know we just don't know that's man man a man is a different animal i don't advise every woman to read the book you know that men are from mars and women are from venus because you're completely wired so differently so differently we are just different animals our timing is not your timing we we don't our timing we off we operate on the same 24 hour clock but let me tell you we are different for instance we will not respond to text immediately like you would so i will take longer as a man to respond to a text message but that doesn't mean i don't care it's only that my time goes faster yours goes slower as a man these are things you need to understand so if a man doesn't respond quickly or doesn't pick your call for one reason or another that should not be a subject of fighting our we don't operate on the same time wavelength in fact it's funny that you say that because um one time there was something on youtube uh this gentleman was saying that if he delays to reply to an sms five minutes later is who are you with why will you not answer my phone call take a video i need to know you're alone what you don't operate on the same time what does that do to a man what is that the moment you trust you start uh doing those kind of things basically you're introducing ideas to me that i didn't even have in the first year yes yes don't introduce ideas which i didn't have in the first place you know don't start introducing the idea i should be with somebody and i'm not with somebody because when you start saying or who are you with you're trying to tell me i should be with somebody right and i didn't have somebody involved just understand that you don't operate on the same wavelength i you may text me it may take longer i may be doing something i may be thinking something i may be working with something i may be with somebody you know it does not necessarily have to be a woman you know it may not necessarily be evil what i'm doing so we operate on a different wavelength as far as time is concerned so the women have to understand that because if you don't understand that i have to reply immediately you say i'm not a woman i'm a man i'm a man number differently i think differently and i can see your texts and say i'll i'll reply that later i can deal with this later because at the moment i'm dealing with this and sometimes oh god can i talk like that you see the problem is sometimes even we are quiet when you speak to a man in the house or even text them sometimes they will not reply immediately because they don't know what to say wow they don't know what to say what should a woman do in that social situation because there's some will say now you're quiet are you missing somebody now if listen most of the time you may be asking me something and i don't know what to say next and i don't want to say the wrong thing i don't want to say the wrong thing so you'll find even in the house you may be talking to a man and the man is quiet it does not mean the man it doesn't care it doesn't mean that the man doesn't love you it's only that sometimes you're quiet because you don't know what to say so if you don't know what to say it's even wise to keep quiet because you may understand the wrong thing you may end up saying the wrong thing wow bishop there's something many men and i mean many forums for men we've done the men's conference there's something that likes or disappoints men and would like you to delve into this situation most men say i feel very exposed when my wife my fiance my girlfriend starts talking to people about our issues we wish most men wish women knew that we love our privacy because a man's honor must be protected let me speak to one and sundry of all women there is nothing a man dislikes like his secrets or his home issues being discussed out there i don't understand how unwise a woman can be and i i you see men men will take their woman or girlfriend or wife to be their confidant now if you're my confidant and i tell you issues to do with me i expect those things to remain with you absolutely and the moment you lick them out there all right you have lost my trust and the moment you lose my trust as a man you have lost it you'll never gain it trust is like virginity once you lose it you don't get it back again yes oh is that a heavy word to say but it's uh very well explained you can't get it back so women have to understand that you're my confident i'm though i trust you i believe in you that's why i'm with you i'm sharing my heart with you just like samson and delilah samson actually went to the place of taking the land as a confidant but then this this negative side what actually turned this relationship which was very good initially was that she went and sold out something to the enemies not even knowing she was selling out she's with anybody and sometimes i want to say women are stupid not all of them of course i'm just using this you know some women are very stupid i know stupid is not a religious word to use but it makes sense because you're going to share with a girlfriend who you're not going to be a girlfriend with the next two years and then everything you said will go out now that's what we understand you have to understand what i'm sharing with this lady am i going to be friends with this lady in the next five years even five months am i going to be this friend of friends and i'm sharing everything about my boyfriend or my husband with this friend who and and women don't keep friends they don't their friendships are so fecal wow their friendships are so fecal next minute she'll be they're breaking they're talking bad about each other they fell out and you shared everything with this other person everything of yours will be now transported to other people exposing so you have to understand yourself and know that even this friendship i'm having with this person maybe in the next two years we will be friends and i've said everything about me and my man well ladies i think you can sense how passionate bishop is with this topic and as we said next week we'll be dealing with what women wish men need so that's why i use the strong words yes some women can be very stupid and i can tell you as a man who i've lived for some years now you know and i can tell you that i may not be that old but i'm all that young yes and i can tell you that women make the biggest blunder there is nothing as fecal as human friendships ladies i think when i ask bishop the question he says there is nothing a man dislikes like a woman exposing his issues out there and i think the wisdom here is ask yourself one question be friends when a mind finds out well you've lost the trust bishop there's something also men say and i've done my research very well