Asmongold Plays Dark Souls 3 For the FIRST TIME EVER

it is time to ascend the literal God of Dark Souls 1 me I've beaten Dark Souls 1 it was easy we return once again to Dark Souls 3 people said this game was harder it won't be it's gonna be easy [ __ ] god I [ __ ] hate this game man I mean I it's a treasure goblin the pilgrims discover the truth of the old words this looks really good oh he's dead [Music] ference undead legion I've heard of them [Music] and they reclusive that's a big boy that's a big boy Wow [Applause] [Music] I understand the people in chat are probably going to spam me with advice I'm not going to read any of it so if we want to go with this one okay guys I feel personally attacked this is a personal attack on me right here I did says what the [ __ ] man all right you know what okay I've got that oh wow okay the friary haircut we've got that mom it's just a phase here except for I'm 25 now that's I like to play with the boys I'm a real boy too but it's actually a girl here female fryer Stacy Amanda Jenny Kelly Daenerys Targaryen Margaery alright alright boys we're gonna have to go with we are gonna make this a little bit more realistic that's what I'm gonna go ahead and go with right there okay I look great okay it matches my hairstyle very well roxtor just not [ __ ] easy boys gonna be a no hit run all right that's what I do that's what I do that's what I do let's go this way turn back alright yo let's do it you ready what the [ __ ] I can't [ __ ] move okay all right here no no whoa okay how many roles can I do call me Sonic the [ __ ] Hedgehog [ __ ] okay come on what he's gonna roll yes [ __ ] [ __ ] okay let's see this guy blew this guy this guy this guy what's he doing stupid what an idiot see this dick-sucker right here surprise okay well wait I want the sword what what Oh what how did I know he was gonna go into that mode let's go bro he has combos I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do like I can't even tell what he's gonna hit me with I was breathing we're good we're good oh hey well I wanted that Lou what's this what up bro [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] got him got him okay all right no more hits no more hits well how does he do it twice all right all right I beat him to stuff that's not video now I know what he's gonna do let me try this again Wow the [ __ ] [ __ ] what what I backed myself into a corner [Applause] something [ __ ] dick so I beat him it's not a big deal invisible wall invisible wall invisible wall making incredible progress all right what's this here try jumping oh wait there's no way I there's got to be a way that I get that one okay all right one more okay all right one more that's a really good sword up there I know it this is a boss yep I feel like I feel like I'm making a mistake hitting the dragon here maybe I'm not can we go up to the top here what the [ __ ] is known I couldn't heal your [ __ ] [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is this okay quiet you won't hear us No I can't get it oh yeah honestly that dragons so loud that's why I die this cuz he's so loud what's up [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what [ __ ] oh come here come here yes nice nice nice what what hey look what a wall why no no no no no I take him again I take him again come through the fire alright yo [ __ ] [ __ ] this [ __ ] what can't beat this guy there's no way I mean like okay what the [ __ ] is going on what I'm a beatable I'm a beatable [ __ ] [ __ ] walls man how do they work no way man there's no [ __ ] way I can barely even hit this guy like this is there's no way there's this is there's no way I mean I I can't do it I'm not gonna try and fight them okay wait read message what's it say okay I'm about to hand this guy [Music] what because he just wasn't doing anything he's just sitting there he's just [ __ ] city's doing nothing and then surprise you're [ __ ] dead that was such horseshit dude I can't see anything right okay you knew I was gonna be there I can't attack man okay all right I can't take another hit no more hits jesus H Christ so this is the same as the first boss like I think he went into like a Phase two there okay so here's what we're gonna do this time I'm going to do a better job at avoiding I'm not going to get hit by the boss that's basically the two main things I want to focus on beyond that I think everything else is gonna be fine I need to stop I need to stop him oh my god Vickers stay down you just left it there I'm rolling like a [ __ ] man like there's no way I would have made that mistake if I wasn't targeting him I'm not gonna target any more bosses I'm done targeting bars I look at him on the screen I know where my attacks need to be I hate this [ __ ] ballsack that's my ball sack now oh my heel I feel nice he'll