BIBLICAL COURTSHIP & MARRIAGE || DR DAVID OGBUELI

has something to do with revisiting and correcting faults in foundation foundational thoughts on the subject of relationship and marriage and the moment i saw that i was asked to choose between that and some other topics that were simpler moment i saw the subject of foundation i decided to take it because there is a major challenge in this area of relationship marriage dating that the lord has to help us to crack because i think this will probably be my either 14th or 15th year of crusading we launched the national youth movement and the project that took us on the journey of going after every nigerian young man so i know that those who wrote that word foundation might be thinking about the language i hear everywhere in the body whenever you hear foundation they start thinking about breaking of courses going to deal with demons in the village and other that's not my own idea of foundation that's not the angle i'm going to come from at all my own angle is the biblical judo christian biblical foundation now somebody else can tackle that part if that's what you are looking out for [Music] it's good to do deliverance and i believe in it but deliverance is like going to cut a bush cut down trees to prepare the land for planting but after cutting the bush burning the bush and you don't plant anything all the things you cut down will grow back again [Music] okay this is how i'm going to begin in matthew chapter 16 verse 18. okay jesus said to peter die at peter upon this rock i will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it okay somebody will say why are you reading about the building of the church because the blueprint for building the home is the same blueprint for building the church as a matter of fact if you pass the bible school of relationship and marriage you are qualified to pass to any church [Music] young people if you master the act of managing relationships successfully in general and the type of relationship that leads to marriage and the marriage marriage relationship itself if you can develop yourself in this area you are developing yourself for one of the highest form of leadership there is [Music] there are different types of leadership you hear about transformational leadership you hear about socratic leadership the different types different models if you notice the bible itself recommends two principal models two the old testament bible all the way to the new testament recommended one and jesus in his teaching recommended one more if you bring the two of them together you get the complete biblical picture of what a leader is supposed to be according to the kingdom the the god almighty model of leadership is the fathering mother father father and mother that's why he made himself as the epitome the perfect example of that can you imagine what a good pastor does for his church can you imagine what a good father does for his family do you know what will happen if our governors and our presidents will become like that they will see the whole nation [Music] the factory model of leadership there is another word that is used in scripture to also describe that is the shepherding model so a king a political leader or so on and so forth god will address them as shepherds somebody like joseph who was 30 when he became prime minister he said to his brothers god has made me a father to pharaoh and to the whole land of egypt this is the office of the prime minister but he brought a model of leadership a biblical model of leadership to be on that office of course jesus brought another side to it which is actually another way of looking at the same thing they called it the servant leadership model that automatically lays the foundation for what i'm talking about the marriage relationship if the kingdom is basically broken into two stages can i borrow three young men maybe at the lower level and i can come down do that three young men that are young okay [Music] one person here one person here i like you you're red so you'll be the one here the marriage kingdom marriage relationship is broken into two major stages okay let's have the big man as marriage you come to here let's have the yes this is marriage and married life properly before that there is what is called engagement i'm going to clear a lot of obstacles for you today before that is what is called engagement these are the two basic stages in christian and kingdom-driven marriages to start with marriage in the kingdom is covenant is entering into covenant with another human being and that's why is the best picture to depict the kind of relationship the kind of relationship we have with god and the kind of relationship the church has with christ it's a covenant relationship you're going into so there are two primary stages not three now in our modern society we have created a third one we called sometimes we have different names for it relationships courtship dating which is a baptismal name for boyfriend girlfriend relationship because i'm going to take you to the bible you see that it doesn't exist but i'm going to make room for it the reason i'm going to make room for it i don't want you to feel like what are you saying pastor does it mean i just meet somebody we'll start moving into the serious part without getting to know ourselves you will find out in the bible that this stage does not last long the length of courtship is determined by one factor the moment the concept the consent of the woman is obtained by the man that is wearing her this is the winning stage and remember that everything that happens here is depicted in our relationship with jesus as you study if you want to test the validity the authenticity of any principle that you are using or teaching verified compared with the relationship that jesus has with the church there is also another relationship in scripture you can use to compare it compare with the relationship that god has with israel god was married to israel and jesus is married to the church of course god