ADAM COX SHARES NEVER HEARD BEFORE DETAILS ABOUT HIS SISTER LORI VALLOW DAYBELL

hello hidden gems we have a very special podcast episode for you today one that I would say John and I have been hoping for and uh waiting for and wanting for three years we are grateful to be interviewing two members of Lori valo dabel's family her brother Adam Cox as well as her uncle Rex Connor uh Rex is Lori's mother's brother so Janice Cox's brother is that right Rex and and you grew up your daughters I'll let you explain it a little bit more but your daughters are Lori's cousins they grew up and you were close thank you first off both of you for being here today as we have been discussing this case for three years we were honored to have a day Bell family member join us finally and and Heather Day Bell uh was such a valuable guest on our Channel telling us so much of what we've wanted to understand when it comes to this case and we're so honored now to have members of Lori's family with us today to answer questions so thank you so very much um Rex why don't you I think a lot of us know who Adam is and we have questions for Adam but why don't you Rex really quickly share how you're related to Lori and your background with Lori and then I also want to say Rex and I did meet at the trial you were there you were along with summer and Colby who appeared as as Witnesses and shared testimony you were there with your family at the trial tell us a little bit about why you decided to attend too um I I attended the trial with three of my four daughters um they needed they needed that experience they've basically grew up with Laurie not in the same town but a lot of interaction one of my daughters the one that didn't attend was Laurie's Nanny she was the nanny for um Tyler and JJ and more of a friend for Colby you know close to the close to the same age but um they were closed so we are not distant family I'm not I never have tried to distance myself from this at all um growing up we grew up in the same town as the Cox's as a favorite uncle of course always known as the favorite uncle right and so spent a lot of time with them um Lori was very little when I went away to college and so I wasn't as much in her daily life I didn't go to her little league games like I do with Adam or go to basketball games and things but still when I was in town we were we were close so um I'd say close family and I say that just to point out I'm not distancing myself not to say no more than than anyone um like everyone else none of us have been in the hearts the heart or the mind of Lori so I don't pretend to know that part of her I don't pretend to know her in the last uh five years that's the last time I spent time with her my wife and I uh stayed with her when we went to Hawaii she has a wonderful she and Charles were wonderful hosts we stayed in JJ's room he wasn't excited about it but we stayed in his room and and uh had a great time they're tremendous people um so Janice her mother my sister and I have always been close so close family and so both Adam and I had have known and loved Lori since the day she was born and none of that excuses what she's done sure thank you for sharing that how are you both doing right now and maybe my psychologist's husband can voice that question a bit better but you know we're in between two major things you know your sister your niece uh was just found guilty of murder of her own children and and uh and she's about to be sentenced she hasn't been sentenced yet how are you both doing go ahead um to be honest with you from you know when all this started it's just been a whirlwind um don't know how to feel I feel like I've been in shock for a long time um so I'm sure that I need therapy and part of the reason we're doing writing a book together me and Rex and we're doing a podcast together is for therapy um I'm not sure that um you know how much I need with therapy with getting my feelings out or all that but I I can tell you this I am definitely not the same person my personality I feel has changed over the last four years I used to be super happy and fun and funny and just easy going and over the last four years I can look back and see that I literally am not the same person so it's it's definitely changed me and I don't think anyone the family I'll talk about me specifically but we we're all going through the process as everyone is and everyone's doing it differently we don't know how to navigate this process we don't know how what the right demeanor is what the right treatment is for each of us um in my immediate family myself and my children my wife we talk things through and we do that a lot and the extended family we talk a lot not all family members get involved in that but Adam and I have been talking a lot the whole time um we saw things the same from the very beginning and and we have ever ever since so we think we're the ones that have common sense um but we just we processed a lot going to the trial of the great opportunity to process my daughters had to be there I said I'll go along to share expenses I don't even need to go to trial oh my goodness I was an idiot I was so glad I went into the trial and had that experience not an enjoyable experience by any stretch but what an eye-opener it was and so that's been part of it so yeah we all need to sort through it still it's got to be a lifelong process and everyone's going to do it a little bit differently we're just very supportive in the family and the trial made me um aware and supportive or want to be supportive anyone that needs to work through this and I think everyone touched by it makes you to some degree doesn't it offend all of us isn't it hard for everyone who hears that a mother murdered her children and hid them hid their bodies at a pet cemetery the way they did it that offends everyone doesn't it don't we all have to try to make sense and try to heal from that big grief that's tough tough on anyone everyone I think Rex what you just said doesn't that offend anyone um yes there is a story actually that Brian enten reporter Brian enten shared on our podcast about a moment at the trial where you Kay and Larry woodcock uh Tammy dabels aunt me I was there I believe Justin Lum came into the room we were all in the same room breaking bread we there was a break we were waiting for the verdict and the woodcocks invited us all into the room I remember you were standing you offered your seat to me but Brian enten brought this moment up on our podcast as a moment that he won't forget in the trial because he said um it's like everybody came together and I think what you just said it shows that like everyone's offended by this it doesn't matter if you're related to Lori if um you or JJ's grandparents if you're a reporter like I was or Brian enton or Justin reporting on it or Tammy dabell's Aunt like we're all offended we're all hurt and we're all trying to make sense of this so thank you for sharing that and that was a moment that reporters won't forget all of us in that room together sharing lunch sandwiches I believe um yeah I I just got a quick uh follow-up for Adam here on um of course the therapist in me has to has to follow up on this question but you Adam you mentioned that you feel like you've changed quite a bit um could you maybe talk a little bit about how you've changed so there's there's really kind of a couple questions here how do you think you've changed and have you thought about what some what led to some of those changes I just feel like I'm um not as my my outlook on life I think has changed because when this all happens to your family this is the kind of stuff that you see on TV that happens at other people's family there is no way in my in a million chances that I think that anything like this would have ever happened with my family so with that perspective I just feel like there's some days that I don't even want to get out of bed and some days I wake up and I feel like oh my gosh I hope that was a nightmare and I wake up and I realize that that was not a nightmare so where I used to before this happened wake up I had you know all this kind of like fun things in my mind to go do and this and I don't know I just feel like it's just been a lot to take in and I mean I still try to wake up every morning and go to work or or go play basketball or pickleball and try to live my life like I'm supposed to live it but I just feel like I don't have that that that fun or that you know for something that's