What you're about to see is the culmination of nine hours of work. Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning recently got an update that added a secret ending to the game, and me, I naively thought that I'd be able to get it relatively easily, considering I'd already beaten Baldi. So, how bad could this secret ending be? However, in order to get this ending you have to get every single question that Baldi puts in front of you wrong. And as some of you may know, that when you answer a question wrong, Baldi gets angry, and when Baldi's angry he moves faster, and faster, and faster. Which requires new strategies, the utilization of a new character that they added to this game, which makes this entire thing possible, and it requires a mountain of luck. So get ready for a whole lot of Baldi on the final attempt that actually succeeded and then afterwards, once you witness the secret ending, you can see a cavalcade. A compilation, a collection of all the worst times that Baldi spanked my ass harder than it's ever been spanked So please, Enjoy... [Fading In] ...Hallway at the exact wrong time. The principal just had to be - I wasn't even running. I - I was able to beat the bully. Like, I had enough stuff, the bully could just take something, and I'd be okay. I think I fucked myself over because I did the - the lock, but either way I was boned, no matter what with that guy there. Oh my god, are you fucking kidding me? I just can't believe it - it's so ridiculous. Like, of all the people - of all the people, and at the exact moment that I couldn't! [Distant.] (Playtime: I wanna play with someone!) Mark: Ah, it just hurts, you know? It just hurts, it just really hurts. I hate RNG, I hate it with a passion. This is a red-hot burning passion. I hate it. How are you able to go through, like, the middle? That doesn't make any sense at all... Okay. Hey buddy, how you doing? That was rough, but at least I got there . That was gonna be a win, if that guy wasn't there. That was 100% going to be a win. 'Cause I had everything that I needed, I wasn't gonna run, I wasn't gonna do anything. Like, I just had the one - if I just had the one drink, like that was really all I needed. But I also got to remember, if I'm pushing them with the soda, I can't use the lock, because then they're just gonna go around the other way, and that's gonna screw me over more than anything that I could do to myself. So I just got to remember, take it easy, take it slow. Use the lock on the lunchroom, wait for him at the lunchroom door. Like, I have to wait for him at the lunchroom door, because that really like - that's the only place that I could legitimately Get him...umm..and stop him for good. I'm gonna see if this guy...yup, he's gone. Okay. Should be able to go down to this one... Get this... But that was so close, though. So close. Okay, he's a gushin. Oh hey, buddy, why are you there? Of all people to be there, you are there. Oh that's that's Baldi, right there. Oops. (First Prize: I am coming, ready or not, here I come.) Okay, thank you. (First Prize: I hug people for all eternity.) All eternity huh? Wow, that's impressive. Awoosh. Let's try to hit...umm, I go here. Alright there we go...bye! (First Prize: I have lost you...I don't like that!) Ah shit. I hate that slap. (First Prize: I am coming, ready or not, here I come.) (Playtime: Let's play!) Mark: Oh boy. Alright, well, screw me then. It's like I'm not even getting good in any of them. (Playtime: Ready? Go!) (Playtime: One...) (Sweeper: Looks like it's sweepin' time!)(Playtime: Two...) (Playtime: Three...) (Playtime: Four...) (Playtime: Wow, that's great!) [Fading out.] (Playtime: Let's play again sometime...) Okay, I think he's going back... (First Prize: I see you, friend!) No no no no no! Oh shit! Oh, fuck! Agh, he was just about to go around that corner! Goddamn it, I can't get...[grunts] Oh, saAAAA... [Overlapping.] (Sweeper: Gotta sweep, sweep, sweep sweep sweep...) NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! That was something else. Ah shit. (Playtime: Let's play! Ready? Go! One...) There's the coin, that's good. Okay. This is three... [Sighs.] (First Prize: I see you, friend!) I don't know if he saw me. I'm not 100% sure. He might have lost me but... I never know with these things. So hard to tell. (Playtime: Let's play!) The hell is he? (Playtime: Ready? Go!) (Playtime: One...) Uh oh. (Playtime: Two...) (Playtime: Three...) Maybe? (Playtime: Four...) Maybe?! (Playtime: Wow...) Ok, I absolutely cannot tell... Oh shit! Agh, fuck. I almost lost him but I...he was just going random directions and he just happened to stumble back upon me. Oh, well. Alas, shit happen-- Oh, no, no I got my sckissors! Got my sckissors for you! Let's see if it...see if I need to...oh, okay. (Playtime: Ohh! That makes me sad!) [Mocking Playtime] That makes me sad! God, oh no, oh no, oh no. Run! No, no, no, friend! Friend! Friend! I'D RATHER GO TO DETENTION! (First Prize: I hug people for all