Baba Ram Dass -1976, Aspen CO

[Music] and I finally found Maharaj ji Maharaj II said what are you doing here I said Maharaj ji I can't stand my impurities you gotta save me I just can't stand it I said I'm not pure enough to do whatever it is I'm supposed to do so he hit me on the head and he said you will be well in guru talk that's big stuff [Music] [Music] so I watched for immediate effects but not a hell of a lot happened and a few months later I said Maharaja you promised me and he pulled my beard and he laughed and he said you will be and a year and a half later in 72 when he was throwing me out of India again I said look Maharaja you can't send me back to America I'm still a mess and he said here eat this mango so I took that mango and there are all these other devotees around and I wasn't gonna share that man take that mango to the bathroom I would have eaten the seed if I couldn't I even thought if I plant the seed I'll get more mangoes and then I could liberate others Oh mango mango mango Baba and nothing happened but he said see he said to me one day I said to one of his Indian devotees I said Maharaj II can't send me back to America because I'm really liable to screw up other human beings lives and I don't mind screw up my own karma I don't want to do it but I really don't want to screw around with other people's Karma and you know he's legitimizing me and then sending me into the lion's mouth and I'm a screw-up and I don't really want to hurt other people and this man came back saying Maharaja said he'd never let you do anything wrong in America and when I came before Mara ji I said Maharaja can't you see how impure I am see and he looks and he looked up and down and all around he says I don't see any impurity well he said something and the translator said Maharaja doesn't see any impurity later I learned by the way all the time I thought my Raji was saying what the translator said this is very far out just an aside turns out that Mirage II was one of the most follow mouth people in existence he used to be known as latrine Baba and he called everybody's sister and he used to talk about us that way and but the Indian devotees didn't want to hurt our feelings so they translate he'd probably say get that sister out of here in the translator would say my Raji says you're looking very well it's really hard to know what the transmission was at anytime in form but at any rate I came back to America in 72 with the clear protection that mahadji had guaranteed I would could do nothing wrong which meant he was taking on my karma which gave me license to do anything you understand that is really the worst thing he could have said because I would let myself go further and further out and out and out and say well I'll try that because after all it's in the moment and he said he'd never let me do anything wrong so it's must be protected now it wasn't all I mean it's not all quite that horrible you know because what was happening to me was that the purity of the yearning of the people that came towards me towards me my Boston accent towards me elicited from me something that wasn't what I still was you understand it took out of me something more than I was in other words somebody would come forward who really wanted God or really wanted liberation and I just that stuff in me that worldly stuff just couldn't function it was like their purity of their desire was a demand upon me that pulled out of me stuff that was higher than I was if you will or higher than I acknowledged myself to be because I was so busy feeling identified with my desires with my lust with my anger with my unworthiness with my all the stuff you're identifying for the most part not all of you at all moments but all the time this is very interesting by the way I've never given this kind of a lecture in years now there's something about the intimacy of this room that's making it into a hanging out scene for me usually I get up and I I go up until I'm practically stiff and I start in God is light you know or even to your heart and I just started take us all up and we can go up later I mean that's okay with me [Music] but you see uncaught just like you're caught in the predicament that we are in the world and we are in an incarnation and we have babies and jobs and world and parents and karma that we've been we are working out and we can't sort of say hey just hold it you know don't move until I get enlightened because I don't want to hurt you you know you got to stay in the stew and keep working and it's impure but what can you do with that's just the way it is the only added burden that I had was the people looking towards me to liberate them and what a horror for people to look towards you to liberate them when you can't liberate yourself you know it's like the statement is made in India if you're caught in quicksand you can't free another or if you're bound in chains Ramakrishna says you can't untie the hands of another and I kept saying everybody watch it I mean I kept you know giving a de claimer you know the management takes no responsibility I'd say I am NOT enlightened I'm not realized I am a teaching I'm not a teacher you know I'm full of Hang Ups just I'm one of us just talking to us just take me for what it's worth if it doesn't touch your heart forget it it's probably phony and I said that every lecture I just kept saying it again and again and that sort of got me off the hook or sucked everybody in deeper whichever way you want to look at [Music] the power of apparent honesty around 1970s this is six yes it was the summer of 74 I was a Naropa Institute in Boulder Colorado giving a course in the bhagavad-gita now it was a great summer there was no doubt about that we all had a fascinating time that was a great spark