A Biblical Husband and Family - Paul Washer

[Music] [Music] if we go for a moment to the Book of Genesis Chapter 18 Genesis 18 verse 17 the Lord said shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed for I have chosen him so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and Justice so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what he has spoken about him here we see the great Promises of God with regard to Abraham in time with regard to the nation of Israel but I want you to see in the midst of this God's concern for the family God's concern for the family Abraham's family verse 19 for I have chosen him it doesn't say so that he might evangelize the Nations it doesn't say so that he might be a great church planter says I have chosen him so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and Justice so he has commanded him to care for a family and the impact of caring for a family is absolutely phenomenal and it is important before God now there are many people who are so involved in Ministry and so involved in things such as that in the name of Jesus Christ that they have little time for their family they are deceiving themselves they are in sin and they are hurting their family let me ask you a question is there anyone in the the old Covenant more important than Moses not really you think about the old Covenant you think about Moses do you think that there's anybody in here in this room that's going to have a Ministry with more impact than Moses God sent Moses down to Egypt to deliver a people his entire Redemptive plan for Israel is founded upon this man Moses he was very very important and I doubt very seriously whether any of us will have such a Ministry but as Moses was headed toward Egypt to do God's will God met him in the way to kill him and why did he meet him in the way to kill him because he had not circumcised his son he had not done the duty of a father to his children God was going to do some radically different things because of the Disobedience of a man now we know in God's Providence he saw it through worked it out but what I want you to see is this if you're a single man and you want as a single man to preach and Minister 24 hours a day without stopping then you do that praise the Lord don't sleep don't eat preach witness do all those things and you can why because there are portions of scripture that have nothing to do with you as a single man you are free from many of the commands of God because you are single but when you take a wife then many of the scriptures that in your singleness did not apply to you they now apply to you and your life and Ministry has to change and then from there after you take a wife you are still free from certain commands why because you do not have children but when in God's Providence he gives you children then your life as a couple must change in the West we are seeing the disintegration of the family and in many places in the west the family is already disintegrated destroyed gone the birth rate now in Europe is in such a state among Europeans that they will never recover do you realize that do you realize that your birth rate now as Europeans is to such a low degree it has fallen beyond the number that historically a people can recover you will not recover because you did not see that family and the raising of children is one of the greatest blessings that can ever be given to individuals you will not recover as a nation the United States is about to drop below that statistical Mark itself but most of the European countries are already there it means you will never recover as a people because we have been taught to despise the family to despise God's institution of marriage to despise God's institution of giving ourselves in the most intimate relationships spouses parents and children now first of all I want us to deal with something that I think is very very important if I honestly if I had my way I wouldn't go anywhere this afternoon and I wouldn't preach evangelistically tonight why because this is so important and if you don't get these things you're not going to have a Biblical Church if you're not serious about biblical families now let me share something with you there are a lot of people that are talking about family family family family integrated churches and things like this let me say something at the very beginning that's very important the family is one thing the church is another thing you don't try to put the two together God has ordained us family and he's given us rules with regard principles and wisdom with regard to how that family ought to function and what its purposes are but God has also given us a church and he's given us in scripture what the purposes of church should be how churches are supposed to function we should not try to bring these two things together we shouldn't try to say bring family into church and make family more important than church or make church more important than family or bring the two together no we should just obey God with regard to what he says about the family and we should obey God with regard to what he says about the church that's all it's it's very very simple now the two are not against one another but they are two different institutions okay I have seen family movements in churches now where only dad Give the Lord supper to their children and all sorts of things or that the there's no such thing as Elders because I'm the head of my home no that's not true there are elders and as a father you are head of your home but they're two separate things and they work together okay now I want us to look at Genesis for a moment chapter 1 verse 26 then God said let us make man in our image according to our likeness and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the Earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the ground now there is uh the idea um and there's some really there's some truth in it of dominion of taking Dominion men were created Man was created not just to sit still not just to live without purpose but here we can see that he was commanded he said let us make man in our image according to our likeness and let them rule over