A Necessary Ending | Shawn Johnson | 167

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] well welcome Red Rocks Church Wow honestly we really don't know what to do with a welcome like that and so honestly the only way it feels good is to say let's take that clapping and applause and say thank you Jesus it's for him because it is only and I mean it when I say it it is only because of him that we're standing here right now and so if Sean and I together can say thank you Jesus that we're standing here he has given us just he's given us victory and we're still in it we're still fighting it and we're not finished but thank you God he's faithful he's faithful because when he starts a good work he is faithful to complete it that's who he is but I also it would be it would be just so wrong if we didn't also say thank you to all of you thank you so that clap that you just gave is for every single staff member in this place amazing staff thank you family what a special group of people you have serving you here because they love God with all their heart and they love you and so thank you staff for just coming alongside and I along side excuse me Sean and I in this season and saying we support you were praying for you we'll do whatever it takes to love people and thank you church church inside this family friends outside this church family you have been nothing but amazing to us with all the texts and the prayers and the words of encouragement and support thank you we're here largely in part of because because of the PIRs you prayed so thank you it's it's just been neat to see how you truly have been the body of Christ you've come alongside and you've said we will bear your burdens and we will so fulfill the law of Christ and that is our hope for this church that we would be a church family who we bear one another Burt a bear one another's burdens and we know Bridget [Music] we know we've lived through a very difficult season of hard shaunell tuck talked all about it and so we know that so many of you here are also walking through really hard painful hurtful seasons and I've been in that place recently where the voices in my head have said just quit just give up this isn't working do it your way I've had all those voices and if I could just say to you please shut those voices off as quickly as you can because it's so worth it it's so worth it to just not quit to not give up to keep showing up saying Jesus I'm here and I'm not going anywhere that is our prayer for this next season that we together with lock arms and and do this together do this life together and just encourage one another to not quit and encourage one another to to spend time with Jesus and so I'm gonna pray and again humbly we say thank you we love you Church we love you and we cannot wait to see how God is going to use every single one of us to reach a city a state and that desperately needs him so if you would pray with us father we thank you so much for this moment this moment is your moment this moment is only happening because of you and because of the way you have taken such good care of of us and of your church and God we give it all to you this is all for your glory this is all so that many many people will hear of your saving love your saving grace your forgiveness and so that many many people will come and say Jesus we want you we need you and so god we give every moment to you be glorified be honored in this place I pray that you would just saturate this place with your Holy Spirit I pray that every single person in here would just sense you right next to them sitting in the seat next to them may they know you're here may they feel you may they hear from you God we cannot do this god only you can and and what I thank you God because you are faithful and you love every single person in this place you hear them you see them you know them you care and so god we give it all to you I pray for Shawn anoint him as he is he just shares what you've done your goodness your glory God we love you we pray for your peace that passes all understanding in the name of Jesus amen amen papier is she what's up Church I'm so glad to be back if you're visiting for the first time you're like what is happening here my name is Sean I work here I've been gone for a minute if you are visiting no matter what location you're at the most important thing for me that you would know right now at this point in the service is that we want you here I know how awkward it is to visit a church in fact I was I was invited to visit a church over Christmas pastor Jim Bergen and his wife invited me and Jill over to Flatirons to hang out with them during one of their Christmas services and and like I do this for a living and I got nervous I'm like well I don't know what to wear I think they dressed like we dressed but I don't know and if I'm sitting on the front row next to the pastor do I have to wear something else and like I was nervous and this is what I do for a living so I know how nerve-racking it can be to come to a church for the first time and what do I wear and how do I act and then you kind of you kind of start to look around and everybody else kind of knows what to do and where to go and then you wonder like do I actually fit in here and my crash in the party and I want you to know that if you're visiting here you're not crashing the party you're the guest of honor at this party you're why we're here so we're so glad you're here no matter what you've been through no matter what has happened no matter what you've done no matter what you believe no matter what people have said to you no matter what you may think about yourself right now I want you to know in this place you're going to be loved and welcomed and valued and accepted and we're we're already praying for you and we're so glad you're here so welcome home we're glad that you're with us and I've been gone for a little bit and so I'm gonna I'm gonna share some of what's been going on with the small amount of time that Jill left us she's the real preacher of this family sorry I feel great but