that I used to have that I don't feel like I haven't and I don't know what that is so it uh not to not to put words in your mouth here but I mean it does sound a little bit like you're describing some type of depression Maybe yeah I think anybody in my situation would be depressed I've never been a depressed person yeah I don't so I don't know what it's like to be depressed but when I tell people how I feel they're like oh well you're suffering from depression well maybe that's the case but I don't know right right okay yeah well thanks for yeah thanks for sharing that that makes sense it doesn't make sense um Adam you know you throughout this case you've been um to our listeners so so to our our listeners our gems as we call them our hidden gems you've been sort of a sane voice in the mix uh even when you haven't wanted to be even when foyer documents are released with your voice and you didn't think that those would ever be released to the public and then you know we're all listening to what you're saying um you know you you stood up for Charles you uh the day he was killed that trip you uh according to a foia document a telephone call that we of yours that we have on our YouTube channel you told police that they needed to investigate Charles's death that their their concerns where are you now with the family I guess is that's my first question then maybe I want to ask about each of these experiences is that so if that's okay sure well going back to when all this was going down um you know I saw a change in Lori and I tried to go to my parents and my sister and say there's something wrong with Lori we somehow somebody's got to help her and I don't know I've never lived by my family because I've been in radio and I've traveled the United States and working different radio stations but all my family seems to like Alex and summer and Lori all like live to you know close to each other so I feel like when I do come to visit or or whatever um that you know I noticed some changes in Lori and the things that she was saying so I just you know stressed some things to my mom and dad and was like Hey you know something's wrong with Lori we got issues you know and they're response was well she's a grown person you can't just force her to go to a therapist or whatever um so they kind of just blew it off and so once Charles died that's where everything's everything's split and what I mean by that is I I had come to town with Charles had flown me out to Arizona so him and I could get Lori in front of a um a church member who is this called the stake president just to have him talk to her and have her tell him the things that she was telling me and telling Charles because I think she was lying to obviously we found out that Lori lied to everybody about everything for a long time and a lot of people believed her lies including you know people at church or even therapists that she went to and she got cleared by saying that that she's fine so I think she deceived a lot of people but the intent that Charles had told me is like Lori goes to the temple every single day for five hours and there's something wrong with that and there's got to be a balance in life if you go to the gym and you see a guy that has been there eight hours and he's a big muscle guy you know that he's not in Balance same thing with person who's on the couch for eight hours reading a book they're not doing anything physical they're out of balance same thing with Lori going to the temple for five hours every single day you're supposed to go to the temple once a week for an hour so if that yeah I mean once a month would be great um but when you start going down that road and then you she got the cable took off she she quit watching cable TV because she didn't want any bad things uh coming out of the TV so she really went to an extreme so with that behavior um I Charles was like something is wrong with her now if we can get her Temple recommend taken away then I think that she can snap out of this that's what Charles told me I was like whatever I can do to help so Charles started calling everybody in the family before this happened and so why he was telling everybody you know hey Lori's got some stuff going on we need to you know every Lori told everybody in the family to cut Charles off and everybody did except for me because I first of all I think anytime somebody says cut somebody off that's a red flag why are we not listening to two sides of a story why are you only listening to one side so I listen to everything Charles said and everything he said made sense to me so I continue to be Charles's outlet for him because everybody else was cutting him on so that was the that was the plan was for us to get Lori in front of the stake president and have a conversation obviously none of that ever happened so um so my at that when Charles actually died that really cut it there because I told my mom and dad Lori and Alex murdered Charles now I didn't have any facts I didn't know just the feeling that I had and the way Charles died and all these things um and nobody wanted to listen to anything I had to say apparently Lori lied to everybody in my family saying that me and Charles and Brandon and my son were out to kill Lori and so Lori started this whole thing where she was telling people hey whatever was happening to her whatever she was doing she was blaming other people of that happening so um so that at that point my family and I were I I they cut me off they kicked me and my son out of their house we went back to to Kansas and at that point I was feared for my life I've watched you know through the window I didn't know what was going on because I felt like Alex killed Charles and he could come kill I felt that they were up to something crazy and I didn't know really any of the the story behind it so yeah I was cut off for my family and and you know they again they cut Charles off and then once again Lori's command was don't talk to Adam cut him off so I was cut off um are you are you doing better now I mean your family's been through so much since then are you guys yeah well I moved to St George to take a radio job it was the craziest thing because there was three other radio stations cities that I could have went to and I chose St George um in the radio station well my parents lived here and I thought oh my gosh this is not going to be good my parents live there my my wife at the time was like I'm never gonna move there I don't want to be around your family I'm done so we ended up getting a divorce but I think that me moving here for the first eight months we were still not talking or acknowledging each other and once they found the kids uh Uncle Rex had called me and said hey let's go talk to your mom now because now there's proof that the kids are dead so Rex was a uh came over and picked me up and took me to my mom's house and he was kind of a mediator between my mom and dad and me as we were trying to figure out and mend all the different things so that's when about eight months after living here I started talking back to him and my sister summer we started talking again as well so we're still doing that I mean my thing is I was telling Rex I have to forgive people because I can't live with hate inside me or just kill me and tear me up so me forgiving and trying to move on is the way that I feel like I have to to survive it makes sense uh it also makes sense that Rex is a family mediator I'm seeing that I'm seeing that Trend John anything you want to say I have more questions for for Adam but the way John and I divided he's sort of the emotional guy right and and I'm more of like that let me get this fact and I want this this detail but John anything you want to see well I guess when you when you talk about it that way Adam do you feel like you have you have you guys fully repaired your relationships or is there still some distance there with your family well it's never going to be how it was because before all of this we were just such a tight group yeah um I think that I try to see my parents every Sunday we go to we have dinner sometimes they come to my pickleball games my sister summer I've been to her house a couple of times and we're trying to repair everything but it's it's just not going to ever be the same um and and at the time I was like I don't know who to trust I don't know who was doing what I didn't know who was involved with what so I just you know and then when the facts come out my mind just