Best of 2020 | PKA Podcast

and we're live marcus top donor and he wants us to use a hammer so yes that's on brand for st louis it is i yeah there was another like how much st louis sucks like big post where it was like st louis records four homicides and five shooting victims in first three hours of the new year it was like can we can it ever just be like st louis man invent something useful you know this is something invented a gun with four girls exactly what i was gonna say because four times the mass shootings of a normal psychopath yeah let me he has a hammer with claws on both ends they're calling a double claw [Laughter] all right what are we watching here they're looking at here oh oh jesus christ i remember i don't know if i could share this no you can't you probably you can't share this one we don't want to and kyle's always on the side of i saw this oh [Applause] who did that so we made a joke like how long we got like six weeks ago three or four three or four weeks later is like everybody now remember to come tribute us and tweet it woody and someone went to our reddit was like give me x amount of upvotes and i'll come tribute taylor and he did i don't want to go and go too deep into politics that's never fun but it's boring did trump do a good thing an incredibly reckless stupid thing that just luckily turned out okay i think he did i think he might have you think so uh andy you don't know i'm the biggest trump critic on the on the call and uh but it appears that he traded iran's number two a queen will say in chess or a couple of empty buildings a pawn at the most if you take out a queen with a pawn i mean look this game doesn't end ever so we'll see you know where that happens but i i mean if we could have traded a few empty buildings for osama bin laden or saddam hussein i think they would have made that trade if trump did that and this game really does end with that score you have to admit it went super well so yeah so i i was like this car is the it's it's incredible and i'm leasing it so i moved back to la after a stint in portland and um i live on i live in hollywood off of a very busy street i mean a ton of foot traffic and [ __ ] and one day i go out of my car and i drive it and um it's like making a bump sound and it's physically shaking so i pull over the side i'm like something's wrong i look around i don't see anything wrong with the car like the wheels are all fine so i call uh get a tow truck they bring it into the shop the shop has my car for four days they're like we don't know what's wrong with it we can't replicate the problem but when we drive at slow speeds we notice it and then eventually they find out because the way that my rims are the lug nuts are tucked in deep into the rim um they were like oh all of your lug nuts are gone and i was like what like except for the one that uses a key to take off all of them are gone yeah and i was like so somebody tried to steal and brick my car in my in my car port so i'm parked on the street or in my carport that has street access something going on in real life that's interesting right now i was reading about still not like all up on it is this chinese like way han city virus have you guys been reading about that coronavirus yeah the corona carrot by sticking a lime in your neck oh that's true this is going to finally be a real deal one or this is going to be like like bird flu again or sars i mean or or what was the other one i think i won five dollars on um what's oh sucks do you lose oh how many people would die of ebola or whatever it was that was it you're right yeah they were blowing ebola uh and i agreed with you they were blowing it up but i still thought it would kill like 15 people because like like it was a low number i think it was like 15 people are one american yeah anyway so i'm behind this 50 cal because i you had to be qualified on the guns to shoot them and um i'm behind this 50k and i'm shooting and i get i got about three or four hundred rounds and i had the stoppage as um there's different types of stoppages but this one was called called a hard [ __ ] and so what happens is the cocking handle wouldn't go all the way back it was jammed halfway and so my section commander came over and started kicking the [ __ ] out of it like that's that's actually how you actually get it out right so you got to just keep the [ __ ] out of it because they're big [ __ ] guns um it kicks the [ __ ] out and it finally dislodges the the um the round that was stuck in there or whatever it was and in the process of this something happened and i'll get back to that so my uh uh company sergeant major was standing right behind me he's in charge of the the gun line and he's like yep continue firing i'm like yep scene i'm firing down and i went to shoot it and the gun blew up right legit just a massive breach explosion um big puffer like smoke and just metal going around and like natural reaction i covered my face and hit the deck right because and i try to explain it but imagine having a tripod going i don't know down like that it's hard to [ __ ] explain it but you have your feet up on the [ __ ] legs and your groin is aiming directly at this [ __ ] 50 cal so your dick everything's just exposed to this gun and the breach on a 50 cal is underneath it so everything that comes out goes down um so when it blew up i hit the deck and i'm covering my face my company side major was standing behind me he's like you're right you're up like yeah her face is good but my leg [ __ ] hurts and there's like blood coming out of my leg right next to my like right where your female artery is so it's like right up in my groin [ __ ] um and it's just like seeping out like not like gushing but i was like it was [ __ ] hurting and so instantly like we knew something happened and um a bit of the the the cartridge blew out of the bottom went in missed my femoral artery it's missed all my nerves and just lodged right up my groin and like it was like the first time anything like that had happened any time recently so i was like big stop stop stop and then um the ambulance got called forward but the ambulance didn't know where the [ __ ] they went to the wrong spot and it's like i don't know if you guys heard shaq talking recently about kobe bryant dying the video is huge right now i don't have 15 million views in a day or something like that it's really heartfelt this is a shocking video we should watch it it's probably nba in you know the nba yeah um but i i strongly suggest anybody out there that's interested at all like it doesn't matter if you're interested in kobe bryant or basketball or shaq it's just it's sort of a life lesson of him regretting not spending more time with kobe and really not spending more time telling him how he felt about him and and so so you know people that have lost people like that i think all of us sort of try to do that like i i try to tell everybody that i care about that i care about them i guess you two will notice you know you know you don't hear that too much from me take a hint never not once nothing not once not once that's intentional [Laughter] [ __ ] but it's important no i love you guys i really do you guys a big part of my life i love both of you i really do from the heart really really love you guys i wish the best for you all the time i really do um even though you're misguided and you don't want to have those kids and you just [Laughter] so i got my dna test back yes i've got um i've got a few screenshots here um so here's the one that's sort of the broad strokes if you want to show let me make sure i'm not over sharing i was surprised when i said you're five percent gay yeah shocker and that's what happens when you ejaculate in that cup that would be a hilarious inexpensive bit and just send him a cup of [ __ ] yeah so uh man you're not as [ __ ] i'm just making sure you're not [ __ ] sure last name's fine to share yeah no it's out there but white as [ __ ] yeah then court records um 99.7 percent european all right british and irish 90 is 63 percent it seems like most of my ancestors hail from uh mostly irish london and dublin ireland yeah yeah uh 16 french and german a little bit of scandinavian classic self-hating irishman yes just a just a speck no there's this a speck of spanish and portuguese uh just a little taste did you say speck on purpose for that one i did i took me a second to catch on here's the most interesting thing uh out of the whole face so i also did i could show you like the screenshots of like all the traits but it's literally like nothing bad and everything good it's kind of boring where's the neanderthal part that right here yeah that spoiler alert um i have 315 neanderthal silhouette picture this is more than 95 of 23. maybe like a couple days ago i tweeted there was a joe rogan episode it was with um uh an astronaut his name i've forgotten it was just an exceptionally good episode just real recent right yeah and the guy was super fast super interesting led this really really cool life and i talked talked about all these different things he was doing in his life to on the joe rogan show and it's just like he was just a phenomenal guest for that and i tweeted out i tweeted out that episode to my viewers to on my twitter it was like you know this is really [ __ ] cool and i immediately got one of the first comments back was essentially um i don't like joe rogan because of his political views and i'm just like what in the [ __ ] yeah how is this related to anything here this is like mentioned this in channel like i think i was talking about today and one of my kind of like one of my mods was like yeah i don't like joe rogan he's misogynistic i'm just like i watched a lot of joe rogan it seems really weird to me that that and i've heard this before i've heard this elsewhere that this type of [ __ ] gets like projected that way and it's just like i know this is this is for me a continuation of our previous conversation about this this is the woke culture [ __ ] and i really i find myself you know granted i'm a [ __ ] white male living in northern wisconsin with limited like limited social interaction to some degree with a lot of people but like the same level i [ __ ] really don't like this [ __ ] of like it getting gated like why am i not able to make my own decisions why aren't people making their own decisions about this [ __ ] why is this kind of like this person's this person's a misogynist this person's like he got what was the other thing it's transphobic yeah yeah what happened was that he said that he was probably going to vote for bernie sanders already or he might something kind of almost wishy-washy and so people who want to attack bernie sanders sort of uh before that he's been hit with transphobia what no this is this is brand new this is it's it's gotten really big lately it's so the people that want to attack bernie sanders so bernie sanders retweeted like joe rogan saying that or thanked him or something like that and as a way of attacking bernie sanders they bring up um his quote unquote transphobia which amounts to him saying that trans athletes shouldn't be competing against biological women especially in combat sports that's the most transphobic thing he said well yeah by the way he's joking around he is a [ __ ] comedian yeah don't put that out there into the zeitgeist we're strongly anti-condom on this show you listen to taylor all you want unless you want to ruin your sex all i i've seen many men fall prey to this tailor-ism that that you're seeing work it's much it's work it's dark magic on here i'm not convinced he hasn't been cursed all right i have seen young strong virulent men men who went out and got found different women every week if they wanted to or long-term girlfriends if they wanted to had all the free time to travel the country be out when they wanted to talk about what they wanted to be jeremy jeremy's a rotten mouth [ __ ] hillbilly i'm talking about people like scott for example or um a number of people that i grew up with you know went to high school with like like a lot of the good looking fit guys and it's like oh up and go go get married at 19 years old that's smart in it hey i'm barely even have a fully developed brain let me just ruin my whole life trust me i'm almost almost 34 years old here i have made the right decision in this regard all right