married israel and his son jesus married the church both were covered in relationships so whatever you are preaching because you are not the author of marriage marriage began with god he was the one that conducted the first wedding he designed and built this relationship and he born on certain core principles and values so this stage only lasts long why the bride has not agreed you see a lady you like her you want to marry her and then you start weighing her you start approaching her you are trying to you know convince her to finally agree to marry you that can last long if she's saying no and let's assume that you have the patience to continue going if this thing lasts for two years is because within this period she has been saying no she doesn't want and then finally it took you two years to finally get her to say yes [Music] but if the woman that you are chasing says yes in two weeks this stage must end and move to the serious part do you know what this worrying stage cutting stage dating stage is in christianity it's what you call evangelism the moment a sinner is ready to accept christ's proposal and accept his you know proposal for marriage you don't keep them dating anymore you lead the sinner to marriage vows you lead him to christ [Music] [Music] i'm sure you guys read your bible and so even if i don't go and read that too many because there are some very important scriptures i would like to read if i don't read everything i make reference to so i'm sure you will be able to check it out in genesis chapter 24 abraham wanted to get a wife for his son isaac and so he delegated that job to his servant by the name of eliezer and asked him to go back to his people and get a wife for isaac and he he put the man under the covenant not to choose the women of canaan for isaac now listen abraham is a type of god the father isaac who needs a bride is a type of christ a laser noun the man that is charged with responsibility is a type of the holy spirit who is now the one that traveled down to the world to get a bride for christ so the holy spirit is the lord of the harvest all that we are doing you and i are doing is walking along with him partnering with him collaborating with him to finally find christ bright now you are bride of christ but when you are out there winning souls is still the project that is going on the moment the person you are preaching to you are ministering to says yes [Music] this stage ends so now you can see the mistake we are making when eliezer finally got to the the city the hometown of abraham and found rebecca at the well of waters and then you know he made some prayers just like we also praying choosing a bride and all of that and then god finally directed the steps the moment they started talking to the woman and the woman was cooperating and he saw that god was one leading him immediately the discussion you have here is not even much of what the young people do these days they get into too much of all this i love you i don't love you and other and it's important to express love i know but then after that stage there are a lot of important things to discuss they are not for example a lesson how to ask whose daughter are you at this stage because it's the stage of inquiry it's not just dating you want to know that person you ask questions about the person's family not just the persons you find out the profession what the man does and what the woman does you find out whether they are believers or not i'm just translating it you find out their values you find out their conviction their worldview then you find out about their family because it doesn't end with just that individual many a time the values that are going to live out when you marry them are the values they grew up with in their home there's a man and a woman that raised that man and probably for 25 sometimes 28 maybe 30 years it depends on the age when you finally got to meet and they have imbibed this you need to be careful about the from get to find out what you can about the upbringing and the environment and the values under which that guy grew now in the kingdom of god we know that there is something else that can counter that in the natural society parents we normally follow up on this subject of inquiring about the families what kind of people they are do their women leave their husbands and jump out and follow other men what about this man's family do they run mad do they kill their wives and all kinds of you want to know where you are the people you're giving away your daughter to but in the kingdom when you come into the kingdom we also belong to families the bible said god has said the song tree in families if i find out you are coming after one of my daughters and you attend a church where they do wrestlemania where they prophesy for morning to night where all they see is demons and village people pursuing you they don't disciple you they don't raise people in the word of god this is a family this is a spiritual family this guy is coming out from and you come and tell me pastor i met him he is born again because he says jesus is lord forget about that because at the end of the day all those things he is raised with is what he is bringing into your home and tomorrow now they will carry you a well discipled girl to water side to wash your head or you are not pregnant you will have to go and meet his wife or meet one white government regularly because that is the culture the value he was raised with don't think it's not important make sure that when you're going for people check their spiritual upbringing check whether they are disciples and even if it's the same church we are members of one the same church it is not enough is he just a church god or a disciple check that in a natural check if he's a man check how he respects his father how he treats his mother because what he does those want to give back to him he abuses them he abandons them he mistreats them you are going to be the next in the spiritual house check how they respect their pastor whether