between trungpa rinpoche and me and it was all like a tennis match and I understand from rolling stone he referred to me as a an arrogant confused charlatan going in the wrong direction that's a true market respect I take well it was a pretty strange summer and by the time I had finished it I had decided that I had taken enough people down the primrose path and I couldn't stand it anymore and I was going to get out it was just too heavy I just felt that what had happened was you see I didn't understand and I still don't understand I had no idea who trunk Burke is but he was obviously a Tundra teacher of some sort and I couldn't quite assess how far out Tundra gets and a lot of the things that were going on in the Institute were I was having to keep swallowing my nice Jewish middle-class righteousness and say well it's for the greater good and he's just burning stuff out of people and it's all great teaching and it might have been it might be it may be well I don't know but I was getting uneasy because I was going beyond where my heart was clicking it wasn't looking for me and I can get pretty far out when I'm working with an individual but it's got to always click along the way now I understand what that means do you hear what I'm saying it's like there are a lot of things that by the book you'd say oh no don't do that but at some moment it'll click and it's okay to do it while a moment later wouldn't be alright to do it or a moment before it wouldn't have been armed and the scene wasn't clicking for me so I decided to go back to India I don't know why my guru was dead and though I intellectually said dead med where can he go like he's just dropped his body you know it's no big deal because in 1972 one day I was sitting in the courtyard opposite him he was on the other side and there were all these devotees sitting around and rubbing his feet they give him apples and he throw them at our apples and he talked to them and it was that kind of loving bhakti delicious rich kind of hanging out with the Guru it was it's a if you've ever been in it you know what I'm talking about and if you can't it's like a it's a great night by the fire where you're all cuddly and it's really soft and loving and warm and the only thing is it's all connected with liberation right not just sensual gratification so it's a little different quality but other than that it's that same feeling of at homeless and the time stops and you're just in a delicious space and I was sitting across watching all this going on and saying boy they're all hung up in his form you know I don't really care if I never see him again I love him I love him tremendously but that isn't yet I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life rubbing his feet I mean that isn't what this is all about I have to go beyond seeing it in him and not in me in other words the Guru is called guru Kripa is a method of pursuing or following a devotion to the Guru but ultimately every method is a trap and you can alternately got to consume the method you've got to go beyond the method and ultimately the way it works is I remember sitting with Maharajah one night late in the afternoon it was just sort of sunset with beautiful quiet moment in the temple and I sat and he was talking to me and throwing things and patting me and doing all this kind of stuff he does and I decided I'm not gonna be sucked in by it that's like that's the melodrama on this plane and everybody's always sucked in by it but I forget it I'm gonna focus on my third eye and I'm just gonna meditate screw him I'm just not gonna do it I'm just not you know I won't respond he can throw the apples I'm not gonna catch him so I focused on my third eye and a minute later this Shakthi started to pour into me and I started to go like this and he went over in his side and pulled his blanket over his head and he started to snore and suddenly the universe started to fall away from me and then he sat up and he said and I was getting stiff and going into Samadhi and he said to the translator that was there he said ask Ramdas how much money Stephen makes and I heard that it's like the plane has just left Aspen it's just lifting up over the mountains and you see somebody down the airport waving you know it's from that distance that kind of thing I heard a scrum so much and I thought oh wow you know was that coming from I heard the I heard the devotee say oh bhava he I can't bother him he's meditating and he says ask him ask him never mind he's meditating and the guy was so apologetic and I had to come down you know you got to turn the plane around going to the landing pattern and I land and I came down I finds than I said thirty thousand dollars and then I went back up I wasn't gonna win a seed that he was like a set of infinite doorways and that if you grabbed on the physical plane that's what you got and if you didn't get hung up on that you got the astral one you started to meet Shiva or a honeymoon or whoever and if you didn't get hung up in that one which is very seductive by the way because it's fun to have Christ walk into the room or you know Shiva dance for you or the Divine Mother come and offer her breast or something like that but if you can say yeah baby that's fine but that's not what I want you know I'm going for broke and that to cut tuam I see all that stuff keep going you know step aside please here I go you just keep going through the doors and you keep going beyond guru you go beyond the dualism and it's a that of merging in which you finally closed in and then you understand what Ramana Maharshi said when he said God grew himself of the same thing that it's just a vehicle of love and opening and through the love of the beloved lover beloved lover beloved you merge it's like