starts wandering again and trying to figure out this but I think because of how hurt I was about being cut off it's really hard for me to go full go all in again yeah that makes sense uh and this I guess this would be a question for for both you guys Adam and Rex but and maybe you can't speak to it but how did your family react to the verdict into the outcome of that trial and and I want to point out that Jerry and no no you guys did not attend Rex attended with your daughters and then of course summer was there for it for a couple of days as was Colby they were testifying I just want to preface John's question with that yeah well I don't I don't mean how did they react at the moment of the verdict I just mean in general is it was it something do you feel like the family was kind of prepared for that outcome or oh oh oh yeah we all everybody who's we're all we all understand what Lori did and and Alex and Chad we understand exactly what they did and there's no excuse for any of it and none of us thought think that you know you're either going to get the death penal you're going to be in life for for you know prison life for the rest of your life but those are the those that's what happens to you when you do what they did so we're we're all 100 in on that like and none of us think that it's safe even have Lori out of jail because of her mindset of how she's thinking she's like you know so I think at least for me what about you yeah I think everyone in the family recently I've talked with a lot more of extended family members and first of all no one was surprised by the verdict no one feels like Lori shouldn't get that verdict um because that's the worst one there is yeah if there were a death Builder on the table people were mixed with that but not not because they were um opposed to the death penalty but some family members I'm sharing something that family members might not like so I won't say who it is but they said no the death penalty is too good she needs to wake up every day with what she did for the rest of a long miserable life and they transfer her to a prison in Turkey was the question um just because that might be worse so no the family wasn't surprised and um while everyone loves Glory you know love that's unconditional but relationships are not and relationships are conditional everyone recognizes what she did and that she needs to experience the consequences of what she did okay thank you Adam one thing John and I discuss a lot on our podcast and I'm sure you've heard it discussed uh you could say any any the Netflix documentary talked about it everything that really delves into this crime discusses it um whether Laurie changed or whether Lori was always this person and you mentioned in with the Charles you know the day Charles was killed that weekend how she was lying to everyone even people in the war and nobody really understood that she was always lying and um and you know this is a question for Rex 2 Rex I also want to point out that on uh Chris Cuomo news Nation it was one of the shows we were on back to back and you stated that uh you didn't believe that she was just completely uh brainwashed that you felt that this was The Perfect Storm and Adam you've said that so just setting the stage here for this question um on the on the police uh it wasn't an interview you called the police Adam but on the police call you are telling people a little bit about your sister you're saying this needs to be investigated Charles needs to be investigated and you even mentioned that she might have plotted possibly you implied to kill Joe Ryan um that's something that people have always wondered about and I'm also wondering I mean is this something that you did you start to see that your sister had always been this person or do you feel like she changed I also know that Zach in his interview with Justin Long mentioned that she did shift and there was some change in her reading material and John and I have seen that in evidence that there is definitely some changes in her um but I guess I I'm asking two separate questions here now the broad question is did she change were there things that were always part of Lori and then the second question is help us understand what you said in that police interview did she and Alex plot to to hurt her ex-husband well as what I remember with Lori coming to the family and being so upset saying that Joe uh molested Colby and Tyler and that there was proof on his computer and there was a huge debate on fight and police were involved in all that so um you know as in talking with Tyler and talking with uh JJ when they were kids and stuff it seemed like that's what happened now I don't know if that actually happened now or not but at the time we all believed that that happened and I think as family members you know people you know when something really bad happens to a family member by somebody else um somebody's like oh that person's got to pay and so with Lori talking and Alex talking it was like oh yeah they were just like well we need to take him out and you know he doesn't deserve to live and when you hear stuff like that you don't think that's reality you just think people are blowing off steam and that's in any family or any friendship or anything you've you've heard those before with other people so I didn't really think anything of it until Alex actually went to a place and tasered Joe um you know at some point and went to jail for a year uh for tasering Joe which then believes that Lori and Alex were in cahoots and had some kind of a plan so um I do I think that they did it I mean 50 maybe 50 not I guess the police said that he died of a a heart attack or whatever it was I don't I'm still not 100 convinced of that either I I don't know how they did it if they did do it but that's still on the table for me as far as not knowing uh not believing that that was the way that they because if you think about a pattern if that was the first thing that happened with Lori and Lori and Alex are like oh we got rid of Joe because of all that stuff and we got money from it because they were getting money from Joe's dying Lori did entirely good then the next thing is Charles they killed Charles nothing happened to him they didn't get thrown in jail the police did a terrible job of investigating that they didn't even call me three months goes by I finally had to call them and say do you guys not want anything why wouldn't I be called that was the last person to talk to Charles when he was alive he's like why am I not why are you you know it was terrible anyways I won't go off with that but all right yeah yeah I get irritated that that happened but I think there was a pattern there I don't know when Rex and I started talking about a pattern he's like you know what there is a pad that is a pattern that Charles died nothing happened to Lori and Alex and they got away with it and they were getting money again so I feel like if if it did start it could have started with Joe not just with Charles because they felt like they got away with Joe then they got away with Charles and I think in Lori's head as she's saying that you know people are zombies and all this stuff that God is telling her that I'm providing a way for you like Lori talks about in the scriptures that other God had done that for other prophets and things so I think when we talk about this there's so in our podcast we talk about all kinds of there's there's a huge onion and every time you pill one onion back there's something else behind it with this case so truthfully yeah so yeah there's just there's a there's a lot I'm I'm grateful that you're going to be podcasting and I'm grateful to know that that you know it's you and Rex both you're you're going to be co-hosts is that right and uh by the time we release this interview your podcast will be up and so we can uh I'll head there for more I'm looking forward to to hearing I could I could give you a list of questions people have for you Adam I won't make you answer them all but we'll be going to your podcast to hear more and and I want to say though so so to to kind of clarify that or put this question to rest when you told police that you were speculating like all of us well gosh there's a pattern that we're all seeing so maybe maybe not but please need to know this is that fair to say yeah for sure John anything you want to say right now on that issue I don't really I think that they explained it very well I I did want to ask