All Saints Night church | 19 September 2021

[Music] well hi and welcome to all saints welcome to night church my name is lee i'm one of the ministers here and this is anton hello everyone hope you're having a good night we'd like to welcome you to night church tonight especially if you're new or newish or if you're visiting us tonight we're so delighted that you can join us um yeah it's great that you can come along as we praise god as we pray to god and as we hear from god and if you're here then i i think it's safe to assume that you're not just here because you haven't got anything better to do um there's still plenty of good stuff to do during lockdown um but you're here because you believe um that it's worth it that it's worth praising god that it's worth hearing from god that we actually need this time together as humans we need to hear from our creator and our heavenly father um we have been in the book of one peter for several weeks now um anton what has been a highlight or a standout from the book of one peter for you yeah lots has been great coming out of god's word in this book uh one verse that stands out to me is 2 verse 10 once you are not a people but now you are the people of god once you had not received mercy but now you have received mercy that's just such a wonderful reminder that we don't deserve to be the people of god we don't deserve to have fellowship with with our lord but because of his mercy because of the sacrifice of jesus we can be god's people and we can express that tonight virtually but how great will it be when we can gather together again in person to uh to express that we are god's people together yeah so looking forward to being able to be back here all together and yeah it's it's important to remember that we're not here um or we're not christians because we're worthy because there's something special about us it's because we've been shown mercy and forgiveness where we're all sinful we've all rejected god um amazon's always also been your birthday this week that's been yes yep um can you give us any birthday highlights uh i had well having a um family full of girls which you'll see a little bit later tonight actually uh they went out and they went all out i should say and made cards and presents for me which is lovely and uh katie got me some daniel ricardo merch which was very timely after his his uh formula one win last week yeah nice one good to see that you're wearing it um well speaking of celebrating yeah we are going to be celebrating the lord's supper in a little bit later on so make sure you've got your bread and your grape juice or wine or whatever you need but we're also going to celebrate now by singing singing praises to our great god but before we do that how about i pray so let's pray heavenly father you are a great god you made us you know us and you sent your son to die for us and yeah as we gather tonight to praise you and to hear from you um i pray that we would yeah your spirit would be at work in us that it would stir in us to live such good lives um as we go about our weeks and we pray this in jesus name amen amen [Music] you bring [Music] ever [Music] great are you lords [Music] me [Music] [Music] heart that is [Music] is [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] [Music] holy [Music] will sing [Music] our hearts will sing [Music] is [Music] is [Music] um [Music] foreign [Music] um [Music] well our god is a great god um but thankfully he's also a god who loves to be near us he sent his son to die so he could be with us in relationship and last week we heard about a new segment which we are going to start tonight and it's called walk his way so we're going to be hearing from a few people about how they have been walking with jesus journeying with him in their lives so sit back and watch [Music] good job we got him jasper we got him gonna say anything else um they're going for a walk and jeffy didn't want to stay in the plant but that's okay hello i'm carl and this is jasper and um i've just finished reading to samuel and it's been a really good reminder of david's faithfulness to god and he trusts god and wants to listen to god in the really small things and also the really big things so i've been encouraged by that to try and do that in my own life and so it's just good night church i'm grace and i'm tom and we're just going to be sharing a little bit about how we've been going in lockdown um yes i've been reading luke in my quiet times um yeah so just the classic gospel story [Music] thanks tonight church i'm grace and i'm tom and we're just going to be sharing a little bit about how we've been going in lockdown um yeah so i've been reading luke in my quiet times um yeah so just a classic gospel story um and i being out of routine have been struggling a little bit with my borrower reading um as i'm sure maybe some of you might be as well um but i have been enjoying anton's little snippets in the morning to read along awesome um yeah really been enjoying church and bible study um it is really difficult online but yeah still being able to see um yeah my bible study teams faces and be able to still chat and hang out with the bible study gals has been really good yeah same um shout out to tim and fees bible study it's been it's been so good um seeing everyone each tuesday night um and digging into the word together awesome um yeah i've really been learning that uh through our weakness god is strong um yeah that we really can't do this on our own um yeah that god is still working even in coronavirus um yeah to change people's hearts um yeah and that yeah we can't keep our faith um strong just on our own it's through