the fish of the sea over the birds of the sky over the cattle and over the Earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the ground there was the idea that men were called to subdue the Earth to be stewards of God to take care of the world to do God's bidding in the world now there are some people who' have taken that and said yes we need to go out we need to take dominion and they get all involved in politics and everything else trying to spread Christianity and that's what not what this is teaching there is a sense in which men you males you are called to take Dominion to be stewards over this Earth but how is that to be done that is to be done always through the promotion of God's kingdom and God's will as men we are to have a purpose and our purpose is set forth by that perfect man Jesus Christ and it is seen so clearly in his model prayer in Matthew 6 he stands there and he says Our Father who art in heaven Hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven sir every time someone looks at your life that's what they ought to see as a man when they look you in the eye that's what they ought to see you are a man consumed with a passion that God's name be holy that it be separated as special and unique throughout the world you are working for the coming of his kingdom and the advancement of his will on this planet you are not about yourself you are not about your own dreams you are not about your own own plans you are not about your own needs you are not about your own wants you are about him and the doing of his will you are a servant of God Called to be a steward do you understand that now why am I teaching this about the family well in the family there is a thing that we call headship ship the Bible does teach that a man is to lead his family it does teach that and if you don't like that I understand that but do not call yourself biblical because you're not you're influenced by your own culture pract you're influenced by the teachings of feminism and everything else but you're not biblical okay let's just stay that there is teaching in scripture about the headship of of a man in his family there is teaching about submission the wife is to submit to her husband many people hate that because of teachings of feminism other people hate it because of the massive abuses in regard to that teaching let me just give you an example let's go back to what I was teaching about men if my wife looks at me and she sees a man who is consumed with himself consumed with his own desires consumed with his own career consumed with his own Hobbies maybe even consumed with his religion consumed with his ministry consumed with his own religious uh goals then when she reads in Scripture that she ought to submit to that man it creates nothing but anger and bitterness in her life I'm going to have I'm called to be the helper to this man's purposes and all his purposes are about him that just creates bitterness anger okay but if my wife wife looks at me and sees a man who has thrown away his own purposes thrown down his own personal whims and desires and she sees a man who is given toward this Hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done she sees a man given to the purposes of God then it is a lot easier for her to say I will work with him I will submit to that his leadership because his leadership is not directed toward his own goals his own purposes it's directed toward the will of God and I see in his life sacrifice I see in his life desire passion and love for others thus I will join him do you see that if men have a sin a specific sin it is self-centeredness selfishness as a matter of fact most men just marry their mom they want to marry someone who's going to take care of them just like good old mom took care of them now but let's look at something else let's say that that man is all about Lord Hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done so he's in the ministry 24 hours a day and he is neglecting his wife and he's neglecting his children then she looks at that and goes this is well once again anger bitterness as a man my life must be directed toward Hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done done but my Ministry of advancing God's will on this Earth should be marked out in concentric circles thy kingdom come thy will be done first of all in me if I'm going to be a useful servant of the most high God his kingdom has to come in me his will has to come in me I must be conformed to the image of Christ I must work on self in order to be a useful servant well I can only be a useful servant to the degree that I am conformed to the image of Christ my character must change I must learn to live the principles of Jesus Christ of he did not come to serve him to be served but to serve others Le unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies it abideth alone but if it die it bringeth forth much fruit to live the sacrificial cross life of Jesus Christ that of giving your life away so when I talk about thy kingdom come thy will be done I can't be trying to go out and try to advance the kingdom in different places when the kingdom isn't advancing in me to bring Christianity Upon A people when I myself don't live the principles of Christianity living the radical Christian life is not listening to Christian music or wearing a t-shirt with a verse on the back of it it is dying to self in service to others but where does that service begin for me it begins with my wife it doesn't begin with Lost Cities it doesn't begin with countries where the gospel isn't preached as a man who in the Providence of God is now married my first Ministry after dealing with my own Conformity my own need for growth it is to turn to this woman and to minister to her now what does that look like we're going to talk about that later but I am not one flesh with anyone else on this planet I am one flesh with her she is the most important person in my life with regard to Priority she is the most important Ministry in my life are you you getting me and if I jump over her to minister to others I'm wrong I'm just wrong as a matter of fact the Bible says if my Ministry toward her