BEING ORGANISED BY NIKE ADEYEMI

Oh [Music] [Applause] hello friends Wow it's such a joy to be with you again on a brand-new episode of real woman with Nikki and dear me I have with me in the studio near my Banga my co-host she's a speaker coach and a makeup artist and we are gonna have a great time today God is gonna touch you he's gonna bless you so get ready get ready now viewers right in back a lot and I'm so grateful for that now I'd like to read out this person Toby Leigh Mazzello from South Africa said I watched your teaching on Esther and I'm amazed about how God used it to unpack that scripture well at that time I was alone my husband was away at work so when he got back I started sharing with him and he was inspired to God used you to bless me to stand firm in his promises God has set you apart from other teachers I love your charisma you are unique and beautiful thank you so much god bless you abundantly well I am so touched and humbled to read this and I'm grateful you know and I hope that you know we continue to be a blessing to you and many more viewers out there so now today we are going to be talking about we're gonna take some questions but we're gonna be talking about things that have to do with being organized you know as a woman of course men also benefit from this a whole lot being deliberate being forecast you know put how to put everything together and you know make progress and succeed and have that confidence so yo ma let's take the first question alright so the first question we're going to take today says I need your advice on how to handle my day-to-day life as a woman wife and the mother as I don't seem to be doing a good job at it so this person it's feeling a little bit overwhelmed with the fact that you know I'm a mother I'm a wife and probably a career woman and yet I don't seem to be holding it all together and need some some advice or you know way out of the situation well I'm sure you will admit that you were back there before at some point you know in time we've all been there many times women have a lot on their plate really especially when your wife your mother you have kids you have young kids you know and you have a job outside the home it could be a lot yeah and maybe you still have parents who are going very old you know all these responsibilities but I know that it is possible to be able to put everything together if for example you would plan so I would say to this person and whoever might be in this situation right now or from time to time you know planning being deliberate about what you want to do tomorrow what you want to do next week what you want to do next month you don't just stop ball into the day don't just stumble into your day and say okay now I've woken up today so what do I want to do first it's pray get the kids or don't because when you act that way life is just going to keep showing up you know and you just be reacting you be reacting they always say the best time to plant the next day is the day before or the night before even down to things that seem mundane as picking out your clothes long time ago very long time ago I didn't used to think it was important to pick my clothes out for the next day I was thinking when tomorrow comes I decide what I want to wear I mean according to my mood and that is the beginning of lateness because unique okay I can wear this so they don't seem tight you don't know you've put on weight and they're like and there's no backup plan but when you plan what you wear to work over that occasion the day before or two days before you have an opportunity to see the one that doesn't fit which you thought was your best pick the one maybe the zipper gets spoiled while you're training you know you match the shoes that's been organized I made me look very very cool vain or whatever because then for me I used to think I'll be thinking I yes it's so important you have to be deliberate do you have any other ideas yeah just to borrow from what you had already said having a routine would help you as well because sometimes yeah even we that seemingly look like we're organized that days that you don't feel like or everything seems not to be working the way you had planned out but when it becomes consistent for you to begin to put a routine in your life where these are the things okay in the morning I'm expected to be a mom because definitely school the kids are gonna go to school and then when that phase is out what's next okay now I'm a woman or I'm a career woman so I need to get ready for work this and that okay when they come back okay I'm but a wife and a mother and then so if you plan yourself in that regard it helps you to focus on what is important now sometimes what some women are carried away with is they become this super women so to speak and then you want to do everything at the same time you don't want to forget that you are here and being so no one has that super ability even though they believe that women have this multi-tasking and ability is everything but more importantly you're still human yes so you need to be able to cut yourself some slack because there are times where you're gonna you're not gonna feel all that but when you plan it helps you know it helps to cushion the effect when you're not up to the point or everything that everything I want Oh excellent another point on a tip that comes to my mind is delegation especially way said that you're not superwoman someone may look at some other women and anguish always looking well put together maybe she doesn't have children and