god yeah um me too throughout this lock town whether you're busy or like me have been had a lot of time i've been learning that yeah it's not us that our our performance that kind of our faith rests on but rather jesus's performance for us um which is a huge encouragement awesome see you next time see ya oh well so good to hear from a few of you guys um and yeah we would love for you to keep sending through your little videos go on a walk with a friend or someone in your family or whoever and yeah let us know how you've been walking with jesus we are going to be celebrating the lord's supper after our check-in break that's coming up so just to i don't know prompt you to get your bread or your wine or your grape juice so that you can join in but before we get into that we'd love you to check in to say hi to let us know who you're watching with you can leave any encouraging comments or prayer requests you can even have a stab at how old anton turned this week whatever you send in we really appreciate it we just love hearing from you so let's check in now [Music] [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] hello everyone i'm at home with my family and we're going to lead you in the lord's supper all right kids does anyone know what the bread reminds us of jesus's body great and does anyone know what the wine reminds us of jesus is blood thanks lara being a christian is all about trusting in jesus and in his death for us so the bread and wine are things we can see and they remind us of what we can't see jesus forgiving us through his death on the cross as we eat and drink we remember that we don't deserve anything from god but he has given us his son jesus to die for us and bring us eternal life and so as we eat the bread of jesus body and drink the wine of jesus blood we remember and are strengthened in our faith that jesus died for us we're going to pray all together now we're going to say that we're going to tell jesus that we have sinned and we're going to ask for his forgiveness so let's pray this prayer together now heavenly father you have loved us with an everlasting love but we have often gone our own way and rejected your will for our lives we are sorry for our sins and turn away from them for the sake of your son who died for us forgive us cleanse us and change us by your holy spirit enable us to live for you and to please you in every way for the glory of our lord jesus christ amen god is slow to anger and full of compassion he forgives all who humbly repent and turn to his son jesus in whom there is no condemnation amen uh well let me remind us all what happened on the night before jesus died jesus took bread and when he had given thanks he broke it and gave it to his disciples saying take and eat this is my body which is given for you do this in remembrance of me after the meal he took the cup and again giving thanks he gave it to his disciples saying drink from this all of you this is my blood of the new covenant which is shed for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me so one you grab a little bit of food and a little bit of liquid we've got some apple juice for us today and we'll eat and drink remembering jesus together are you ready take and eat this remembering that christ died for you and feed on him in your heart by faith with thanksgiving and drink this remembering that christ's blood was shed for you and be thankful let's finish by praying this prayer together heavenly father thank you for sending jesus to die for us thank you for forgiving our sins help us to always trust that you love us and that we are your children through jesus death on the cross amen so great to share the lord's supper with you all we'll see you later thanks for leading us in that um with your family that was lovely and a great reminder of the forgiveness that we have through jesus um antoine we're about to come to the bible reading and you were going to speak from god's word what are we looking at tonight well as we respond to the grace shown to us in jesus that we've just celebrated in the lord's supper the back end of one peter is all about uh how do we live for jesus and uh today we're turning on how uh wives and also husbands are to live for jesus and uh you know that's a controversial teaching in this time of in this day and age and uh some hard things are going to be raised tonight uh particularly around uh domestic and family abuse and uh so but we're gonna see what god has to say and uh see the love of god in it as well [Music] yeah it's a big topic and yeah a heavy topic especially um if you're married and you're struggling in your marriage maybe um yeah experiencing some sort of abuse but maybe just struggling in your marriage um or maybe longing to be married maybe you're not married um yeah i'm gonna pray for us before we come to god's word so let's pray heavenly father um yeah just help us as we as we hear from your word um to know your goodness um yeah and to yeah i guess god it's a hard word and so i pray that we would be able to um yeah reach out um if we are really struggling with it um find support um from church family um and i pray that you would yeah comfort those who um who grieve a lot in their marriage amen amen i also did want to say that we're gonna have a q a after the sermon as well so if you have any questions please be sending them through but if you know just an answering q a is not quite going to cut it for you because of the the deep pain and hurt that it brings up for you around this topic then please reach out to myself or anton or um the family on the ministry team um yeah we would love to to support you um but for now we're