BATMAN & ROBIN (1997): Awfully Good Movies

i want you to hit me as hard as you you can want to know why 2022 was going to be a better year than the last two years well i've got one word for you that is actually two words batman we're only a month away from the debut of robert pattinson as the dark knight in matt reeves epic intro to the dcu the batman then later in the year michael keaton and ben affleck are popping back up in the bat suit alongside ezra miller as the flash followed by keaton's batman popping up alongside leslie grace as batgirl and the new batman cartoon from jj abrams boy if any year is right to bring the bat back from zack snyder's divisive vision it better be this one especially as it's the 25th anniversary of perhaps the lowest moment in the history of both the batman series and superhero movies the movie that nearly brought down the careers of clooney arnold uma oprah the movie that made joel schumacher the most feared name among dc fanboys until joss whedon why did you say that then ladies and gentlemen batman and robin the fourth batman flag that brought back director joel schumacher and writer akiva goldsman from the hugely popular yet critically divided batman forever but kick val kilmer out of the bat suit for his difficult behavior on the set of forever and his prior commitment to starring in the saint leaving george clooney to exchange his er scrubs for the rubber cowl of the dark knight alongside returning robin chris o'donnell and the new villains poison ivy and mr freeze played by pulp fiction breakout uma thurman and the famous comedian arnold braunschweiger schwarzenegger just untied yet schumacher's embrace of the 60s era campy batman was not at all what fans wanted and george clooney's days as batman were numbered by a double dose of underwhelming box office and absolutely awful reviews with schumacher's plans for a fifth batman cancelled and seven years to pass before christopher nolan and christian bale would bring the batman back to life but since i once loved this movie as an incredibly stupid child let us see if batman and robin really deserve to be the straw that broke the bat's back we all know that the truly terrible batman robin movie was the 1949 serial of the same name where batman fought some dude in a charlie brown ghost costume named the wizard sealer the batman a lot of worthless pebbles i got a rock and treated in his batmobile for a 49 mercury 264 minutes long people so to all you dorks complaining about robert pattinson playing batman binge all 15 episodes of this [ __ ] i hope you choke on them [Music] thanks for watching awfully good movies if you enjoy our shows please subscribe to our channel right now like this video and click on the bell so you can be notified each time a new video goes up now back to the show now's the time to pour yourself a drink that is chilled to perfection and booze your way through those terrible ice puns with the awfully good drinking game take a double shot for each of our montages of our heroes suiting up complete with bat ass bat dick and the infamous bat nipples which return from their appearance in batman forever are the nipples still there of course this is joel schumacher film everybody has nipples mock schumacher all you want nerds but i'll have you know that bruce wayne's nipples do get really hard from fighting crime and need plenty of room to breathe i want a car chicks dig the car this is why superman works alone actually i believe that this is why superman works alone don't eat a bell i'll cancel the pizza oh god he didn't laugh at the pizza joke so stupid alfred this is why you're a damned butler so clooney and his batmobile and o'donnell on his robin cycle are off to a museum to help commissioner gordon nab gotham's newest bad guy turn the security guards into blocks of ice he's calling himself mr freeze mr freeze not the name of a dairy queen menu item but rather the criminal nickname for the top build over batman arnold schwarzenegger as dr victor freeze two-time olympic decathlete nobel prize winner for molecular biology who's trying to find a cure for the terminal illness of his cryogenically frozen wife when a freak accident throws his body into a cryo tank cryo solution mutated his body oh no these chemicals have turned me into david lynch yeah you think you've seen a movie on your [ __ ] phone let's unblush it all of it so freeze keeps himself cold as well as the tank containing his comatose wife by stealing diamonds which help power up his freeze gun which encases its victims in ice show some mercy mercy because diamonds and ice are the same thing hi frieze i'm batman well done movie the signature line of batman has just been said by george clooney with all the authority of i'll take that chipotle order to go please and he's surfing off of a dinosaur's tail his mentor ross alf linstone has clearly taught him well by now it's clear that schumacher has fully embraced the adam west style camp approach that he flirted with in batman forever but even the 60s show had better stage fights than whatever this disney on ice [ __ ] is supposed to be the edits are frenetic the tilted camera photography is nauseating the hanna-barbera sound effects are embarrassing this feels like a six-flag stunt show of batman complete with obvious stuntmen for our lead actors look at arnold's stuntman he looks so sad almost as sad as the people who have to hear those damnable ice jokes of his the iceman cometh the condition has left me cold everything freezes what killed the dinosaurs guys yeah i learned that from watching the series finale of my favorite abc sitcom dinosaurs and with freeze getting away in a hybrid tank slash rocket ship you can be assured that warner brothers is gonna plug all these potential toy sets