Cadence Control: Instantly Look Confident In Conversations

johnny depp's relaxed confidence on the stand has helped make public perception around his trial with amber heard pretty one-sided but as many other witnesses have shown staying calm and confident is not easy under that kind of pressure which is why in this video we'll be covering five things that johnny has done and that you can do to radiate extreme confidence that makes others trust and like you even in high pressure situations as a caveat confidence does make others trust you but it doesn't mean that someone is necessarily telling the truth in another video we may talk about lie detection in this trial but this video is just intended to break down confidence under pressure so first off you can create and demonstrate confidence by controlling the cadence of a conversation the easiest way to do this is by letting silence sit when you need to think just make sure that when you do finally speak you don't apologize for the time that you've taken and just carry on normally and you don't remember the television breaking do you i remember there was a i believe there's a coffee cup stuck into the screen slowing things down also allows you to maintain non-reaction seeking body language that's body language that does not ask the other person for a signal that your message is being received as intended now it's easiest to see non-reaction seeking body language in contrast so let's take a look at some examples of reaction seeking body language watch here as one witness lifts his shoulders and reveals his palms in his gesture that communicates i'm overwhelmed what do you want me to do this gesture is fine when done subtly but when exaggerated it's felt as if you're pleading that the question asker would stop pressing down their current path in a newspaper that's claim to fame is h3 women topless and yeah and mr deputy yesterday the son over this right what's that another example of reaction seeking body language can be seen in amber's checking in with the jury especially during highly emotional moments these secretive glances were often timed with a pause in her story as she seemingly gauged the jury's response to what she was saying they wouldn't remember objection calls for speculation i sustained the objection smith marines just going into the wall i remember looking around the room not wanting to move now seeking a reaction from an audience and checking in with them does not mean that someone is lying but it does demonstrate a lack of confidence in how people are going to receive whatever is being said that is why people check in to see if there's a favorable audience reaction so that they may feel secure on the other hand non-reaction seeking body language does not request validation from a listener and as a result it makes you come across as confident in what you're saying which causes others to buy into your reality johnny depp demonstrated non-reaction seeking body language through almost all of his testimony for instance when challenging the defense about an article written about him he did not look to the jury to see if his point had landed with them it's entitled johnny depp friends and family seriously concerned about him here's why yes how did they know the next article from may 1st 2017. if you want to implement this in your own life focus on checking in a bit less often with your audience no matter who they are this means resisting the temptation to immediately scan across a group after you've told a joke just to check who's laughing also you can let silence sit after you've made a point in a debate either way not checking in with the audience communicates that you have full faith in what you are saying or doing this takes us to our third point which is to catch and refuse conversational frames that you do not agree with now frames are the unspoken assumptions and rules built into any communication in a conflict someone may ask you a question where answering directly means accepting a frame that makes you look bad so to defend yourself you shouldn't respond to the content of a question but to its frame even when it's not spoken aloud now this is much easier in an example so for instance in the following clip the defense is reading headlines with the implicit frame that these are credible sources if johnny answers the question's content of am i reading this correctly he would be allowing the frame that those are credible sources to go unchecked so rather than answers the defense's question johnny responds to the frame of the question again with no reaction seeking body language it's entitled johnny depp friends and family seriously concerned about him here's why yes how did they know the next article from may 1st 2017 before johnny depp has a clear and epic sense of entitlement ex-managers say yes and the hollywood reporter correct i was in a lawsuit with him so when opposing counsel continued johnny called out the frame directly rather than answer the question at face value the next article also from may 10 2017 a year and a half before the op-ed was published says johnny depp reportedly drank heavily and was constantly late on the new pirates movie set did i read that right you do reportedly the next argument will also make sense 2017 is a pathetic attempt mr depp please just respond to the question that i'm asking you the next question the next the next document now in your life rather than calling out frames you disagree with like johnny oftentimes the most confident response is simply to calmly assert your own frame this is what amber actually did with the pledge donate discrepancy for context amber stated that she donated seven million dollars of her divorce element all of it to charity there was a divorce settlement you got seven million dollars people were saying this is all about the money but then you did something that uh twisted that whole argument what did you do with that money seven million dollars in total was donated to i split it between the aclu and children's hospital of los angeles later though it came out that she had not donated the money and had merely pledged it meaning it was sitting in her account for her to spend as she pleased now that lie could ruin her credibility and break the case so she came prepared with a frame that would depict her as not having lied that frame was that donated and pledged mean the same thing now personally i found this ridiculous and suspect the jury did too but from a strength of frame perspective amber did as well as she could in those circumstances by calmly asserting her own frame over and over again sitting here today ms