an orgasm and you merge into union except it's not an orgasm in time which is what our genital sexual orgasms we generally find it it is something where you merge in and then you never unmerge when you finally merge you may be informed separately but you are always merged there's only one of it after that that's what I realized being is there's nobody there this just forms acting well that's later maybe if I promise then I got to put into the computer to remember to close that thing so I don't know I used to lecture in the acid days and I would get six or seven digressions going at once and the audience would all be hanging and I think whether we're going to drop one of them along the way and I remember going home one night feeling very satisfied with evening and in the middle of the night waking up realizing I had left one untied and knowing somebody in the audience knew you know with all my somebody knew and so as I sat looking at Maharajah across the courtyard see we've got three going now you've got social responsibility we've got Naropa and we've got my Reggie in the courtyard and the mountains we let the mountains want until you get four don't be sloppy can't be lazy in these gatherings you go to work to whenever anybody has enough you should go home by the way okay because this is like hamburger or a veggie burger it just keeps coming out and coming out and coming out you know it's just so much stuff and you know what you need and don't take whatever heat it doesn't go anywhere there isn't an in conclusion let me say [Applause] [Laughter] we are okay as I sat across from Maharajah in the courtyard and I thought I don't need him you know what am i doing hanging in this is I've got dysentery you know I've lost 40 pounds I'm sitting here oh I'm being fed is poor e's cooked in grease and potatoes you know and i'm rubbing the feet of this man if i'm lucky five minutes a day and Here I am I'm 40 years old I mean what is this you know like how long does this go on is this yeah and I suddenly saw that that the method was more far-out than that and I was ready to let go of that form of it and I saw it I thought to myself it really doesn't matter whether I'm with him or not and at that moment I saw him lean over to this old Indian devotee who came running across the courtyard and got down on his knees and touched my feet which surprised me and I touched his feet which is you know we out touch each other's feet and I said why did you do that he said well Maharaj he said go touch Ron does his feet because he and I understand each other perfectly he's saying you're right baby don't get hung up don't get caught in the form and it was true every time I came to visit him he always threw me out all the other people he let hang in I hated them three months he had me on pilgrimage and I come back and I come in from on the train at 6:00 in the morning 4:00 in the morning the train would arrive Indian trains always arrive in the middle of the night and then you get a oxcart of something rickshaw from the station and you finally the temple opens at 6:00 and you get in and you finally see him and he says you walk in and you're home you're at the feet of the guru and you followed his feet and he says go to Delhi oh my god I just got here you know is there no rest so he was dead but I thought well I didn't need him anyway but I was that was a bit of a head trip you know in my gut I was still like working out the grief reaction and the feeling of loss and the feeling that this is the church I guess I should that son of a has walked out on me and left me and that isn't fair even though I remembered what Ramana Maharshi said when he was dying of cancer in his arm was cancerous and they said Bapuji Bhagwan you have all these powers heal yourself and he said no this body's all used up and they started to cry and they said oh by one don't leave us don't leave us and he said don't be silly where could I go like all I'm doing is dropping my body it's no big deal I'm not going anywhere that's your problem that's like somebody coming up to you and saying I'm selling my Chevrolet and you say oh don't say that Chevrolet don't say so what I was doing was I was going out I would sit and meditate with Maharajah and I had his pictures and I had his pictures my car and in my bedroom in my puja room and I talked to him all day long and I did his mantra and I was just feeling his presence all the time but I you know he still had split and I wasn't too sure but it would seem dokay and I felt like he was guiding me and every time something good would go I'd say thank you Maha Raji and every time anything bad would go I'd say it's a good teaching Maharaja thank you you know and I had the whole game going but it was a little bit here it wasn't fully right here so I've now left Naropa and I'm gonna go back to India I don't know what I'm going back for but I figure I'll do some Buddhist meditation or something and that'll be good clean up my activist and I was trying I mean are you even in America I was doing things like in the spring before I went to Naropa I had been on tour with Allen Ginsberg raising money for Naropa and we ended up at one point we are in Santa Fe and we were had a number of days before our next gig in Albuquerque and you're not supposed to call them gigs you're supposed to follow spiritual gatherings [Music] and we were in a sauna bath and there was a tibetan nun and alan and a boy with alan and another about eight of us I think Bhagwan das was there and we were all sort of lying in this bath sauna bath just hanging out going out in the Sun coming back into the bath and a telegram arrived for me saying the Rojas udaya Xin is being held at Mount Baldy in Los Angeles this is the most difficult of the Zen sittings