Clumsy (ft. Wolfychu)

anyone who knows me can tell you that I am a klutz I have been cursed with perpetual clumsiness since probably birth my older brother's favorite nickname for me is clumsy ox which he's used since I was little and still uses to this day my brothers told me that when I was a baby my head was so cartoonishly big that I'd fall over from wherever I was sitting especially if I was on some elevated surface for context here's what I looked like as a baby take a good look at that chunker they'd say in the middle of the night they'd occasionally be woken up by the sound of [Music] I've fallen on my head's flash face so many times as a toddler which maybe explains a lot like I could have gone to Harvard but I've been cruising through life with probably like seven brain cells I have zero spatial awareness so I'm constantly accidentally ramming my hips into the same table corner or tripping over something or knocking something over it's as if I just forget body parts are a thing you know overall I'm a clumsy person but surprisingly I seem to do pretty well in heels I think it's because heels sort of add a +5 buff to your style and confidence and you feel like you have to do them justice and walk in perfectly balanced rides without a single misstep once the heels are on you're that bad baby you're Vashi me from a gret schoo you're the grown-up version of Sbisa you're patrick star in fishnet stockings heels make me feel like a woman of elegance poise and nicely toned calves but as soon as are off it's back to being a klutz okay but having high heels is like a secret weapon is amazing though I can't even take one step in heels my clumsiness is actually worst when I'm not wearing shoes if you can believe it I really like wearing stockings and over-the-knee socks because they're cute and allow me to stay warm without having to wear pants but as it turns out walking on hardwood flooring with them on it's like indoor ice-skating there have been way too many moments where I ran up someone's hardwood floors and tights or socks and just completely slipped and ate it on the last step resulting in bruises and lots of writhing on the floor in pain there's a few stories that stick when I think about my clumsy moment in Southie years and I'm just gonna go through a few one by one in chronological order the banister somehow despite everything I have never broken a bone in my life I have however sprained my ankle once when I was in sixth grade my middle school had these really long stairs that led to the second and third floors and I'd always see kids sliding down the banister in between classes the older kids always made it look so easy and it honestly looked like a lot of fun one day I was walking with some friends while it was quiet in the hallways and when we came across the stairs I thought to myself now is the perfect time to slide down this banister I'm gonna look so freakin cool I've always wanted to do this so I did and as you've probably guessed I landed on my face spraining my ankle in the process how to use crutches for a short time after that and I've never attempted to slide down any banisters ever since oh my gosh I remember wanting to try this too and I was there though because I thought it would be so fun but I was too short to even get up on the banister it's probably a good thing though cuz I'm pretty sure I would have done the same thing as yes the pickles so when I was 13 there was one wintry morning right woken up early and decided to make myself a sandwich to pack for school I was struggling with opening the pickle jar and I decided I absolutely needed these pickles in my sandwich but since my parents weren't home I called up my best friend who lived just a few houses away from me and asked if I could bring over my pickle jar real quick so she could open it for me listen I really needed these pickles it was non-negotiable I bring over my pickle jar she graciously opens it for me and I excitedly hurry off back to the direction of my house however it was winter and there was a fresh patch of ice on the sidewalk in front of her front door so my friend waved me goodbye and watched me happily run with my pickle jar and then immediately slip on ice and fall on the ground the pickle jar smashing into pieces beside me she hurried over to where I was laying and yelled oh my god Emily are you okay your hand is bleeding and the only thing I could respond with was but like pickles I had my sandwich with no pickles that day tragic skate clean a couple years ago I worked as a camp counselor for one summer it was a pretty fun and tiring job but most of the fun came from going on field trips during the day like laser tag the zoo ice-skating the park etc ice skating was my personal favorite because it meant we got to stay inside a super cold building and get away from the scorching Summer Sun but the most memorable trip for me would have to be when we went rollerskating this was my first time rollerskating ever and I was so excited to try it out it was surprisingly difficult I quickly figured out how to pick up speed and skate really quickly around the rink but what did not come to me as quickly less figuring out how to break in an ice skating rink you at least have walls you can kind of slam yourself into if you really need to stop