Camera Night on Letterman, March 1, 1988

[Music] from New York send in those restaurant check stubs I'm doing my taxes and I still need another thousand bucks worth of deductions it's Late Night with David Letterman tonight Tom Brokaw and singer Belinda Carlisle also Paul Shaffer in the world's most dangerous band Plus tonight is camera night one day all shows will look like this and now just as the onion is the basic ingredient of cooking so is this man the basic ingredient in the brother is this a load of crap Dave [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thank you very much ladies and gentlemen thank you so much and welcome to our Tuesday night roast beef roundup oh I'm sorry for a second there I thought I was manager of an Arby's [Applause] tomorrow night right across the street here in New York City the Grammy Awards are being held oh like you got a chance [Applause] but I think the best thing about the Grammy Awards is there are no Russians or East Germans eligible to win one of those honey let me explain something to you tonight ladies and gentlemen because we want to bring you continually bring you the finest in American commercial television entertainment we've added a few extra cameras to our normal normal battery of video equipment usually on this program we usually have four cameras and in all honesty that's that's probably too much for us anyway but tonight we have 13 different video cameras because wait we want to make sure you don't miss a single second of all of the action all of the heartfelt drama all of the emotion everything that burbles gurgles and bubbles right off your screen into your laps now Hal are you in there Hal our director Hal grinny will now demonstrate this yes Hal how how will now demonstrate to you this amazing video display Anton are you ready here we go camera number one is number one camera number two camera number three camera number four number five black-and-white camera number six number seven [Applause] [Music] 9 and 11 [Applause] [Music] and finally ladies and gentlemen number 13 [Applause] [Music] this is nice we have one here mounted on a stick we got this idea from the Japanese and they're light years ahead of us in this kind of thing you know what this looks like when the Fox Network bless their hearts when they finally fold up and go out of business they'll have a sale that'll look a little something like this ladies and gentlemen please say hello to our good friend mr. Paul Shaffer thank you which is my camera is that my camera over there that's it we have 13 which was my camera again I don't know where it is I don't know it's exciting in here did you know tonight we are we are the tonight tonight we are the third largest employer in the United States the first would be the government and then of course I guess it would be GM and then maybe Lockheed McDonnell Douglas and our show today this is wonderful that's great the hell is that so I'd you have a nice weekend Paul I had a so-so weekend how was your week at a horrible weekend and I'm gonna do why well all right what if we have to get out of here in a hurry how yeah I had people come up friends staff members came up Saturday night to watch the Olympics with me nice sounds good so far lovely plan for a Saturday that's right Jude Brennan the lovely and talented Associate Producer wherever she goes happiness exactly and and my assistant Laurie diamond fabulous gown that's right they were a marvelous evening coming up to my house to watch the Olympics we're gonna have pizza and a lovely salad perfect you know I think as Americans aren't we eating more salads these days so what could go wrong all right okay so in the middle of in the middle of all of this we're watching the Olympics and we're eating our pizza eating our salad I decided you know the thing that holds the logs in the fireplace yeah I don't know what you call it but it's a thing it's like a it's not andirons but it's the same principle it's like a cast-iron basket a fire log holder how how can we can we get a shot of the guy in the audience I'm glad you're making such good use of the kid [Applause] now if your if they're doing a baseball game they use for I'm sorry five cameras to do a baseball game we have 13 here tonight World Series baseball they go up to ten stationary cameras and two handheld cameras that still we still have one more camera than would be covering the World Series series Super Bowl game 18 cameras and five handheld so that's 23 so they have ten more than we would have here ski jumps four to six so on and so forth Macy's parade is not on here will but thank you very much so anyway in the middle of the lovely evening I decided that I needed to change the fire log holder because the logs were tumbling out of it and I couldn't stand the rest of the night having to scoop logs up and put them back and so I took I do have an extra one yeah I have a spare in the garage I say don't you so I took away the screen yeah ran out got the spare fire log holder that is deeper actually and can hold more flaming logs I pulled out I put on my fireproof gloves and please don't try this at home I put on my fireproof gloves and I pull out the one containing the flaming logs and then one at a time I pick up the burning logs in my hands and then I then I put them into the other fire log holder now instead of the fire being in the fireplace it's now on my living room rug I've got a fire right there just like inches from the pizza feel like I'm being followed so now the house of course is filling up with smoke and this whole procedure takes about 