gonna have our bible reading so let's do that hi my name's joe and i'm going to be reading the bible tonight from 1 peter chapter 3 reading from verse 1 to 7. please read along with me wives in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes rather it should be that of your inner self the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in god's sight for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in god used to adorn themselves they submitted themselves to their own husbands like sarah who obeyed abraham and called him her lord you are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers oh well over the years i've realized that i love ranking things making lists of my top tens of different things for example here are my top 10 songs from a couple of years ago or i rank the movies that i've seen from each year and i love the driver rankings that come out after each grand prix particularly this week's and i reckon that this passage that joe has just read for us gets in the top 10 as well i reckon it's in the top 10 most controversial passages of the bible may not be number one but i reckon given our current culture this passage would be firmly in the top ten and there's controversy here because this passage contains teaching about men and women in marriage and a lot of what's taught here kind of goes against our prevailing world view it's controversial also because it requires a lot of nuance to understand what god's saying particularly because it follows on from a passage addressing slaves and masters it's a passage which doesn't address single people directly and maybe most significantly when this teaching is misunderstood or misrepresented it can be used to justify abuse and so what we're going to do we're going to take two weeks to hear what god is saying uh on this passage uh tonight i'll be taking an overview of the passage i won't be teaching on all the detail of what's being said here like i normally would but tonight we'll be taking some of the key teachings that come out of these verses on husbands and wives and try to answer some of the big questions that come up and then after school holidays in a few weeks time sarah barnett and i will come back to this passage and see what it does say to husbands and wives and what it means for marriages present and future for us as god's people and now of course i know that some of you are married and some of you aren't some of you may never get married but what i want here is for you to have a biblical view of marriage see all that god has made marriage to be so that whether you're married or not you can honor marriage with your life to the glory of god and as lee mentioned there may be some things that come out of this passage that may be very hard to hear and maybe that's because uh you know from what i see in this biblical text it's teaching on husbands and wives may go against what we might naturally think if we've grown up in this day and age well if uh if what's being taught here is is uh is um uh you know not in line with what you're thinking then firstly listen carefully you might be surprised at what the text is actually saying maybe not as extreme as you think but also see if what i'm saying lines up with scripture and if it does then think deeply about what god is saying to you here and you might need to ask the question okay will i be will i trust god's worldview or will i hold on to my own but secondly this might this teaching might be hard to hear because you have suffered or you are suffering abuse at the hands of someone you love hearing from tonight might bring up feelings of confusion or anger or fear or hurt and hopefully you'll still be able to listen clearly see again if what i'm saying lines up with scripture and then think okay what would be a good next step for me uh in my situation but from my end i'm trying to i'm gonna try and do my best with the help of god's spirit to teach faithfully from this text i want to say clearly what god is saying i'm trying not to put my own agenda on it that's what i'm trying to do i'm really sorry if i say things in a clumsy or hurtful way i'm not meaning to do that but uh but what i'm trying to do is teach god god's word faithfully uh so that we can see uh what he's saying for us and for marriage today let me pray as we turn to god's word again heavenly father you speak a tricky word to us tonight and so please be in my heart as i preach that i might speak what is true what is from your heart and in a gentle and loving and edifying way please also be at work in all of those who are watching now may we all hear you clearly and hear your wonderful design for marriage clearly so that we may rejoice at your wisdom and trust your goodness we ask this in jesus name amen okay to start we're going to need to look at the passage in its context and last chapter previous chapter we saw that if you're a follower of jesus then you are a chosen people a royal priesthood a holy nation god's special possession and that's all because of what christ has done for you as we celebrated in the lord's supper and as god's chosen people but also as people living kind of as foreigners in this land not fitting in not belonging to this world uh that we are in we are to abstain from sinful desires which wage war against your soul we are to live such good lives as we live in this world and part of how we live is how we respond and relate to those in authority over us so we've had the examples already that as citizens we are to submit ourselves for the lord's sake to every human authority and for slaves back in the day they were to in reverent fear of god submit themselves to their masters