PONY | Omeleto

i tried calling isn't there anyone else who can take her this weekend did you try the walkers eat your eggs eggs are boring don't be ridiculous you always eat my eggs alex got that bug that's been going around she's been vomiting all morning little one being ridiculous they're gone they're on their second honeymoon i'm a woman and woman could change their mind whenever they want [Applause] oh god oh she won't eat her eggs and now she's chanting and defiance i did already donna can't take her she's in singapore oh chad t-shirt t-shirt [Music] i don't know with whom some friends mom what will you give me if i eat them nothing and you're not a woman you're five eat your eggs or no tv who cares i don't even like tv anymore alan my flight is at four this is my first big account as team leader i i can't cancel this trip my loan was denied and and and your last two checks bounced i need this money it'll be one two okay three days max can you can you just figure this out what alan he is the last person in the universe i would ask to watch me go uh hey [Music] what do you do if there's an emergency and then scream mikko you call me okay so jeff [Music] jeff [Music] oh what the [ __ ] man jeff it's claudia who claudia your sister-in-law allen's ex-wife with your niece mikko you uh you agreed to take her this weekend i did oh jesus oh yeah yeah yeah uh uh yeah did you want me to pick her up jeff we're here here at the front door like we talked about oh yeah right right right right right okay so you know just give me a minute i'll be right with you oh jesus [ __ ] christ he's coming do this [Music] hey booger hi uncle jeff mom let me bring my fish pony welcome to my humble above uh listen thanks for doing this really jeff you know we're really in a pinch i have to tell you i was uh um i i am a little concerned because you've never done this before no worries i feed the neighbor's cat all the time no oh r really besides i still owe alan a solid for bailing me out in vegas you guys want some coffee or anything she doesn't drink coffee she's five right and i already had some when i woke up eight hours ago all right mikko knows the drill don't over feed pony one pinch of food a day one pinch she takes two vitamins and a calcium supplement with breakfast one pinch two vitamins and please no genetically modified weed it has twice the gluten uh kale chips lots of fiber keeps her regular no peanuts she's anaphylactic and as you know she's lactose intolerant well i want to let you know that i don't approve of intolerance of any kind lactose milk she can't have milk or any milk products got it shit's ranked i haven't had it in years what does [ __ ] drink mean sorry these are her allergy medications directions are on the bottle along with the number for her pediatrician and um lights out for her promptly at eight i've written everything down so if there's any question or a problem but any kind call me immediately okay immediately honey i gotta go i'll be back monday at the latest all right i want a good report give me a hug give me a hug be a good girl for uncle jeff okay bye and look who i found i found piggies hi piggy careful that's a choking hazard all right um take good care of my baby holy cow you deal with that every day um so are you really a pirate a what my mom calls you jeffrey the pirate no i'm a i'm not a pirate i'm i'm a musician they're similar we both navigate the high seas and the unpredictable winds of fate in search of buried treasure and gold actually my mom says you're a lazy overdone child who needs to stop talking about a song you wrote in the 80s and find a real job is that so where'd your mom get that from my gordon gecko-like little brother you're a what it's song plural all right dad said you haven't recorded any new songs in over 600 years it's cute in 600 years [Music] well listen kid you can't force know it's not like a fart you're taking a dump which comes so naturally to your dad because he's so full of [ __ ] oh okay oh um can you please stop doing that what are you doing i'm writing i thought you said it wasn't like taking attempts yes and and i i very much regret having used that metaphor but i i would like some privacy yes i wasn't doing that on purpose go you know entertain yourself do something creative it's not quiet [Music] it's not quiet come on miko go go upstairs find something to do occupy yourself it's a it's a good thing to learn how to do [Music] [Music] um [Music] [Music] can you keep it down [Music] [Music] oh i'm so stupid did you feed pony no i did not feed pony can we feed her now she's hungry you can feed her you're a big girl all right i can yes okay not too much right isn't that what your mom said hi pony time to eat i just love how your mouth looks when you eat uncle jeff i found your trapeze in your closet could i swing please i want to be olivia queen of the circus hey hey hey