Changing How We Think About Wellness | Monica Mo | TEDxCitrusParkWomen

can't tell you the truth I am really nervous right now like really nervous and it's literally all throughout my body I can feel the adrenaline rushing throughout me my heart's being faster and if I held my hands up you can see they're shaking but I'm gonna acknowledge right here right now that this is all totally normal I'm human yet the very first thought that came into my head was I don't want to look like a mess it's almost as if I expected myself to look perfectly put together like it's kind of superhuman so what exactly is a superhuman well it's defined as someone who exceeds ordinary human power achievement and experience and it goes beyond just looking calm and collected on a stage in fact it's an ideal that we expect people to strive for and there really lives in order to be viewed as healthy productive members of society you know we as humans are very obsessed with doing the extraordinary and when it comes to our health we are especially driven by control we want to prevent or reverse things that happen in nature like aging disease how long we live it's actually quite remarkable if you think about how far this obsession has taken us just in this past century we haven't been able to increase our average life expectancy from 49 - well into our 70s because we've been able to advance in fighting infectious diseases so can the same be done to eradicate the chronic diseases that currently limit us things like heart disease diabetes cancer I mean anything's possible right in fact the Blue Zones project by National Geographic Explorer Dan Buettner has actually looked at different regions of the world where they are living on average 10 to 12 years longer than other people in the world and they have low rates of chronic disease so most of this is actually well known we already know how to live healthy you eat a healthy balanced variety of nutritious foods you exercise don't smoke but also things like community and a sense of purpose these are all the things that help you lead a healthier life yet what we're hearing from the media is that we're supposed to be we're very confused we don't know what to do but I can tell you that it's actually backed by science that all of these things is what leads to healthier life so why is it that we feel so confused well our media wants us to think that and I know this too the work that I do through my health and wellness media company while C can also in my role as a council member of true health initiative which is a global coalition of some of the world's most respected health experts scientists and researchers who are spreading the truth around healthy lifestyles so trust me when I say I am for science but what's happened along the way is that we're seeing the messaging around health and wellness become distorted we're seeing the shift away from more practical approaches of balance and moderation and trusting in our own bodies and towards this obsession with perfection we're looking for these holy grails and fountains of youth and silver bullets of health that just don't exist in many ways we're also seeing health and wellness become more about how we appear on the surface so in other words it's more like superficial health and it's driving a narrative that a picture-perfect superhuman is who we should strive to be and that is what's a roading our minds and taking us further away from what true health is now help is something I've been obsessed with for as long as I can remember since the age of 12 be exact that was when my mom nearly died her heart had stopped after she had given birth to my sister and they brought her back but she was in a coma for a week and we didn't know she would make it luckily for us she did wake up but our family's lives were never quite the same in at the age of 12 I actually became one of her primary caregivers now that experience really created a curiosity in me about health and life I mean it's such a fragile thing and I was better understand it so I could prevent terrible things from happening like what had happened to my mom so when I took college wants to study bioengineering thinking okay I'm gonna go be a scientist so I continued on into my PhD work and I went into the biotech industry as a metabolic engineer and a data scientist and I thought I was doing exactly what I loved exploring new ways to develop therapeutics that could save lives but I felt more and more disconnected from the actual people all that data was supposed to help and that's what initiated my path and entrepreneurship and held him wellness know initially I looked at everything through the lens of a scientist and engineer precision and accuracy that was the main goal but as I delved deeper I finally realized and I started to see that her health choices are far more driven by our emotions by our social and cultural surroundings than any data or rationale alone according to a Harvard Business Review 95% of our consumer decisions are actually made from an emotional place and then we'll find that data and facts to basically validate our decision so for better for worse we are actually making decisions around our health about the way we feel about our situation the way we feel about ourselves and the way we want others to feel about us so in some ways you can say that superficial health was hardwired in us you see our brains operate from both a cognitive bias and an emotional bias that distorts and we'll oversimplify the way we see reality and what we'll believe in it's why we're totally fine with bucketing nutrition into good foods and bad foods despite the fact that we that our food and our nutrients are processed through thousands of biochemical reactions within our body it's why we'll stereotype people in larger bodies to be less healthy than those in smaller ones even though we all come in different shapes and sizes and it's determined by age genetics and even things like emotional health or socioeconomic status all of these things will determine what body size you're at and it's why when we see someone who looks successful and happy why do we why could they possibly be suffering from mental health issues on the inside so you see we choose to believe these superficial ideals because it's simply easier to do so because it would take a lot more time and efforts try to look at everything and understand everything underneath the surface and that's what allows that superhuman narrative to continue to dominate our minds and it fuels a propaganda that preys on our fears that were not doing enough not skinny enough not fit enough not eating clean enough not looking put together enough and as amplified by a 72 billion dollar health and wellness industry that has more to gain each time they provoke that fear within us that we are not trying hard enough now our bests were probably spending a whole lot more money than we need to and at worst it can damage our psyche and our sense of self-worth and in some cases can even be deadly so I want you to see that it's not the data or the science out there that's the problem it's a way it's framed or a lens that's meant to provoke your deepest fears and it tells a lie to anything less than superhuman is a weakness so how do we actually check back into the reality of our emotions and really uncover health from a more trusting and empowered place well we must