Vanessa:
Today's lesson was created by you, I asked you to ask us your top questions about daily
routines. So today, I'm here with my husband, Dan. Dan:
Hello. Vanessa:
And we're going to be answering your questions. Will your question be featured in today's lesson?
I don't know. We'll watch to find out. Hi, I'm Vanessa from speakenglishwithvanessa.com. And
like always, I have created a free PDF worksheet, which is here over Dan's face. And it is going
to include all of the wonderful questions, all of the vocabulary that we're going to use
today, definitions, extra sample sentences so that you can use this vocabulary yourself. Because the
goal of today's lesson is to help you understand real conversations, but also be able to have
real conversations yourself. So please download this free worksheet, expand your vocabulary
and your speaking skills so that you can go into the world with confidence. You can click on
the link in the description to download that free PDF worksheet today. All right, are you ready to
get started with our first category of questions? Dan:
I'm ready. I'm coming in blind too,
so this should be interesting. Vanessa:
Yeah. Dan has no idea what these questions are. The first
category are questions about daily routine. The second category are questions about
food, and the third category are questions about activities or hobbies. And there
are a lot of questions, so we're going to try to whip through these lightning speed,
and just see what happens. Are you ready? Dan:
I'm ready. Vanessa:
All right. Questions about daily routine. The first question
is, "What is your routine every morning?" Dan:
My routine every morning. Well, as you know, I get out of bed, I look in the
mirror for two seconds, and I go like this. Vanessa:
And I always laugh because I think that is such a non-woman way to
get ready in the morning. Just, "Okay, I'm good." Dan:
Yeah, okay, nothing on my face, all right, go. And then maybe brush my teeth sometimes, and
then go make breakfast. So I make breakfast for both my kids, but not you, because you like to eat
later. And then I pack my son a lunch, and myself a lunch. And then we go to school, we drive to
school together. So gather all this stuff and go. Vanessa:
Yep, that's a morning routine. Dan:
How about you? Vanessa:
Well, while Dan is making breakfast, I wake up, I nurse our baby, and walk into the
kitchen, try to spend a little time with our kids. I make some tea, we eat breakfast together,
and I help our oldest get out the door with Dan. Dan:
That could be a challenge. Vanessa:
And then I spend some time with our three-year-old before we go to preschool. So our carpool friends
pick him up to take him to preschool, about 30 minutes after they leave. So we have a nice 30
minutes of quality time together. And usually, I push him on the swing outside, that's his favorite
thing. Then he goes to preschool with our carpool friends, and I put our baby down for a nap, and my
day begins. All right, question number two, "How has your morning routine changed now that you have
three kids?" What hasn't changed is the question. Dan:
Well, the biggest thing is school, for me. We
never had to get ready for school before, and I work at the school too. So pretty
much everything has changed about the morning routine because of the children.
But as far as three children go, I mean- Vanessa:
Two, three- Dan:
Yeah. Our third baby's so easy. She doesn't
really count as far as a lot of work yet. Vanessa:
Yeah, I feel like the routine changing was more no kids or kids. When you don't have kids, your
morning routine is really different, we just spent more time, it was quieter. I don't even know what
life was like... drank my tea quietly. But now, you're always multitasking, I'm reading a book,
nursing a baby, and drinking my tea at the same time. There's just more going on all the time.
Yeah, I'd say that's the biggest thing for me. All right. Next question, "What is the best part
of your daily routine that you really enjoy?" Dan:
Coffee. Vanessa:
It doesn't have to be morning routine. It could be like- Dan:
I thought you said morning routine? Vanessa:
Daily routine. That's the thing that's changed
the most since having three kids. Dan:
The most about- Vanessa:
Anything that routinely happens in your day is considered your daily
routine. So something that happens regularly. Dan:
It might still be coffee. Yeah, I don't know. I have a morning coffee and an
afternoon coffee, and try to cling to those moments when I can. Yeah, I also like lunchtime.
Food and drink are really nice. It's routine, it's like, this is what I do every day. The
ride to and from school is nice as well, because I usually listen to something
with my son, either music or an audiobook, and we chat together as well. And so that's
a nice routine that we have going every day. Vanessa:
Yeah, some quality time together. Yeah. Dan:
And how about you? Vanessa: Well, I had the privilege of reading these
questions in advance, so I had a moment to think about them. I think one of the parts of my day
that I enjoy the most is, at the end of the day, when we sit at the table and we eat dinner, we
often ask each other a very simple question, "What was the best part of your day?" Sometimes we
also ask, "What was the most challenging part of your day?" If a day was particularly challenging,
or just if we remember it. And it's interesting to hear what everyone has to say. For our kids,
sometimes it's this meal right now. They only live in the moment, they don't remember
what happened 10 minutes ago. It's just, "What was the best part of your day?" "Right now."