put that down that's not a toy that's not for kids [Music] what is that my pillowcase i made it i invented it it's called the pillowcase dress okay yeah it's my [ __ ] pillowcase so let's take it off you said [ __ ] you owe me a dollar yeah and you owe me a [ __ ] pillowcase that's two dollars oh [ __ ] three dollars where's my money pick it up that's enough all right stop it no seriously that's my wallet stop all right enough [Music] how to do something here see pony this is a picture i drew for uncle jeff hey man bad news shut up oh shut the [ __ ] up the blonde twins are gonna be there oh man i'd do lines off their angel like cornholes all night if i could can't daddy can't no [ __ ] brother's pain in the ass kid got dropped off and i'm stuck here all weekend can't believe that [ __ ] yeah that's all right you have fun without me okay i'm sorry i picked you up like that well i really wasn't gonna throw you you were too you think i'm a pain in the ass you heard that i'm sorry you heard that you're not the pain of the ass kid i am but i really wasn't gonna throw you i was just trying to scare you why because i scare you yeah you do smoking's bad for you you know careful okay mikko go get your eggs my wood your all eggs are you ready to go wild okay i've got my axe [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] uncle jeff do you have a girlfriend hmm uh not a steady girl no why i don't know i guess i'm kind of a gypsy what's a gypsy it's like a pirate we like our freedom why you want to be my girlfriend no i have to teach you everything and that would take way too long that's the truth so um what do you want to be when you grow up you're an a lion girl or a ninja break dancer all my friends at school are going to be aladdin girls so which do you want to be i want to be a ninja break dancer well then that's what you ought to be it's good to be different from everybody else my dad says i should be a doctor well if a doctor is what you want to be that's fine but my advice would be go for the ninja break dancer that's what i think too yeah fun can i ask you a question mm-hmm sure well how do bumblebees poop just like us i guess except on really tiny toilets oh are you getting tired is it bedtime no no wait wait wait wait i made you i made you a drawing when you were when you were napping i want to show it to you please could i show it to you okay i want to see it pony wake up it's too early for bed time to get up uncle jack there's something wrong with pony she won't wake up [ __ ] pony's dead what do you mean i mean he's not waking up this little body doesn't work anymore what happens after we die who knows we we get born we we live and then we die people have a lot of different opinions but nobody really knows did you ever have a pet that died i had a person [Music] uh maybe the only person i ever loved name was luna did she die she did she's pretty she has a big belly to have a baby yeah we were we were gonna she was killed in a car accident so it never happened you miss her yeah you do i'll miss pony [Music] i thought he was a good pet huh she was do you think she's sleeping this pet now maybe who knows hey will you sing me a bedtime song good times i'm not really a lullaby guy i don't uh i don't know what i'd say what about this how about the song the song you're writing well if you insist i don't know how i feel about this [Music] floating on the water like the boats [Music] nothing seems to matter to a man who's lost respect so come down the rain bring me a thunder [Music] [Music] out but it was too late for him [Music] to come down rain [Music] i'll work it out you sleep [Music] [Music] i don't know where you went but i'm sure it'll be nice there will maybe be a lot of your friends like cornelius and a bigger bull in the pink castle i'll miss you you were the awesomest pet i ever had [Music] so [Music] i love you uncle jeff i love you too little bugger wow [Music] hey man yeah the infamous babes and garage bands party of course i know it that's tonight yeah no uh and my my brothers my my brother's kid's still here so i can't make it tonight yeah we'll talk soon thanks [Music] lost out on the water like a boat [Music] of the ocean has a dizzying effect [Music] break the spell i'm living [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] at the under i've been looking at so long staring into darkness waiting for the storm to come memories illusions [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] and a tiny little freak peeked out he recoiled from the shop and let out a shout who turned the lights on turn them back out [Applause] [Music] so calm down bring me a thunder take [Music] [Music] wash me clean so [Music] you

Channel: Omeleto

Views: 808,701

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Id: c0VPJWt_f0w

Length: 31min 1sec (1861 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 30 2021