each year we are holding a space for you it starts which was the next day now I didn't ask them to hold a space and I thought wow I don't want to go sit in a Zen machine for nine days I don't think I could do it anyway so I called them up and I said thank you very much but that's not for beginners and I'm a beginner and they said oh no you could do it there was my ego you could do it and it was a girl the one the Abbess was a woman and the way she said it so I was on a plane going to Los Angeles and I arrived at the Zen place and here I you know I've made this sacrifice I've left the sauna bath flown to Los Angeles go up to this cold mountain outside of Los Angeles and I met by a guy in a black outfit with a clipboard shaved head and I expect all Ramdas was so happy you could come you know I expect a little bit of ego feeding it dass rum you will be in bunk 6 here is your uniform you know whether John will show you how to put it on and you ought to be in the zendo in six minutes okay baby I'll play you know and I go in and I set my bunk up and you're not supposed to look at anybody to talk to anybody I go and sit and they got this guy that watched back and forth with a stick saying and you know most of you may know all this routine you got to sit like this and if you tilt or could do anything like this anything he comes up to you and he's a koreans he's up to you when he he bow and you bow it's got you and you put your hands down like this and he hits you three times on the shoulder with his stick which is supple and it stings right and then you go over on this side and he does three on that side and then he bowels and you bow nine days okay up at 2:00 every morning with four minutes to get from sleep into the zendo dressed washed right toilet you can't imagine what it's like in the pitch black with all these beings in black outfits rushing to toilets toothpastes zendo and you get in and at 2:00 in the morning and it's cold up there at its snowed and the the your sinuses I was getting sicker and sicker and the sinuses with draining you know and so you go Andes and you dish and if you did it twice and there was a guy on the next cushion they never beat him but everybody beat me all the time see they took turns we all took turns carrying the stick and I never beat anybody because well I beat somebody now and then there was always some scapegoat we all be I was the second one of those yeah I was always trying to find the teacher being sloppy that was my whole goal if I could just find just once just once if I could get that Korean so this guy in the next is awful never and you were only allowed see he walked in front of me when we went to breakfast we had a walk in single file and we had a run and in the night audience he is his sneakers and the sneakers were too big for him and he kept flopping so I spent nine days watching his flopping sneakers and his name was Leonard Cohen he's a singer that you must know and nobody ever hit him seen me they were beating to a pulp and I was getting sicker and sicker and I was plotting how to get out of this scene you know I was thinking could I have a telegram saying I've been called away or you know an emergency or remember I had a lecture or something and I was getting sicker and sicker and sicker four times a day you went in to visit the Roshi who was this tough squat Japanese at about 65 I've told the story some of you who heard it but it's a useful story in this content the way I got to into this meet this guy was that there was a gathering at a Benedictine monastery of a lot of holy beings supposedly at one point a year prior to that and each of them did his trip on all the others there was some Swami's Satchidananda and there was this Sasaki Roshi and Pierre Vilayet Khan was there and there were brother David from the Christians and there was somebody from everywhere and as slowmo Carlebach therefore the hassid's and you know everybody the teams were all represented and there was a time when we were all sitting as sushi and I was sitting next to Swami Chidananda and Sasaki Roshi was walking back and forth he given us the Kohen how do you know your Buddha nature through the sound of a grasshopper a cricket is there what crickets outside and so when it came my turn we would taught how to get in and by Oh with a certain number of times and all and you sit down and you sit in it's called Doukas on you come in you sit down and he's got a bell and a stick see Oh doctor doctor how you know your Buddha nature through sound of crickets so I knew that was the Kohen see and I've been sitting out there waiting for my turn thinking now what how would you know your Buddha nature see you're not supposed to do that but I figured so I concluded that the best thing to do when he asked me that was to hold my hand up to my ear which is what milarepa does the listening to the sounds of the universe outside his cave and I figured here is a Jewish Hindu in a Zen Buddhist scene I'll give him a Tibetan Buddhist and my chips and go I can be a good yoga teacher it's enough already for this life yep I'm getting sicker and sicker and matter and matter and more and more just bored and disgusted finally about the fourth of fifth day I'm walking up to see this guy and I haven't solved this one Cohen I've been given now for four days and I'm standing up there and I think I don't give a what the answer that Cohen is screw this whole scene I've had enough it's all and I walk into him and I sit down and he says uh doctor how you know and he gives me the thing and I say good morning Roshi like let's cut the crap Roshi good morning enough for it Oh doctor you are becoming a beginning student of Zen it's always the up level right I walked three feet off the ground you know I mean I