my body is very nervous to be back on stage and so my mouth is super dry in fact I was getting ready to come here and I was like I'm not nervous I feel great and I just taking a shower and I was in my underwear and I put my boots on before my jeans and then I was like oh Lockette bro let's go so I'm excited a little nervous so glad to be here I've been telling you guys for 15 years that were a bunch of imperfect messed up broken people who just come together to hear from a perfect God and I mean it and and what I've what I've learned though is some of you don't believe me when I say that what you hear is you think what he really means is I'm broken and all these people and just have it all together right that's what you think in fact just for a minute I want you to just look around don'ts don't say a word to anybody look very judgmental II at everybody around you and just sort of assess their life situation right now we I like to play this game in the restaurants what's going on with them because here's what you think they got a great marriage we're a mess they got great faith I have all kinds of doubts he puts his hands up during worship and probably never even wonders how stupid do I look she goes through worship with those high heels on and even when they do three songs in a row she never thinks my god my feet hurt I wish they'd stop she never does because she's she's too spiritual for that kind of so that's just what I do he never hears the pastor and talking and talking and talking and for the love of God talking and talking and just want him to stop they don't have doubts like I do they don't have habits like I do they don't have issues they didn't get in a fight on the way to church like we did he probably didn't even cuss in the parking lot like that's what you think and I just want you to know that it's not true that every single one of us are so broken we're just broken differently every one of us everyone on your row everyone in this room everyone out in the overflow and in the lobby and standing on the steps like we're just all broken we just are and the sooner you realize that the more you can sort of just exhale and just no you're not you don't have to perform you don't have to be on you can be you and the Creator the universe wants to meet with you right here where you're at the Apostle Paul once told his friend Timothy's like man you know we're all screwed up and he goes I might be the most screwed up of all and I and I read that this week and I thought I think that's how I feel right now like we're all broken and right now I feel like I'm not going but I might be the brokest t' and you know I've been talking to a lot of people who do what I do for a living as I was planning to come back this weekend and you know how much should I share and what do I share and one pastor said you know be careful you know I wouldn't tell them everything because they might lose faith in you and for a minute I was like oh well that sucks now I got to figure out what I can and can't share and where's the line and that I'll tell you what hit me almost instantly it's this thought that's like but but for 15 years I've never once hoped someone would come to Red Rocks Church and put their faith in me I've hoped that you would come to Red Rocks Church and put your faith in our God I was talking to my new friend Jim from Flatirons and I was like man what do you think you know this one guy said don't share too much you know and and people might lose faith in you and Jim's like you know what screw that because you know what people in your church want to hear they want to know your house sucks too sometimes and so church I'm here to tell you as the leader of this church my house sucks too sometimes and it's hard at my house sometimes too there's this verse in Revelation and it talks about two things that defeat the power of the enemy Satan the devil whatever you want to call them and just so you know if you're visiting we believe that there is a God in a Satan a heaven and a hell there's a Jesus Christ who came to this earth to die on a cross to pay the price for our sins and he's the one and only son of the one and only God and the one and only way to heaven and that's why we're here and in Revelation there's this verse and it talks about there's two things that defeats the power of Satan and it says it's the blood that Jesus shed on the cross when he died for our sins and the powerful words of our testimony there's power in us as Christ followers to stop pretending everything's put together when it's not - stop pretending that we're close to perfect when we're not there's power in fact James says there's healing when we're willing to get together and go you know what man I don't know about you but my house sucks right now and I'll tell you what's going on at my house and you tell me what's going on in yours I'll tell you some of my sins I'll tell you what I'm struggling with you tell me let's pray for each other for some supernatural healing from our Creator God so I just decided I'm gonna I'm gonna go that route and just tell you everything I have told you as a church family for years that you know I have dealt with anxiety and depression and if you have one you always have the other they always go hand in hand just different levels you might have 99% of one and only 1% of the other but they go together but I've never really shared with you the depths of it in fact I've never shared with anyone and anxiety and depression is it's very complex and and if if you don't struggle with anxiety or depression but somebody you love does I just tell you right now there's no simple solution to it don't try to give your loved one a simple fix to something that you just won't be able to understand love them and support them and just understand that there's going to be times when you won't understand but you can still love and support them just the same I've learned this from my amazing wife and family and friends and a whole bunch of you in fact we have a couple that were really good friends with and she really