Best Friend Starts Dating My EX-GF So I Cut Contact & Move Out But Now He's Mad I Came Back To Visit

a couple of years ago i had a crush on this girl since high school never did anything which i know is my own fault but decided to shoot my shot with her i got rejected and she ended up dating my best friend who knew i had a crush on her whenever they would hang out with our friend group they would do lots of pda and stuff like that which made me uncomfortable and i hate to admit it but i was jealous as well and at the time hated that they were together honestly i was low-key a nice guy i had nothing really going for me at the time either i had a job but it was a dead-end job with no real career goals i wasn't sure what i wanted to do with my life and i knew i had to make a change one day i just couldn't stomach it anymore i blocked them on everything not just them but our mutual friends as well deleted their numbers and just completely went off the grid at least to them anyway i applied to university and got into a paramedics course which i'm currently in my second year of i moved to the city where university was and really my hometown is only a 75-minute train ride to the city so not too far at all and i really started to have a life of my own i got into weight training judo and yoga and it changed my life eventually i met my now girlfriend in my paramedic course she's amazing i got pretty lucky anyway with global situations student housing got cancelled and my parents offered to let me move back in with them until it starts back up again and i accept it they said my girlfriend can come too since they like her me and my girlfriend were doing shopping for my parents we were getting a pack of muffins for my dad and i saw them in the same aisle i hoped they wouldn't see me but they did and they came up to me to start a conversation the three of us said hi awkwardly and just made a bit of small talk introduced them to my girlfriend etc and loki hoped this would be over quickly i said i was doing some shopping for my parents and my former friend said ah so you didn't go missing on them either i kind of just did an awkward laugh and said i was sorry for that but i just needed my own space to think he said that apology wasn't good enough and they were really freaking out wondering what happened to me or if they offended me or something they never asked my parents since when i was home i would tell my parents to cover for me if they came around he said i was rude for what i did and that i was an idiot and that he hated me my girlfriend asked what that was about and i told her the story here she said it was a bit of an idiot move but understands my reasoning but honestly removing them all was the best thing i did for my life and i don't think i did anything wrong you are all idiots here they should not have called you out like they did but dude you disappeared on them without an explanation for years they might not even have known if you were dead or alive that's crappy it would have been more mature to at least send one text before ceasing contact not saying it needed an explanation but stating that you would not talk with them anymore about them flaunting their relationship in front of your face i find it hard not to take it with a grain of salt here but o.p you came a long way from a self-defined nice guy to someone who worked on himself and now is here willing to think of the other side's feelings that's awesome continue this path and own your mistakes that's all we can do to become better humans all of us i 46 male have a daughter 19 who has anxiety she was fine both socially and mentally before but around seven years ago something happened to her i'm guessing it's her starting high school that made her start having it because she'd skip class constantly and fake being sick all the time this made her social life crumble and me and her argue all the time she currently still lives with us doesn't have any friends or a job she spends most the time on the computer she gets panic attacks from needing to do things like make a phone call or answer the door most of this anxiety seems to come from her not wanting to grow up and being scared of the world i was first sympathetic but it's gotten to the point where she's a freeloader who doesn't try to do anything i don't hate her but i wish she'd move out so me and my wife could have some time where we don't focus all of our time and attention on her anymore but on each other yesterday she went to a job interview and she was understandably nervous i was too when i got my first job and i tried to make her know she can do it i was really happy she decided to try and become independent and hoped this would lead to a chain of events making us free from her it went great until she called crying and said she apparently was too scared to continue the interview and ran away when she said to the interviewer she just needed to go to the bathroom this was the last straw for me i yelled at her saying it's time to grow up and she can't let her fears control her and she has to get a job or i'm kicking her out of the house i was tired of letting her rule the household just because her mind is a little messed up she got really upset when she came home and wouldn't talk to me my wife who coddles her quite a lot got really mad at me saying to me that she needs time am i wrong you are wrong and probably the cause of or at least exacerbate her anxiety i had terrible anxiety when i was younger i had panic attacks at least three times a week eventually that grew into a full depression and anxiety disorder at the age of 20. i still have my mental health issues now my parents were good people but they did nothing to really help me took me to the doctor and put me on beta blockers which did nothing for me pressured me into getting a job that made my anxiety worse because they thought i just needed to accept the real world and i'd be okay they didn't want anything to do with the emotional support especially not if it meant taking some kind of responsibility for the way i turned out because they felt it meant they failed as parents in the end what helped me was having a loving partner who nurtured me sheltered me when i needed it and encouraged me to make positive steps in ways i responded to i'm a functional adult now i still have a lot of anxiety around my family that will never really be resolved despite my loving them