Club Sobriety: A Documentary About Being Alcohol Free

[Music] my name's Simon and I'm an alcoholic that's what you're supposed to say right but am I an alcoholic I don't really know I mean what is an alcoholic and does it even matter and does giving myself that label actually do more harm than good all I know is that I used to drink far too much alcohol and it was having a really damaging effect on my life I've been trying to stop drinking for over two years now and although I've had a long periods of sobriety of up to six months at a time I'll keep on falling off the wagon which I'm finding really frustrating I know that there's a lot of other people out there who want to stop drinking as well and who also find it really difficult so I've been out to meet lots of people who have successfully stopped drinking to find out why they stopped how they went about doing it and what their lives are like now without their alcohol free I was what society might call just a social drinker I'd have two or three drinks midweek I might get drunk on occasion on the weekend but I was never an alcoholic I never did anything too crazy but when I got into my mid-30s I realized that this habit of drinking just one or two drinks and I was starting to slow me down I'd put on some weight my skin started to look weathered I wasn't productive I wasn't sleeping very well in many ways more and more dancing weekend's were coming along and that was the occasion where I would drink while I was getting ready to go out drink while I was out come back or I would drinking enough dancing nights over so it was just a it was just a build-up it started off actually just that I was doing dry January and then I felt that I was actually at the end of the month I thought I'll carry on and I because I felt so great after it had made such difference to me I was never someone who drank a little glass of wine here a little glass or in there I was always someone who was stopped preconditioned from my younger years to drink heavily in a fraidy and the satyr be like heavily so he's the one pubs run a bar and that was between the ages of 18 and 28 and it was a quiet night would have been five pints probably and if we were really going for it would be like finish work at eleven having had five and then go on to at four in the morning I knew that it was robbing me of the benefits of my food and the things I really really should be enjoying it was robbing me of time you know time with my family time with my children time for myself time for relationships I think I got to the point where I started to really question have I got a problem here am I not normal and it was an internal dialogue that had kind of been creeping around my mind for quite some time when I call it my black life and my black tired players and their the depression and I just want to block it out like block out those negative horrible things and depression and anxiety you know that's really difficult because of just any way out there that I can do that is you know having a drink obviously I know that that's only a short-term solution because the alcohol of the drink the alcohol in the depression for me it's just intertwined so I think I definitely self-medicated to my anxiety with alcohol but the alcohol also made it worse so it was a vicious cycle so I think it started with anxiety but I think obviously alcohol heightens that so my my levels of anxiety just steadily got worse the more I was drinking I remember when I first started morning drinking and that's when I realized okay there must be some kind of issue here other people don't understand what goes on in here and what goes on in here you know when you're lying and their tongue over sopping out eyes out which was me most weekends you know with all the guilt or fear and feeling like I'd lost the emotions around like getting excited for things things that you should get excited for like seeing friends and family I wasn't feeling those same emotions you know cognitively you're like I should be excited about this why am I not feeling excited and then recognize that actually maybe this is all related to alcohol what wasn't happy I wasn't happy and just if you keep doing the same thing over and over again you can't expect a different result so you got to do something else to get a different result right at the end so it really progressed quite quickly over two years they right at the end it would probably be about three bottles of wine a day and some spirits on top of that it was just taking all of my life and he was out of control so I decided to the only way how to do it was to stop it completely to be honest there was no other option for me it got to such a bad state where it was either probably die or or stop drinking so it was quite clear options that I had I think I just got to a point where I wasn't willing to live the way I was anymore and I knew that in order to be happy and to becomes or the person I wanted to be then alcohol had had to go basically I've woke up and I don't want to be this isn't Who I am this isn't the type of person that I want to be I'm 34 years old I should know better and it was a clear-cut decision for me that something has to change and I just stopped drinking I thought that's it it's hard to underestimate the damaging effects that alcohol can have on people's lives it causes anxiety depression weight gain and loads of other health issues even a moderate drinker may do things under the influence that they regret the next day but even more heartbreaking