replace fear and control with love and acceptance so there's this misconception that love and acceptance must mean you're complacent you're stagnant you're not really trying when in reality it's the very thing that creates change it allows you to move forward in the presence rather than fearing a future of what-ifs love allows you to remember that life is not about possession or control it's about kindness and respect and acceptance lets you see a situation for what it is the good and the bad so you can work through what you go through in fact acceptance is one of the key factors that are the key concepts that are taught through this growing movement you're seeing right now in mindfulness practices and meditation has been around for decades through different cognitive behavioral therapies that's used to treat anxiety depression and addiction in fact there was a Carnegie Mellon study that showed that acceptance training was a key driver of the benefits around mindfulness and it can even reduce stress responses by up to 50% and when that happens it allows your body to go back to its natural states where it's no longer threatened you can see things from a more rational the retinal illogical side of decision-making and you can actually see more clearly in other words when you stop fearing what is you can focus on what is possible that's why I chose to start this conversation off by just saying I am really nervous so now the question is how can love accept love and acceptance what really worked for you can it drown out the lies of superficial health for you well I know it can because it did for me you see love and acceptance was what allowed me to overcome two decades of struggles with body image and disordered eating when everything first happened with my mom I was still teenager just trying to really uncover my xeni as a young woman and I was just grasping for control in a very chaotic time in my life and so I found myself gravitating towards media and our telling me who I should strive to be and I became obsessed with being thin no matter what the cost because I feared that I would not be worthy or valuable unless I took up less space in this world sadly I am not alone in this according to a large study by death over 85% of women in this country hate the way their body looks and at some point in their lives have restricted amount of food they eat because they feared to be a bigger size have you guys had that for myself it wasn't until I started my work through well seek I started to recognize that my book knowledge was so completely disconnected from the way I was really living for my health I wasn't caring for my body I was punishing it for not living up to some impossible beauty standard that was set by society it was only when I started to see my body as a gift that allowed me to do the things that I love as a mother as a wife daughter sister friend that's when I started really respecting it and appreciating it not for the way it looks but for who it allowed me to be love and acceptance was also what got me through this past year with my struggles with anxiety and depression after an incident where my efforts to support and advocate for my son's ADHD at his school was twisted into an ugly story and a shaming accusation of child abuse and neglect by his school and I was reported to Child Protective Services you can imagine as a mom how that feels while I was alternately cleared for this misunderstanding the emotional damage was done and it went beyond just a single incident as years of unprocessed emotions and stress from being thrust into the role of a caregiver at such a young age also started to surface and I completely unravel this year I was fighting an internal war with myself trying to fight these expectations of perfection keeping it together being strong for everyone that even as it was killing me on the inside until I worked with a therapist to help me unpack all of the layers underneath that exterior that I was trying to show everyone else you know I'm not the only one according to the World Health Organization women are nearly two times more likely than men to develop anxiety and depression and it's linked to things like social stressors gender roles and our tendency to internalize how we feel for myself it was accepting that it is okay to not be okay that I finally started to move away from the narrative of I am never enough to I am good enough and it finally allowed me to see that my vulnerabilities and what they what my vulnerabilities truly were not as weaknesses but as brené Brown so beautifully says our greatest measure of courage I'm standing here today not as a scientist who wants to give you a strategy or a plan to live a healthier life I'm just a person who has learned that a life well-lived is to recognize your humanity because nothing lasts forever no matter how much you want to try to control the outcome and that ultimate superhuman fantasy they all meet the same fate because no one is immortal now that's not to say that you shouldn't be taking care of your body or you know setting health goals please do that but what I really want to emphasize to you is that your life is measured far beyond the way you look to others how long you live and how physically while you are during those years because life is a beautiful color should've experiences that give meaning to your time here it's about how you choose to show up for yourself and others and how you work through the circumstances that are presented to you to this day my mom is still in a wheelchair she never fully recovered from what happened to her 25 years ago and though she worked hard to gain back the mobility she did get back it wasn't an easy path for her and though she didn't have that full physical recovery that's more often celebrated as superhuman she was she had risked her life to give life so however you want to live wherever you're starting off from whatever lifestyle you choose I just want you to know that you can be healthy and happy in a way that is true for you as long as you do these three things number one be loving and kind to your body no matter what it looks like is there for you every moment that you are alive work hard to respect it not punish it because it will be here for as long as you are to check in with yourself don't just keep numbing yourself with more actions and distractions really check in and ask yourself what void am I trying to fill or what am I trying to avoid hearing that's really hurting on the inside and don't forget to check in on your loved ones too because when you start sharing stories you realize you were never alone in a dark and lastly be grateful for the life you have in front of you right now it can be taken away from you in an instant the present is all you really have so loved it hard you know when I think back I remember how certain I was that I would seek the truth about life through science but what I learned along the way was a far more valuable lesson that to be alive is to be resilience no matter what life throws your way and that's what it truly means to be superhuman thank you you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 351,991

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Health, Body, Communication, Marketing, Personal growth, Self improvement

Id: ayOcpnBtJCE

Length: 17min 42sec (1062 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 26 2020