NARRATOR: PRESENTING... CAPTAIN YAJIMA! Featuring PROFESSOR GENIUS! NARRATOR: We join our heroes
aboard their SPACESHIP... Where they're picking up strange readings
from a nearby planet... GENIUS: This can't be right... YAJIMA: What is it, Professor Genius? GENIUS: The scanner says, There's only ONE sign of life
on this planet... YAJIMA: Just one? GENIUS: Someone must be stranded! YAJIMA: Quickly, Genius! Fly us down there! YAJIMA: (GASP) GENIUS: (GASP) GENIUS: Look, Captain! An ASTRONAUT! YAJIMA: ASTRONAUT! Speak to me, Astronaut! ASTRONAUT: EH... I... I've been stranded here... for 100 years... GENIUS: That can't be right... YAJIMA: 100 years? One HUNDRED years, astronaut? ASTRONAUT: I may have lost track of time... YAJIMA: Genius, use the carbon dater
on him--he may be dying of starvation! GENIUS: The carbon dater indicates... He's been here... 10 minutes. YAJIMA: AH? ASTRONAUT: (grunts) I can't remember the last time I saw
the sun... YAJIMA: Astronaut, the sun's right there! There's two of them! ASTRONAUT: They're so beautiful... YAJIMA: Genius, we must get him
aboard our ship. This man is UNWELL! GENIUS: I shall carry him on
my powerful back. GENIUS: (HMPH!) ASTRONAUT: (grunts) GENIUS: Tell me, Astronaut,
where do you come from? ASTRONAUT: Ah.. Thank you... I come from the planet Earth. GENIUS: Fascinating... I've heard of Earth... You've got cars there, right? ASTRONAUT: Yes, we have cars. GENIUS: THAT'S INCREDIBLE! ASTRONAUT: Thank you... YAJIMA: I've set coordinates for Earth, We should be able to drop you off
in no time! GENIUS: What were you doing so
far out in space? ASTRONAUT: Let me see... I was doing a routine checkup on one of our
Earth Space Stations... When this powerful alien on a
motorcycle approached me...! ALIEN: HRGH!! ASTRONAUT: He said... ALIEN: MOVE IT, ASSHOLE!!! ASTRONAUT: --and kicked me... really HARD. AAAAAAAAAA I crash-landed onto that strange planet... Who KNOWS how long I was there... GENIUS: N-no, we're certain
it was 10 minutes. ASTRONAUT: 10 hours... GENIUS: NO... YAJIMA: What a RUDE alien!! Kicking you across space like that... I have decided, he is to be my ARCHRIVAL. GENIUS: Captain... You already have an archrival, remember? The wicked ZOGA? YAJIMA: No, no, I'm finished with Zoga. ZOGA: FINISHED, ARE YOU? (BOOM) YAJIMA: EH--YOU WERE ZOGA THE WHOLE TIME?? ZOGA: THAT'S RIGHT, CAPTAIN YAJIMA! GENIUS: All that stuff about the motorcycle
alien... that was made up? ZOGA: NO, TH-THAT ALL REALLY HAPPENED. I WAS DOING A DIFFERENT THING.
In my Astronaut Disguise. HE REALLY DID KICK ME TOO! GENIUS: OO! ZOGA: IT HURT REALLY BAD... YAJIMA: Zoga, you know I hate you-- ZOGA: AND I HATE YOU! YAJIMA: --but WHO is this GUY? Going around KICKING PEOPLE. GENIUS: I'm hung up on this as well. YAJIMA: He seems like a real PIECE OF SHIT. ZOGA: HE WAS INCREDIBLY RUDE. YAJIMA: I think we have to
find this guy and take vengeance. GENIUS: I agree. YAJIMA: Truce, Zoga? ZOGA: JUST UNTIL WE'VE FOUND THIS GUY? YAJIMA: Yes, of course. ZOGA: TRUCE IT IS! NARRATOR: So CAPTAIN YAJIMA and
the WICKED ZOGA team up-- --to seek vengeance on this RUDE MAN! But who IS THIS MAN? Only time will tell... (evil laughter) GENIUS: Zoga, could you give us any
more details about this guy's appearance? ZOGA: RUDE and UGLY. YAJIMA: No, Zoga, DETAILS... ZOGA: I saw his BOOT very clearly. GENIUS: His boot? ZOGA: Because he KICKED ME!! GENIUS: Ahh, right, right... YAJIMA: It's possible he was on
his way to this nearby SPACE PORT... ZOGA: HURRY, YAJIMA! WE MUST DESTROY HIM! ZOGA: UGH GENIUS: Look, Captain! A SEEDY Space Bar... YAJIMA: Do you think he could be in there? GENIUS: We better look... (metal music) GENIUS: Ah, yes... Space metal! YAJIMA: Zoga, do you see the guy anywhere? ZOGA: EVERYONE HERE HATES ME. BUT NO, I DON'T SEE THE MOTORCYCLE GUY. YAJIMA: Damn... GENIUS: Maybe we could try looking at
a different space port... YAJIMA: WAIT! Genius, Zoga! LOOK... GENIUS: Astronaut! Speak to me, Astronaut! YAJIMA: (laughing) Zoga, we're not falling for this TWICE!
Come on... ZOGA: I'M STILL RIGHT HERE, IDIOT! YAJIMA: OH, whoops. ASTRONAUT: (grunts) GENIUS: What happened, m'am?
How did you get here? ASTRONAUT: Some guy... kicked me... ZOGA: (gasps) WAS HE ON A MOTORCYCLE?? ASTRONAUT: (nods) (all gasping) YAJIMA: Where is he now, astronaut??
Where did you see him?? ASTRONAUT: He's right... Behind you... ALIEN: MOVE IT, ASSHOLES!!! YAJIMA: (gasps)
GENIUS: AAA!! (thunk) ZOGA: NOT AGAIN!!! YAJIMA: Wow, that is SOME KICK! GENIUS: CAPTAIN! We're hurdling directly towards that
MYSTERIOUS VORTEX! Who knows what horrible dimension
awaits us in there... YAJIMA: I guess we're gonna find out! NARRATOR: CAPTAIN YAJIMA and
her friends have been teleported to a STRANGE DIMENSION... Will they escape? Who is this rude man on the motorcycle? Find out in the NEXT EPISODE of... CAPTAIN YAJIMA!
Featuring PROFESSOR GENIUS!