struggles with anxiety and he's one of the most at peace people I've ever met and one night she woke up and she was having a panic attack and he literally rolled over he was like oh sorry about that babe take a tums wet bag is fine don't do that don't be that guy don't be that girl it's pretty complex and and I've spent a lot of hours in counseling trying to understand sort of where my stuff is going on and originated from and for me there's four main things that sort of contribute to it number one number one is past trauma and that would be true for a whole bunch of you at different levels for different reasons and different scenarios I've been through a whole bunch of abuse and stuff that I haven't told anybody I hadn't even told my wife until this summer emotional abuse physical abuse sexual abuse all of it and the truth is is I've spent my whole adult life just pretending it didn't happen and then if you've been through traumatic things you know that there's days when you can't pretend like it just surfaces and you can't figure out why and so on those days I remind myself that I'm a grown man and I ought to be over it that's what I tell myself and if something III literally would say to myself shame on you if something that happened that many years ago still affects you today pull it together and that's how I saw it and I didn't understand how bad that was for my life to take trauma from the past and just pretend it didn't happen and minimize the effects it had on me it takes a lot of anxious energy to pretend stuff didn't happen part of my stuff is you know my chemical makeup doesn't mean I have to live the rest of my life with anxiety and depression but there's some chemical imbalances going on with with me and and it just sort of lends itself to anxiety and depression and so I just need to be aware of that and deal with that part of it is just pressure life life life has a lot of pressure that comes with it sometimes doesn't and the truth is every single one of us we know what that feels like because right now you're dealing with some pressure and a lot of my pressure is actually the result of God answering my prayers I just didn't know what kind of pressure came with my prayer requests because this is my dream come true I didn't know the pressure that comes with overseeing a multi-million dollar budget that comes from the generosity and sacrificial giving of a whole bunch of people that you deeply care about you don't know that pressure until you have it I didn't know that pressure I didn't know the pressure of having a hundred and some employees and hundreds and hundreds of family members who depend on this place working and moving forward and growing not shrinking and having enough income they seemed to want to get paid every two weeks a lot of pressure that comes with that there's a lot of pressure that comes with having thousands and thousands and thousands of people who look at me and our team during their biggest times of tragedy with their biggest questions in life it's just pressure it's just pret I didn't see it coming this weekend I'll get to speak to somewhere around 15,000 people at some of our locations and another 40,000 people in a hundred and twenty seven different countries online and what I say is being recorded in high-definition and it lives for eternity and a lot of people have email accounts and social media accounts and opinions it's just I didn't see it coming I understand I didn't know that pressure until you have it I didn't I never even thought about living life in a fishbowl it's kind of how I feel some days because of what God is doing at this church no person is responsible for this we know that but what God is doing ma'am me and my family live life in a fishbowl and there's pressure with that that I just didn't see coming and I'm reminded of it almost every time I go to one of my son's games when someone comes up and says hey I just want to say hi would go to the church I'm reminded of it almost every time my family goes out to dinner usually it's at the end of dinner then I have to sit there and go oh my gosh how have I behaved it's my wife's way better at all that than I am it's just pressure it's just this constant reminder of they're watching they're watching they're looking they have an opinion makes me scared to death to go to weddings I get scared to death to go to our own lobby sometimes I'll just be honest with you and it's it's it's it's my own stuff but but but it's like I know that there's people out there who have opinions and sometimes I'm so fragile and I try to be so vulnerable on-state vulnerable on stage and and I'm so fragile and insecure that I'm one stupid comment out in the lobby from not being able to preach again 30 minutes later and so sometimes I avoid the lobby not because I think I'm a hotshot and I should sit in the greenroom is because I'm scared to death of what someone might say it's just pressure I just didn't see it coming my kids live with this pressure they never prayed for this this wasn't their dream but they know because of what's happening around the city with our church they know that every day when they go to school people know whose family they're in and they're watching and they're judging and it's not fair to them they didn't ask for that pressure and my wife man she's a rock and she's kind of like an anchor for all four of us boys and she carries all of our pressure in her own it's just pressure I'm not I'm not complaining when you have your own if you had the mic you could tell us about yours it's just real so that's where some of it some of it comes from some of it is completely like self-inflicted stuff that I was never meant to deal with that I've allowed myself to deal with I haven't been I haven't been sleeping very well for years and when it's my week to speak I get so I'm not gonna do this anymore I'm saying in faith I haven't this week I can tell you that but I would get so and get so nervous so scared so so much anxiety about the message that it's all I could think about all week long and I can't be