Ask This Question When You Run Out Of Things To Say

we've all been stuck in an awkward conversation that feels forced or boring you want the person to like you but you have no idea what to say so in today's video we'll go over five habits that instantly make conversation more fun and help you connect with anyone one great Habit to make people love talking to you is to set a playful tone early in the interaction for example Jordan Peterson is often a serious person uh Joel great to have you back on the program well thanks Paris it's good to see you again now watch how different Jordan is when someone starts the conversation playfully without reading this so what you're saying is that's what I was like there's only 12 things you need to know in life right that's it you know I grew up on wild meat my dad Hans he still hunts he's 82. you know he's slowing down a little bit obviously because he's getting old but yeah he's using a gun now instead of a knife but he doesn't just jump on the animals you'll see this all the time when meeting someone or catching up with an acquaintance people want to have fun funny conversations they just aren't sure how so if you can seamlessly make the conversation playful they'll love you for it here's another example with Jimmy Fallon and Chris Evans discussing the Captain America sequel notice one joke from Jimmy instantly changes the energy we tried to evolve his his fight style and so we tried to do a little bit more uh gymnastics and yeah flipping around and that's right flipping around balance beans oh I had a whole ribbon Routier if you don't already do this naturally it can be helpful to have a mental cue for it a trigger to think to yourself oh this is a chance to make this more fun so here's an easy way to learn this habit when someone asks you a question answer with a joke can you spell dormammu for me d-o-r-m-a-m if you want a specific joke you can use when answering questions there's two you can steal from this video first take your real answer and exaggerate so much it's impossible to take you seriously here's a quick example where Jimmy Fallon just told Tom Cruise that he's getting into ice skating so are you up early ice skating rink I'm up early every day I skate at least four times a day and then yeah yeah at least four times skate to work I got rollerblades and that's good yes my new thing it really is that easy you can also take what people expect you to say and say the opposite like in this next clip how is your summer going so far it was uh too much time with my family again super easy to do now you don't want to do this all the time where people think you're avoiding their questions you want to give a mix of genuine answers and playful answers a good tip is to answer someone's first small talk question playfully and at least 25 percent of the small talk questions after that another easy way to set a positive tone early in the conversation is to give a genuine friendly compliment it's very you look Sensational me I say if you're worried that a compliment will feel awkward you can follow it up with a joke to diffuse the tension for example here's Craig Ferguson getting that same compliment to Keanu Reeves for context in his monologue that night he mentioned being sick and a little loopy from cold medicine I'm talking I'm Tim there are three common mistakes people make when complimenting someone making the compliment too sexual making a compliment you don't mean which makes you seem manipulative and dwelling on the compliment a compliment is great to give but especially with people of High status who hear compliments all the time you want to transition off of it fairly quickly a great way to make someone feel good and transition into conversation is with a compliment plus a cold read so you compliment them and then transition to a guess about the person it looks something like this but dude you got jacked you went from being skinny to shredded yeah yeah you're pretty serious about MMA training man it's really just about like the lifestyle you know I mean you're a martial artist so you know and just like that they've skipped small talk and are off into a conversation about MMA now even with perfect delivery it can get boring and predictable if all you do is compliment someone so a great habit is to mix compliments with funny teasing for example watch how Conan bounces between teases and compliments with his assistant Sona at different parts of their conversation this took the strangest turn I you went from being the Pepe America sweetheart to being this Nosferatu of Doom all right I love you love your great friend you're a great assistant this doesn't mean you have to undercut every compliment with a tease sometimes you can just let a compliment sit playful jokes positivity compliments and funny teases will all help you make a great first impression you'll have people smiling and laughing and enjoying being around you now what can you do if you want to connect more deeply with people one way is to share your imperfections without shame many people think sharing your flaws will make people dislike you but often the opposite is true people like you more when you share imperfections because it makes them feel comfortable with their own after all nobody's perfect and everybody has flaws and it shows confidence that you're willing to share something most people would try to hide here's a great example of Jim Carrey at an actor's Roundtable complete this sentence I act because I act because I'm broken in a lot of pieces and acting gives me a chance to reconfigure those pieces into a thousand different things that are positive for people who watch he's very matter-of-fact with his tone he's not sharing this for sympathy it's just his truth even if someone doesn't feel the same way they'll respect your honesty and your confidence in Sharing remarkably truthful yes yeah wow we're all broken let's face it yeah this doesn't always have to be something heavy for a lighter example listen to Charles Barkley talk about his broken golf swing I have no idea how it started and I can't help it I've tried everything got