20 minutes just about half as long as it takes to tell the story yeah and and so finally after doing nothing to assist me nothing whatsoever yeah Jude Brennan puts down a slice of pizza and says what are you doing so was it a great weekend Oh see I couldn't have told that story with just four cameras now 13 cameras let's do it we have we have here what are these these are dumb ads actual advertisements from actual periodicals that our staff has poured over for the last couple of weeks and we found them rather amusing heck would like to share them with you now oh by the way if you think tonight's show is great tomorrow night this one I'm really excited about from st. Louis [Laughter] [Applause] tomorrow night from st. Louis via satellite on your screen in full color pictures of baggage is one of these cameras in black and white how is that the deal or do I need a checkup aunt Ines is black that shouldn't be in black and white should it it oh they thought it would be more amusing Gavin black and white I got a third coming of the meetings alright have we done the top 10 list should we do it now tonight's category from the home office in Lincoln Nebraska top ten unpleasant things to hear on an elevator I am so fed up with writing elevators in this building top ten unpleasant things to hear on an elevator God every move they make is a fire drill here here we go number ten does this look infected to you number nine you know these pants are reversible number eight hold the door Willard is coming number seven the acoustics in this elevator are perfect for yodeling number six sorry about my finger I was aiming for a button number five would you do a number for us miss Channing number four number four we're both going to the 14th floor how about a hog number three I'm not just a jehovah's witness I also sell insurance number two does this smell like root beer to you and number one just ignored oops we're going to have him fixed soon [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we've lost our lease everything must go how much are one of these cameras worth what are these the TK forty sevens how much are they worth is it on here do we know how much they cost we don't know ninety thousand dollars of camera hell it's costing us in equipment fifteen thousand dollars I guess for the usage of the program thirteen thousand dollars in extra manpower manpower and the whole thing tonight is costing is about thirty thousand dollars and as always ladies and gentlemen we pass the savings on to you let's do our dumb ads this is nothing like small town news by the way it's a whole different concept call dumb ass hey those crazy-ass very nice thank you very much very nice bar those cuckoo hands thank you very much thank you how I'm getting vertigo okay the green apartments this ad tells us apartments from $190 a month jogging trails BBQ grills and ducks you know I don't care if the kids have to be on the school bus an extra hour this place has ducks what are you doing thank you very much yeah our Associate Producer we're smoked out of the house franco-american SpaghettiOs and lifesavers $150,000 education sweepstakes well no it's not exactly not exactly a Rhodes Scholar and no it's not quite like the full buy a Fulbright grandma I'm actually here on the SpaghettiOs scholarship [Applause] here's one I know you're going to love it's the chef at hair styler you might also want to try their bite me blow dryer Valley of the dolls 14 hours continuous entertainment almost nude dancers and homemade chili almost nude dancers and homemade chili on the next Donahue why couldn't they just have totally nude dancers and serve canned chili home yard and car repair political research in Westchester 22 years Rex Frankel okay Rex clean up the vacant lot mulch the shrubs and can you find out how the blue-collar voter feels about farm subsidies number six Bob Thomas announces as we see clearly in the ad Bob Thomas announces a Don Murphy formerly general manager Bob Thomas Ford Incorporated has been appointed to the position of general manager Bob Thomas Ford Incorporated Bob Thomas Dodge wow that's very nice to hear Dave excuse me Dave yes Anton I want to see if I understand this correctly yeah it's Bob Thomas who's announcing the Donna Murphy is the new general manager of Rob Thomas Ford right that wasn't he formerly the manager Bob Thomas Ford well Anton the announcement might come from Bob Thomas Dodge but it's Bob Thomas that Don Murphy has been appointed general manager of yeah but Don Murphy was formerly the general manager of Bob Thomas Ford is he now the general manager of Thomas Ford above Thomas Dodge well let's say he's the manager of Bob Thomas Ford though according to this announcement the the position he held formerly was general manager at Bob Thomas Ford it might be that Bob Thomas was formerly the general manager and now Don Murphy is the general manager yeah but general manager Bob Thomas Ford Oh Bob Thomas done I have a really bad headache I thank God for those extra cameras there's no such thing as a dull moment tonight is there number seven manure handling de Alexandria Ohio lunch and guest speakers you you might want to wash up before lunch number eight want to take a bite I want to take a big bite of cellulite no no thank you I'm on my way to the big manure handlers luncheon so I want how are we doing on time Bob we're a little late are we what's the cameras are slowing everything down is it cumbersome here we go number nine Hoffman's Gun Center oh this looks like a st. Patrick's Day ad Paulie see they get lyrics when gun eyes