Biblical Manhood - Week 1 (An Introduction)

this yeah well good morning hope everybody is awake i know for me i set three alarms because i did not trust myself with uh this hour uh you know i'll be real real honest pastor keith he he's a he's a morning guy he wakes up every every morning and he's praying in the middle of the night and for me sometimes that's hard and so if it was hard for you to wake up today know that you were not alone uh hey guys i i'm really excited to be able to be a part of biblical manhood with you uh in fact there there hasn't really been a community in person like this in in how many months so that that really makes this special and so to to kick this morning off pastor keith asked if i would just pray and so i'm going to pray over us in just a second but i wanted to share a quick story with you and that is when i told my dad that i was ready to be a man and so it feels appropriate considering this is biblical manhood so i was about i don't know seven or eight [Laughter] so i was about seven or eight years old and every year i'd watch my my my dad and my uncles and they'd shoot all the guns and we'd be out at the property and we'd be hunting and stuff like that and so uh every year i'd ask my dad i'd say dad can i shoot the gun and he'd say no not this year we need to wait a little bit longer and then the next year i say dad can i shoot the gun and he'd say no not this year uh we we got to wait a little bit longer you're not quite old enough yet and so uh finally i was i was about eight years old and i told my dad i said dad i am a man and i can shoot the target just as good as y'all can shoot the target i can hit the deer just as good as y'all can hit the deer this is my year and so my dad just looked at me and uh we were shooting skid at the at the the moment and my dad said okay son this is this is your year you're you're gonna go ahead and uh and shoot the gun and so my uncle is overhearing this conversation about me wanting to shoot the gun and my dad finally agreeing to this and uh and he has the he has the shotgun on the table and he he he takes the the bird shot out because you know we're shooting skeet and he uh that joker you know he's one of those uncles that like will mess with you right he everybody has one of those uncles and he loads a slug into that 12-gauge shotgun and so uh those of you guys who who have shot shotgun before you know that a slug has significantly more recoil than uh say birdshot and so uh anyways i i didn't know but there was a slug shot in that 12 gauge and um you know i was eight years old i had never shot a gun before and i didn't even put the the butt of the of the shotgun on my shoulder it was kind of like i was a little bit nervous so i had it just kind of in the air and uh you know there's plenty of youtube videos on on on people like messing that up but anyways i pulled the trigger my dad was there and i want you to know that shotgun the recoil hit me so hard i said dad why did you let me shoot that gun [Laughter] and so uh man but i was so dead set on and i had it in my mind uh that that shooting a gun makes you a man i had it i had a little confused there uh but anyways it was just an experience that i had growing up where i felt like that that was uh that was something that was a rite of passage or something like that so uh i just want to say again i am so excited that everybody is here uh hopefully you have your your coffee ready to go and as we dive in my prayer is that god will just begin to speak to us as men that we can be better leaders of our home uh he can he can change us while we're at work and reach out to our community so let's just pray together and kick this thing off god we just we thank you lord for each and every person that's here lord we we just we know that having this community of believers is so special it's been a while since we've been able to get together god and we just uh we celebrate that lord we we pray that during this study you will soften our hearts i pray god that um where we we may have a tendency to uh just clam up and and to not share and to be be silent i pray god that you just uh allow us to open up and to grow with one another spiritually god and uh lord we just we thank you for what you're gonna do in this study and uh lord as i said earlier for the people like me who it's sometimes difficult to to wake up i pray that throughout the weeks god you you help us with that as well i pray uh for however many we start with we finish with and we ask all these things in christ jesus name amen and amen amen you can take that one with you i got it mike well good morning that was weak are y'all awake good morning good to see everybody even if you got a mask on i'm glad that you're here in the room with us it's uh it's good to see people gathered uh this morning and this is a little different than previous semesters because we've got about i think 55 60 guys that will be here with us in the room and then we have as many uh guys who are in virtual groups this semester so we've got about another 60 that are watching online and doing zoom groups and so this whole setup right here you'll notice is a little different than normal uh because uh you guys you're like why do you have this little screen and then you got the big screen like what's up with that and that is because the big screen is for all of you in the room uh the little screen with me uh here is for the online audience who that this is kind of all they can see so they can watch uh and follow along so just kind of be aware that both of those things are happening at the same time i want to encourage you should have a handout on your table there so grab one of those