but i'm doing okay i would suggest reading some books on parenting someone with anxiety seek therapy for your daughter and familial therapy for all of you so you can learn some techniques to help your daughter flourish you're doing her no favors by laying extra pressure and guilt onto her for something she can't control so my roommate jake rented this apartment with two other people one of them backed out immediately before signing anything and the other jeff didn't want to sign anything as he needed to be able to move out on a quick notice jake agreed with jeff the condition was that he'd send him his share every month and jeff would arrange two more roomies asap well that's where me and pete come in we know jeff from high school we needed a place to stay for college and jeff asked us to live here on the same conditions as he did anyways everything was split four ways usual stuff prior to the whole stuff that's going on right now jake suddenly had his girlfriend over all the time but no one brought it up as it isn't uncommon to have your girlfriend over for a few days we all do it but when she was here a full week made a load of messes made our utility bill way higher and literally never left the apartment we talked to jake who informed us that she was staying for a few weeks because she lost her place and her job we were all pretty annoyed pointed out he should discuss stuff like that beforehand and how she could at the bare minimum pick up after herself he simply replied it was his name on the list so he could do whatever however he talked to her about cleaning up after herself obviously we were annoyed but then all broke loose in the world and we were stuck with her it just kept getting worse more messes water bill through the roof kitchen trashed other people's food disappearing etc despite multiple attempts to speak to them demanding she pay her share of the rent and utilities etc it always ended with it's my name on the lease long story short we found a new place for the three of us sent our last month's rent with a notice we were moving out since he's entitled to a 30-day notice least or not and packed our stuff which includes 90 percent of furniture kitchen utensils etc and moved out into our new place cue endless messages from jake stating he can't afford it alone how he'll go broke and he doesn't know anyone who wants to move in and begging us to come back even crying on the phone so we all replied with it's your name on the lease bro right now we want to know whether we're the idiots since we all feel like we kinda are regardless of his behavior not the idiot you tried talking to him you tried making concessions if he's your friend you can help him find new roommates or a new place in parallel but he has to own the fact he pushed y'all out and i wouldn't move back if i were you his girlfriend sounds like an entitled witch given she should be considerate of the position she put him in and he should have had foresight before talking down to you new relationship everything seemed to be going well he told me he loved me then things started to get weird i knew something was off when i tried to talk about different vibes i was getting from him he rolled his eyes and accused me of being insecure but i'm not i actively appreciate beauty and others including other females non-binary trans i think everyone has beauty on the inside as well as the outside if you just take the time to see it he wouldn't hear it and insisted that i was insecure i told him that i would work on not seeing signs that aren't there i actively gave him personal space to see if things would get better then one night his phone starts pinging repeatedly for 30 minutes straight at about three to four am it's waking me up and he's sound asleep so i go to turn it down and i see it's snapchat that's been pinging i put the phone back down i'm concerned but again i'm not the jealous type i'm fully convinced that if he's talking to others or more no amount of yelling or crying is going to make it better the relationship has just run its course and that's that next day i'm on the computer finish my work and go to facebook i've got way more messages than i should took me a good 45 to 60 seconds to wonder why i have multiple messages from unknown users and why they were sending suggestive things then it hit me that i wasn't on my facebook the login and password had been saved to automatically open to his profile i didn't even know his login information i'd already read five to six messages and i went down the rabbit hole guy was not only planning to cheat on me with multiple women but this group included a webcam girl his best friend's cousin and co-workers i was the other woman to at least one long-term relationship he already had another was a differently abled woman on a fixed income from a euro country that he was scamming money out of and spending it on me i had enough info to break up with him and walk away but i reached out to them and informed them of his dishonesty reimbursed the woman's money that had been spent on me and unraveled his schemes when confronted his response was you invaded my privacy no remorse no guilt just indignation i blocked him on every platform i used and left never to speak with him again but the sheer voracity of his indignation made me question my actions am i the idiot here not to the idiot you didn't invade his privacy so much as he didn't know how to keep things secure love your work especially refunding the duped lady i bet she loved getting money back and hopefully will be more careful in the future he's just upset that you found out his perfect little manipulation lifestyle but you deserve a medal i'm at 39 weeks and do any day now i'm a single mom and throughout my pregnancy and getting away from my eggs i've had two constant people in my corner cindy 22 female and paula 26 female for starters paula has been wanting and trying for a child for two years now she's had a few false hopes and i know it must have been devastating for her but paula also leads a lifestyle that really isn't for getting pregnant she's a heavy smoker and drinks often i've gently suggested an ob gyn so she and her boyfriend cover their bases when she would open up as far as i know i don't think she's ever gone and has only stuck to keep trying i know when i found out i was pregnant she was both conflicted and happy for me paula was lovely helped me out