hypnotized you're not kidding I'm not I want to see a hypnosis all I got was a good nap now so far we focused on what you say in conversation but you can also make people love talking to you by asking good questions that set them up well specifically ask open-ended questions questions with one word answers can make it difficult for the other person to contribute especially if they're on the Shire side our youngest player here at 17 years old is that correct yes still a high school student yeah I'm grade 12 right now perfect perfect unfortunately this is how most people have conversations where are you from do you like it there a series of questions with one word answers that Force the other person to do the work to make the conversation interesting by contrast open-ended questions naturally lead the other person to share more why Utah man why you live in Utah what's that about why is a fantastic open-ended question to ask because it gets the other person talking about what motivates them and what they value this will naturally lead to a more interesting conversation the best open-ended questions are questions the person will be excited to answer for example if someone shares a dream they have for their future ask them why they want it why do you want to tell a great story once they're talking you can deepen your connection by being a likable listener let's go through two easy ways you can do that the first is to mirror them by repeating their words here's a quick example with Pharrell and Oprah talking about his song happy we put out the video on November 21st all of a sudden boom boom I mean when I say boom you mean boom yeah Oprah does this all the time it's one of the reasons her guests love her and feel a connection with her so quickly it's the part of you that feels um that is drawn to Hope that's one way to understand Spirit the part of you that is drawn to Hope mirroring someone shows them that you're tuned in and interested in what they're saying it makes them feel hurt if this feels too on the nose for you and you don't want to repeat someone's exact words that's okay repeating back the sentiment they're sharing works just as well at building a connection you know this need for people's approval that would send me through the roof that would make me a high achiever you understand what I mean like you will you get what you need to go yeah I mean that's where the success comes from the second habit of a likable listener is to laugh generously just watch Matthew Perry's reaction in this next clip when Craig starts laughing I want to come up with different words for things that's what I think I'm going to do oh no no [Laughter] [Applause] here's another example with Brad Pitt Adam Sandler discussing Adam's colonoscopy scene from uncut gems Brad isn't trying to make a joke but Adam finds it funny and laughs watch how that brightens Brad's mood they say it's in the script I do it now uh no it was convincing because you looked at you had this kind of yeah I did I did no I know I know that's hard to pull up I was in a weird position yeah yeah yeah I can't compromise it was compromising this is tough because you can't fake it or it will make people dislike you so the best thing you can do is try to find people you genuinely enjoy being around who energize you rather than drain you if you're meeting new people and don't know yet if you like them then focus on making the conversation fun for yourself talk about things you enjoy make jokes that you find funny and let that filter people in or out of your life now there's a lot going on in this video and you may be wondering how the heck do you actually remember all this when you're out meeting people especially if you're speaking with someone who makes you nervous it's hard to remember to put all this into practice that's why we put together our program Charisma University it's a step-by-step 30-day program that tells you exactly what to do every day to take what you're learning and turn it into unthinking habit so by the end of the program you radiate confidence and Charisma naturally without even thinking about it rather than tell you about the program myself here are a few things that past members have said I had confidence in some areas but not in others then Crismon University changed that for me since beginning the program I have seen noticeable changes in my life it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it another member wrote in I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one-on-one in conversations I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my own head overthinking things after CU I am now way more confident in saying what I think I feel much happier all the time I was even able to talk to a woman I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression overall I love this course and I keep going back to it when I need a refresher on The Daily action modules and lastly one member writes thank you so much for this program after going through Charisma I've made more friends have higher self-esteem and can more easily talk to people I don't know I've solidified my values and I know who I am the program is literally guaranteed to change your life that means you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program if you want to see if Cruise University is right for you click the link on screen now or in the description below either way I hope you enjoyed this video I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and I hope to see you in the next one

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 2,391,081

Keywords: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, small talk, charisma on command small talk, charisma on command conversation, craig ferguson, joe rogan, jordan peterson, charisma on comm, how to make small talk, how to keep a conversation going, small talk tips, how to never run out of things to say, how to talk to anyone, conversation starters, how to never run out of things to say - keep a conversation flowing

Id: uodNrln4WTI

Length: 10min 16sec (616 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 28 2022