Caroline Myss - Women's Wellness Conference

[Music] [Applause] i mean talk about a welcome wow thank you i haven't done anything yet and i and i and i haven't said anything but i well thank you so much what a lovely group thank you and i was uh you know getting hooked up and back in the corner and i'm watching this beautiful yoga and and and and of course you're stretching for me vicariously i'm like stretch more because i would i wanted so much to join into that but oh well you know and i have this so i don't walk off with it did you see this i've never used a powerpoint in my life but i i've never used this ever in my life i always draw this way you know i'm kind of like from the dinosaur era you know and and so i might not give this back but i i needed a i needed a board you know i need to write my notes and i i i just so now i'm at that stage where i have so much to say that it's hard for me to kind of squish it in a small amount of time and there's so much to share with you so i thought i would start by giving you an image now that i have my board the gentleman in the back these wonderful guys i don't need them anymore but i asked them to draw their drawing of this is much better than mine you but i like mine i like to give you an overview um you know my background i'm sure many of you know that i'm medical intuitive but probably a lot of you don't know that my evocation is military history and theology and that i have studied the two my degrees in graduate work has been in classical mysticism and the other field is military history so i've studied war on many fronts and believe it or not the study of history has been as much an asset to me as the study of theology and as my craft as a writer which is journalism because i don't know any human being who has not been at war with themselves with a family member with their soul with their mind with their body you strategize as a private or you strategize as a general you think war your body goes to war your mind goes to war we will always be at war and so for me the nature of the polarities of war and peace of good and evil of body and soul of the way we are these two lenses for me have been the most useful they're the right and the left hand every nation on this planet has been shaped as the result of war we are once again doing this and who you are today where we are in the world today is being shaped once again by wars once again we are being shaped by wars and you can say for example that you don't want to listen to the news because you don't like it it's negative however you cannot participate in anything that deals with your health and be so naive as to believe that you exist separate from the psychic free radicals that are generated by the collective field that is your earth so either you pay attention to this or you decide to retreat into a primal state of mind and go eat a cheeseburger you cannot cherry pick your consciousness do you understand me it's time to grow up and face the fact that you are the architects and the engines of every single event you are as much a creator of every event on this planet whether you live in a war zone or not and you are as much a part of the solution now as someone who has dealt with health and healing for years as well as the nature of the soul as well as the nature of consciousness i know that there are my work has progressed over the decades over the decades from beginning with when i first started out you know i i had a very interesting conversation with a young pup in the field who's brand new in the field of in a what i would call an energy occupation an intuitive occupation and when i was starting out and i say starting out it's such a funny thing to say because you know way back it said way back well last century when i began yes right i mean but i i want i would i just want to position something um when my skill kind of bubbled up i never there was nobody else doing anything that's number one number two god built me in a very interesting way and that he never i was never i never had an appetite for my genius but i had a ferocious appetite for something i have no talent for and that's true what a blessing what a blessing third i was educated by nuns and jesuits what a ferocious blessing what a ferocious blessing because i never had to search for god i never had to say well is there anything out there i never had to kind of wonder was there anything out there i would have gotten slapped if i asked that question are you nuts you know okay and i my college was a convent still is and the founders was just recently made the eighth american saint because healings are are now credited to her say what you will it happens period and if this was a lecture on miracles and saints and healings you would stay here all night because i have so many goodies to tell you because that is the way it is and there isn't one human being i have ever met who does not want to hear god call them by name not one so this time we are living in you have to understand the unusual nature of this time and your participation in it for one thing it is a privilege to be alive now it is a privilege this is a time that will shape the era to come but it is a time when you have to really grasp but when i was with this young man let me finish this he asked i noticed something about him and that's that his intuitive capacities were very authentic and i was very impressed with him and i'm not often impressed that's the skeptic in me but it's also the wise woman and i s and he asked me how i developed my skill and i thought what an interesting question and i said i lived in the mountains of new hampshire for 10 years without a television without the curse of facebook without the curse of being so addicted to electronics that i couldn't breathe without hitting this thing you call your phone it didn't exist then i didn't have to check in with everybody because i was so terrified to miss an email because it didn't exist i was simply alone in a world where my skill never existed i said you are ruthlessly insecure you cannot not be connected to what i said you have to check in with everything because you're so afraid to be out of the loop of what i said you're ruthlessly competitive i said i had no one to compete with i said and further i never even heard of what i could do so i didn't even know of its what it could do it didn't matter to me it didn't make any difference i was a stranger in a strange land the only reason i did anything was because i met a physician named norm shealy who said work with me and i never even saw him half the time he was in springfield missouri and i'm in a little eight town of 800 people in walpole new hampshire i did eight readings a day for six and a half years and i never took a vacation christmas i never saw that was how my life was i don't know anybody who would do that now i don't know anybody it was a very rigorous task it was a very rigorous task with my only way to sensitive and in those years i operated from a principal and then i'll get off me because i'm as boring as they come but i but the the point is here that i operated from the idea that we created our illness because that's when i walked into the holistic age there was a thought form that i encountered when i walked in that said we created our illness and illness was created by negativity and negative thought so i bought into that i thought well that's interesting and i'm and i actually would attend these lectures and people would say stand up and say i know i created this and i can uncreate it and i would and and one lecture this man and people said good for you and i thought what are you applauding what the heck are you applauding what are they applauding well you know i got really good at the doing these readings and i got good at it because i was alone not because i was with people but because i had the skill where norm would call me from his office in springfield missouri and he'd say have a patient here and here's the name and age and i would do a reading i always needed the patient's permission and then um i'd go back to work i was a publisher and i'd go back to editing a magazine a manuscript i wasn't i didn't i i didn't have this sort of horrible was i good was i good did you give him my card it was oh god i was god spared me that horribleness of that kind of thing and by the