and in our chapter tonight it says for wives in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands now i appreciate that the word submit might be a dirty word for you or it best might be misunderstood and so let's be clear on what's uh what's on view here uh firstly when i've heard the word submit used by people outside the church it's with respect to marriage in particular what they mean is when their husbands want them to do something then they just have to let it happen or even it's reported that when they think of submit that means they have to put up with abuse well both those things are not let me repeat not what this passage or others like it are saying and we'll see while later but let me just clear that out of the way however the call for wives to submit to their husbands does mean that they are to submit to an authority over them adjust as citizens are to submit to human authorities and and ancient slaves were to submit to masters christian wives are to submit to their husbands now a wife's submission should look uh very different to a slave's submission to a master i think when it says that in the same way in verse 1 i think that's an over translation i think it literally reads just likewise wives submit and so so submission will depend on will look different depend on the relationship that you're in so for example my uh as a citizen my submission to a policeman will look very different to how a worker submits to their boss and that will look quite different to how a wife submits to a husband the nature of the relationship changes uh what it looks like but they are all an act of submission and uh just to clarify note that it's not any woman should submit to any man it's not that but it's specifically a wife submitting to her own husband again it's that relationship that dictates how you relate okay let me pause for a second at this point you may have lots of questions or even objections about this and as lee mentioned there's question time coming up later and the uh the uh texting number is just there but let me uh preempt a few questions that you might have in your mind right now and we'll deal with those uh through the sermon uh one question might be isn't submission a bad thing isn't just inherently a bad thing or doesn't this teaching infer that men are more important than women we'll have a look at that and maybe most seriously the question doesn't this teaching lead to abuse another question how can this teaching be good for a marriage another question might be what does this mean for how husbands and wives actually relate now that fifth question we're gonna leave for part two in a few weeks time but let's go back to that first question isn't submission a bad thing well i'm going to suggest it's not and submission on its own is actually something that we are to do all the time and that can be a really good thing so when we submit to the government and the public health orders then the spread of the virus slows down and uh when uh you know when when kids are at school we want them to submit to their teachers for their learning and for their own safety and all of us are called to submit to jesus and his loving rule over us we've submitted our whole lives to him and so in various ways and in in different relationships we're called to submit when someone's in authority over us but submission is definitely not a dirty word because it's part of who god is submission is part of who god is as well in the trinity in the triune god god the son willingly submits to god the father and his authority we see this in philippians chapter 2 where christ jesus being in very nature god did not consider equality with god something to be used to his own advantage but rather he submitted rather he made himself nothing becoming obedient to death obedient to god to death even death on a cross and so we see jesus willingly submitting himself to god the father and followers of jesus are called to be like him and submit to god the father but also in in a response to the mercy of god we're to submit ourselves to those in authority over us in a respectful way but if a wife is to do that for with a with a husband if a husband has a headship over a wife well then doesn't that mean that men are more important than women well actually not necessarily i don't want to say no because their only men are only oh husbands i should say are any more important if you if you assign importance with authority if your value if what if what you value if what you find important is connected with authority then uh then that's going to be in contrast to what is actually the truth as presented in scripture let's run this by in some other cases so uh you are no less important than a policeman just because he has authority over you when you're out in the street doesn't mean he's more important you're equally valued as people or a uni student is not any less valuable than a lecturer and a wife is no less valuable or important than a husband even if there is a difference in role let me take you back to those verses in philippians jesus himself is equal with god being in very nature with god has equality with god and yet he willingly submits to him he has a different role to god the father but he is still equal and god created men and women as equals from the very beginning in genesis 1 we see that god created mankind in his own image in the image of god he created them male and female he created them and we see this in today's passage as well as wives along with women uh i'm off on the screen but i think you can still hear me so we'll keep going it says that uh here we go hello welcome back um i've lost the text