you do not i am responsible for nothing [Laughter] now you may say oh but my life i feel so unfulfilled do you know my kill death ratio isn't tarkov you [ __ ] [Laughter] seriously that kill death ratio will take care of you i was just saying you know there's one thing i know that's the i love when they bring up that rationale that's the greediest most selfish reason for procreation and marriage you just said you didn't want to do it so you could do whatever you want all the time that is right yeah so that somebody could be your servant and nursemaid i was making a joke about you no you weren't you always bring that one up you're literally being alone and kyle do you have any formal improv training tons ah yeah i thought so the consummate expert people call kyle mostly they had an improv group in prison yeah they have an incorruptible prison yeah yeah now tommy you're acting out of rape you're not supposed to rape written man how am i supposed to get in character if i'm not like really into it dude if i'm not [ __ ] hard then i'm not gonna pretend to be hard you know that's not the kind of thing i'm gonna do you know what i came in thinking you know we pretend but he's so cute i'm just trying to get out of making the [ __ ] license plates honestly man can i be like a plant or something i just don't want to go do the carpenter stuff i stabbed four days ago did you pay me or something this isn't waking up to what they've done to him did you paint me there's this [ __ ] doesn't have an ounce of muscle on them it's all just booze fat oh that's a mirror you just looked in the world on the door like i don't know what kind of [ __ ] loser [ __ ] you guys are on to paint me what [ __ ] you dude seriously he's skinnier than i thought yeah look at my [ __ ] face he's lost weight whatever money you made for your [ __ ] loser ass stream no content [ __ ] ass stream pay me now or get the [ __ ] the stream had content i just swear to god dude okay i'll pay you pay me now whatever money you made to paint me looks like a [ __ ] clown dude pay me now give me your phone dude you're drunk dude that's my money pay me now blake can you relax no no [ __ ] that dude i will [ __ ] clown dude [Applause] me it's becoming very interesting i think the most interesting thing is that all the sports all the major sports have either postponed or cancelled their seasons or in the case of college basketball it seems empty stadiums you know they did they canceled march madness it sounded like you didn't know that i didn't know that it seemed to me that they were just gonna do empty stadiums i didn't know they full on cancelled it holy [ __ ] that's all on reddit let me let me just check the source like a billion dollar event or something i think i saw like i mean nhl my golden knights they're in the lead in their division i don't know what's going to happen to him you know second place in the in the conference they're they're tearing it up but if they if you guys are only two games you know only and win in the win column i think we got 49 wins you got like 51. no nobody's got we've got 42 you guys probably have 40 if you got two less i don't know i'm gonna be i think i would be so so impressed if you got that right uh in any case you know like like baseball and everything close enough the big fear is is ufc of course that this tony could be a fight it's gonna get [ __ ] canceled because of a corona virus i'm losing their mind it had a long talk with my dad the other day and i laid it all out with him i'm like since time and memoriam tony ferguson and khabib nurmagomedov have been slated to battle one another and time and time again is slipped through our fingers but this time no way anything happens and here we are every sporting event is being canceled and this thing's coming up next month and i think i hope they fight in an empty arena i hope they fight in an empty arena and just make it [ __ ] happy um kyle can i ask you because one of the first things i thought of when i heard that everyone had to stay inside was i was like oh i think i know someone whose life wouldn't change yeah not too much i go i haven't been in my car in like two weeks now like i i do go out to do stuff like i i like play a little airsoft i like to go to the movies i i love doing like shopping at fancy places because i like to cook i like to go get really gourmet stuff but i am locked down we've talked about it at length on the show but so don't go go too far into it but yeah i'm quarantined down because i really don't want to get this thing because i really don't want to pass it on to family members who'd be more susceptible yeah and uh and i don't want to joke about corona at all it's it's not right joking kyle i think i was more locked down than you like i went outside i took the golf cart to get my all right so i heard about tiger k i saw it on netflix it looks dumb like like this the like the picture of it or whatever it's [ __ ] i would have never clicked it if you hadn't said it never would have clicked it but i heard so many people talking about her bert christopher talking about it um lots of celebrities and lots of people i know we're just like you got to watch it you got to watch you got to watch it so we start watching this [ __ ] and essentially art so it's about it's about people who keep uh tigers tigers yeah exotic cats and there's this group of people across the country one's in myrtle beach one's in bum [ __ ] oklahoma one's in tampa florida and they all have these parks where they have big cats lions and tigers and bears and wolves and everything you can imagine alligators yeah it's like a zoo they have their own little private zoos and they are all each one is more interesting than the last one of these guys is a gay mullet-wearing gun-toting polygamist homosexual with about 12 piercings on his face he is the tiger king yeah there are a lot of flat earthers out there they're a lot of people i don't think there's a whole there's a i'm not sure if the three of you are aware this there's a there's a whole movement of people they don't think birds are real well they're not i think the birds are being charged by the power lines that's why they sit there no no no everybody is in quarantine so they can charge the bird [Laughter] i have seen illustrations of like what the inside of a bird supposedly looks like and it's all mechanical like the [ __ ] terminator yeah what is this a website invention you don't see any old pictures of birds like from each other you know whenever something comes up i i i don't dismiss things out of hand i don't say ha [ __ ] i'm too smart to even look into that no i'll look into even the craziest things but all i had to do was do what you just did woody i went man i'm pretty sure they talk about birds in the bible and like dude all sorts of ancient texts you know like like da vinci there's plenty of illustrations i mean look at the egyptian uh uh hieroglyphics you know with the birds and the ottoman [ __ ] you know like and then phones from the dinosaurs maybe they've been here the whole time watching waiting looking i realize that that's absurd because i've shot many birds in real life and torn them apart with my hands and eaten them and they were there were no metal bits in there is the birds aren't real movement dinosaur denial oh i'm familiar with the dinosaur denial movement as well are they the same people though because dinosaurs were birds is my understanding from like oh well you would have to believe every channel show these are not the type of people who believe in evolution she has suggested we do a bit where we all bought minoxidil and uh we were going to do like chiz and kyle or yeah jizz and kyle were going to be like i'm going to apply a bunch of minoxidil to my face get my beard growing thicker and she was either chiseled kyle was like taylor you buy some too and spread it all over your face and grow even more hair and i'm like that's hilarious i just dropped 65 on amazon for this it was maybe like three days later after i had got it taken a picture and sent it to our you know me kyle woody and shiz group chat that she has like messaged me on discord or something was like hey man i know you already bought it but i've been doing a lot of research about this and i highly recommend you do not apply this this is not a bit for us to do it's a box don't worry if you don't need to grow hair please taylor do not be putting this on your face on your head and you might get hair follicles on your fingertips or something and i was like okay all right and then i i literally i kept that under there under my sink six bottles seven bottles of it it came with one of them like a six bonus pack and because that's this whole thing were you gonna do a werewolf with it i was gonna put that i was gonna put it all over my face and then a friend of mine who's been going bald since we were like 16 honestly it's okay because he's like six five and so he can he can get nobody sees the top of his head and i gave it to him and he told me that he would start using it but i haven't noticed any hair growth so i bet he forgot yeah yeah yeah a lot of people don't realize that it's like minoxidil is like fda approved and it's the over-the-counter thing to use for hair and whatnot but it's like the way it works is actually pretty like intense like it causes a bunch of vasodilation it can lower your blood pressure a [ __ ] ton and that's sort of how it facilitates the hair growth and some people get like heart arrhythmias and [ __ ] like i know some people have ended up in the hospital just from minoxidil i think that's what turned us off to it like it sounded funny it sounded funny at first but then it was just like wait there are health concerns to rogaine when i was in prison i was looking for anything and everything to read because that's how i wanted to spend my time i don't get mixed up with the with the rough uh rough crowd in there or raped so i spent all of my time reading i read maybe a dozen books and uh and i would talk on the prison phone occasionally to to various people in my life and one of them was chiz you know the guy who runs like the background of the show and uh and i was like yeah any books that you think would be good [ __ ] send them to me they'll search them for contraband and then i'll get them a date later dude if you would have been in that prison for two more months they've been like yeah that's kyle but they call him the professor pretty much it's pretty much all i know about harry potter you know i read the whole harry potter series i'm not gonna lie all the way through it took me a week but and uh chis also put something else together that none of us have seen that i'm not sure when we're gonna we're gonna tap into that it's apparently kyle you set the stage do you know more yeah so buckle up boys if you're if you're listening this uh you know around the world so what we have here is we and and based on what i understand uh i wanted this to be a surprise i have not seen it but i uh i think what chiz did is he contacted a lot of our previous guests i don't know who or how many but he had them like do a little video blurb about us or to us sort of reacting to the hey it's 10 years what do you want to say to the guys and uh they all sent these little selfie videos into chiz and [ __ ] them and i hope so those man that'd be funny he edited down all of these little clips into just the [ __ ] cream of the crop and it was 45 minutes long so work for the next 45 minutes everyone sit down you know so so we said all of us collectively including chips we're like 45 minutes might be way way way too [ __ ] absolutely so he went back to our 10-year anniversary it's a clip show so he went back to the editing room and he he edited he edited the cream down to the diamond encrusted platinum that came out to 25 minutes of uh of little blurbs from our yes cream turns into diamond covered platinum and uh and he edited it down 25 minutes and then chis split that 25 minutes in half so we have two 12.5 minute videos uh of prior guests saying something about us god knows what if he got some of them you know uh god i hope shoenice is in there calling us a lesbian book club again oh wow i really don't i don't know if he's still alive i don't know if he has internet so anyway let's see that hot sauce again yeah so i'm making hot sauce so what