they are submitted or how they respect and all of that i wish i have time to look into this but the most critical is the christian values that they are raised with go and see today how marriages are falling apart and many of these people are from different families christian families because many churches is not everywhere you go you meet men like this who are strong in upbringing and in teaching the kingdom not just the gospel of salvation not just grace [Music] the bible didn't say grace only came by jesus christ he said the law came by moses but grace and truth people who also teach the truth and the values of the kingdom because that's what grows and mature people grace is the milk that you bet babies with and maybe feed them on for a while i'm not saying adults don't eat need it but you have to bring solid food truth so these are the kind of things you check at this time because most of the young people are busy with the emotion the only thing they're doing here is emotion jesus said i will build my church and he specifies what he will build it on he said on this rock i'm sure you guys know already that our rock was not peter that rock was the revelation that peter caught the revelation of jesus christ but i also want to go further the rock is not just the person of jesus the rock represents the teachings of christ because when jesus explained the rock by himself in matthew 7 he said whosoever hearing these sayings of mine and do with them is like a wise man that built his house on the rock so the rock in totality is the person of jesus and the principles that he taught the person of jesus and the values he taught he's not just believing in jesus are you following after his teachings so if i meet you in church and you profess christianity you're a young woman i feel attracted to you and i'm pulled and i want to and getting close i see that it's just profession that you have as by your life is patterned after babylon i know what you're going to do to me if i marry you you are going to marry hell i know what i don't need anybody to tell me if i think that i love the person what i could do suspend anything about proposal marriage and get involved in encouraging and influencing that girl to go through discipleship and do it not because you want to marry do it because you want to raise a follower of jesus christ if she turns out well good [Music] oh i need to move but i don't know why i'm wasting spending a little more time here do you know one of the things the danger of overstaying here is that we have borrowed some ideologies from babylon from the world you meet this sister he said we are dating we're trying to know ourselves two years will pass in some cases seven years and during this period if you hear what people are doing i don't know about butcher but i came from lagos i can tell you abortions because pregnancy they are moving around weekends sometimes we will go visit sleepover also some things are going after seven years he said you are not the one for me the lord has shown me that you are not what he moves to this one it starts again it's not in the bible [Music] it's not in the bible his boyfriend gave him relationship repackaged and sold to the church as courtship [Music] and with all the years we spent saying we are trying to know ourselves it has not improved the quality of marriage [Music] our parents used to have more solid marriage even some of them never got to know anything that their parents even their arranged marriages were more successful than this so-called nonsense [Music] and i'm sorry if i offend you i'm trying to help you and then sometimes this guy has jumped to about four different sisters finally he said two's one settles down for one but guess what these girls that have borne several years of their life five years of their life that one would start another one some of them by the time they recover from the foolishness they're in their mid-30s late 30s 40s and go and see how many men has passed through the water when she came to christ she wanted to be serious and serve god what is the wrong ideology of dating that got her into all this mess you hear stories how many abortions she have done for brother this for brother that and then this how many things have gone under the water going to reach finally all kinds of things and finally she is now 42 38 and trying to get married [Music] and then by time she gets married child bed becomes a major prayer point because what was free what was easy in his season and his time is now hard so fast and prayer and all of that and these among the ones that finally get married that many many many many becomes mature singles move into their 40s and 50s and there is nobody and now he said to kumbo product and this tukumbo is the tokumbo created inside the kingdom not even the life that was lived as an unbeliever before you came to christ because after you came to christ and he saved you and you submitted to circumcision and discipleship you became another chess virgin in christ but this one again now is in the kingdom [Music] [Music] okay the moment eliza talked to this beautiful lady he is trying to get her for isaac [Music] and she showed some signs of encouragement immediately he asked about her family and he told that then they get around home to go and tell his her parents and then the brother labor now went out to find eliezer and invited him home ladies and gentlemen i hope you are hearing the two major sections in a christian marriage in biblical marriage is engagement and marriage [Music] [Music] this is where i'm going to show us a few things [Music] the jewish people call this stage this engagement stage betrothal [Music] if you complete this engagement stage or the betrothal stage you are legally married but the marriage is not consummated then you finally come to this final stage which is the wedding ceremony right after that the marriage now become consummated i'm going to talk to you about these two stages [Music] take note the woman or the man that completes this stage