Addicts' Symphony (Addiction Documentary) | Real Stories

[Music] the London Symphony Orchestra is sharing the stage with a unique group of people [Music] each is trying to break free from addiction there have been brought together by one man James McConnell also a recovering alcoholic I was drinking everyday and I was drinking most of the day and that was the point I thought I am and it was a choice it really was a choice should I live shall I die and I wanted to live music became a big part of James's recovery no he wants to bring music back to ten others who've been damaged by addiction I'd need to crack open the vodka and try and get it down shopping a pill taking ecstasy all I care about is getting out of my head he's about to create an orchestra made up of Alex who can hopefully perform on stage with the best Austra of really nice people that have up their life besides the London Symphony Orchestra it's very very exciting they have eight weeks to overcome their musical demons it just makes me feel ill when I finished when you finish freaked out internally I freaked out can there conquer the fear of performing that for many was the cause of their addiction if I could enjoy to enjoy if I could enjoy I've decided I'm gonna do that stone cold sober and whatever happens happens I can't stop walking around just nail it to pull off a performance alongside one of the world's leading orchestras [Music] James's first job is to find his potential musicians there were nearly 2 million addicts in the UK for some fear of performing music drove them to drink in drugs [Music] before anxiety took over Jules was an exceptional classical violinist this is to say that I got the highest mark in the country at the time for great violin so I was just 14 how many gold medals do they offer every year one one and you got it eventually my teacher had sent me on to professor at the Royal Academy to help me tackle the next stage kind of thing but I just felt like I couldn't live up to that reputation that grows a gold medalist I'm used to being slated for my music but I would run yeah and being told I'm rubbish and you know one big statement that stays in my head from school is I'm not surprised your mum left you you're stupid that's from a team that is from a teacher what what really really mob sets me is when I see somebody of your caliber not giving yourself the pride that you really deserve yeah I long to help you to become what you can be jusers insecurities about the violin led her to start drinking to excess well I found strength that was it really it just made me feel better as a person I just felt confident inside [Music] I was suffering from withdrawal so I'd need to crack open the vodka and try and get it down and then when it when I got it down it was like you know temporary relief as a teenager marco was a star violinist but he hasn't played violin for nearly 30 years it's the weekend before his first rehearsal with the Attucks Orchestra and the violin he's borrowed has just arrived so a violin case [Music] [Music] yeah some that sounds pretty awful and he's belly flopped and it hurts and you don't know what to do next okay starts with it won't be good idea what pillow lace you can't make me play ten recovering addicts are about to start rehearsing for the next eight weeks near Trafalgar Square some have been clean and sober for years others for a few months I really want to see a change in these people I'm starting out as one thing and then becoming something else and maybe bring some of their musical demons to rest and it's one thing playing an instrument by yourself and that's fine that's great but then playing as a group then something really magical happens I'm an axe addict myself I'm an alcoholic I don't drink anymore music for me helped me regain my self-esteem and actually happiness so we're gonna play lots and lots and lots of music together and at the end of the process we're gonna put on a concert they'll rehearse at Sid Martins in the fields a world famous classical venue handli played here and so did Mozart James is joining forces with a team from the London Symphony Orchestra the creative director is Paul Richman two groups and each group take this melody and do something with it what you do too is entirely up to you you could simply Paul starts by giving them just a simple Russian folk tune for us he wants to see just how much they can make out of a simple musical idea when they work together it's not about me telling the participants what to do that's not how I work even though I'm a composer I'm here to get the group to make their own music I don't understand addiction but what I want to do is connect people if you are stuck think of an emotion that you want to express through the melody and then just Rachel works as a session cellist for pop bands but she's terrified of performing the orchestral music she loves the final weeks of my drinking took place in that flat there without roof gardeners and we're standing on the spot wearing ambulance actually came and picked me up ever since she was little her dream has always been to play cello in an orchestra I remember thinking if I practice hard enough and I am good enough at the cello and I get everything will be okay if I'm good she made it to become a star of the National Youth Orchestra then at the age of 14 she started having extreme panic attacks on stage the adrenaline was just going and going and going black spots just kind of came before my eyes I'll either scream or I'll walk off so I chose walking off it just made me sort of foul then and there that I was never gonna let that happen again and I was very relieved when I started drinking and it disappeared it was a huge relief Rachel wants to return to the orchestral hi she walked away from all those years ago the feeling that you get playing an orchestra you can't really recreate it in any other genre of music and somewhere along the line