now you've got your bibles over have your bibles open 1 peter chapter 3 says husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you that is with husbands or men of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers so even in this passage we see that there is equality or both husbands and wives are both heirs of eternal life both are of equal value in god's sight equal importance in god's eyes and so husbands and wives men and women should be equal in value in our eyes too but thirdly doesn't this teaching lead to abuse this is this is going to be you know a big question to address because it can be tied in with this teaching now firstly let me put up here that domestic abuse what is it well it's a pattern of behaviors using power and control to dominate and intimidate a family member most often an intimate partner although it could be a parent or even a child to a parent this abuse may be maybe involve physical violence but it could also be a financial abuse controlling access to finances it could be social cutting you off from family friends and others might be emotional abuse manipulating and threatening or spiritual abuse using religious texts and traditions to justify abuse it could be more than that as well abuse is anything that is used to control or intimidate but domestic abuse is also a pattern of behaviors so uh that means even if there's a an episode an abusive episode and even if that partner says i'm so sorry it'll never happen again and you get back and you know connect once more if the behavior happens again if the abuse happens again and again then that's domestic abuse even if they say sorry and domestic abuse by an intimate partner such as a spouse is sadly far too common in our society and in our churches as well so in australia 23 percent of women and 8 percent of men said they had experienced physical violence that's just physical violence let alone the other abuse by an intimate partner since the age of 15 and lockdown has made things even worse and the statistics don't get much better when you look inside the church in the last 12 months 17 of australian anglicans reported some experience of intimate partner violence and the general public was 18 but behind every statistic are people who are hurting or are being hurt and if you're someone who is experiencing abuse then if you're in immediate danger then please call triple zero or if you'd like to talk to someone call the domestic and family violence hotline that's one option 1 1 800 respect 1 800 respect i'll leave that number up on the screen but remember that 1 800 respect and as a church we say no to abuse it is sinful in all its forms and we're here to help you can contact a member of staff or anglicare counselling i'll put the information in the chat of this youtube video and on facebook and as well but back to this text on husbands and wives for one peter the reason why i'm bringing up the topic of domestic abuse is that this text this teaching from the bible is often cited as a factor by those who've experienced abuse particularly those within the church but i want to say that someone who's using this text to justify abuse is not reading the text right and may just be using this as a form of spiritual abuse and so firstly in verse one let's go through and see how this plays out uh in verse one it says can we go the next slide thanks hannah thank you uh wives submit uh in this wives in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands look who this is addressed to it's addressed to wives calling them to willingly submit and so this verse should never be used by husbands or boyfriends to insist that their wives do something a husband must never demand a wife submit to him whether it be in the bedroom or whether it be putting up with abuse submission is a gift for the wife to give not for the husband to demand and then other word to husbands husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life this is what christian headship looks like for husbands it is being considerate it is treating wise with respect treating them as fellow heirs of eternal life equals before god there's no wiggle room for abuse to be allowed in a christian marriage but notice how the bible still acknowledges that there is a power imbalance within most marriages a peter calls the wives the weaker partner now you know sounds a bit offensive peter's not meaning weaker in every way like intellectually or something like that but weaker physically and so with men generally being the physically stronger partner then there's the opportunity to abuse but recognizing that the bible calls husbands to use their strength to be considerate and respect their wives and then add to that ephesians 5 another passage on this topic husbands love your wives just as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her the picture of headship in the bible is all about self-sacrificial love it's not about dominating or controlling or abuse it's about emulating the love of jesus and so if you're a victim of abuse please know that the bible's teaching doesn't support abuse in fact it condemns abuse in all forms and we want to help you as best we can call the hotline or contact a member of the pastoral team or someone you can trust but also if you are watching this and you realize that you are committing abuse if you are using your power to control or manipulate your partner and you've realized this then you need to repent you must not hide behind this teaching anymore and you must stop this abuse but repentance and just me telling you it is not likely to get the job done you're unlikely to break the cycle of abuse on your own you're going