Black Mental Health Matters | Phillip J. Roundtree | TEDxWilmington

[Applause] when you look at me what do you see now I'm gonna go through some of the things that I typically here to the various dude I usually get I'm black I'm bearded and I'm strong I also get I look like NBA superstar James Hart I'm most definitely the poor version I get hip-hop superstar Emmy Award winner Donald Glover aka childish gambino yeah that's you right and last but not least I get Curtis Jackson aka 50 cent now one of my goals is definitely to get rich or die trying I think Sallie Mae is putting the emphasis on or die trying right but see what I don't hear is Phil you look like somebody that lives with depression and anxiety Phil you look like somebody that was suicidal for 15 years every day five to six times a day they don't say Phil you look like somebody that was driving on Interstate 95 wanting to crash your car to end your life no because see here in America when we think about mental health we think about the homeless man who's walking the streets talking nonsensically to themselves we think about the the white celebrity who takes their life via suicide we think about the the white mass murderer who goes into a high school and takes the lives of innocent children or beasts usually your president who loves the tweet venom from the hip but see rarely does the conversation speak of a father of two kids someone who possesses a master's in exercise science a Masters in Social Work somebody pursuing a doctorate rarely is it a person of color rarely is it a black man like myself until now because black mental health matters now you may be asking yourself what is black mental health and why is it differentiated amongst racial and ethnic lines black mental health are the individual and collective experiences that influence the wellness of a community trauma is the biggest influencer of black mental health we're talking about historical trauma slavery Jim Crow the civil rights movement the Tuskegee Experiment up until present day trauma when you see somebody that looks like you get killed in their home rest in peace both them gene when you see somebody who's living with mental wellness issues get killed by the police rest in peace laQuan McDonald of Chicago Illinois or when you see somebody that looks like you get killed by somebody that looks like you rest in peace xxx concezione see when we talk about trauma trauma is unique to the individual and I'm no different there were three impactful traumatic situations that I've experienced in my life outside of the genetic predisposition because my grandmother lived with schizophrenia i harken back to being an eighth grade 13 years of age on the way to school my mother has a nervous breakdown she's crying she's pulling at her clothes in her hair she's cursing I felt helpless because I couldn't help her or I couldn't and I couldn't help myself and see I was expected to continue to go into school that day and achieve it's funny when I when I first started telling this story I told my mother listen I'm telling the story of when you had a nervous breakdown and she said so that didn't happen now I know I'm getting older I have a few grades right but I swear I remember that and then she called me a week later and she said Phil I didn't know you remembered that as if I wouldn't remember the most traumatic situation that I've experienced in my life and typically happen often expected to just continue on because we are so resilient as a people because we do survive and we survive for hundreds of years and I was expected to survive and go into school that day and perform and I did because like many of us I learned how to suppress my emotions and my feelings but what if I didn't what if I went into school and I started arguing with peers and fighting what if I started arguing with the teachers what if I did criminalistics within the community would I be deemed encouraged Abul and then unable to be in the school setting in a community setting or would anybody care that I just experienced this traumatic situation that has impacted me fast forward to my 12th grade year 17 years of age January 2001 my mother said Phil come downstairs she said Phil your brother Bobby died and I started crying that was probably the only healthy coping skill that I had at the time right because being a product of the hip-hop culture hip-hop tells me when somebody dies you either go out and get some liquor or you go get a rest in peace' tattoo well I wasn't old enough to drink that would happen once I got to college right but I went out and I got this wrestling piece tattoo as if that was going to do something if that was want to take away the pain of losing a primary relationship it didn't and people asked me feel well how did your brother die say the opioid epidemic is as popular now but in the black community in the hip-hop community especially amongst black male it's always existed he was one who liked to use codeine and xanax I don't know what he was trying to cope with I will never know I went to school that Monday because I didn't have anybody to say Phil stay home because my mother was was going through it because she just lost her only child and I went to school feeling all of this emotion and I remember it like yesterday I was sitting in computer class mrs. Williams