pass those around and each week you will get an email from me if you have not registered if you're here or if you're online and you've not registered for this study make sure you still go ahead and do that at cityviewbible.org min so that i have your email address because i will be emailing you every week with the the handout that we're going to use for the study each week in addition i'll be sending out articles and information specific to this study on manhood i want to really welcome the the young people who are doing this study so we've got some teenagers and some young adults who are in the room with us who are in the virtual groups that are doing this manhood study and so i'm really excited and so can we just encourage them and thank them for doing doing this study with us so i know that it was hard for you to get up uh the five o'clock this morning uh it was especially hard for our our young people to do that but they're here and i had to drag my sons out of bed kick him in the shower at 5 30 but they're here and so excited to see the young men who are here and it's just such a foundational study for them let me introduce this study to you this way just the importance of it this study really does help us understand who we are as men and the reason that's so important here's my conviction i'll just say it right from the beginning as men go so goes the home so goes the church and so goes the community as men go and there's ton of data to back up the statement i'm making and the reality is is that a lot of places especially a lot of churches there are more women participating serving volunteering leading than there are men and there's reasons for that we'll talk about that during this study but this is part of our answer here at city view to call men to be men and to stand up and to be the men that god has called us to be the background of this specific study is the uh outline of this study originally was developed by pastor robert lewis at fellowship bible church in little rock arkansas back around 1990 and uh pastor lewis had a heart for men uh he developed this study started teaching some of this material and then pastor tim hawks over at hill country bible church austin was friends with robert lewis and pastor lewis told tim hawk said hey this is this material is some of the best stuff that i've ever seen and used as far as helping men step into their identity as godly men and so pastor tim started teaching this this is in the early 90s over at hill country bible church and i came to hill country in 2005 into 2005 beginning of 2006 and i got here in the middle of this study but they said hey as a church planting planting resident you need to go through biblical manhood and so i jumped into it i started to go through the study and work through the material myself and then i taught it twice here at cityview the last time i taught it was 2013 so it's been seven years and so each time of course it's been passed along and taught uh each of us puts our stamp on in our kind of our own ideas and things into it but the basic outline is still that material that was developed by robert lewis about 30 years ago and it has been transformational in my own life i think as i shared in church i went through this study now 15 years ago and so much of what i understand about who i am as a man has come from looking at what the scripture says and what pastor robert lewis has passed down to us so here's what we want to do during this study this is really the high level question we're trying to answer what is manhood according to god not according to you not according to me not according to culture what is manhood according to god and why do we struggle with that so much why do we struggle with that so much now i know you're thinking man this is a long study it's 24 weeks and it is but part of the reason we need this time is as we work through some of the wounds and the struggles that we have as men it takes a little bit of time to unpack that and to understand what god wants us to do about it and so uh just understand that every part of this study is important and you if you get through the end of it you really will be transformed let me uh let me start this study by talking about some presuppositions that i bring to the table okay now presuppositions are those things those kind of convictions that we bring to the topic and i just want to put all my cards on the table and say this is the perspective that i'm bringing as we get into biblical manhood the first presupposition is that manhood is in a state of confusion confusion this is an important word for you to think through in this study the reason that manhood's in state of confusion is it's been in a constant state of change over the last 50 years first we were told that masculinity is bad in itself we have heard words and phrases like toxic masculinity that has become popular the idea was is that some of the things that formerly were associated with masculinity strength aggression competition were deadly to our broader culture and needed to be eliminated so the move was this is many years ago the move was the feminization of masculinity we heard things like men need to get in touch with their feminine side right their internal feelings and their thoughts because masculinity is bad femininity is good and so men need to get in touch with their feminine side the idea in my teenage and early adult years was that we needed to remove the toxic nature of the masculine identity well that confusion has changed again in the last 10 years we now have lived through a decade and i was so i was telling barry it was so interesting to go back and look at my notes from 2013 and how outdated this