is that how comes their wife's friends or girlfriend's friends try and get with them could it be because some of these ladies are sharing some things and showing the man's vulnerability and these other women know how to come to the man because many men say oh my wife's friends some of them are trying to get with me why is that as i said i can tell you for free that uh if you want to be a happy woman be careful of your women friends women are not are not generally speaking not all of them okay i'm not stereotyping and painting every woman with the same brush but generally speaking uh women are their worst enemies women are their worst enemies they're the ones who try and get with women are their worst enemies uh the same same girlfriends and you have that you keep on bringing to your husband and to your boyfriend are the same same girls who are going to come around and snatch your husband or your boyfriend away from you because at the end of the day they don't really have much to lose by losing you but they have everything to gain if they gain you a man wow yes whoa um the coffee is getting very hot here i need to give you time to just cool off a little bit i will be back after the break here with the coffee with bdm if you've just joined us the topic is what men wish women knew so please share this on your wall tell everybody to come because the place is getting so hot bishop is absolutely very passionate about this but by the way next week we will be dealing with the topic things women wish things women feel men would know or things men would know yes no no did i get it right yeah okay fantastic yeah so i'm in the coffee sort i'm even getting confused see you after the break here with coffee with bdm please don't go too far get your coffee come in some of you need to get cold water but start a watch party invite your friends because the tail end of the show is even going to be fire upon fire as we take the message home thank you very much see you in a few [Music] and there is no way you can have a relationship with god and he does not correct you just like a parent with a child a loving parent will always correct the child so the child can be what they're supposed to be and of course when the correction is being done you will not love it i still remember when i was being punished by my two my parents i didn't like it the bible says when you're being corrected at the time you don't like you don't appreciate it but later on you'll appreciate it later on you will thank god for your parents for the correction they gave you but when you're going through that correction you will not like it but later on when you grow up the reason you turned out the way you are today is because of that correction that you didn't like when you were a child am i talking to somebody this morning i did not been for the correction maybe i got through my parents maybe i would be on krachner right now i would be on cocaine or something had it not been for the the the correction that i went through you know i would be maybe something else altogether but it's the correction the chastising that kept me in the straight and narrow and now i thank god for the correction that i got my parents are the dearest people why because of the correction if they didn't give me the question maybe i would not even like them because it would be their fault why didn't they correct me when i was a boy and i didn't know left from rights [Music] so problems sometimes come to your life so that god can correct you [Music] well thank you very much that you're watching we hope you started a watch party shared this on your wall coffee with bdm the first half was absolutely amazing and if you missed it please make sure you watch it all over again as soon as you're done with this broadcast well as we've also seen last sunday here at house of grace international service was absolutely amazing and we hope some of you will be able to join us this coming sunday we start at 10 to 11 30 prompt and in keeping with the government regulations in as fast safety and health precautions is concerned so we hope to see you our members and any other person would like to come of course on the screen we have the directions to the church and 10 shop we start and we finish at exactly half 11. bishop thank you very much again the first half of the show was amazing and you can see from the comments this place is on fire what men wish women would know what really attracts a man to a woman there are many things but what are the things that we as men wish the women would know these are the main things that if you can show me this this is my biola and all well i think uh generally speaking uh men uh given to the eyes so most experts have said that they've proved it as scientifically proven is a you can use your artificial energies and efforts to attract me but natural beauty will keep me hey you can use your artificial efforts to get a man but natural beauty will keep them what are some of these artificial things that maybe women have overdone it i think some women try too much and the man can tell the woman is getting out of here trying too much it's like a car that is over speeding and the wheels are coming off even the wheels cannot hold you know because the capacity of the engine is you know too much and the wheels can handle so some women try too much you use your artificial energies and efforts to attract me but at the end of the day you remember that it's your natural beauty that is going to sustain me and keep me as a man how long will you be trying too hard to keep me how long will you try you know with those artificial things so come down be yourself being yourself is is is sexy to a man just be yourself and you're not negating the fact that artificial beauty helps oh yeah but it's not the be all just be yourself being yourself helps a big deal bishop uh when a man is out with his wife girlfriend fiance among his friends what do we how do you want our women to behave let me answer that very quickly very quickly without hesitation hold on tight the answer is coming the gun has been cooked already one of the things a woman should never do is to try and laugh at the jokes of my friend more than they laugh at my jokes bishop but what no no no i am the funniest man as far as my my wife is concerned or my girlfriend i'm the funniest man in the world if you are the one loving the most are the jokes of my friend i'll be offended i'm just sick about even men i mean men generally can you imagine you've gone out to your girlfriend or wife you know and then your girlfriend they're joking they're laughing more at my jokes than yours i actually feel very bad i'm talking about i'm talking about men all men will agree