Born In The Wrong Body | The Summer Camp | Full Documentary

[Music] more and more little boys are telling their parents they wish they were born as little girls it's an emotive and potentially distressing subject that continues to divide opinion and tear families apart in America one group of parents have made the controversial step of organizing a secret summer camp for transgender kids and their families now for the first time ever and after a year of negotiations the organizers have agreed to open up their doors and allow a film crew into the camp one of the organizers is mom of four Sabrina camp is a special place where families from around the country can come together and just be and not have to worry about any of the you know what our children face every day Sabrina and her husband Chris first got involved with the camp because they were determined to support their only son Ryan when Ryan was boy I was born male right actually the first point in my family so he was just like oh boy blond hair blue eyes typically boy and around two years old we started noticing that Ryan liked you know pink and sparkles and we thought that was sort of strange after a few months realizing this isn't some phase my wife started researching it online and discovered this whole community of parents with children that identified as transgender even in an early age at the age of three Ryan's parents finally accepted that their only son was transgender one time my grandma got me a spider-man and Batman shirt and I'm like I don't want it and she's like you like my mom I kind of person like how I am gender Marian because when I went to the camp for the first time and I was skeptical and so I was like to my mom they're not like me no they're different Robert just like no they're the same as you they're also well I mean boy wants to be a girl Ryan no longer wants to be referred to as he now age 12 she is dreading the physical changes that come with male puberty and is on the verge of starting hormone blocking injections to delay it I have to me I'm going to take blockers soon blockers are shots that help prevent my exertion side effects from puberty like hair in the armpit up here and my voice deepening so far it's not deepening which I'm happy I'm a late bloomer locusts will stop Ryan from becoming more manly making it easier to undergo gender reassignment surgery in the future the upcoming camp will be a rare opportunity for Sabrina to discuss such huge decisions with other parents when this was one of Ryan's outfits from a couple years ago if you have a child that's not picture perfect cookie cutter you're going to have it harder that's just how that goes Camp is where you have that freedom to say you know this stinks and I wish it weren't like this or I feel like this or how did you work through this it's very easy to be isolated it's very easy to create a wall around you it's just not conducive to you or your children with camp just days away Sabrina and Ryan are heading out to buy supplies I have the glow sticks already bubbles bubbles are always fun right unlike boys their age the transgender children attending camp will be dressing up as princesses and getting makeovers at the top of the shopping list are glitter tiaras and feather boas it was a glitter on it they're sparkly well yeah glitter glue and - groans I'm just looking for the fashion shop we need pins yes oh no this is cool look it's body art and its got like stencils followers who doesn't love boas okay what do you think this is a good color or should we get a different color we have about half the new families that are coming that are new and half our veterans and they walk in and they see this table full of things that they feel comfortable with that speaks to them bees fairy dust alright good so we got these and that's what it this is you want them to be able to feel like they fit right in this is their this is their thing this is very this is their domain girls come on don't hit yourself this is offered camp camp the camp has its critics and sabrina has learned that it's sometimes better to be vague about the details it's um a camp for families that you know have kids who get to just be expressed and safe fun what did you do alright good five days we're in the countdown so winners just coming in under the wire and getting everything ready and there's much more to do much more to do all very much worth it so it's coming up quick [Music] the camp will welcome children from across America some attending for the first time some seasoned regulars for whom camp is the highlight of their year so this is my dressing table this is all my makeup which I use on a daily basis I don't just a small bit of mascara some eyeliner and a little bit of blush sometimes born max Maxie wanted to be a girl from the age of two now aged 11 this year is her fourth camp the first time I went to camp I was like and I was like I'm just gonna be quiet and play on my phone and be you know hoodie and then I met other friends and I was like oh my gosh and every year we went back last time there was this thing in the water that was so discussing it smelled really bad and we really we jump in the water really literally just screaming like who is so fun and we went on the canoes or we tipped over one of my friends didn't go and I was really sad because I wanted to see him I think was a him or her I don't know I couldn't really tell what should I say it we don't want to say it them them I really wanted to see them at camp every moment we're like we're transgender so we're friends like it has nothing really to do with that it's sort of does but it's just mostly