material and this these illustrations already felt after seven years how fast our culture is moving now today 10 years we have seen the elimination of gender as significant at all the elimination of gender as significant at all gender in our culture now has become a personal preference preference and it is not connected at all to biological design or creation when you go online today to create a facebook account and you put your information in and you get to the part that says gender you're going to see three boxes right male female and custom custom so you put custom and then there's a little empty box and basically the idea is you can create your own gender according to your own preference and according to your own perspective in that worldview this is a phrase i want you to write down manhood has become meaningless manhood has become meaningless and in a culture where manhood becomes meaningless the culture will devolve and ours has into more and more chaos what happens when men are told their masculinity is bad well some men have responded by saying i'm going to be the alpha male i'm going to win at all costs i'm going to dominate the competition i'm going to show the world what a man really is right kind of the alpha male some have responded by being the feminized male i'm going to reject everything masculine and adopt everything feminine some men i would say most have responded by going on strike have responded by checking out going on strike if you don't like me if you don't like my masculinity i'm taking my ball i'm going home i'm quitting the race and i'm going to withdraw into myself dr helen smith released a book i think about 10 years ago now actually titled men on strike and the subtitle is why men are boycotting marriage fatherhood and the american dream and why it matters her basic observation is is that most men today are choosing selfishness choosing withdrawal choosing isolation because they don't feel like they are accepted or can be who god's called them to be in the broader culture more and more guys are not getting married not having children not working not being responsible why after another school shooting in 2018 at a high school in florida that killed 17 teenagers comedian michael ian black wrote an op-ed where he made the observation that the school shooters are almost always boys almost always boys we have lots of conversations about guns in our culture but very few conversations about boys and men it's been young men pulling the triggers it's been young men taking these lives in this article michael ian black struggles to explain why this is happening he acknowledges that it's an issue with these young boys but then it struggles to know why and what the solution is because here's the truth the secular narrative doesn't provide any clarity of vision for manhood but one of the things that michael ian smith writes is he acknowledges the confusion that men are experiencing here's what he says quote men feel isolated confused and conflicted about their nature many feel the very qualities that used to define them their strength their aggression their competitiveness are no longer wanted or needed many others never felt strong or aggressive or competitive to begin with we don't know how to be and we're terrified why is manhood in 2020 in america in such a state of confusion again that's the key word let's look at four causes the first is the industrial revolution before the late 1800s boys worked the farms along with their dads most men did most young men did and where boys would learn to be men and this is the phrase i want you to remember was shoulder to shoulder with their dad shoulder to shoulder with their dad this is the way men do most things today whether it's watching sports playing sports going on trips doing activities is shoulder to shoulder okay before the industrial revolution okay most young men learned how to be men shoulder to shoulder with their father after the industrial revolution several things changed first of all men left the farm for the factory and moved away from sons and so sons began to spend more time with women okay whether that was mom at the home or teachers at school there was a separation from boys from their fathers and more exposure to women and second thing that happened during the industrial revolution was that families left the clan and they began to be disconnected mended from other men and we're going to talk more about the impact of that later in the study whenever we are disconnected from other men if you have your bibles let's go to deuteronomy 6. deuteronomy 6. one of the things i want to encourage you about during this study is i want to encourage you to really mark your bible with the passages that we're going to talk about during biblical manhood okay and so uh whether that is you highlight them you underline them whether you've got it on your app and you highlight these verses we're going to go through what i really want to encourage you to do is to develop through this study a list of bible passages that help you think clearly about manhood okay so if somebody asked you later what is a man according to god's plan you would say here's my list of scriptures that help me understand that and you would pull that list out and you would understand what god says not what keith says not what city view says what god says okay very important that you develop that i'd love for you to have manhood versus manhood passages and compile them i'm going to give you a bunch during this study but to compile them together and understand what god says in deuteronomy 6 i want you to see in verses 6 through 9 and then down in verse 20 i want you to see the connection