to need help from outside your relationship outside your marriage from someone you trust and so maybe make that contact tonight well let's turn to our fourth and final question for this evening how can this teaching be good for a marriage how can this be good for a marriage because many of you watching are not married and some of you may be thinking of marriage down the track and hopefully tonight you've seen that there's a lot at stake in marriage and you will see that well if you if you go to a wedding at a wedding service the minister reads marriage should be honored by all and is not to be entered into lightly or carelessly and so as you think about marriage and the person you're going to marry this is a big deal a lot's at stake but from this passage i want to paint a picture from the bible whether you're married and or not about what god intends for marriage what marriage should be if you're following jesus well and as i do that you'll see the love of god behind it now we're going to head over to one to ephesians 5 which is on the screen now the apostle paul describes the relationship between husband and wife as a picture of christ and the church a marriage relationship is to be a reflection of the wonderful relationship between jesus and us god and his church and so this plays out in marriage in a fee in verse 25 husbands love your wives just as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy a husband is to express his headship in the marriage through self-sacrificial love just as jesus loved the church through self-sacrifice to make the church holy so our husband is to so love his wife through self-sacrifice for her holiness so if you're a husband tonight we've got a big act to follow jesus showed the greatest act of love that there is to lay down his life for the church and so husbands we're called to emulate that love as you lay down your life lay down your preferences lay down your needs for the good and for the holiness of your wife and for wives ephesians says submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the lord and now as the church submits as the church submits to christ so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything and so wives just like all christians willingly and voluntary voluntarily submit themselves to jesus and his loving headship you're called to voluntarily and willingly submit yourselves to your husbands now we'll see what this means for how you relate to your husband and how husbands are to relate to wives uh we'll flesh that out more in a couple of weeks time but god has made husbands and wives to have different roles in marriage and these roles reflect the glory of jesus relating to his people to us now of course sin enters into every marriage and so at various points it will be a pale reflection of the relationship between christ and the church but by god's grace as husbands love sacrificially and wives submit to his loving headship people will get a glimpse at the wonder of jesus's love for us and god's people their joyful response to the love that we have in christ jesus amen well thanks antoine but yeah it's a pretty heavy topic isn't it i'm sure there's lots of things raised in that talk and in that passage that for many of you might be difficult to hear and process we're going to come to a song now it's called oh come to the altar and really it's about us coming to jesus as we are with all our hurts and our pain our sin and our brokenness maybe it's a great chance for you now to just to give those raw feelings to him now so let's sing [Music] are you hiding and broken jesus is calling [Music] have you come to the end of yourself do you thirst for a drink from the well jesus is calling oh come [Music] the precious blood of jesus christ [Music] leave behind your regrets and mistakes come today there's no reason to wait jesus is calling [Music] is [Music] forgiveness was born with the precious blood of jesus christ [Music] [Applause] oh [Music] [Applause] christ is risen [Music] for he is [Music] is [Music] [Music] is [Music] is [Music] arms are open life forgiveness was born with the precious blood of jesus [Music] [Music] was [Music] jesus [Music] as you wait for the crown tell the world of the treasure you found jesus is going alrighty well thanks again anton for your talk and for coming back up here for q a time um on a yeah a really tricky topic thanks for sending through your questions um we're probably not going to get to all of them and remember that in two or three weeks time anton and sarah barnett are going to be speaking on this same passage dealing with that fifth question of how it kind of practically works out so um but let's jump into it so what are your thoughts on complementarianism versus egalitarianism in relationships marriage marriage relationships yeah okay uh so two big terms that uh are in that question compliment egalitarian is that uh in a relationship there uh that two people are equal in value and equal in role so there's no distinction between uh the role of a husband compared to a role of wife you could just say it's partner and partner really a complementarian view of marriage is that both husband and wife are equal in value but there are different complementary roles played by husband and wife they're the terms what was the question um just that's what are your thoughts what my thoughts my thoughts are now again christians will differ on this uh from what i see in the bible is that there's a complementary uh set of roles between husbands and wives well that doesn't mean that as i said it doesn't mean that husbands are more uh valuable or more important than wives are at all but as