at dinner and enjoy my family and it can't be at the game and enjoy the game and literally I'll be watching Ashton play football and and in between snaps I'm walking around and people think I'm just like a real intense parent like pacing for the game I'm rehearsing a message because I got six points this week and I got to make sure I don't forget any of them because I know that I'm just not that eloquent I have so much in here that I want you to experience that I got to remember everything and don't screw it up and it all depends on you that it doesn't but that's what I felt and it was literally by the time I would get done preaching on a Saturday night you know where a video venue Church so all of our churches run fine on Sundays if I don't go speak anywhere live and more times than not the last year I haven't went anywhere on Sundays and it's not because I didn't want to be with the church it's because I literally couldn't get out of bed Sunday morning because I've gotten so wound up on the inside that comes Sunday morning I was so exhausted I couldn't hardly move and just miserable all week long and it's just not how God intended for me to go about this but if I started putting all this pressure on myself to like perform because it's all about like I got to do good right I got to do good enough so that people get it and and then I let stupid things like social media just like it was killing me because what I do is I get on Instagram and I look at all the pastors that are just better than me and what I realize is is we do what a lot of churches do we put together a little 60-second clips from the weekend and then we post them during the week and what I know is is that people will look at like our 60-second clip of me preaching next to like Steven Furtick one of the best preachers on the planet and they'll watch both clips at the same tree in the same trip to the gym and then I start to get real nervous like I hope my clips good I hope I don't look completely like like I don't have a clue what I'm doing next to somebody like that I don't want people in our church to know how inadequate I actually feel and I want them to get it but sometimes I don't have the right words to say it and I'm not sure they are and what all other pastors think and what about the critics and what about those social media sites that make fun of pastors for what they wear and then hundreds of people get on there and say horrible things and question your integrity and your character and your faith and so now I'm worried about what am I going to wear and what am I going to say and how am I going to say it and I know the social media team's gonna call Sunday night and say what's your quote for Instagram so now I've got to hear from an invisible God about the deepest most important parts of your life and I need to do it with three words that start with the same letter so that we have a good Instagram quote and I got to be afraid of what I wear and what I say and how I say it and how am I going to add up and what if they don't get it and what if they don't get saved because I didn't say something right and I didn't articulate it right and what if they don't experience god what if I can't create a moment it's up to me to perform this how I felt and then it all came to like it like a like a crash this past year my soul I was talking with an amazing couple after church and and they are awesome and all they were doing was trying to encourage me they have no idea the the all the twisted thoughts I have going on in my head and and the husband has cancer bad cancer and the wife said she said I just want you to know that we're literally living off of your messages like they're all that's keeping us going and then she hit me on the arm and she goes so no pressure but it better be good next week and what she doesn't know is she just described the semi-truck that sits on my chest all week long and I can't breathe and I can't sleep and I'm not functioning right because in my mind it's got to be good again so I better go perform right again so that God can use me again and what I didn't realize is and this is what was killing me it doesn't have to be good again it's just got to be God again that's all it's got to be but I couldn't see that and so I got real pressures I got self-inflicted pressures I've got a chemical imbalance that sort of lends itself to this stuff I got a crazy past and and I was driving down C 470 this summer and my body shut off I was coming home from the dentist I knew the dentist was gonna be the death of me when I was a kid I knew it I'm just kidding I'm friends with my dentist love you Chris dr. Chris I'm driving home from the dentist and I started having a panic attack and they've been happening more frequently this summer but this one was like it was it was a new level I started shaking my chest got so tight I didn't think I could breathe I thought I was gonna pass out I started crying I called Jill and I'm like babe I don't know what to do right now please pray for me please pray for me I remember saying to Jill I need a miracle I need a miracle i need a miracle i need a miracle babe please pray for me i don't know what to do and I told Jill I'm like I don't think I can make it home and I didn't know where to go and I when I when I would have panic attacks I get real claustrophobic and I like I can't be in my car and I can't be inside and I didn't know where to go I couldn't pull over to like a school or something that all of the schools are in session and I couldn't come to my office cuz I can't let the employees see me like this I can't I can't see I kind of want our team to see me like this and I can't go home because my house is surrounded by Red Rocks Church stickers on all the car windows and that's a dream come true unless you need to have a panic attack outside of your house and then it's just awkward you don't I mean and so I'm driving my car and I'm having this panic attack and I literally didn't know what to do and after I called Jill I called Scott I'm like Scott Scott's like my big brother and