Climbing Crib Goch Snowdon Solo | Mental Health Awareness

living up there [Music] so [Music] all right morning folks we well me myself and i are parked at penny pass car park so this is at the base of snowden i'm in snowdonia national park i was here yesterday i climbed the mountain with a good friend sarah williams known from tough guard challenges we went up the pig track and then came down the miners track got to summit really good day super chill super easy today i'm toughening things up a little bit i'm going up crib goku which is known as one of the most extreme knife edge routes that you can do without actually being climbing um in certainly in in the uk so i'm i'm nervous and excited i've done striding edge i've done squirrel edge i've done sharp edge i've done done the whole bunch of them where's this car going he's going in there uh but this is kind of the pinnacle i think there's a lot of debate as to which is more challenging um and i guess i'm going to find out today it was kind of cool yesterday being able to scout out the route as well because from the pig and the miners track i could see the entire ridge from all different angles from the summit as well my goal isn't even really to reach the summit it's just to do crib gawk today just to push those push those limits a little bit more um so we'll see how we go with filming it i'm i'm i'm feeling okay in general um but anyone who's followed my social media platforms where i try and keep you guys up to date as much as possible you know it's been a really turbulent time um these last few months but weeks in particular my mental health has been very very bad um and there's been a lot of question as to whether this is the right thing for me to do today but i really believe it is because it's it's almost like a physical manifestation of what it is like dealing with mental health feeling right on the edge with sheer drops either side and the only way you can go is forwards um or just stop and take a breather so step by step i'm just packing the bag anyway get lots of water got my tripod got my camera got my stick i need to put some cream on my face because of really dry skin and i have penny's lead she's climbing with me marie westy who is no longer with us but she always comes on my walks with me in some way or another and then we think we're good lock the car and get going i'm a little bit late starting than i'd like but that's all right mountains not going anywhere ideally we don't drop the camera this early into the hike okay we've got a bunch of signs here so behind us as we've seen is the miner's track so the pig track pyg we have to follow that initially and then right up in front of us well that is actually crib so we're gonna branch off up there in a little bit let the climb begin i can't decide if i'm cold or not i know i'm just emotional it's been a long morning already just need to get my feet on the ground quite literally and metaphorically head into the experience and let the mountain do its thing mountain energy always helps me here's a little billboard just saying about a miners and pig track so you can see here the red line and then where it branches left and you can continue up and that is crib go the highest point's actually sort of halfway along the ridge so let's see how we go accident black spot okay well we're gonna be okay we're gonna be okay let's go the pig track is actually the shortest route up snowden with the least amount of ascent not that that mattered too much to me though as i was only using the first stretch to reach the base of go morning good morning yeah thank you i'm still trying to decide whether i'm nervous about the cloud or not i mean it's not a hugely dense cloud bank that is moving across krug but it's it's enough to be a little bit intimidating this is very unfamiliar territory for me whales in general you know i've grown up exploring these mountains somewhat i've done snowden i don't know how many times as a kid but this is different this feels wild and real you know i said yesterday in the video that goq is notorious for people dying last year 2020 i guess what with people not being able to go on their usual holidays they thought oh let's try cream and the truth is this is not a this is not a gym there is no health and safety conduct if you slip you slip and you're in trouble and uh i know there's kind of only one way to go with regards to the cloud being down but uh i'm just gonna take the steady and this is definitely one of those times where i have to consciously choose to lean in lean in to know or lean into knowing what i'm capable of what i've done where i've been what i've seen and actually my abilities and underneath all the agitation and anxiety that comes with dealing with mental health i know i'm a pretty solid and calm person i can be rational and the mountains force you to be rational this isn't a case of let's see how this goes it's only gonna go one way i'm gonna succeed today resisting the urge to say hopefully it's almost like to get to the mountain we have to go for a mountain graveyard these massive boulders i don't know if these are erratics so they're left behind by the glacier that would have moved through here or if they've tumbled down from up there if the second option is the case i'm gonna keep moving nice little burn coming down there climbing higher i gained broader views over the surrounding lands i wasn't optimistic that the cloud would shift off the summit so i certainly made the most of it as i headed upwards slightly rockier section here to get up it's a good day because hey look at this around the corner and they put in steps yeah big steps big steps for little legs there's