with me men men do you agree with the bishop men will agree with me please it's a given don't laugh too much even if the guy is funny can i get if another month's jokes are crazier than your husbands or your boyfriend your husband's boyfriend's jokes must be the funniest of course your boyfriend or husband must always come out the one shining in public how does it make a man feel god you see the man has got an ego yes don't forget he has his ego as huge as an elephant and so he doesn't want to feel like you're you know you're laughing too much at the jokes of his friend particularly he's a man yes it will be like actually laughing too much of the jokes of the friend is like you're getting attracted to the man that is interpretation the man i'm a man absolutely so be careful ladies please be careful even if your man has no jokes but just force yourself go and practice in fact right now look at your husband and just laugh right now make him feel good we are ego do we like compliments as well amazing we love compliments you know just like the women love conflict compliments how how does a woman feel when the man says today you're looking nice or your hair is fine yes you know you you're smelling nice and stuff the woman feels good all right equally we we are just like women sometimes because we love compliments we love to be told you're looking nice you're cute you're hus you're you're very handsome you know those kind of things you know so we we too love a lot of compliments and that's where a lot of women fail again because they think that compliments should only only go one way yes you know one direction but also men love compliments so we like compliments a lot it goes a long way increasing this uh machinery of love wow it goes a long way i'm going to ask a very difficult question and i've been asked this by many many people about men and women there is what we call openness in a relationship and that is good should there be full disclosure based on our ego you've talked about our ego should a man know everything about his wife or his girlfriend's of fiance's past you know that was my man the other guy was my man do we want to know all that information we want but when we get it are we happy you know you know i think it calls for a lot of wisdom and knowing men how they are to be honest with you i think uh sometimes full disclosure equals foolishness full disclosure sometimes equals foolishness you will tell the man the things that they may need to know uh the major things if there's a kid in involving this you can tell about the child being there and stuff but then going into telling you know i've slept with 150 men that kind of thing it's dangerous it's extremely unnecessary one of my mentors that i respect highly uh told me some time ago that they don't even tell their wife everything i said why he says i purpose a long time ago not to tell my wife anything that would hurt her wow i would purpose long time ago not to tell my wife anything that would hurt her and uh looking back i think there was some wisdom in that right there are some things that you will tell not to inform but some some things will come not just as information but a very very gruesome knife that you're pushing right through the man so be careful what you're saying and ask yourself even before you say it is it going to be helpful is it going to be necessary before you open your mouth full disclosure sometimes equates to foolishness wow another question bishop there's a man married to a lady things have been tough lost his job the lady is now stepping in to help what is going through that that man's mind how would he want to be handled because the truth of the matter we've had very many cases whereby a man has been told you're good for nothing how does a man want to be handled in that season of his life because there are many women who may not understand or maybe they have been seeking advice from the wrong quarters these facebook groups you go and post this and you're not given very objective counsel but what would a man wish for that season not at least i'm not talking about a lazy man a man was just going through a hard time there's a patch you preached one time about the bumps of life a man just hit that bump why would a woman tell somebody who's not lazy a man who has just maybe been laid off which was not his mistake a hard working man that they're good for nothing it wasn't their fault for them to be laid off right it's just a season or they've just hit the pothole as you say of life i think it will be so crude for a woman who knows that the man is a hard-working man and uh not lazy for them to call them good for nothing i believe that in a relationship you should go through stuff together it's immense you what about if you as a woman lost your job would the man say the same thing so treat others the way you'd like to be treated and i think that as you said if if you qualify by saying the man was not lazy and the man is hard working and he's just lost his job and he's trying all that he can to get a job i think he can pull together because it's just a season a tough season i'm a firm believer tough times don't last but tough people do another million dollar okay half a million dollar question men you're married how would we want our wives to treat our mothers it's a very contentious issue many many men have said you know what i can't even stand how my wife relates to my mother i wish these two would get along what is the secret about a man and his mother in his first marriage is concerned and the relation between his wife and the mother uh women should understand that generally speaking it's been proved that uh mothers are very close to their sons they may be close to their daughters but they are closer to their sons fathers are close to their sons but they're closer to their daughters yes sir so with that in mind you want to get to that place where you respect the your mother-in-law [Music] and know that these people are completely inseparable i would really advise that you treat your mother-in-law the way you treat your own mother the same relationship that your husband has or you let me say your husband here in this case uh because that's where it really applies absolutely uh is is the same way you should treat your mother in law the same way your husband treats her the same way you should be together right you should be together you understand me uh and when that is inculcated then there are no problems you know and i know there's so many complaints when it comes to mother-in-laws and staff and the daughters and stuff i do know i'm not naive to know that there are some mother-in-laws who are very ugly to their daughters in law for no reason yes sir