between fathers and sons and the passing on of faith here's what god says this is god speaking through moses to the israelites deuteronomy 6 starting in verse 6. these words i'm giving you today to be in your heart repeat them to your children talk about them when you sit in your house when you walk along the road when you lie down and when you get up bind them as a sign on your hand let them be a symbol on your forehead write them on the doorpost of your house and on your city gates look down in verse 20 when your son asked you in the future what is the meaning of the decrees statues and ordinances that the lord our god has commanded you tell him and then it gives the answer now just notice that these passages assume they assume that father and son are together are spending time together right it doesn't just say father tell your son these things it says while you walk along the road where you get up in the morning when you go to bed at night when you're in the house when you're along the way there's an assumption here that the way that the faith gets passed on one generation to the next is fathers connected to sons fathers showing sons that what devotion to god looks like in their daily rhythms of life and proximity is required for that to happen the second cause of this confusion has been the spiritual revolution what happened in our country and what's happened in the west after the industrial revolution has been a spiritual revolution this is a move from a theistic worldview a god-centered worldview to a man-centered worldview right from a view of the world with god at the middle and everything is determined by god to a view of the world with me at the middle and i'm determining everything and part of what changes with the spiritual revolution is a move from ancient wisdom about manhood and family and traditions to contemporary trend and whenever that move happens we begin to see things drastically change in the area of manhood go in your bibles with me to romans 1 romans 1. in romans chapter 1 paul tells us what happens to a culture when god is removed from the center what happens to our personal lives when god is not in the center i'm just going to read verse 21 romans 1 21 okay paul is describing a culture a group of people where god is not honored here's what he says for though they knew god they had seen god in creation they did not glorify him as god or show gratitude instead their thinking became worthless and their senseless hearts were darkened here's what paul is saying suppression of the truth about god leads to worthless thinking and a darkness of heart here's what i'm trying to say to you here's what scripture is trying to say you cannot remove god from the center of your life or the center of your definition of manhood or the center of your culture and not have consequences from that what happens when god is removed from the sinner is devastating results in your personal life your family and your culture and this is what's happened to us is a spiritual revolution so now people trying to define manhood not just disconnected from father but now disconnected from god the third cause of the confusion has been the sexual revolution you see how we're kind of moving chronologically through time the last 50 years in the united states has seen a total rethinking about sexuality and gender it started with the rethinking of what it meant to be male and female we've talked already a little bit about that but then moved on to the meaning of marriage and divorce what happened in our sexual revolution in the united states is a separation of sex from marriage a separation of having children from marriage from the widespread acceptance of and use of pornography and then the sexual revolution moved on to redefine gender and sexuality all together so listen friends today the words don't even mean what the words used to mean so just remember when you have conversations about male and female marriage divorce sex just understand the words don't even mean what the words used to mean we're not even having the same conversation and part of this is tied to the sexual revolution we are living in a generation that is bearing the weight of the fallout of the sexual revolution all of this is undergirded by an ideology that says this there is no real difference between men and women and there is nothing to aspire to in life other than personal pleasure and fulfillment no unique calling no unique vision no unique definition for manhood just acceptance of all lifestyles and all choices and listen to me clearly it is destroying a whole generation that is destroying a whole generation if you go back in your bible to genesis 1 right at the beginning genesis 1 27 genesis 1 27 write that verse down god is the one who established them male and female from the beginning genesis 1 27 says so god created man in his own image he created him in the image of god he created them male and female listen friends male and female is not about personal preference it's about god's created design did god build masculinity femininity male and female into creation yes he did and if that's true then we need to understand what god is saying not what the sexual revolution is teaching us the fourth cause is the technological revolution this is the one i've added from the last time i taught this study the technological revolution we are now living through a giant experiment that's really what it is friends a giant experiment in raising a whole generation in front of a computer screen remember we are in uncharted waters you cannot find a study anywhere because they don't exist yet this is all brand new you cannot find a study anywhere that will tell you what