my computer teacher came up to me and I don't know what she said she said Phil she could have said Phil what was the score of the Eagles game last night I let her have it I blacked on her I cursed her out why because I had all this built-up anger all this built-up rage because see when we're talking about depression and anxiety for black men especially it doesn't look like somebody laying in bed for six and seven days on end no it manifests itself through anger and rage I ended up getting suspended that day and Miss Williams and I were able to laugh at the situation years later because I was able to cope with it and understand what I was feeling but again it was a moment in time that impact of my life my third and final story happened at Bloomsburg University in Bloomsburg Pennsylvania again we've remembers formatic situations and I remember it like it was yesterday I call it the Jews story right because when I go fill out job applications and it says have you ever been convicted of a crime as long as it doesn't say mr. Meanor a felony I can I can ignore it if it says that but if he says have you ever been convicted of a crime I have to check it off and then I put well it all started with a cup of juice and then the employers they laugh like oh man and I laugh like hahaha that's my life so the juice story is I was coming from the gym to go get me something to eat I got my food I paid for it emphasis on pay and you know how you go to McDonald's they give you a cup and you can go through that felony and get whatever drink you want and I did that and I tasted it to see water and see if it was watered down but see when you go to a predominantly white institution like Bloomsburg University it seems like they have all the minorities names on a list and she's the school police officer said Phil that stealing mind-blown and me having this anger this frustration has built up over years of trial and me not being able to express myself in a healthy way I blacked on her just like I dead miss Willie did miss Williams unbeknownst to me that would lead to 20-plus charges I ended up going to jail that night I ended up getting expelled from school I ended up doing a weekend in jail because listen they say you'll get judged by a jury of your peers with the average age in that community being 60 and over it wasn't gonna be a jury of my peers but I needed that experience I needed it and I I needed it because it told me that Phil I have to do something different I ended up appealing to get back in the Bloomsburg University and people knew me so people wanted me back and so I got back and I was focused one day my psychology professor dr. Cambon camara god blessed the dead he said Phil come talk to me about anything anytime and I took him up on that I went and talked to him not to talk about school I went to talk to him about a young lady I had been courting right and I wanted to understand why did she want me so I went to his office I'm like listen I bought her sneakers I took her to the movies I took her to dinner well my mom took her to dinner and all those things because I didn't have a job thanks mom but he said to me Phil in life you change to get something or to keep something talking about little did I know that that will become my mantra then I realized I had to change I had to work on my wellness so I can be whole it took approximately ten years because that's the average length of time that they say somebody who live with mental wellness issues that's the time that it takes for them to come to grips with it and to seek treatment for black people I think it's much longer and so within those ten years I've been on medication which quelled the suicidal ideations there no more I go to therapy every week hi dr. Val it's been so critical for me and my wellness because I decided to go from living to thriving to my black brothers and sisters you two deserve to go from living to thriving we no longer have to wear the mask we're survivors there's help now we can get help and walk out there with our heads held high and get the treatment that we need so we can go from living to thriving to my nan bled brothers and sisters will you now view the black person that you come in contact with and it might be in a negative way and recognize that you know what they might have gone through something or to see them when they excel what they had to go through to get to that point or will mental health continue to be viewed in America as Kate Spade as Anthony Bourdain as chester bennington as Robin Williams would it now include actor Sam Sarpong Lee Thompson young will it now include ten-year-old Ashanti Davis who took her life because of bullying when now represent a manual Sloane who's the reason why I'm here because in 19 years of age he decided to take his life by jumping in front of a train this isn't an indictment on you or on America this is just a public service announcement that's stating that we're here and we deserve to live and to thrive thank you [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 93,765

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Health, Depression, Feminism, Leadership, LGBT, Men, Mental health, Psychology, Self-help, Social Justice, Success

Id: meHVNJ5Y05g

Length: 13min 14sec (794 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 18 2018