Transcriber: Vivian Lim
Reviewer: David DeRuwe When I was 10 years old,
things started shifting between my parents and not for the better. One day, they called a family meeting. We had never had a family meeting before. They sat my two younger
sisters and I down, and they told us that we’d be moving from our little log cabin
in northern British Columbia, Canada to the southern part of the province. And that they would be divorcing. Of course, my sisters
and I were devastated. The entire world that I knew
was crumbling apart, and yet this was not the worst part. You see, my father, Peter,
had always been this happy-go-lucky guy. The divorce was extremely hard on him, and he was becoming
more and more withdrawn. He was less engaged
with my sisters and I, he had less energy, and I barely recognized him anymore. I remember thinking to myself, “Is this my new dad?” One day I woke up at his house,
and my sisters were still sleeping, and I could hear music playing downstairs, which was very unusual. As I came downstairs, I could smell
fresh orange juice and bacon, and there was my dad, Peter, (Laughter) dancing and making pancakes. I said, “Good morning, Dad.” “Good morning, Tia.” (Laughter) I said, “Wow Dad,
you seem really happy today. Are you happy because it’s your birthday?” “You know, Tia, I have had three
of the worst years of my entire life, and I woke up this morning,
and I thought to myself, ‘I’m not going to have another bad year.’” I saw my dad choose happiness. So what did he do exactly? He started doing things
that he enjoyed doing. So he played upbeat music all the time. (Laughter) He went back to school
and changed careers. He exercised outside,
spent time with his horses, and he spent a lot of time
with his friends. I learned as a young teenager
that happiness is a choice, and it’s something that you do. And this lesson impacted my entire life. However, at age 18 and 19, I was really struggling,
and I was not happy. I had dropped out of university
after one semester, and I was partying way too much. I knew that there had to be more to life, and I knew that I had
to choose happiness for myself. This decision took me
from living in Calgary, Alberta, to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina,
where I worked with children one summer. I am so grateful that I chose Hilton Head because it exposed me to the travel
and hospitality industries. This experience led me to a 15-year career in the hospitality industry that I was passionate about
and successful in. I led sales and marketing teams in Hawaii, New York City, Istanbul, and Los Angeles. Remember, I’m from a little log cabin
in northern Canada. A happy life is not about
feeling happy all the time. This is a huge misconception. A happy life has more positive than pain. We all have pain. A happy life has meaning and purpose, and a happy life has different experiences that make you psychologically rich. You think happiness comes from meeting
other people and society’s expectations, but really, it comes
from creating your own. Here is the simple secret
of being happier: Spend time doing things
you really enjoy doing. Society tells us what happiness is, what happiness looks like, but what really matters is how you feel. So many people struggle with happiness. I struggle. You struggle. Whether it’s kids, work, finances, politics, non-stop technology,
social media, family, or the never-ending 24/7
negative news cycle. (Laughter) I personally struggle to feed my family three times a day, seven days a week, every single week. (Laughter) I am not a good cook,
and I don’t like cooking. Obviously, I would never
make it on Top Chef. Bottom Chef called and said,
“Don’t even bother.” (Laughter) Here’s just a few stats: Gallup’s research showed that 79% of people, globally,
are disengaged while they’re working. That’s almost 80% of people. Many people are doing work
that they don’t like or that’s not meaningful to them. Also, according to Gallup's
global research, 41% of people have a lot of stress
and worry on a regular basis. The World Health Organization said one
in four are not getting enough exercise, and the term “work-life balance” has over 2.8 billion
search results on Google. And your brain, my brain, all of our brains have a negativity bias, which is really unfortunate. We have to work extra hard
to be positive and optimistic. I’m going to share with you four things that many people really enjoy doing. I’m going to connect them
to the science of happiness. And I want you to think
about these for yourself. Happiness choice number one - Spend a lot of quality time
with your friends and your family. For me, this looks like
weekly date nights with my husband, playing with my daughters
every single day with my phone away, and FaceTiming and calling my sisters
multiple times a week. For you, it might be spending
a lot of time with your friends. For you, it might be spending
a lot of time with your parents. The Harvard Grant Study of Adult
Development, an over-80-year study, proved that our relationships
and how happy we are in our relationships directly affect our health
and our happiness. Human connection is
the number one predictor of happiness. When I became a parent, I knew
that I needed more family time. And then last Thursday, I was like,
“How much can I get for my kids on eBay?” All the parents, yes, you relate. Happiness choice number two
is getting a good night’s sleep. This means sleeping
seven to nine hours a night, every single night. Research shows that sleep
increases our happiness, improves our brain functioning, and improves our overall quality of life. So even though
those streaming shows are so good (Laughter) or even though you could stay up just one
more hour, just answer a few more emails, go to bed and leave your phone in the kitchen. (Applause) How do you treat your spouse
or your partner when you’re really
sleep-deprived, maybe stressed? (Laughter) Right? We take it out on the people
that love us the most. That’s who gets it. Happiness choice number three - Moving at least four times a week. Exercise increases our happiness, increases our brain functioning,
and decreases stress and anxiety. Do not exercise to look good; exercise to be happier. And I know you’re busy. You don’t need to do
an hour workout class. Even if you move 15, 20 minutes,
you will get the benefit. Happiness choice number four
is do work that you like, that is meaningful to you. Research shows that meaningful work
makes us happier and way more motivated while we’re working and makes us happier in our personal life. And if you don’t have
the opportunity right now to change jobs or change careers, just spend more time helping people, and your work will be more meaningful. There are many other happiness choices,
such as spending time in nature, meditating, volunteering, journaling
when you’re going through pain. It's about you. When you spend your time
doing things you really enjoy doing, you operate at a higher level. Happy people are more productive
while they’re working. A recent Oxford-MIT study
of over 6000 people proved that people who felt happy while they’re working
are 13% more productive. That means you work faster,
and you work smarter. And happy people are more successful. Dr. Martin Seligman, the father
of positive psychology, and many others studied close to a million
people over five years. And the research showed that people
who are happy while they’re working were four times more likely
to receive an accolade, four times more likely
to receive a promotion. So it directly connects
to your career success. Healthy people are
healthier and live longer. So on one extreme,
there’s being really selfish, only caring about yourself. On the other extreme, there’s doing what everyone else
and what society expects of you. The simple secret is to spend your time
doing what you really enjoy doing, so that you’re happier,
more successful, and you will take care of everyone
you care about at a higher level. What you enjoy doing may change over time, like when my dad found himself single
or when you become a parent, for example. Reflect and take new action. We all have different
set points of happiness based on our genetics
and our life circumstances. But everyone can
make it better for themselves. In the recent article titled
“Can Happiness Be Successfully Pursued?”, the researchers write,
it takes both a will and a proper way to become happier. I invite you to prioritize your happiness and spend your time doing things
that you really enjoy doing. Imagine what that would do for your life. Imagine if all parents
prioritized their happiness and set this example for their children. Imagine if all leaders
prioritized their happiness and set this example for their teams. Think about you, all the parents and their children, all the leaders and their teams, now taking this renewed energy and using it to serve others
and our planet. What kind of world would that look like? Thank you. (Applause)
