Bobby Talks About Khalyla Moving Out and the Single Life

because you've never been you've never been in the alts with me bro well oh [ __ ] yeah yeah [ __ ] I forgot on the outs about no I think after you and your girlfriend broke up I think there was a moment where you thought I was gonna try to make a move I think and I remember you being a little bit strange to me I'll tell you what I think out of all the comics that would have made a mood that you had the better chance the best chance to get in maybe that's what it was thank you I saw and I did not make a move you would never make a move not a chance brother I could name you who did I'm not getting it oh dude let me guess were they were they black or white white white the whites do that [ __ ] the blacks don't do that man they don't they're loyal bro yeah yeah man I don't know yeah dude I would never have uh try to slide in your ex are you guys are you still living with your ex-girlfriend no she moved off no yeah I didn't no she she moved a couple of blocks away was it sad when she moved out kinda yeah because the house is so dirty now oh really when you're living with a girl yeah your house is clean it's like its own filter like a filtering system yeah like oysters have that right right right right but now it's like there's cat vomit all over the place and the other day they found maggots yeah dude no yeah how many of them one maggot no they found a hundreds oh you know what it was it was like what I do you know what I've been doing this is so [ __ ] sad I know it is but you know when the girls lived up because I had Jewels live there too and the girls up there you know we would put out the cat food wet food and after the cats were done they would wash it me I just leave out more bowls of cat food right and then all of a sudden Jules was cleaning my house and then she was like she saw one of the and had been there for a month and there was just maggots in it oh yeah so um that's the sad part but it's all you know you know in the beginning it's lonely it really is because when you're living with somebody for 10 years wow and then all the life is sucked out of the house she took the dogs too yeah so like the first couple of months it was like you'd wake up it was silent um you know what I mean it was just silent in my house and it it was like I don't know how I made it through it man I was really sad about it but then like when I started bringing girls over and then eating the vajans man oh wow down there huh hello I'll take the specs off for that yeah hey let me start hooking up right because you know I haven't done that for a long time but that's kind of sad though isn't it like there's some it gets kind of sad just some gal comes over and you you know and you hook up and then she did she now are these women are these women sleeping overnight are these women going home one of them spent the night it was okay so there's one girl that I was seeing and like this is maybe seven months ago and I was like oh this is I like this girl a lot and then other the blue she goes I met someone younger by no and then I I looked them up down younger than an Asian I know it was a baby oh yeah you're getting a baby he's eight months old yeah yes no um this dude it hurt my feelings but this dude look like Brandon Lee bro who's Brandon Lee I don't know man no he was Bruce Lee's son Bruce Lee's son the crowd he died oh yeah he died got shot I remember that yeah he was the first one to do that you know what I mean oh wow he was handsome handsome dude this dude was he looked this her so she goes I met someone younger I looked him but that's what he looks like oh man and then you see photos of them like at pool parties and he's ripped no yeah so I was like oh you're more together then you know you're body styles no I wouldn't say I wouldn't use the term ripped probably yeah I mean but what else about him no but no what I'm saying though dude is like just just said that I'm fat I don't think you're fat at all I think you but I'm the opposite of ripped I wouldn't see I would say you're I wouldn't say ripped I would say you're ripe conjoined or conjoined yeah or joint I would say you're there's two people in one body like assignment like a Siamese twin thing I think we could carve one off of you that's me it did we get carved a little yeah yeah I got some way dude can I be honest with you Doctor yeah I haven't seen you in a while you gained a little bit too dude yeah yeah you know what I mean and you got a weird tan huh I do I love it and healthy look healthy thank you anyway so she started she goes I met someone and it broke my heart and then I'm like but now I I met somebody you did yeah man what what's up we're at you met her online in here dude no you better than the DMS remember when I saw you in that movie you were just swiping people were sending you wieners and uh breasts and everything oh we were doing that movie yeah no but I met this girl after that okay yeah I met this girl I don't want because it's new but it's like um she was the first person that I kind of want I'm like I kind of like I like her you know aside from the girl that betrayed me with the Brandon Lee you know what I mean but um yeah I like this new one you know she's uh yeah she said something horse and you know what dude bro let me just be honest with you yeah I [ __ ] I [ __ ] oh man I love wholesome you do yeah I love church going when they make sweaters what do you call that um when they're knitting uh no a crochet crochet knitting whatever I mean I like it when they have they're like I've never seen Good Fellas yeah right oh you can show them that it blows their mind yeah yeah I never seen The Departed yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah or it's like they only this girl that I'm seeing she only likes um Taylor Swift oh yeah you know what I mean so then you can open her mind up to like her good music too you know yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean like this is good music right here I mean the Clash or whatever but I like wholesome dude she goes to church wow twice every Sunday really yeah what um ethnicity like what church ethnicity is she what do you mean like what uh I've never heard church ethnicity you know uh denomination sorry oh I see I don't know the one with the cross oh yeah yeah it has to do with the cross it has nothing to do with other things yeah I'm like an alien or whatever Protestant yeah yeah yeah it's it's one of those mega churches so it's like one of those born-again you know how they do the Harvest Crusade yeah in like a huge Stadium Jesus that's the one I'm from they have that in Oklahoma or whatever yeah that's a good shirt yeah I have a resentment towards you I just realized yeah yeah yes sir what is it about you think and this is not a lie I swear to God I swear to God on my life okay so you know