is legally married if you touch that lady you have slept with somebody's wife what the bible calls engagement is different from what america has exported to us here there is nothing like a private engagement between two people engagement must happen with the family of the bride involved notice this takes place at the house of the father of the bride and this takes place at the house of the father of the groom you say yeah in your bible yes maybe after this body connection with your christian life in connection with your relationship with god and in connection with evil ministry and in connection with your family life certain things will become clearer for you in the scriptures okay there is a beautiful example because you know that thing you read in genesis chapter 24 when eliezer went to the family of the bride to meet all the obligations that permitted isaac to marry rebecca is what is called the engagement ceremony [Music] and all those conditions that are met here is what jesus has already met with the church what is now left is the ceremony that will take place in the groom's father and that one is the one that will happen when you and i experience the marriage supper of the love but between now when we have given our life to christ and when we are present in that wedding you are legally married anything you do with the world or with satan is adultery let me give you a scripture an example and i will come back down i'll come back down and [Music] this is the story of matthew chapter 1 verse 19 i mean this is the story of joseph [Music] and mary ladies and gentlemen what was the relationship of joseph to berry as at the time the angel intervened ninja gabriel intervened and mary got pregnant was he full marriage or betrothal who can tell me it's betrothal that young woman has been betrothed to joseph so i will show you the seven stages how they do the ceremony now you will see it so in matthew chapter 1 verse 19. i don't want to read too much joseph her husband being a judgment now the man just found out that the woman he has paid bright price on is pregnant because you don't do betrothal by just promising again i want to marry you and two of us have agreed and we say we are engaged you are not engaged [Music] when you get engaged the two families are involved actually the completion of the process of engagement involves paying the dollar [Music] i don't want to come down yet now in the african traditional marriage like i don't know all the culture of the different african countries but for those of you who are watching this you might be watching from america and all that there is something that happens in africa that is closer to the biblical model of marriage in africa we're married at two stages the first stage is when you go to the family of the bride and then meet with the family and meet the obligation including paying the diary that is what is called betrothal in the bible that is biblical engagement in nigeria here we actually do a ceremony along with it it's called traditional marriage that is what the bible calls betrothal or engagement now there are a few cases where the bitrate happens when the kids are small but no marriage can happen to you they grow they come of age the reason [Music] majority of the betrothal happens to grown-ups [Music] okay yeah i'm reading verse 19. matthew chapter 1 verse 19. [Music] so you guys asked me to walk on the foundation so that we can set things right that's what i'm doing so i'm taking you back so you see where we got it around and when you see where you have made mistakes though it's not so you can go and start feeling guilty or sorry for yourself it's so that you can do correction cost correction because we have entered a season of rebuilding a season of reconstruction a seasonal restoration a season of revival both in the family and in the body of christ and once we get it right at home and in the church it will result in a major shift for our nation [Music] okay then joseph her husband he just found out that the woman he has paid diary on is pregnant so being a just man not willing to make a public example do you know what this means after engagement if you get involved in a relationship with another man the penalty is dead usually the jews will kill you by stoning the penalty of relationship with another man at this stage is the same penalty as marriage because they are legally married not willing to make a public example because the jews who have killed her was minded to put her away privately you go and check the root word put it where there is divorce i want to also say this if you complete this stage and you want to get out of this marriage you have to go through a process of divorce [Music] it's not just uh i walk away don't call me again i remove your name from my phone no because what you did is just between two of you and you're calling to get it's not engagement you don't hide engagement your parents must know that you are engaged you know your repair a man has not taken you to his family his father doesn't know you his mom doesn't know you his pastor doesn't know you he has refused to come and see your own person he has refused to come and see your parents he said his engagement and you are wasting five years of your life for him breaking it at this stage is as tough as breaking it at this stage because it's a legal process because what you have done here is legal and binding [Music] not wanting to make it public decided to put her away then the angel of god came in the night of course let's see what the angel even said please go but why he thought all these things behold the angel of the lord appeared to him in a dream saying joseph son of david fear not to take unto thee marry thy wife angel is calling a betrothed woman his wife the marriage has not been consummated there is no sex there is no nothing but he's already calling it his wife why it's a fear not to take mary thy wife for that which is conceived of her is of the holy spirit okay i'm not sure how strong that one has