and the bushes were all burning and the lights of the sky was already it's called a - Ettore and the next four days i was solving Cohen's left and right I was just in the flow it was just I had clicked in I had freaked so badly I had flipped in and I thought I'm enlightened and it lasted about a week it was a what would be called a traumatic high and getting technical in my analysis of the ways in which people get high you can fall off a cliff and you can do the same thing it's a trauma that pushes you opens you very quickly very dramatically but it overrides your karma and that's still there and the minute it gets a chance it sneaks back in and grabs you and pulls you back down so I was during those periods of time working still in myself with things like that and they would clean up my act and I would get clean and then I would come back into my stuff again and I was just going up and down and up and down the familiar roller coaster that we all know all too well I assume by now oK we've left Naropa we're gonna go back to India because nothing's really working it's all getting better getting clearer but it still hasn't flipped around I'm still an unworthy phony who has moments of holiness okay I'm not a holy being a being of the Spirit who now and then Falls you understand that distinction it's just which foot you're on balance done if you imagine a wheel with a hub in the center and the hub is liberation and the wheel is the wheel of births and deaths and your weight is on the foot on the births of debts and now and then through intense trauma or sadhna or the love of the guru or something it can flip over and get some weight into that foot and you get huh you see who you are and it's all beautiful and then you're off balance and you go back on that foot because that's home it's like I ought to meditate see that's that one then later the thing hopefully flips and then your weight is here and you're doing that and you say I ought to stop meditating and do the dishes right get that I mean that's the flip over okay I am now in Pennsylvania on my way to India I am a very crummy motel I'm gonna watch the Senate Judiciary House committee hearings you remember those Sam Ervin's follies and there's a thunderstorm and the electricity goes on so I am forced to meditate it's too early to go to sleep it's too dark to read it's right by a major highway I can't walk so I got a sit so I might as well meditate I started meditating and who should appear in my room but Maharaj a very clear and he says to me in whatever language you talk in those visions you know in your dreams even though he may be talking Hindi and you only understand English everybody understands each other perfectly it's that one it's it's the language who well he wants he says to me you don't have to go to India your teachings will be right here and then he disappeared the vision is so solid and I'm now by now trusting enough of it that I think okay I won't go to India so I decided to go up to New Hampshire where I have a cabin and my father's farm and I'll go into the woods in the cabin and I'll just hang out until it all becomes clear so I'm passing through New York City I go to a chiropractor friend of mine figure I'll get aligned on the way through have to keep showing you I'm real don't get angry it's all Lila and there is a nice spiritual lady in New York who I have been friends with for many years so I call her up she has she's a she teaches she has group meetings in New York and she has many she works on many planes mainly astral planes and she has the unlikely hit name of Hilde so I called up to say hello Hilde how are you and she says all Rahm does I'm so glad you called there is somebody who must meet and I said well Hilde I really want to meet anybody I'm on the way to New Hampshire I'm gonna sit in the cabin she says you've got to meet this person I said Hilde look I don't want to meet anybody I've had enough people at Naropa I really want to just go to my cabin nice talking to you and I finished the alignment and I go over to visit some friends for a few hours before I head for New Hampshire and I'm sitting there and in walks Hilde she says I've come over here because I heard you were here and you've just got to meet this woman Hilda's in her sixties I said Hilde there I don't want to meet anybody she says wait let me just call her up so she calls around the phone and she talks and she says Rhonda she says you should come over because your guru was sitting in her basement well though I knew all about spiritual materialism she had me so the next day I went over to Brooklyn was brought into a very middle-class house right next to a lot of other houses just like it brought down into a basement with a television and linoleum and a very kind of garishly decorated and there is sitting this woman long long long false eyelashes heavy mascara and eye shade shadow low dress she looks like Gina Lollobrigida and never on Sunday that quality long dark hair down her waist very attractive but peculiar because she is sitting there in Samadhi but like man really in Samadhi I mean I have a chance cuz Hilda says go ahead and test if you'd like dear see they're playing with me go ahead dear so I'm doing my whole routine you go to push her and it's like a stone it's like a marvel statute there's no life in it at all so I look pulse no pulse no heartbeat you go under the with a mirror no breath nothing you know eyes rolled back very weird I mean you know of all the models you have of what spiritual teachers are gonna be like you know you expect an old man in a blanket and hamana is but what is a woman light with you know in Brooklyn I think it's too unreasonable you know and she comes finally Hildur touches a brooch that has a mantra in it on