I'm like Scott pray for me please pray for me I'm freaking out I'm losing my mind and I couldn't talk anymore and i text Chad and my Chad pray for me and I threw my phone in my car and I pulled over and I just got out and I just started walking around and I start just walking around the side of the road on c-47 D like I can't breathe I can't stop shaking I can't stop crying I don't know what's going on and all of a sudden I don't know how long I was there but all of a sudden Jill and Scott and JB pull up cuz they knew where I was driving from and and I was just losing it like losing it and I told him that day I was like I quit I quit I can't do it I can't be a pastor anymore I can't do this anymore I'm like I don't even want to live anymore I can't I can't live this way I need a miracle I'm begging God you ever feel like I'm begging God for a miracle but I don't experience anything right now it's like he's not listening I don't know what to do and I was just done like like it like I'm telling you the whole system crashed and my wife didn't know what to do so she called one of my pastors Pastor Chris Hodges in Alabama and pastor Deano and pastor Lane and we all got on the phone and I told him what was going on and they were like get out here right now and so we got on a plane and we tried to go to Alabama and the plane guy out on the runway and I had a panic attack out on the runway so bad that they stopped the plane pulled it back into the gate and made me get off the plane you want to talk about humiliating and then I had to stand up front for like 45 minutes cuz then they were like well we're not we don't even want your bags on the plane like was it that bad my bags can't go so we waited for four or five hours six hours something like that I don't remember and and then we got to Alabama and man Church of the highlands family I love you so much they rolled out the red carpet for us and so many of their staff members took time to meet with us and help us and I was talking to one of the pastors pastor Dino and he was telling me that something very similar happened in his life at about the same age young 30s and and uh he said I'll tell you what this is God has brought you to a necessary ending he loves you too much to let you keep going the way you're going and some of us are hard-headed aren't we God has to like literally hit the eject button hit the stop button doesn't he sometimes for some of us in fact some of you you already know this cuz you've walked through some stuff what you thought was one of the worst times of your life you now look back on the other side of it you go thank God that happened right I kind of feel like that's where I'm at you said you're at a necessary ending and and I told you that verse in Revelation there's this power in our testimony that one of the most powerful things that happens when people share stories like this is that God takes my story I'm not just trying to have a counseling session with you today God takes my story and he speaks to you about yours and so I want to ask you as I continue to tell you some of the stuff I have gone through is there something in your life that you know God's trying to get your attention on right now and he's going you can't keep going this way I love you too much you that has got to die that that way of thinking it's got to stop that that habitual thing that you keep allowing into your life it's gotta stop the way you're seeing me seeing you is got the sights got a change it's got to be accurate according to the Bible not according to how you feel it's got to come to a necessary ending I love you too much to let you stay that way is it possible he wants to get your attention and do that very thing John chapter 12 verse 24 says this let me make this clear excuse me a single grain of wheat it'll never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies he says you can't go to the next level you'll never be more than what you are right now what you're dealing with right now won't get any better unless something dies because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat all because one grain died see God God will allow us to use our free will he will not force change upon any of us but he'll use moments like this if we'll be open to it if we'll let him and he'll say there's this area of your life that needs to come to a necessary ending it's got to stop you need to kill it not because not not because I want you to go through uncomfortable not because I want you to be uncomfortable not because I want you to struggle not because I want you to experience pain but there's something in your life that we got to kill that's got to come to a necessary ending I love you too much to let you stay here when I want to take you here and I just want you to be open to the fact that maybe that's what God maybe that's why God has you here today because he wants something in your life to come to a necessary ending I'm gonna tell you a few of the things that I realized after many hours of counseling in fact after Alabama I realized I needed to go to some some therapy some some real counseling and so I we found a place out of state that deals with anxiety depression and spiritual burnout and I went check please and so I went to this place and I went to some of you are like I wonder if he's like on a beach somewhere I haven't seen him posting lately I can promise you I was not on a beach somewhere I went to get this I went to several hours of therapy every day six days a week for seven weeks you did not miss hear me it's like years worth of counseling on a normal schedule six days a week for seven straight weeks and when I graduated with Jill's permission I got online and bought a ridiculously expensive pair of Nikes and I cannot wait to wear them and I don't care who posts about it the first thing I learned would you put this up I need to stop dealing with my past on my own there's something about us where we actually feel heroic when we just hold on to past pain and don't let anybody else in on it in fact we convinced ourselves that