the fear and the anxiety about doing it just overtook I just couldn't do it anymore and I'm really I regret it hugely at the rehearsal the group are coming up with variations in the folk tune with help from the LSO double bassist Matt and violinist bindi [Music] when Marcos stopped playing violin age 22 his drinking continued he had a major relapse just last year I can't wait to get Michelle out of the house in the morning cause she was going to work get my son off to school then my day could start I'd be rattling and thinking for sake let's get out the house so I can go get my water and get on with my day and he will wait I'm on the telephone call and then you'll soon hear really quietly the front door go and he's nicked out around the corner and by the time he's come back five minutes later he's next half bottle of vodka jewels like Marco was nearly killed by addiction they said that my liver had failed and that I was just about to go into multiple organ failure Jules got sober and started a family but until now she's never attempted to perform classical music since her addiction took over [Music] by the end of the first session the Attucks orchestra have managed to produce their own take on the Russian folk chain I thought that James would have written something and we just play it and rehearse it and it's nothing like that at all which was a bit scary I just thought what the hell of I dumb thing is ever gonna be a complete absence of fear in my life the reduction would be nice about it I just I just know what they're like it's me you know I am an addict Jim's beat his own addiction to alcohol as a young man but 20 years after he stopped drinking his teenage son Freddie became addicted to drugs tragically Freddie died of a heroin overdose at just 18 years old he had wonderful sense of humor he was always saying very silly things quirky is what he was he had a fairly high IQ and he was assessed as gifted he started playing the guitar and then he started writing his own songs but it was at this time at school when he started taking an all-night trade it sort of spiraled down from the age of about thirteen till the day he died when he was 18 we tried everything in his mum we tried everything understanding and there was tough love he couldn't quite get it Freddie lost his own fight against addiction but he believed music could be the key to saving other addicts he was used to saving time when he'd be look into the idea of music as big an aid for recovery and I think if you if he hadn't taken my dodgy dose of heroin I think he might have got it eventually I think he might have got to that point music couldn't give you the same kind of feeling that drugs can you know but actually better [Music] because the onliest worked for me and because it may well have worked with him I cannot see why it wouldn't work for others the audix orchestra are watching an LSO rehearsal at the Barbican to see what is expected of them in six weeks time they need to be ready to take to the stage with these musicians it's a rehearsal of Schubert's unfinished symphony which brings back painful memories for ritual I've experienced similar up to that sort of level but I think somehow if you can translate that into the feeling of intensity which is a good feeling of intensity on that occasion with that piece didn't work so really wasn't unfinished [Music] the LSO's creative director Paul now wants them to work together on our Kestrel piece for the first time he's chosen for Valdez Four Seasons surely as if starting place so on your chart this is harmony from Vivaldi let's just try playing through the cards and then when he loved the Val D but it was kind of not for valley I mean not Vivaldi not today Oh have a nice alert and the more everybody around me enjoyed it the more kind of entrenched I got in a position of I'm really the undetermined not to enjoy this you know no inside you know poor Rachel had kind of been playing a bit of solo cello in the morning and that annoyed me and let me tell you it's not James and it's not Rachel it's definitely me I didn't enjoy this morning please don't take this the wrong way guys but I just think you kind of do like Tchaikovsky dying spawn yeah it's part of the process what she said to me I felt crushed and like and thought what have you done as an alcoholic I feel like I'm hypersensitive to start to everything especially to other people's perceptions of me and working within that group on Wednesday was actually a fun it really time to assist in their recovery each week after rehearsals the group stay on to share their experiences and support one another two therapists from the charity action on addiction Kirby Gregory and Claire Clark guide the sessions Oh God no we can't move on we can't and Paul's like no we need to quickly for all addicts relapse is an ever-present threat thin ice you know it's just how far you let yourself go don't always feel that my whatever it is I'm thinking is sort of worthy of because I've never felt that I've been as good as anybody else so I'll just sit here and you know and hide in a corner I could have done this a year don't tell me am i sitting at home and my parents drinking Andy has been cleaned from drugs for almost a year but he's relapsed too many times before so he doesn't yet have the trust of his 14 year old daughter in that door there there's an electrical cupboard and we used to just kind of stand in there and like do our drugs and kind of just conceal ourselves from the police you always used to find him like with his bear over there or something lost really strong cider and then you've got over his needles or Tim fool they're not nice at all you know I was waking up in crack houses begging people for a bit heroin to try and feel a bit better if I couldn't score then I was just so sick for that day it wasn't a nice room no ever come in here used to be my dad's own crack den my daughter kind of grew up