definitely more bright spots i would say things are shifting the right way i just want to see that in front of us and it's not quite catching up here just thought adds to the mysterious demeanor of crib himself you know snowden the name snowden in welsh means uh snow-capped mountain i'm pretty sure this will kilimanjaro means as well or is that white capture mountain interesting isn't it around the world no matter where you are you'll find similarities in places like the mountains or maybe just in my head because i'm confused all right just approaching the junction now where we turn off to climb up to cryptgoc you really see the cloud base is actually quite low it's around the corner but i want to use this time to remind myself of what i'm capable of and that i can that was my motto i can all right here we go leaving the pig track heading up into the cloud towards crib gork i don't think i'm going to be wearing my hat for long it's really quite windy oh i feel really nervous if i'm honest know that i can slowly slowly no turning back now one foot in front of the other real feeling of trepidation more than anything getting frustrated with my hair flying around my face seems like we sketch around to the left before we really tackle the first face of the scramble that's good get myself in the zone this is happening people come on see there's a few folk up ahead kind of nice to not be completely alone on here but i think we're gonna be good fantastic views they'll enjoy them whilst they last it's going to be a lot of this just showing my feet maneuvering on the rocks that's the closest i can get you to the real life experience oh jesus people coming down i would not like to be them see up there that's where i need to go it's all just like slanting slightly i feel very small seems like everyone else went that way i feel a bit sick all good know that i can so far so good anyway i think this is the base of the rock face there's always another hold it's something i'm telling myself about life in general even when it looks like we're up against a solid rock face there's either another way like where i'm going now or another hold just gonna focus gotta breathe i'm gonna hold the face i don't know what the deal is with this path there's one that just keeps wandering off into this way direction and it doesn't seem well it seems to go up the side as opposed to up the front but i feel like i'd rather go up the front there's more rock to choose from actually geology appreciation moment you see that rock there how cool is that clearly volcanic or something snowden and its surrounding peaks have been described as a true example of alpine topography with most of the surrounding circs being formed by glacial erosion fingers this way just sort of looking for the eroded stone to guide my footing here we go i was actually about to say so far i haven't really needed any hands but now i do what do i ready here all in the thigh muscles people freezer is not that way although people have gone that way i'm gonna go this way slightly down actually just keep the focus there's always a next step good all right now you're gonna stay there a second it might even be time to put you away but for now i think you're still allowed and i am gonna use my hand just like this oh and the views are clearing just so everyone can see me fall down the mountain no positive no what just a lot of snot sure filming this is not the best idea i've ever had but then you know i don't actually know i'm filling the silence with anything but the sounds of my screams stay beauty give me a hold people oh if it doesn't ah it's all good fun right i think this is the thing like i'm nervous but i think that's the voices in my head you know i'm anxious but that's the lies that have been spoken over me i bet it's making some of you guys nervous isn't it i'm uh i'm excited and that's me i enjoy this stuff this makes me come out of me you know sometimes we have to do something really out of the ordinary really extraordinary to get back into ourselves or rather bring ourselves out of ourselves i have a feeling this is going to be one such example i mean i do find myself questioning why it has to be so extreme but this is the path i must walk it's less time see this jaggedy rock so much easier just grippier you know i'm not even panting hard because my heart rate's up it's more just adrenaline i think plenty of adrenaline right now maybe i should have gone the other way oh good heading right up to the ridge now here we go oh jeez oh jeez you got this one breath at a time one step at a time you know that you can oh yeah yeah come on buddy come on you're good man you're good you know this is actually real pretty safe you know you can trust yourself you've got this oh oh crap here we go jeez man this is crazy this is crazy i love it geez this just feels like such a flipping metaphor always like dealing with mental health right now i feel like i'm in the exact environment that feels like in my head all the time just this pretty terrifying exciting because there's opportunities and if we choose to with a growing growth mindset we can take and make opportunities out of anything but doesn't mean it's not scary nervous laugh so bizarre because i literally have no idea what i'm walking up to like is this the way i'm presuming so oh look a gigantic drop this is definitely not winter terrain is it i got this man it is possible i'm safe i'm safe in my own hands i'm safe i can trust myself i can trust myself right now i take this very moment to choose life i'm gonna step onto this trail i'm gonna be conscious i'm gonna breathe i'm gonna make it i'm grateful geez it feels like just the mountains