Best Insults Without Swears?

what is the harshest he rated insults you have received your life is more about regret management than goal achievement isn't it that insult has some severe splash damage because I feel personally attacked you're less a person and more a loose collection of personality flaws he's like God spilled a person was with my son at a playground he was on the tire swing and I was just chilling on a bench and keeping an eye on him while also scrolling through my Instagram feed a random little girl came up to me and tapped on my shoulder which honestly made me flinch because I wasn't expecting it I just looked at her and gave a confused look and she didn't say anything for like 10 seconds then she said sorry I thought you were my grandpa I'm a 28 year old woman she somehow mistook me for an elderly man last year when we moved into our house for some reason the neighbors only spoke to my husband and not me one asked him about who he lives with and he told the man just me and my wife what about the teenage boy we've seen in your yard yeah that was me I'm busty enough that I can't buy bras in brick-and-mortar stores because they don't carry my cup size and somehow our neighbours thought my curvy ass was a boy the worst thing about your guitar playing is that you don't know how bad you are at it I was called a great sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake harsh I'm definitely going to screw this up and call some confused person or gay sprinkle a young girl asked me if I had chickenpox due to my acne a grown man asked me what happened I said what he said that scar on your face it was acne I got asked the same thing once it was just my face though my card was declined buying a coffee and a fourteen-year-old girl next to me offered to pay for it because she could tell I really needed a win whose man that I mean she was nice though got into the office go to sit down and before I can even get in the chair a guy walks into the office and goes did you go to college because it must have taken years of training for anyone to be this useless you clearly got the master's degree I'd never met or seen this man before in my life he apparently thought I was somebody else in the IT office and just decided to lay into me it's impossible to underestimate you Wow I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed not said to me that I died when I heard a kid say you look like you came from a donation pile you sneeze like a skull it wasn't the word so much as it was the sheer look of disdain and the disgust in that nine year olds voice I was pestering my then-girlfriend /na wife and she turned to me and said you need to go home and think about everything you are then change it my jaw dropped and she immediately started apologizing she had meant it to be kind of snotty but realized how harsh it had come out and felt bad I actually thought it was kind of funny but I still tease her about it sometimes I'm putting that in my emergency in salt Arsenal I didn't receive it but the best I've ever heard is everyone that has ever loved you was wrong holy [ __ ] son yeah well joke's on you friend eh and I stopped in to see friend be friend Bea's young maybe 7 years old female cousin is there she starts explaining the toy she's playing with and friend a politely nods and says that sounds like fun she looks up laughs and tells him you'll never have a girlfriend when I was a camp counselor this girl couldn't think of my name and said who's the girl with the frizzy hair and loud voice everyone immediately knew it was me but no one understood why I was insulted by that about 1,000 people were on campus all female I was the girl with frizzy hair and a loud voice without question from the British comedy a / red dwarf I think we've all got something to bring to this discussion and from now on I think the thing you should bring his silence read what was fantastic for this over the many years I have known all of you I have come to regard you as people I met a man of such awesome stupidity he even objects to his own defense counsel that quote from full-metal-jacket always gets me good your parents have any kids that lived yeah I bet they regret that how tall are you private sir 5 foot 9 sir 5 foot 9 I didn't know they stacked [ __ ] that high daddy you are boring and you have stinky feet I swear I want that on my tombstone Galland grow a beard dad was my four year old Tantrums insult just before she slammed her bedroom door in my face I can't wait until she's a teenager but on the plus side I now have wonderful flowing chin locks because of her I was a camp counselor for small children at a daycare one day Ben who was three called me a bad guy I asked why he thought I was a bad guy because he was spider-man and knew I was the bad guy but you're not dressed as spider-man checkmate three-year-old if you don't have a costume then you can't be spider-man and I can't be the bad guy the next day Ben shows up in full spider-man costume runs up and promptly informs be I'm a bad guy well played Ben according to his parents that's all he could talk about all night after being picked up and he wouldn't put on any other clothes that morning had a kid tell a classmate that bay smelled like hot dog water I've said those exact words but I sincerely meant it as a compliment you're not pretty enough to get away with being that stupid your grades say marry rich but your face says study harder stupid people can believe in anything so you can believe in yourself that one is really motivational you you big throw up my six-year-old sister was so furious she stuttered and fumbled