impact growing up in front of a smartphone is having on who young people will be as adults it's just too new it's such a new reality you guys do realize the first iphone was released in 2007 the same year we planted this church 13 years ago we are still within the first 13 years really the first decade because smartphone adoption was slow to get going the first decade of everybody having a smartphone we're living through that we can at least acknowledge now a few impacts and this is just the beginning this is the tip of the iceberg of this conversation of what this revolution how this is impacting manhood the first is the proliferation of pornography when i was a teenager to get your hands on pornography was incredibly difficult right there was a porn shop you had to go to right you didn't want to be seen at the porn shop you you had to go there or you had to find your parents pornography your dad's pornography if your dad had pornography in the house and there were all these barriers to getting your hands on pornography right none of those barriers exist today pornography is everywhere all the stats are saying to us that the average young man starts looking at porn at age 12 and in our culture today the average age of marriage for a man is 29 it continues to get later and later and later it will be 30 years of age not that long from now now put those two things together if a young man starts looking at pornography on his smartphone when he's 12 and he doesn't get married till he's 29 how do you think 17 years of porn use on his phone is going to shape the way he sees himself sees marriage sees his spouse sees women when he steps into the marriage relationship it's going to have a huge impact we need to think through and really understand the impact this is having on manhood we talk about pornography and the impact it has on women and girls and that is profound and that is huge but i want to say something to you in this manhood context pornography is negatively impacting men and who men see themselves to be two we understand the technological revolution is bringing endless entertainment options we especially have felt this during the pandemic and being at home more and under quarantine and all these things it's like oh here's another service i can stream here's another service i can pay and subscribe to right and so basically just understand part of the technological revolution is now not having 50 cable channels but having hundreds of entertainment options that have endless resources men need to be challenged we need to work we need to do something meaningful with our lives we need to have purpose we need to know what god has called us to do and yet we are tempted today with this assumption that the world is my playground and that everything exists to entertain me this is a struggle for us as men third the technological revolution is creating less face-to-face communication and more screen-to-screen interaction this is changing the dating world i can't tell you the number of fathers of daughters that i've talked to who have said i don't understand i've got this beautiful 17 18 19 year old girl that i'm raising and no boy will come up to her to ask her on a date what is that that is a generation of young men who don't know how to have face-to-face conversation now we all know those of us who are older asking a girl that's terrifying anyway but what if you've grown up your whole life and you've never had to have a face-to-face conversation because you can do it all through a screen you can do it all through text message part of this is impacting the way we do relationships and the fourth thing i'll just mention that we see impacting us is more and more isolation as we are living on our phones and we are not doing life shoulder to shoulder with other men we see men more and more isolated whether this is fathers or sons brothers friends and please listen to me i'm not the only one to be saying this right now but isolation is literally killing men today literally killing them men committing suicide at higher rates than ever before especially in their middle to uh older years because they feel isolated and technology is a big part of why that is happening this is where the confusion comes from these revolutions that we are all living through what's the result of this confusion let me give you a couple of things here's my second presupposition that is that confused men create major problems confused men create major problems margaret mead the famous sociologist said this this was many many years ago but it's so true she said the central problem of every society is figuring out what to do with its men the central problem of every culture of every society is figuring out what to do with its men now i've been looking at incarceration information for a while now especially looking at our study on race that we just completed last sunday but one of the stats that jumps off the page when you look at incarceration rates is not just racial disparities but gender disparities do you all know in this room what percentage of inmates around our country are men it's 91 91 of people who are in prison are men nine percent are are women men are not neutral in a culture they never are men are either builders or they are destroyers they are not neutral they are either building families or tearing them apart they're either building companies or tearing them apart they're either building churches or tearing them down they're either building the culture in the society or they're tearing it apart men were not designed by god to be neutral so what are we doing make sure you underline proverbs 29 18 in your bible proverbs 29 18. this one's huge this