i'm doing is i'm fermenting the peppers so these ferment for a week uh or up to two weeks so what i've got in there i've got um habaneros jalapenos poblanos and banana peppers uh because i wanted like a variety a little variety that's a habanero that dark green there's jalapeno do you just throw them in there raw or slice it at first i sliced them up i threw them in there and i added uh salt water and there's i think you do one and quarter teaspoons of sea salt per cup of water if that matters that's the ratio and um i threw in some cardamom pods and some black peppercorn and that's about it and they'll sit in there for one to two weeks i burp it every day because it's fermenting and i'll go you know get the gas out so this jar doesn't shatter and then at the end of two weeks once it's all fermented i take i separate the brine from the peppers i blend the peppers into like a puree and then i add like the brine plus some apple cider vinegar and any more seasonings that i want to add if i want to add some cumin or i don't know any honey or anything else like that and i've got hot sauce and it's fermented hot sauce that i can how much is that gonna make like don't know probably not a jar that size full right oh probably not a jar that size maybe though because some of those peppers are so goddamn hot there's habaneros especially and those are those are like real jalapenos not the [ __ ] ones that that most people get now they they breed jalapenos now so a lot cooler than they used to be they're supposed to be five to seven thousand scoville units um you let the seeds in there i hope that's where all that the spicy goodness is yeah i think you can maybe see jalapeno without the seeds in it is depressing it's not yeah lately you see some seeds there yeah um my favorite uh you mentioned that people would call in and say the n word but they would also call you a rapist now i don't have to ask why they would call you a rapist unfortunately because like one of my favorite clips of you on like the party rv is when you look at that i can't think of that pretty blonde girl's name but you're like you're blitzed so i i i feel like we should forgive you and everyone should for saying this but you just look at her with these super drunk eyes and kind of lean in you're sitting real close and you go you ever been raped i know and she goes no and you go lean in a little closer you should be i know i know i love that quote i love that i want that to be my ringtone [Laughter] we can get that done for you so are you in california danny mullen is that right yes sir los angeles how's your quarantine you'd stay in inside i'm not obeying it uh-huh i'm not obeying it actually i did a video called kissing girls in las vegas during coronavirus during the most serious week of this whole thing that was another funny it was good man it got taken down for copyright but i have an attorney fighting back i don't know if you saw taylor there was a lesbian woman who i made out with that lesbian woman's wife and she was the one who sent out the copyright complaint got the video taken down oh it's not copyright it's he can't copyright another bitch's [ __ ] he was a golden gloves boxer and he had a lot of fights in a row and he always won and then he fought a rule 11 inmate called buster beets now that means a mentally ill person rule 11 there was this foul meal that nobody would eat called red death and this guy would just put it in plastic bags and eat it all day long and um he was my cell mate briefly as well he um he like took the legs off crickets and mosquitoes and and and beat them with little rolled up pieces of toilet paper but he would just pull the legs off until it's a torso and then he would beat them with a roll-up yeah and say um good mosquito you're not going to leave me now things like that this rap called dead body hoes about uh having sex with the corpses of britney spears and christine aguilera and all this stuff and the prisoners would always make him do it anyway the golden gloves boxer nick he ended up in a fight with uh buster beats and bust the beats these rule 11 guys they've got this crazy strength [Laughter] he kept like marco i mean but um the golden gloves guy nick just kept beating the [ __ ] out of buster beats and he'd say like i give up i give up he'd go to leave the cell what's the beach would like jump back up bounce off the wall like spider-man jump on this went up for about 20 minutes 30 minutes and nick's like just punched he's going up against the wall just punch punch punch punch i think he's gonna kill this guy and nick um he's his hand he broke his knuckle his hand swelled up like the size of the grapefruit pieces of teeth of both of them had come off and and after that nick said look i'm sick of being the head of the whites you know [Laughter] you guys have never taken heroin have you because if you have taken [ __ ] heroin within a minute god comes down from heaven and plants a [ __ ] kiss wait and he had a vagina man no it was sounds pretty please [ __ ] me you guys have never taken heroin i haven't nobody knows [Laughter] i got that thing taken off my eye last week and uh and and what do you ask me like like you know it wasn't cancer or anything was it and i was like no no the uh the doctor assured me that because there were eyelashes growing through it that's a that's a sign it's not cancer well they call me uh friday and they go so it's cancer [Music] they dude me friday and uh and she's like she's like uh the doctor would like to talk to you about your test results and i'm like okay well you know tell me and and she's like well he wants you to come in and i'm like that's not a good sign um well i can't come in and my dad just had come in that day so like like he's he literally has walked in the door like as i'm on the phone and i'm like i can't come in today and and it's memorial day weekend so like it's gonna be tuesday which is tuesday a couple days ago before i can get in there and actually see this guy i'm like it'll be tuesday before i can get in there to see him just tell me and she's like hang on i'm gonna get him and i'm like oh this is bad and the doctor comes on he's like ah so um i was wrong um the test results came back it's it's cancer you you have cancer and i'm like ah well that sucks he's like yeah we're gonna have to he's like he's like lumberg on an office yeah we're gonna need to go back into your eye on saturday and uh remove a little more skin on sunday and get clean margins for monday so that you don't die and i'm like well that'd be great can you go so he also made the mistake of white tv hour like they had uh their apparently like kyle said they have racial tvs except uh the guy who was full i hope that's where this is going uh the guy named rocker who's the black guy in charge and this block the black gang is the most powerful i think was the other block where it was the white gang that's the most powerful so there are different dynamics there but they're not interacting obviously and it's the white guy who looks like lord farquaad the head of the whites is like hey it's your day you know pick what's on tv dude pick what you want and the guy's like i don't know i didn't know what to pick i didn't i didn't want to ruin white tv day is what he said and he goes espn and then everybody's going oh oh and he's like but it's march madness well you guys don't want to watch march madness and then they turn it on that he sits down and looks away from the tv and rocker starts going how are you going to put it on espn you're not even watching the tv give me the remote and he's like yelling and and this poor preacher guy is like alone in his little confessional later and he's like well i ruined white tv day so that guy that guy i like that's cool yeah the coven stuff is interesting that it's staging some sort of comeback i'm sure these riots and protests are great good for it to spread yeah right um well i mean they're starting a lot of fires and i think that that's probably good at killing the virus and and the police seem to be spraying a lot of pepper spray and i think maybe that's probably it might be lysol you don't know that that would be funny actually that the cops are being such pieces of [ __ ] the people are literally there protesting police brutality and the cops are like i know what we should do we should be brutal they took the beverly woodworth you think you're crying i'll give you something to cry about approach yeah yeah and they're gonna brutalize their way right out of a [ __ ] job and i'm thrilled dude thrilled have you seen it i i did another part i liked was once you started to get your your mojo your groove going you were like i'm gonna i'm a christian man i'm gonna get a bible study rocking and rolling in here and you just start yelling in the pod bible study bible study and i could i could tell the body language because you did the like uh the shoulder pop like moving around the bible study by like imitating the prison the head bobbin kind of thing and i was like as i'm watching i'm like please someone go to his bible study just one guy go to his bible study and then and no one wanted to learn about the bible that shocked me because i was like i thought that was a safe bet in prison like there's so many people there who are you know born again or whatever like and there were no takers no questions so so can i can i can i unveil the curtain of tv max yeah okay okay awesome i still look woody i'm still down to do that consent app that we were talking about the other day genius taylor made it seem like it was not cool taylor taylor's a jabroni you don't listen to him we'll cut him right out yeah all right all right i'll market it you you create it and look look both partners put their thumbprint down right the phone has that and and there's like a it's it's a [ __ ] legal contract right there right for yeah are you submit consenting not submitting submitting and consenting that might be a different form to like oral copulation anal copulation maybe some foreign objects bringing it just just find the list of charges against ron jeremy and by the way i think that's a great idea for an app but here's my question when they sign when people sign a consent form do you know going in what people are consenting to do you know what i mean that's what these check boxes are that's the list that he just gave oral anal vaginal foreign objects she thumb prints next to everything she's down for she checks it she does a little digital signature just like you can do like like when you're [ __ ] working your bank account on your phone and she scans her [ __ ] thumbprint you're like yes and maybe you you know get you know [ __ ] face thing and everything just just to be safe it should be like a grocery shopping app where it remembers your previous orders and says oh same thing as last order [ __ ] yeah yep yep reorder reorder you need to buy novelty musical instruments on amazon that people donate exactly people like like someone said hey if i give you six bucks will you get a slide whistle i love how these are all within grabbing distance around here james has this super long uh super long like very wholesome thing about being frugal and preparing for the worst as you go [Laughter] i mean this is it goes into it do it this is the worst yeah i got it for a second there was no preparing for this no sounds like a tuba a little bit [Music] that was good i love the pride like hey guys did you see me i was walking around my living room scaring the [ __ ] out of my dogs today just blowing this thing oh they hate the didgeridoo okay and then until then i can get that gun question because you said you like a gun are you an aficionado or like yeah sounds like you like a gun yeah i ran the biggest gun youtube channel in the world for uh for for years um i i owned uh well over 100 guns and i don't like to use the word expert but uh i'm pretty well versed got you okay so is there a way to get gun online yeah okay so so you're gonna um you're gonna so you're gonna wanna you have to go through your local gun store or get yourself a um a federal firearms um license so that you are in fact a store if you wanted it like directly mailed to you what there isn't and this is one of those political hot button issues people see talk about online gun sales and how there's no background check and that's