Bill Maher Impersonating Trump #2

and i think i great crowds we get now we get great crowds the best yeah after the paris attacks donald trump is rising in the polls republicans think he can do the best job fighting isis because he said a few days before the attacks that he was going to bomb the [ __ ] out of isis and then somebody told him but don we've been doing that for a year we've dropped 28 000 bombs on them and don said but is the [ __ ] out of them i like that hillary clinton in her speech said talking about eyes she said it will not be quick and it will not be easy which is realism as opposed to donald trump everything it'll happen very quickly and i think i'll wipe out this very quickly national debt very quickly special debt very quickly i'll do everything very quickly oh jagger in there [Applause] i don't know what that is but that's all he does every day i'm not a trump fan but when he says jebs are stiff and if he wasn't in politics you wouldn't hire him for a job he's kind of right i mean he so uh but but i'm sure you heard donald trump at one point said that that figure is completely wrong he said it's more like 28 29 and then he went or maybe even 35 in fact i i heard because this is how he gets his information you know i heard you hear it from cliff clavin but trump doesn't even pretend he can read he just hears things i'm hearing a lot of people are saying this is his favorite news he hears it things be from a passing mental patient and trump says you know i'm automatically attracted to beautiful i just start kissing them i don't even wait when you're a star you can do anything you can grab them by the [ __ ] this is what he says grab them by the [ __ ] that came out you just see that on his big victory night he met a victory speech and he couldn't help but to the end getting in a shot and he said hillary's playing the woman card he said i got nothing against woman some i assume are good people so i'm a better friend than donald trump because i know you've been friends with him for years and yet here's what he treated about you recently wacky maureen dowd who hardly knows me makes up things i never said for her boring interviews and column on neurotic dope crazy maureen dowd the wacky comments for the failing new york times pretend she knows me well wrong which is it are you wacky or crazy if the supreme court ruled against him he would be well we have this puerto rican judge sort of am i a very nasty person puerto ricans love me but the chiquita banana soda my air she doesn't like me oh very nasty person and uh elena kagan cat lady kagan she doesn't like men i'm hearing a lot of people are saying it she's very unfair to me because i have a penis a huge beautiful penis nobody has a better penis than me i will tell you that i know this guy i know this east coast guy the guy who says i'm gonna get you a great deal i know a guy i know a guy who knows a guy who's going to get you a great deal he just took this national he took that character which is such an east coast thing that we know and he took it national and they don't they've never seen it before i hate to sound like donald trump but i predicted it i called it and people are giving me a lot of credit of course trump's response you saw that was to blame the victims threaten to withhold federal funds this is what he does every time there's a disaster wildfires mismanaged of forests [Laughter] mass shooting you should have been armed you know hurricane your island is very inconveniently located and of course no funding for the wall it's so the thing he said he would never do he just did right for 35 days he was like there will never be a deal without wall fending wolf bundy i don't know what gets higher than roger stone except like i think don jr and i'm waiting for trump to be like don jr he's my son i met him briefly and then he sat down for a lengthy interview with the new york times there were no survivors he said to the new york times i came from queens i became president i'm entitled to a great story and you know trump promised his supporters over a thousand miles a big beautiful wall he got 55 miles of offense and he they asked him about it today he said uh they said did you think your language affected this he said no i don't think so i think my language is very nice george conway and george conway is always criticizing trump and this week i guess he went too far and trump was he's a loser he's a whack job this guy is a husband from hell and oh obviously trump is mad and he of course responded intellectually i'm joking again he went right to the gutter called adam chef a little pencil little pencil neck adam schiff he is the smallest thinnest neck i've ever seen he said today i swear to god these are trump's exact words i just feel like a young man i'm so young i can't believe it i'm the youngest person i am a young vibrant man i don't know only a couple of weeks ago we're gonna do it to venezuela and now he's saying this nevada around the same thing if they do something it's gonna be very bad very bad so trump speaks in playground i can under what did he say no do-overs you can tell it does because trump is scared trump said the other day impeach was a dirty disgusting filthy words he gets over there he insults the mayor of london right away loser you know uh it sucks princess megan says she's nasty uh and then the worst he mistook the queen for stonehenge that's he's talking about the wall he's he said it's beautiful i changed the design he said this he said i made it stronger bigger better and cheaper wow the balls and now i see trump is actually quoting me not by name he calls me a third-rate comedian and he said a quite a respected comedian so i'm a third-rate respected comedian yeah now trump himself had a relatively quiet week for him he committed only like three brazenly impeachable acts so you know truly but he did fire his third national security adviser john bolton he said bolton made very big mistakes he defines victory in afghanistan this week and he said we could beat them very easily by doing certain things and i'm not talking nuclear so certain things we could do but you'd lose millions and billions of lives and i don't want to do that so the president doesn't want to lose billions of lives how about that and also he's made a big issue of the homeless right we have a homeless problem out here worst in the nation and trump is going to do something about it he says the homeless destroys cities okay do you see why i need a vacation yet trump went this is what he tweeted he said everywhere marie ivanovich went it turned bad she started off in somalia how'd that go look at this hitler speech and we've translated it for you thank you thank you we're going to make germany great again that i can tell you believe me germany doesn't win anymore england france america they're laughing at us the treaty of versailles a terrible deal we have stupid people who are our leaders really stupid people making terrible deals president hindenburg he's a stiff very low energy he built the blimp with his name on it it was a total disaster look we are going to have a military so big and so strong that we'll never have to use it okay maybe we'll use it a little bit look we don't conquer anymore we don't annex territory when i'm fiora germany is going to annex again there's going to be so much annexing you're going to get sick of annexing [Applause] and look i love the jews nobody loves the jews more than me but folks either we have a fatherland or we don't so we're gonna have to build a camp and i will make the jews pay for it when i'm done with them they'll be saying merry christmas that i can tell you all right

Channel: Mostly Bill Maher Clips

Views: 149,033

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Id: u2IxPRSm3h4

Length: 9min 59sec (599 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 09 2021