did I didn't know if he was gonna do the thing how am I supposed to know he's gonna do the thing until he doesn't camera went black yeah it's out it's been out the whole time if I don't beat them here I'm gonna read my items okay come on [ __ ] you got to go big dick on this guy hike duty I did the same exact thing I did last time it didn't work okay so I tied him towards the middle what what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] oh he got you he got you did I might have to take off my headphones for this okay look you can't [ __ ] you can't just stay there and get greedy here this is gonna be a rough pie for you honestly dude like you really shouldn't feel too bad because this is one of the this is one of the harder bosses ps3 I have like this bar that says I'm like frostbitten like what does that even mean I have no idea oh [ __ ] he's doing it jack Wow you and your cam die [Music] I'm gonna get them right here right here right here dude right here dude why are you so greedy like you just agree [ __ ] it's a faster I'd kill him that fast right in the fight if I end the fight earlier then there's less time for him to attack plate are you [ __ ] this is it this is [ __ ] it all right focusing sure I'm not doing enough damage man that's the [ __ ] problem what are you you're about to kill him yes yes go goddamn boys holy [ __ ] how do you feel good how do you feel about that there it is there's his dick right there it's in my mouth let's go he's dead where's my loot no loot [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] game alright let's do it again what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] why does he just die okay there we go McConnell how do I beat the blue guy I don't know like how do i attack I've tried yeah I tried that you should attack him dude try tongue butthole moves a little oh that was [ __ ] [ __ ] I got it I got it Wow nice job thank you thick so that is me right there as you can see clearly that is me too that you your princess is in another castle so this console head to the base of the high wall and see swords of cinder now if you use your brain and you think about what is a wall mean this is what a wall is look at all those birds look at them all thinking how many birds are there's probably like a this bike a dozen of them I'm not using the Ember that's a crutch for bad gotta do it you gotta do it it's a crutch for bad players am i a bad player yes how could I be a bad player if I killed board all right so wait I get from this guy where's my loot this fat floppy sack of [ __ ] didn't even give me anything enemy [ __ ] let me get this oh what what whoa black boys do it again do it again do it again do it again I [ __ ] get your ass come on what the [ __ ] I just beat him dude it was easy you only hit me once and that was a bug wow I'm so good this is insane how good I am I've had a lot of practice killing rats yo dude can you believe I killed that rat so fast didn't it's like one of the easiest enemies in the game it's why I beat them dude is so easy do whoa [Music] is there a bonfire soon because I want to make sure that I don't die [ __ ] he saw me how the [ __ ] it sure has am I supposed to beat him [ __ ] god I [ __ ] hate this game man nice rolls by the way barked at me again see what happens no should have waited wait what do you mean well it's too late now what the [ __ ] was that there you go there you go there you go get him get his ass get his ass there there it is get his ass get his ass you got him get his ass sir hold it okay so we've got Snorlax over there we're just gonna ignore him and go back and do the rest of this you want to see something you'll take some notes Thanks what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] this is even a pause this is a regular mob dude shut the [ __ ] up dude I'm not going left he's going left points he's going left we got him we got him boys what are you doing I'm gonna [ __ ] kill him dude what do you think I'm doing no you that's not what we agreed to I'm changing the agreement I'm gonna kill him right here liar Wow [Applause] that's the way you play the game right there boys just go in there watch watch this dog [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] dog get up get off of my house get get get up get up man come on Jesus man [ __ ] I'm gonna die again [Music] [ __ ] here we go what do i do how do I beat the boss I can't okay alright okay so okay [ __ ] goddamn it that's the day but he has so much help Oh we brew at that okay [Music] [ __ ] there it is I told you I could do it holy [ __ ] that was [ __ ] hard [Music] [Music]

Channel: Best of Asmongold

Views: 201,746

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Id: xKMZqQG3ynM

Length: 28min 48sec (1728 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 02 2019