just a lie that people people tell what what happens when you buy a gun online is they ask you for your you know what dealer do we need to mail this to and then they mail the gun to your local dealer your local gun store and then you go into that gun store and you're like hey is the gun here they're like yeah this one's for you bill just fill out your background check show me your identification we'll run your paperwork we'll handle the transaction and we're done the the reason to buy guns online is if you're getting a good price like better than you'd get in a gun store or if you're buying like a used firearm from another individual like if i want to sell you a gun not me because i can't anymore but if if woody wanted to sell you a gun um the purely hypothetical yeah if you guys were in the same room you just give him 500 and he could he'd hand you the firearm and that's perfectly legal but if you wanted to do some shipping then you would give him your local gun stores information just their address and all that stuff and he would go to his uh gun store and they would mail the gun uh you know through ups to the gun store and you'd go in there fill the paperwork out and they'd handle the transaction for you all right so is there so i will make the case that at absolute best and this is at absolute best helen k helen keller was able to say and comprehend a few words and short phrases all the advanced speech she gave was trained and rehearsed for her by her trainer and teacher anne sullivan almost like a parent more than a person wow and so i will say this she went blind and deaf at 19 months old do you know what the prognosis is for children who go blind and deaf at 19 months old in the year 2020 as opposed to the 225 years ago it's that they will never be able to function in society they will never be able to communicate they will not be able to engage in normal behavior there is no hope you just have to mitigate it i looked up a lot of reviews of people who talk about this kind of thing who work with blind deaf people and what they say is that you're way more likely to have to engage with them lashing out violently at you because of confusion and you know it's sad they're totally distanced from reality and so they obviously lash out you're way more likely to engage in that kind of behavior from these patients than you are them trying to read because they can't read there's a fundamental level of perception that you need in order to engage with anyone on any meaningful level and that includes both audio and visual you know or i don't you don't need both because i've never thought of this there are deaf people who can communicate and there are blind people who can communicate but that's only because blind people take advantage of audio deaf people take advantage of visual that's the only reason that it's able to be done is it a coincidence that in all of human history there have been blind deaf people not once not once in human history other than helen keller have they been able to engage with someone like this and speak in this way and also and you may say to me oh there was 150 there was someone 50 years prior to helen keller that was also a taught blind deaf uh person that person is even less credible than helen keller [Laughter] they literally are i i went on a deep [ __ ] diving i believe you're [ __ ] on them this is awesome so all that going on we had stocked up on supplies including some canned goods i ordered a few weeks ago and 30 cans of beans 10 black beans 10 kidney beans and 10 are pink beans i also ordered 15 cans of chickpeas i thought this be a reasonable amount of beans and chickpeas to have every now and then it would last for some time this is three months ago is coronavirus stocking up okay however earlier this week i opened the cabinet because i wanted to make a vegetarian chili using two cans of beans all of the beans were gone what the hell so i asked my girlfriend and she told me she buried all the beans in the woods at first i thought she was joking but she explained no she had buried these beans in the woods what the [ __ ] i asked you would explain and she told me that she was afraid that if things get bad we might have to worry about looters or whatever and that the beans would be in danger of being stolen i thought that was completely ridiculous and unlikely and she got angry at me and said she's protecting our beans according to her logic the beans are safely buried in the woods behind our carp apartment complex and if we ever need to get some beans we'll go to the stash dig up a can or two but prefer it if we could save them you know just in case things get worse i said why only bury the beans why not bury our more valuable items she said the canned food was our most valuable item for long-term means and then since we have fresh fruit and online grocery deliveries it would make sense to continue to stockpile more beans she intends to go bury more beans in the woods every week this was too insane for me and i got really upset i demanded that we go to where the beans are buried and she refused to tell me she said that if i knew she was afraid i would dig up the beans and i said damn right i would dig up the beans she said i will never jeopardize the beans so the following the following day i tried to put my foot down i'm not usually a foot downer but there are rare issues where compromise is out of the question and i foolishly decided that this was one of those issues i demanded to know where the beans were buried and i told her that if she was going to bury the beans i paid for in the woods that i would move out we fought about it and i kept insisting in hindsight i should have just let it go and created my own hidden stash of beans in the apartment and given her time to cool down about this bean buying scenario but i blew it all out of proportion and it's weird to bury the beans in the woods but why do i have to press it what's the harm at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things but i kept demanding her to take me to the beans or at least draw a map or something take take me to the beans finally she broke up with me over the beans i've lost the love of my life because i couldn't let the damn beans go i am in disbelief she no has moved out now i am not only heartbroken but i'm now paying full rent instead of fifty percent which is too long didn't we i kept demanding that my girlfriend showed me where she buried the beans in the woods and she got so angry at me she ended our relationship and moved out my heart is shattered and my finances are jeopardized because of a bean horde no [ __ ] that bean [ __ ] [ __ ] that bean bearing [ __ ] all right this is nate is we've we've watched most seasons of 60 days in and we have kind of a power ranking of as the ep as the seasons start we'll be like oh dude this guy's going to be a [ __ ] this girl's going to be good this guy sucks dick and then every once in a while and you invest in them and so i'm like oh this guy's a very high tea so i'll throw some cash into him but then he'll get beat up and it's like i lose all my money which is unfortunate you are the highest tea highest stock of anyone on the show in the show's history i made a lot of fake money on you so i appreciate that i appreciate it yeah so we had uh we had mark from 60 days in on and his experience was a lot different than yours to say the least and for those of you aren't familiar six days and you're going for 60 days in prison nate you're the only person who did 120 days in is that right yeah so i'm the only person to do two seasons yeah were you when they because basically you did so well that the guard's like hey you want to just hang out and what were your thoughts when he came to you were you like [ __ ] this or were you like no i want to be the best [ __ ] this show's ever seen so i mean to be honest uh when they asked at first just pride kicked in right i mean it was just kind of like one of those things yeah let's run it and then when i realized that they were not kidding they were being serious i was like whoa oh man i gotta think about this for at least a day completely i want to talk about that explosion in beirut cause that was [ __ ] insane what do you think that was i only watched one video that was prelimonium nitrate stored in a [ __ ] uh warehouse they've done the math it it's it's the biggest tannerite explosion in [ __ ] history i don't know what got mixed with the tannerite to like activate it because it's not tanner the ammonium nitrate to activate it like oklahoma city it was fuel oil and it creates this whole compound when you mix fuel oil with ammonium nitrate i don't know what could have mixed with that and there it was in these bags and don't think like the kind of bag like you'd throw over your shoulder i think the kind of bag that would fill up like a small toyota pickup truck like like the rear of it one bag of it like think of one of those bags that they put uh foam peanuts in but ten times bigger than that full of ammonium nitrate let me lay out what happened because i think taylor doesn't know and probably a lot of viewers don't too there was a ship filled with ammonium nitrate there's a giant ship it had thousands of kilograms of ammonium nitrate and then something went wrong with the ship some sort of technical problem that wasn't detailed they were going to mozambique and they had to stop in beirut and then they got to beirut the thing never got approved there was they realized it was dangerous to keep all this ammonium nitrate on a ship so then they put it in a warehouse and it just sat in a warehouse for years years it sat in a warehouse as they like tried to sort of figure out like i don't know uh what to do about it and um [ __ ] i get my videos all [ __ ] up but uh they sat there in this warehouse for years and then something sparked it this guy does ben shapiro's annoying ass voice and you know ben shapiro was like making those stupid comments about like [ __ ] or some show that some song that yeah vapes that cardi b made and he was like doing his like over-the-top stupid analysis and trying to make it much more of a thing about culture than it was and this guy really does the ben shapiro voice well and he's not even mocking that much what ben shapiro was saying like ben was like and these people are talking about wet vaginas my wife would tell you that you know that might be a disease you're dealing like he didn't people he was getting roasted for like questioning them let me give a little background for people who haven't seen this meme um so i guess there's a song i haven't seen the song but it's like wet ass [ __ ] and the girl talks about just how turned on she is and how wet she is and stuff like that well ben shapiro's wife is a doctor and she had like a couple of like diagnosis is why they're someone suppose he might be that wet and uh so ben shapiro came out he's like it might be vaginitis it might be this then everyone took it as the greatest cell phone ever it was he doesn't know that women's [ __ ] get wet when they're turned on and his wife tried to convince him that a wet [ __ ] is really a disease and not something that would happen very often and and what yeah it was it people weren't trying to say it was a great cell phone it was an incredible cell phone so i didn't know all that i thought because i saw those like it's that meme where the guy's sitting in front of like a college with a table and there's a sign in front of it says wet [ __ ] don't exist convince me you know change my mind change my mind yeah it's that meme and i was just like okay so they're just making fun of like the very idea that ben shapiro doesn't know about turning women on okay i heard i i was playing some games last night and i heard and somebody was like woody's visiting the prison you were at kyle and i'm like i'm like he flew over there like no he landed we were trying to rescue snow it's a rescue mission they're getting snow would you free cam it and go around the prison uh well we we didn't we did manage to successfully land we didn't take off successfully so poor no it's done but uh yeah and now now you're locked up with him but um you know the chat had these ideas on where they wanted to go so so i'm dressed up in my like amelia earhart goggles and the scarf and [ __ ] and uh we're going from place to place so it's