a lot and just so i'm transparent here where i live termination is illegal i've never wanted a baby the pregnancy was forced on me by my ex i opened up about adoption or getting a termination anyway i changed my mind later on after a few talks with my family and said i'd be keeping my baby i love him now very much despite the rough start and i wouldn't trade my child for anything lately i would get daily messages from her saying things like it's august he's coming soon how's our baby it's august is my baby boy doing okay xx stays to go how are we doing still no sign love you and our baby so much no labor yet you need to walk more i bet he can't wait to come out you have to help him along what are you doing i'm uncomfortable with paula referring to my child as ours or even hers there have been plans of video calling while i'm in labor to make sure to showa's baby when he's out she messaged the other day along the lines of where are you planning to give birth you should try a clinic they're cheaper and there's a good one near here i can come with you baby doesn't have a daddy anyway i'll just take the father's spot i found it horrible since the spot in the room was for my mother who has ultimately been my rock i also found out that when i told them the gender she made a facebook post about it a cute baby stuff with coming soon it's a boy people had been congratulating her she'd just love reacted and reply with emojis she's been asking when they can all visit when the baby's here and with everything that's happened i'm not sure i even want anyone around anymore i'm trying not to be paranoid or take things dramatically but i feel so robbed despite not wanting to suffer the friendship will i be wrong if i go through with this i don't think the friend is the idiot here yet either op hasn't actually had a conversation with her to say when you say x y and z it makes me uncomfortable please take a step back and stop saying these things the friend could really think she's being supportive and just has her wires crossed i had family and friends refer to my babies as ours and such i posted we're having a girl or boy when my cousins and sisters were pregnant with theirs it's just how we are we're close we supported each other i also know that they were okay with it and they're direct people who would have said if it bothered them just like i love and value them enough that i would have said so if op goes total silence or blocking without a conversation that makes op the idiot in my honest opinion she isn't giving someone she calls a friend a chance to correct the behavior if op does have a direct conversation with the friend and the friend doesn't stop then the friend is the idiot and should be blocked back story is that my 28 male girlfriend 25 friend 24 female has always hated our relationship i've been with my girlfriend for three years at the beginning her friends made it clear she did not like my guts she would make passive aggressive comments about me and even while we were dating her friend would introduce her to other guys when we finally got together her friend would blatantly make up things like opie thinks you're getting bigger or deliberately misconstrue things i said to make them negative i've tried to make amends with her and include her in group activities but i've stopped trying a long time ago after she kept backstabbing me so i do not like her friend and i avoid her whenever i can and while my girlfriend understands her friend apparently was there for her in the past when her parents got divorced and whatnot so she doesn't want to ditch her as a friend for your info as a disclaimer her friend is the type of girl that dyes her hair blue and has a twitter account that lists her gender and also where she gets into arguments frequently that type of girl that most guys want to stay away from anyways on to the topic she got pregnant roughly nine months ago and also ended up getting kicked out of her apartment a month ago she was homeless and since my girlfriend and i lived together now my girlfriend begged me to put aside my differences with her and let her stay with us for a bit i relented because it meant a lot to my girlfriend but i made one condition i do not interact with her at all to which she agreed for the most part i've kept out of her way but occasionally i've heard a few snide comments about me from her friend it's whatever my girlfriend is out of the house from morning until 6 pm so she wasn't there when this happened on monday her friend started screaming out for me that she thinks she's having the baby i told her then call an ambulance but her friend didn't want to pay for the ambulance cost i told her that there's nothing i could do and i am not driving 15 minutes to the hospital she was crying and begging me but i simply refused again she had a phone she could have called an ambulance she ended up texting my girlfriend about what was happening and my girlfriend blew up my phone asking me to take her i told her that we agreed that her friend and i stay out of each other's ways long story short my girlfriend ended up coming back from work to take her to the hospital her friend is still at the hospital with her new son my girlfriend got into an argument with me i told her that i made it clear from the very start that she agreed to my condition now people understand there was a lot of bad blood between me and her friend over the years and i barely scratched the surface in my backstory i felt like i sacrificed a lot by letting her stay with us and i feel like that doesn't make me wrong but my girlfriend says i should have made an exception so maybe that makes me the idiot you are the idiot dude come on whatever your grievance is with her the baby did nothing to deserve you letting your grudge potentially affect its well-being besides if you really have that much of a problem with her presence it's past time for you to put your foot down with your girlfriend and insist she make other arrangements you don't get to agree to help her out and then not actually help

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Views: 61,333

Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit relationship, reddit relationship advice, reddit dating ex, reddit best friend, reddit cut contact, reddit moved out, reddit no contact

Id: ezG7Y9_Q3gk

Length: 18min 57sec (1137 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 13 2021