then the fella that you have three year like how do you do it and your news on point and your don't you again delegation learn to delegate wisely get help because one you're not God you're still flesh and blood you still live on this earthly plane okay so you have the ability to get tired physically exhausted you know so it's important to delegate and in delegating then you must look out deliberately for the proper hands well even if you can employ help in nanny or whatever but you must be very sensitive as to who does what for you part-time yeah hey they true these are the most crucial things in life we can delegate you can delegate on to it on your behalf but they know it's not even possible you staff but other things can someone help you do pick up some shopping groceries you know and sometimes it might be a friend it could be a neighbor you live in the same neighborhood or s there yes and she says because um do you need anything yes I do please just quickly get me you know some vegetables etc and so little things like that that could save a lot save you getting into the car dressing up and then you have the child to leave where you put the child you through the cut technique and ask your friend ask your family members to help you because you are not and I am not superwoman it is interesting that you say that because sometimes people don't know how to ask for help and you have some madness so you always feel like you have all of it at that time but there might be somebody who might even your husband can come in handy at the time if he's available and he holds that baby and then you can't catch a nap so sometimes people even run themselves out they don't take our time to rest they don't take our time to recuperate and it's a very important aspect because if you don't have the energy and you're burning out it's only a matter of time yeah and so more disorganization leads to more dissonance and I think that lowers our self-esteem like this lady asked in a question is like I'm it's like she's lost a handle on herself on her life everything is overwhelming and I'd like to say okay you know what stats from somewhere first if it's your home you want to organize first stats from there it's from the mind first true for example in the home some of the things I just learn to do unconsciously and we're going to tell me this is a gift this is not just ordinary is to have things in place and everything should have their place yes it chose laundry should have its place not in the same wardrobe in the same drawer you see clean clothes you see on clean clothes dirty clothes and then when it's time to do the laundry even if you have someone to help you with your children's laundry most the person now starts sniffing the clean ones are not necessarily the folded ones because even when the child is trying to look for something to wear the food that clean clothes become still clean but unfolded mm-hmm because he has fished this one out no no way in this it doesn't fold it back so that doesn't mean it's dead you know so things like that teaching children to be organized to you if you have to have a meeting with your children or just tell them right from each to a trillion you know what you're gonna help mommy you're gonna help auntie you know what when you finish with your toys you're gonna pack them up and you to then have a place yeah again when we go shopping we shouldn't just buy how do I put it just cause a jewelry think about the containers as well oh I'm in containers fun I am some shops at out for that and some you find control kind of containers in your general so think about small containers the ones with covers big ones where things can be easily flung in fact you can have a conversation in the corner of your living room on your bedroom when the children's bedroom or just halfway through the hallway going upstairs you can have one big continuous a look this is for general things you are not creative you can show your family both young and old your spouse or if you have anybody else living with you but the adult and your that look this one is general when you find anything there's no place it's not that is not meant for the dusting you can put it here so it's a kind of weight in place okay you don't know where it belongs oh you're too busy to quickly take it folded and put away belongs Alice it can be here so maybe at the weekend when you have downtime lost-and-found you go and pick it the day you have downtown you're like okay now let's take things let's empty this out up put them how's that for is that at least you have things lined up is ready make sure that if I see anything on the floor it's gonna be in the dustbin right now so we have to be creative we have to be deliberate you don't have to be overwhelmed because you have a home to take care of kids to take care of no you must be in charge you must be on top and if you have to put pen to paper so bring out your phone your gadgets as it should do list write it down before you go to bed write it down even the morning before the weekend or the next year's it look this this this that's really really bland is it this plan so like you said it when you don't feel like doing you go back to your plan are you deliberately fall back on what you should be doing you know and I tell you you'll be happier you'll be more confident you know and you look more like okay any other yeah we have one more it says is it okay for my husband to take care of my children for a year as my work requires that I leave home for one year training so it's a