the people we love are better off not having to deal with us you know he's got enough to deal with he doesn't need my stuff she's got enough to deal with she doesn't need my stuff I had experienced abuse in ways that I'd never even told my wife what I didn't realize is by keeping those things from her I was actually putting up some invisible walls between the two of us saying there's only so close that I'm gonna allow us to be because I'm just gonna keep some stuff one of the first things is so crazy and I mama spend at least a week on this subject matter in this year one of the first guys I met with guys been a counselor for like 45 years doing this stuff with pastors believe it or not and I tell him about all my struggles with anxiety and all my struggles with depression and all my stuff in all my and and he go he gets out a piece of paper and a little pad of paper and a pen he goes okay he goes let's make a list of your grievances I went but now I'm here for anxiety counseling he's like I know let's make a list of all the people who have hurt you and we made a list and for seven weeks I prayed with another man of God in faith God you are helping me heal from that wound right there after I realize it happened quit pretending it didn't allow myself to process the actual ways it's affected my life now God helped me heal from this wound in Jesus name I claim healing over this wound and in Jesus name I claim the ability to forgive that person and I relinquish all my rights to punish him from this point on in Jesus name to see what I didn't realize is by holding on to all these grievances and all my past stuff and just storing it away it takes all this anxiety producing energy to hold on to grievances and I was doing so on a professional level some of you I guarantee you God wants to tell you today you don't have to do that anymore it's not helping it's hurting let's tell somebody about your pain let's process it take it to God take it to somebody who can help take it to people in your life you trust let God help you process through it and do some forgiving work and get set free from some of this stuff that causes anxiety and depression in our lives I have six points and they don't rhyme and none of them start with the same letter so I [Applause] guess actually they all start with stop Instagram stop believing the lies of Satan God's sick and tired of me my complaining my weakness and my sin ever feel that and then and then what we do is we go man I've been a Christian this long and I still deal with that and I'm so jacked up and there's so many days when I'm like god I need a miracle god I need help God I'm fighting through this stuff I need you to intervene but as soon as I say it as soon as I say the prayer the other side of my brain goes who are you kidding you don't have the right to ask your God for that because look at you look what you've done look what you did again how many times you gonna say you won't do it look what happened look who you are look what you've been through you don't have the kind of value and worth to go to your God with a request like that God is sick and tired of dealing with your weakness and your sin I felt and then I pile on the fact that I'm a pastor and I ought to just be better that's just how I felt but the truth is you do it and you do it like this you go yeah but I'm up I'm a parent and I still deal with this I'm a Christian and I still deal with this I'm a student I'm a young man I'm a young woman I've given my life to God and I still deal with this and we convinced ourselves that God's done with us when he's not you need to Ruby reminded and that's why I started almost every service with it not because of anything that you've done not because of anything you haven't done right now your God couldn't love you more could it be more proud of you he loves you he values you he accepts you just the way you are right here right now and anything else is a lie from the pit of hell throw it out I needed to stop hiding the depths of my anxiety and depression and get help pride that's what it was I don't want to tell anybody else how bad it hurts how bad I feel so what I would do is tell you guys you know I am dealing with some anxiety and I missed an airplane flight hitting that funny and the truth is it's like it's killing me but I don't want to tell anybody not even my wife and the truth is is because I always wanted my wife to I want my wife to be proud of me too I want my wife to look up to me and think what a man what I didn't realize that she would actually have more respect for me when I shared the truth with her and it's actually brought us together closer by me just being willing to say I'm real screwed up and I just want to let you in on it it's amazing how that will change your marriage I needed to stop thinking God and people only love me for what I can do for them had to come to a necessary ending because of a bunch of stuff that happened when I was growing up I have grown up with this I'm worthless mentality my whole life and so my whole life I just tried to be good at stuff for a long time it was sports I just try to be good I'll just be the best and then people will have a reason to like me and then when we started a church my comp my competitive nature took over and it's like well I'll just be the best we'll just be the best because then people will love me then people will like me then I'll have worse then God will finally be proud of me and and and although most of you watching this some of you are pastors and you definitely need to hear this but a bunch of you aren't but we do it with every aspect of our life don't we you know what I avoided enough sin this week and I read the Bible three times God definitely loves me this week but this week I looked at something I shouldn't three times and I didn't read the Bible at all and I felt so worthless I stayed away from church got sick of me he doesn't want me we turn our relationship with God into a performance don't we and I would never have emitted it out loud but in my heart I would think okay God