than that is that it robs people of their precious time it destroys connections with their loved ones and it erodes people's happiness what I'm really stop and think about it I can't believe that this stuff is legal but what I've learned is that you don't have to be a stereotypical alcoholic to have a desire to stop drinking it affects such a wide range of normal people people with jobs people with families people with responsibilities but alcohol is an addictive substance and it's so heavily ingrained in our society so is it really possible to stop drinking I knew that I had to give up alcohol probably and and really started seriously trying to about three years before I actually managed to do it because it was so heavily ingrained in my life it was such a big part of my life found it really hard because I knew I tried to kid myself that I could drink like a normal person for probably about two years I quickly realized that I couldn't the biggest challenge was was that mentality of hitting the 28 days or hitting the 90 days and just like almost looking to that sucker the next time I can have a drink looming over you how am I gonna cope on holiday I will never be able to I remember I was at a bar one night in West Hollywood in California and my friend said I'm gonna the bar you want a drink and I said yeah soda water he said are you okay and he went to the bar and he came back and he gave me the drink and he kind of looked suspicious and I went and I could smell that he put alcohol in it and I said did you put alcohol in this and he said haha yeah I did and I was in my head I was like I just can't believe that my friend doesn't support me in this but to him it was like what are you doing you're not drinking are you crazy but to me it was like no this is something that I really wanna I really want to do so it was interesting that some friends in the beginning were uncomfortable with me not drinking and wanted me to just you know get over the silly mistake I was making and drink be part of the tribe I think social situations are really hard I think going to a festival this summer was probably one of the hardest because I associated that with drinking and we go out for dinner and he'd be sitting there and seeing all these lovely wine glasses going by and people sitting and I thinking oh my gosh and it was and I found that the conversation was still today so it was it wasn't a lot of the things that I love about you know doing my social life on music so I'm going to gig some playing ukulele and pubs I'm going to music festivals and that all obviously comes with standard pipe in your hand so the biggest change for me was thinking how on earth am I gonna be able to live that life and not drink it's just gonna be dull as dishwater stopping drinking is hard really hard when I look at the place the alcohol has had in my life I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy my life without it I mean how am I gonna be able to relax how am I gonna have fun and how am I gonna socialize without drinking and it feels like alcohol is everywhere you can't even walk down the street in the UK without seeing the presence of alcohol somewhere but it must be possible to stop drinking because millions of people have done it before I'm not the first to try and I certainly won't be the last so what do I need to do differently to stop drinking once and for the number one thing that really helped me was finding out that other people were going through the same thing so equipping myself with more knowledge go in and reading books finding stuff on YouTube listening to podcasts and the more I like reading books and educating myself the more my mindset shifted towards alcohol and I think that was a huge thing for me the key elements that helped me were you know writing down my why is the first day to remind myself why I'm doing this loading my fridge with alcohol free options alcohol free beer alcohol free wine tonic you know slow flavored syrup to pour in my tonic so I could still feel like I was having a gin and tonic for me I forgot now I have something like a slimline tonic or ginger beer but I always ask for it in a wine glass so it looks nice it's a ceremony of it rather than it just comes in his tumbler I started you know with cutting down first of all and starting to to fill the gap that I was creating with new things did a lot of work on myself and that sort of stuff if I was feeling why it could drink for Scotland I would just either go for a run and come back and have no non cold beer and the other the other one for me was sort of relaxation so I was a quite a lot of music on a lot a lot more than they usually would and I've found that really good and also lots of baths and that's a cliche but literally I just one day at a time and today I'm having a drink if they never do it yesterday and I'm gonna try my hardest not to tomorrow you know so and that's that's why I look at it meeting all these people has made me realize that there's loads of tools and techniques out there to stop drinking alcohol it's all about finding the right strategy for you and your situation from reading books about it or writing down your reasons for stopping going out running or finding new ways to relax and alcohol-free drink alternatives definitely seem to be a popular choice and from my own experience they certainly hope to take the edge off when those cravings occur and the availability of these in supermarkets and bars is going up and up and they've really started to taste like the