there's a tough one because a lot of women editor well it depends on how how able the husband is to take a consumer and they don't even even within the house you don't even want him to handle the baby for an hour or handle the kids for that because you're not sure they would do a good job this question is so wide so and that's why we're taking it on because it's just an opportunity to talk about the times we're in yeah the times we are in it's a global world yes and people now work from other countries people have virtual jobs where they could be in one country but they actually work in another and that's good because yes the in front of their computers their gadgets but some have to physically travel every week every now and then but this question this woman is saying she's gonna need job opportunity that would M take her in take away here one year now we don't know whether it's a straight one year without any break I mean to come to see the family go back is there any gonna be any break how many breaks is it you mean me just a two-week holiday in that within that one year or no holiday at all or would you be able to come to see them about every three months all expenses paid in the whole thing or your husband and kids be able to come these are questions that we do not know but obviously the concern for this person if not she would not have written in we cannot totally answer that question for you we will try but we cannot totally give you the blanket answer because we don't know the ages of your children and whether nine points one year toddlers at at - age - between two and five don't know what the teenager we don't know again how hands-on or not your husband is like she said earlier on or how how whether you as a woman over time even being around have learned to allow your spouse your partner do things like you said Oh have you hugged work have you been that supermom and now you afraid that he wouldn't even know where to start from because you didn't allow him or - yeah you might feel he never asked sometimes if your man spouse you know does not ask you ask also be humble and ask you know sweetheart or whatever sweet lovely name you want to say could you please help me with this and then you find out that he's able to rise to do that so right now this one has to think she has to have a discussion with her husband with their spouse they have to sit down and talk and he needs to see whether it's even okay by him he says it's okay go I mean we'll be fine come see you after three months you come after another it will be then you're good to go but then you have to not deal with your own fears of him dropping the balls or not being as good as you when it could but you love your job this is an opportunity you know someone else might feel nikka you should tell aunt a woman isn't the woman supposed to submit and sitter how can you you're sounding like it's okay to go this is a no no no again if I was to counsel them one-on-one there's any questions our asks about the strength of their relationship and all of that you know what I'd say no no because if their relationship is not strong if they've an issues maybe one person has an issue if it led before whatever it may be no no Miriam because the separation exultation in other areas and the other person now gets being blamed why did you leave your husband you see he now fell for somebody else yet say all those things those are questions that you can throw back at this couple Oh at this woman if you had opportunity of sitting with them one-on-one but we don't have a lot of that so but the people I believe that in this modern times that we even we have men we have men who have to travel in their families we have women who also have to travel for the love of Korea for also for their because they're in there they're doing what they love they doing what they love to do they are passionate about their calling and sometimes it takes them away from home we can't see those women are less passionate about their family unless of paracho have less virtue we cannot say some of the student may be wired to handle to have such parents because God already knew that they would be able to act that such a woman study your child or your children at this time how many are they are they two are they five kids I did three you know is it just one can you possibly take them with you or think one of them put them in school in that country of that city for that one year you know so these are things but these are real-life issues love across the ocean yeah I think an important part they need to communicate they need to be able to talk about it they might have to see someone who could guide them to know what to do because if is a young family you don't want to expose your family unnecessarily and if it's an older family you want to be sure that both parties are united in the decisions that they have chosen to make consenting it is this gonna bring progress to our family it's not a sentimental situation and that means everyone is gonna rise up to the challenge if it's the husband and it's gonna rise up to the challenge of being both the father and the mother for the period that the mother is not going to be around and if it's the case of trust in the woman's aspect where she's not she's not conned or she has not learned to delegate you know because she's the one that's always hands on it might be a good time for daddy to also learn a thing or two yeah good enough it's the day of social media so there's video calls there okay it's not this way do it this way and all