for the movie's merchandising bonanza with the cape crusaders giving chase to the wing and mr freeze using the doors of his exploding rocket as [ __ ] surfboards thus the clock grew one minute closer to the doomsday of batman vs teenage mutant ninja turtles robin runs the catch freeze and gets shot with his freeze ray and batman is left behind to make a hard choice what will you do chase the villain or save the boy make your choice spider-man looks like the only option he has left is to pose robin's frozen corpse to make it look like he's grabbing his wiener or we melt him out inside a laser gun hot tub warm liquid goo phase beginning do we get it well robin what we do got is a director who's burning off all the goodwill he's earned from lost boys and falling down a script with no understanding of the batman mythology or fan base and me future oscar winner george clooney getting out acted by [ __ ] schwarzenegger but if you met mr freeze then no we did not get him that's why this day is mine but what would a post-89 batman movie be without a second villain wedged into the proceedings in this case poison ivy played by uma thurman otherwise known as pamela eisley a botany-based scientist who operates in the shady laboratory of dr jason woodruff played by the great john glover in his second film for schumacher and second of many appearances in the dc universe whom pamela catches meeting with the united nations to sell his evil invention of genetically altered super soldiers who are powered by the doctor's toxic concoction behold thane of humanity so you're saying that bane in this movie was created by using a substance called venom of course well god damn it tom hardy i was about to write your career off but you crossing together two comic universes into one performance is sheer genius the fire rises and just as our hopes of the main character being respected here have been killed so is pamela eisley killed by dr jason when she rejects his sexual advances and he kills her with a shell full of toxic chemicals that soon transform the woman into poison ivy a sultry plant-based seductress who lures in horny dudes and treats them to a literal kiss of death one of the things i probably should have mentioned this earlier i'm poison this is what happens when you don't follow the medical advice of doctors bell biv and devoe [Music] so as ivy looks to seek vengeance on wayne enterprises for funding this evil doctor with some help from frankenstein's monster or i mean bane and step on it freeze is hiding out inside an abandoned frozen food factory leading his henchmen in a chorus from the rank and bass animated special the year without a santa claus [Applause] yes just when mr freeze was becoming a more respected batman villain thanks to the animated series arnold beats out anthony [ __ ] hopkins for the part of mr freeze and brings him back to the dark days of his fellow austrian actor otto preminger one moment you'll have a somewhat poetic moment of freeze mourning his wife and then bam vivica a fox pops up as a useless henchwoman dressed up as a character from baby's kids what do you say we hate things up my passion thoughts for my pride alone it's wholly emblematic of the infamous quote that joel schumacher said of his approach to this film they're called comic books not tragic books but the campy approach worked in the 60s because it was of its time when comic books were a lot more cornier and bringing that into tim burton's darker take on batman does not fit in the slightest with the only two actors returning from the other movies being the late great pat hingle as jim gordon and michael goff as alfred pennyworth goth is the actor i've associated with alfred ever since i was a kid so seeing his alfred secretly struggling with the rare affliction of mcgregor syndrome is the only time this movie makes me feel something other than rage what is batman if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world and as stiff and bland as he may be in the bat suit clooney is far better as bruce wayne in his effectively dramatic talks with alfred here victory comes in defending what we know is right have you ever regretted your life working here my only regret is that i was never able to be out there with you did clooney and michael god forget that they're in the same movie as an austrian frost giant who makes his henchmen sing along with cartoons not all heroes wear masks now along comes alicia silverstone fresh off her breakout role in the beloved 90s comedy excess baggage dropping by wayne manor as alfred's young niece barbara wilson barbara is the daughter of my dear sister margaret both my parents were killed in a car accident five years ago uncle alfred's been supporting me ever since everybody got that a part which is nothing more than setting up the character of batgirl to be wedged into this movie's already stuffed telephone booth of a cast but after the studio cut most of batgirl scenes due to silverstone's costume having to be refit after she gained a few pounds the poor girl is left with nothing to do here outside of making a pointless excursion to the outskirts of gotham for a totally extreme bike race where dick grayson races alongside her and the droogies from clockwork orange 25 years before they popped up in another shitty warner brothers [ __ ] fest not to mention coolio yes the coolio popping up at a part which he was said to reprise in schumacher's next sequel batman triumphant where his name would be revealed to be that of jonathan crane i'm not kidding people [Music] yes julio's hair resembles that of a scarecrow but this does not make him ideal to actually play the scarecrow all apologies to coolio's fine work acting in the oscar-winning political satire that beach i'm one of the fat boys which