real thing and education seems to be another key factor learning more about how alcohol works and learning from other people's experience understanding that we're not on our own doing this because sometimes it really does fill up that way but instead becoming part of a community of other people who are striving to achieve the same thing one of those communities which I founded became part of is called one year no beer the first thing I did was actually sign up when you're no beer that it helped me kind of cross that line I knew like I thought they I should probably stop and then luckily I came across them at the same time I was like actually this is exactly what I need 28 days to give me a clear cut so through them I found an amazing support network full of really positive and encouraging people that were able to provide great advice he really helps to know that no people on the same journey like with yourself exactly even the same day I think or maybe the day after or whatever just to have that camaraderie you know because you know that people have experienced the same thing as you reading people's stories knowing that there are other people out there that are in the same situation as myself to know there are people out there you can just say I'm a I'm struggling or you know today I'm feeling this or you know what am I gonna do and the support comes back he's unbelievable you know it's like yeah I've been there I was there yesterday and it's about just sitting with it and sitting with the feeling that comes up the craving or whatever but know no other people out there like really waiting for you I've done dry January before you know I prove to myself oh I can do 30 days with no alcohol but once you start to go a little bit further it opens you up to emotions and feelings that you probably have numbed out for many years of your life and I wasn't I wasn't equipped with how I should deal with those and hearing how other people had felt similar things just made me take a breath and think okay this is this is normal and I can get through this there are loads of other communities and support groups out there to you on Facebook and reddit you can join groups for free to quickly and easily connect with people on Instagram there's a whole community of alcohol free ambassadors or starting your own blog can be a way to share your story and keep yourself accountable or you could pay to be part of a structured program where they'll give you advice tools and coaching to help you achieve your goal to stop drinking so one of the things that 30-day no alcohol challenge community has created is this community of people who are like yes look at me I'm up at 7:00 a.m. this morning here's a photo of me on a hike hey here's me with my girlfriend having a non-alcoholic dinner and people share the photos people go like like like they support they go wow that's amazing and then they get inspired by other members and change occurs amongst other people so when you have accountability and you have people doing this in a fun supportive way that's when change really becomes possible some people may find that they need even more support especially if they have a physical dependency on alcohol for people like this there are additional services available like Alcoholics Anonymous outreach programs and rehab if you think that you have a physical dependency on alcohol it is really important that you seek professional help there was an incident at work and the MD took me to one side and she said that they would help me with rehab so residential rehab which I then decided to go to the next week for me it was a necessity I had to be taken out of my environment which was pretty much the four walls of my flat taxi and work at that point and and I had to be completely taken out of my environment in order to not have any temptation around me and be with people that understood what I was going through so yeah it definitely saved my life so after that 28 30 days I did join a 12-step program I would say that I was quite reluctant to at first but I knew that it worked because I've seen other people do it I had tried to join 12-step program before rehab and but I didn't understand the language that they use it seems a bit culty to me in all honesty but then I found the right one and met some great people through it and I just kept that contact with that community going and the same people from rehab and we we became friends and that really really massively helped through all of these stories about people who have successfully stopped drinking alcohol there's something which I think is really interesting no matter where people are on the spectrum from people who have had a physical dependency on alcohol to people who've just fed up of the occasional hangover there's something that they all have in common they're all part of a community of other people who are there to help and support each other they've all found a tribe that they can belong to whether that's online or face-to-face there's loads of communities and support groups out there so it's about finding the right one for you for me a new tribe that I'm now part of is a mindfulness group that I set up myself a couple of months ago because mindfulness is a really important part of my own journey but doing it together with other people makes it much easier to do it makes it much more fun and it makes it much more powerful I think the community is the most important part of quitting drinking if you have people around you who are also quitting