you can see in juan peter there's a different set of instructions and a different part to play for wives in the marriage and for husbands in the marriage and so uh my thoughts are the the complementarian view of marriage is uh is the bible's way to go and i'm guessing that in a few weeks time we're gonna dive into more of the like what those are yeah and what that well that looks like for for a husband to live out his role and the wife to live out her role for sure yeah um and there's so the question another question kind of follows on from that um and that's the idea that when jesus so in ephesians 5 talk about jesus loving the church and husbands are to love their wives as jesus loved the church he laid down his life he served isn't jesus just submitting and lowering himself and so isn't a husband's respect or love just a like pretty close to submission or submission anyway yeah so well it jesus's uh actions really challenge our view on what leadership and authority look like so part of why we get into trouble with this view of marriage is when we think of um when we think of authority we think of kind of authoritarian as kind of dictator like action from the from the leader whereas that's not how jesus operated at all he used his authority he used his power to serve that's not him submitting to the church it's him loving the church by serving the church and so that's what it is to be a husband it's not to submit to the demands um of the wife but it's to use his power to serve the needs and love his wife so that's what um that's what that's how jesus defines a headship and uh you know in a relationship and so that's what husbands are to to do in their role in loving their wives sacrificially okay helpful so keep those things distinct serving submitting yeah i think submitting is uh you're letting the other person take the lead whereas uh headship is uh taking the lead but christ uh says that the way christian husbands undertake the lead is by serving their their wives sacrificially okay cool um it's a good question what if a female partner is just naturally more authoritative in personality than their male partner is it sinful and would the church encourage them to work to change that or yeah uh the wonderful thing about as i'll see more in a few weeks now the one thing about what god dictates for marriage is there's a lot of openness in what it looks like for a husband to lead and a wife to uh to submit and so uh it there's room for all different personalities within uh within a marriage all different types of people marrying one another uh what i would uh suggest i don't think it's necessarily a uh let's pull the plug on this this relationship but um again we'll talk about this more next time but uh even if the if the woman is more assertive in the marriage use that assertiveness to to help the husband to uh to encourage the husband as he seeks to to lead and sacrificially love her so um if if if she's more naturally assertive that's that's okay but use that as part of your loving submission don't look to dominate or um or or take any take the leadership role away from her husband but use her assertiveness to to help be a faithful helper and encourager as the husband seeks to lead and it might be that the husband needs to grow the the man needs to grow in his in what it looks like to uh to lead um lead the the woman in this relationship and uh hopefully next week might in a few weeks time we'll uh flesh out a little bit more yeah good initial thoughts um last question hi hi hi sorry it's a good question um what does it look like for women to be gentle and have a quiet spirit in married life and everyday life yep i've got a mental blank where's that from in the bible i think it's from one timothy is it maybe not with like i don't have it you've got it in front of you no it's not this way anyway somewhere in the bible i will i know it won't take me long to find anyway uh what does it look like for women to have a gentle and quiet spirit again i think it's more a uh again it doesn't mean that women can't be um gregarious or uh can't be uh rough and tumble in the way that they relate i think in terms of you know look at jesus he was still tough but he was called gentle and so it might be that in conversation the uh a woman might avoid the harsh startup and and so be gentle in the way that she enters into a conversation or um in a quiet spirit it might be yes not um uh not trying to dominate the relationship but encourage the husband in the way that they relate but um feel free to flick me a message so i know who you are i'll look up where it is let's just come right off the top of my head and uh we'll get more context and go from there excellent thanks so much anton and thank you again for sending through your questions and again as i said earlier like an answer um in a q a time just might not cut it for you with the hurts um and yeah that you're feeling and what you're going through or have been through a separation or divorce or domestic abuse so please reach out yeah if you're if you're feeling that way i'm going to pray now before bethany prays for us more generally so let's pray father it's just especially want to bring before you those who are hurting at this time um particularly those who have heard from your word now and are feeling conflicted or confused who who look at their own marriage and just see that it's far from the ideal biblical picture who may be yeah separated or divorced from their partner or experiencing abuse god we i want to lift them up to you now and pray that you would comfort them and care for them that they would know that they can come to you if there are