Break Away From Negative Thoughts & Experience Life | Kip Hollister | TEDxBeaconStreet

I have a question by a show of hands how many of you feel good about yourself I have asked this question in front of thousands and less than 10% raised their hand welcome to being human we all struggle with insecurities and these insecurities can really hold us back from being engaged in our life and I've always believed that to feel really good about ourselves it's important as I call it to be lit up in life it's important to connect with our passion and our purpose for the past three decades I have been running a really successful staffing organization we get people jobs and this concept of being passionate of life is one that I have brought into the fabric of my organization I am really committed to my staff being lit up I want them feeling good about themselves and to feel as if they are contributing so at the core of my being I'm really shy and I'm an introvert more than an extrovert and I'm very familiar with these feelings of insecurity I want to share with you my story today and how I move through my insecurities and tapped into that passion and purpose so you can do the same I started to not feel good about myself when I was a kid I was four of five children and I one of my sister's was 18 months older than me and I constantly was comparing myself to her I felt like she was prettier and more popular and thinner than me to make matters worse I in the fourth grade was put in the lowest level reading group though red fruit you can imagine what that made me feel that's the first time that I heard this negative chatter going on in my head it was this judge it was this judge or this critique saying not work I'm not good enough I'm not smart enough we all hear that chatter right sometimes it's louder than others in fact humor me and close your eyes for a minute and I just want to ask you how are you feeling about yourself open your eyes so were you judging were you self-doubting were you criticizing did you feel awesome did you feel connected those are the thoughts constantly running through us and I learned that there are over 70,000 thoughts that run through our head on a daily basis and 80% of them are negative 80 percent think about it as a kid I really struggled and tried to figure out what to do with these thoughts as a Presbyterian ministers child I went to Hebrew school and catechism with my friends all to search for meaning I was lonely and then I was searching and moving through high school and college and still searching for this meaning of life really out not fitting in and my family thought for sure I would join a cult my first job in Boston I met a mentor who introduced me to this ancient tradition meditation and it was through this experience of meditation that I connected with my inner self and I had this huge Epiphany here's what I learned I learned that oh my gosh this negative chatter going on in my mind is not real these limiting beliefs are not real it's made up and all of the sudden I felt like that's what had held me back in my life so far it's as if I had a speed limit on my life who wants to go 45 miles an hour and once I discovered this I started to practice more and more and then I started to thrive in my job and I was in sales and I was on fire why because I started feel good about myself I had confidence and then when I was 26 I with this new sense of confidence in belief in myself somehow I had the courage to open up my own company and we started to thrive why because I was passionate about what I did and I was also committed to helping others be passionate about what they did so I wanted to find someone the dream job and I also want to have people come into my company that wanted to help create a culture that was lit up through two recessions I got through those two recessions practicing meditation I had this laser focus so I was able to let go of all of the external stimuli and circumstances and stay centered and this was a really great gift and this company grew over the next two decades and then the third recession hit and when the third recession hit for whatever reason I had trouble going inward and practicing what I knew worked and instead I panicked and I felt like I have to fix things and I was living on four and five hours of sleep my cell phone was on 24/7 and I was on it and I was absolutely exhausted and in this time there was no meditation experience other than what I call that drive by experience introspection on the go so I was totally submerged in being a CEO a wife and a mother to four wonderful children and I imploded and I knew I said things have to change what do I do and so it was one day when I was driving home 45-minute drive home from work and I realized I didn't know what route I had taken I had no clue and this is when I said to myself you got to change things have to change I was not passionate I was lonely and I was lost so what I did is I said I have to I have to do something I started to go inside and this another thing that happened in this time is that these limiting beliefs kicked in and I started to say to myself I'm not a good leader I'm not good enough I am not worthy and then I knew that I had turn inward for self-reflection it was not an easy process and I had to get quiet again because I remembered that this is what had gotten me to this point so far so I took time and here's what quiet looks like quiet is sitting with no cell phone even in the room no TV no papers no people no distractions and I started to meditate again and in meditation I discovered wow when we're so stressed out why do we give up on taking care of ourselves what why does that happen and I became centered again I can't became focused again and this experience was so enriching for me so I wanted to make this experience permanent I wanted this change to be permanent in me so I knew what to do I said I have to just set this vision and commit to it and stick to it and take action now this realization was both exhilarating and terrifying first step I went into my VP of Finance and I said we will be building a huge meditation room can you imagine his look oh boy I said uncommitted I want my staff to be able to have a space where they can self reflect so that they don't spiral down the way I did and furthermore I want to teach them I want to teach them how to recognize those limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs so that they can learn self-awareness and be more productive successful and happy in life and then I thought what if I took this a step further what if I went out into the community with this so I got really excited about this I had the vision of opening up and release our limiting beliefs and I shared this with my leadership team my board of advisers and my friends and family and things didn't go as I planned I got shut down it isn't the time for this Boston is not ready for this you'll jeopardize your brand you will ruin your company I was devastated I could not imagine how connected I was with my passion and purpose and I felt so shut down and I knew I could make an impact on the community so I had to go inside again and I self reflected and here's what I did I said to myself you know what these voices that I'm hearing have clicked in again because that you know the the roaring lion lion of my limiting beliefs just love what those people were saying to me and I had to assure that to the side and stay focused and listen to my intuition because my intuition always tells me the truth and so the Institute would become a reality so I went back to my leadership team and I said we're making this a go we're moving forward because if I don't move forward I will live to regret it to which they said they were on board and that was three years ago since that time we've trained over 500 people and we have connected people through mindfulness and teaching emotional intelligence so that they are released they are released and they can live more limitless lives so I asked you what are you passionate about and is there anything that's holding you back and if so what price are you paying emotionally physically spiritually these are challenging times for many I wonder what it would be like if you were able to acknowledge those negative thoughts and let them go and then turn the volume and the noise down on your limiting beliefs what would open up for you and what would be possible unlimited possibilities no speed limit I encourage you to take time out every day for self-reflection even if it's 10 minutes a day it can make a world of difference and this is where you can connect with your inner your inner self so that you can define and understand your passion so that you're able to make the right decision for whatever you want in your life I am living the most lit of life I have ever had in years and I'd like the same for you you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 827,808

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Health, Happiness, Mental health, Mindfulness, Personal education, Personal growth

Id: DEwnjxPqR6A

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 04 2017