drinking or who have quit and they're supporting you and it's fun and it's positive then change becomes possible if you're relying on brute willpower and you're going oh no I have to quit drinking oh I'm alone then that change becomes particularly difficult but I think there's something which is often overlooked and it's a vital part of the puzzle what's the reason for drinking in the first place for me I now know that the reason for my drinking was because I had anxiety and depression and a low sense of self-esteem and I was using alcohol to cover this up I was using alcohol like an anesthetic to numb out these negative feelings that I had for myself but the alcohol just made it worse and it was like a downward spiral that was then really really difficult to stop stopping drinking alcohol for a lot of people including myself is just the start of the journey but it's a journey that can lead to a much happier and a much more fulfilling life for me life is simply better without alcohol so I was drinking you know for many years for most of my adult life and then the moment that I decided to take a 30 day break which then turned into eight is now was the moment that my entire life changed but I can't I can't even describe it's like a million times better physically it's it's obvious you know I feel better I wake up and I'm fresh you know fresh I'd got fresh mindset I can the first couple of months I thought oh it's amazing I can brush my teeth I can smell my shampoo again I'd lost all sense of smell you know everyone just keeps saying oh you look so much better my skin so much better my sleep is so much better it's really helped with my anxiety so have more energy I've got more focus greater clarity I've started businesses have improved relationships I'm happier and fit I look the way nature intended me to look people take the break-up okay they think they're just going to remove the obvious things like the nausea and the headaches but you only meet what your best possible self it's like a gateway to like the real you because when you get that and your anytime you'll know John back you can do anything and everything you've always liked attend Sunday Rose goals and those trains have been snipping through your fingers for the last 10 years but they're in play this is upward spiral of goodness for one simple job it's just it's freedom freedom to be able to pick my daughter up from work when she phones me and I can go and pick her up because not only me it's actually having the patience to deal with the kids when they get you know they'll just be get noisy or they bump themselves so they want me to play with them it's just having their it's just not having the hangover or just having them just just having all of our presence of mind to be with them you know I think is the best thing so my time is used in a much better way and it's phew it's gonna fuel me in different places in life that I wouldn't have gotten to if I was drinking I used to say to be blue I can't do anything in the evenings really and that was during the week and that was because once I had a couple glasses of wine I just didn't feel like doing anything whereas now I've signed up to an Andhra so I've just just done be second class of yoga at age 2 o'clock on a Wednesday night I mean no way would I ever have been added to do something like that so that's that's lovely anxiety is a huge part of my story and I suffer I used to suffer quite badly but now I've got the coping mechanisms in place which don't include alcohol my clarity of thinking is so much better I laugh a lot again I'm just genuinely happier it's just crazy to do within reason while one went along whenever along I'm going to yoga all the time now I'm reading books all the time now I'm spending nice time with my husband and so you know potentially arguing because we're drunk and thinking stupid the best thing is when you wake up the next day and you don't have a hangover and you're listening to all your friends that are kind of moaning about their hangovers and you just think oh that's why I didn't drink last night and I still had just to get as good a time oh you know in club in the other week with some mates and all I had was two bottles of water and I danced my little so I was looking Blackpool a couple of weeks ago I went to an Irish bar and they've got like a little stage that people have dancing on one amazing woman how she was doing it in their heels and clearly drunk I don't know but I was up there as well dancing and I really wanted to shout you know want to say that I don't need to do to do this what I thought that you know six months ago when I started this journey or eight months ago that I would have ever done that hell no you know I haven't got to hide away and a big deal I still enjoy live music and I and I go there and they just thought to get a bit silly maybe around one o'clock in the morning with people now falling around and and I guess what I Drive home I've met some really amazing people made some new friends you know and yeah it's it's it's been really positive actually a lot less scary than I thought it might be the whole social media putting yourself out there it's actually been it's been a really good experience really positive experience it's this endless new world that you have available to you now that you never feel like crap on the weekends and you have all this extra time in the evenings that you might have spent just in the pub chatting to people you don't know people are now I've got this level of