what's the name it just so that listeners can know what's the name of your podcast and where can they find it the podcast is called Kylie and JJ's Silver Linings and it will be up on all the podcast platforms uh probably tomorrow afternoon the first the first few episodes of it okay great great um maybe a follow-up on I think you were getting at this question Lauren but you know it's something we've talked a lot about between us is how much did Lori change when did she start changing was she that way before you know Brax you talked about that on Cuomo a little bit and you kind of said well you felt like some of that the term you used was evil some of that evil was there before and then I know Adam you did an a e show it's been a while huh but what was that a couple years ago now you did that interview and you really you it seemed like you were pretty strong with your opinion that the Lorry was very much a different person after meeting Chad and so you know it's I think people were really interested in sorting that out I mean who who is this person and what happened to her you know and so um maybe you guys could speak to that a little bit I'll take the first shot that uh Adam talked about patterns and the first time I noticed a pattern was when I received the email from Charles they sent to several family members saying hey Lori's saying weird stuff look at what she has and I looked at the attachments of Charleston that was the version that is in public record now of all the people that are light and dark and what their rating is on the light and dark scale and very prominent people that are light or dark Etc and I thought I know this stuff this this stuff was around back in 1990 and I was had some good friends that got involved with it then and it just it seems to happen every generation and it's the same stuff this Chad and his group weren't even original they just copied stuff from back in 1990 even plagiarized some of some of the books and the material from the books so it was nothing new to me I saw I thought I don't know you know Charles if Charles and I I wasn't in touch with Lori's I'm part of the cut off team I'm sorry to say but I did ask Janice I said so what's going on she said oh Lori's found you know evidence that Charles is having Affairs Etc so none of us are talking to Charles I thought I had the flashback to Joe Ryan like like Charles I like Joe Ryan like Charles and you know I'd spend some time with them and and when the news came out about Joe Ryan it was Lori saying hey I found Kitty porn on Joe's um laptop and you know they had this big ugly fight and looked like that was happened with Charles and Laurie so back then with the Joe Ryan situation I just accepted things at face value and so I said wow if that's not a pattern and the more so right away the more you look into it the more you see just everything lining up into a pattern just like Adam said okay she got by with it back then doing the same thing she's doing the same thing now and the red flags are all over all over that situation so you would question you would question the accuracy of what she was saying that's that's the polite way to say it I guess I guess the term wine has been thrown around a few times but yeah yeah so she's a freaking liar it's not good on a podcast problematic like you did okay a liar is a liar right that's what we a liar's a liar um anything else John sorry I didn't mean to interrupt well you wanted to know about Laurie's change or whatever yeah like when when you know what do you feel like there was a specific moment when she started changing um were there some red flags is it when you you know you you obviously grew up with her were there were there things before way before all this that may have indicated you that there were some problems ahead or you know those types of things we go back to patterns again again with Laurie um you know in high school she ended up uh marrying a guy named Nelson who uh was known of doing drugs and he got Lori on drugs and Lori was doing drugs with them and then they ended up getting married and my parents are like you're not marrying him she goes too bad I already did and then put a string restrainingly uh order on my parents um and then um two weeks or three weeks or four weeks later she came back to the house and apologized and got out of that marriage and then ended up marrying another guy named will who was Laurie came to Austin Texas I was doing a radio show there and she said can I live with you and I said sure So she got a room I gave her one of my rooms in my apartment well she worked at the chess King at the Barton Creek Mall in Austin Texas and she met this guy will at the chess King and next thing you know she brings them home to my apartment and I walk in and she's like hey this is Will he's going to live with us and I was like what was my apartment not anymore and then real stuff says like don't worry about anything man I got I'll get groceries and I was like oh my gosh so I told the I told Laura he's like that's not going down so they left um and the end of that story was Will used to abuse her and beat her up all the time I remember one time she was when she was pregnant with Colby she called me crying because will had beat her up and she was at a gas station at two o'clock in the morning and I came and picked her up uh so and then she ended up marrying Joe and that didn't work and then Charles and then Charles died and then I don't know anything about Chad day Bell I know nothing about him I didn't even know who he was or anything um so you know the pattern of hurt marrying and doing up that's one insecurity and when you look at Lori and a lot of people know that Lori was very pretty and had a great personality and all these things and in my opinion when I was younger I was like she's going to marry an NFL quarterback and live a life you know in my mind I thought she's just gonna meet the the best guy and they're going to be married if they're going to be a great couple that's that was my impression and it was completely opposite of what I thought was going to happen to her [Music] you know growing up I probably didn't because I didn't really you know pay attention if there was signs um just over the last five years for me the change was her reading these books and listening to Julie Rose podcasts and wanting to be special and wanting to be somebody that you know that the Lord can call on to do something she wanted a mission so she created her own mission because the Lord didn't give her a mission and and so I think little by little by little over an amount of time as she's reading scriptures and then interpreting in her head how can I you know make this me I think she started doing that and then when she met Chad it's like pouring gas on a fire he was like oh well here this is a dark spirit and this is a light spirit and we've been married before in two different lives and like all this stuff hit her in the head when she was right you know when she was like trying to tell when the end of the world was and when these call outs are going to be and when the Lord is coming and I'm special and pay attention to me and then Chad paid attention and gave her even more and then that turned into this disaster that was that was pretty well said um yeah uh well go ahead John like uh he answered my question I I guess I guess one thought that came to my mind was well there's been there's always been this innuendo or talk even at like in Chad Chad texted Lori I called him the love tax but he was texting her you guys I'm sure you guys have looked at those about possible the goddess right now and um you know there one there's a couple of parts in those texts where Chad gives her a blessing and he like lays hands on her and there's this talk of trauma and all this trauma that Laurie's gone through and and it's always to me it's always been a little bit of a mystery you know because it could be like you just said Adam maybe it was some of the abusive relationships she was in seems like she was in a lot of bad marriages but but is there something else I think there's always this implication that maybe it was something from your family or I don't know like it's it's always been kind of this mystery that seems to keep reappearing about how Lori the the she implies that she's she's had a really bad past and a really difficult childhood and you know and it's something we've never really been able to make sense of because it's so vague