time i got really really good i was asking significant questions like i don't why why are people applauding themselves for getting something i don't get that i'm a little confused here and eventually i thought why why do people think that negativity is the result of this is all negative because it seems to me that they introduced this language which is there must be a lesson here and then i watch the emergence of this idea that if there's a lesson i just have to learn the lesson and it'll all go away like see daddy daddy this off-planet god will reward me because i've learned the lesson and all will be well most often i've seen that fail completely because there's absolutely no truth to it whatsoever it is a myth it's like a child's story we cling to there's no truth to it at all but we do this eventually my readings got more sophisticated because i asked more sophisticated questions like how come people don't want to heal what's this game i see people playing what's this game i see as i got to understand human nature a little bit more so i'm going to present you with this image and this is an image i'd like you as simple as it is it's going to be one of the most useful things you're ever going to use and that's that cut your build this is a building and you live in this building and the building will never move no buildings move but all the movement is inside the building and like any building like any high-rise every floor is a different view of reality so someone living in the penthouse can see the mountains and can see the ocean but if you're on the first floor they'll tell you i don't live near any mountains or ocean i've never seen mountains or ocean what are you talking about but someone in the penthouse says what are you talking about i have a crystal blue sky and mountains and ocean and i don't hear any sounds it's quiet as everything it's peaceful it's tranquil there's no pollution up here same address what is true is every time you ascend in a building in your building it's more expensive as you go up every floor is more expensive it costs you more you have to work harder to get up on the floor every floor is more expensive and every view changes the exact scene that you've always been living yet just that you had no idea that you were also living around this because you couldn't see that but it's always been there it's just you never saw it except sometimes you'll get to a floor and you'll say i don't want to go this high i don't want to see that much i i just can't when i was in england giving a lecture this man did did a favor in that he explained something to me i mean he said something to the group he said i know i've reached a point where i really understand the role forgiveness has for me i know that in order for me to that forgiveness is everything it's it's cracked up to be but i don't want to understand any more of it because i am living with people that require that in order for me to survive i need to be to have my anger i need my anger i need to i can't be more forgiving than them because i won't be able to survive because they will interpret my forgiveness as my being weak and they will take advantage of me and i can't i can't have that i have to let them catch up they said so i can't hear any more of what you have to say because it makes sense to me and i can't stand that it makes sense i have to leave and he got up and he walked out of my lecture crying isn't that amazing okay that's what it it's like to get up to a certain point in your own building where you realize i can't bear to go any higher because i won't be able to to live just to i i can't i just can't go any higher because what the view that i have i won't be able to share it with the people in the other floor and i'm not sure i can go on here and there are other people who feel the same way it's not just about you do you understand what i'm saying here now i want to go back to when i explain something about the times we're living in on the first floor um the first floor is a floor when people live on the first floor everything is literal for people living on the first floor everything is literal things are exactly this is creationism everything is exactly the way they think it is everything you take everything literally people living on the first floor cannot they'll never get that your attitude has power they'll never get there what has what they're the people that go to a doctor and they say you fix it you fix it just give me medicine you fix it in this when people when your your attitude on the first floor is that you did it i did nothing in the first floor when you're in the first floor your perception is that everybody else and everything else has power but you so one of the most important words that you have to understand about life and about health and about the way you operate in life is that power is the fundamental ingredient of the human experience everything is about a negotiation of power where you sit what you wear what you eat how you think who you date who you marry where you live what car you buy what what what what purse you have every single thing is a negotiation of power everything whether or not something makes you feel powerless whether or not someone makes you feel powerless who you will never talk to again you won't talk to because they did something that made you feel powerless they may they caused an act of hemorrhaging you avoid people that you don't feel equal to in power it's all about power power is the fundamental main ingredient of the human experience when i do a reading and this is what it looks like when i do a reading on someone here you are there you are that's you okay and you have energy prana coming in now someone in the first floor would not real they could listen to this but they wouldn't quote get it they wouldn't get it in a way where they would be able to recognize i'm now losing my power to someone one of the most important things jewels you could leave here with today is to recognize when and how you start losing your power to anything anyone anywhere at any time and your capacity to say just a second and stop your hemorrhage stop your hemorrhage plug up your hole that's one of the most effective ways you prevent something something from eventually becoming an illness in you and and and not just an illness from you eventually becoming and ending up in a situation in which you become psychically emotionally powerless in which you find yourself feeling that i can't make a decision anymore i can't seem to make a decision i can't seem to come to clarity i can't seem to i'm losing myself i'm losing my focus the more you puncture yourself and develop anchors now i'll give you the formula for every anchor you have it is psychic weight w-e-i-g-h-t the more weight you have the longer you have to wait for everything so psychic weight equals how you create your relationship to time the more anchors i see in someone the longer i know the more time it will take for them to heal anything the more time it will take for them to create anything the more time it will require for them the less likely they are to have synchronistic experiences because they have too much psychic weight they're just too weighted down they may say to me i need this i have this vision i want this to happen i'm envisioning this i'm envisioning that and all i have to do is sense how many anchors they have and i know they won't be able to pull it off that the laws of the universe are will move too slowly because they're too there's too much lead in their system they've just got too much and they won't be able to operate that fast they won't be able to heal fast so when a doctor i'll use this when you go to the doctor and the doctor says here take this medicine it says take it for six weeks translated you'll be sick for six weeks it says so right here see they re right am i right says so right there take it from the trust your doctor okay trust the label it says you'll be sick for six weeks but that's the amount of time people who operate in timelessness don't have a lot of anchors they just don't have a lot of anchors so time doesn't apply to them in the same way it just it just moves faster so that when they decide i need to heal this they're not as weighted down and it goes into physical form it's all these are also the individuals who are