So I like that, kind of a moment together. Yeah, I think that's something that I look forward
to, coming together at the end of the day. Next question is, "What do you do at night when you are
going to sleep?" So what's your nighttime routine? Dan:
A nighttime routine for me? I don't really think I have much of a
nighttime routine... I mean, I brush my teeth. Vanessa:
Good. Dan:
And sometimes, I shower. These are things I sometimes do every
night, or most nights. Yeah. But other than that, I am the kind of guy who just hits the pillow
and falls asleep pretty quickly. Before kids, I had trouble going to sleep, and wouldn't
fall asleep. But now that I have children, when I go to bed, I'm just
going to sleep, typically. Vanessa:
You're just really tired. Dan:
Yeah, not too much of a bedtime routine. I've tried to throw some stuff in there before, like
trying to do breathing exercises and meditation, but I would say, I'm not consistent enough in
those practices to say it's a routine, as of now. Vanessa:
Okay. All right. Well, that's maybe the goal in the future at some point. Dan:
Yes. And for you? Vanessa:
Nighttime routine, what do you do at night when you're going to
sleep? I think, usually, after the kids go to bed, I tidy up a little bit, like you do the
dishes a little bit, I read a book usually, or sometimes lately, I've been listening to a
book, very exciting. And usually, like Dan said, I'm zonked by the end of the day, and brush my
teeth, maybe take a shower, and go to sleep. Dan:
Maybe take a shower. Vanessa:
Maybe take a shower, I don't know. They say it's not
healthy to take a shower every day- Dan:
Somebody says that. Vanessa:
That's what we're going with. But I feel like that's pretty much it. Nighttime
is a little bit more relaxed than mornings, because in the morning, you're trying to manage
multiple people and get started in the day, and there's more energy. So the end of the
day is just kind of more... All right. The question we touched on just a second ago, "Who
helps you?" So I think they're talking about me, "Who helps me in your daily chores?" So
let's talk about what chores means first, and then we can talk about who does daily chores. Dan: The chores are any work that you have to do to
make the household run. So the classic example is laundry and dishes. Doing the dishes,
that's my job. I don't know if it's 50/50, but we split the chores. We try to be relatively
even about it. So yeah, I do the dishes and- Vanessa:
I do the laundry. Dan:
You do the laundry. Those are the big ones. There's a lot of kid chores, you got
to give them a bath, you got to put them to bed- Vanessa:
You make breakfast. Dan:
Those are chores. Vanessa:
I make lunch. Dan:
Oh, cooking as well. Yeah. Vanessa:
And then we both make dinner. I think instead of saying, "Every other day we make
dinner," it's more that there's specific meals that I cook and specific meals that you cook. And
depending on what we've scheduled for the week, we try to schedule two weeks of meal plans. And
that way, we know Monday... We have different days, miso Monday, taco Tuesday, soup Saturday,
stuff like this, fish Friday. And that way, we have some routine about food, because when
you have kids, especially when you have kids, just feeding them can feel really overwhelming
because they're always hungry, there's always something more to make. And then you're also
trying to spend time with them while you're cooking, and sometimes they want to help,
and that is good, but it's also chaotic. So I think having that routine for what you're
going to eat, when you're going to eat it, who's going to make it, I think that's
really important. And I would say one more thing about sharing chores. The
way that our lives work... we both work, we both have a job, and we also are parents.
So our professional and personal lives are very similar. I have some friends who, for
example, their husband works, and the mother, her 100% job is the home and the children. So
she cooks every meal because that is her job, that is her professional job to do that.
And it's a lot, it's very difficult. Dan:
A lot of times, it's harder than a real job, "a real job." Vanessa:
A moneymaking job is usually easier than taking care of the
home and the children. So in that situation, their roles would be a little bit different, but for us, we can split it a little more evenly
because our lives are just set up like that. Dan:
Yep. You are home more now, so you probably pick up more little stuff than I
do. Literally, picking up little stuff everywhere. Vanessa:
Yeah, that's a good phrase. It means you also do more things, but also, in the home, you have
to tidy up a lot. So you have to pick up books, and toys, and I don't know what... raisins on
the floor. Anyway, let's go to our next question. Dan:
Raisins. Vanessa:
There's a lot of raisins on the floor. This is
the last one for daily routine and then we'll go to food. The question is,
"How much TV do your kids watch per day?" Dan: So our children don't watch any TV if they are
going to school. So they don't watch any TV that day, because they've had enough stimulation at
school and they don't need anymore after that. And we usually just read a book to them,
or do something outside for the evening- Vanessa:
And they get home late, and I don't want them to just watch TV and
then go to bed. There's not much time together. Dan:
Yeah. And because it's not a habit for them during school days, they
don't really beg for it, which is what you want. Vanessa:
They're also young, six years old and three years old, so they don't
know. Maybe later when they get older, they'll beg, "Please, I want to do this, I want to watch
this." So I don't know what the future holds. Maybe they'll do that in the future, but for right
now, this is the routine and they're okay with it. Dan:
Yes. And then so on non-school days, they're allowed to watch
30 minutes, and maybe an hour on one day a week, like Sunday, we let them watch a little more.