it's real right I don't know but yeah I'm listening what do you mean yeah okay okay whatever yeah I believe three times okay on hinge when I was on it and two times on Raya I matched with a girl and in the direct message they said yo I don't want to hurt your feelings but um I'm not really I didn't match with you because I wanted to hook I I want to hook up with Theo can you set me up damn and bro you didn't set me up how hard would that have been I made that birthday video for you dude oh [ __ ] never looked at it that way yeah you think so I already have been when you know your boys out here yeah looking for love oh [ __ ] my bad okay look at the Lord's lost and found out here lost you know what so you just told me like I was selfish about it huh yeah yeah so I could have been like yo I know you were you're so hot and I was excited when you matched with me yeah because I thought you liked you know I mean the way I looked yeah and my comedy but you know you think I'm disgusting but yeah here's my boy's number because I just talked to him and he wants to link up you think that should have happened I think it would have been the move I think because here's what I'm saying they say if you give it you give it away you know you give it away the more people you give it away to the more it comes back you know what dude maybe you're right you know I looked at it in a selfish way then but you have to admit dude that that hurts your feeling you would that hurt your feelings I think it probably at some point in my life it would have now I don't think it would have I've had I've had buddies steal a girl that I liked and I I think it yeah made me mad but then I think like well if they're together then I'm not supposed to be with that girl oh dude you know you're looking in a spiritual way to like everything happens for a reason I think you are dude I also put an air in a girl's shampoo one time who broke up with me when I was in college so I say I get it I get it so yeah I mean so I guess those ladies because I've been I've been scolding them online you know on podcasts yeah hey lady if you whoever you are you [ __ ] you [ __ ] and all that stuff damn really yeah I do I get resentful dude you have a lot of resentment towards women do you think honestly or no here's what I'm resentful about dude girls are you I hate their girls that back in the day like I'm talking about 20 years ago I hit on you're like no but now they want to link up yeah you know what I mean now they want to now they want to link up now now that you're the top dumpling they want to [ __ ] get in the sauce huh yeah I'm one of the top I mean in terms of dominance dude yeah I'm in the bowl yeah yeah I mean I mean I made it into the bowl dude there's like eight dumplings in there you know now that you're the big now that you're the boss Bond me they wanna yeah they wanna get a bite out of here yeah yeah but it's like now they're like you know wanting to but it's like [ __ ] you yeah you know what I mean but it's like well I have yeah you know what dude and what's great about being how old are you me I'm 43. the greatest I'm 52 now dude he just turned 52. yeah thanks man I'll take that bug that's not from your apartment is that some of the things that you have in there is it no you don't leave those in here man we just got this place I didn't bring that I'm gonna say you just told me your place got shut I didn't bring it okay well I don't bring bugs around bro that's [ __ ] cray-cray one of your stories was at your places I know but it's not like they're like you know being like hey let me hitch a ride well I just one just flew off of you dude that's the only reason I'm asking me yeah anyway you seem like a great guy go on yeah I just want to let you know at 52 though [ __ ] it like that sucks dude it's just not that important anymore yeah do you understand what I'm saying oh yeah man I've like he used to be number one dude but were you ever were you ever honestly were you ever were you ever any good at sex honestly like were you ever bro that's so insulting dude no but honestly I'm great okay then maybe I'm gonna say something dude I have two forums yeah slow form and long form okay do you understand what I mean by that man all right let me think slow form and long form yeah yeah okay so sometimes I go short oh yeah I go quick oh yeah so that involves rabbit sewing machine style yeah yeah right yeah and then I do long struggs oh you know oh yeah and that I could do an hour on that yeah it's like a manatee swimming oh like a small Manatee like a manatee oh whatever yeah whatever dude bro who wants to a big huge wiener that's all cumbersome yeah yeah yeah you know you have to have a buddy hold it while you tie your shoes yeah I don't want all like I don't like checking in my bags at the airport dude I bring it on yeah you know that's what I do but I have those forms and it's like um but that's back in the day do you enjoy it though do you enjoy sex as much as you used to you think no but I could take I I can go without it yeah you know like when I was in my 20s I would like stay up all night hitting on a girl like you know you see a girl at a bar what do you mean hitting on a girl you mean masturbating at home or what do you really mean because I was I'd be at the house yeah no I mean when you know like if you were out like when you're in your early days of stand up right oh yeah in the early days you met a girl on the road and you they were like on the fans I would like stay hang out with them till four in the morning but now it's like I would never do that yeah like if I was like if a girl walked in right now and this is the truth she goes hey so next door I'm at a hotel when you come over you know let's [ __ ] and I'd be like how far is it yeah next door I go I would go let's do it right here wow look at me right here like in front of you like let's save them up I'm not moving for it right would you move forward uh let me think to Next Door yeah I'd probably pop over there you know all right maybe that was a extreme example right but you're saying like uh Encino you're not going far out of here yeah I'm not gonna go to NC now yeah I'm not gonna yeah you're not gonna get out a map or something yeah

Channel: Theo Von Clips

Views: 1,549,487

Keywords: Theo von, this past weekend, theo von podcast, this past weekend podcast, tpw, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, jre, joe rogan podcast, brendan schaub, bryan callen, the fighter and the kid, below the belt, tfatk, theo von brendan schaub, king and the sting, king and the sting podcast, chris delia, chris delia podcast, joey diaz, bert kreischer, tom segura, bobby lee, tigerbelly, Clip, Highlight, Theo Von Clip, Theo Von Highlight, Congratulations

Id: dHLj8azZj5k

Length: 14min 17sec (857 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 21 2023