more likely to heal more advanced or serious illnesses if someone has more anchors to them they are less likely and this is actually just energy logic to be able to heal illnesses that are advanced such as advanced cancers or leukemias illnesses that would fall under what we would be considered what would be considered terminal or advanced or incurable or blah blah blah blah words that they apply to illnesses that now follow me quite frankly simply are the result of too much anchors too many anchors those who have these remarkable experiences of and the and the illness is gone are actually people who manage to get the time out of the illness they cut the history they cut their anchors and they get into present time now let's go here i am you're following me because it's so ridiculously obvious okay this is mystical physics okay stick with the mystics all right now back to your building and the lower level this is the level that's really and i'll go into it a little bit more in a minute but in the lower level of the building these are the floors where people like to hang because it's just a familiar zone it's not too risky things you kind of know the real estate it's not too expensive the rent you know and when you look out the window you see just far enough to where it's controllable and nothing that much challenges your reality now i'm going to hit when you go up a little farther so this is where you view your your external world when you get here you start looking to your internal world and up here becomes the mystical world so this is the physical world this is where you start getting interested in your energy and then this is the world of grace and it's not until you get into the world of grace that you actually enter the domain of miracles and healing where you actually when you work with energy the only thing you get to do is feel better but you don't get to heal because energy is incapable of healing so let's be really clear here all you can do with energy is temporary fixes but it's not capable of when you work with energy and energy healing unless you involve the sacred unless you actually involve and and actually cross over into the world of grace into the arena of grace into the holy you won't change the course of a terminal illness it's not going to happen i say that now i'm going to speak like teresa of avila my experience is that it hasn't happened and i will also say i cannot speak for the will of god anything can happen and i haven't seen it happen both are true and i will present it that way to you anything can happen but i haven't seen it happen my experience is that when it comes to energy we speak energy fluently and we have chosen to do that because it there is no accountability to energy nothing it is not sacred it is not holy it doesn't require us to have an inner practice to handle it there is nothing to it it's not more than turning off a light oh look your energy big deal you have to be ordained to handle grace you need a devotion to handle grace it is not a mental thing it is a holy thing it is a calling as opposed to an occupation it is much greater than is much greater than and most people stop here they won't go there because it is a calling there's a calling and you can't say i've called i've knocked at the door you are called to their place but part of it is what you are willing how you prepare yourself in the process you know my experience is it's so ironic we think of ourselves as in the consciousness world but not in the sacred world do you understand what i'm saying we see ourselves as very conscious of what can i ask you of what what are we conscious of i can't figure it out what are we conscious of our world's going to hell in a handbasket what have we become so conscious of probably of how bad the world is but we should have caught that a lot earlier we should have caught it a lot earlier so let me add another drawing here what you what are the things that i think you want to know in this absolutely extraordinary era well what makes this time so incredible first of all the nuclear generation we are the nuclear generation and this is what is so when we enter the nuclear generation when we slipped into that time um these are just the little points i want to just hit on because they affect you they have formed you they affect why your psyche is as it is they affect your mood swings they affect these are the ingredients in health that go uncharted and they need to be charted these are what you might think of as the new models of these are the parts of us that have been drugged and they must never be drugged again because we haven't been we haven't been astute enough to recognize where this suffering comes from when we crossed over into the nuclear age in the ex in the manhattan project when we entered that when when the atom was split when the bomb went off now this is this is the penthouse and i want you all in this penthouse and what that means is i want all of you to get into a wild state of imagination as i talk to you about this and what that means is i want you to imagine you're zipping out of your body because this is soul territory i want you to imagine you are not who you are you do not have a body you don't have a name you aren't an american you aren't a druid you aren't anything you're not an agnostic you're not an atheist you're not anything you're just a floater you're not attached to something you don't have this adoration for your intellect that you think is so fantastic that you think you're so brilliant that the whole universe fits into your intellect okay i want to remind you the size of your intellect and the size of the universe okay or as or as yahweh said to job where were you when i laid the foundations of this universe i don't remember seeing you know your place know your place human now i want you to just get way way way up here so that all you're interested in is listening just listening just listening stay up here now we split when an atom was split just imagine the earth is the size of the atom and that all life shifted into energy consciousness in that second not just this little experiment but the whole of creation went into energy consciousness while we slept that just like a um what's that thing called hourglass it's as if the hourglass flipped over and the way humanity thought which was energy had no thought form at all prior to that time nobody thought that energy preceded matter nobody thought thoughts had power all of a sudden by the time they woke up we were in this atmosphere where from that point on from that point on that point on it was as if in the middle of the night prometheus had once again stolen the fire from zeus the nuclear fire and come down to earth stolen the fire and from that point on the history of our planet has been written by who has the fire what country has the fire who has the fire do the terrorists have the fire does korea have the fire does india does pakistan who has the fire from that point on and the significance of that is this in your first chakra your second chakra your third chakra ever since we began his life our two fundamental circuits our two fundamental wheels is are the wheels to create and the wheel to survive this forms us as human beings this is critical to our immune system this is critical to our psyche and critical to our soul that we will always get up and think i'm gonna dust this off and and we'll just get up and start again we'll just get up and start again we'll just get up and start again we'll just we could feel it well next time we'll create the wheel next time it'll be the printing press next time this we'll just be we'll just do it again we're the only generations since entering the nuclear war that aren't sure there'll be another generation we're it and we've gotten used to that but our health has not we've gotten used to it but the collective psyche has not and the and and what we feel is that every day we feel something coming every day we feel i don't know it's something there's a collective feeling like i don't know if we'll be here i don't know i don't know i don't know for the first time in the history of humanity we have this sense the sense of our own temporariness for the first time we have lived under this so often that we've so long we've adapted to it we've adapted to it and it's become part of the