America's Gun Culture Is Melting Down

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WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE "LATE SHOW." I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) YOU CAN FEEL IT. I'M GLAD YOU GUYS HAVE GOT THE ENERGY BECAUSE YOU CAN FEEL IT TON STREET TODAY. TOOTH TODAY IS A VERY ROUGH DAY, SO LET'S START OFF WITH SOMETHING FROM THE SMILE FILE. THANKS TO TRUMP'S TRADE WAR WITH CHINA, THE DOW JONES INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE LOST MORE THAN 750 POINTS TODAY. AND THAT WAS THE SMILE FILE. ( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE. ( LAUGHTER ) I'VE BEEN WATCHING THIS SHOW ON HBO-- "CHERNOBYL"-- DON'T TELL ME HOW IT ENDS. ( LAUGHTER ) AND IN THE THING ABOUT THE NUCLEAR REACTOR BLOWING UP, OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN IT, A SCIENTIST OR ENGINEER WILL TELL A POLITICIAN, "HEY, WE'VE GOT A REAL PROBLEM HERE. THE NUCLEAR CORE IS GOING TO MELTDOWN AND KILL EVERYONE."ñ BUT THE POLITICIANS REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT BECAUSE ANY ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF FAILURE THREATENS THEIR POSITION OF POWER, AND THEIR POWER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SAVING LIVES. WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING? WELL -- ( LAUGHTER ) -- I THINK AT THIS POINT IT'S CLEAR THAT AMERICA'S GUN CULTURE IS MELTING DOWN, BUT THE REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS WOULD RATHER MAINTAIN THEIR POWER THAN SAVE LIVES. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THE LATEST EVIDENCE IS THE TWO MASS SHOOTINGS IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS: ONE IN EL PASO, TEXAS, THE OTHER IN DAYTON, OHIO MAKING FOUR MASS SHOOTINGS IN AMERICA LAST WEEK ALONE. 255 IN 2019 SO FAR. NOW, THERE ARE TWO BI-PARTISAN BACKGROUND CHECK BILLS THAT HAVE PASSED THE HOUSE BUT ARE BEING BLOCKED BY SENATE MAJORITY LEADER AND THIS MONTH'S CENTERFOLD OF CORRUPTIONçó MONTHLY -- ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) -- MITCH McCONNELL. ( BOOING ) THAT IS HIS MATING CALL. ( LAUGHTER ) MCONNELL'S HAD THE BILLS SINCE FEBRUARY, BUT WON'T TAKE ANY ACTION. I'M SURE HE HAS HIS REASONS. LIKE THE $1.26 MILLION IN N.R.A. CONTRIBUTIONS. HE HAS RECEIVED. ( BOOING ) YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON HUMAN LIFE, BUT IT DOESN'T STOP MITCH FROM TRYING. ( LAUGHTER ) AFTER EVERY ONE OF THESE TRAGEDIES -- EVERY TIME THIS HAPPENS, EVERYBODY WANTS SENSIBLE GUN LEGISLATION AND NOTHING HAPPENS. MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR "SENSELESS" GUN LEGISLATION. ( LAUGHTER ) MAYBE TURN IN YOUR ASSAULT WEAPON AND IN EXCHANGE WE'LL GIVE YOU A GIANT PORK SAUSAGE. >> OKAY? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) THAT MAKES NO SENSE. THAT IS SENSELESS. ( APPLAUSE ) GIVE ME YOUR GUN, YOU GET A GIANT PORK SAUSAGE. IT'S EVEN MORE FALK THAN YOUR GUN AND IT'S ONLY GOING TO HURT YOU. ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) THIS TIME IT'S NOT JUST GUNS, IT'S ALSO OVERT RACISM. WHEN A REPORTER ASKED EL PASO-NATIVE BETO O'ROURKE IF THERE WAS ANYTHING THE PRESIDENT COULD DO ABOUT THE SHOOTINGS, HE DID NOT HESITATE TO NAME THE RADIOACTIVE CORE OF THIS MELTDOWN. >> IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR MIND THAT THE PRESIDENT CAN DO NOW TO MAKE THIS ANY BETTER? >> WHAT DO YOU THINK? UMM, YOU KNOW THE (BLEEP) HE'S BEEN SAYING. HE'S BEEN CALLING MEXICAN IMMIGRANTS RAPISTS AND CRIMINALS. I DONK) THE PRESS, WHAT THE (BLEEP)? HOLD ON A SECOND.