i do know that but try your best and if it's completely a mistake and you've done all you can then you pray and leave it to god and give it some distance so that no you're not always there to be bashed by your mother-in-law so then tell your husband and your mother if your husband is a reasonable person we'll be able to see you know that there's a problem here you know because i know there's some difficult mother-in-laws you know who think maybe you're not the one who's supposed to be married yes maybe who think maybe those are better girl or who think you should be cooking better who think the house should be kept better and on and on and on you know uh sometimes even they also they almost think that the ones who should have been married you know the way they behave yes so mother my mother-in-law's also need to tone down and realize that they're not the wives and you shouldn't you cannot be the wife of your son because you you can never be the wife to your son absolutely so your son has a wife so understand and make it easy for your daughter in law and this is yes yes so you don't make it tough for them you know because uh it is two ways respect is not just one way yes it goes two ways so mother-in-laws have got a part to play and daughters-in-laws have got a part to play absolutely so at least there's peace and love and harmony in this relationship and the man will live longer completely don't make it so rough because a daughter-in-law can be excellent as sweet as honey but the mother-in-law can be you know as bitter as a serpent so be careful and make it easy for your daughter-in-laws because at the end of the day your your son is a a happy wife and a happy home go of course bishop i would do this service to many people if i didn't ask you this question because many people have said of course you're very big on fatherhood and many pastors look up to you um advise a woman i'm really going very chatchy here on this question and the husband is a pastor and i remember we were the mens were eating them at chama we had the men in action many years ago and you're talking to us but i want the people to enjoy this and you're saying if you are called into ministry the kind of person you marry is of absolute importance this is just a bonus for somebody out there of course me included [Music] what are some of these things that we wish our wives or future wives would know in as far as helping us and standing with us in as far as ministry is concerned oh that's a huge question i mean that would take a whole day for me to talk about i know but basically uh i think just to summarize it because of the time is basically support and understanding uh support and understanding um that's what i would say for now supporting the man supporting his call understanding it and supporting it in whatever capacity you think you can fit in doesn't mean that you can also you're also called to preach doesn't mean that you're also called to counsel uh you can just support him by loving him you can just support by just you know being the good wife that you're supposed to be and being the good mother that it's supposed to be and keeping the home clean and nice and peaceful you know you can support him in many ways just look at where you fit in as far as supporting him and making life easy for him i think that's why where god calls you so that you can compliment him you know uh when he comes out from ministry and stuff and ministry staff does he does he have a safe heaven that he can come back to it's very clear men run away from noise you know i'm just trying to to summarize uh noise when a man comes back home he wants to have that peace and that's what bishop said at the top of the show that some men who just drive around their house so that they get home when the wife is asleep so to the ladies who've been watching and man i'm sure in total agreement first and foremost you have been told even if another man is funnier than your husband please your husband must be the funniest person completely so sich asana bishop says kanye gear last week he said otherwise and many people are putting that at the station their status today bishop has given us another one kanye gear so you are your boyfriend your husband's jokes must be the funniest a man wants peace that samson would come and lay his head on delilah's laps that is peace that is peace do not go there and expose some of the things your husband or your boyfriend or your fiance spoke to you in his moment of vulnerability because you lose the trust well bishop your last words to the women and by the way ladies i know it's getting hot in this place next week we are dealing with your issue bishop last words please they i think i think the issue of noise as you mentioned across the last bit you're mentioning the women must understand that uh by making noise it doesn't mean that you're listening because the moment you start making noise we switch off and we get to a place where we say you can shout all you want i'm hearing you but i'm not listening so you can set out all you want but don't make your man switch off it's a bad place it's a very very dangerous place for a man to get they will never listen to you again and all you'll be doing is to make noise like an empty devil but you've lost a man that's why i said talk to him and don't talk at him well i'll be not doing any justice if i had any much ever add any more to that talk to him do not talk at him i'm sure men you have been enjoying it you are commenting and you are loving it but remember next week please men do not disappear because we are going to deal with things we the women feel that men should know well this is hot i i don't know i mean i hope relationships will be saved uh wisdom will come in now sick good counsel ladies i know some of the things have been said are very tough but as bishop we know bishop he shoots straight from the hip and he says the truth uh and bishop thank you very much for downloading wisdom every every friday here with coffee with bdm thank you very much for joining us and before we go please make sure uh you tune in to our service if you're not around the country on sunday from 10 to 11 30 east african time for those of you who can come please make sure you visit with us we have social distancing we have temperature guns we have sanitizers we have taken precaution and i'm sure you'll be best next week another topic here with coffee with medium i've been your host robert brawler god bless you and thank you very much you

Channel: HOUSE OF GRACE HQ

Views: 9,619

Rating: 4.8730159 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: GSHsU3Ip5wI

Length: 38min 20sec (2300 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 11 2020