one the fat one anyway back to poison ivy who is confronting bruce wayne wearing a dress down disguise to ask him to use his newly built telescope in her plan to save the earth from mankind's ravages to her beloved mother nature your intentions are noble but no diesel fuel for heat millions of people would die of cold and hunger acceptable losses in the battle to save the planet a day of reckoning is coming the day will come hey guys you remember how the riddler's origin in that last movie also involved their evil proposal getting rejected by bruce wayne jesus christ bruce you didn't learn from the last time this happened you dumb bastard you dumb bats turd we then go to a charity ball hosted by the caped crusaders because we've gone from batman stealing cameras to ensure his image isn't revealed to the public to now hosting a rich people auction like he and robin are the [ __ ] kardashians and who should sneak into this ball but poison ivy and bane posing as backup dancers inside purple monkey dishwasher outfits it's for those zero people out there who wanted a batman movie to reference a 90 year old marlena dietrich movie and you are poison ivy on top of her poison lips ivy also emits a pheromone-laced dust that makes any man who breathes it fall in love with her with batman and robin in particular getting in a heated auction over a night with ivy which forces batman to break out the dreaded bat credit card good through forever never leave the cave without it i thought my jokes were bad arnold better come remind batman who tells the really shitty jokes in this movie all right everyone chill chill i invented chill it's a cold town cool party let me guess blind girl fine lady huh oh truly the funniest jokes told by a nobel winning scientist since marie curie did death comedy jam now the partnership of batman and robin here has garnered plenty of jokes about its homoerotic overtones including from batman himself and even if the long-standing gay jokes about batman and robin didn't already exist they are bickering non-stop like a married couple in this movie how we supposed to work together if you won't trust me your head wasn't even on the job all you could think about was poison ivy it's batman and robin not robin and batman and i'm sick of it we'll apologies to robin and elle mcpherson in her pointless role as bruce's neglected girlfriend but bruce's real love is having traumatic flashbacks of his childhood in the wake of seeing his parents getting murdered by one of the joker's followers outside of a movie theater after seeing zorro the gay blade oh by the way batman caught mr freeze in a fight scene we couldn't afford to film with arnold's predator and running man co-star jesse ventura popping up as a guard at arkham asylum allow me to break the ice [Music] and yes this means two of the men in this scene are now former governors of american states perhaps there's hope for the guy wearing the eye patch over here to also make a governor bid but freeze gets his eye suit back from the property locker that contains cameos from the last movie's bad guys a laundry service that delivers wow after poison ivy helps freeze escape from arkham your sister is here to see you sister brother dear don't mind us ma'am yes it makes sense that his sister is apparently a drag queen who had enough time between filming rupaul's drag race and rupaul's all-stars to visit her deformed austrian brother i'm running an empire i need the diamonds from my hideout i'll help you grab your rocks you you do realize that joke was referring to your testicles yes i know you met my testicles testicles not good and while arnold makes a heroic effort to live up to the mega campy tone of this movie it's uma thurman who comes closest to knowing what kind of movie schumacher wants to make here namely a terrible movie you're going to tell me where freeze is and then you're going to jail i'm a lover not a fighter that's why every poison ivy action figure comes complete with him try not to make a mess when you die why are all the gorgeous ones homicidal maniacs is it me hey man you and your boyfriend are the only ones here wearing nipples on your superhero outfits so that is clearly declaring to gotham's evildoers that you are down for a bat [ __ ] [Applause] of course but batman and robin find themselves fighting each other for a change when batman accuses robin's beloved ivy of brainwashing him with batman throwing his old chum into some green colored chum i'm just right i don't need your help i'm going solo now i'm going to get my own hbo max show it's going to be called batman's former partner robin so with batman and robin's partnership in ruins ibm plugs the tank with frieza's sleeping beauty inside and pins the blame on batman when recounting the event to mr freeze she's dead you lie who vows vengeance on all of gotham for his wife's death humanity will suffer with me i will blanket the city endless winter i will perfect my own race of people a chance for mother nature to start again holy off broadway batman mr freeze and poison ivy are going to stage a revival of little shop of horrors after humanity's been frozen to death there won't be any audiences to boo them for all my life i've always been poor yeah i'm rick moore anus yes so is anyone's guess what the main plot thread is at this point alfred trying to contact his brother wilfred so he can take over as bruce's butler when alfred dies dick and barbara finding out that alfred's deadly disease is the same one as frieza's wife nora which frieze has just found a cure for or poison ivy and bane modifying the bat signal into a robin signal it's not a bat light it's a robin signal she did it for me for love she wants to kill you and luring robin into ivy's lair that she and mr freeze share