Yes, I’ll see you at three thirty then. OK. Cheers! I just love your accent. This video was inspired by a great comment
we had from a viewer called Toure Malone. Have I said his name right? I don’t know. Toure, tell us if we got that wrong. Here’s what he said. Americans are notorious for saying “Oh my
god I love your accent”. 'I’m one of them!', he wrote. Does it irritate you? ‘We can’t help it. British accents are divine’
We’d better explain what notorious means. It’s similar to famous, but it’s when
you’re famous for something bad. Yeah. A notorious criminal. A notorious computer hacker. And he says British accents are divine - so
wonderful, beautiful. He’s right. You think my accent’s divine too? No, I mean it’s true that Americans often
say this to you. Are you irritated by it? Not now because I’m used to it. I like it now, but at first I felt uncomfortable. It was awkward. Why? I didn’t know how to respond. OK. See you soon. Bye. I just love your accent. Well everyone speaks like this where I come
from. That’s terrible! It’s like you’re calling him an idiot. I know. I should be nicer. OK. See you soon. Cheers. I just love your accent. And I just love your… dental work. That’s terrible too! What’s your problem? It’s less common to give compliments to
strangers in the UK. We have a different way of being polite. What do you mean? Well, there are two sides to politeness – two
parts. One part is about being inclusive and warm
and friendly and agreeable. Like me. Yeah. I’m American and we’re famous for being
friendly. But the other part of politeness is about
being leaving people alone. That’s polite? Yes, so you don’t interfere. You let them do whatever they want and you
don’t disturb them. You don’t intrude. You don’t want to be intrusive. Uhuh. Not intruding is polite too. Well that makes sense. Both these sides of politeness are important
in all cultures, but people give them different weight, different importance, in different
parts of the world. Let me guess. In America being warm and friendly is more
important. Yes. It’s important everywhere, but it’s very
important in the US. And in the UK, we think it’s important to
stand back and leave people alone a bit more. We can do that too. But this is about different weightings. Exactly. If you think about the stereotypes of British
people and Americans, it’s sort of connected. Hi, I’m British and I’m rather reserved. If we meet somewhere like a railway carriage,
I probably won’t talk to you. I think it’s polite to leave people alone
so they can go about their business without me getting in their way. Hi! I’m American and I’m super friendly. When we meet for the first time, I’m going
to tell you my entire life story in the first five minutes. I’m polite so I won’t hold back. I’m going to share and be open. Those are stereotypes. They’re not real. But when you think about the two sides of
politeness, you can see where they come from. You know, sometimes my students ask if American
friendliness is fake. So not real? Yeah, is it fake? No! After living here a long time, I don’t think
it’s fake either. It’s just the politeness style – it emphasizes
friendliness. Ok, so let’s go back to Toure’s example. When we say ‘I love your accent’, we’re
being friendly. What’s wrong with that? Well it’s also intrusive because it means
you’re judging me. But I said something nice. Yeah, but what right have you got to judge
me? That’s such a funny way of looking at it. And there’s another problem. If you say something nice to me, then I might
feel that I have to repay you and say something nice back. Oh, so it sounds like I’m fishing for compliments. It’s a possibility. Why can’t you just say thank you? Ah. If I accept the compliment and then you might
think that I’m big headed. Big headed is a British expression. It means you think you’re more intelligent
or more important than you really are. You don’t want people to think you're conceited. Exactly. You want them to think you’re modest. That’s when you don’t talk about your
achievements. Being big headed is bad. Being modest is good. And that's it. Thank you everybody. Wow. I just loved your presentation. It was awesome. Thank you. Erm... I made some mistakes. It was really good. I forgot some things. I didn’t notice. You were terrific. Thanks Erm. I really should have practiced more. But…. but it was interesting. No, no. No, really! Wow, that was awkward. It felt like YOU were fishing for compliments. I know. I was just trying to be modest and you wouldn’t
let me. Well, you kept criticizing yourself so you
forced me to say something nice. When I first came to the US, I had conversations
like that. It was really embarrassing. The Americans were embarrassed. I was embarrassed. But it’s not a problem now. Errr. Not so much. I’ve learnt to be careful not to criticize
myself. She’s very modest. No. It’s not that we’re really more modest
in the UK. It’s just more important for us to behave
as if we’re modest. It’s a different style of politeness. Exactly. And I’m wondering, what politeness is like
in YOUR culture. Is it more like the US or the UK? Write and tell us in the comments. That'll be very interesting. And if you’ve enjoyed this video, please
share it with a friend. See you all next week everyone. Bye. Bye-bye.