stress of our health it's become part of the stress of our psychic weight believe it or not at the same time part of the reason for example you would be motivated let me say the other side of it is that part of the reason a major part of the reason so many of you if not all of you are drawn out of the world that you your parents were in is that there is a need to build the world from the inside out from up here and to create a very different world based on the energy capacity of the human being what we need to recognize now is that we are multi-sensory that we have far more than five senses but that we are in fact 10 senses 10 levels 10 chakras at least that there is a base of 10 operating chakras within us and around us that we have we are actually in a hologram that part of us exists in physical time and part of us in hologram time that our immune system is tied to intuitive intelligence spiritual intelligence psychic intelligence and intellectual intelligence that we in fact pick up we have got to start re organize i mean creating a template for health that measures and determines our sense of diagnosis and diagnostics to include where we are hemorrhaging our power and in the subtleties of that because i assure you this is as significant as virus as blood as your dna i assure you of that that someone could give you a vaccine but if you are hemorrhaging your power the vaccine won't won't re it won't retrieve you it won't pull your life back it won't make you feel vital again if in fact you're losing your power to something if in fact and it depends each one of these levels has a language that i urge you to consider re-introducing and using and recognizing every level of life of our consciousness has a vocabulary that is worthy of um that actually our energy system needs in the physical we have to speak about the anatomy system we have to talk about the body we we have to talk about food we have to talk about nutrition it all has to be recognized we have to do yoga we have to do what is required of the physical body and in this and in this in the physical you have to understand exactly what power systems drain you and why you must understand that you have to understand where what causes you to lose power what causes you to engage in a power play you have to you have to know that in your first chakra this is your tribal bank account your first what do you what is what does the body require for balance the first chakra is the tribal rootedness human beings need to be rooted in something if you are not rooted in something you will feel a lack of balance you just will that is how we are wired that's how the tree of life is wired that's how the chakra system is wired that's how the the the the sacraments are that's what a sense of baptism is you need to be rooted human beings do not thrive without community we need community and that's part of the first chalk chakra you need to find your own place among people that matter and that is a vital part believe it or not of health and that is part of the collective immune system and you know when you one of the reasons we need community is for accountability we need a group of people to hold us accountable to whom we not have to report but to whom we know our behavior matters even in our heart even in our heart we we we know look i it matters to me that i am a part of them and i don't want to disappoint them a collective to whom we hold ourselves accountable it's important and that's very much the first chakra and to not feel that you matter to others is is is will cause you to hemorrhage you know when you when you think about like why you're not feeling well it's not enough to think where what happened where did i go wrong or what's something negative stop thinking that way you have to think about what where you are powerless what's missing where you're not anchored you have to think more along the lines of you know am i do i feel connected do i feel am i missing am i making choices that are actually the kind of choices that i need to make at this age in my life they may have been good choices for me five years ago 10 years ago but are they good choices for me now because as you age things change your second chakra very much has to do with your finances your sexuality your your your uh power your sense of power in the world it's your fight or flight area it's your sense of safety your survival issues and this is where you fall into conflict very often with what your ideal self is and what your cravings are so here i'm going to position you and say you know what are your cravings and that's the word i would give you what are your cravings what do you crave and again i'm going to refer you to this and say to you that a craving is not rational a craving is not rational and sometimes you know in a smaller group it's it's very frequent that someone would say well i crave chocolate and i'm like oh stop it you know but i it's worth chatting about this because i've seen people lose their lives over this cravings can be very very very they come in all forms and all packages on all sides you can crave one of the cravings human beings have because we're so we're so interesting is secrets a lot of people crave secrets they like to be part of secrets or they need secrets to really feel abuzz this is an interesting thing about good and evil here's the theology person in me good doesn't have a buzz to it but evil does evil sexy it's sensual it's a turn-on it's um erotic and good is none of those things so it's very difficult for good to compete with evil good usually cleans up after the mass evil makes people do not trust goodness because it doesn't they're not sure what the outcome will be when they do good they trust darkness because there's more control over it if you if and i have to thank you for your light truth there um this is a great big huge thing i'm sharing with you and something when one of the reasons people do not heal is because they don't admit this i've never had anyone come into a workshop and say i'm a compulsive liar never i've never had anyone come in and say i don't tell the truth ever i crave this i'm a i i just uh never keep my word i have no integrity it's always about someone else i never have anyone come in and say i am so filled with vengeance and all i do is think about how i want to get even and i'm jealous as the day is long and how are you but never it's always about someone else it's always about someone else and this is this is this area of your body and people do not get you do not get that i don't care how many visualizations you do and all your your exercise and all your food do you actually think that that stuff compensates for that kind of nature and i'll tell you what else we did very clever very very foolish foolish foolish as we tossed out the vocabulary of the soul we threw it out and we said oh conscience what an awful word let's get rid of this and let's use consciousness there's a useless word there's an empty master choline noodle it doesn't mean anything i'm getting in touch with my consciousness what does that mean i don't know i'll go to a spa i'll go because it's all about me it's all about me i think i'll go get a i think i'll go get a cleanse and i'll get a facial because it makes me conscious makes me conscious and i'll go get a massage and it makes me conscious of what me don't talk to me like that so negative what it upsets my me it's me time don't call i'm getting into consciousness i have to process me and there's absolutely no sense of conscience attached to consciousness none zero you can do whatever you want i was thinking about being conscious and so i needed to walk about and i left my family because that's what my consciousness said i could do is there anything right or wrong there no because i i heard it on the inner my inner self told me you're what my inner self your what why don't you just say you wanted to do it and stop bsing me it [Applause] this hybrid that you've created the inner self the hybrid ego that we created because we don't know how to tell the truth anymore my inner self says what exactly what does it say it says but this is how i really feel because you're so used to lying so you have to have an inner self to say what you really feel getting back to it you want me for your spiritual director the best you'll ever get because i cut