entered so i will show you another scripture maybe this time it will enter very well engagement is not something light deuteronomy chapter 22 i'm reading from verse 22. now look at the law of marriage as it relates to our daughter i just want to show you so what is it that i'm doing i'm going back to the jewish you know uh marriage customs to show you because it's from the judeo-christian our faith is a judeo-christian values a lot of the things you are reading are written by jews the books and within the context and you are using your gentile mind to interpret it if you don't understand the context and the culture under which these things are written there are many things that you will be misinterpreting now see the culture the laws as it relates to adultery if a man is found sleeping with a woman that is married you then both of them shall die you see the penalty for adultery is death both the man that lay with her and the woman so you shall put away evil from israel now let's go to engagement the next verse [Music] if a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed onto a husband do you see like the case of mary if joseph had made her her case public she would have been dead [Music] if a damsel that is a virgin is betrothed to her husband and the man finds her in the city and sleeps with her you know king james say lie with her now look at what will happen then you shall bring both of them out to the gate of the city and you shall stone them with stones that they die both the man and the woman will die do you see the same penalty for adultery is the same penalty for messing around after engagement [Music] now watch both of them shall die the damsel because she cried not being in the city and the man because he has humbled his neighbor's wife do you see what the angel said to mary take mary your wife do you see what god is saying here that woman that is engaged is somebody's wife so it is not this type of engagement that you are doing today that they are talking about [Music] because he has humbled his neighbor's wife so you shall put away evil from among your people the penalty for messing around with an engaged woman and a married woman boat is the same debt now watch for a single girl see the situation of a single girl watch now if a man finds a betrayal damsel in a field and the man forced her alive with her then the man only that lay with her shall die they still depend out but this kiss is raped god said treat rape like mother look at it the next verse you shall do nothing to the young woman there is no sin in the woman deserving of death for just as when a man rises against his neighbor and kills him even so is this matter do you see mother when somebody lays in wait for another person sends a trap your person will pounce on you at the back and kill you that's how rape is so you don't punish the woman that is raped is the man that did it that must die they still dead pen out but you don't punish the one that is innocent [Music] now look at a single woman yes next thing verse 28 if a man finds a young woman who is a virgin who is not betrayed this is a single girl and he seizes her and lies with her of course i give you another another chapter exodus that said seduces her so whether you forced her or you seduced her you talked to her and she agreed you lied with her see the old testament law and they are found look at what will happen yes you don't kill anybody the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman father 50 shekels of silver and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her he shall not be permitted to divorce her all his days if you go to exodus 22 where it is seduction you can confuse the gay and not you sleep with that in the jewish whatever you will end up paying the diary and marrying her and then that's part of what i have learned and i'm going to say this for the sake of the pro the future of the church and all of that as a pastor who has worked with young people u.s everywhere i've seen a lot of things when you get into the issue of young people when i find out a situation where sexual activity is already going on and all kinds of things and the two people are believers it should not happen in the body of christ but this is the kind of disaster that we are facing in these last days [Music] what i tell the pastor or if it is within my domain is facilitate marriage move them fast to this stage get them to go and see the parents of course we did a police reform program and i saw all sorts you get into barracks you see these policemen living with women that are not married to the parents don't know where their daughter is when i did some mission work in accra i spent three years there with my wife what we saw in that place you see also they have three children they are not even married even in some cases the woman even had children from so and once you find out that these people are believers break all the other barriers and get the man to go and take responsibility and now move to this stage and now to that stage let them not start with you might not do a white wedding for them they might not have to wear white but move the process don't leave them and leave the mess we are called into a redemptive ministry redemptive program [Music] that's how the mess can stop and there are situations where they can't even move be religious let that haunting end and end so that both people can begin their life and separate them not just separation in mouth stop visiting you know there is no way that thing is going and you are with that guy three years of your life and every time he said let me just go and say stop going to see him stop calling him stop leaving me alone because emotional issues are very sticky that's how i met a girl after being abandoned by a man with a child and the guy denied him she went through she went through and parents have kicked her out she raised that child the child was four years one day the man saw her again you know that i like you just forgive me just whatever next another pregnancy