but would you have do you have any thoughts on that not really I mean like I said me and Stacy and Alex were older and then Lori and summer once we left the house they were you know teenagers so I mean if you're talking about you know starting to do drugs and speed and then you end up in an abusive relationship and get beat up when you're pregnant and then you find out that you and you're believing that your husband is watching Kitty molested both of your kids and it's your fault that that you allowed him to come into the house to molest you that's enough trauma in my head if I'm Lori and that's what she's talking about that's what I would think that she was talking about okay yeah I don't I think we don't we we haven't really known what she's talking about we just know that she sees herself as having having had a difficult life and experienced some trauma and that would make sense to me um but sometimes it seems like there's some implication that maybe it started before that even I know how old was she when she married she was a teenager yeah 18 17 or 18. yeah this is the first time I'm hearing about the drugs too that's interesting yeah um yeah well do you know when did she when was she starting to use drugs was it around the time she met her first husband yeah yep he introduced her but I'm sure was he LDS no oh that's interesting too I mean no one until your parents couldn't have been thrilled with that well yeah and they could they were concerned maybe she was doing drugs and she was with a guy that was a drug dealer and just it's just yeah odd odd behavior okay yeah did you so but what about I mean anything from childhood I know there's a bit of an age difference but um I mean is there anything she could be referencing from prior to that that you can think of I don't I don't know it's always been something we've wondered about I I remember one time uh I guess one of her teachers I think I heard uh my mom say something about one of her teachers in fifth grade um maybe molested her because he got arrested for molesting kids at the school or something so okay yeah that could that I mean I don't know enough about that to to comment on it but I do remember hearing something about that that would definitely qualify yeah that's awful yeah wow okay interesting yeah we we didn't we didn't know about that so I mean which isn't to say that it happened but right but a teacher that apparently was is a convicted sex offender that had interaction with Lori I guess raises questions thank you for mentioning Julie Rowe I've also mentioned uh in our podcast Mike Stroud I've mentioned the book visions of Glory that I read multiple times I'm very curious at the books uh I made a note here Rex the 1990s books I was like what are those um that they copied um and actually Rex before what what are those books before I continue what the 1990s books an old man to uh bring something out of his memory and it's not time feebos yes there's so much in there you know LDS books LDS Second Coming books are you talking religious uh not LDS um I think one of the authors of ronanville Diaz but Damon Brinkley wrote a book that I remember I remember well because and that's I saw it again when I looked at what I chat I didn't read any of Chad's book as I looked through one that caught my eye uh but Damon Brinkley and you have to go back and and try to search to uh remember others back then I know Betty Edie was a big person on a near-death experiences but uh I don't know that she's connected to what I saw again this time around I'll have to get back to you on that like the groups they tend to prepare people a voice of warning they're religious in that sense that the people that would go to there the people following this movement or whatever you want to call it um most of them had religious background most of them were LDS that's why I knew them the people I knew that I was friends with that got involved in the group heavily were both members of the LDS Church okay just for like the extremist like stuff that's not necessarily talked about over the pulpit at church right but people taking things a little bit eventually this group today that most of them got excommunicated uh all my friends did another one came close didn't get excommunicated and you know he he went as far just just funny Side Story he went as far as cashing it all his Investments all the Investments for his kids said my kids will never go to college second coming is coming before it then so he cashed it all in and um very similar to the same group and I'm not saying everyone that went to prepare people or a vowel is is like that but the circumstances are very similar there's certainly there's certainly things being taught there consistently I hear you um and what and what and just to clarify too Zach mentioned a bit of the books she was reading in Justin loves interview and it was really interesting anything else Adam you want to kind of say that you saw her reading or delving into oh well you know she just started sending me messages and calling me to start reading these you have to read this book you have to read this book you have to read this book and first of all even though I'm an author of a book I don't read a lot of books so uh I blew Lori off a bunch when she was trying to get me to read these books and every time she'd send a book to my house it would just sit there and I get a call back did you read that book it's so good I was like no I haven't I haven't read it yet and you could hear the disappointment on the other end of the phone of her not because I didn't read the book and then also with my brother Alex who got involved with Lori and Chad um he started listening to Mike Stroud uh podcast and I was like I don't know who Mike Stroud is and they wanted me to go to one of these uh prepare the people meeting so I was like look two hours of church is right at my limit I'm not gonna go to a four hour Fireside after church for this and it's like I'm I'm out I was out every time somebody tried to invite me to do something I'm done I'm out so I think I disappointed Lori and Alex because I didn't listen to any podcast because I didn't read any books um and because of that I was in I didn't know anything so apparently that's what you know I guess she had said to other members of my family that she didn't know the deeper darker sort of teachings that she's learning in this about Portal had you ever heard of portals portals yeah yeah just like in Star Trek oh you got it I mean well I'm reading a book right now that mentions portals visions of glory and it was written in 2012 so and I know that that's the book Lori was reading uh in in Hawaii so it's interesting you know when when police came to see her but um I'm not really into fantasy stuff so I I if it's if it's a true story about somebody they were Underdog and they overcame something I'm all in but fantasy stuff I I try to it doesn't interest me that much well that's a question for John and maybe that's a question about this whole case or this this crime too right is it's based in fantasy that they thought was real isn't it I mean right John now this is where I Look to Him help me understand this babe I think that you know just in listening to Adam talk a little bit about it it sounds like you're much more grounded in facts maybe even some of your siblings I mean what that which is kind of an interesting Dynamic I mean what um was was Lori always more kind of involved in fantasy than than some of the other siblings or I mean do you remember those types of things growing up not really I mean I she my my thing with Lori is I think she wanted to be somebody special in the church and I don't think that she was getting the the special things that she wanted and so she I think she made them up that she got these I saw Jesus in the temple all right I me and Moroni I talked to him and we're married now like she wanted validation that she was somebody special and so I think that's just one of the many things in this onion that me and Rex have been peeling back on our podcast about that's just one small thing that started this whole transition of Lori going down this road and bringing people with him thinking that she was supposed to gather 144 000 people it's her and Chad's job to do that she's got Alex involved she got I guess all these other people that Chad already had involved and she was trying to recruit family members and friends and anybody that would listen to her so I think