through it like a knife this is the result of getting rid of the vocabulary of the soul this is what happens because we so we could be conscious but it let us off the hook and you know how we have all this trouble forgiving how many of you are still dealing with forgiving and forgiving and forgetting forgiving oh yeah put your hands up right good okay so i'm gonna help you out here i want you because this is a second chakra and how many of you really think like i'd really the real reason the real reason is because i want to hurt that person for hurting me put your hands up come on up up up up up up up up up up up up up that's it okay i'll tell you what the truth is i want you to picture the person who hurt you and let's substitute language now let's call things what they are because some people have done really heinous things to other people and sometimes saying whoa am i sorry wow poof stole your business jeez louise what a boo-boo bummer man okay now let's use the right language if that person came up to you and said um i need to tell you that i knowingly sinned against you i sinned i consciously and of my own will did what i did i knew it would hurt you and it didn't stop me i sinned from my soul to yours and i'm asking forgiveness now what would you do what would you do call it what it is and if someone came up to you and actually said it's a sin what i did i knew it would destroy you and it didn't stop me that's a sin call it what it is and you'd let them go because if you can't forgive someone who can do that then you have a darkness in you that you need to repair but when someone stands in confession in front of you you have to give forgiveness absolution do you understand we dismantled the vocabulary we need we need this vocabulary in order to heal the wounds of the weapons we have we need the language of our soul i told you it's not enough to just chat it through i gotta talk through this again again am i going to listen to this again jesus go put your head in the toilet for seven minutes i just can't i can't do this again i can't and nobody wants to listen to you again i'll be the messenger shut up what is required is this and here's the thing every time you keep your history alive there gets to a point where you hurt yourself and believe me there are many people that perhaps require a confession from you confession i'm just going to hit a pause button and tell a story because sometimes it's time for a story and now it is um eventually in my work um i had an extraordinary thing happen and i had um an um i heard the voice of teresa of avila i think probably a lot of you know that's maybe you do maybe you don't do you know that part of my life yes no is that important for you to hear okay very brief because it leads to padre pio and confession but it changed my life everything changed and it brought me into this mystical path it made me even more bold so when i say things like that's the way it is um i wondered about i wondered how people uh were affected by people doing acts of of service for each other and i sent out an email on my website and in one in one week i got like 12 1300 responses from people you know this person did this for me this person did that i only expected to get 150 or 200 and i read them all i read them all and i thought i would compile them into a book which eventually became invisible acts of power now number one i read all these letters all these stories of people saying this person did this or this person did that and it was and i thought oh my god but some were long some were short some were unbelievable some were more unbelievable some were so touching some were this but they were they all had something in them and i thought these things are still alive they were like pulsing these people couldn't wait to share and they were still their lives were still being affected and now my life was being affected by these wonderful wonderful acts of of of really gifts of love and then i thought i got to compile this into a book and then i thought i'm going to mix these chapters with teachings from the scripture because this is exactly like what god said no matter whether i read the bhagavad gita or the uh the the the old testament the new testament the whatever this is just how heaven said i will be there i will do this i will do this i mean i was like this is no kid man you are good that means just like i mean call the angels bam boom boom boom you're here you're there like wow okay just like the nuns told me it's true it's true okay so um so then i would go to my office which is of course in my house and i found myself looking up scriptures to go in between as i organized the chapters it like this one in between these letters and i would spend hours reading like sacred literature and this that and i couldn't wait to get to work i mean get work i couldn't wait to go into my office and just read oh man i was just nose diving again into uh holy sacred literature it would and i turned off my sound my phones and this and that all day i'd light a candle and i would just and then one day i thought oh no uh oh this feels too good jesus am i in trouble yeah and i thought oh no oh no no no no no this is not good it feels too good this is not good and i thought you've you did it you got me oh damn and so it you don't get like the paradox of when something feels so good it's dangerous and i thought oh no and boom i had a grand mal seizure the light just went i said this feels too good oh no and i was out and anyway the long and short of it is i knew that my wiring was getting tampered with and i thought and it was classic to a mystics experience a few months later i was teaching just like this on a bar stool exactly like this and i was going to teach on ignatius loyola john of the cross teresa of avila i was going to teach john of the cross first who i was familiar with and teresa of avila's book uh the interior castle i barely i had just glanced over for that workshop on her seven mansions of the soul i was not familiar with it just glanced enough and then i was going to go to ignatius loyola where i was very familiar with so john and ignatius were were flanking teresa that i didn't know much of i accidentally grabbed uh interior castle i thought what the difference does it make i could i could talk about that for an hour i get on the bench just like this i get my audience there and all of a sudden i feel this shell of silence go around me like the coming of another grand mal seizure and i i grabbed the table and i thought oh no no no no not here oh god not here i'm gonna break my neck and not hear oh god not here and of course everyone in the audience saw me freeze and then i heard a voice and it said follow me daughter i instantly instantly i knew it was her i i knew it was her i just knew and i in you when i say here it's not in your here it's a you know it's as hard probably to describe that i i asked my sisters in law when they were pregnant what's it like when you feel the baby moving they always say it's like a flutter or a feather but you can't i don't know i've never been pregnant so i don't know but if you could imagine a feather in your heart talking to you and you absolutely know it's not your voice and i said please don't let them see that we haven't met and instantly i knew her work as if i had been a scholar i simply knew i spent the rest of that weekend teaching teresa of avila as if i'd done a doctorate on her i had a book and off i went as if i'd done a phd on the work of teresa of avila boom off i went even i couldn't get over i was listening to my own lecture i was when the when the weekend was over i went home i went straight up to my office i'd been working on another book i deleted everything threw it out every note everything called up my editor the next morning and i said i am going to be writing a book with uh teresa of avila i mean sort of a bowder but not really but under the guidance the grace under the grace of teresa of avila my new york editor i could have lost everything i had i risked everything i didn't have the money to pay back that contract i would have lost i would have had to sell everything i would have she said tell her you got five months that day i got a um letter opened it up and there was a book marker which i've since laminated and the front of it i flipped it over i didn't