because we just connect and I guess it has mostly to do with how we're transgender but they're nice and they're like they're just really good friends to have so that's what makes it if they were mean and transgender I probably wouldn't be friends with them it's like wow you're mean but I guess you're transgender so we can be besties maxi's parents realized they were dealing with a transgender child at an early age it was clear from the get-go that Maxie had an alternative gender identity and then when she went to school and suddenly gender is a huge thing right it determines where you're gonna line up and who you're gonna sit with and what you're going to be able to do that's when it really became very distressing I went into her room and I was tucking her in and I saw her doing this and what she was saying was dear God please make me a girl let me wake up a girl I realized that that's how she was putting herself to sleep every night so far Maxie has had little trouble passing as a girl but as she gets older things will only get harder and with junior high school starting off the camp rumors are already spreading I know it was a few days ago we just got scared Maxie now has no choice but to consider revealing her transgender identity at school I've been having some trouble there was going some rumors about me and really dumb rumors that were it didn't even make sense like they were really stupid this is one of the things that I as a brother am very nervous about know that she's in the sixth grade because she's about to go through the next three foreign and in high school especially some of the hardest years of her journey because that's when kids really start to just during this stage where they are changing themselves becoming harsher and meaner it's natural it happens to everyone really and I'm that's something I'm very nervous about this year's camp may be Maxie's last chance to be with other kids who accept her for who she really is in middle school they're getting to the point where they're starting to understand it more and they're starting to see like the surgery and the hormones and all that which they didn't understand then and then they're gonna be like what you know and they're not gonna agree and they're gonna be really like harsh about it at camp life is so different it's so much better and it's happier it's just open and it's just like you have no secrets you have nothing to hide hiding is a way of life for many transgender kids with bullying and ridicule ever-present fears but hidden in a forest in America's Midwest maxie and others like her can finally feel free [Music] [Music] at camp the transgender children and their families can play as they wish but it often seems to revolve around one thing lipstick [Music] the next four days could be life-changing for these children you know there's like workshops and there's events for the kids but more than anything it is just a haven for or five days of haven for these families and kids [Music] it's day 2 at the camp for transgender girls who are born boys and maxi and Ryan are in their element the camp activities include swimming dressing up and arts and crafts all building up to the big event at the end of the week the fashion show but up next for the kids and their siblings is the talent contest often transgender kids are withdrawn in everyday life but here they hog the spotlight [Music] [Music] next up its camp newcomer Lindsay will be singing in public for the first time since changing from boy to girl the eight year old has been preparing for months boy am i going going going and has even made her own dress [Music] it ends right here and it goes around this side then it ends in the back like right here so and it's got a little bit of hang down and this and it has butterflies on it [Music] hey might represent Katy Perry pretending to be Pocahontas because it's unique for Lindsay singing in front of an audience is a massive deal I sing in my sleep I sing I sing while I get dressed I sing while I eat I sing like well I'm in the car singing I like watch TV school just a year ago Lindsay loved nothing better than to perform but a year ago Lindsay was very different at the start of second grade this was my precious Connor this is the before and here's the after this is this year yes I didn't see this is Lindsay and she's Connor here and she is very much going between now this is me singing this as a boy now I'm singing it as a girl you're gonna sing a boy win right now since transitioning from boy to girl Lindsay has felt more comfortable in her own body but at eight years old she's still learning about how the outside world might react she knows that her situation is not usual she knows that most of the boys feel like boys and she doesn't she'll do a lot of quiet things by herself drawing she's in her head a lot as well what's wrong with me is what she said before and to be able to show her the big wide world there's a whole great big range of diversity out there I want to show her with camp that she is not so very different that there are other people in the world like her Lindsay has spent hours practicing for her performance in the talent show with her grandmother Catherine Lindsey's transition from boy to girl has been hard for her grandmother to come to terms with one year ago I was pushing back and I wrote a long letter to Carrie and Trevor of all the reasons why this was just not a good idea my concerns was that she was leading the way for attention and a melodramatic little girl little boy rather while catherine has learned to accept the change dad Trevor is still struggling with his only son becoming