But typically, it's no more than 30 minutes. Vanessa:
Usually, I would say it's an hour, because they each get to choose one show. And I think the
important thing for us with TV is choosing which shows are okay. Because there's a lot of shows
that they say they're for kids, but it's just not good for kids. It's too fast, it's too much
violence, or bad attitudes, or bad role models, or whatever it might be. So we want to make
sure our kids are being exposed to good stuff. Dan:
Our children watch educational cartoons. Vanessa:
Well, it can be entertaining too, but they each get to choose one thing, so 20
minutes, 20 minutes. And I think not watching it on school days has been a really good routine
for us, because they get home from school... And for me, when I've had a really busy day, I need
to decompress and process what's happened. And if I jump into just media and watching a movie, or
TV, or looking at my phone, I just don't feel as calm. It doesn't help. And I don't want my kids
to learn that the way that you can decompress at the end of the day is by watching TV. I think
it's better to connect with them, at least at this young age, when they're still okay with
that. I understand when Theo is 13 years old, he's not going to say, "Mom, let's read a story
together." That would be nice, but that's okay, I understand it won't happen. So while they're
young, I think that's important to focus on connecting with them at the end of the day.
All right, next category. Questions about food. We talked a little bit about who
cooks what, but this is, "What kind of meals specifically for breakfast, specifically
for lunch, and for dinner, do you cook for your family?" So let's start with breakfast.
What kind of things do we eat for breakfast? Dan:
Okay, well- Vanessa:
Breakfast man. Dan:
When the chickens were laying eggs, because we have chickens, and
they've stopped laying eggs because it got cold, and they molted, and whatnot. So now, we're
getting one egg every two days. Anyway, but before that, I cooked eggs every single day.
I would make either scrambled eggs, or fried eggs, and a piece of toast with some jam. And then
if not that, then I make oatmeal. And those are the two breakfasts, works every time. Then
for lunch, I'll make a sandwich of some kind- Vanessa:
Especially on the school day- Dan:
... or I'll bring leftovers from home, which is probably what I prefer. But
sandwiches are good too. Classic American meals. Vanessa:
Yeah, when I make lunch for Freddy, or when we're
all home, like on a vacation, for lunch, because I usually make lunches if we're all home,
some type of bread, some type of spread or dip, so maybe it's peanut butter, or almond butter
bread, or hummus, and olives, and carrots, and apples, stuff like that, like little
munchies, little things like that, usually. Dan:
She is the queen of munchy lunch, that's for sure. Vanessa:
Yeah, just one big plate with lots of stuff on it and everyone eats
it. It doesn't have to be anything spectacular, but you just choose what you want. Little
pieces of cheese cut up, whatever it might be, you just eat it. I think for dinner, usually,
we have, like I said, a meal plan. So we have specific things that we make. So every Monday, Dan
is miso man, miso soup, we have fish-based miso, and then there's a beef-based miso. So there's
a couple of different types. We make tacos on Tuesdays. They're not really Mexican
tacos, they're just Vanessa style tacos. Dan:
I like Taco Tuesday. Vanessa:
So we make breakfast tacos with sausage, and eggs, and
potatoes. There's beef tacos, fish tacos, I'm sure I've made sweet potato tacos, tons
of different types. We make lots of soup. Some salads, depending on if it's the summertime,
and we have a lot of fresh stuff in our garden. Dan:
Borscht. Vanessa:
Oh, we made borscht yesterday. Yeah, lots of different things. I think in the US, it's
unusual because we don't have "American cuisine," we don't have a long history of the same type
of food. So I know that when we lived in Korea- Dan:
Sure we do, it's called hot dogs and hamburgers. Vanessa:
But our ancestors 100 years ago, were not eating that. It's not like something that's
been passed down. So when we lived in Korea- Dan:
I got some German heritage. Vanessa:
Okay, maybe they've been eating sausage for a long time. They ate Korean
food at every meal, and there's no question. Dan:
Yeah, it's very different. Vanessa:
"Are we going to eat tacos today? Are we going to eat..." I don't know- Dan:
Miso soup. Vanessa:
"Miso soup. What are we going to eat?" No, it was always Korean food. So there's that food
tradition. And so I think in the US, that's a pro and a con, that people often struggle with
knowing, "What should I eat? What should I make?" And also, maybe not having that food tradition
makes people, this is my theory, more susceptible to fad diets, because they don't have a strong
culture of, oh yeah, wheat, rice and kimchi, and seaweed every day for breakfast. You're more
susceptible to being, "I'm going to eat four pounds of watermelon for breakfast because that's
the new diet." Okay, well, that's not healthy. Dan:
That's Vanessa diet for sure. Vanessa:
Well, I do love watermelon, that was an example. But anyway, so that's
stuff that we make. And I think we spend a lot of time cooking, but we try to include our
kids, and we try to prioritize healthy food, eating together. It seems hectic
sometimes, but trying to slow down and prioritize those essentials in
life, especially when our kids are young, Dan:
You try to include the kids. Vanessa:
I try to include kids. Dan:
I'm like, "No, I need to be able to chop something
without cutting off a finger or whatnot." Vanessa:
Yeah. It is definitely a specific task to try to cook with children.
You have to manage them, it's not a solo quiet- Dan:
On your average day, it's not something I want to do just because
it's the end of the day kind of thing. Vanessa:
Yeah, that makes sense. All right, let's go to the next question,
this is a fun one, "What meals make your family say that they think they've died and gone to
heaven?" So what's our family's favorite meals? Dan:
For Theo and Freddy, it's half of them. They'll be like, "This is amazing.