recognize the handwriting i flipped it over and it was a book marker and it said it was from a carmelite convent out of the clear blue and i thought wow teresa is a carmelite but i flipped it over and on the front it said let nothing disturb you with god all things are possible teresa of avila i said my girl now um from that point on my life took a different path and it went straight into mysticism straight straight into the mystical world the mystical laws the mystical realm the mystical nature of god there we go and into what is healing what is the soul everything i mean i dropped everything else and off i went and into what can i teach you about this and i will tell you first off right off i think religion's a costume party so i'll just throw that off on the side yes stop it i don't want to pause stop it stop it stop it we don't have time for that we have time for this we are in what matters to you is there a god yes what is the power of your soul what does your soul need um what is the power of prayer what what what do you need to do to be a high functioning conscious human being what is it you you know my experience with people is that you're more certain of what you don't believe than what you do believe and i don't get why that is what's wrong what's what are you looking for that it's so difficult what do you think you're supposed to pull out of rabbits out of hats about beliefs what are you looking for a belief that's magic that's going to make your life safe what are you looking for what are you looking for what are you looking to believe in i don't get it i don't get it and then i finally realized that we don't most people don't know how to believe anything anymore you don't know how to believe anything anymore and i'm not quite sure what it is if you even are looking for something spiritual in your life we've become so accustomed to thinking that having something spiritual is being catholic or being religious or and it's not anything to do with that at all at all but the price we have paid for throwing the baby out with the bath water is gargantuan now i'm going to go over to padre pio for a minute he is a catholic saint and when i say this i am so not talking religious i'll tell you something interesting every mystic eventually stops using religion everybody has to live somewhere everybody has to come into some door padre pio was a a catholic priest he had the stigmata okay and i got a manuscript i got a book from an irish nun who was one of his secretaries and she translated a lot of his journals how many of you ever heard of padre pio i just for i tell you something these stories are great because there isn't any part of you that doesn't want to touch the miraculous or the holy there isn't any part of you that doesn't hope somehow or other that these that this realm of human to divine exists because it does and some people make the journey through that portal and i would like to you know end our time together with a healing prayer if that's okay with you okay but some and some people make this journey through this portal and some people are called to that and there is a grace that comes through them and i have witnessed that i have witnessed that myself and i think part of witnessing that is that you just aren't surprised that you absolutely expect it that it becomes the norm for you that instead of it being like wow that you should expect nothing less that you should walk in this world that your way becomes one of if you get that this is that the way i should live is i think i'm going about this the wrong way i think god i've been looking for god to make my life stand out when in fact that's the problem if you knew the mystical way if you knew the nature of god since when does god indulge a weak ego since when does god indulge someone who needs who has a pathology for attention a craving in fact the way of that would be to give you nothing until you heal that says when does god indulge someone who wants more more and more because they're so afraid of having less less less since when says when would buddha do that when would buddha do that what would a yoga master do that when would a guru do that oh you poor little thing you need more and more more because you're so fragile you're exactly the one that would say go in the corner you need some spiritual time out you got the rules wrong the truth spiritual path is about being in the world but not of the world you are absolutely attaching to so much that you're burdened by it you're burdened by it it's hanging on you why do you need so much why do you need so much that would be my cra so in your second chakra it's like you're craving why it's your cravings and this is what i've learned it's that the cravings are the source of so much of your suffering life is not that hard life is not that hard your cravings drive you insane no no it is the truth yours your cravings your cravings for attention your cravings for stuff your cravings for a life other than the one you have your cravings because you think this just isn't enough your cravings because you think someone's opportunity should be yours keep your eye in your own skin manage your own life what do you decide that you should have more and more more this idea i hear these people teach you should have more you deserve more what deserve is one of the worst words that was ever created you know what teresa family said you deserve nothing at all where do you get off thinking you deserve anything you don't deserve a thing will you get off with that i'm editing her but she told her sisters you don't deserve anything and if they got uppity with her she sent them in the kitchen to peel potatoes she really did she said you don't deserve anything what do you think you deserve what do you think you deserve i'm throwing it out there what do you think you deserve come on make it good health really and where is that going to come from who's going to give you health why do you deserve health make it good i'm waiting i don't wait for many people so don't don't waste my time i don't care if i waste your time but don't waste mine because of a belief that you have of the basic contribution what of a basic contribution that is to be shared with this but that's a big mouthful that means what i don't know what that means say it in in a way bail yourself out i want one thing brave okay hold on i'm articulating yeah make it fast make it good i just believe i deserve and want vibrant good health to be able to deliver the gifts and blessings that have been bestowed upon me by god by the universe to share with others on the planet okay but maybe it doesn't require health to do that all ears that's why i'm in front of you okay you know okay yeah uh what else do you think you deserve huh god's love what did you say water good god's loving water that's a hell of a cocktail yeah go yeah in california i couldn't believe it what you deserve nothing that's my boy okay keep it up you knew i was coming yeah all right here's theresa vivala and you take this into your soul this is a jewel people and you use this for the rest of your life because it'll it'll lift a lot of your anchors i want you to picture someone who loves you a great big huge great big huge great big huge a lot and theresa would say did you make that person love you did you force that did you somehow or other make that person come into your life did you have that kind of power did you make that happen did you conjure that up she says you don't have that kind of power you never have and you never will she said you don't have that kind of power you don't deserve that person loving you they just do they just do they get up in the morning and think my whole world is better because you're here my whole world my whole world i my planet is a much better place because you're here and i'm so glad i found you i'm so glad you're in my life and if you weren't in my life it would be so different but you are and i can't tell you how much my heart is happier now you can't make that happen don't ever let your britches get that big that is god in your life that is god in your life she says you look at that and you realize you're entitled to nothing everything is a gift everything and you don't mess with your gifts you don't mess with them you do not mess you don't make love happen it is given to you you can't