his only daughter I grew up in the suburbs of Dublin yeah the foothills of the width of mountains what do you think it would be like being back home hmm I have the suspicion that it would if I was back home that we would be hiding this a lot more we'd probably have to change our entire group of friends the Ireland that I left 10 years ago would not have been ok with this transgender situation both myself and Carrie have felt a sense of loss for Connor I didn't really know how to relate to her anymore [Applause] ever learned on play but I remember our King creature has a life has a spirit [Music] dear sister [Music] [Music] for us camp was very much all of us as a family accepting Lindsay for who she is I suppose it was a further affirmation of the fact that Lindsay is Lindsay when I got up on stage I just felt [Music] one of this year's returning kids is Maxie having known she wanted to be a girl since the age of two camp is one of the only places she can share her secret I think it's like really awesome how a lot of people it can get together the same like stuff going on and we could just like be out with it and not like the embarrassed and that's pretty cool but as she gets older looking female will become more difficult for eleven-year-old Maxie sometimes I think to myself is it the right thing to be transgender like so many people are hating on you and so many people spread rumors about you and say it's so bad and horrible that sometimes I think twice should I just be a boy should I just like not be Who I am and then it's I just cry about it and I talked to them about it and my mom you know and that's a lot of the stuff I've been thinking about this year being trans can be isolating and over 40% of adult transgender Americans have attempted suicide something the camp was set up to try and address it can also be difficult for parents to adjust to having a transgender child it's not something that I would have chosen first as a path it's hard to to say I mean what what sometimes you dream of as a parent is your kid is going to excel at some sports or some academic but if you were to say you're going to raise a child that's you know gender diverse and is gonna go through all of the challenges that it takes it's that's really difficult there wasn't I wouldn't wish that upon anyone no sorry you know we can't choose we don't choose any quality that our child has I would wish upon any parent the children that we have as Maxie and the kids at camp approach puberty their parents are faced with a decision that few others could even conceive whether to stop male puberty using hormone suppressing drugs no information at all so the first time I ever heard of blockers was at camp I was almost five and they were talking about it and it scared the heck that that that we were like my husband weak towards it we're not doing this blockers are a divisive topic and kids who go on to transition are unlikely to ever be able to have children of their own I said well maybe you'll be with the fee [Applause] [Laughter] Sabrina's child Ryan has only recently decided to start blockers but Frank's daughter Maxie has been on them for nearly a year she has no idea she just wants to feel normal going into school and with her friends and be who she is we're in the car driving why did God make me this way I don't want to live and just completely you know sobbing and rip the heart out of him because this is not what you want to get the feel and and we knew I mean it was no matter how difficult it is to give a shot and then it is kind of odd to give that shot she gets uplifted after she hasn't because for her she was for our child she was she tried to cut herself one time she wanted to cut it off it didn't belong [Music] hidden away in the American Midwest a group of unusual children are enjoying a summer youth for girls who were born as boys although traditional summer camp activities are on offer the kids are more interested in making themselves look as feminine as possible the activities coordinator Callum is working at the transgender camp for the first time originally from Manchester he's never met a group of kids like this before my words stained England I definitely won't have heard about this I would have known about this kind of group these kind of people it's upsetting that it makes me feel as though from where I'm from might not necessarily accept this [Music] temperatures are soaring and it's time for the trans kids and their siblings to cool off in the pool when boys become girls swimming costumes can cause all sorts of issues swimming could be a problem for these kids in the fact that obviously girls wear certain bathing suits and if these are young men certain things might show and certain people might notice and ask questions and it's obviously a big confidence issue but I found that here they're so open and the kazir in such a group they were all the same and I think you realize you'd have to try and fit into the norm you can just do what makes you happy at camp the children are free to do what they want and wearing a swimming costume is a huge moment it's kind of hard when I draw bathing suit I see a like shorts or a skirt over it yeah Bart will be noticeable that's a nice way to put it for the transgender kids at Camp some embarrassment in the pool is only a hint of what's to come with male puberty about to start their voices and bodies will become more manly making it harder to pass as girls [Music] eleven-year-old Maxie is already taking blockers the divisive hormone suppressing drugs that cost nearly 10,000 pounds a year the medicine is so that she doesn't go through male puberty