she was on a mission to have people go oh Lori you're you're awesome you're I can't believe believe that you're the chosen one or whatever but it just you know could you see some of that in childhood in other words did you see this need for attention when she was a child or okay well the funny thing is is like I'm the middle child I'm on the radio I need attention too oh but Lori was the righteous to me in in the in the family you know tree um and but she was very into you know wanting attention and when you're in a family of five everybody's starving for attention and so I think with with Laurie wanting to you know people to notice her or maybe she's more into like whatever people say she'll just go do to to please him or whatever I don't I don't know those facts but there was one incident where Lori and summer were out in the front yard and you know family members you know siblings fight all the time there's always something going on so summer Lori were known to fight you know sometimes and um summer Lori are about to fight and I'm standing out there I was like what are you guys fighting about and Laurie's like don't worry about this I I can handle this and summer was the baby and she was a scrappler she would scratch all my friends that came over and Claw their arms and you know she flipped Rex off when she was what three three years old two years old so she was as a baby I'm sure she had that the whole baby mentality of a family of like I gotta do everything so her and Lori are about to fight and they've they fought before and Lori told summer look and lauriewood just got baptized and I think this is when she got baptized she felt more spiritual she learned who Jesus was and all this stuff that she told summer if you slap me or hit me I'm just gonna turn the other cheek and you can hit that one too and summer welled off and smacked her face and Lori turned and you could see that that was she was not happy about that and said okay summer that's okay I'm gonna do what Jesus did and summer went with the left to the other side and hit her again and so Lori walked off crying and and but that was something that maybe you know back then she was doing something that nobody else in our family was doing I wasn't going to tell Alex hey go ahead and hit me I'm gonna turn my other cheek like that just didn't I didn't think about that I probably maybe I should have but I didn't that's a great story yeah um John well and so if it was around the time she was baptized so she would have been eight is that roughly her age at that time I assume yeah I mean it actually shows a fair amount of restraint right like she's yeah she's able to kind of control her react natural reactions to that type of situation so yeah that is interesting yeah let me offer something here and and please Dr John you you can talk about this combined with with what Adam said a little bit earlier we all had the dark and light voice because we all had the internal struggle of right and wrong Lori was very I think aware of the light and she I believe really wanted to be good there are several instances in their life growing up where she liked this one where she's really trying to be good and she had good Role Models around her to do that and in the family and and so she wanted to do that but um Adam described it so well she just took off with this what was in her mind it was light but like all of us there's dark there and she just made allowance for the dark to fit it into her fantasy John can Dr John can talk to us about cognitive dissonance we all do that with whatever we want to do something we know isn't right we adjust our life so it's okay for us and it fits in and until we allow our conscience to stop that we're just going to keep doing it well Lori had this propensity yeah the the light is the right thing and but when out of balance with it and just let that whole story built that whole cognitive dissonance or that all the story she just kept fitting it to fit and fitting it together tell it overwhelmed her and hopefully none of us go that far but we all have that same light versus dark struggle going on within us do we not yeah yeah I agree do you Rex do you remember any interactions with Lori from when she was younger from childhood that stood out for you in terms of attention seeking Behavior or you know sort of the thing that Adam just talked about I mean any stories there for you and Rex your your daughters were close to her right here so yeah yeah we're around her a lot yeah they're a close family reunions Etc and like I said one of my daughter's babysat for or was her nanny and um they were close we had a lot of a lot of interaction but when she is younger and we didn't necessarily live by them so so it was more in the teen years and early adulthood that they had that my daughter said all their interaction but I can remember early on the reason I remember this it's a family classic and our family we have things that just stories we bring up time and again and we'll relate to this because it's something you see all families right it's something you saw in one of the specials I can't remember which one but Barry in that special for his dad um talked about kind of longingly well I remember the time when Lori said that I was the most spiritual person we knew that she knew Netflix this is the Netflix documentary John's in that and I have this written down as a question go ahead keep going yes and so the reason I remember that the reason it's a family classic is because that is such a joke for all of us and when it happened Janice ran around telling all of us to get a big laugh that would always get a big laugh that Barry was so spiritual now let me say this about Barry Barry Barry can show Barry is the best funeral speaker I have ever seen doesn't matter in church out of church my goodness can that man preach a sermon okay so I'm not saying he's bereft of spirituality by any degree but to say he's spiritual no one in the immediate family would use that particular description except Lori so it stood out and but Lori was sincere she was defending him because um Janice was berating him for something who knows what that wasn't an uncommon thing and Lori stood up for him and that's what she said he's the most spiritual man I've ever known well what so so I have an obvious follow-up to your what you just said we both do go ahead John why would you not see him as spiritual why is that why is that considered a bit of a family joke well like all of us there are two two sides to bury and um the spiritual part doesn't come out the way it comes out speaking at a funeral man is it powerful okay in his life isn't the same he can speak uh obviously loud and long about the IRS about the government and not the same spiritual context but same trade so we both had those you know white and dark strengths and weaknesses Megan your cousin Megan mentioned as pontificating your dad Adam liked to pontificate or talk and uh and I'll ask a little bit actually about Megan in a little bit um later on but uh and I know that a friend of Lori's in Hawaii told me that Barry would give her blessings and she liked his blessings and that she felt he was spiritual so I was going to ask actually what Barry maybe meant by that that sound bite in in the Netflix documentary so it's interesting so it's almost like a a family lore or a joke a little bit like a we call it a popular story we don't want to say right not a joke but because some people have said as John points out that that your dad is really spiritual um that he was a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ already Saints and um but but not always is that the way you explain it to you Adam I know he has a testimony a strong testimony knows the church is true I know that for a fact but as everybody you have you have choices to make in life to do whatever you're gonna do and he just seems like um sometimes it's it's he can he can be out in left field by himself when he's when we're all in a group talking so that's I think those are the reasons why you know that that makes sense people think that anything else John when it comes to to that I I do like knowing that story that's like his one and only sound bite ever like that's the only time your dad ever did an interview and that's the only sound they used and so that's it that's all we've heard Barry say is that Lori thought he was a spiritual giant so we can dissect that forever maybe we should leave some mystery around