needs to be at the top of your manhood bible verse list proverbs 29 18. i'm going to read it to you in the csb translation that i preached from here's what it says without revelation people run wild but the one who follows divine instruction will be happy older king james version said without vision the people perish without vision the people perish okay the csb is translating the hebrew word for vision as revelation in other words this is not just vision like i know where i'm going this is vision from god this is revelation from god of what i'm supposed to do with my life and they translate the phrase people perish in in this phrase people run wild here's what i want you to remember if men don't have divine vision from above about who they are to be they will run wild after their own desires and they will cause chaos they will cause destruction professor elaine storkey released a book in 2015 that really rocked my world called scars across humanity scars across humanity the subtitle of the book is understanding and overcoming violence against women understanding and overcoming violence against women it opened my eyes to the global pandemic we know that phrase right now her first chapter is actually called a global pandemic of violence against women now the reason the book shook me to my core was not that i didn't know violence against women existed it was i didn't realize to what extent it existed to what extent it is impacting women and girls globally and here was the kicker how almost all of it is inflicted by men almost almost all of it is inflicted by men listen to this quote virtually every minute of every day she says there are incidents somewhere of domestic abuse what is that let's don't play games with the language that's men beating their wives rape what is that that's men physically forcing themselves sexually on a woman honor killings sexual violence harassment acid attacks bride burnings femicide mutilation and violation of trafficked women it does indeed leave scars on the face of humanity now how do you feel about that men god calls us as men to lay down our lives for the good of women to say before something happens to my wife to my daughter to the women in this church i will lay down my life for their good and yet what do we see globally we see men using their strength to take advantage of women you see what i'm saying men are not neutral they're either building up or they're destroying and confused men create major problems abuse violation exploitation and the mistreatment of women and girls what determines the future of our country i know many of us right now are convinced that an election determines that can i tell you something a little different this morning men determine that men in our nation and how we live and who we are and whether we're committed to god or not will determine the future of this nation what men decide to do with their masculinity period end of story third confused men settle for less conventional manhood in our culture is one dimensional manhood what do you say when you most often meet another man hi i'm i'm keith it's good to know you what do you do what do you do young boys are asked from an early age what do you want to be when you grow up what do we mean by that not what kind of man do you want to be we mean what do you want to do career-wise with your life those questions show the way we think about manhood we think about it purely through the lens of how much money we make what kind of career we're going to have and listen confused manhood settles for less in our expectations of what we should do with our lives confused men think about manhood only through the lens of money over time this definition is not enough this is why we have a phrase called midlife crisis because many men wake up when they're 50 60 years old they've given their whole life to their career making money and they wake up one day and they go is this it right is this what i'm living for for my 401k so i can sit by the beach and collect seashells when i get to be retired is this what i'm living for is this the best that life has to offer confused men settle for less what are you settling for if i don't have a calling what am i to live for we have such low expectations on men our culture is ridiculous today my fourth presupposition this morning is there is no lofty vision of manhood that's compelling to men today you still have your bibles open go with me to first corinthians 13. this ought to be one of your other key manhood verses that you keep in your list first corinthians 13 verse 11. first corinthians 13 verse 11. now this is in the chapter on love and spiritual gifts but i want you to hear the way paul talks about his maturity i love this passage first corinthians 13 11 when i was a child i spoke like a child i thought like a child i reasoned like a child but when i became a man i put aside childish things amen when i became a man i put aside childish things please note according to this one verse manhood is different than boyhood our culture has lost all frame of reference for this but according to the scripture manhood is distinct from boyhood adulthood is distinct from childhood in our culture those things have run together and the reason is one of the reasons is because we lack a vision of what manhood is and because for most of us and we'll talk about this at length in the next couple of sessions is nobody said to us as a young boy now you're a man did you have that conversation did you have anybody step into your life and say you're not a boy anymore you're a man act like a man one of the great issues for young men today is you don't know when you cross that line fathers this is a huge deal