like where do you want to go find the closest airport to mount everest you launch and you get there and um the we went to my house we went to mount everest we went to the pyramids and one of the places island we went to epstein's island we went to conway and did a flyby of both wendy's in the eventful stream but they wanted to see taliga talladega federal penitentiary uh you know they were really into that and it turns out it has a really big like grassy area with no trees that we could land in so we checked that out that was one of the more successful locations because it looked good so what kyle do you remember the name of the guy was shot in the back seven times no ah shucks all right so i hope i have my story right i'm doing my best i think two women fighting on a sidewalk black guy had a car with three kids stops to break up this fight during the fight breaking up process two police come and they're like questioning the dude who broke it up like i don't know working with him or something he's having none of it and this is about when the footage i saw starts so the other stuff i just heard about he's having none of it and the cops are like trying to put cuffs on him he does that move where your arms are back and you kind of wiggle away and like torpedo they try to taser him and that doesn't work and making stuff up maybe the barbs didn't get skinned they were in loose t-shirt or something like that but the tasering didn't work and he is headed towards the driver's seat and he gets the car door open and that's when they shoot him one guy i think shoots him seven times in the back he's alive but he's paralyzed and um [Music] this has like you know america's racial tensions which are already kind of spiking right now re-spiked it's a big problem i follow the nba a lot um they wouldn't play they did this the first team out there was like we're not playing this is ridiculous we need to bring attention to this uh bad stuff that's going on and then all the games get cancelled baseball games get canceled hockey keeps playing but they're they're canceled tonight um and uh so this is you know directing even more attention on it etc uh and that's i guess the still ongoing thing a lot in kenosha whatever it is and like you're it's like from the curb you know where you look and you see the the rows of cars every single one blackened to a crisp like so it must have you they're parked close enough to go from car to car if they're if no one makes you never going to put them out i have a guess and nobody can put it out i'd like to see it right and put that [ __ ] out so wikipedia which is generally true i trust it mostly um but here it is oh [ __ ] that's wrecked just that's not the one is it because it looks like it might be it's hard to tell uh that looks like the one there may have been multiple like it was well i i don't know how close this was to the the shooting and stuff like ours is that i just know i've seen this photo yeah dozens it's like 30 [ __ ] cars like oh look at that one kind of blue chrysler 300 the back third they burnt the dealership too of course yeah i saw oh it's burnt that crazy three hours worse than it looks they're like melted today i saw this uh this black lady who owned like a citgo gas station and they've ruined her gas station it's all [ __ ] up and she's standing outside of it like don't y'all know this is a black owned business what and i'm thinking like this is in the wrong subreddit boys this is not a public freak out this is a justice served i love that she i love that she had the gall to say that like hey you burnt down the wrong business there's a white guy who owns a gas station down the road he's the one you should punish oh my god that guy's making his millions on his gas station what did this happen the first night what did the burning yeah yeah i think the burning was the first night didn't get covered that heavy you're right and i i really pride myself on like watching fox news and seeing you oh she said they got the wrong store joe rogan's the one i wonder about now i i it said 20 million this is like four years ago his podcast has just been booming and then he got that 100 million spotify deal have you seen joe rogan's new studio yeah it's like a cockpit or not a cockpit but fuselage everybody hates it they hate it um we were watching it on my my stream last night and just my chat universally you'd i don't like it either and before i saw it i thought but i don't care right it's the quality of the conversation that's what i'm listening for but then i saw it and i was like uh no this is why is it red right is it all and this this like gold statue in the corner that looks [ __ ] that's taking up so much space it feels feels crowded in here it is crowded right yeah i don't like it he couldn't have made a better studio with with real walls than a bunker um yeah i don't really i don't watch his podcast so i don't really really matter but that's weird i can't play it because i don't like it like the but the thing is like it doesn't bother me it's just it's i prefer the old the old way and look maybe he'll probably [ __ ] change it next year i mean oh yeah like i've and like some of the reviews from people who are just doing like look at me i'm strong reviews where they'd be like yeah there's black tower uh it's great for most people if you try and load up 400 pounds on the pull down you know it just can't handle it's like you're you're absurd sir you shouldn't be putting a [Laughter] if you've gotten a 400 pound lap poles you should be earning enough for your equipment at the at the bodybuilding shows that you're clearly going to yeah yeah you should be you should be sponsored by someone you should be sponsored by the lat kings or whoever the latin that's a great name for uh for a whole new fitness product line dude it's the name of our new motorcycle gang you've just witnessed it we're gonna be the lat kings but it's written it has to be written like this we'll do a little emblem of the guy flexing in the lap the latin kings oh man we probably shouldn't ride bikes through areas with latin kings i think we'll be okay you don't understand we're mocking you [Laughter] we're making a joke about you and we're just like do any of you know snow yo is that you trying to escape going 65 miles an hour on my governed three-wheeler it's a good game i like it i i don't know where my cards are but i have far far too many um not my cards aren't as nice as yours but they are much more plentiful i have i must have 4 000 cards somewhere landmark have you ever gone to like tournaments for it or like little friday night magics are just friends i was never like i just saw the haircut my wife gave me it's not good chat [Laughter] oh [ __ ] i had no idea oh no what the [ __ ] did you look like [Laughter] that's like the back of simple jack's head i really saw it from the front it seemed fine [Laughter] i did a better job cutting my own hair he could have easily like had a person come over like a fan like like fancy gear like a straight razor on the back of his neck instead he's like honey yeah get the clippers no no no not the good ones the dog flippers just go at it no no not so gentle like you're angry with me you've got to touch this upper [Laughter] and you know what she had to walk in the room to bring you that coffee she saw that atrocity just imagine her like scratching the back of your neck being like oh it looks good [Laughter] yeah she knows what she did everybody oh man how did you see that and think we're all done here this is nice that's that's tremendously bad for another person i mean i think my custom haircut i gave myself as a joke on stream might it's probably on par with the tail you just did a number two across everything he blended so kyle you've got some motorcycle updates for us i went ahead and ordered my helmet my uh my gloves and some boots because i need those i got the cheapest d.o.t rated helmet i could find um that there's no face guard or anything for uh just to take the class because you know maybe i ride i'm just like i hate this this hurts my back this hurts my shoulders so like i'm in it for like a hundred dollars or something like that and then the first class is 100 the second class the classes like escalate in what you're learning the first one is like learning what a motorcycle is you know like this is where the brakes are and [ __ ] it's like 100 bucks and then it's like 250 350 after that and you escalate and by the time you're done you have a motorcycle license and you've taken an advanced writing course and you've got road time but the bikes i'm looking at and i just got basic bike gloves i actually got gloves that i would wear maybe in the winter do they have a shell on the back are they like classic knuckles uh a little bit yeah fill us in dick we only kind of on the top layer i'm trying to find the message i sent to boogie the night before i said do not pull a gun on frank don't don't kill him i said oh yeah here's what i said don't kill him you'll go to jail but do whatever you want honestly people do that was the last bit of advice he said um oh god where is it he's oh yeah he said that he may be a comedian but i promise you if he shows up he won't be one anymore fact this [ __ ] ends today and i said what what are you going to do kill him lol i like that you've got your finger in all these pies somehow see now you're going to have to be called to testify if this goes any further you've got way too much evidence on that phone like master star over here i'm a very good testifier dick masterson [Laughter] they were all like it's 2020 joe we're drinking we're gonna get [ __ ] up oh i just put together 2020 the the bad year meme kind of thing yeah yeah wait till 2021 it's gonna get wild oh god i hope so we'll see i hope i hope things just go off the [ __ ] rails let's go man what if there's zombies next year and we're like man 2020 wasn't so bad if there's zombies next year like seven years after the whole zombie preparedness trend ended [ __ ] like i don't think i have my werewolf zombie something else stick anymore that you gave me what was that vampire yeah vampires it was a you know it's the vampire steak with the silver bullets inside of it so yeah and one it was reason it's like my shampoos getting stuff done i wonder what that i'm gonna google what is the most in one shampoo i've had five five and one oh my god what are the five things shampoo conditioner body wash deodorant moisturizer moisturizer that's probably some [ __ ] one they threw in there and i can't imagine what a fifth thing could be what else does it do nothing a fight bug repellent suave eight in one now with deet yeah like a camping trip without any of the fun like you need to smell like deep and be sure to also leave comments and tweet us about good ideas for names for the load company and other proprietary blends and stacks that you guys have tried i cannot take your recommendations seriously without uh photos included photos i'll make the verbal descriptions and quite frankly we're gonna need you to prove that it's yours by jerking off on the monthly hangout write your full write your social on your erect penis [Laughter] we need to see the ejaculate leave your [ __ ] yeah so this is this is a good idea this is a good idea i'm like in like thinking mode now like i really like this idea it's fun i know you were like strictly but i'm like no no what if there is some sort of like like joe rogan has these like brain wake me up type things you know energizer hell yeah i'm doing caffeine alfred the infomercial could be a lot of fun because one metric has got to be volume another one's got to be velocity we need a before and after radar gun analysis i love this that's perfect that's great genius i can get inland iggy i can get the guy who was in the porn of me he can [ __ ] be our first customer yeah but we're going to want to pump the numbers a little bit we're going to want him the first shot we want to be his like third load of the day and then the the follow-up shot after he's been on the pills for a week of course does it take for it to yeah like can you just take the pills today and hope that tomorrow's load is good like like cialis for example mm-hmm 30 minutes later you're a new man right what do you have to this isn't like i'd say like a few days okay you get a week of taking it