her chest and the she finally slowly comes back down to earth plane she opens her eyes her eyes roll back down she opens them and she loosens up and she looks at me and she says I'm sorry about this language but I've just got to be straight and I know it's a church but this is all concerned with God at some level she looks at me and she says what the do you want now of all the holy books I've read so I said so Hilda said this is Rhonda's dear she says I don't give a damn who he is she says does that fat man belong to you get him out of here and I look over and there is a blanket with nothing on it so I said well I don't know whether that particular fat man belongs to me or not because I can't see him and at that point she starts to go up and she goes into a very sort of light trance and Maharaji starts to talk to me through her and he talks to me about total trivia in India like he talks to me about where they kept the rice in the temple something that I would never talk about in America that this woman would have no way of knowing about it Hilda didn't know about that nobody you know it's just that or a little detail of a thing where Assad dude was thrown out of the temple and I protested and what I said and who walked around the corner of the courtyard he's telling me all this stuff there's no doubt at all that's who it is not even a possibility that it's it's being hyped because there's just no way you know okay he's got me he said you receive your teachings in America so I visit with her for a few days and then I go up to know how I'm sure and she starts to telephone me every day for maybe three or four hours a day these telephone calls are very extraordinary because on the physical plane is this 10th grade educated Brooklyn woman with you know very crude tough Strait Brooklynese but as she changes levels of consciousness her language keeps changing and there are hours on the phone when out is pouring poetry that is so breathtakingly beautiful that I've never read anything like it on the human plane because it's too precious to exist it's like you can't stand it you can't catch your breath it's too beautiful just hours of it pouring out pouring out all in beautiful complex rhyming structure and she's starting to give me teachings these teachings are being are she is reading from a blackboard that is being written on by Jethro that's Moses father-in-law that push you a bit out of shape let's see I've lost about half of you by now so you say I would come on now baby would I mean I'm in the same position you are you know except it's happening to me that was in August and I visit her again in September and again in October for a few days each time December 9th I moved to New York she put me into a place to live and I just surrendered my life to her she was my teacher if there was one thing Maharaja said to me in the temples in India over and over again he said Ram Dass watch out for women and gold and I'd be in the back of the temple and they say Maharaja wants to see you when I go running up and I come before me say around us tension company women go I'd say yes Maharaja Jojo go away dude this five or six times a day it seemed bizarre to me I mean it just didn't seem relevant man Here I am now at the feet of this woman long long these plastic fingernails dark red you know heavy eyelashes gold bracelets gold rings big thick ring Tahoe and we are spending all of our time trying to keep her on the physical plane she's in a traditional Italian family so her husband expects she's going to take care of the house so you get these calls see she says I got it I'm washing the floor I think I'm doing it all right but she says there's this guy standing in the kitchen he's got eight arms can I ask him to help me right what would it be an insult see it's like you got understand how complicated this is see kiss me she's new at the game see and because how it happened to her is very bizarre this is only a few months into her scenes she's not a yogi from the homologous in this lifetime she's a Jewish girl married to an Italian truck driver she's got three kids and a Cadillac they've made it big right and it's a tough scene and she's a tough woman and she has always been like a little like never on Sunday that kind of purity quality that kind of innocence that's tough innocence you know what I'm talking about the kind of innocence innocence that is you see not in the same personality structure but the kind of innocence you touch in something like Billy Budd or in James Dean in East of Eden or you know that kind of you know quality I'm talking about Kenai it's like childlike innocence but it's in an adult neurotic pattern okay but it's always doing so she's overweight and she decides to go to a diving Scylla an eptas jack lalanne diving Scylla which was her turns out to be her yogic teacher's boy they say to her there's a breath that'll get you thin if you breathe in one nostril and out the other and keep doing it you'll get thin she is a woman of great excesses right he did tell her to do it for ten minutes she waits until her husband goes to sleep she's made love to him then she goes into the bathroom gets into the bathtub and starts to do this breath for five hours she wants to get thin like that after several days of this suddenly Christ appears in her bathroom she says look what are you doing here I'm a Jew but he is very incredibly beautiful and she experiences so much bliss that all day long she can only think of how to get back to that bathtub to do this breath in the hopes he'll come again okay you all know what that feeling is like so all day long she's housewife goes to bed makes love to her husband which they've done every day since she was 15 when they got married you know and then runs into