This is the greatest thing I've ever had." Vanessa:
They love food. Dan:
Yeah, they are very good, non-picky eaters. Vanessa:
Yeah, I think there's a term we often say for kids
that they're good eaters. If a kid is not picky, we'd say, "Oh, they're such good eaters. I'm so
grateful." And that's true for our kids. They ate everything. We made borsch yesterday, and they
said, "This is so good. I love this." And I think- Dan:
I'm trying to remember the last thing they were
like, "This is the best thing ever." Vanessa:
I think the only meals they don't like...
Theo doesn't like fried rice. Dan:
He doesn't like shiitake mushrooms. Vanessa:
He doesn't like shiitake mushrooms- Dan:
... or mushrooms in general. Oh,
they really like my pizza. Vanessa:
Yeah, your pizza- Dan:
Hard not to like that. Vanessa:
... they love miso, they love tacos, they love soups, and
salads, and they'll grab handfuls of anything in the garden, like raw kale and
cabbage. They'll just grab it and eat it. Dan:
Yeah, they enjoy it a lot more if they pick it themselves. Vanessa:
Yeah. And they say, "Oh, there's a bug on it. Okay, it doesn't really matter." Yeah, they're
really not picky. And I think for us too, we enjoy food. So whenever we go on a date, something
that we like to do is go to a restaurant that we enjoy the food. It's special food, food that
we don't cook at home, because we cook a lot of special food at home. So something that's unique
and different, and that's an interest for us as adults. So I think it's something fun to share
with our kids that, "Oh, we're excited to try this." And they're actually excited too. That's
nice. So we'll see for our baby. Hopefully, she's not picky too. Hopefully, she loves food. We'll
see. All right, let's go to the next one. This is the last question about food. It is, "What is your
favorite type/style of coffee to drink daily?" Dan:
Oh, coffee. Vanessa:
This is for you. Dan:
We're going to coffee. Vanessa:
Yeah. What kind of coffee, type or style of coffee do you like? Dan:
So I like a medium roast coffee. Yeah, right in the middle. And I like Colombian
coffees. It's a very cliche kind of coffee. Vanessa:
For reference, if someone doesn't know anything about any of those, what would you label Starbucks
as? Because most people are familiar with- Dan:
Burnt. They just... over roasted. Yeah. Vanessa:
Okay. So it's like dark, dark, dark, roast. Dan:
They have a couple that are okay, but for the most part, if you want to make Starbucks taste
any good, you got to put a bunch of stuff in it. Vanessa:
That's what people usually do. Dan:
And that's what a lot of people who go to Starbucks do. Although
there are some people who like dark roast and they just... I don't know. Like my dad,
his taste buds have been burnt for ages, and so he'll drink just about any coffee and be
like, "Yeah, it's coffee." I feel a little bit like that sometimes too. Coffee drinkers, if you
need coffee, you just go and get coffee, right? Vanessa:
I've definitely seen you drink gas station coffee before on a- Dan:
Yeah, and I like it too. But I pictured gas station coffee
like it's been made in a lab somewhere, and they're like, "How can we make this a
little more appealing to the truck drivers?" They drop in a little something. It has
that flavor to it. Gas station coffee. Vanessa:
Well, I don't like coffee, so that's it. Dan:
But at home, I like a variety, but yeah, I like typically Colombian
coffee, classic nutty, roasty, chocolatey. Vanessa:
If any of you are from Columbia and you want to send Dan
whole roasted coffee beans, he would love that. Dan: Actually, the coffee from Costa Rica
was very good too. You even liked that. Vanessa:
Yeah. I was going to say, the only time I've ever liked coffee and
drank a full cup of coffee, because in the US, we don't just have little espresso shots
of coffee, we have full cups of coffee- Dan:
Well, people do the little K-cup things. Vanessa:
Well, it becomes a big cup though in the end. It becomes
a mug of coffee. I'm thinking about how in Italy, there's just a little tiny espresso,
and that's your coffee for the day. Dan:
That drove me nuts. In Italy, it's like, "I want
coffee. Can I have a coffee? Can I get your biggest coffee?" And it'd
be like, this is their biggest coffee. Vanessa:
It's like the most American thing ever. Dan:
Yeah, I was very American. Yes. Vanessa:
Well, at the farm we stayed at in Costa
Rica, they grew their own coffee beans, and something about it was just perfect,
it was smooth, it wasn't bitter. Dan:
Not too acidic. Vanessa:
Not too acidic, I think that's the big thing. And I don't like the way that
coffee makes me feel. The amount of caffeine is just too much for me. I drink tea, I drink black
tea, and that has caffeine in it. But coffee on a regular basis, makes me feel too jittery and
anxious. And I've met other people like this, and it's like my soulmates, we just understand
that feeling. Because a lot of people that drink coffee regularly, like you, you're like, "I don't
know what that feels like. What do you mean?" Dan:
I'm very acclimated, I guess. Vanessa:
Yeah, I think so. So anyway, that's my answer is, only the coffee from
a specific farm in Costa Rica, otherwise- Dan:
Must be grown in your backyard in Costa Rica. Vanessa:
Yes, I'm the pickiest of all. All right,
let's go to our next category, which are questions about hobbies and activities.
The first question is, "Do you have much time for reading?" What goes along with that is,
"What's the last book you read?" And there's a couple others that are just questions for me.