over her words until she spit out this gym why was she mad her Pig threw up what gang signs pepper ain't no [ __ ] don't be coming down this street with those colors I wish he were a speed bump for my tricycle from my sister when we were four or five boy your kid sister spat fire Bob Ross would call you a mistake you're like a lighthouse in the middle of a desert bright but not a lot of use hey cheer up with the climate change you will soon receive your seat a friend once said I was not being the person mr. Rogers knew I could be one the one hand holy [ __ ] [ __ ] that's brutal on the other hand none of us are the people mr. Rogers thought we could be and that is okay we love just the way we are please believe this of yourself you are irreplaceable and so are all the other people you've ever known Jesus mr. Rogers loves you me what are you doing on Friday go I'm washing my hair oblivious me so what about Saturday go I'll think of something this one hurts may you be living proof that man can endure anything oh no my leadership professor circa day four of the first class I ever had with her you're not actually listening to people you're just waiting for your turn to speak honestly it was probably some solid advice oh it absolutely was I proceeded to spend the next four years actively working on listening to people becoming more mindful of how much I talked in general and becoming at least semi comfortable with silence and pauses in a conversation I still have a lot of trouble with it at times but I've done a lot of growing up since then there you go again not me but my four-year-old calls his ten-year-old brother yak dung fatty wotty shoo face and it drives the ten-year-old crazy four-year-old came up with that insult on his own ending with face is the punctuation of the child constructed insults rule my niece a three called my husband a pretty boy pickle face in my experience the most backhanded insult of them all you damned sock wet socks are some of the worst things I've ever experienced this is a good insult I accidentally cut someone off the other day and instead of flipping me off the guy gave me a big thumbs down out the window and that hit harder oh my gosh this exact thing happened to my niece just last week but she cut off the pedestrian she was so upset she cried she's 20 she said if he had given her the bird she would not even have cared I guess thumbs down as a new thing in Drive talk it's her I'm not mad I'm disappointed hand-signed a toddler once told my sister I like your mustache while gently poking her upper lip I work in in an office with kind of separate pods but it's not uncommon for someone from another pod to talk to someone in mine best one I've heard so far called out in a dead silent office Dylan yeah what I'm going to invite your mom out for dinner and then not turn on apologize to that tree over there for wasting the oxygen that have worked so hard to make at a four year old patient tell me the other day I'm a big ugly monster shouldn't have been hiding under his bed there I was playing a drinking game that involves rules being made on the fly she has to the governor we had a no swearing rule and then an insult rule which made it a gyrates insult rule so my friend is up and I'm the insult II and without hesitation she says your teeth aren't as white as they could be I was flabbergasted the complete lack of hesitation combined with the specificity of the insult was devastating I knew she meant it and it had been stuck in her craw for a while I started whitening my teeth the next day why are you such a wet sandwich someone called me a crunchy lizard once in reference to my hair gel I asked why that was a bad thing she said a crunchy lizard is not a happy lizard my seven-year-old sister had kissed a boy in school and I was joking about it why go up you kissed him on the lips she then proceeded to write me a note next to her drawing of me I kissed a boy but you are 26 and still don't have a boyfriend that's a faiiure joke it really hurt someone was trying to insult me I responded with I don't respect you enough to be insulted by you we take the picture so I can be in it it'll look a lot better my younger sister when I was taking a selfie not me but when my sister was younger her friend told her you're my best friend too which my sister responded thank you see this right here this is why you're destined to be a bitter old man cold and alone as you slowly waste away no one will notice when you die and the only thing you will leave behind is a history of petty pointless hate the world will be a little bit better when you're gone I heard a guy in all seriousness insult another guy by calling him a muppet I [ __ ] loved it you have the ass of a 10/10 old boy I was a 16 year old girl now 33 burns like it was yesterday so if my math is correct you now have the ass of a 27 year old man my son who was four or five at the time would ask me a basic question about his world why is the grass green slash sky blue etc I would give him an answer to the best of my ability while tailoring it to his age he would think about it for a second then nnn-no mom why is the grass green [Music]

Channel: Cowbelly Studios

Views: 332,712

Rating: 4.956295 out of 5

Keywords: comment awards memes dank meme compilation cowbelly reddit, r/, askreddit, top posts, reddit top posts, best of reddit, top posts of all time, askreddit funny, top posts of r/, brainy memes, funny reddit, fails, funniest reddit posts, funniest posts, brainydude, brainy, dankify, TZ REDDIT

Id: 3mh9CLIQh2Y

Length: 11min 29sec (689 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 31 2019