that uh this is for both of you A lot's been said about the Cox family I'll say that you know the Cox family um Lori's family of origin Adam that includes you uh John and I have you know speculated on ourselves and speculated with you some things have come out uh that have been said uh one of them is Alex's ex-wife Debbie who stated that Laurie and Alex seem to have an interesting relationship where they seemed like they were sexual in front of one another um you know I think that's maybe one of the the the the trends I've seen that there was a lot of open sexuality um Megan mentioned something in an interview too and and I'm gonna allow you guys to if you've seen that interview reviewed or give another side to that at all I want you guys have that opportunity um but uh I guess is there anything I mean did you see Lori and Alex have an inappropriate relationship it's certainly something that's come up a lot I I know and there's a lot of things that come up in the media that I just shake my head and go this is just people just well this one came up in a foia dock this one came up in a foia document I don't know where it comes from and I I met Deb one time uh when they first got married don't really know enough and I don't want to call her a liar or whatever but maybe her perception I will tell you this Alex is a comedian Alex would go overboard with anything whether it was cursing or sexual innuendos or whatever it is he was always trying to get a laugh and unless you knew that then I guess if it's the first time you ever met Alex and he was doing something that we all you know laugh at or he would make fun of my parents having sex one time or what I mean you just have to know him so I I'm a hundred percent sure that Lori and Alex never had anything going on a hundred percent sure thank you for answering what the people want to know I don't I don't I'm not sure I'm not sure she said that they were actually having a sexual relationship I think it was more that they were emulating though it could have been more flirtatious Behavior or you know just very sexualized Behavior towards one another and I don't think the implication was that they were no right right so right she never said that yeah she never said that they were in a relationship or anything right yeah yeah so I mean again a lot of people you've extracted that from what she said and right similar to what Adam said if you want to talk about inappropriate behavior yeah plenty of it a lifetime of it but um but yeah not the not the connotation that people have drawn from that even Debbie Drew from it or inferred and that people are drawn from that oh maybe those two were sexually connected I never saw anything closely related no well no and then this is and this this is a great follow-up question to that for both of you um and I know that you're going to discuss this in your podcast um that we will definitely be tuning in to John and I will be but your family's life has been dissected by the media by podcasters by John and me by by many people how do you handle that how have you been handling that I mean you're depressed I guess you might be depressed is what according to John but but how are you doing like how is that I'm not diagnosing by the way he's not diagnosing he's just saying it sounds like yeah well this is I mean this whole time this has been going on I've tried to avoid interviews I've had every TV station and every person try to reach out to interview me and the only reason I did um the 2020 uh thing on ABC was because they uh said I could tell my story and it wasn't a uh you know and with that not just telling my story but I could express myself however I wanted to express myself about what was going on and then I could you know do that but there's been people that send me Facebooks and emails and I don't know how they get my information but they do and I've had people say you're part of this you've been too quiet you haven't said anything you're not interviewing with people and I was like until I know all the facts I don't want to just go on and start saying all these things that I think happened which by the way everything that I felt was happening was actually happening so um anyways with that that's one of the reasons that Rex and I now are doing a book together and doing this because there's so many holes in this story and there's so many things that people want to know because this story of Lori and Chad and Alex is so so like you you can't write fiction like this it just doesn't come out so um there's so many people that are affected by it that I feel like now I was avoiding everybody first you know with all the emotions embarrassed um hurt depressed you know you can go on with a million emotions and I had them all all for like three or four years so I've never had that before I have been the happiest person I've had the best life all these things but then that is just like somebody just threw a ton of rocks on top of me so that's why I've been really trying to not not pay attention sorry to your podcast or to interviews or to stories or go to the court or be involved I just can't take it so I've been staying away from it but now I feel like we're starting to get to the end of this where hopefully once this is all said and done we can heal more from it and help others to heal and help others to heal from it thank you one thing John and I have learned through this podcast and well I mean John John did this work before um you know I was a journalist covering crime and he's a forensic psychologist who assesses criminals for a living and assess his risk he agrees with you guys by the way you know Lori it might be kind of a risk right now with their beliefs but um she would be if she got out I agree um but uh um and I don't even know where I was going with this I I think one thing John and I have learned that's what I'm gonna say is that victims have reached out to us that a lot of the people that listen to True Crime are not um the people that are just like oh I want to hear all the nitty-gritty details they're actually people wanting to heal there are people trying to process this the same way you two are trying to process it the way you two are saying hey let's start a podcast hey let's write a book like let's work on healing um I just want you two to know that you're not alone and I do believe that you will be able to help people when John and I started this podcast during the pandemic it was simply to just help make sense of the unthinkable the unfathomable and what I've learned through doing it is a lot of people that are listening are those that have been victims of crime or no people and that as you said right away in this this podcast Adam that um you never thought your family would be affected by this you never this is what you see in the movies and so I I do want to tell you that there is a need for for victims and so many millions of people that are affected by crime to be able to know that they can uh they're not alone so in that sense thank you I think you're doing a good thing to talk about it and thank you for trusting us um to come on because that's what we want to do is just let you both share your story and your truth and ask some hard questions so Adam I think um one question that's have been another question that's been on everybody's mind for three years is is Alex and Alex's death we learned a lot more about your brother and trial uh we learned that there was perhaps a traumatic brain injury when he was younger from a car accident and that he seemed to be a True Believer according to all the testimonies in trial of Lori's teachings Chad's teachings this belief system whatever it is uh but his death remains very suspicious it was deemed natural I want to clarify that for everyone listening that it was pulmonary embolism two pulmonary embolisms I believe and but it was brought up in trial in an interesting way the the patriarchal blessing the the quasi-patriarchal blessing that Chad dabel gave your brother did imply that he'd know when to go to the other side there's definitely a lot of suspicious things surrounding your brother's death do you have any thoughts about that yeah about what you think it was if you think it was natural or something happened to your brother Yeah we actually are doing a whole podcast segment on just my brother just because there's so much stuff there but I suspect that there was something else that happened and I won't go into details about it now