straight oh yeah you're you're noticing stuff you're noticing like you know you're coming and it's like this is hilarious like this is a lot of come that's hilarious but yeah this is this is a good idea on this what's the largest animal you think you could kill in a ufc cage match a man no weapons just you and your board pick your animal coyote i think i could kill a horse i think i could get around its initial rear up and the hooves coming down arm drag it get behind it somehow arm dragging apply a rear naked choke i could turn out the lights on it can you put your arms like a clydesdale yeah you heard it here that's a lot i do like that you picked a large herbivore though i like the way you're thinking i got ten thousand dollars on the horse i'll bet my entire stake in in loadkings.com that the horse beach dress what would a horse do to you though all it can do is rear up and it'll get tired eventually horses have been fighting off lions since since since time in memoriam kyle you act like horses have a winning record against lions they do have a winning record against lions and i thought horses were native to europe and lions out of the ufc they even encountered each other tigers like this this has been happening for a long time kyle if you put a saber-toothed tiger and uh you know peanut butter in a ufc cage the peanut butter being the name of the horse then uh then the buttercup that works in the cage the horse loses it's like any advantage it might have had it's gonna lose yeah it's going to stomp you and kick you to death as soon as that horse realizes it's in a fight you're dead danny borat uh two which comes out uh on the 23rd which is tomorrow on amazon um apparently he tricked rudy giuliani into some sort of interview and there was a female um interviewing him who i'm told looked very young and uh [Music] at some point he was convinced to pleasure himself uh on camera and 73 or 76 year old rudy giuliani had his hands in his pants touching himself was he masturbating this is all i know he had his hands in his pants touching himself uh with this female interviewer and that is the point in which i'm told borat bursts in and says stop stop she's 15. she's far too old for you so that's hilarious there's a little more to it um the actress that played the 15 year old was 24. of course so i think that you might forgive giuliani for thinking she was in her mid-20s right like you know he probably wasn't thinking it was a 15 year old girl right and of course not that's that's irrelevant well you know it's relevant to me whether it's a 15 year old or a 24 year old that he's like yeah yeah i knew it wasn't a child i knew that going i know that i know that's a joke well the problem is that he's like touching himself in interviews so his excuse for it i know is um he had just taken off like a lapel mic and if anyone's ever worn them they kind of like button in your back and the wire goes up the front like to hear ish and it's hidden and his shirt came untucked while he took the mic off so he had to tuck his shirt back in now he doesn't have a good explanation for why he was laying on the bed of a hotel room to do this operation right um probably kyle i know me i've worn wireless lapel mics a bunch a bunch of times and i never like all right honey quick i gotta lay down in bed and tuck my shirt back in like that there's a little missing piece people for that yeah i have a tucker but you do have to tuck your shirt back in like that's part of the deal like it it it goes right up toward the front and into here so i can see why he was tucking a shirt back in i don't know why he was laying on the bed to do that so here's what happened i wish i could remember the lady's name but you know me and names he did an interview with 60 minutes very recently call it two days ago and the interview was kind of contentious and he he walked out it was going to be him and then mike pence was going to be interviewed next and i guess the idea was you know be a chance for him to make his case and it would go on tv right before the election to be a positive thing and she kept asking him questions about like rough areas for him you know she's like uh so this uh healthcare for example you know it's been years now you had control of the house the senate and the executive branch and you guys didn't do anything with health care you said you had a plan uh in two weeks it's been six weeks since then you've been saying that you and uh he's like these questions are rough why aren't you asking biden questions like this why aren't you asking me about hunter's emails why aren't you how come you're not as you're not being fair and eventually he left well anyway um i guess to sort of scoop 60 minutes they had filmed it was it lasted for 38 well last the video was 38 minutes but there was like [ __ ] five or six minutes ahead of it of like please don't ask any hard questions kind of like i don't know negotiating she's like are you ready for hard questions he's like no i want fair questions and she's like you know so if i send you hard questions your way you're gonna answer them and he's like i'd much rather you said not do that so so my facebook feed sorry they're all like what are you guys gonna do on november 4th when the pandemic's over do you think there's any truth to that is there any like is it been hyped at all i feel like it's irresponsible to even ask that question but no i don't i'm i'm interested to like have they started coming out with like what the flu numbers for this year like compared to covet or anything i don't know i know the death numbers are way up like the amount of deaths numbers are up and death numbers were down i'm talking about deaths in general like we have something like a quarter million and extra deaths in america this year and the difference is covered yeah well that makes sense i mean then i would say no it's definitely not going to end wait we have a quarter million additional death to whatever the normal compared to what you'd think the schedule should be yeah you know we got 50 million of heart disease because we eat nothing with that and then no so that's weird to me because like hear me out everyone's been so many people have been sheltered that means that fewer people have been on the highways right which is i would think responsible for a lot of the deaths we have it seems like we would have saved a lot of people by keeping people like locked down that's like 50 000 a year in cars or something yeah yeah it seems like we so so it a lot of people don't think there are unaccounted for covet deaths that the numbers of deaths are higher than they say it is so even though we claiming like what hundred and twenty thousand something like that the number is closer to three hundred and that maybe no i looked at your facebook and they're quite sure that they have way blown that out of proportion i heard there's like eight to ten deaths i've heard that too same source the trump train is running wild it is untethered all right i saw woody crying his lib tu lib tears the other night the only way donald trump gets to 270 is if he loses 50 and it's always sunny trying to figure out where pepe sylvia was connecting dots and [ __ ] yarns yeah before we get into anything this episode we have filthy on wonderful guest filthy and it's brought to you by buchu and squarespace but yes yeah high energy start kyle that caffeine definitely oh it's kicking in right about now how many milligrams no you're 200 milligrams each so i i only took the one but i have taken four before and that's crazy town that's that's awful man um yeah so um everyone said trump was gonna get trounced we all here to be fair thought trump was going to get trounced look at this point we have to all agree regardless of our political standings or who we think we should win don't even say it was funny is that where you're headed well first of all yes it is funny but that's not all right it wasn't funny first of all it's funny it's not a funny one wasn't funny what are we talking about that's not the topic of discussion the top discussion is that polls again seem to have been wrong like way off in the same direction in the same exact direction and the i'm left with only one logical explanation and that is there are a lot of people who like donald trump clearly but they are embarrassed ashamed or afraid to admit to a pollster that yes i do like donald trump and i'm going to vote for him if that were not the case we would not be where we are right now we're they're still counting both the entire premise is pretty wrong in the first place uh assuming that pennsylvania and georgia do go biden which is a bit of a leap i hear you but they are predicted to go that way then they got 49 of the 51 states right in their in their final prediction and the reason that they chose biden was that he could suffer a hillary clinton like i don't know mistake in the polls and still win which he has you are the only one on the planet who has this opinion even like the people on cnn are you smart though the people on cnn are like we were wrong and it's disturbing how close this is it's van jones is like it's hurtful is always hurt he and don levin is [ __ ] crying can you imagine being constantly upset by poles no it is a little disturbing don't they know i look at these you know a positive development with corona going up again is it's going to be work from home for a lot of folks for a long time still yeah and for me very selfishly i'm enjoying it did you ever have to go back did they ever like drop their guard or i've been able to do [ __ ] everything with whoever i needed to call over zoom the whole time so okay so they never said funds up come back to the office that's not your basically yeah and now it's like reversing again where it's like all right well we thought like two i'm six weeks ago it was gonna get better nope back on you know everybody's shutting down again dude itself so bad like the case numbers are you watching them much at all i looked at them this morning and like it's up in the six digits now every day of of in fact are the deaths going up i would imagine they are because it's getting to be that time of year when old people start kicking it they are going up the deaths are two to eight weeks delayed so we'll call that five since that's the middle and uh so if you look at the death numbers they kind of report or kind of reflect the way the case numbers were going up five weeks ago which is to say like missing on the most aggressive rise yeah 160 000 new today 1100 deaths i think that's down from recently but who knows it's not the end of the day is this ever gonna i mean isn't it though i think it is the end of the day it's oh i don't know when they enter in their little oh i thought you meant like end of the world type yeah it's it's awful what's happening it's it's it's real awful like like yeah we can do a big scale funny as it would oh business it would have been if trump had won it would have been a real real laugh but it might be best if for biden to win if he's gonna i i'm all for this mandatory mask maybe put like a doctor or a scientist ahead in charge of the uh task force instead of a son-in-law we all played some zombies the other night that was very fun i had a good time yeah and dude if you guys haven't played zombies yet what kyle said on pkn is true there are kiting spots for everybody kiting you probably all know is that term where you kind of maintain your distance and use your range weapon and uh it used to be in zombies that like there was one good spot and that guy would always like perform really well and every other spot kind of sucked um not this time you know i there were kind of two spots that the taylor and i shared next to each other the one by the plane where i think kyle spent his time i'd have been just as happy there uh and i don't know where maybe swamp is good yeah maybe he was in the swamp yeah you can play underground yeah you can play underground in a couple of different places um the map's full of nice little kiting spots there's there's fewer [ __ ] trash piles in your way there's no like corners of something that looks like it's clear but it's gonna snag you and pin you in it's uh it's my favorite zombies game ever it's the easiest to play zombies game ever like i was just goofing around today playing solo and i died at like 32 