every time i come up to somewhere that's a little bit sketchy i just get so grateful for my life this is an adventure i want to do this i'm not defined by my mental health i'm me abby and i know i can let's get it done so this is a little bit absurd actually [Music] oh you got jaggery this is insane wonderful nice afternoon in the mountains actually still the morning never mind irrelevant time does not matter up here as long as it doesn't get dark i'm good i don't mind kind of being on one side of the drop because i have this like water barricading me from that side i only have this side to worry about [Music] so here's the thing it's exposed but it's not too bad so far no clue how far we have to go don't really have a clue about anything to be honest except this is manageable so long as you don't let the exposure get to you this is crazy look at this just really gnarly full concentration required which way do i go the wind is not helpful today ah geez come on i don't recommend trying to do this with a camera little steps there we go got it oh jeez how do we oh phew looks like we can go around this that looks quite extreme i don't want to go up that actually i'm happy to go this way good job [Music] sort of wondering at what point the camera should go away so far it's been okay i'm stood here i have to get up here yes now is the time the camera goes away all right let's go good all right now we've gotta get up there i think that's doable something that made a difference to me getting through the day was that i was rarely alone for long even with the clouds around me there were always a handful of others tackling the route some more confidently than others and despite them being complete strangers it made a difference to my experience it gave me courage which came in ebbs and flows as the day went on at times i felt totally lost emotionally and others fall to the brim the rapid changes were disorientating and confusing and i was afraid to trust myself at points but i knew that i had to the mountains would keep me grounded and in them well that was where i could come alive can you see this the view is opening up a little bit we dropped down below the cloud those whales people oh i don't know whether it's the cold or whether this general experience is causing this but i have the chills right now i think it's just nice to see something other than mist so the summit is over there somewhere let's keep going yeah this is deep enough it's pushing me a bit today i know i'm really fatigued so if you've watched some recent videos you'll know that i've been hiking in the mountains for three weeks now scotland then the lakes and whales i've had a lot of emotional breakdowns i managed to rack up a horrible cold i'm pushing myself so much and i'm only two days into feeling a little bit better both days of climbing snowden ah this is the other side of the job better get it done i'm loving it i just want to use some grass to lie down on now jeez [Music] you can see that little blue sky good stuff [Music] [Music] up [Music] i'm good we're good this is fun and wow you can see the ridge now whoa just wow that's cool we walked all the way along there look i know you can see in front that's incredible wow it really feels like we've been rewarded for our efforts today that is quite a sight but i've got to be honest when you can see where you go it does not have the same impact fantastic [Music] here comes the cloud again get ready for it to hit this side is still clear [Music] [Music] root [Music] oh my gosh there it is we're nearly there oh geez i need that i mean i could have imagined that because the clouds come back in but as i approached the trick point marking the top of crib goq i felt a rush of emotion i couldn't quite believe what i had just achieved i mean sure getting up the mountain was just halfway but i'd actually made it i'd endured not only a gnarly root but dark voices and hard feelings along the way i had dug in deep to my why and to the truth that the only person who could get me up and down was me just the same as in day-to-day life being around people helped being in the mountains helped the metaphor of it all helped and i knew that all of these things every experience every challenge every extra step counted that it was all putting into place a self belief that was still very new to me a belief that i count that i matter so standing there at the top i felt truly humbled grateful and blessed and i felt a little twinge of hope too that the struggles i faced in dealing with my mental health on a day-to-day basis could actually be reworked into something very powerful indeed i just had to keep showing up moment by moment i've just stuck down behind this can to get out the wind it's so cold now i need to put another jacket on we've made it though we've made it i'm just looking at the path going up to the summit and i'm not interested i'm not interested in snowden this isn't about snowden this is about this is about what i've just conquered yeah no one else can ever know that except me it's a very personal journey but i'm trying to invite you in in the only way that i don't know how to show you that no matter what there are ways through the darkest spaces that there is light and hope always if we just keep going my life matters i am enough just as i am and coming out here it's good for me was harder than i expected it to be i was way more fragile than i thought well no i knew i was fragile but i didn't expect to be so impacted but i've done it and i knew that i could do it and i've got myself through it if i'm choosing life in a place like this then i can choose life down on flat ground choose to focus on the little