Yeah. Do you have much time for reading, Dan? Dan:
Yeah, technically, I do. Vanessa:
What was the last book you read? Dan: Oh, goodness, it's probably a nonfiction book
of some kind. I don't know, I haven't finished a book in a long time, honestly. I start a lot of
books, and then I scan the footnotes and all that. Vanessa:
That's okay. I read enough for four people. Dan:
Yeah. Honestly, I don't read that much, but I like reading when I do, I just don't. I
just tend to watch videos and do other stuff. Vanessa:
Yeah. Yeah. Take care of kids. Dan: Well, yeah, there's that too. I listen
to audiobooks, children's audiobooks, with my son. And I read a lot of stories to
them, but these are children's books. Yeah, I don't really even remember the last book I
read. But I am going in blind on these questions. Vanessa:
If you think of it later, let us know. Dan:
Okay. But I do know somebody who reads
a lot, and that's my wife. Vanessa:
That's me. So I think at any given time, I'm
probably reading three books. Right now, I just finished listening to one of the most
amazing books that I've ever listened to. Dan:
Oh, yeah, she tells me all about them too,
so I don't need to read them. Vanessa:
Yeah, he reads vicariously through me. So this book is actually one that I
want to listen to together. It's called Endurance, and it's about Earnest Shackleton's failed
Antarctic exploration. And it's considered the greatest survival story of all time, and it
is so incredibly unbelievable. It is 100% true. It includes so many of their diary segments,
so their individual thoughts, and their words, and the way that the guy reads it, he's such a
good reader. I think reading the book yourself would be nice, but the way that his voice... he
has a different accent for each of the people because they're from a lot of different British
Isles countries, another guy's from Australia in the story. So he just reads it so well. So if
you have, for example, like an Audible account, I highly recommend listening to Endurance,
about Ernest Shackleton. It's so good. Dan:
So you're counting that as reading, even
though you listened to it? Vanessa:
Yes, it is consuming a book, not just short form content, like an article or something like that.
Yeah, I read a lot. I feel like the times that I read a lot are when I'm nursing. Because I have a
small baby, so I nurse her a lot, and oftentimes, while I'm nursing her, she's almost asleep.
So if the other children are taken care of, and I'm not trying to nurse her and take care
of them, if I'm in the quiet of the bedroom, I have a Kindle, which is great, it has a little
light. So I can read on my Kindle and I have 30 minutes, maybe 15 minutes sometimes, and I
can read my book, or I deleted social media stuff off of my phone. So that really helped. I
upped my reading when I did that because I found myself just in those spare moments, especially
because my life is so busy, there's just always kids and there's work, and then there's our house.
There's always something demanding my attention, that in those precious free moments, my animal
brain just wanted a hit of dopamine. Like, "Oh, watch a YouTube video." "Oh, look at social
media." And it was difficult to resist. So I had an interesting conversation with my sister, and we
both decided just to delete all social media off our phones. And both of us since then have read so
much. It was like as if this veil had been lifted, and all of a sudden, you have more time than
you think you do. So if you're feeling like you don't have much time to learn English, maybe
you do, just delete social media off your phone, and watch my YouTube videos on your
computer, on a laptop, and something that's- Dan:
Have YouTube somewhere. Vanessa:
Something that's not instantly accessible, something where you have to consciously choose
to sit down and open it up. I think the phone is the dangerous part, that has helped me so much to
have time to read, and I read so many books now. I'm also reading another book called Braiding
Sweetgrass. I'm reading another book called The Highly Sensitive Person, which is a psychology
book. A lot going on. And depending on, "Oh, I feel like reading this now. I feel like
reading this." I've got lots of options. Dan:
Well, if we're counting audiobooks, the last impactful audiobook I listened to
with Theo was Little House on the Prairie. Vanessa:
Classic. Dan:
Yeah. And we started Anne of Green Gables too, but that one
was a little bit over his head. Very verbose. Vanessa:
Yeah, it's probably better for a
10-year-old than a 6-year-old. Dan:
Yeah. But Little House on the Prairie, that was
very entertaining for an adult, I think. Vanessa:
Yeah, I love those books. Dan:
Very historically interesting, and all
that. So yeah, that was great. Vanessa:
There's a part two to this question, which
is talking about reading. It says, "Do you have time to read your students' comments?
Do you consider this distracting or extra work?" Dan:
I don't. Vanessa:
You don't read the comments. I feel like reading YouTube comments, I generally
read the comments on the most recent videos, and I don't read 100% of the comments, but I
read most of them and respond to some of them- Dan:
I have noticed, going to some videos, I see your
responses more than your average YouTuber. Vanessa:
Yeah. I try to respond to 10 comments or so for all the videos.
And yeah, I enjoy reading them. I don't read them for hours every day. And it says, "Do you consider
it distracting or extra work?" I try to consider everything related to my job to be work, and it
doesn't mean it has to be annoying or difficult work, but I try my best. I don't always succeed.