for us because fathers are the first one to look their sons in the eyes and say you are now a man and if you never have that conversation like trey said earlier you turn that into times of where well when did i shoot a gun when did i have sex for the first time is that when i become a man is that what it means to be a man when you have a lack of vision you struggle with knowing what a man is um the product of that is what michael kimmel calls guy land guy land it's not boyhood and it's not manhood it's a guy land he wrote a whole book and he uses this phrase called extended adolescence anybody heard of that extended adolescence basically meaning i get into a man's body but i still live as a boy that's called adolescence now just to be clear okay there was not a thing called adolescence until about 30 years ago to be clear there was boyhood and there was manhood boyhood is when people care for you manhood is when you care for others but now we have created a whole new season of life called adolescence and basically what adolescence is you have a man's body but you have no responsibility and so you still live like a boy in a man's body this is why you have 30 year old men living in their parents basements playing video games that's why because nobody looked that young man in the face when he was 17 and said you are now a man you're not a boy and this is what it means to be a man extended adolescence is killing us here's what it's doing michael kimmel says it has created a vision of manhood that includes drinking lots of alcohol watching lots of sports consuming lots of pornography practicing violence against others no responsibility and playing games that is a jacked up definition of manhood and we can't we just wonder why won't men settle down and get married and raise a family and have a job and do all these things because this is the vision of manhood we've given them do men glorify their childhood or their maturity do they glorify their boyhood or manhood this picture of manhood you say well i don't remember being told those things i don't remember being taught that of course not because manhood is caught more than it's taught it's what the culture glorifies and says to young men this is what manhood is is extended adolescence good for men no is it good for girls and women no is it good for our future of our nation or our families our churches no why because the choices you make when you're a young man have huge quant consequences for the whole rest of your life and so if nobody tells you when you're 17 18 19 years old hey you're a man now and you need to take responsibility for the decisions you make and the people that you are then you start making decisions as boys and what do boys make in their decisions okay my six-year-old son will throw something at his four-year-old brother because he's a boy he doesn't understand the consequences of any of that right he's a little kid and so as a father i have to step in and say hey you cannot punch your little brother in the eye and give him a black eye and this is what happens when you do that the consequences for that whatever because he's a boy but when you're 25 and you're still acting that way it's devastating a low vision of manhood is not worth living for final presupposition is that the bible has insight and answers to all the above remember second timothy 3 16-17 all scriptures inspired by god is profitable for teaching rebuking correcting and training in righteousness we know that passage the word of god is inspired it's authoritative but do you remember what the next verse says what verse 17 says it says what so that the man of god might be complete equipped for every good work the bible has not just insights on who god is and sin and salvation it has instruction on how we can be the men god has called us to be the word of god is true it's helpful for all these things for what purpose so that the man of god men you are to be men of god men watching online you need a definition of vision that creates you as a man of god we have lost that concept haven't we we've lost that phrase what does it mean to be a man of god and we need to get grounded in that and know what that is and to be what this passage says the man of god who is mature that's what complete means mature equipped for every good work we're going to look beyond our broken culture today to ancient wisdom and we're going to understand that your bible not culture your bible gives us answers we can trust so we can listen and learn to it one of my promises to those of you who finish this study this is a long study it's a challenging study here's my promises to you real quick number one you will have a clear and compelling definition of manhood we're going to spend some significant time in the book of genesis and other verses we're going to look beyond the alpha male and the feminine male to the true male who's the true male jesus christ we're going to look to the true man jesus and he will be our god in our model we will build a definition you can understand you can follow and oh thank god you can repeat you can pass along to the next generation by the end of this first semester by the time we get to christmas you will have a clear compelling definition of manhood for your life and for other men in your life definitions are huge think about this question right at the beginning of the study what is your definition of manhood going into this study if somebody was to pin you down today and say what is a biblical man what is a man what would you say and where does your definition come from definitions are important number two you will make some significant personal discoveries we're gonna pull back the mask we're