is not biblical I can't even be a leader in the church then after my wife my next Ministry is my children my children what does it matter if a man gain the whole world and lose his family what does it matter if a man evangelized the whole world and lose his family my next priority are my children and this is not my decision this is in the Providence of God in the Providence of God I have a wife in the Providence of God I have children and I am to live out the Christian life before her and I am to live out the Christian life before them and then from there it's the people of God the people of God one of the things that churches do probably more more than anything else that I've ever seen is they now you listen to me now you listen to me very careful and I'm talking about sincere men do this they starve the people of God to death and then they use them as slaves to advance their own kingdom listen to me do I care about the Lost no one can accuse me of not caring about the lost but I can tell you this I care a lot more about you do good unto all men but first of all to those of the household of faith many churches start and they're all about evangelism all about evangelism all about evangelism every Sunday morning every Sunday night every Wednesday they're all about evangelism evangelism and the Sheep are starving to death the Sheep are starving to death and so they don't feed the sheep but they get the Sheep mobilized to go out there win a bunch of people while the Sheep are starving to death their families are a disaster their children are a disaster and everything else but it's a it's a really going church so after my wife and after my children it is the people of God and then from there it is the world it is the world this is so important now I want us to uh well there's so much that I want to I'm just going to have to pick and choose a little bit I want you to look at Verse 18 of chapter 2 I guess we'll just go there then the Lord God said it is not good for the man to be alone now there are exceptions Jesus said that there are men who make themselves Unix for the sake of the Kingdom there are men who have it appears and women who have a gift which does not they have no need of marriage and that's a wonderful thing but by and large it is not good for a man to be alone now it's not only because of sexual desire but I believe there's another reason marriage is probably one of the greatest catalysts are instruments in sanctification I thought I was spiritual I mean I'm preaching in the jungles I'm going days without food and everything else for the sake of Christ I I'm a spiritual man and I got married and I discovered how unspiritual I truly truly was a selfish immature little brat of a boy who knew nothing about love nothing about love okay so marriage is a great instrument to sanctification but we're going to talk about that in a minute but I I want to just point out something here it says I will make a helper suitable for him now these are you know these types of passages this passage I will make a helper suitable for him and passages like submission they have to be taught and their beautiful doctrines but they're fright frightening and I'll tell you why they're frightening not just because they contradict culture they're frightening because of wicked religious males that's why they're frightened Wicked religious males there is nothing worse on the face of the Earth than a man who is unconverted and yet takes the Bible seriously I I'm I'm not kidding you it's it's horrid when a man starts to try to order his house according to the laws and the commands and the precepts of scripture and his heart is not converted he becomes he becomes a Hitler he becomes a Nero it's oppressive it's bondage it's it's horrible the wife is beaten down the children have no security it's just horrid and I have seen men men who dot every eye and cross every tea in religion take verses like this and just use it to oppress their families and and it of all men they ought to fear on Judgment Day When God casts their soul into hell for what they've done and so I want you to know that I'm aware of that when I teach this and I hate it we're not talking about a man like that we're talking about a man who realizes he has been given Authority in the home in order to lay down his life for his wife for her benefit and to lay down his life for his children his children's benefit the promotion of them listen I can tell what kind of husband you are I just need to look at your wife if I I see a little battered woman walking four steps behind you like a wilted flower just crumbling up I know you're a vicious man a neglectful man a selfish man when men truly live like Christ and become the heads of their home the wife's life is promoted and blessed and becomes a fruitful Vine the children likewise now again I'm speaking in generalities like in the Book of Proverbs a Godly Man may have a wife that greatly struggles over things a Godly Man may have a wife that uh children that struggle over things but it's not because he's oppressed them okay and so I want you to realize that that these text are for our blessing now I was created to lead my home I was regenerated and called to lead my home and I lead my home I find my greatest happiness in taking the responsibility to lead my home it's frightening because I know that I will stand before God one day and have have to give an account of how I took care of his daughter but at the same time I want you to know something my wife finds her greatest joy in being a helper suitable for me now the world hates that culture hates it if right now a TV network was in here they would be putting this all over Denmark this primitive prehistoric Neanderthal teaching well just let me just let me talk to them for a second I would say this isn't it you that are coming out with all the reports about how society's falling apart how immorality is rampant how everything just socially seems to be disintegrating you have all the an aners but you yourself admit that your entire world is falling apart why is it falling apart because we've refused to obey Our God period women have been taught that to be a