have I done enough to make you proud yet we opened another campus look how many people came at Easter God people got saved am I good yet do you love me yet God I've read the Bible every day this week you love me yet God doesn't love you because of what you do and you need to let some people in your life love you for who you are for what you can accomplish it'll change those relationships as well had to come to a necessary ending for me stop being ashamed of being broken that was a huge one for me we're broken and the crazy thing is is somewhere in the back of our minds we get this idea or Satan whispers in our ear you should be better God's done with you now not only are you broken but you're ashamed and guilty for the brokenness and the shame of my brokenness it's what's kept me from sharing it with other people it's what's kept me from wanting to get help it's what kept me from being completely honest with my spouse because I'm just ashamed of it and after I got back from all this counseling in Alabama they passed me off to a counselor that I meet with once a week now here in town that I absolutely love his name's Harv and you're gonna hear me talk about him a lot and in the first day when I met Harv I was like man I told him my whole story it took about two hours for us to kind of get together you get to know each other and and then and then I was real weepy at the end of it and like with tears coming down my face I was like so can you fix me and he's like I'm gonna say something that's gonna sound counterintuitive to you he said you don't want to be fixed too quick he said go look at whoever you respect in the Bible go look at the heroes of the faith and what you're gonna find slow down and read their story Abraham Isaac Jacob Moses Joshua Joseph the Apostle Paul the Apostle Peter go look at every one of their stories and what you're gonna see is there came a time in their life when they just got to the end of themselves and they just realized for the first time I can't do it anymore on my own and it's when they were the most empty when they were the most broken that's when God did the most amazing things in their life he said so so don't try to get fixed up and move on too quick because it'll just resurface later while you're completely vulnerable while you're completely bro and be okay with just being broken for a while and let God do some amazing things in your life stop praying God fix me some for me I've just started praying like just show me I'm open I'm humbled I'm at the end of myself I'll be broken for a while of course then my next question for Harv was okay if I if I accept that I go look I either need to resign or go back to work at some point so can I go leave this church broken now remember this is about your story right now cuz that's the question that you ask can I be a mom when I'm this broken can I be the dad I've always wanted to be when I'm this broken can I can I can I chase the dream that God's put in my heart I think he's got a calling on my life can I try to pursue that dream when I'm this broken cuz what we think is as soon as I can figure out how to fix myself then I can go be used by God right so I said Harv you got me I'm broken can I go lead our church broken he said Sean who searches it I went God's he goes whose God's Harv I'm sorry whose church is he I said it like five it's God's church Harv he goes oh okay and then he just writes on his little iPad I don't know what he writes but I don't like it he goes if if it was your church who would you want leading it guy who's got it all put together guy who seems to have all the answers who seems to know everything who barely needs to rely on you or would you want the guy that is so broken all he can do is rely on you because which one you want leading that church I said I think the broken guy and it's a church if you'll have me I'll continue to lead this church broken to the best of my ability the last thing that needed to come to a necessary ending is I had to stop trying to perform for God and I want to challenge you to think about that as well you don't have to perform for God we just launched the Bible app the one year reading plan on our app and my goal is that as a church family we go through the Bible this year together but you don't have to not miss a day for him to approve of you you don't have to perform but see I was so missing out on that I took this famous verse Philippians 4:13 there's there's there's 15 people in this room at least who have this tattooed on their body right now famous first I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me but see then there's the sjv Shaun Johnson version and this is this is the truth I realized this this summer this is the truth about how I've been living put my version up I better figure out how to do all things for Christ who watches me that's how I've been living man there's a lot of anxiety and depression that comes with that lifestyle it's a lot of spiritual burnout that comes with that lifestyle there's a whole bunch of I feel like a hypocrite Who am I kidding I ought to just throw in the towel on the whole thing there's a whole lot of that that comes with living that way it's not I better figure out how to do all things for Christ who watches me it's if I would stop trying to do it on my own things that I could never get through on my own things that were impossible for me become possible because it's him who actually works through me and it's his power that allows me to do things and make it through things and survive things and become victorious and things that I could never do on my own that's how we have a relationship with Jesus so there's a real common denominator for me in all my issues it was trying to do stuff on my own apart from God because somehow that felt heroic and then it was trying to perform for God and I bet some of you know what that's like and it is exhausting isn't it and here's God's answer cuz he knows how we are we know that with nothing but pure motives we say I wanted I wanna I want to be good for you God God's going