eternity.) Did I...did I get out of it? I don't know if I got out of it. Oh I don't think he saw me. I think he rounded the corner just, like, just... JUST barely as I was rounding the corner! Okay, well that's a thing. I don't like that tongue when it's waggling out right at me. Yeah, three hours everybody! Give it up, three hours! Three hours, whoo... Okay. So this is okay, we can... kind of circumvent everything. Get launched over here...so long as we play keep-away. We're doing okay. Okay, he's gonna lose sight of me because there's no doors. Oh, of course there's a bully here. Can you please not be there? Could you not be there? (Bully: Give me something great!) Alright, well... Now he's gonna know. (Playtime: Let's play!) Let's not! (Playtime: Ready? Go!) Oh God, I'm gonna get pushed all the way to the end now. Here we go! Okay, thank you. Are you gonna do it again? I hate this. I hate this jump rope girl, I hate her. Just- what are you- ugh... Okay... Alright, whatever, its fine (Playtime: I wanna play with someone!) Mark: Motherfucker. *Overlapped distorted talking* Playtime: Let's play again... Mark: Okay... We'll go through this again. I'm gonna get this scissors, too. Just in case. You never know with this shit. *sigh* (First Prize: I am coming, ready or not, here I come.) Mark: Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Oh no! Oh no, that's...that's opposite of good! GO! Leave! Go! oh, oh, he's there, okay. You get- good thing I got those sckissors. Ah move, move, move! Okay. Come on buddy! Come on, mama jama! Come on, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, boo boo! Buddy buddy boo bear! Buddy buddy boo bear! I love you! Oh, no--Okay, it's fine. Buddy buddy boo bear! *kissing* I love you! Buddy buddy boo bear. Okay, come on! Push me, push me, push me good! Push me, push me like you should! Push me! Weee. Okay, all right. Now, that's enough pushing. You did your job, You did good. I'm VERY proud of you. (First Prize: Oh, no.) Mark: Very proud of you. Okay, he should lose me. He should lose me. Okay, get this, get the other... Okay, she's gonna be there, let me see if I can... No. Might as well just- (Playtime sequence) Mark: Oh, shit. Agh, he saw me, Goddamn it! Ugh, why did I have to go into the intersection to be seen? Why did I have to do that? I didn't have to do that. Actually, that's something that I did not have to do! And yet I did it! Why did I did it? I don't know. Okay, whatever. I'm gonna go get the fifth one... Where's he going? Oh! God, every time he's just like "Hello!" Agh, I can't get away from him. Okay, oh, no. No (x15) Friend, goodbye! (First Prize: Will you marry me?) Mark: No, I will not. Okay. What I'm gonna do... If I can pop around here just in time. Is he there? Damn, he's there. Okay, that's fine. You come with me. Thank you. Okay. This is better. This is better positioning because what's gonna happen is... I'm gonna be able to round this corner. All right, he's gonna get me. Oh, he got me. Okay, should be able to get around this corner. Wow, I cannot believe that guy got me not running! And then I'll get all the way over to the end. Use...use the door once he gets over there. Once he comes out the door real angry, like... He will... Sweeper: Looks like it's sweepin' time! Mark: Please don't ruin my day.. How...no! First Prize: I have lost you. I don't like that. Mark: Where's he goin'? Oh, he probably got swept away, okay. Okay, this is gonna be interesting. Okay, the guy just went away. He's a-coming, I gotta... Oh, boy. Here he... Okay! I don't know where he is, but that's okay, because he might...we might be able to lose him. That'd be ideal anyway... Which way is he coming from? Okay, he's down there, okay he's down there, that's good. No, I will not. You've done your job, good job, thank you for that. Now, I've got to do my thing. That's okay, buddy. Don't worry about it, you're stressing too much. Bully: Give me something great! (Mark: No, I will not.) Okay. *slap* *slap* *slap* Just gonna see where he goes. *slap* *slap* I think he's coming to me. No. No? Okay. Here, we go. Let's do this. Maybe three sodas would be-no, I gotta use the lock. I'm gonna use the lock. That's what Imma do. That's the strategy. That's the- I use the lock, that's what I gotta do. When he's right over here. Please don't sweep me, not now. Not now. Where the fuck... The fuck oh, shit. Goddamn it, is he, is he really... Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me? That's not where you're supposed to be, motherfucker! Okay, well, we're gonna have to deal with it like this then, huh? Motherfucker... That's not good. No, do not. Don't! Why?! Okay, you motherfucker. This is not ideal, but I don't think it's unwinnable. I think I can still get this if I just play my cards... Super right, 'cause now he's going to be coming down the other side, now. It's not what I wanted to do but it's what I had to do anyway because... Announcer: Congratulations! You found all seven notebooks! Mark: So I'm gonna try to go the other way. You know what I mean? (Announcer: Now all you need to do is...) Announcer (loudly): GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!! Hahahaaaa... Mark: Because I think the lock goes away? Actually I have no reason to believe that the lock is not... The lock's still there, isn't it? No, it's not. Okay, this is fine. Okay. I've got... Okay, we're going the other way, but I think it's... still gonna be okay. Like, no matter what, at the end of the day... It's just about... Getting all four. I can get the other soda too. Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We got now...we now have... Get this one... (distorted bass sound) I'm not looking at the dude. Is he coming down this hallway to the here? No, he's not. But if that girl gets near me, I am pushing her away! You, better both fucking believe! Oay, there he is. Okay. I've got two sodas. I've got TWO sodas. *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* Doing it just because I don't want to get caught with the dude there, you know what I mean? (distorted sound stops) Mark: YES! FINALLY! I did it and it was so clean! It was so clean, it was so clean! Oh, I'm gonna lose... Oh, I'm gonna lose consciousness. I did it. That was such a clean run, it had the clean-a-run. It was a-magnificent. Okay. So I already knew that this was the way it is, but I didn't see what was in the office. The only thing I saw was how to get to it. What's in the office... is a mystery. Hang on, just... Man, can you believe that was my first try? Just over nine and a half hours is what that took.. Let's see what's in the office. "There's room for improvement. Go see Baldi in his office for some tips." Okay, those lights are a little funky but, okay? Oh, Oh, ho ho! Ah, nice banana arm! Okay! Oooh, ooo, aye. [Heads up, quotation marks is context in the game!] "Oh jeepers, you found me!" "Good job, I'm glad you found me." "Look I have something kind of important to say.." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "It's about the game, don't..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Uh, eh.." "Don't..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Don't just..." "*Compressed breathing.*" "This is...-" "This is probably looking pretty ridiculous..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Don't tell anyone about this game." "You wanna... Don't... Don't bring attention to yourself." "Destroy...Destroy the game." "Destroy the game." "Before... It's too late." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "What I'm saying is..." "Is get out of this..." "While you still can." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Just don't...Don't know..." "You probably- No, I'm not someone trapped inside the game. That would be ridiculous. No, I'm... *Shaky breath.*" "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Can't...This is not...The game was kind of..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "I got really corrupted." "Yeah, I..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" Oooh. "I don't know what to say." "*Small, shaky breath.*" "Just..." "Just trust me." "You gotta..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "This isn't...This seems..." "I...It seems...Oh..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "They'd know I..." "They intentionally..." "*Shaky inhale.*" "That's...I guess...I can't..." "I can't tell you." "Uh, some stuff is classified. I can't say it..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "I wish I could say more." "I can't talk normally. I-It's corrupted." "There's..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Yeah..." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" "Just...Close the program." "Destroy it." "Never come back." "*Loud, distorted noises.*" Agh, fuck! That wasn't even worth it. That wasn't even worth it. *angrily* That wasn't even remotely worth it. That wasn't even remotely worth NINE and a half HOURS! Of work! Are everyone's ears bleeding? I have my volume cranked up for games like this but oh, my God. But, we did it! I did it! We did it! You did it! We all did it! I feel awful. I feel worse. I feel worse for doing this. You know, I thought, I thought that, uh, I thought that, uh, y'know I'd be like, "no, oh, yeah, that's pretty, good, I'm pretty happy about all this." Turns out, now, turns out not even a little bit not at all, no, nothing. Turns out I hate myself. Kind of a lot. I wish I never even, er, saw this game. I wish I never even knew that there was a secret, *inhale* ending to this game! I wish, I wish I had done something completely different with my life! BUT that's uh that's, what happens. At least I did it so that you guys didn't have to. Thank you, everybody that partook of this and joined me on this sordid adventure of uh, futility and death. And, um, thank you everybody that believed in me so far, and I appreciate all of you being here. Spread love and joy as much as you can, before Baldi comes and shoves a stick up your butt. And thank you again for watching and as always i'll see you in the next video! Buh- *Loud, distorted noises.