when gun guys eyes Paul you try this one I'll take a crack at this when the gun guys eyes are smiling smile at Hoffman's star when I got guy eyes is true it's the guy that day ha [Applause] [Music] and [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Cameras Cameras tomorrow night ladies and gentlemen baggage from st. Louis via satellite our first guest tonight this man is certainly on a roll with exclusive and and news making interviews Mikhail Gorbachev Pat Robertson George Bush and Bob Dole well the roll stops here folks please welcome the anchorman of the NBC Nightly News Tom Brokaw Tom [Applause] they might as well because there are no cameras left in the building for me to do the news yeah now explain now now that's an interesting statement but it means something else what else is going on there well we have robotic cameras right and if they don't like what I say they come and eat my tie and take off my left shoulder now explain to us what's happened you used to have three cameras up there yep still have three cambree came they're run by a single person who operates it a little bit like a joystick that you would have on an electronic game at home from an from another part of the building and are they as versatile are they as versatile as the men powered the man operated cameras as versatile as these cameras you mean yeah as what we've seen here tonight I hope not but but now that the sad part of this don't people lose jobs because of no they're gonna find jobs for mother in other parts of the building for example you've employed some of them here and there all the others Bobby says yeah labor action here I was gonna miss my friends actually and when does this go into effect well that's a very good question probably early part of next week do you are you comfortable working with these robot cameras well they don't have nearly the snappy one-liners at some of my palaces I mean I could walk into the studio I'm Bob always had a little joke for me they don't have that yeah what is the advantage the advantage is that over the long haul they save the General Electric Company a lot of money oh well thank God for that yes because there's been a lot of concern if ever there was a company on its last legs its GE so robotic cameras I guess the the question obviously is how far away are we from robotic anchormen not so far I was CBS as one now you know you and I ought to hang around together we look I mean don't we look like guys that you'd see hanging around together absolutely would you like to hang around with me nope [Applause] tell me about Mikhail Gorbachev is it Gorbachev yeah yeah was that the most important most exciting interview you think you have ever yeah I think so I grab it's the first kind of one-on-one interview that he gave to a Western reporter how did that come about well we worked on it for about three years I mean did everything but send small Russian people to his doorstep with envelopes but when he first took power we began a kind of campaign through contacts that we had in the Soviet Union through telexes and letters a man by the name of Gordon Manning who works at NBC would come in with great regularity very early in the morning because of the time difference in call his contacts in the Kremlin and we we worked on it that way where was where was the interview actually held what's about to happen to him I don't know it's no it's nothing I think it's how showing off a little bit that's what I think it does remind me a little bit of the Russian director where was it held it was held in the Council of Ministers which is deep within the Kremlin and we walked down the hallway to get there and the guide said it was kind of offhandedly that was Lenin's office right there that we walked that's pretty amazing that's not bad and we walked into this room kind of gilded with a nice picture of the Kremlin from across the river on the wall took a look at it and then came back two days later to do the interview what what kind of things did you talk about while you were waiting for things to be set up well I was trying to put him at ease which turned out not to be a problem at all he's a he's very confident with people and I I knew that he'd spent some time in the agricultural parts of the Soviet Union so I talked to him about being a combine operator right and then I said to him we know that you would like to make an opening statement we don't think that that's in the best interest of this program it would be better if you say that opening statement and put it at the very end the program are kind of closing remarks did that make him nervous no he just said I would like to make an opening statement we said but we have negotiated this you know over many months with your people who are here in the Communist Party and we don't think it's necessary to make an opening statement and so I would hope that you would make an opening statement and he said to me my hope is that your other hopes will be better realized in this one I will make an opening state so we managed to take and I counted up I had nine NBC vice presidents with me and he had the Red Army and I thought he'll make the opening statement nine NBC vice pres about that's like clowns getting out of a Volkswagen in there a little bit more about the interview with the Gorbachev and also George Bush and Bob Dole and those folks and anything else you want to chat with we have to do a commercial here and we'll be right back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] very much when you were talking to a Gorbachev now this the same telecast went to the