of that it's an opportunity for him to learn it's an opportunity for them to grow as a family so not all the time these situations like this end up to be a bad thing but the two of you would have communicated you would have decided that this is a way to go and we are all going to rise up to the responsibilities that are needed to go through this face seamlessly and effortlessly so that you know how many years down the line use it's a story I remember when mom wasn't around that he was there for us he did everything he changed diapers and did all sorts of things just because mommy wasn't able to be available she had to go and walk out of the corner I mean it's that times that it will actually turn out for good yeah thank you so yeah so it's about the attitude is about the communication it's about everybody being on the same page and this is a stuff to deal with and way to know watch how we manage it and you know you said something that I was already thinking about so you took the words right out of my mouth and it's about technology social media and technology that now gratefully you can see each other you may not be able to hold hands but you know via Skype via you know FaceTime whatsapp you know video calls you can see your kids you can see your spouse you can actually talk to them see what they're doing and be a part of it you know maybe they're trying to cook something okay put this in put it you know so you can actually make the best of it and it could really be a great time not a time that you need great when it turned out bring progress to your family well you know what we'll be back right after this break don't go away [Music] [Music] welcome back we have been talking about you know being organized being deliberate planning out their head you know just doing all the things that we need to do what knitting all our activities all our multitasked without being overwhelmed so we have been talking about tips delegation you know having me time allowing other people to help you planning ahead even down to your outfits for the next day and stuff like that and I pray and believe that you know God's grace will really be available for you to run with these ideas you know and your life would it'll be much much better you'll feel much better about yourself we also talked about a situation you know of a woman who needs to travel for her job and be away for a whole year and this could be anyone so we were looking at basically the wisdom required in a situation like that to be away from family for a whole year as a woman away from children so we were trying to look into the wisdom necessary the communication and just trying to offer help so if you had a situation maybe you're faced with a difficult decision right now it may not be anything like the one we treated but it might be just as difficult or you're really at a crossroad whether you will learn as a single have certain decisions to make whether it's even the issue of where to live maybe at this point in time you have an opening to go live in another city or work in another city or live in another country entirely and you're at Crossroads maybe you love your country so much where you look located but this other one is a tempting offer you whatever it is or whether you're married whether it's a family decision you know I pray that God's wisdom will be available for you because the Bible says that if anyone lacks wisdom that we should ask from God and He will give us many times that's the last place we go we forget to pray and we talk to people we worry we mourn and we forget to say you know what we can just ask God for wisdom and there's also a scripture the Word of God I think it's officiants 515 or so he says see that you work as wise not as fools that you walk circumspectly redeeming the time because the days are evil this scripture talks about being wise with our time okay the days are harsh these times that we're living in are evil we've got to be smart we've got to be sharp we got to be intreated we've got to be sensitive we need plenty of wisdom to look at every decision inside and out play scenarios what is the downside of this what are the pros what are the cons seal it up in prayer go ahead in courage without fear standing by decisions because decision this determines destiny my beloved husband likes to say that a lot decision determines destiny whatever decision you take I'm gonna stand by it so I pray for you my viewers you know that there will be clarity for you this week answers with comfort for you wisdom like never before if you're at a crossroad I believe that you will know what to do and once you show of your decision on whatever decision you decide to take that you will not walk in fear you walk in courage and in faith and you will go you know I head into your week you go ahead into the months to come and I I you know I just pray that you will have progress and you'll be glad in the decisions that you have made so god bless you hold your head high keep shining keep being a blessing keep smiling God's got your back bye for now [Music] you are in awesome God from the beginning of time there has never been and there will never be anyone like you Jehovah you are powerful you are merciful father I praise you and I worship you for you alone deserve all the glory I know Jackie my Nina mi Rama [Music]

Channel: Nike Adeyemi

Views: 6,398

Rating: 4.7714286 out of 5

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Id: KgYOS1F4XI0

Length: 28min 30sec (1710 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 05 2017