within my addiction the impact has been horrendously negative and just horrible for her she doesn't trust me her stance on it now is that well you've been clean and then you've relapsed you know tell me what's going to be so different this time this dance about that close relationship again and thus making me feel a lot happier than myself as well and I really want that to continue [Music] Andy reveals to the group that just two days ago he almost relapsed the obsessions been on me it was actually on me to the point where I went to the bank got the money out had the phone ready I was nearly there I do all of it and I loved all of it and lots of it but it was the crack that I was honed in on went to the bank I thought I've got enough money I can get 100 quid worth but I just went boom and that's why it's been a great week as well because I didn't use and I didn't succumb to their because I don't care you know I mean the it buttons on e there and I will press it let's just play it all together by this speed to get the next session going Paul wants each player to warm up with their own mini solo okay this time we're gonna go round the circle and I want every single person in turn just to do a little tiny soloistic phrase on top of the texture let's start with the piano everyone else join in when you're ready and then Brian you do the first solo okay [Music] double bassist viv is a highly trained musician but she's finding the challenge particularly hard can see just by looking at them whether they're comfortable and that's where addiction comes from you know addiction comes from fear it's a fear about what's gonna happen tomorrow guilt about what happened yesterday we project that we're not good enough and we project how are people going to respond to us not being good enough cinematically [Music] because well you don't have to get it right while viv struggles former drug user Catherine is enjoying the musical challenge but later in the discussion Catherine reveals she's torn between practicing for the orchestra and the need to look after her mum had a very bad time because I've lost a lot of family members father both brothers and because my mother's in such a bad way all right she can't help the way she is because having lost two brothers my brother's the age of 81 I think most of the group believe in total abstinence from drinking drugs Catherine sees things differently I mean I stopped using heroin in 98 we know - methadone yes I'm on methadone I can have a glass of wine if I want but I just don't like the taste of alcohol anymore Catherine's stance is an issue for some members of the group did you say still occasionally drink yeah helped us arrested a group feel about that horribly addicted to everything I never used to be able to yeah for me to be in recovery substance for more jokes and I'll cause a joke I think as part of the concert they'll play a bit open symphony on stage with the London Symphony Orchestra it's a daunting prospect the first thing I want to say is don't freak out on me okay it's a new experience for rock drummer Andy Andy has just learned timpz okay let's do it so we go one two [Music] we're gonna learn what peers okay okay he means quiet yeah but thank you for your spirit Andy has promised to be honest with his daughter 48 hours after he revealed his near relapse to the group Leah comes to hear him play drums when I went to your mum's the other data's just felt a bit strange being in that area because that area is a really big trigger for me and went to the cash point I've got a hundred quid out of the bank yeah and I went over to see somebody and I knew that they had some crack cocaine on them but I didn't actually ask them suddenly a picture of you came in my head and I just thought I thought I can't do this to my daughter I didn't use but it was it was pretty close how do you feel about that but I want a crime I didn't do it I didn't do it you know the thought of you just stopped me totally in my tracks okay [Music] what wouldn't do it for you sweet if he didn't get a picture of me in his head then he would have he would have done it and if he done it I wouldn't want him in my life basically [Music] over the years Marco has seen a lot of people lose the fight with addiction normal people not addicts if you like they have all this stuff going on as well it's not the preservative addicts you know people do find life difficult I think the difference with people such as ask that stuff that we've got going on is once we get into difficult life situations there's always the danger that we collapse into dysfunction by acting out and drinking and using you know I'd love every single one of us to give a great performance and drift off into a happily ever after recovery sunset if you actually look at the hard facts and figures of addiction you know there's ten of us chances are two of us are going to die from this that's the numbers unfortunately from now on for our weekly sessions I would like you guys to bring the ideas to the workshops they can be as minuscule as five single notes with just four weeks to go until the performance with the London Symphony Orchestra at a host of individual fears surfacing Paul launches an audacious plan the Attucks Orchestra will create their own composition with each performer writing the part could be a rhythm or it could in fact be some words that you've written does that feel like an okay plan it could be something that you think of now on the bus on the way home bringing words and having to share that with everyone yeah right I don't know bring what you're comfortable bringing if we're gonna do our own composition has to be your own composition I want the audience in tears and for me that has to come from you guys your names are all in these bits a manuscript James can you choose me sure please oh these are the people they're gonna bring the ideas sweet and the winner is Rachel Melissa number three