Soviet Union but not at the same time it was was there anything taken out for that version one one thing was taken out when I asked him a second question about his wife he was very succinct in his answer to me about whether or not he consulted with her about matters of Soviet affairs at the highest level and he said we talked about everything and I said including political affairs at the highest level in the Soviet Union and he said you have your answer everything right that was removed they're very sensitive about that in the Soviet Union there's some question about whether or not Boris Yeltsin lost his job as the Moscow party chief because he went after Gorbachev and particularly the role Raisa as we sat down so they would like the image not to include that he shares the only thing with they don't yeah that's right she's not a member of the Politburo after all when we sat down they had wired him up in a kind of clumsy Russian fashion and I thought show I say something about that or not and we were kind of just getting started and I decided that it didn't look real good so I got our one of our technicians up to help him out and I leaned over and I was straightening out his microphone and I said you have to understand mr. general-secretary this is something I have to do in my job every day and he looked at me and developed a small cold-blooded smile and said you would not believe what I have to do in my job Thanks did did you there's no way you I guess you can get her or maybe you can get a sense of what the real guy is I mean do you not much do you was there any little glimmer of insight that you came away with yeah that he's extraordinarily bright and of all the Soviet leaders that we've dealt with in the post-war years I think this is clearly the best educated man the most flexible the kind of he looks beyond the Soviet borders in a way but you ought not to have any illusions about him he's a product of that system he can be very cold-blooded in his political judgments he knows that he has an enormous task before him and he's gonna be around for a while if he can survive the first couple of years or so you see where those real wide shoes they all wear now is it a little a little better dressed but maybe kind of on a level of the manager of a Super eight in downtown Newark I mean it kind of at that level as it I did say to him at the end he's so good I said look mr. gendell secretary you want to give this up come to New York with me I'll make you a million dollars in a courtroom every year I mean you're a great lawyer and he kind of looked and said I think I'll stay where I am yeah what kind of dough does he make there not very much but he doesn't need to because everything is provided for him I mean if he chooses his feed don't have to hit the ground it'll carry him out to his car that's the deal I'm shooting for here yes right well with with those shoes I can see why he wouldn't want your feet to hit the ground what what should the person in pick a small City between New York and Los Angeles pick any city I'll say India Muncie Indiana what should an average person in Muncie an Indiana think of glass in Austria I think they should think that it has limitations on it there he is attempting to change the Soviet system which has been entrenched now for more than 50 years and it's a radical change that he's going through and he wants to retain absolute control at the same time so they're venting a little bit at a time they're giving only so much power and so much openness it's not anything like we have in this country and no one ought to believe that it is still an oppressive Society and it will remain that for some time but there is a little more freedom available to some people so they're just putting a new front on the building they're putting a new front on the building and he knows that he has to make profound changes but he doesn't he cannot do it overnight that it has to be done over a long period of time and the tricky part is how does the pull-up Bureau retain control and at the same time give the Russian people some more choices not just in how they conduct their daily life and on how they produce agricultural goods and other things Jesus is all very fascinating I mean you're a very lucky man to have had that experience no it's it's something to watch and we didn't even get around to talking about you know in nine months will elect a new president here we will and we didn't get a chance to cover that anybody shows up yeah come back more often you were here like a couple of years ago it's always nice to see I love coming back continued success to see [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I've been asked to remind you by our producer Bob Morton that that we have 13 cameras tonight in case you're just tuning in late better right Bob how about another shutter Bob can we have with just one shot how can you free up a camera where is he you got him yet there no that's not Bob where is where is Bob oh there is come up to the office come up to the office and do I walk the line I love it when you do that that's great let's see tomorrow on the program Carol Leifer will be here and also Tim Reid star of Frank's place Frank's place you'll be here tomorrow night fabulous you alright I love Tim Reid yeah he'll be here tomorrow night fabulous Wow and coming up later Belinda Carlisle who has been nominated for a Grammy Award let's hope we get the right camera angles on her that's all I can say how how can you not get the right camera angles on her exactly you know kids the US dollar is weaker than it's been