and that would just be disastrous yeah every time it's over I'm always excited you know one step closer to being like the full woman that's why we push through it at the end of the day I have a happy child it's very expensive and that's a lot of the anxiety and giving the injection because it's so expensive dollars a shot like injecting crystals and my like mix the microspheres thoroughly by gently shaking the syringe until the powder forms a uniform suspension okay yeah little nervous yeah [Music] all right 90 degrees into the muscle no blood do you feel the burn Maxie um a little bit yeah good job mommy thank you I felt the burn it's gotten easier though yeah is it all out of your leg the same it's always scary like you're gonna cry I often ask myself are we doing the right thing but you know I don't feel like it's been my decision I really just got out of her way I just am letting her be who she is I have this dream of my husband like taking care of me and he's like kissing me every second yeah it's not always about being fabulous and beautiful and sparkly and terrific for you it's about being nurturing and having that kind of receptive feminine energy and I mean there's all of that if I only cared about being very extremely girly and being sparkly and being be outfits and everything and I would be a man but then there's this feeling inside you that you can really tell for sure saying like girl girl girl this is who you are you know for now blockers mean Maxie can continue to appear feminine and get back to having fun with her friends [Music] for their short time at camp the transgender kids take every available chance to appear as feminine as they can [Music] anyway although she actually does good songs yeah Kim Kardashian is nothing here something nothing today Calum is attempting to engage the kids and their siblings in a more rugged activity paddle board but with camp ending soon some of the kids refuse to let go of the makeup and dresses knowing that these were young boys transition into girls it was hard for me to find different activities for them to do which would suit them basically they didn't want to do very masculine very boyish things [Music] when I were kids who were transgender I find that they just did this about every other kids there's nothing different a [Music] young boy you know thinks he's a young girl and it's going to that transition if he feels there is a young girl he is he acts the same way he is the same believes and it just needs that kind of confidence to Alan so he knows that he's safe after a shaky start camp first-timer Lindsey has found her feet and even picked up a new friend [Music] [Music] tell you what they might be honest I know this dress thing I just might use it Israel [Music] [Music] it's almost the end of camp and preparations are underway for the biggest event of the schedule the fashion show the transgender children all have their favorite activities but the fashion show is the most popular it's their last chance to dress as girls amongst like-minded kids before having to return to their normal lives the fashion show is really the highlight but they'll never forget for the whole year line yeah that was moments when they're on the stage doing their thing and applaud it so these shoe racks are real just says let me change this is body art so if you are like do a design on your skin on your face you can do that and there's little beads right here they stick on the shimmer like Maxie Ryan has decided she will soon start hormone blocking drugs to delay male puberty but mum sabrina is still unsure whether she'll go on to have gender reassignment surgery later in life it is concerning for Ryan going on blockers because she is I mean at 12 she wants to have her own children and she knows that if she goes on blockers and then transitions she couldn't because she won't have developed you know as a man to be able to do that she won't have developed sperm she won't have it for her it's heartbreaking there's just not a right answer so we don't know the sum account for transgender kids and their families is reaching its big finale the fashion show [Music] it's the highlight of the week and despite all the positive feedback the camp continues to meet with fierce criticism is care indoctrination no simply because there's such a freedom to be so it's not like they get there and they put on their go-go boots and you know miniskirts and their wigs and off they go you know I it just it's so open and freeing that they don't have to conform one to another it's not like oh here I make camp so now I must present fully as a girl in fact it's the freedom to not they may be free not to wear skirts and makeup but most do and tonight is their last chance to dress as the girls they long to be [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] before I started coming to camp I guess I actually was pre-owned me because when I was younger I didn't have much friends like we all have one thing in common here but I don't have in common with my friends back home those really changes a lot of things [Applause] [Music] it's all like having people go there's anything that you are going there is real comforting Julie Oh [Music] after four days time is up for the transgender children my name is Maxie and my favorite part of camp was reuniting with all the friends that I haven't seen the whole year see the friendships that form everything about this camp like going outside the tire swing the lake the pool I love watching my three kids play and enjoy themselves I really like how allow the first timers here came out of their shell I think I like most about camp