my magic number you'll be fine if it doesn't break them the challenge just might bond them together [Applause] actually I think it's a brilliant idea along next week that really scared and I think it scared Brian to being true addicts I imagine they'll blow it out of proportion and bring an entire symphony well actually all they need to do is select cloud 4 or 5 notes on the piano at random and bring them in or a couple of words but you can see that kind of alcoholic addictive process going on have taken these absolutely to extremes jim's wants to give a boost to their confidence before the big concert until he joined the Alex Orchestra Marco has been too afraid to play violin for as long as 30 years but in three weeks he needs to be confident enough to perform in public again I think I really do bring it up like chipping away a block of concrete it's almost like a man tree will get but it will go but I think that's incredibly positive you're filling me with hope at the moment this good Jim's knows that Jill's tooth needs to confront her fear of performance it's been 20 years since she's played a note of classical violin in public this is your piano one thing I said I'm never going busking again but this is not busking this is this is therapy this is sorry this is where you can just say well do what you like yeah I think we should have a go okay right and you've got a lovely sympathetic audience okay [Music] oh look what's the feeling tell me tell me tell me tell me what okay let's just try and get this clear panicky she's playing classical just makes me feel ill when I finish them when you finish yeah no it's before great your plane was real feeling and I just think it's about daring to go that extra mile and really feel it we are frightened of saying this is who I am this is who I am like me or loathe me this is who I am and I'm going to show you who I am if you don't like me tough do you see what I mean yeah so do you think it might be a good idea to play it once more would you be up for that yeah I've got yeah I'll go too I can't make it feel like this I've got to know [Music] well done how does that that was really lovely I sort of thought you gave a bit more than as well did you relax a bit more I felt did you feel happy with that one I had to do that cuz is it this unlikely sitting in letting a ghost risk laying a ghost arrest and how do you feel right this minute that's right it's not her it's the following weeks rehearsal and the deadline for the first batch of ideas everyone feels incredibly vulnerable when you volunteer an idea and say this means something to me I uh if I feel something about these words this melody Melissa and Rachel are brave enough to come forward first with theirs [Music] Briony who's just 25 is especially nervous up so high as a person but I just thought these people really do get where I'm coming from yes I don't from here it it says the world collides behind these eyes flickering love tender fire and inner warmth resides keep happy keep young not hollow like James's son Freddie bryony's life might easily have been over before it really started you'd be drinking and then and you take coke and and then later on in the night if you've got no Coke left you end up dropping a pill taking ecstasy doing speed and he could crazily go on like that for days I don't care about myself I had no respect for myself so I just I just was constantly chasing the hi it's always been sort of me against the world and I've kind of sort of our guests in a way learned to shut myself off from people six seven eight and starts [Music] the Attucks orchestras own piece is coming together but for Paul's plan to work everyone must contribute and so far they've is struggling with the idea you could bring us three notes no it's just five notes well eye on them what people produced last week wasn't just five notes they came with it with these lovely pieces of music however if mr. Ludwig van Beethoven had come and he just bought Dada Dada that would have been infinitely more valid to me I know [Music] I like these notes around here well then show me [Music] okay stop dark Dom bom-bom bom-bom bom-bom you've done it Hey so it's completely off the top of your head and it's it's fantastic long bomb bomb diggity [Music] I just imagine all the fear you'd built up over that and the reality it was nothing like as bad and now how do you feel really relaxed do you feel oh yeah I feel more relaxed now after next rehearsal ideas are pouring in catherine produces a long and polished composition [Applause] Catherine attend grid eat pianist aged 11 but her father died when she was just 18 and drugs soon took over when I started taking heroin that's really when I stopped playing but I discovered crack in 1996 when it was at its peak [Music] I used to finish work score come back home and spend the night pipe in half the sound of that Orchestra with me as a soloist just be absolutely be paradise [Music] but with continuing stresses about her mom Catherine uses the therapy group to discuss her difficulties yes it's to do with my mother I've found that I'm just crying so desperately like last week I was so depressed I had a couple of drinks now I know you all know that that's not my thing to me what I'm hearing is that alcohol is your thing because you used drinking last week to cover up feelings well two drinks I know but two drinks to it an alcoholic is a very dangerous thing yeah but I don't but I don't go I've never gone past that do you consider yourself an addict I mean I'm addicted to to medical my medication yes I don't I used to think I'd always have an addictive personality but I don't believe I have anymore Catherine is having dodged that more talking will help her I've talked about my drug life for so long and I've lost people and and I've you know to drink drugs whatever and I've talked about it and that's why I don't like groups when it's his turn musical