but um what makes sense to me is that you know something else happened to him he didn't die in natural causes I don't know if the two of you have listened to Megan Connors Megan Connor uh interview on our Channel with me and if you haven't then um I can't ask you to share your side of the story because we are very much like both of you we want to hear every side but she did share a few stories um Rex did you listen to it at all no but let me let me comment on it the reason I didn't I love Megan so it wasn't from she loves you good it wasn't from lack of interest and I am I know she's some family members are upset I know she's railed on different people and and different things I don't think of it as uh two sides of the story I like to allow everyone their own perspective their own experiences and their perspective from those experiences including Megan and you know I'm sorry if she offended or people got offended from it but I appreciate anyone that is involved in this whole mess this whole tragedy that engages and says whatever they say about it whether I like it or not the fact that they're involved provides some healing for us some way and so I didn't listen to details because I didn't need to because I know I love Megan I would have said okay that's her perspective I wouldn't have been offended by it um and and so I didn't feel the need to listen to hear a side to mediate and I I'm five and million being vegan okay thank you for sharing that and I I value your belief of everybody sharing their truth that's what hidden True Crime is about as well John um Rex you know your daughters were close to Lori as far as I I you know you've kind of mentioned before they almost I mean they looked up to Laurie one as you mentioned was it was a nanny to to the JJ and Tyler both or just JJ JJ and Kylie how how are they coping how is your family coping how are you dealing with this uh we're all a mess individually and collectively um you know so they they're seeing counselors and and uh they're working through it like like we all are so I won't paint paint a Rosy picture about that because how can you we just don't know how to get all the way through it so we're all working through it them included each one of them had their individual Ways by collectively especially the four daughters are a incredible support group to each other um their moms involved with them I mean their mom knew Lori she and I aren't married but um she knew Lori she knew the situation so they have a good support group going I try to be you know resourced to him too but um we're a mess and working through it like everyone John do you have any other questions I I have some more but I'm just going to pull up and decide what I want priority wise um yeah I'm just I'm looking at the time so I think if you have some final questions and you want to get to Tyler yeah I would like yeah you know um as I mentioned earlier um the name of your podcast honors JJ and Tyler the two children victim in this these crimes and this tragedy um I feel like the the public hasn't been allowed as many memories of Tyler as they have for uh JJ simply because as you mentioned Adam the way that you coped and others in your family coped is to not give interviews to kind of lay low to protect yourselves during this process the woodcocks have chosen to be a voice and they knew their little grants and JJ better than Tyler could you share a little bit about Tyler for us today uh both of you actually well Tyler um as a little girl uh was a little um a little Fireball I remember uh I would yeah I would kiss her cheeks and then she goes you don't do that that's okay I'll take it off and she goes okay and she put her cheek out then I get another kiss to take the first kiss off and then people people will be like you know he just kissed you twice what is going on uh and so but as she grew up uh she became you know a really good member of the church she took her uh being in young women serious and she read scriptures a lot too um and she became more less fireballish as she was as a young girl as she as you would think as a teenager you would get like that but she got she got sweeter as she got older which was great my last memory of Tyler we talk about in our podcast I saw her alive at my mom and dad's house when my mom and dad kicked me out Tyler was there and so um I just remember I just feel like she wanted to tell me something and we'll we'll talk about that in the book we'll talk about it in our podcast but there was something in her eyes and the way that she left that I felt like she maybe uh knew more than what she was saying so I'll leave it at that sort of kind of continuing that was a question I had with Zach briefly mentioned to Justin Lum is that sort of the similar moment I'll look forward to hearing you share that story thank you um Rex I I just love Tyler as a teenager is what I'll focus on because last time I saw her was when we stayed with him in Hawaii um five years ago in the thick thick of her teen years tiny you know had a lot of medical problems which was difficult and the way we my wife and I viewed it being over there we just viewed it as she's just turning into a strong spunky human just the right amount of kind of teenage attitude to make it fun for everyone that's not her parents to watch her to observe her and I will say um both Charles and Laurie reacted just exceptionally well to her to her being um you know the times that she was obstinate to sweet you know and everything in between his teenagers can be and as Adam described she was becoming more and more sweet than that but she just had the right mix for people to to enjoy her as an individual and I can't think of much about her her where you say well yeah she's a teenager that's typical she wasn't quite typical in any way and I say that very positively she wasn't there's nothing negative there I can think of thank you yes she reminds me of myself when I see videos or little clips of her I could um I was a pretty sassy teenager myself I'm sure my husband can't imagine that but um he's a good word yeah yeah um thank you tell us again the name of your podcast um we will be listening and it is by the time this interview hits hit and True Crime it will be out it will be published and people can listen to multiple episodes um tell us the name one more time it's Tyler and JJ's Silver Linings thank you and you can find that wherever you listen to podcasts thank you thank you for uh you know I want to give you credit Adam I wanted to interview you for for a long time before I knew who Rex was um thank you for doing this together gentlemen but um uh I want to say that Adam did say to me before this started you know you can ask me anything I'm an open book and you have allowed us to do that and I appreciate that uh John is there are there any last questions thank you I want to say thank you I appreciate taking the time to do this and and for being so open and for for putting out a podcast and a book in the world that will help a lot of people so thank you for doing that well thank you for giving us the voice that you mentioned that we are being you're giving us that voice we really appreciate it one last question and and and and Adam as uh you've promised me that we can do another one well this is not going to be our first uh collab right or our this is our first it will not be our last so so I'll I'll lay this out I am I have a lot of questions about that Nelson marriage and about the drug use people speculated there was maybe drugs later on with Chad I don't know how you feel about that and then I have also heard a rumor um well we'll get to that how about that I have heard some rumors when it comes to the Nelson marriage maybe next time you can answer some more questions how about that oh good I'll do my best yeah thank you gentlemen all right um thank you so much for being a guest we'll see ya [Music]

Channel: Hidden True Crime

Views: 173,019

Keywords: tylee and jjs silver living, adam cox podcast, adam cox, lori vallow brother, lori daybell uncle, lauren matthias, hidden true crime, adam cox interview, alex cox interview, dr john matthias, daybell interview, lori vallow sentencing, lori daybell verdict, lori vallow family, uncle rex, true crime podcast, hidden true crime podcast, barry cox, janis cox, julie rowe, drugs, lori vallow first marriage, nelson, joe ryan

Id: ifEv4R3TjWc

Length: 80min 36sec (4836 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 30 2023