the bathtub as soon as the first snore starts gets into the bathtub starts doing the breath and waiting for Christ to come he comes twice and he says I'm only gonna come one more time comes a third time and there's a lot of other side stories which I'm sure will in in time come out but I'm not going to tell them now because it's I'd like to keep some something I don't know what are you tired yet no just long as I don't do rush I don't get tired I mean if I have to seduce you I get tired but if I don't it's just like a ball bearing wheel it just keeps going because I'm just reflecting with you about all the stuff I don't understand most I mean this isn't there's not an object lesson here as I told you these so she keeps meditating and suddenly one night there is this fat man sitting on her toilet seat as she describes him he's sitting there with his tomatoes hanging out this is my teacher it could only happen in America and he won't talk to her and she's freaked because he's sitting there and she grabs a towel and puts it over herself she's sitting naked in the bathroom and after that every night she goes into the bathtub taking a bath with a nightgown on and her husband who controls the whole scene totally you know Italian Sicilian you know she's got to sneak the bath a nightgown into the washing machine quick cuz if he found a wet nightgown she'd have to explain and you know and night after night this fat man comes in all he'll do was go sitting there and she finally says look if you don't start talking I'm gonna throw you out I'm gonna tell my husband jigs up so he starts to teach her and he's really tough he hits her in the belly when she sits like this and he's teaching her all kinds of stuff she has no idea who he is she's got a girlfriend who's into yoga she's talking to her girlfriend about it mm-hmm her girlfriend says there's somebody downtown in New York who might know so she goes and she tells about the description of this guy and they say oh yeah that's Swami Nityananda he was Swami Muktananda guru and he was also the Guru of this woman hilda and he died in about 1964 and Swami Nicky Anand it was a very far out guy by the way he was the guy does that lovely story I love to tell about him he used to have roads made around between poor villages and he'd say to the workmen when they were going home he'd say on your way home pick up any rock and under the rock will be your two rupees not any other rock just whichever rock you pick up first right so they go home and they all trusted him because in India see people believe in all this because miracle is a part of the fabric of life not like it is here so they just pick up a rock near their home and there'd be the two rupees and they'd take it home see but the problem was that these were all new rupee notes so one day the police lieutenant I guess and his sergeant arrived this police inspector I guess and he said Baba gee I'm sorry to bother you but he said there's some confusion in our minds about these rupee notes because they're all brand-new rupee notes and we don't know where they're coming from and he says oh I can understand your confusion I'll show you come I'll show you where they're coming from so he leads the inspector in his sergeant into the jungle deeper and deeper into the jungle and they come to a pond in which there are alligators rocks in the pond and he calls an alligator alligator comes over he opens the alligator's mouth and he reaches in stats to pullout rupee notes and the inspector freaks in the sergeant freaks and they all run away that's the kind of guy he was a merry prankster so she goes to see Hilda and she sits down and she comes into Hilda and hilde has been this nice spiritual lady who's lived in India for 18 years and this gal Joya calls Hilda and she says I don't even know how to talk to a holy lady and she comes over to see her and she goes in to see Hilda and Hilda just touches her and Joey goes into Samadhi for the first time okay so that's the beginning of it and that's only about three months before I meet her and what's happening is she's going up into these high states if you've read any of edgar cayce stuff you know how he'd go into these other planes and all this stuff would come out of him and then he come back into the physical plane and he didn't know what had happened and there's this discontinuity between planes of consciousness and that was what was happening she'd go up into these planes and then she'd come back down and she didn't know what had happened so she didn't get any benefit from it on this plane you understand but we would get this incredible benefit from all his stuff that would pour out of her from these other planes of consciousness so her the only way her husband would allow her to even have a candle or a holy picture was in the bathroom so the bathroom got so that you couldn't find a space on the wall that didn't have holy pictures and there were candles and the kids were freaking the fifteen year old boy hey ma how can I bring my friends here what kind of a weird scene is this you know and she was having very bad trouble keeping contact on the physical planet like I'd be on the phone she said I'm cooking dinner and I'd hear a strange sound over the phone and I'd say well what are you cooking she'd say just a minute I see she'd be blind this is very weird she's most the time she was outside of the physical plane so she was seeing only through her third eye not through these two eyes so she'd be blind on this level and it was very weird because she could I'd be sitting with her she'd be driving on the Parkway in New York like 70 miles an hour in her Cadillac with her eyes closed she's watching it with her third eye from over the car right I'm pushing yeah I know but I