beginner Andrew not only brings a tune to see minor he starts conducting the whole addicts Orchestra that's great Karla Katherine Arthur Ellis grey but professionally trend viv is still struggling to come forward with an idea everybody else's might call progressions melody and I'm just going to angrily play right these are the five from the news - take it or leave it you don't you want with it because I've done that and that's all I'm going to do because I just don't want to invest any more emotional heartbreak into it because I'm already feeling inadequate about it as it is and not like I should be here caroline has brought us a chin [Music] then viv is suddenly nowhere to be seen I have to go back for the lunch session viv just disappeared I think and went I think just decided she couldn't hack it anymore and went up to the railway station off to the train station well then singing because stupid they've said she did not want to give up the two days later she had a fall at her home she was forced to withdraw from the Attucks Orchestra [Music] like so many in the Attucks Orchestra James's son Freddie was talented but insecure on the fourth of October which is about seven or eight months before he died he writes I am playing a little gig on Wednesday obviously looking forward to it but the reaction when others hear my music is never enough I always feel as though people are lying and saying that they like my music out of sympathy that rings so many bells with a little group this is about three months before he died the heroin has reached my stomach and I have been sick I was smoking it earlier but it no longer gives me freedom or enjoyment such as it did before later I'm gonna inject for the first time music my family and by extension love are all the keep me going at all I feel lost a passenger as an empty station [Music] that's about as horrific as it gets and might happen in my mind that is so sad and so dreadful but ultimately he still mentions music music music music music you remember me [Music] the APICS orchestra is a week away from the performance with the LSO the rehearsal schedule is intensifying for next week we're going to be full-on every day I've always still s when the stresses and strains in a show you know they're putting themselves out there in that vulnerable position exposing themselves they're all gonna be okay I can't think about it I'm just gonna be in today because I think about next week I will possibly projectile vomit Shh I'll pass out or have a panic down with the concert looming Marco wants to put his worst demons behind him he's taking his wife Michelle to the school hall were his musical fear and his drinking first began music was the number-one priority in my life during my teens and early twenties I never conceived I would end up doing anything other than being a professional musician I thought that I might be able to crack it as a solo violinist but at the back of my mind I'm thinking if you manage to do that how are you gonna handle this fear stuff because it's gonna be even bigger I'm on one of these boards somewhere when we're doing school constantly we used to kind of hang out here before we used to go up there onto the stage I'd always have drinking there you know I'm 13 14 and 15 years old and I'd always have probably in those days a bottle of wine a bottle of sherry I've got up here and yeah so this place would be packed and I'd be a little thirteen-year-old boy drunk I think you know she I've got play now and he looks what are we standing up for me strings would be there for us there woodwind cellos double basses and probably have a solo to do as well will not be breaking it about that and you know what no I don't know how I got through it you know it's just so frightened all the time again play something now yeah if he can play on this stage again the hope is he can play anywhere [Music] three days into the final week of rehearsals their own composition is in chaos that like pulling me back freak out the quality of rehearsals is alarming Paul would you like to do all three of those again Andrew you okay yeah okay play me Rhonda to please I panicked today I thought once you know we had the whole piece on the wall and and we just couldn't remember anything I thought Oh God okay stop okay everyone take a deep breath and say okay go my only concern really is how will we cope with as a group if something does go wrong my spirits have gone downhill but I think everyone's just getting really exhausted this is just so challenging and to do it every single day tiring and the next morning another member of the group is missing protection from Rachel I was up all night until 7 a.m. feel utterly mad by mid-morning Rachel's panic attack is over but she's worried it'll happen again before the concert I won't be scared probably that's why I hate it feels like Russian roulette sometimes mm-hmm I don't know he didn't accept that that's the way it is and I struggle to accept that it's the day before the concert a chance for a final therapy session to share their anxieties but Katherine doesn't want to take part so is the group happy to continue without Katherine awesome yeah reasoning conveying a message that was given to me I didn't want to be in the group this constantly referring to recovery and when I'm in recovery oh it's so much of it I'm afraid I think of myself as a recovered there's part of me that's thinking because I'm nervous about tomorrow night do you know what I could really do isn't prepping at all awesome world occurred just to take the edge off and then I'll be okay I'm not gonna do that of course I'm not gonna do that [Music] but I mean in the other side were like no I would be if I was normal I'm coming in in the adits orchestra because I'm an addict I still feel like in a way that is really easy for me to just list all of the things have happened to me in my life but to actually dissect them and tell me how they