just the people it's an emotional farewell as it means returning home to the problems of everyday life camp was the first time Trevor and Kerry got to meet other parents dealing with the same issues emotional will be my word it was joyful it was a lot of learning I was so thankful for the people to be open enough to share to know that you're not alone and out there dealing with the same issues I guess is just you know strengthen numbers kind of feeling eight-year-old Lindsay has made her first set of transgender friends she connected so quickly I've never seen that type of quick connection with other children and I think it's because she just recognized in them her herself yeah and she had she knew she had allies like immediately you always say that you know she's slow to warm but not here [Music] with junior high school starting once she gets home time is running out for eleven-year-old Maxie to decide whether to come out as transgender [Music] she spent the past few days thinking about whether to tell people at her new school the secret she's kept her whole life I feel like they're judging me a lot of the kids at school but then whenever someone spreads a rumor about me I could just say like not true but inside I'm hurting and I'm like it doesn't matter you know it doesn't matter if I'm transgendered or does it change my the person I am you know [Music] since camp maxi is settled in at her new school so 4 times 5 is 20 plus 1 is 21 so this is 21 over for the eleven-year-old has been worried about being exposed at school but she's recently made a critical decision with the help of her parents I think what scares me the most for maxi as that as much as there's a group of people that we have found to be supportive I think society as a whole is really struggling to wrap their head around what this is about as much as you know children that are gay are going to come out and be supported I think that it's even harder for a child who's trans maxi's decided that today she'll finally begin the process of coming out as transgender by speaking with her school principal when it comes to my friends when they ask about me being transgender and me being not like them or anything dad now I would tell the truth dad there was actually a case where good friends she she was just like there's some rumors going around about you being transgender and I was like well I am and then that I was just like it felt amazing when I said that and is that the first time you said to somebody just out yeah I did it to another friend after that you know it's interesting that you would say the word amaze it was amazing to be able to say yes cuz I feel like I love that word I think that for your friends uneven people you meet your future friends I think your comfort level you're building to say yes very casually I think will instantly make them feel at ease you know I think that you're right I think there's probably friends of yours or maybe even kids have grown up with you who may want to ask but they don't want to make it feel or make you feel uncomfortable and I think the more comfortable you are responding that will put none of these and then the conversation will go well so for you to say yeah I mean I always said it's like oh okay when I tell them yes and stuff like that it makes me feel like it's me telling the story not them they're not saying I'm a boy I'm a girl I'm transgender they're I'm the one like saying it and I feel more in control of my life and stuff and that feels really talking to Maxie I saw somebody in front of me who was I was almost ashamed of my 12 year old self to watch how confident she seemed how comfortable she seemed talking about these issues so I look forward to actually watching her journey the next couple years and I feel like now I got a little bit of insight into just some of the things that she's going to be probably wrestling with because I do feel like there'll be some bumps along the way but I feel lucky that we have her in our building I'm so glad to know that my principal supports me because it's a new school and the principal is like the main part of the school so to know that he supports me it makes me further most of the school doesn't know because it's a all the elementary schools that didn't know me and it's gonna be difficult you know telling you and stuff [Music] are you ready for it yes hmm I'm ready for it [Music] although the future is likely to be difficult for kids like Maxine this next transgender generation are refusing to keep who they are a secret it's a perhaps worries me to be out because I know that I'm gonna get a lot of heat and a lot of people are gonna hate me and that is gonna be really difficult but what encouraged me to be out was the people that are transgender the people that want to know about being transgender and even people that are against it I really want them to see that people are proud that they're transgender even if they hate me I'm not changing Who I am and becoming Who I am [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Origin

Views: 639,129

Keywords: bbc documentary, origin story, parenting, single mom, 16 and pregnant, wellbeing, mindfulness, support network, shelter, mums meet up, family lives, kensington mums, mind, mums group, mummy social, raising a child, snowplow parenting, inuit parenting, weird parenting wins, bare minimum parenting, respectful parenting, summer camp, lgbt, lgbtq, body positive, coming out story, gender identity, trans family, gender binary, trans, pride, what is a woman, whatisawoman

Id: N90m5B2jm80

Length: 44min 11sec (2651 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 30 2020