and then he vanishes again slapping anointing came on me when i found her but you can't do that [Music] you feel like vlogging [Music] you don't meet a guy because he said hi i love you another weekend you pack your bag you move to his house you don't do that we don't do that is babylonian culture that is we don't do that in the kingdom there is no covenant between you and him can you imagine walking to a mercedes car company where they sell brand new cars or range rover you say i i like this car i like this 20 20 model it's really very nice and beautiful all the wonderful things they said to you they can say to a cat he has drip boats he has the front tires the wheel whatever so what you like it you have to go inside the office and meet the owners and meet the obligation pay and collect the receipts that you can ungo but can you imagine going in you take it you go and test drive for a year after test driving then the lord will now speak to you that this is not the particular car you want that actually is not range rover i am not really a ranger of a person it's messed this one up then you come back to take messages test drive for another three years after three years then the lord will now show you that it's not mercedes that is your brand it's actually um what is the one from from japan toyota it's down to it you want you now come for toyota and test drive for two years then you say it looks like it looks like this is it because young people always ask me what's the difference we love each other we're talking about here we love each other it's the same love we do the thing we don't do the thing it's the same thing we're going to be doing when we're married what's the difference then i ask them what's the difference between when you pay for a car you take it home and start driving it everywhere and going into a shop seeing a car that you love you really loved it you are passing now there is a car shop and you look you see one that you love you are in love with the car and then you jump over the fence take it drive off why is it that when police catch you put you in jail what's the difference between walking through a phone shop and you see a phone that you love samsung 2020 you pay for it and you get receipt are you walking away with authority get men are there you are walking you are not afraid what is the difference between passing through a phone shop and seeing one that you like and you take it [Music] and then you go and start using it and then the security catches you why is it a phone the same phone and you really like both phone for one you go to jail for the other you can even carry it before sss i'll be making call carry it in front of police i mean making what's the difference now you know why when god arrests you he also has a prison call health for fornication for adultery and for all of these things because what you are doing is illegal [Music] there is legality and morality before you can say you are practicing righteousness [Music] that one that went and took it you know what he's doing without pain he's stealing that's what you're also doing when you are doing this that's why even if he's a little six-year-old child that knocks on the door you if you see how your heart will jump that's why you won't want anybody to hear that's why you'll be ashamed if it comes out [Music] let me show you seven major things that happen here the only thing that happens here is we you can talk to a girl or whatever because really it's the jewish men that choose their wife actually sometimes there are situations where somebody is delegated to do that selection so that is the only thing that happens here and the moment that person accepts your proposal that means that there is consent it's time to go and see the family so seven major things happen here number one you go meet the family of the bride if you read that genesis 24 you see what you know this guy did elijah and i want to say this men marry women are giving a marriage don't care if you're a bank manager you have come to abuja you become a big girl you have even become a pastor so you can dissolve the disorganized you know disregard your parents disregard your pastor a big person like me which one is this i have to see who am i seeing i know what i want women are giving in marriage you know where we get our authority when we get to wedding that's where the church comes in we always ask that with who gives this girl in what and he must be an authorized person from the family if the father is not there there must be somebody else delegated with that authority to perform that function if the family is not there usually the church is careful about proceeding [Music] okay i leave that [Music] because there are few exceptions there but i don't want to go into that that's the standard procedure okay so you now bring what is called the marriage covenant it's time to bring it and discuss it a marriage covenant act contains the things you're going to do for this woman the things obligations things she's going to expect if she marries you [Music] and her own obligation towards you and responsibilities so it contains two major things it contains inheritance it contains obligations or responsibilities it contains things you're going to gain and get but it also contains certain responsibilities for example i don't need to say that on the path of the woman that means from that day the principle of chastity and separation from every other person obtains [Music] so and the woman must accept it before you move ahead she must get that document the man usually is instrumental in crafting it but sometimes there could be a discussion in crafting the content and then at the end of the day the woman must accept it if you go to exodus chapter 19 you see when god married israel the contract he gave them is what you call the ten commandment and the pentrum the five books of the bible the first five books of the bible and then that day moses after getting all that went to the people and the people said all that the lord