make anyone love you but they show up they show up and your job is to love them back and to not mess that up by playing games with them by being a pouty little brat your job is to not be a monster but to love them up and to realize they couldn't i got to figure out to be my best self and when you look at that you realize i want you to think that the best things that have ever happened to you you did not arrange the worst things you did you totally did you are the creator of the worst things in your life and i refer to you here they come from your cravings they come from your fears and they come from number three your third chakra what you think you're entitled to what john of the cross would call your spiritual luxuries your entitlements he called them luxuries this is all in defy gravity by the way there's a lot of this in defy gravity what he calls your spiritual luxuries i love that that you think you have entitlements and this will get you in so much trouble so much trouble that you think you have these entitlements nobody has entitlements you're not entitled to anything and once you kind of get this it puts you on equal footing with life and you find god you find god you realize i have got to stop thinking that i am something special because then you pray as though god needs to treat you as something special and that will never happen never and you think your friend should teach you something special and that special thing should happen to you and you name your kids sunshine meditation karma aren't my children special no they're not and don't don't ask me to say that because i won't and i'm sick of your special children and so is everybody else and your children aren't special will you stop it special is something that's earned not given do you understand me jesus mary and joseph now okay padre pia i'm going to go back to that because it's important um pio uh was a priest and one of the extraordinary things about him he was also a saint was that um he had the gift of discernment he had the speaking in tongues he could speak any language at all when he was hearing confession now here's something i read a number of books in a row that somehow or other created this interesting alchemy in my soul i read a book called the kindly ones that i'm sure probably nobody read it's a voluminous piece of work by a man named jonathan latel it's a masterpiece and it's on the power of evil in the human soul the second book was who will write our story which is about a jewish historian in the warsaw ghetto the first one is about a nazi and the third is called i was reading a book on uh jesuits and this um james martin referred to a jesuit priest named walter ziznik who was captured in russia and he was born in pit in pennsylvania and ended up in a russian gulag for 23 years which is one of those hellhole prisons and returned to the united states in 1963 and uh i thought but what captured me when he taught was talking about it i downloaded his book at 1 30 in the morning because i was reading james martin book on jesuits and he told the story of martin and what he said about walter that captured me was that as he left russia after all those years of suffering he blessed russia for all the country had given him and then i had padre pio's book and i read this book and then for all the work i had done on the sacraments and the graces and how they work in your health down to your soul the one sacrament that i did not have anything to do with was confession and the and and the other thing that i really kind of needed a little more clarity about was how grace worked it all came together that night i'm reading this book on walter many times people ask me what is grace how does grace work of course people ask and grace is one of those mystical forces that is always working in your life so you don't see it it's it it's always working it every one of you has had the experience where you've almost said something awful to someone but something stopped you and you hear a voice and it says are you sure you want to say that and then you don't and then you sit back and say oh my god thank god i didn't say that that was grace or maybe but you never think that you don't sit back and say i think i just got an infusion of grace but you don't think that way but that's exactly what happened or you don't think that maybe grace was the the the thing like in in invisible acts of power this man writes me and he says i was going home to commit suicide i was standing on a corner i'm thinking maybe i should slip my wrist or maybe i should take all these aspirin but maybe i don't have enough aspirin but maybe my blade is not sharp enough maybe i should cut it first and then take the aspirin or should i take the aspirin and then cut and he said i was actually having this kind of discussion and and he said and just as i was doing that a car pulls up to the stop sign and i'm waiting for the car to go by and this woman looks at me and smiles and says no no you go and he said she looked and the smile made such an impact on me i decided to live could have been any of you do you understand could ladies it could have been any of you in this room could have been that woman you don't know that you don't know that you do not know how often you have been channeling grace all of you to someone with the force of your smile you don't come home and say ooh that pepsident to my channeling grace today you don't know it you don't know it but you are you are you are you are because every time you tune yourself in and you think i just need to i just want to feel good about life i i don't know what's going to happen and sometimes it's very difficult but it's a new day and as thomas merton says this day of my life will never come again so make it a good one that's your prayer make it a good one hover over me god this day will never come again and out the door you go and in this book with walter he's in the prison how grace works um another way i got it was sometimes we want our lives to be changed we want our circumstances to be lifted from our shoulders we want our circumstances we want to come out of what it is sometimes we can't bear it anymore we're either having to take care of somebody or we're we're dealing with an illness or we're dealing with a situation that day by day by day we can't bear it anymore we don't know why we're there and it's it's this it's the first it's the first level sometimes buddha in buddhism that's oftentimes called the level of hell where we just can't see our way through we can't see our way out we can't bear it i mean and certainly life in the gulag in russia would be that so this gulag it was starving and there was no food and it was freezing it's 30 below zero there they're wrapped in whatever rags they can walter said the prisoners finally had a revolt and i don't know how many of you know about what kind of human being stalin was but i'm sure you know enough about joseph stalin to know he was a savage man and so he wasn't much interested in his prisoners prisoners of war surviving the golag so they lived on bread and rats literally and whatever they could find up there well these soldiers were ordered to come in and to stop the revolt with the wooden end of the gun the abundant of the gun so they came in and they were pushing and walter was like five foot one and he said it was just by the hand of god that someone had pushed him turned around so he got hit but he got hit in the part of his body where the least damage was done i read that about 307 in the morning and i put the book down and i read it again and i just sat there it was breathtaking to me it did take my breath because in that moment i thought that's how you work that's it i got it i got it god cannot take us out but what he does is angle creates the angles within situations that cannot be changed until we get through them creates the angles does the least amount of damage guides us through what we have to get through guides us through what we have to get through that's what grace does guide me through get me through get me through the angles angle me i gotta make it through this labyrinth angle me angle me don't pray for what cannot be given to you and then say there is no god learn to pray the right way don't pray for what cannot be given don't if you know this i've got it i've got to go through this