awareness about what alcohol actually does to the body and how it's slowing them down and how it's affecting their goals and their dreams in life so with that increased education increased awareness becomes new ways of actually having fun and socializing and feeling part of a tribe but doing it in a healthy positive way my life has completely changed but in a good way there are there are tough times but but on the whole it's you know I wouldn't change it do I want to live a good life or donnelly amazing life and and I think the last you know it's particularly this this stage now I'm at now now I'm past the 90 days again it's I feel like I'm living a hundred percent and I'm living it maximum enough things are happening that you're put in the right place I'd only get to like we were about it but I think the universal law or serendipity or whatever you want to call it I'm in the right place at the right time and those opportunities would have been missed they would have been missed a year ago wow what a difference being alcohol-free makes to people's lives it's amazing who said that being sober was boring so many people are terrified that they won't be able to enjoy their lives or have fun without alcohol but every single person that I've spoken to has said that without question their lives are much better since they ditched the booze the improved connections in people's lives is what's really stood out for me especially connections with their families and their loved ones but also connections with their work and their social lives this encourages me personally to continue my own alcohol free journey and I hope that it gives you some inspiration to more and more people are coming to this conclusion themselves and it feels like the alcohol free revolution has well and truly started so it's society at large going to catch on to the benefits of being alcohol-free I decided that since I've been going to all my friends parties where they've all been drinking I thought they can come to my party and they can try being alcohol-free so it's a bit of an experiment I don't know how they'll find it some of my friends as a result of me not drinking have been inspired to do stop Tober and some of them are carrying on with that so there are a few people that aren't drinking anyway but lots of people are trying alcohol-free beer and stuff for the first time and the alcohol free cocktails and yeah it's an interesting experiment well the first festival we did under beau Berman to square in South by and now this is not back right this is our first one so what's happened is it's everyone wanted one and so we tried really hard to do those in Onalaska and they've really grown so I think in our first first two first of all we have 20 25 Greeks brands and now we have 60 at this one so there's definitely a big shift in the number of brands but also the interesting people those who are so curious and want to try drinks and we also have over these two days we have a full program of events like dogs panel discussions cocktail making demonstrations all sorts Oh so a couple of years big monster tracks what we've realized quite early on when I first gave up drinking and when we first out club soda was people wanted to know what to drink instead and actually four years ago what we don't there wasn't many options but suddenly they've started to emerge and everybody wants to try them we thought was being more the best round under one roof try finding you favourite tipple and realized that there were options out then it may never thought before so I go and socialize my turn alcohol free alternatives we're at a festival at the moment we might be drinking festival it must be sixty or seventy different types of alcohol free alternative they become a more mainstream than more popular I think in years to come remember we're the culture we are ahead of the game for the first time maybe ever in our lives we're at the forefront of something really special and in a few years time people that I get a look back at you and go you are ahead of the game in advance making this documentary and meeting all of these people has been nothing short of breathtaking I've been blown away by the strength and the courage that people have shown to overcome their difficulties and to stop drinking once and for all and I'm so happy that it's becoming more and more socially acceptable to be alcohol free stopping drinking isn't easy but what I've learned is that it is possible and it does get easier with time if you're thinking about stopping yourself then why not give it a try you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain it can it can feel like a long and arduous journey but lots of people who have done it before and there's many groups out there that can give you help and support so you don't have to do it alone alcohol creates so many barriers for people to live happy and meaningful lives but what's clear from everyone that I've spoken to is that being alcohol-free can help us all to be happier healthier and more successful in our lives if you'd like to get in touch with any of the organizations that we've mentioned in this video then we'll link leave the links below and finally I'd like to say massive thank you to everyone who's been involved for your time and for sharing your stories [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Tomlinson Media

Views: 117,298

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Id: 6pGLIi93HFQ

Length: 31min 45sec (1905 seconds)

Published: Fri May 01 2020