or something but it was only because i was being dumb and like not paying attention chappelle show is no longer on netflix and dave chappelle is happy about it the comedian on tuesday opened up in a video posted to instagram about the streaming services move which he says came at his request in his video chappelle acknowledges that the contract he signed with viacom cbs allows for his show to be to stream without additional payments to him uh the creator star and executive producer he takes issue uh with the approach they that's viacom cbs didn't pay me because i signed the contract chappelle said but is that right i found out that these people were streaming my work and they never had to ask me or they never had to tell me perfectly legal because i signed the contract but is that right i don't think so either that's why i like working with netflix so my question is how much did he get paid to sign the contract right if i signed away the rights to all my modern warfare 2 videos and then i was like these [ __ ] streamed it and i'm not getting more money what do you give you 10 million up front yeah but you're not paying me ongoing like that what was the rest of the contract what is it that's what i want to know so he signed it and he doesn't like it well he signed it 15 years ago oh oh i didn't know that maybe he didn't make very much food i don't know that's when he made the chapel so i don't think he got paid very much for like the first couple seasons but like there was some huge there were only a couple seasons of that show yeah there's only like two i don't know are these investment cars do you fix them what my business right here on top of making videos my exit from the gig economy is called west side collector car storage and it is it is for customers to store their collector cars i also keep my cars here but it's i live in on the west side of la and and by the beach and there's just um this type of business doesn't exist in this area so i built this bought this property built this building and i'm gonna show you some cool [ __ ] but first check this out this is my studio this is the smug entire podcast studio nice oh that's awesome do you also still have a watch podcast i had a really clever name no the watch and listen and uh i after two years of it i just i couldn't do the research of watch research anymore i had to either get snobbier or nerdier and i was neither so here's my here's the lounge upstairs cigar lounge right engine block coffee table this sounds like the social aspect of the club is part of the draw you meet people like you yeah you think but people don't really hang out that lounge you have to have a lounge because it's a thing you have to have but it's really for it's and of course members are more than welcome to hang out but the fact of the matter is they don't hang out very often and i use it for hanging out with my friends more often than yeah then with customers sales pitch right sometimes you buy things it's a great it's where you tell them the price in the tour all right all right so we're going to go into hey i i i'm struggling to find it because i got to scroll up so far but he basically said woody i'm not kidding i am 100 serious i will do this anytime anywhere head gear no head gear whatever kind of gloves you want whatever kind of rule set you want with a ref without a ref at your house at my house in a ring anywhere anytime any day your mind bring it so i read it and i was grumpy to start with and i thought it over and i was like you know what yes yes [ __ ] yes i am tired of this [ __ ] manlet this guy is like 135 pounds and he is picking on me at this point he won't let like i would like to let it drop it seemed for a while it was much like an aggressive girl where maybe you're like it just seems inappropriate to make you pay for what you're doing and but at some point dirty is just gonna have to meet his maker right at some point dirty yes [ __ ] yes officially i will let you know next time in hartwell apparently that's where you want to fight i'll let you know when i'm coming around you can show up uh you should be aware that inside the first 15 seconds ago you'll be on your back and i will do i will keep going until i feel like you've learned a lesson it might involve a broken nose a broken orbital bone i don't know but you asked for this and you are still i will drop it if you want but if you show up you will learn a lesson and this was all your idea i just want you to remember this was entirely your idea it's like it's like two different bad ass movie quotes combined into one he just combined he just combined kurt russell from tombstone when he said you called down the thunder well here it is with tom cruise from uh what's the move from uh what's the movie where he's like the the the military police zach or something like that jack reacher yeah yeah where he's like just remember you wanted this now we have to get this organized all right you just you're like it's gonna be the next pay-per-view event i had no like jake and i played no role in the origin of this he just kept coming at me coming at me uh if he's gonna come back and say no woody queensberry boxing rules dirty this is the part where i lied to you okay boxing rules right but come and get it and then see what happens i think i got canceled so whoa i don't think so hear me i've heard about it so i don't know a week or two ago the new york times did an article on a young guy and he had watched this video i made like six years ago called how to get rich in 22 years and they were talking about the saving habits and millennials and the new york times article kicks off with like you wouldn't think your favorite call of duty youtuber is a good place to get financial advice but sure enough and then and i'm like is he talking about me like people said it was me but i was still open to the idea that maybe some other call of duty youtuber also made financial advice videos but then they linked to my video later on it was called how to get rich in 22 years or something like that and um new york times had a little article and you know i was tangentially related to it so then cnbc reaches out to me and uh they're like you know mr woodworth we're doing this like financial education thing and you know we'd like you to make some content with us and i was like yeah i'm interested this sounds kind of neat you know i don't think it's a big financial opportunity or even i don't even know if it's paid but uh it just seemed kind of neat to be working with cnbc and they were going to have their graphics department like you're heroes heroes and cnbc you're thinking of msnbc maybe cnbc is a financial news network oh msnbc is your heroes i understand okay so will rachel maddow be there funny would if you saved like her from bank i don't think cnbc is political at all but anyway uh back on topic so then they were like hey questions about pka you know i was like what is that oh my god it's a comedy podcast and she asked if it was blue comedy which is a term i hadn't heard before and she's like is it r rated i was like yeah i think it's blue she's like is it x-rated i'm like no not x-rated like you know we have to there's youtube's terms of service we can't get like you know shut down or anything but it's r rated i gave an example where like you know a female teacher has sex with this student and we all agree that it's not that bad because she because that's your example you gave to msnbc i didn't want it what an oh man i didn't want to surprise anyone like i was i was honest about this whole thing i wasn't trying to i didn't want i didn't want to be like oh you know sometimes we use a bad word and uh you know and then have her find out later that like milo's on there talking about pedophiles or something like that so someone affiliated with you called helen keller a [ __ ] [ __ ] that would have been a funny example too but uh so anyway they asked for a link i gave him the link to the most recent pka and in the title of it is something about me fighting dirty and uh i don't know where it goes from there i i guess they'll watch it and decide if it's uh too much for them or not so yeah i want to talk about this a little bit um how long have you been thinking about proposing probably the better part of a year okay how long ago did you purchase the ring uh so i did something different with that i used uh uh a family it's gonna be romantic uh-huh and then uh figured then we would go get one afterward and the you know the good thing about that is that you get to play it off as this is like very sentimental but really it saves you a trip okay so so follow-up question how long ago did you acquire the family ring oh well it like it came from like my grandma and so it was never like a i got to pick it up it was just like the last time i saw her before i was doing it was like oh yeah you got that by the way that we talked about using she's like oh here you go is that yeah i guess that's when i grabbed it was around thanksgiving okay so how how long were you carrying it around perhaps in your pocket before you you know popped the question oh not very long at all okay yeah yeah hardly any time it was it was a big annoying box and you look like an [ __ ] walking around with that giant bulge in your pocket and so i was like what am i gonna go to a fancy dinner and she's gonna sit there like you you're either hard or you're about to propose you know that was how did the how did the proposal go down did you like hide it in a desert or did you just oop ready to ruin your life thank you ruined my no what i did is i put it inside a ravioli [Music] and then we waited for it she'll be able to wear it in 30 weeks for 48 hours yeah i put it in a little gnocchi thing and then no uh just pretty traditional pretty normal just regular proposal did you get down on one knee yeah i did too yeah i figured that's i like the plan you know did you ask her father yeah i did i did too i thought i liked that very very and she she's very traditional also she was the one who was like you know i would really appreciate you know if we ever get married this is a long time ago like and she was like i would like you to ask my father first and i was like oh of course it did that was the first day to do that that was and that was three years ago almost scared him off frankly so maybe maybe we should get appetizers first she said that on tinder actually it was it was the first conversation it was the first the first thing yeah ask my father well no in all seriousness uh congratulations thank you very happy for you because i know this will make you happy i'm sure i've never met her but i look forward to meeting her at some point because she must be a wonderful person because you're one of the smartest people i know you're one of my best friends i care about you a tremendous amount i love you and i love you too man thank you yeah and uh i wish you all the best and uh tons of happiness and you know all jokes aside really thank you for you yeah i'm really excited about it also like i'm i'm really looking forward to it don't you ask me to come to that [ __ ] what do they call it a wedding that arranged that like personal life execution that you guys are going to hold in a in a church somewhere like no but seriously though well thank you yeah so much so happy awesome and the impetus of this is a different 50 patron challenged woody to a fight and what he was like there's no [ __ ] way i'll trash you i'll break your orbital bones i'll drop down with hell but like yeah in response to that this totally separate guy from northern nightmare he's got like 9 000 views as well ready set play you haven't been an athlete since george senior was in office unless if you consider swimming a sport you think your breaststroke gonna help when i'm drowning you in the cage homes [Laughter] no audio quality [ __ ] are these lunch lady arms [Laughter] i'd wear glasses too if i was this deformed [ __ ] looking like that cartoon arnold i accept your challenge send the contract send the contract don't talk about sign it until you've sent it there it is well that's just silly maybe no no let's get it i'm sure that was some pretty funny stuff he said something about lunch lady arms [Music] citizens and he's doing some sort of cholo accent like like what about snow what if that's actually snow [Music] [Music]