yourself but in this roller skating rink there was none of that in between the wall and the rink there was a slightly elevated carpet area and if you happen to go a little too fast and hit it you'd be sent flying onto the carpet I learned this barred way so kids being the competitive energetic little buggers they are would ask Miss Emily let's see who can go faster and as the adult chaperone the proper response would have been that sounds like fun but as your camp counselor it's my responsibility to make sure all of you are safe and having a good time so I'm going to be taking it slow but I'm more than happy to watch you skate as fast as you'd like but instead it was oh yeah bring it on small child I will leave you in the dust where you stand so being able to skate super fast around the rink and press the kids for a short while up until i neva tably caught my roller skate on the carpeted edge and throw myself onto the floor and then we tell you it burns on your skin rubs against the rink floor and for some reason I just kept doing it past because I was genuinely having a lot of fun and tasks because I felt like I needed to redeem myself it gotten to the point where some of the other counselors would be like you've want to sit out for a bit I can switch out with you because you were just watching me turn myself into an animated rag doll and not setting a stellar example for the kids that sounds like fun I charge rollerskating once back in school and it really didn't end well either I put them on and instantly just slipped down to the ground and couldn't get back up imagine a turtle that's fallen on its back that's what I looked like I haven't tried skating again since then one day we were at a restaurant with friends it was a restaurant where you can also pay to play board games at your table I've never seen something like that before so I thought that was neat it seemed like a nice restaurant although the food wasn't amazing we ordered the spaghetti which was like thirty dollars and we were like 90% sure that it was literally just canned spaghetti anyway by the time we were gonna leave to go home it started pouring down the rain super heavy it was starting to look like some kind of water park outside since it looked like it wasn't gonna stop any time soon we had no choice but to just run for the car it was intense running through the heavy rain we didn't have umbrellas so I was trying to cover my head with my hands and run fast and then we finally reached the car and I hopped in and just let the Hoss I of relief to be out of that craziness and then I looked up and saw a random woman in the driver's seat I was so confused it took me a moment to realize what was happening the woman looked really shocked and then I realized I talked into the strangers car I freaked out and jumped out of the car straightaway I didn't say anything to her I didn't even apologize I just ran to Jordan's car and hopped in he was just laughing like crazy while I was just dying from embarrassment and we saw the woman in the other car speed away getting into the wrong car had always been one of those weird to though fears of mine and I can't believe I actually did it I think I might have traumatized that lady a bit too she probably doesn't leave her car unlocked anymore I feel like a lot of people like to assume clumsiness is an inherently cutesy trait like oh no I've tripped over a breeze and delicately fallen into your arms I'm such a klutz when in reality it's accidentally bruising yourself a little too often waking up your roommates because you ran into everything trying to walk to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water having to spend extra time cleaning up spills and dropped items accidentally breaking things here you something like Emily how did you run it to a screen door what are you a bird and overall just feeling kind of incompetent but it's okay I always have my heels of deception check out all features part of this collab in the description to listen to her clumsy stories and also one bonus clumsy story from me that I share in her video this collab was a lot of fun to work on and I hope you enjoyed watching me expose one of my more shameful qualities stay until the end of the fan art to hear a special announcement oh and also happy first video of 2020 I look forward to trying and improving even more in this coming year and I hope you enjoy the content I have planned oh I wish something exciting happened for a change oh hi friends what you got there Oh a letter could it be a love letter oh it's not it's even better I'm I'm going on tour with my friends that's right I'm going on my first ever tour in the West Coast with ginger palliation cool man coffee Dan and Pat grassy OC from life noggin as MC we're gonna play drawing games together on stage in front of a live audience who controls what we draw so every show will be a little different we'll be hitting up Los Angeles Denver Salt Lake City Seattle Portland and Berkeley so if you happen to be in the area we'd love to see you there I promise it'll be a blast and a half

Channel: Emirichu

Views: 3,024,747

Rating: 4.9780364 out of 5

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Id: vbQGVQsb9T0

Length: 10min 26sec (626 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 15 2020