* No, no no not now. Oh boy, well this is a problem! No, whoa wait- agh! Don't, no...hey! Whoa, hey! Bad touch! Bad touch! AAAAHH! Oh, that's... Ah, no, no! No! Nah! Norrr! Nor... Hey, buddy. Whoa... Oh, they fix the door 'sploit! Okay, that was a bit too close. I don't know why I was so worried about that. Sweeping' Time: (Overlapping) GOTTA SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP!!!! Mark: (weird voice) Swee, wee, swee, sweep. Ah- NO NO NO NO! That's unfair, that is really unfair! That's... (weird electronic buzzing noise) That is unfair. Do it! Push me! Push me! Push me! Push me! PUSH ME! There we go! Push! No, no, push this way! Push, push, push! There we go! That's what I call a push! All right, well, that's horrible. Oh, this is bad. Um...well, uh... The principal is right there so I can't- NO! DON'T HUG ME! Oh no, don't, don't! No hug! Bad hug! Bad hug! Okay, there we go. I'm gonna pop this b- ohh, he's-a com- NO! PUSH HER! PUSH HER, NOT ME! You missed, you asshole! You missed by that much! Oh, never mind, never mind! No! Not! This! Way! Not! This- Aww, he took my quarter! He took my quarter! Damn you! Please, no principal... (It's a Bully: Give me something greattt!) Mark: No! Ohhh, my soda! I...NO! (Principal: No running in the halls!) Please, no! But but, no! You're gonna hug me! Get me before he hugs me! Principal: 15 seconds, detention for you. When will you learn? (Mark: Okay.) All right, okay, there we go? WHYYY?? I-- *mumbling* (Playtime) Oops! You messed up! Let's play! Mark: NO! Kill me! Kill me, please! Just kill me! Nooo! Principal: 15 seconds. Detention for you. When will you learn? When will I learn? AH! Oh, oh my God, I... I forgot that b-, I uh-- I forgot...I didn't think he'd be that close. You believe in me? That's good, I don't believe in myself so I don't even know if it's gonna work out for me. N-No! (unintelligible mumbling) I know I was going in here anyway, I just...AAHH! Oh, the tape did nothing! No, you were gonna get me, oh no, no? But the guy, I have to run... (Mumbling) No, please, I don't wanna hug! I don't want it! Missed me by that much! Okay, I've got...um, I've got soda. So I can... push me- Push me a little bit, a little bit. No, not that much--No, small push! I'm gonna push you back! Oh, did I get him? I was off target by just a little bit... NOOOOOOOO! I'm just sucking it up majorly. Oh...let go! (Principal: No running in the halls!) No! Come on! Are you kidding me?! Principal: 30 seconds, detention for you. When will you learn? Oh yeah, he's gonna slap my ass! Oh, he's gonna... Oh, he's really gonna whangdoodle on my ass! oh, boy here he comes. Yep, here he comes! Someone catch me! Put me in detention! I've been a bad boy! I wanna go, I wanna go to bad boy place! Please! Please! Sweeper man? Okay, cool. What I'm gonna do... Is I'm gonna use the soda, I'm gonna blast him down this hallway, I'm gonna turn around... I'm gonna use the soda, I'mma blast him down the hallway... I'm gonna...go to the last room... I'm gonna make the long pass around the cafeteria, and... 3, 2, 1... Principal: No drinking drinks in the halls. Mark: God, are you fucking kidding me?? Are you fucking...the one time! I'm trying to... First Prize: I see you, friend! (Baldi slapping at great speed) Mark: Ooh, ooh! Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa... Whoa! WAA-- God! You gotta believe. If you believe in me, type #MarkipliersBigBeliefBoy... And you'll believe! You'll believe in me! You want to be Markiplier's Big Belief Boy? You know you do. I know you do! We all know. We know and we do. We do and we know. We know and do, and we do know! And we know to do it! We know, and we do! We know and do. Come on, come on, come on! Let's go, let's go, let's go...no! Oh, please! Rescue me! Rescue me! Rescue me! Rescue me, man! (Mark grunting) First Prize: I hug people for all eternity. You are a saint! Get out of my way! Ohhh, my God... (Overlapping) NO, YOU... NO! You...ASSHOLE! Hi? Hi... Hello...okay! (Gotta Sweep: GOTTA SWEEP, SWEEP, SWEEP!) I knew it! I fucking knew it! You fucking ASSHOLE! Gotta Sweep (overlapping): Gotta sweep, sweep, sweep! Mark: I need to get a soda. But I don't know... Principal: No running in the halls. Mark: God, oh, of course---GOD... First Prize: Will you marry me? Mark: You kidding me? Are you kidding me?! ARE YOU KIDDING--NO, I HAD MY CHANCE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME...I had a chance... Mark: No...oh, okay, I guess we're going this way. (First Prize: Will you marry me?) No, I won't. NOOO! Is that...ooh! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes, that was very...almost got me! No, not the bully, not the bully! No! Anything but the bully! Anything but the...anything but the...anything but the bully! Anything but the bully! Not the BULLY, not the BULLY! [Shirk - Haunted]