i've got to carry this burden it is mine i've got to carry it if you hold still in your heart you know what is yours to carry you know what is yours to carry what you say you don't collapse and say take it away take it away don't pray for what cannot be given you pray and say all right this is it help me angle me help me maneuver this don't let me make stupid choices keep me from being stupid now that works pray like you're crazy i expect you here now tune your gut don't trust their gut trust yours become wickedly courageous wicked courage don't ask anyone to validate what your soul tells you don't you dare put your soul on the marketplace do you think this guidance is real if i was your spiritual director i'd send you in the toilet you get in there and i want you to explain to me why you are asking other people about what belongs between you and god and your spiritual director don't you dare do that do you understand you dilute yourself because you're looking for attention applause assurance studied about why you don't want to be humiliated you don't want to do things wrong you should be humiliated you deserve to be right then and there i hope you humiliated really good do it again you gotta get it over with should have a humiliation party come here i'm going to go humiliate myself and get it over with okay padre pio all roads lead back to him in in defy gravity um i be of all the sacraments that i did not pay attention to i paid attention to all of them but not so much confession and as we get up here what became a fascination to me in heaven and healing in health and everything was our relationship to truth and our inability to be comfortable with truth we're just not comfortable with it we do not know how to tell the truth how to say the truth how to speak the truth in our society we are so uncomfortable with it that we even keep created an archetype that speaks the truth called a whistleblower and we arrest him it's illegal to be a whistleblower in our society people get married they live together they have sex together they have children together and they need a third party to speak the truth to each other it's called marriage counselor because i don't know but i have to speak my feelings i've never really told them the truth about this the truth about that truth carries a really when you say something truth oh you're so negative what what the truth is oftentimes considered a negativity oh my god you're so negative it's the truth is negative you know the the part of me that is uh deeply involved in the study of of the cosmos of the spirit of whatever and you mentioned demons and the nature of evil oh there's no evil oh wow have you seen the world i mean wow wow how's how's the theory it's only good working for you i mean wow okay so no the world is as it is one of the reasons people don't heal is because they don't face the balance of nature there is sunlight there's darkness there's good there's evil in our nature and around our nature in us around us up down left right and the darkness in a person needs to be dealt with it needs to be dealt with and there's doing things that are wrong doing things that are wrong and then there are doing things that are evil there's wrong and then there's evil there's stupid there's wrong there's evil stupid put the milk away it rots all night all right wrong it's just wrong to leave your keys in the car in a bad neighborhood this is wrong and then there's evil i knew that you would pay a price for me maneuvering this details in your computer so i could take that money i knew it i knew they'd blame you but i did it anyway of my own free will and now you're going to prison for five years and i knew it i knew it but it it worked i knew i could get away with it i'm smarter than you i'm a hacker and it worked and oh well oh well bummer so what everyone does it everyone business is business oh well so peel when i read his book it was all about and it's hard for people to grasp this it was all about that in spite of his many many gifts and he could buy locate he could be two places at once not to just go shopping he he for all of his many gifts and he was a um what i believe happened to pio is that i think part of the spirit of christ completely possessed him he was that holy and that profound during world war ii he was frequently seen on the battlefield attending to soldiers and and many many miracles were um attributed to him and in all the cases he was always seen giving confession was always confession padre pio was also his secretary wrote that he also battled the demon in his cell and many times he would wake up he would come emerge in the morning with um wounds on him from having done hand-to-hand combat with some dark force that's very hard to grasp and it's hard to understand it's out of the mythology good up to the penthouse it's out of the mythology of both of many of us but if any of you have ever heard of john of god in south america any of you okay okay he operates from a mythology that's also out of your head out of your the norm he works with ignatius loyola he works with saints catholic saints but he also uses knives to to cut through the energetic aura and to remove illness from the body so there are many forms of mythologies that the soul engages in that are foreign to our rational mind one of the things for all of pio's many gifts he said he was here to hear confession that in order for someone to break the whole darkness has on them what i realized is they have to go in front of someone and say i knowingly do this i knowingly say things that are not true and unless i have some unless i say it in front of someone representing god or the holy or the sacred i'm not going to stop because it's stronger than me it's stronger than me i knowingly do things that are not kind i break my word to my friends and unless i have some force stronger than me i'm gonna keep doing this and what people don't get is that's darkness operating in them it's not the light and for all the healthy foods you put in you it they do not compete with this kind of darkness and i just need to put it out there because you may be some of you battling with illness maybe it's depression maybe it's anxiety but you really we need to recognize we have become a psychically sensitive cis people now this post nuclear generation is nothing like the people who lived before the nuclear war we are a highly we are we are a multi-psyche sensitive design we're in a hologram we have all these attunements we and what and more to the point we dismantled so many of the support systems that the tribes had that they took for granted we took down families we took down churches we took down all the traditional the the hobbyis habitus maximus that that used to just be passed on from family to family the habits of the heart the habitus maximus the grand habits of the heart that would move from tribe to tribe we don't even do that anymore we don't even do that anymore the the because the the family's shattered it doesn't make any difference oh there's three mothers here two fathers it these it doesn't we are so fragile do you see what i'm saying we we need to recognize that often that what oftentimes is truly troubling us is that we have not emptied our soul never mind our minds we haven't emptied our soul we haven't said i have a soul crisis i have a spiritual crisis i'm not in a cycle i don't need a drug for depression i need to clear my soul i've made choices that are just dark and i've got to stop this and i am in anguish over that we've got we need to put this component back again and that's what's true you cannot have a spiritual practice without having the spiritual health system in place too and it's a lot more than saying [Music] a lot more than pendulums and rocks the art of the soul is thousands of years old and it includes confession it includes emptying what you carry in you it includes unburdening it includes the management of your conscience it includes recognizing i'm making choices that are dark and toxic and i've got to stop it and i don't know how to stop it and i don't know who to turn to that helps me manage my inner self and the consequences

Channel: Caroline Myss

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Id: IpUkY1ja7Fk

Length: 106min 57sec (6417 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 24 2020