figure I had to go with you it's too heavy go home it's okay so I said there's a funny sound what is it she says well I'm cooking she said just him it I'll tap my forehead and see tap surf when she says I'm cooking meat I said that's a good thing to be doing yeah I said well let's see still sounds strange I said do you have a pan where are you cooking it in the oven she says no on the stove I said that's good I said is there a pan just a minute oh it was like she couldn't quite she almost get it together but not quite you see it'll just be that little thing she just forgot the pan everything else was together so her husband would sit down to dinner where the table was set and she put on like one piece of bread because she couldn't quite get it together you know or she'd order seven roast beefs you know she couldn't she just was losing he was losing her ground she had lost all her sensitivity she couldn't feel anything on this plane at all she never felt where she walked she could burn herself and have no feeling she was almost like anesthetized in this plane and was going in every night now she finally she got a little closet downstairs that was made over that she was allowed to be in and she'd lock herself in there at night and she would go into Samadhi every night and then at 5:00 she set the that internal alarm clock we all have and you've all used and she'd then come out of it at like five 23 get up quick go up get into bed with her husband so at 5:30 he wake up thinking she had been in bed all night and then she'd be a housewife as well as she could with all us holding on to her with a telephone saying come down come down wherever you are and her tapping her head and you know the husband would leave for work at five minutes of 7:00 and at 7:00 we come in they that'd be yoga teaching housecleaning everything going on for about five hours at 1:00 o'clock when he comes home at 2:00 minutes of one we'd all scurry out of the house and the husband would drive up and the house would be clean and the food would all be cooked and we'd have heard down enough to walk out and say hello dear and just like this went on there were a few slips in the game see I mean he'd take her to the dentist and she goes stiff in the dentist chair or she got the stigmata on Good Friday and she had to wear a bandana cuz there was a dinner party and it's like I mean you're hearing all these bizarre juxtapositions of things where such a being you would usually say wow you know and here it is that hey MA where's my underwear you know and I'm coming you know come on down because she had just been talking as Socrates had been giving me teachings right hey ma you know and there's go Socrates and what is it what's happening your son is calling you you've got to come down he wants his underwear now come down we're all by this time totally since we can't be around the house the hours when her husband's home we're all on earphones at our houses see we've had the telephone company put in air phones because were you sitting there like seven eight hours a day because her whole connection till reality of these telephones so my life is getting very peculiar because I have to get up every morning at 5:00 to be at her house at 7:00 and the last telephone call usually ends as she goes into Samadhi at 2:00 in the morning okay so I'm functioning like four eight months on three hours sleep tonight all day going like this get there at seven teachings all morning in which she's taking me up into higher and higher states into Samadhi states then I'm in a Samadhi state you know and I'm just getting stiff and I'm out and I'm in this incredible plane of consciousness and she says somebody comes and says quick her husband's coming and it's yeah that's really that's more worse than how much money to Stephan make you know because you've gotta get down get up get out get into your car and remember it's a car I mean first of all start the engine and drive away and this you've got to understand that you've got a choice of either deciding the whole scene is totally out of control and totally insane or this is the essence of tantric teaching you understand these the choice because if it's the essence of tantric teaching you're being forced to keep it together you're being forced to go up and down and keep the planes and you're not being allowed and you constantly and as far as some moments I'm thinking the husband and the kids don't really exist they're all astral shades and the whole thing has been created as a teaching right right and this is all Maharaj's dance and there isn't any such scene and I'm sure if I drove by here in an off day that house probably there's probably a lot an empty lot it's too unrealistic from where I'm sitting [Music] you you

Channel: Soundings Mindful Media

Views: 198,237

Rating: 4.9010987 out of 5

Keywords: Ram Dass, Be Here Now, Dean Evenson, Early video, Baba Ram Dass, Dr. Richard Albert, Dudley Evenson, Soundings, Mindful, Media, Aspen, Public Access TV, Ram Dass death, Meditation, Maharaj-ji, Neem Karoli Baba, Eastern, Spirituality, Psychology, Guru, New Age, Soundings Mindful Media

Id: gWAZFuz_mFc

Length: 66min 7sec (3967 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 29 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/bmacbmacbmacbmacbmac]

Ah. Looking into those eyes and hearing that voice is like bathing the most refreshing waters imaginable. Thank you for sharing :)

[u/senator_chill]

Just finished this gem and was going to share it but glad to find out someone already did! I haven't really seen much footage of him so I loved being able to see how he acts and does hand gestures and all that! It seemed like the cameraman just learned about the zoom feature though with all those random zooms lol