Channel: PKA Clips

Views: 76,616

Rating: 4.8798385 out of 5

Keywords: pka, pka clips, pka highlights, painkiller already, painkiller already clips, painkiller already podcast, painkiller already highlights, FPSRussia, WoodysGamertag, pka podcast, pka clip, kyle pka, FPSRussia PKA, pka podcast highlights, pka plays, pka highlight, pka moments, #SlushPuppy, PKA 523 w SlushPuppy Kyle's Movie Role, Fetlife, Hot or Not, pka 523

Id: pLLL55nMfcc

Length: 96min 10sec (5770 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 31 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/PKAClips]

Here's a look back at the best moments from PKA in 2020!

[u/AntiVision]

with timestamps aswell? big ups

[u/Kasnav]

Did you rewatch all the 2020 shows and pick your fav bits, must have been tons of effort, good job

[u/Vitelli97]

If this doesn't end with that heart felt talk about Taylor being Kyles best friend i'll be disappointed

[u/lurmomgayl]

Crazy how the guys who get paid $10k+ a month between them to sit and talk for 5 hours a week don't do this themselves/hire someone to do an "official" version.

Big ups tho, must have taken quite a bit of work

[u/terminator436]

Anyone have the timestamp to when they talked about the brave little toaster movie? It was semi recently

[u/ethotech]

I would have wished that Taylor's "don't order ween in the mail's about Kyle's grandma was in there. That stuff was maybe the funniest line of the year. Also where is the part where they rate how scared they are of covid and they all give it a 1?