things choose to feel joy choose to love and live and laugh it's not always going to feel easy my mental health is going to flare up over and over and over again i'm gonna end up in situations that are really scary like that ridge but i can get myself through them and i can trust myself i know i'm gonna have to keep proving that for the rest of my life i can't trust myself i'm sort of getting a view down there now i'm looking forward to facing it it is very very cold it's got to be i don't know like to three degrees probably right now with the wind is icy up here so i'm just walking up to that like commingling point of all the different trails well many of them see the lambaris path which runs up alongside the railway snowden summit i can wave i'm heading down it's not important to me and my journey today all right let's go after the summit let's get down this mountain oh hello doggy well funnily enough as we've dropped down crew got himself has come out of the cloud i can't believe i just walked that i can't believe today i can't believe where i am and what i've just done i feel changed people i feel changed right i'm going to head out for a speedy descent so well to be honest i just need to reflect i just need to get back into myself and really just make the most of being on the mountain so we'll see how filming goes there's a lot to take in there's a lot to digest there's a lot to be proud of for me the descent was easy i felt light on my feet and nimble as a mountain goat it was wonderful having the views up ahead and i sort of enjoyed passing all the people making their way up the mountain i left the pig track to join the miners path built to serve the britannia copper mine on snowden the miner's path is regarded as one of the easier routes up the mountain hence why i made such a speedy descent soon reaching clinclado the largest of the three lakes on snowden's eastern flank next to the lake were some ruins from the copper mining including barracks built to house 100 men which gives an idea of the scale of the mine that was worked on most of the buildings date to the 19th century as i walked i enjoyed reflecting on the different groups of people who have spent time on snowden from past to present you know there are so many different types of people out here on the mountain and you can tell for some very clearly this is a first probably the first and maybe even the last and only mountain that they'll climb and that's really cool i want to celebrate that with them even though some people i do question what they're wearing if the weather was to change but the thing is you know it causes a lot of self-reflection and i go why why do i have to push my horizons all the time push my boundaries challenge myself face my fears all the time what is this incessant urge to push myself out of my comfort zone but then i'm like do i even have a comfort zone because so often i feel uncomfortable in my general well-being and existence and that's not meant to be a sad statement it's just true the daily struggle of life with mental health and chronic pain is a lot and some people will never know that and who am i to be frustrated or angry at my limitations when they're just part of who i am i have to harness them as my superpowers not my weakness and i don't know just days like today really remind myself of what i'm capable of and where i'm going if i just keep showing up one step at a time and also i want to support people to get out here i want to support people to climb their crib whatever it looks like you know everybody has a mountain to climb we all know the metaphor but it just looks different and this is where community is so important empowering one another encouraging one another i know i couldn't do this alone today even though i've consciously done this alone today and it's a real blessing to know that i have the outdoors as a safe place where i can just be and be me fully and wholeheartedly unashamedly the point is just to partner with myself and to inspire others to do the same that when we really tap into who we are if we take off the mask if everybody did that the world would be such a different place it's scary it's terrifying it's hard it's rough people aren't gonna like it but it's so worth it life is just so much richer and for me it means i land up in places like this anyway i'm nearly back well i'm not i've got about a mile but i'm just going to walk this out slowly thinking thoughtful and reflective and i'm gonna wrap the film up here with the reservoir and the mountains behind thank you so much for watching guys thank you for accepting me for who i am regardless of my struggles and difficulties we are all the same really and we all belong step into this community step into this space and you will find a place of belonging there are open arms there's a warm hug it's an amazing thing just be as you are until next time enjoy your adventures no matter how big or small high or low vast or not enjoy them every second and stay wild [Music] you

Channel: Abbie Barnes / Spend More Time In The WILD

Views: 67,340

Keywords: Abbie barnes, Thru Hiking, Backpacking, Song Thrush Productions, Adventure, Hiking, Day Hikes, Gear review, Foraging, Walking, Mental health, wellbeing, Trekking, National Park, Mountain, spend more time in the wild, community, long distance, national trail, scotland, lake district, snowdonia, camping, wild camping, stay wild, UK hiking, filmmaking, vlog, photography, snowdon, miners track, pyg track, Watkins path, llanberis, railway, mountain railway, sunrise, 3 peaks challenge, ranger path

Id: BK6B-4bPBCE

Length: 43min 12sec (2592 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 26 2021