inside an abandoned turkish bath which she took from another clockwork orange wannabe street gang i want to make sure you're serious about turning over a new leaf time to die little robin rubber lips are immune to your charms ah far more effective than robin's original plan to wear a pair of waxed lips [Music] but just as it seems our cape crusaders have been defeated by terrible editing comes our third hero of the movie you're about to become compost chicks like you give women a bad name yep even though this barbara is not the daughter of commissioner gordon because pat hingle refused to undergo a jk simmons workout she has hacked into the bat computer to find that alfred has uploaded a max headroom clone of himself into it and made a costume in his niece's size suit me up uncle alfred yeah thus helping her become the batgirl who helps bruce and dick defeat ivy in appropriately dumb fashion curses bruce it's me barbara and you are batgirl that's not awfully pc what about bad person or bad woman how about we instead call her for what she is a cynical ploy to help this movie appeal to teenage girls and have another character to make toys from complete with a removable bat cow that barbara pulls out of her ass while driving this bicycle only to throw it off her head to the ground in the very next scene and all the while joel schumacher fiddles carelessly while gotham city burns to the ground or should i say freezes to the ground after freeze hijacks wayne's telescope to shoot his freeze ray over all of gotham city here i'm getting the feeling of coming at the gym i'm getting the feeling of coming at home and now this ejaculation rate will help me get the feeling of coming all over the world let's take some ice the fight between freeze and the dynamic duo turned trio is another tiring exchange of stiff action choreography that's barely visible amidst all this akimbo camera work all you need to know is that bane gets the venom pumped out of his body and batman reigns triumphant over the iceman hey freeze the heat is on i think not bombs away i'd rather that this movie instead followed the advice from schumacher's previous movie and burn inhale rather than freeze in hell so as our heroes thaw the city from its deep freeze batman reveals to the doctor that ivy was the one who killed his frozen wife as i told lady freeze when i pulled her plug thankfully nora's life has been saved in the nick of time and frieza's vaccine for the e wood mcgregor syndrome could be administered to bruce wayne's dying butler with freeze allowed to continue his research peacefully in arkham asylum will you help me doctor take two of these and call me in the morning you see this whole movie could have been avoided if alfred had just gotten the damn vaccine alfred wakes the next morning feeling rejuvenated by frieza's serum and contemplating the newly formed family that has been constantly name-dropped into this movie at vin diesel levels when one grows ancient one yearns for family alfred and bruce are like family clean your dishes you call that family oh [ __ ] perhaps the door is being left open for the batmobile to go up against dom toretto's race car we're going to need a bigger cave no even better that reference to jaws clearly means that batman is going up against jaws in the next movie this is perfect batman's got plenty of shark repellent on him from last time holy sardine was schumacher apologizing for this film on its dvd commentary the wounds on the careers of batman and robin's cast and crew proved to be short-lived writer keva goldsman won an oscar joel schumacher made plenty of good movies before his death of cancer in 2020 and george clooty just directed a movie starring his fellow batman ben affleck so even though it brought down the original batman films in a blaze of obnoxious camp and overstuffed plot we would not have the quality comic book films of today without the holy unique bat bomb a bat bomb that was batman and robin so i say its existence is an awfully good thing for the superhero genre and much like any good superhero movie these days it saves its worst villain for last in a cameo during the credits that's stupid use your common sense can't wait to see mr freeze going up against mr peace surprise i am your new cell mate i'm fighting for my life y'all got me with this on the enjoyableness continuum scale from boulder bruce batman robin isn't the bad movie that the fans needed but it was the one that warner brothers deserved and rubs another man's rhubarb with a six out of ten okay you want to get nuts batman franchise come on let's get nuts i'm jessie shade for joeblow.com and thanks again for watching our show if you like what you see please subscribe to the joe blow originals channel tell all your friends who like this sort of content and turn on the bell to receive notifications for all our latest videos we are an independent company that appreciates all of your support and no there is sadly not a schumacher cut for batman and robin out there but there is a schwarzenegger cut [Music] [Applause] [Music] if revenge is a dispense of cold then put on your sunday finest you

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Keywords: joblo videos, joblo, awfully good movies, joblo originals, movie review, review, batman & robin, batman & robin 1997, batman & robin soundtrack, george clooney batman, uma thurman poison ivy, arnold schwarzenegger, arnold schwarzenegger mr freeze, arnold schwarzenegger mr freeze puns, chris o'donnell robin, joel schumacher, joel schumacher apologizes for batman and robin, george clooney, uma thurman, chris o'donnell, batman & robin poison ivy, batman & robin bane, batman

Id: J-pazo2XyHA

Length: 25min 40sec (1540 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 07 2022