you don't have to be anything you don't have to do anything for me my son has done it all for you and so he says he says here's what I want from you here's what you need and I believe some of us need this today are you tired worn out burned out on religion come to me that's the invitation come to me get away with me and you'll recover your life how many of us need that get away with me and you'll recover your life I'll show you how to take a real rest walk with me and work with me watch how I do it learn the unforced unforced rhythms of grace that's the opposite of I better do more and I better perform better so that my God will love me it's unforced rhythms of grace I won't lay anything heavier ill-fitting on you keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly and that be nice the key phrase there is come to me you're tired you tired of trying to fight through everything on your own he says come to me take one step of faith towards me and I'll change everything at every location would you guys stand to your feet I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do right now I'm gonna do something that I maybe have done once in 15 years by the way we're celebrating our 15 anniversary next week if I didn't tell you do not miss next week if you've been waiting for the perfect week to invite somebody to church its next week but right now let's not miss this moment I believe there's so many people in this room and in all of our other locations that right now God is saying come to me it's time to put some things to death it's time for some parts of your life to come to a necessary ending and I think for us it starts with I must stop trying to do this on my own and I'm gonna take a step over here where you are and let your Holy Spirit begin to work through me and do things I could never do on my own and so I want to invite you tonight to come to Jesus actually take a step out of your seat and come down front when I got saved we call this the altar now it's just a roped-off area to keep weird people from jumping on the stage I want to invite you to actually step out of your seat and I know that some of you are in a lobby right now that's okay step out of your seat and head to the front I know some of you were in the overflow right now that's all right step out of your seat and head to the front it's just this I want this to be a mile marker for us as a church family or a whole bunch of us go this was the time when I just flat-out decided I'm not enough but me plus God yeah that's enough and that's what I need and so it we're gonna sing a song called come to the altar and literally this song is about just admitting I'm at the end of myself not gonna do this anymore on my own I'm gonna take him up on this invitation to actually come to him and receive from him unforced rhythms of grace so as they start this song I want to encourage you at every location take a step of faith out of your seat towards the front and let's just pray and let's worship and let's let God fill us up god I thank you for this moment I thank you that you are with us in this room and in every other room right now I thank you that you're with us as people are listing in a car and in the office and at the gym and outside and in their homes I thank you God that your presence is with us right now and you are working you are speaking you are moving in our hearts and our minds and I pray God that we would not miss this moment but we would respond to what you're doing I pray God that for a whole bunch of us we would realize I gotta stop trying to do this on my own I need G part of the equation and so today I take a step of faith forward and say God I need you to do what I can't do on my own with everyone's head bowed and every eye closed if you're in here today or at any other location and you know this this is my time God brought me here because I need to put my faith in him for the very first time I need to stop trying to be my own Savior I need a Savior I need to say God would you forgive me of my sins and be the Lord of my life to the best of my ability I want to choose you and follow you and I know this is my moment to make that decision if that's you shoot your hands up and almost say a prayer for you I'll come on Church hands all over the place Red Rock Church make some noise heaven is getting more crowded right now lives are being changed right now in Jesus name the second question is this there is something in your life and you know it tonight you say god I know what you're speaking to me about would you help me put it to death would you help me stop would you help me realize that's that that part needs to come to a necessary ending and today god I say would you help me experience victory in that area if that's you raise your hand and I'm gonna say a prayer for you right now churches hands all over the place God you know exactly why you brought us here you know what we've been through but more importantly you know what you are doing in our hearts and lives in this moment and where you want to take us and I thank you for the eternal lives that are being changed I thank you for those of us who are going to take one step of faith towards you tonight and begin to experience life to the fullest the kind of life that you have in store for us god we step out in faith and ask you to move in our lives in Jesus name Red Rocks Church everybody said Church step out of your seat step out of your comfort zone take a step towards your God and let's worship

Channel: Red Rocks Church

Views: 15,857

Rating: 4.9491525 out of 5

Keywords: anxiety, depression, mental health, church mental health, pastor with anxiety, pastor with depression, sermons about mental health, sermons about stress, sermons about anxiety, sermons about depression, christian and depressed, sad and christian, overwhelmed and christian, god and mental health, god and depression, god and anxiety, how to believe in god when you're anxious, pastor authenticity

Id: KQGtsgTIyy0

Length: 56min 26sec (3386 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 05 2020