I try to separate my personal life from my work. So when I'm spending time with my kids, I'm not
looking at the YouTube comments on my video, or when I'm cooking, I'm not spending time looking
at the comments on YouTube, or if I'm waiting to pick up my kid from school, I'm not looking at
the comments. I only do that during my work time. And I think that really helps me to just feel more
at ease. Because I'm really good at multitasking, but after I multitask, I feel really
totally beat, just really drained of energy. Because I've been working so hard
to multitask and do all these things, so it's better for me, and I think
it's better for the people around me, if I focus on one thing instead of trying to do
it all at the same time. So if that makes sense. Dan:
Yeah. I would say, Vanessa probably has less interest in YouTube comments than probably your
average YouTuber. You don't seem to really care that much about what people say, positively. She's
not looking for praise is what I'm trying to say. Vanessa:
I feel like I try not to base my worth, my individual personal worth, on the comments
and other people's opinions. I appreciate when people write nice comments... and especially my
favorite types of comments are when people say, "I've been watching your videos and my English has
improved," that is my goal as a teacher, I want you to improve. So when I see that kind of change
and the dedication of watching and studying, and that something that I provided actually helped
you, that makes me feel really good. So I think that detailed personal type of comment is really
important to me. But it is true, I try not to- Dan:
I don't want to make it sound like you don't care at all. Vanessa:
Yeah. I'm not the kind of person that's like,
"Oh, we got 3000 likes, yay." Dan:
That's what I mean. Vanessa:
Yeah. Those kinds of social media markers don't matter
to me as much, but personal change, that's really special. So please keep sharing things
like that. The next question is mainly for me, "How do you have time to prepare videos
and still be present with your family?" Dan:
I ask that all the time, honestly. Vanessa:
So the question is, how is your work life balance? How do you work and have a family?
I think the only way that my job still exists with having kids is that there's other people on my
team who help to make that happen. So there's someone who helps with my emails, there's someone
who helps to edit the PDFs that are downloaded for free for you, you can download today's free
PDF, there's someone who helps to edit these videos. All of that makes it possible because
I don't have 40 hours every day to do it all. Dan:
Yeah. Her team used to be me, but since we've
changed that, it's gotten better actually. Vanessa:
Well, I've certainly been able to diversify. Different
people can specialize in different types of jobs. So that really helps everything to
run smoothly. Before this school year, my three-year-old went to preschool this year
for the first time. So he's at school from nine to one o'clock. Before that, we had a babysitter
come over to our house for three mornings a week, 9 o'clock to 12 o'clock for three mornings a week.
So I had, what is that, nine hours? Nine hours to work every week. Sometimes it wasn't exactly
nine hours, sometimes it was like seven hours. Dan:
Well, that's not including anything in the evening that you do. Vanessa:
Yeah. My goal is to try to not work in the evening after the kids go
to bed, but sometimes I would be pressed to have to do that. And now, I try to delegate tasks. That
means give tasks to other people so that I'm not feeling too overwhelmed, or stressed, and I can
focus on the things that I do best, like making these videos for you. The next question goes also
with managing, but it involves you, "With managing your house, YouTube channel, your teaching
job, and kids, do you have time to work out?" Dan:
Oh, work out, huh? Actually, yes. So lately, I have
been running, which is pretty new for me. Vanessa:
It's been a couple of months. Dan:
Yeah, I've slacked a bit lately, but- Vanessa:
When the time changed and it got dark early,
that made it really hard for you. Dan:
Yeah. I don't like running in the pitch black, but- Vanessa:
There's a lot of bears where we live. Dan:
Yeah, I have time for sure. It's obviously hard to find the motivation sometimes
after a long day. That's the main thing. But I found that if I go for a run and I just start,
it actually feels good. Especially if I'm like, "I'm going to put on some headphones," or
even if just to get some fresh air and- Vanessa:
You're actually alone. Dan:
I don't want this to sound like I want to
be away from my kids, but sometimes, when you go for a run and they're not
there, it's kind of nice. So, yeah. Vanessa:
That's how I feel about going to the gym. So last year, I was pregnant for the whole
year. And then when our baby was born in June, I had some recovery time over the summer. And then
at the end of the summer, I started going to the gym a couple of times a week. I got sick for a
little bit and had to take a pause. But I think this same idea of doing something by yourself...
When you're surrounded by people a lot- Dan:
When you're a parent- Vanessa:
... or your job is teaching with lots of kids, and your
responsibilities are just pulling at you all the time, going to the gym and just listening
to music, or an audiobook, like I like to do, and running or lifting some weights, it
feels actually pretty calming, like a break- Dan:
You might go to the gym and find Vanessa just punching a punching
bag. I didn't know she had that in her. Vanessa:
It feels really good to just be... especially at night
when it's dark outside and I go to the gym, it's just around the corner from our house,
and I see other people out, and I think, "Oh, it's only eight o'clock, but other people's
days is not ending. It's going still." Yeah, it's really nice, I think, to be able to do
something like that, especially when you're around a lot of people all day. All right, next
question. "What kind of weather do you like?" Dan:
Sunny weather. I mean, really. Vanessa:
Yeah. Where we live, it's really mild. So our summers are hot,
but one hour south from where we live, in South Carolina where I grew up, it's like
10 degrees hotter all the time, in Fahrenheit. Dan:
It feels significant. Yeah. Vanessa:
Yeah. So here, it's pretty mild. We get a couple of days of snow in the winter,
but it's pretty good. You get a couple of weeks where it feels like spring in the middle of winter
too, so it's not unbearable, where you get snow in October and the snow doesn't melt until May.