gonna do some work on our hearts as men we're gonna understand the pain that we've been through we're gonna understand the wounds that we've carry and how we have shaped those things what's impacted us what's formed us what shaped us and we've got some work to do there men we got some work to do understanding our relationship with our mom our relationship with our dad our relationship with our friends other men and mentors in our lives how those things have impacted us you're going to learn stuff about yourself you never knew never understood and we're going to work through those issues together that's why your community around your table is so important for this study you can't do this by yourself number three you will have a personalized plan for achieving authentic manhood biblical manhood okay we will help not just looking back but also looking forward who do i want to be we're going to develop an action plan that you can live out your masculinity we will talk about how to lead and trade up your sons and daughters how this definition of manhood impacts your sexuality your work your ministry your calling as a man of god and you'll walk away with a real plan that you can put into practice one of the greatest outcomes of this study and i've seen this every time i've taught it is at the end of this study so the last about six weeks we're going to give you a template for writing a manhood plan it's going to say here's what i've learned looking back here's what i've learned about the present here's my plan for the future and we're going to write all that out and one of the things you're going to develop at the end is what we call your tombstone which is when you die and your life is over here on earth what do you want people to write on your tombstone so we're going to write out that plan and here's what's so powerful about this study is you are then going to give your manhood plan to the other men at your table and they're going to give you feedback on your manhood plan has that ever happened in your life no they're going to give you feedback this is the last few weeks of the study and you're going to hold each other accountable to the action steps that you write down in that manhood plan and if you will track with us all the way to the end you will take away from this study a plan i still have mine from the first time i did this 15 years ago and i look back and i think this has transformed every decision i've made in the last 15 years as a man it's that profound and finally you will make new friends who are going to pursue a common goal together maybe most significantly you're going to gain some running partners you will know some men in your life are going after the same goals you can hold each other accountable you can cheer for each other when you actually do it like if one of your steps is to like you know take your your teenage your 12 year old son on a passport to purity uh weekend and you actually go and do that you have some conversations with him about him going into puberty and developing sexually and you have those conversations who is cheering for you when you do that i guarantee you the culture is not because none of that makes sense to the culture but if you've got some christian men around you who will say to you man way to go way to be that father that your young son needs way to buck the trend of the culture of low expectations that settles for garbage for a young man way to go who's cheering you on that's part of why these groups are so important because i can get up here and run at you from the pulpit but you need men in your life who share your values and your commitments and are doing this together we've got a number of teens and young adults who are here with us on this journey going through this study together and i want to say to all of you young men i got this material when i was 26 i sure wish i had it when i was 16. those 10 years would have been very different my college experience some of the choices i made as a young man first getting into marriage and so i want to encourage you young men please listen please really press in and learn what god wants you to be does this sound like something you want to be a part of does this sound like something that god could use in your life now here's the challenge here's the challenge all right let's here's the challenge will you finish we as men we start lots of stuff but we struggle to finish so my challenge to you right out of the gate first week is this all sounds exciting it sounds challenging but will you do it let me pray for you god thank you so much for already speaking to us this morning giving us this vision of where we're going father we pray that we as men would hear your voice holy spirit speak to us now as we discuss these things around our tables and lord would you work in us in powerful ways i pray that these men will be open and honest at their tables god help us to not perform for each other to but to be honest about who we are where we struggle where we're confused and god would you give us clarity and direction so that we can obey you jesus we want to be a counter-culture of men of god may you help us to do that this year in jesus name amen amen all right you got some discussion questions on your outline there today make sure you get to know each other this morning and who's around your table if you don't know each other already and then work your way through those discussion questions excited for your talk we will see you again next week you

Channel: Cityview Bible Church

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Id: sE7VeTDc2Nc

Length: 54min 25sec (3265 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 10 2020