Alan Alda's First TV Appearance (The Phil Silvers Show, 1958)

[Music] well carl i suppose you're wondering why i called well i tell you the old sarge is coming to new york for a few days and i was just wondering if you could recommend some hotelity some nice homey place well my ad always stays at the ritz plaza the suites are big and comfortable of course there's the waldorf oh you don't seem to understand carlisle your suggestions are a little too rich for my blood you know what a sergeant's pay is oh but don't let it disturb you i'll just go to some all-night movie and sleep there that's not as comfortable as my bed here on the post the one i used to let you use you know so you feel at home wait a minute sarge i've got an idea he's got an idea what is it there boy i wanted to stay here at the house sarge dad and i would love to have you there's plenty of room well thank you isn't that terribly sweet of you yes i'd be delighted where the east would i don't care it's the east wing or the west wing surprise me i'm not particular but you'll send what well isn't that terribly nice of you thank you very much colin i look forward to seeing you in the next few days splendid ah you must be sergeant bill coat well i'm not colonel hall splendid splendid uh carlyle i am telling you for the last time you've got to give up this foolish notion of becoming a sculptor and go into the family business dad i've told you a million times i'm not interested in the shipping business oh you're pretty independent for a young man who has no money of his own i'm sure well until you're 25 years old which won't be for another seven months you're living off me and you're going to do as i want you to do and that's to go into the shipping business don't try to bully me dad i feel i have something to say as an artist take my woman with grapes for instance you mean that says something yes it does well i'll tell you what it says to me it says to me that you're going to go into the shipping business young man or you're on your own and don't try to bully me dad now listen to me kyle i've listened to you long enough we're putting you in the blue rooms the blue room oh damn i wish you had told me anything wrong sir i brought my orange pajamas the colors will clash shall i change your roots oh no no i'll change my pajamas i'm sure you have more rooms than i have pajamas marie are the rooms ready for sergeant bilcoe yes benson i hope you don't mind but i took the liberty of lighting a fire in the fireplace for you my dear you can take all the liberties with me you want you'll find me very difficult now if you'll come this way i don't care what you say i've made up my mind i'm not going in the shipping business look who's here all right get out of this house and stay up who's that my dad that suits me fine i can't get out fast enough i don't need your money i don't need your house carla what are you doing that's your father go on in there and apologize and when you leave take all of those silly stupid doctors don't worry you'll never see them with me in this house again don't mind him sir he's a bit hysterical and put myself together i finally stood up to him oh my father knows best oh you don't know him ernie all right i'm leaving this house forever we'll talk it off i got a lovely room with the fire come on upstairs oh no ernie i'm not gonna let you stay another minute in this house oh that you got this all wrong your father's mad at you you ain't mad at me getting out of here i finally had enough of this benton we're leaving your bags where are we going don't worry we'll find a place well look aren't you being a little hyster tell marie to keep that fire going i'll be back [Music] this is just what i want a place of my own where i can work it's too bad you're a sculptor what this place needs is a painter whether you brother you're building instead you guys want the apartment y'all take it no don't pay any attention that means one of those eccentric millionaires the building's full of them in advance gee i only have 19 oh that does it let's go home and tell dad we're sorry oh no no ernie we'll just have to find a cheaper apartment you're in it oh look you're just a kid you're excited okay we'll stay here a couple of hours then we'll go over and check in at the one of those park avenue hotels right i couldn't if i wanted to ernie i'm broke he broke his top of the bank you cashed a check i haven't got a bank account that was my last 19 in the world your last is that all you had left from your million dollar inheritance that you got when you were 25 years old i'll be 25 for another seven months well let's go home and think it over for a while for like seven months this is where i stay until i make it you don't understand all you have to do is tell your father say dad i'm sorry i lost my head i just heard you moving in i'm felix stanton i have the studio across the hall another artist i'm carlyle thompson a sculptor what do you do i'm a painter you say dad i didn't know what i was well as long as you're going to be living with us i thought i'd tell you about the schedule for the past i lost my hand you're at the bottom of the list what are you the bathtub warden i'm talking to this man hey is this your work yes that's my woman with grapes your minds are very strong listen to this you say that you've got real talent wonderful my boy i'm giving you my turn at the bathtub you think i have a future my boy will make a fortune why this piece alone take your hands off the statue dating it we won't be able to sell it we you didn't think i'd desert a struggling young artist did you how many of these can you make a week look when you put a clock in the stomach that gives it a novelty hey take your hands off this all right i got it friends here it is sculpture get your sculpture handmade sculpture it's spicy it's revealing before the police that care mac you look like a knot lover to me how about nice piece of sculpture to beautify your home what home i live in a hotel all the better you can make an impression on your chambermaid there it is thank you we've been here all day and we haven't sold a thing let's take it back to the studio maybe you're right we'll get a better spot tomorrow this woman with grapes gets heavier every day why don't you chisel off a few grapes all right we can set up right here uh bring those cameras over here all right right this way now watch out for that wire folks what is this it's television they cover the art show every year you're kidding you mean they broadcast this yeah well may give me that statue you're going to be on television this is your big chance you just stand here look autistic don't say anything let me do all the talk bring those cameras over this hello friends of tv land good afternoon it's my privilege to present one of america's most talented ladies and gentlemen i'm very sorry due to weather conditions we're going to have to return you to our studio put the back up on the truck there wait a minute huh [Music] ernie thanks for all you tried to do for me i'm sorry i lost your furlough don't worry about it kid i still got a week to go i'll go back to roseville live at the ymca eat at the uso i'll be all right thanks a lot ernie before you go i'd like to give you something to show you how grateful i am it's going to be worth a lot of money someday hang on to it hang on that i can get rid of it i've got money for everything else look at my father in a couple of days he's opening up the new thompson building it cost 10 million dollars and it hasn't got a piece of art in it that's the way the cooking crumbles kid well don't be discouraged keep chiseling so long ernie [Music] listen to this one kid and the most impressive feature of the new thompson building is a statue the spirit of transportation by carlisle thompson the third you're famous kid i never weren't for you i'd still be starving glad to do it well best of all my father doesn't mind my being an artist why should he i mean oh marie is my room ready oh yes miss you everything is ready for you i lift the fire oh bunk well i've only got a week left my furlough might as well make the most of it take advantage of your hospital oh there you are my boy carlisle i've got a big surprise for you and surprised thanks to sergeant bilco here i found out what a talented son i have thanks serge it's all right what's the prize then i'm taking you to europe my boy to study art europe did you hear that kid mr thompson you're a fine dad thank you we'll close the house leave for europe tonight ernie came to spend his vacation with us and i sort of spoiled it for well that's too bad well then there's no reason to close the house sergeant milko can stay right here have the run of the house we're taking pettin with us but then marie will be here come out also seen in tonight's cast were alan alda as carlisle thompson larry fletcher as the father henry lascaux the landlord eddie lawrence is felix standish and art forward as the commentator

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Views: 10,289

Rating: 4.9560437 out of 5

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Id: MIPpeipw7y0

Length: 8min 55sec (535 seconds)

Published: Sat May 01 2021