We don't live somewhere like that, thankfully. Dan:
Yeah. To put a little more detail on it, I like
mild weather. I don't like anything too hot or too cold. Although a nice snowy day
is fun, but it's only fun twice. But yeah, a little bit of clouds in the sky to
give you some shade every now and then. Vanessa:
Yeah. Nice little breeze. Dan:
Breezy. Vanessa:
Yeah, not too many mosquitoes. Dan:
No mosquitoes yet. Vanessa:
Basically, perfect, that would be nice. All right,
next question. Going from outside to inside, "What kind of movies do you watch?" This is
what kind of movies do you watch on Netflix, but what kind of movies do you watch,
TV shows do you watch? Stuff like that. Dan:
Oh, TV shows too? Vanessa:
Movies, TV shows, media. Dan:
Yeah, we don't really watch movies. Vanessa:
I was trying to think of the last movie that we saw. Dan:
Man. Well, so I'm not the most fun person to watch a movie
with, I think. I tend to have trouble not making comments during the movie, especially
one-on-one with... Sometimes it's fun. Vanessa: Yeah. I can't remember the last movie
that we watched. Probably a kids movie. Dan:
Oh, I know what it was, it was the Bohemian Rhapsody one, the Freddie Mercury one. And I was
quiet for it, I didn't make too many comments. Vanessa:
How did you enjoy it? Dan:
It was okay. Vanessa:
Okay. All right. That's a glowing review from Dan. Dan:
I'm a bit of a tough critic, except for silly humor. So we
watched Bob's Burgers, a silly cartoon on- Vanessa:
We watched the Great British baking show. Dan:
... Hulu, and we watched The Great British baking show. Vanessa:
It's a tongue twister. Dan:
Yeah. And that's just fun. I don't
know, I like stuff like that. Vanessa:
Yeah, I think we don't really- Dan:
Let's have a little more low commitment too. You don't have to
watch a movie a really long movie. Vanessa:
Yeah. Especially at the end of the day, when our kids go to bed and it's eight o'clock,
a movie's like two hours. I don't want to watch something for two hours. So I think when our
kids get older and they want to watch movies, I will enjoy watching movies with them. But at this
point, they don't watch movies, so it's kind of- Dan:
Yeah, unless it's Thomas the Tank Engine. Vanessa:
It's not really a movie movie. So I feel like,
yeah, we don't really watch an awful lot of movies or TV shows, but I do watch
YouTube videos and stuff like that. Dan:
Yeah. I also don't like modern Hollywood movies. I just don't like
how they feel. I don't like the way the action... Something happens and it's not explained, and it's
too much... I don't know, it's not a clear vision. Vanessa:
Well, I have a recommendation for you, or a request
for you. If you have a movie that you love, let us know in the comments, and maybe
it's a movie that we could watch- Dan:
And just disregard my opinion. Vanessa:
... and we could enjoy. So if there's something that you think
we should watch, let us know in the comments because we're not the experts when it comes
to movies and TV shows. I think most of the movies that I like are not ones that I watch
regularly, but classic movies that I like, I don't know, like Forrest Gump, or Shawshank
Redemption, stuff like that. That's classics. Dan:
Yeah. The last time I went through a movie phase, the
movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- Vanessa:
In college? Dan:
Yeah. Vanessa:
15 years ago. Dan:
Was like a semi modern movie that
I thought was cool and I liked. Vanessa:
Yeah, I enjoyed watching that. We watched that one a lot in college. All right, let's go to our
next question, which is... oh, we only have two more questions, we're almost there. "What do you
do in your free time with the kids?" So there's a little bit of a weirdness to this question because
it doesn't feel like free time when you're with the kids. Free time is when it's quiet and you're
by yourself, and you can do whatever you want. But I understand, it means when you're not cooking,
or taking them to school, and stuff like that. Dan:
When you're just having fun with your kids. Vanessa:
What do we do as a family? What kind of free
time things do we do as a family? Dan:
Yeah. Well, for my children, even when you're having free time with them,
a lot of times it's child management. Like my youngest son, he needs some physical time, so
I'll wrestle with him, I'll throw him on the bed, and whatnot. So he needs a little bit of that. And
Theo will jump in sometimes too. But Theo's a lot more crafty. So he likes to do puzzles, and play
board games, and stuff like that... and color, color, color, color. And so I'll sit down and do
that with him a lot of times. Although you usually do that with him because the other one needs some
action, or he might go a little crazy on you. Vanessa:
So usually, Dan is throwing Freddie on the bed while I am coloring with Theo.