ñ YOU KNOW, IT'S THESE-- IT'S THESE QUESTIONS THAT YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS TO. I MEAN, CONNECT THE DOTS ABOUT WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING IN THIS COUNTRY. HE'S NOT TOLERATING RACISM, HE'S PROMOTING RACISM. HE'S NOT TOLERATING VIOLENCE, HE'S INCITING RACISM AND VIOLENCE IN THIS COUNTRY. SO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF QUESTION THAT IS. >> STEPHEN: WELL SAID. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WELL SAID. REFRESHING CANDOR. REFRESHING CANDOR. IT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD TO OFFER THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEED SHOUTS AND SWEARS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TODAY, TRUMP PUT ON HIS PRESIDENT PANTS AND ADDRESSED THE TRAGEDIES IN EL PASO AND DAYTON-- OR TRIED TO: >> MAY GOD BLESS THE MEMORY OF THOSE WHO PERISHED IN TOLEDO. >> Stephen: OKAY. ALL RIGHT. WRONG CITY, BUT DON'T WORRY, SIR. IT'S NOT LIKE OHIO'S THAT IMPORTANT IN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS. ( LAUGHTER ) JOE BIDEN BETTER HOPE IT'S NOT, BECAUSE LAST NIGHT, HE OFFERED SYMPATHY FOR THE "TRAGIC EVENTS IN HOUSTON AND ALSO IN MICHIGAN." ( AUDIENCE REACTS ) HOLY TOLEDO. ( LAUGHTER ) LATER ON IN HIS ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, TRUMP TOOK A STRONG STAND:ñr >> IN ONE VOICE, OUR NATION MUST CONDEMN RACISM, BIGOTRY, AND WHITE SUPREMACY. >> STEPHEN: I TRY MY BEST EVERY NIGHT, BUT YOU'RE STILL IN OFFICE. ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO -- ( CHEERING ) SO WHO'S TO BLAME FOR THESE SHOOTINGS? TRUMP HAD A, LET'S SAY, THOUGHT: >> WE MUST STOP THE GLORIFICATION OF VIOLENCE IN OUR SOCIETY. THIS INCLUDES THE GRUESOMEE AND GRISLY VIDEO GAMES THAT ARE NOW COMMONPLACE. >> STEPHEN: FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S NO LINK BETWEEN VIDEO GAMES AND SHOOTINGS. EVERY COUNTRY HAS VIDEO GAMES. BUT THESE TRAGEDIES ONLY HAPPEN HERE. SECONDLY, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR TRUMP TRY TO NAME A SINGLE VIDEO GAME. ( LAUGHTER ) (AS TRUMP) "THESE VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES: 'TETRIS-MUNCH,' 'GHOST MARIO,' 'GRAND THEFT PONG.'" ( LAUGHTER ) THEN, IN HIS OWN WAY, TRUMP TRIED TO HEAL A NATION. >> NOW IS THE TIME TO SET DESTRUCTIVE PARTISANSHIP ASIDE, SO DESTRUCTIVE, AND FIND THE COURAGE TO ANSWER HATRED WITH UNITY, DEVOTION, AND LOVE. >> STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP) "YES, WE MUST SET ASIDE PARTISAN BICKERING OVER WHO FIRED UP THE WHITE NATIONALISTS IN OUR COUNTRY, AND COME TOGETHER AS ONE: (SINGING TO "KUMBAYA") ♪ SEND HER BACK, MY LORD SEND HER BACK ♪ SOMEONE'S DIFFERENT, LORD SEND HER BACK ♪ I'M NOT RACIST LORD -- ( APPLAUSE ) NOT EVERYONE WAS HEEDING TRUMP'S CALL TO UNITY. LIKE CORY BOOKER, WHO HEARD TRUMP'S SPEECH AND TEXTED THIS TO HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER, WHO THEN TWEETED IT: "LISTENING TO THE PRESIDENT. SUCH A BULL (BLEEP) SOUP OF INEFFECTIVE WORDS." ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) OKAY,ENING I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. OKAY. I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. SO BETO SWEARS, NOW EVERYONE JUMPS ON THE CURSE WAGON. THE NEXT DEBATE IS GOING TO BE FUN. (AS BOOKER) "Y'KNOW, MR. VICE PRESIDENT, THEY HAVE A SAYING IN MY COMMUNITY: YOU'RE DIPPING YOUR SPOON IN THE BULL (BLEEP) SOUP AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE TASTE OF ASS CROUTONS!" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF ) >> Jon: IS THAT A SAYING? I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE. >> Stephen: TRUMP DEFENDED GUNS ON CAMERA, BUT ON TWITTER, HE WAS MORE OPEN TO COMPROMISE: "REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS MUST COME TOGETHER AND GET STRONG BACKGROUND CHECKS, PERHAPS MARRYING DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT THIS LEGISLATION WITH DESPERATELY NEEDED IMMIGRATION REFORM. WE MUST HAVE SOMETHING GOOD, IF NOT GREAT, COME OUT OF THESE TWO TRAGIC EVENTS!" (AS TRUMP) "AND IF I KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MARRYING, IT IS ALWAYS A TRAGIC EVENT." ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ) BUT LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S DOING -- ( APPLAUSE ) -- LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S TRYING TO DO HERE, GUN CONTROL AND IMMIGRATION REFORM HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEY'RE THE TWO HARDEST THINGS TO DO IN WASHINGTON, SO NATURALLY HE WANTS TO COMBINE THEM. (AS TRUMP) "CONGRESS HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO EAT FIRE OR LEVITATE. ( LAUGHTER ) SO, THEY SHOULD TRY TO DO THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. ( LAUGHTER ) MIGHT MAKE IT EASIER TO LEVITATE WITH FLAMES SHOOTING OUT THEIR BUTTS." ( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP WAS ABLE TO FIND AT LEAST ONE PERSON TO DEFEND HIM, ACTING CHIEF OF STAFF MICK MULVANEY, SEEN HERE EXPLAINING HOW TALL A PILE OF LIES HE'S ABOUT TO SPEW. ( LAUGHTER ) MULVANEY WENT ON THE SUNDAY SHOWS AND HE POINTED OUT THAT GUN VIOLENCE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GUNS. >> WE'VE HAD GUNS IN THIS COUNTRY FOR-- FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. WE HAVEN'T HAD THIS UNTIL RECENTLY AND WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY. >> STEPHEN: OH, I KNOW WHY. IT'S BECAUSE THOSE GUNS WE HAD HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO WERE SLOWER AND LESS POWERFUL. IT'S WHY, DURING THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR, THE BRITISH SOLDIERS VOLUNTEERED TO WEAR BRIGHT RED COATS AND STAND IN A STRAIGHT LINE! (AS COLONIAL BRITISH SOLDIER) "WOULD YOU MIND KILLING US MORE QUICKLY? IT'S NEARLY TEA TIME AND WE HAVE TO DO THIS ALL OVER AGAIN IN THE CRIMEA." ( LAUGHTER ) >> Jon: WOW! >> Stephen: THE CRIMEA! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) MULVANEY'S MAIN ARGUMENT: EVERYONE IS TO BLAME EXCEPT HIS BOSS. >> THIS IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM. THERE'S NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. BUT THEY ARE SICK, SICK PEOPLE. AND THE PRESIDENT KNOWS THAT. AGAIN, JON, I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR TO TRY AND LAY THIS AT THE FEET OF THE PRESIDENT. >> STEPHEN: IT'S TRUE. YOU CAN'T LAY THIS AT THE FEET OF THE PRESIDENT, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE MICK MULVANEY SLEEPS. ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. STAR OF HBO'S "SUCCESSION" BRIAN COX IS HERE, BUT WHEN WE RETURN, ANOTHER TRUMP APPOINTMENT BITESt THE DUST. STICK AROUND. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
Info
Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Views: 3,942,049
Rating: 4.7332087 out of 5
Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous
Id: 8dMgEwQYdog
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 10min 53sec (653 seconds)
Published: Mon Aug 05 2019
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Man he ain’t playing

👍︎︎ 14 👤︎︎ u/Dylan-likes-2-Draw 📅︎︎ Aug 06 2019 🗫︎ replies

S e n s e l e s s

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