in years our military strength has fallen far behind that of our enemies and the test scores of our high school students continue to decline drastically as part of this overall trend ladies and gentlemen please say hello to Kenny the gardener kidding [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] nice nice to see a Kenny are here on a very exciting night we have we have 13 cameras instead of our usual four 13 cameras [Applause] Kenny what are you been up to lately well I've been traveling across the nation entertaining our men and women in uniform men and women so you're entertaining the the Armed Services no I've been performing for employees at Dunkin Donuts they they pay you to perform in donut shops no I wouldn't accept the money even on the remote chance that they might want to pay me well that's certainly certainly very big of you Kenny no I do it because I love those brave kids who wear the pink and the brown they deserve the best [Applause] yeah that was a reading of that line I never guessed would be possible [Applause] Kenny I think maybe the the glue from your hairpiece is seeping into your brain how about how about a gardening tip Kenny Kenny for the first time light a man I'm taking a good long look at you and you know what I say that Kenny I see a man bathed in an eerie purple light Kenny it could be those tinted glasses you're wearing hey you're probably right thanks for clearing that up yeah I thought I was going nuts you might want to get a second opinion anyway Kenny how how about a song before you leave here tonight sure thing Dave [Applause] okay [Applause] I'm going back someday somewhat made to go by you where the folks are kind and the world don't do this on fire tonight America [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] sorry I'm terribly sorry every time he comes under it's like a bar fight just to get through one of these things Belinda Carlisle is Nick next kids will do a commercial and then be right back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] our next guest has been nominated for a Grammy for the best female vocalist of the year her album heaven on earth just went platinum folks please welcome back the lovely and talented Belinda Carlisle [Applause] [Music] [Music] nice to see you again how you doing we have to do a commercial we'll be right back [Applause] [Music] [Applause] as always you look great you sound terrific and tomorrow night's the big night the Grammy Awards nominated as Best Female Vocalist for 87 yeah he pretty excited about that yeah he ever been nominated before um yeah yeah no we did not win so this is your second my second time does this mean anything really to you if you win does it mean anything if you lose does it mean anything no not really I mean it's it's flattering to be nominated but yeah I did you buy something to wear something expensive something exciting yeah I I bought a nice fancy dress I never really dressed up too much so um I decided I'd take the opportunity dress did you get it's just sort of this strapless kind of [Applause] just you know so if I could showgirl type dress or showgirl showgirl party girl type dress where does one go for these accoutrements where another party girl shop and do you have things prepared to say if you're but you should have something prepared even if you think you're not going to win because having something to say is better than going up there and just sort of chewing on your tongue for a period of time say thank you well of course they thank you and thank the people who helped with the record you know I somebody from your people your camp your group whoever whatever you got out there in California sent me a copy of your platinum record yeah and I was I was touched and the longer I looked at it it's a pretty nice display it's bigger than this and it's in a frame and everything and the longer I looked at it I I was driven with the idea of ripping it open busting it out of the glass case to see if it actually played anything oh I don't think it does I think they take reject records and paint him up yeah that is what they do yeah yeah I was kind of disappointed but but the and it turned out that the record has have been spay Prince spray-painted silver anyway yeah kind of a cheesy thing how's your pig how's your pet pig I don't have it anymore now wait a minute whose show is this what happened to your Pig now I didn't eat it it was um it sort of was kind of messy in the house yeah well I don't think you should be keeping the pig in the house anyway well it started messy outdoors too and do you have other pets I have I still have the dogs and the parrot yeah do you have a lot of property where you live well I have enough for more animals that's good that's good and so tomorrow night we'll be watching and best of luck and thank you very much for being back here thank you always [Applause] [Music] hotel accommodations for some guests of this program we're finished by the omniverse Place Hotel Manhattan's green and civilized oasis in exchange for this announcement for reservations call 1-800 the Omni one came in from California had a shipping in six Grand have the program tomorrow on the program folks Carol Leifer and Tim Reid from Frank's place have a nice evening thanks for being here [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Don Giller

Views: 61,365

Keywords: Camera Night, Tom Brokaw, Belinda Carlisle, Calvert DeForest, Larry Bud Melman, Roy Orbison, Kenny the Gardener

Id: oQQjmklU62g

Length: 43min 34sec (2614 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 27 2017