I would say, also, we do lots of, I would say, dirt stuff, like digging in the dirt, planting
things, pulling weeds, walking in the woods, and uncovering things under the leaves, this kind
of earthy play. Which is also, it's something that we like to do, but I think that that is usually
when we go outside and we try to be outside, like 80% of the day at home, we're outside a
lot. And we're really lucky, we have a nice yard and area that we can play in. The last couple
of days, our kids spent hours digging a trench and filling it with water, and pulling up the mud,
and making a mud wall. And at the same time, I was weeding the garden, pulling up weeds
and preparing it for the winter. And you were- Dan:
Sometimes, they help us a little bit. Vanessa:
Yeah, it's like being together in the same area- Dan:
It improves their mood to be outside as well. Vanessa:
Yeah. Yeah. I think when I want to do something fun with the kids,
usually, we'll go to a park that has nature, so like a creek, and you'll skip rocks,
and the kids will splash in the creek, and I'll be with the baby, or you'll
be with the baby, and we'll play. Dan:
Yeah. They love going to a creek, playing in water, in general. Vanessa:
Yeah. I think it's not really my favorite thing to do kid specific things, like go to a kid's museum,
or go to... I don't know, even a playground is okay. Our kids don't really playgrounds
that much, I think they're more into go see- Dan:
They go all around where the other stuff around the playground. Vanessa:
... go see the ducks by the lake. Dan:
They like swings a lot, though. Vanessa:
Swings are okay. Yeah, I think that those really busy type of
places where there's just so many activities, you could do painting here, and then
there's light shine things here, and there's animal puppets here, like kids
museums, I feel overwhelmed, my kids feel overwhelmed... Can you guess why I'm reading
the book The Highly Sensitive Person? And yeah, afterwards, they just cry, or fuss, and it's no
good. That's not fun for anyone. So generally, the slower activities, invite a friend to go on
a hike with us, that type of stuff is generally what I prefer to do. Yeah, that's about it.
All right, are you ready for the last question? Dan:
I'm ready. Vanessa:
Drum roll... "Do you feel like you're a different
woman after having three children?" Dan:
Oh, yes I do, as a matter of fact. After the
third, I finally became a woman. Yes. Vanessa:
This question is obviously for me, but they gave some very specific things here.
"Do you feel like you're a different woman after having three kids, more mature, more empathetic,
changes in your hobbies, media, daily decisions- Dan:
Estrogen levels." Vanessa:
It is true that they say that when a man is near
a baby, or you're around children, that your testosterone levels go down, and
you thus become more caring and tender. Dan:
One might say, womanly. Vanessa:
Ooh. All right. So yes, the answer is obviously, yes, I am a different
woman after having three kids. But I think there's a really beautiful, I don't know if
it's a proverb, or a phrase that I've heard, that when a baby is born, a mother is born too. So
it's like this page turning event. And I remember, when we were taking a birth class for our first
son, when I was pregnant with our first son, the teacher, she gave this idea of thinking about
your life, different events that you felt were a before and after. So maybe it was like your first
day of school was really impressionable for you, and you felt like that was a big change for you,
or maybe when you first went to high school, you thought, "I have my little friends and
it's fine." Then you went to high school, and there was a big school and you just felt
really different, or you move to a new city. Those are kind of these page turning events.
And she framed it as, when you have, especially your first child, a page has been
turned. And there's no going back, there's no changing. There's a lot of obviously physical
changes, and emotional, and hormonal changes, but it's also just you're a different person. You
are still you, but this page has turned, and you are Vanessa, the mother. So yeah, I think that's
the positive way to look at your life is not the same, you are not the same, but there's a lot of
these instances in life that change you, and it's your choice if they will change you for the better
or the worse, and so you try to make the most of it. So yes, I would say I'm a different person.
I'm still me, but I am a different flavor of me. Yeah. Do you think that I am a different woman
after having three kids, or just kids in general? Dan:
Certainly, kids. Yeah. After the third... Well, because pregnancy is so difficult for you, I
think you just seem like you have a burden lifted. Vanessa:
Yeah, not being pregnant is great. Dan:
Yeah. But as far as a third child... I don't know.
I can only speak for myself because it just feels like our family's complete. She's
like the little cherry on top to our family. Vanessa:
Oh, our baby. Dan:
Yeah, she's really sweet. But yeah, I can't say for the third
child that I've noticed a huge change in you. Vanessa:
Yeah. I think the biggest change is having your first kid. Just going from not being a mother
to being a mother, that's the biggest change. Dan:
Yeah, for sure. Vanessa:
All right, well thank you so much for joining
me for all of these questions. Dan:
You're welcome. Vanessa:
If you have other questions that we have not answered, this is your challenge, in
the comments, ask us a question about daily life, daily routines. Maybe you have questions about
life in the US, maybe you have questions about us personally that we can answer from our own
personal experiences. Leave that in the comments, and maybe we'll make another video like this.
And there will be a vocabulary version of this video coming out in a few weeks. So all of
the expressions that you saw come up here, I will be explaining those in that vocabulary
video. So make sure you subscribe to the Speak English with Vanessa YouTube channel so that
you can get a notification when that video goes live. Boost your vocabulary, your skills,
have great conversation skills, you can do it. And don't forget to download the free PDF
worksheet, here on Dan's face, with all of the great questions that you all asked today,
the vocabulary, the definitions, extra sample sentences so that you can use them yourself. And
at the bottom of this free PDF worksheet, you can answer Vanessa's challenge question, so that you
never forget what you've learned. You can click on the link in the description to download that free
PDF worksheet today. Well, thank you so much, Dan. Dan:
You're welcome. Vanessa:
We've been on a journey today. Dan:
Yes. It was fun. I liked going in blind. Vanessa:
Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, maybe we'll do this
again, let us know. Thanks so much, and I'll see you again next Friday for a
new lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. Dan:
Bye. Vanessa:
But wait, do you want more? I recommend watching this video next, a conversation
with Dan about education. Do you know why Dan did not go to school until he was 13 years old?
Find out in that video and I'll see you there.