make me feel it's like a completely different different thing in it so watching the group Katherine makes a decision yeah we heard you um perhaps the up there yeah so do you think it's a pressure about the musical pressure about the group the group right is that why you're leaving each impression about the group yeah why the group was not finished weren't you yeah so sorry everybody but I will be back tomorrow Katherine did not return she contacted Jim's to say that she felt she didn't fit into the group and that she did not really able to take part in the concert the addicts personal ideas have grown into 22 minutes of original orchestral music only it of the initial ten are there to play it from start to finish for the very first time [Music] but let's what say Bravo you know I'd quite like right now to go home and sit down and watch some TV and phone you all up and say I'm not gonna do the concert tomorrow night it's just a bit too scary for me but I've decided that I'm gonna do that stone cold sober and whatever happens happens and that's the bravery and the challenge of it and I might end up melting I'll do it performance day has arrived Sint Luke's in London is the home of the world leading London Symphony Orchestra and tonight the Attucks Orchestra and 25 eminent musicians from the LSO will take to the stage together we have a piece there wasn't a lot of sleep last night Jules you're gonna be number two on the outside and the violins okay and I'll keep my knees go and that will get works mud go don't want to do myself justice you know I don't want to get on there and freeze there's an outside chance that won't happen Rachel you're in the right seat well done excellent just feels a bit risky today I don't know why this brings about horrible memories as well if I could enjoy it it enjoy if I could enjoy enjoy stop the move on later on as the audience take their seats Freddie's sister and mom have arrived and leah is here to support her dad just like that I get it right you know especially Leah for her to just like be proud of me you know for me that's that that would be the best outcome that would have been the best thing I feel really nervous I don't think I've been this nervous in a long time just because I feel like the group of they feel really good together and they're confident when they're together but now we've got this whole additional dimension of having Ellis over here and I just wanted to completely nail it I can't stop walking around maybe I should just lie back on the floor again you guys have been the most amazing people I've ever met and worked with and I'm so proud of what you've achieved it's been such an honor to meet you and to work with you I'm just so we have eight are the most wonderful people I've got to know in the last few weeks people who have had their lives blighted through drugs through alcohol who perhaps have been very successful musicians and then getting them back on the road again through music I'm feeling really dread just trying not to lose it really my heart is going really really fast and I'm just thinking I got myself into this can I get myself out of this [Music] [Applause] [Music] huge swathe of adrenaline how am I going to control this adrenaline [Music] I'm absolutely it here I'm thinking I'm gonna get found out two months ago this group were brought together as strangers with only their destructive addiction and love of music in common now it's time for the world premiere of their own composition their moment to perform as the Avex Orchestra before an audience for the first time [Music] [Music] I [Music] [Music] I'm here now and doing this you know the sky is not falling in I just feel really encouraged and like I'd like it's alright actually [Music] we're all looking at each other kind of giving each other like little keys and we all knew which bit everyone else was frightened of know where we've been and we know that that's it's been a very difficult place [Music] I haven't ever felt as a musician like camaraderie like that ever [Music] I've never focused so much in my whole life [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] we all look to each other like down the line it was like none of us could believe what had just happened there are some things that words don't convey it's just a look I don't think we can believe that we've done that two months and arrived here [Music] [Applause] today's girls saying I wanted this one to be over and now it is I'm [Music] [Applause] they've given me something that I'd never thought I'd have so it's not such a lonely scary place out there [Music] when you get sober and clean and you know things things started fall into place [Music] [Applause] it talks about your wildest dreams and that's certainly one of them you know amazing it's fantastic the greatest natural height you can get just being in front of people and they're just the fear of cacnea pants so this I thought just being sober every day was amazing but so done that [Applause] this is their piece they need this exercises Julie I'm just surprised the content is just the cherry on a fairly large cake the cake itself is life and I think most if not all of them are wake up a morning feed him different and I just think they seemed happy that's that's me as victory and that's what this is all about I made it all worthwhile and that's what Freddie would say [Music]

Channel: Real Stories

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Keywords: timeline, Full Documentary, Channel 4 documentary, Amazing Stories, Full length Documentaries, 2018, Documentary, Amazing Documentaries, addiction, Documentary Movies - Topic, only human, 2017 documentary, Extraordinary people, addiction documentary, TV Shows - Topic, 2018 documentaries, BBC documentary, Documentaries, tlc, music, Real Stories, classical

Id: H8E2NWDgc8w

Length: 61min 43sec (3703 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 20 2018