if these are people we know i pray that we might reach out to them that they might reach out to us yeah and just god i pray that they would know that they can come to you with their raw honest emotion at this time and i pray this in jesus name amen amen hi night church i'm beth and i'm going to be leading us in prayer tonight so please pray with me dear god we give you the glory and honor for all that you're doing in our lives each and every day even in the times we can't see it or feel it or that we don't understand your ways lord please shine your light in us through us and over us may we make a difference in this world for your glory and purposes set your ways before us and lead us on a path of righteousness may all your plans succeed through us we may reflect your peace and hope to a world that so desperately needs your presence and healing thank you lord that your ways and thoughts are far greater than ours that you had a plan to redeem them and make all things new they are faces towards the righteous that you hear our prayers and know our thoughts and that you are holy and just help us to not follow after the voice of the crowds but to pressing close to you to hear your whispers and seek your provision lord we pray for everyone who is struggling at the moment whether it be physical mental or spiritual we ask lord that you bring comfort and joy to their suffering help us as a church to share one another's burdens and together bring them to you lord we pray for the leaders around the world give them your wisdom and discernment as they lead we pray that their hearts would be directed first to you that they would recognize where their true help and strength come from we pray that you would surround each one with wise counsel that they would be humble and kind patient and loving through their actions and words we pray that they would have an unwavering faith in you god thank you for the many blessings you have given each of us help us to look back on our lives and see the good things you have done the people you have worked in and the joys that you have provided each and every one of us with we pray all these things in your son jesus name amen oh man um we just have a a last little edition yeah from so unh of course it's in the passage being a the gentle and quiet spirit is in uh the passage would say complete memory rank blank uh verse four of chapter of chapter three uh a wife's beauty should come rather it should be that of your inner self the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in god's sight so rather than outward adornment uh a wife should look you called for that inner inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit and i really look i'm looking forward to sarah burnett uh fleshing that out in three sundays time so look out for it thanks anton um i just have one announcement before we go into our final song um and that is that on saturday the 2nd of october we are going to have a kind of all in all saints games night online so that'll be starting at 7 30. we will send out this information on facebook and in our newsletter but just to kind of warn you to book that in 2nd of october saturday saturday 7 30 p.m um please yeah it'll be a great thing to do to just get together to have some fun as a church family will there be smash hearts probably oh i'm not gonna make any problems um we uh yeah are gonna sing our final song um ten thousand reasons um just yeah hopefully pointing us to the fact that that god is worthy of our praise um that he is a good god um and just also helping us to look forward to our eternity with him that we will be walking with him forever so let's sing [Music] [Music] the sun comes on it's a new day [Music] [Music] yes [Music] before [Music] [Music] your name is great and your heart is [Music] on saving 10 000 reasons [Music] the lord [Music] [Music] and oh that day when my strength is trailing the end draws me and my time has gone still my soul will sing your praises ten thousand years [Applause] bless the lord [Music] [Music] oh [Music] [Music] [Music] well thanks again for joining us tonight um yep when the topic of marriage comes up i think i'm always really challenged um it just got me thinking about even this morning at home we've got a new baby in our house and you know we're all pretty tired and it's so tempting for me as the husband to think oh i just i need the sleep i need the rest you know i need to be comforted but you know these passages in the bible call me to lay down my comfort my life for my wife and and that's always challenging um to be unselfish to to think of someone else so that's how that's what i'm going to be trying to do this week and yeah i pray that yeah you have been challenged tonight as well um yeah please be connecting with each other after the service don't just leave it at this and then put on netflix or whatever but call someone up message someone yeah we really missed that fellowship so i'm trying to keep it going but i'm going to pray to finish this off so let's pray father your word isn't always easy to hear and you know that and i thank you that you give us space to wrestle with it um and i just pray that we'd include you in that wrestle as we um yeah as we might struggle with this and again just want to lift up to those um those to you who are hurting and yeah i commit them into your gentle and lowly arms in jesus name amen see you next week [Music] see [Music] [Applause] [Music] now [Music] oh [Music]

Channel: All Saints North Epping

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Id: dHoe1yAGTgI

Length: 75min 33sec (4533 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 19 2021