said i wish i could i can read all the scriptures for you all that the lord said we would do then we can proceed so you have the marriage covenant it is always written on paper because it's going to be signed before you end this stage and in the times of the new testament jesus gave us a new covenant and it contains all our inheritance in him but he also contains our obligations young people i want to remind you that among our responsibilities i just want to mention only one is this issue of the great commission because you cannot be somebody's bride and refuse to have children for him hello god hates unfulfillness you can't say no my figure i love my figure i'm such a pretty i'm not going to allow anybody to mess around with my i can't have children i'll go and tie my womb it becomes a big issue marriage is not for selfish people marriage i'm going to make a statement now everybody listen very carefully young people marriage is not for somebody who just wants to live a self-centered selfish life marriage is a type of covenant that god created to help human beings experience self-transcendence you know what i mean marriage is a place you die to self marriage is for people who want to share their life marriage is for people who are willing to sacrifice before i [Music] okay we have to grow money so i can i can divide this but i need to tell you there are two kinds of love in relationships two before you enter covenants the type of love you have here is selfish love because everything you are checking here is how the thing will benefit you oh wow the guy is really handsome the way he talks to me he makes me you know you know he spends on me [Music] everything is about you you what you are getting out of him and you know what god permits it at this stage because this stage is for checking the other person out so that you don't end up with somebody you don't love because once you get into covenant you are going to be yoke with that person for life till your death that is the only thing allowed to break that yolk is legally buying them for life so at this stage you can do all that selfish love you know and other and that's what they sing for you in all these music you see movies and then you read the novels and young girls have gone through school read all these different novels we read in school you think you know what love if that is not love the moment you are now ready to move to this stage that involves covenant you have to now transcend from that selfish love to selfless love the type of love that now start thinking about because all the while you are here talking about him you have never thought about what you're going to give him the sacrifices you're going to make for him the values you're going to add to his life you're only thinking about have you ever seen anybody that's thinking about finding a spot at the stage of choosing a spot that is thinking about this girl is so nice i make a promise i will never beat her for the rest of my it doesn't even cross their mind the value the other person will get all the assessment at this point is the value you're going to get from the person but you see now what changes the game is that once you enter into covenant covenant is i'm i'm willing to share my life with you covenant is i'm willing to lay down my life for you covenant is i'm willing to sacrifice my life for you covenant is that's what jesus was saying no love is greater than this than that a man should lay down his life because from that moment he took his disciples to the communion table and then on the way to the cross everything now is about sacrifice the relationship has changed it's no more casual relationship you even told them i don't call you servants anymore this thing is moving to another level i call you friends because everything i get from my father i've shown you this everything about here is sharing it's about sacrifice there are three s that obtains in covenant driven marriages the first s is sanctification that's why for the man they say leave your father and mother and cliff to your wife but it's not only your father mother your girlfriend those ones that are like you that you like or all those other whatever you have to severe that if not you won't be able to be who you are required to be marriage requires sanctification sanctification is separating yourself spiritually speaking from sin from satan from the world you see he has separation in it and then consecrating yourself to god for his holy purposes a marriage is separating yourself from all this other relationship so you can truly give yourself to that man or woman that you love the second ace of marriage is sacrifice oh from this mean level the type of love required transcend from self to selfless [Music] the greatest thing god can do for you let me preach that one to mr president the greatest thing the greatest grace the greatest deliverance god can give you and any man is to set you free for self that unto that happen the journey to christ's likeness does not truly begin that is why when you come to jesus in the marriage covenant that he gives us he said you must deny yourself take up your cross and follow him the problem is that in the new covenant we only read our benefits we don't read our obligations that's the kind of gospel that we preach in today's world healing is mine amen we're not saying it's not true prosperity is mine amen we're not saying he's not in the covenant our protection is mine amen we're not saying is that you calculate everything jesus will do for you and minus everything you are to do for him then how is that a covenant a covenant is a two-way commitment what you are proposing by that kind of message is a parasitic relationship a covenant is a symbiotic relationship the greatest thing that spoils marriage is selfishness and self-centeredness [Music] if a couple conquers that they can move it back into the garden of eden that adam and his wife was kicked out from they can make their home a small heaven on earth the christian marriage is a marriage