heard you still haven't donated the seven million dollars divorce settlement to charity isn't that right incorrect i pledged the entirety you testified under oath that quote the entirety of your divorce settlement was donated to charity end quote didn't you that's correct i pledged the entirety that statement wasn't true it is true i pledged the entirety to charity the statement when you say you buy a house you don't pay for the entire house exactly now conversational frame analysis can be really fun but in your life you're probably not going to consciously notice these frames in real time but when you go slow and adopt more secure body language you will naturally find yourself less caught up in other people's frames and more confident asserting your own moving along to our next point confident people are able to control the emotional tone of an interaction by introducing that tone themselves so for instance they're able to make things a bit more serious by sharing a vulnerable story in an otherwise goofy friend group or in the case of a very serious trial they're able to introduce humor to cut through the tension like johnny you poured yourself a um a mega pint of red wine correct a mega pint shifting the emotional tone of an interaction demonstrates leadership and a tremendous amount of confidence as mentioned this could be towards a much more serious tone as we saw johnny's lawyer do repeatedly when cross-examining amber that's correct i pledged the entirety no misheard my questions your counsel will have time to redirect you after but the more commonly applicable way to show confidence is by introducing humor into situations where people are being much more serious and literal and you can do this by just saying the opposite of what people expect a haze of booze and hash a marriage gone very wrong and a lifestyle he can't afford inside the trials of johnny depp did i read that right you did you should read the article and the last one the last one so in your life when someone at a party asks what you do for work you can come up with a playful answer before telling them your actual job or if they ask who you know there say no one you just heard music and decided to come hang out shifting the tone of a conversation from literal answers to humor obviously will make people laugh but it also gets them more interested in your honest answer since you're demonstrating that you've got uncommon levels of confidence and this takes us to the last point which is actually a core tenet of confidence that makes doing all the behaviors we already mentioned much easier confidence is easier to feel when you have lots of positive reference experiences so you want to purposely create experiences that feel like social wins now since johnny depp is a movie star he hasn't had to do this people have responded enthusiastically to him almost all of his life without any particular effort but it still had the effect of making him comfortable moving at his own slower pace and displaying non-reaction-seeking body language fame made people respond well to him which increased his confidence which made people respond even better and on and on and on you can get the same feedback loop working in your favor without the fame by creating and appreciating small wins that may mean being proud for cracking a joke to a cashier even if it doesn't go over as you might hope or for giving yourself just a little bit extra room for thoughtful silence before answering a tough question in an argument or an interview when you allow yourself to appreciate those small wins instead of focusing on what you could have done better it feeds that positive reference loop over the long term you get more and more confident because you have so many memories of feeling good when you put yourself out there socially it doesn't matter that the winds were small simply that you let yourself feel them and if you're looking for the fastest way to create those social wins you might be interested in our course charisma university it's a step-by-step program that guides you on exactly what small things to do each day to massively build your confidence and charisma over 9000 people have already joined and here is what just a few of them have had to say about it the first is from a guy who was interviewing for new jobs he says i interviewed at dozens of places for jobs after medical school at the end of one of my interview days the doctor pulled me aside and said that i hands down had the best interview out of everybody and they would love to have me at their program they ranked me number one and it's my current job another person wrote about their social life saying it has been truly incredible i've instantly had results that seem insane so many more meaningful connections my friendships have improved and my interactions with total strangers are new exciting fulfilling thing i want to recommend this to everyone this should be in our basic education system and this last one is from someone who says that the course has been life-changing and he says your course has been life-changing to the point where i wake up in the mornings feeling like i've been transferred to a new person's body the person i kept dreaming about becoming before i found charisma on command it is incredible i found myself and i found what makes me happy and you can see more success stories like these in the comments if you decide to join the course if you do so it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100 for any reason at all and i make it 60 days even though the course is only 30 because i want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value out of the course otherwise you can just refund so if you want to check the course out go ahead click the link on screen now or below in the description we've had thousands of members go through this course get a ton out of it introverts extroverts men and women from all over the globe and i would love for you to do the same either way i hope that you enjoyed this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next one

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 775,731

Keywords: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, charisma on command johnny depp, charisma on command amber heard, amber heard vs johnny depp, johnny depp trail, amber heard trail, how to stay calm under pressure, how to become confident, how to be confident, how to be confident in any social situation, how to be fearless, amber heard vs johnny depp trial, amber heard trial 2022, johnny depp trial 2022 highlights

Id: xdzwmRboPlE

Length: 11min 35sec (695 seconds)

Published: Mon May 30 2022