of two selfless people that love each other and they are willing to lay down their life for each other just like jesus did for us they taught us a marriage is service this is meeting each other's needs there will be competition on how to outdo each other in service it will revolutionize your whole concept of marriage and help you to extend revival to our young people and to churches everywhere because the enemy has used this faulty ideology to bring a plague of immorality in the church [Music] the first test is sanctification first thessalonians 4 for you know the commandments this is a command that we give you through our lord jesus christ verse 3 for this is the will of god your sanctification that you should abstain from sexual immorality verse 4 that each of you should know how to possess your own vessel in sanctification and honor verse 5 not impassioned of loss like the gentiles who do not know god like the unbeliever we have imported this thing verse 6 that no one should take advantage and defraud his brother and i can add sister in this matter because the lord is the avenger of all sorts not that word there are consequences that follow these things and many people already carrying apart from diseases and so many things many opened themselves for demonic assaults for the lord is the avenger of all sorts as we have also forewarned you and testified verse 7 for god did not call us to uncleanness but to holiness verse 8. therefore he who rejects this does not reject man it's not pastor david's opinion any other person's opinion who rejects this does not reject man but god who has given us his holy spirit [Music] sacrifice will be the second one but you don't get to that stage of sacrifice there is covenant don't go because somebody says i love you god start spending all your monthly income on him and all kinds of you will see that that does not obtain there might be some nice cities some small small things you do it yes but you don't move to that level of that total giving of yourself it was after david and jonathan entered into covenant genitals stripped his garment gave him remove his sword gave him remove because at that moment david could have killed him he said i emptied my account can you imagine one game even started sending dollars and sending until she has sent because she moved to uk and the guy traveled from nigeria for the days they met he said we are going to marry i love you this one this one because when the case came to me we called it i didn't promise our marriage we only said let us have relationship yesterday sleeping with the girl the guest sent up to 30 000 pounds according to her that she was sending money for him to plan their marriage [Music] and one day she saw advert the guy was waiting i've met that guy in the course of our national youth project this guy calls me and say this is what what what presents evidence of all the different transfers i said i can't do anything but i'll try and talk to his pastor i called the pastor of the church where he attended i said see what is going on i'm sorry to say this they went ahead with the wedding he said come to hear the young man he said they are not even engaged there is anything that is just relationship can't doesn't a guy have a right to change his mind i found out that this is not the one for me he said but what about all the money collected today he said there's no agreement she didn't say his fault you don't do that you carry your school fees and get your parents think you're in school they don't know that you are not in school you just that's the guy because he told you i have this business idea when will you help me just give me three years i will have made money then i will not come and marry you if you didn't see the amount of disasters here if not for jesus and the holy ghost the amount of suicide you'll be hearing even in churches you'll be wondering 30 000 pounds the guy entered flight flew to nigeria he said you have to stop the wedding i said i can't it's not if it's not dominance and even if it's dominion city of course if it's the military who have stopped it because that's criminal activity anyway i won't stop you for money but you must pay all that money back use her money to plan wedding with another person the gears world was wrecked [Music] so [Music] [Music] in our system i still encourage young people to kind of date here but i tell them not more than a month once more one year and i want the ladies especially he is not whatever and and remember that there is no covenant here there is nothing that stops you from going with another person that is serious the guy is nothing there is no covenant here just playing around and fooling around and somebody that is serious comes around you better do something with your life come and see my parents know come and meet my pastor come okay start discipleship let's even know that you are headed somewhere [Music] what paid me in that place is that the pastor ignored all that i went ahead i took note of that because i know him too and two closer than i kept quiet three years passed and he had a leadership role he took a large chunk of their building project and escaped and the country he escaped is where i go off next time i saw him in my meeting came and sat at the man he came ah that day i said who is your daddy he didn't know the man told me what he did and carried that same woman and took off outside and then put two hundred dollars in envelope and came to do all this that i said slapping anointing came on me in u.s i said birds at the end of the day i'm glad you are here sir because you know we have some issues of observation somebody will come to a church like somebody create problem here and run over to dominus i learned from david if you king saul and carry his crown and come near me let me know said completely god bless you guys thank you thank you [Music] [Music] you

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Length: 68min 40sec (4120 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 16 2021