wife and a mother is a horrid thing it's an unusual thing it's almost sick it's perverse you should be out there you should be you got a career you've got this you've got that that's a lie that's a lie I'm not saying that women shouldn't and cannot be educated I'm not saying that they cannot do things outside of the home and I'm not saying certainly that women are just an extension of their husband but what I am saying is as I have said I will find my greatest joy in being a servant within the context of my family my wife and my children my wife will find her greatest joy doing the same thing I'm not asking her to do something I'm not doing do you see what I'm saying she will find her greatest joy in promoting the Kingdom of Heaven through her family as I will find my greatest joy in doing the same and as I have been called to set a course to obeying God's commands in in advancing his kingdom on this Earth she has been called to come alongside me and help me in this endeavor do you see that I hope so now I want us to go for A Moment Like I said man we're really jumping around um I want to go to Romans chapter 8 and show you the purpose of marriage Romans 8:28 and we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God to those who are called according to his purpose for whom he fornew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son so that he would be the firstborn among many Brethren this is one of the most important passages in all the Bible with regard to marriage you're seeing there going what For Those whom he forne he also predestined to become conformed to the image of his son what is the purpose of marriage a lot of Christian books even sincere ones have it very wrong the purpose of marriage is not to create a little heaven on Earth it's not to fill your life with bliss it's not to meet all your needs if I meet all my wife's needs I've it's idolatry if she meets all my needs it's idolatry my wife was not created to meet all my needs and I was not created to meet hers we can't that's why marriages fall apart you expect your spouse to do something they were never intended to do Christ is to meet my wife's needs only he can do that and only Christ can meet mine now what is the purpose of marriage the purpose of marriage is that through marriage I might become and my wife might become conformed to the image of Jesus Christ that's the purpose of marriage and if you get this it will make your marriage so strong now I have been called by God into the ministry to preach I have been called to preach and you know as in the you might not say that this much here in this this country but in my country they always say things like yep he was called to preach he turned his back away from his calling and God killed him you know God you if God calls you to preach and you don't preach God will kill you well I don't know I know if you're out of God's will you will get discipline but I'm not so sure God Delights so much in killing people but there is a sense in which I have been called and that calling is irrevocable it's not based upon me I didn't make the decision God called me into the ministry now if it goes good in the ministry wonderful if it goes terrible I'm not going anywhere why because I didn't get into the ministry for the sake of the ministry or for some benefit to myself I got into the ministry because God called me to go into the ministry now a young man will come into my office and he's got that look you know and I say what's up I'm in love you're in love yeah with who with so and so well and and oh I want to marry her well why sit down well I want to marry her because just just beautiful and um and when we're together I just feel wonderful and we C we can talk and uh we just do things together and I just feel like man she completes me I have a big stick that I use and I have it behind my chair that when they say that I just slap them in the head with it wake them up a little bit and I say now okay now let me see if I'm following you if I'm understanding what you're saying you want to marry this girl because she meets all your selfish self-centered desires no that's not what I mean but young man that's exactly what you just said you want to marry her because she's beautiful what what happens when she's not beautiful anymore or when someone else comes along that's more beautiful than she is what are you going to do you want to be with her and marry her because you can talk to her what happens when you can talk to your secretary a lot easier than you can talk with your wife because that's going to happen too so what are you telling me you see the problem that's why people come together in secular societies do you realize that it's all out of selfish self-centered desires and that's why their relationships fall apart do you see that but if you're a secular culture you have no other reason to come together unless it's for the benefit of the state I mean why do you come together you're not supposed to be like you think being a radical Christian is because you can stand on a park bench and preach this is radical Christianity when you say I'm going to bind myself to a person for life whether I get any benefit out of of it or not because God's called me to do so now why am I married to chat Casado de washer my wife is from Peru why am I married to her well you want the Rock Solid basis for it now this isn't all my marriage but this is the this is the foundation of it I am married to her because in the same way that God called me into the ministry and that calling is irrevocable I believe that God has called me to lay down my life for this woman to lay down my life in service to his daughter that's what that's why I'm married you say well that's not very romantic I didn't say that was my marriage I said that was the foundation of it now look at this my wife is is is is beautiful she's a little flashy because she's Latin she's beautiful now let's say that some sort of chemical imbalance throws off her whole life and she's not beautiful anymore or let's say that she's in a car accident and she's crippled I'm not going anywhere why because I didn't marry her because she's beautiful I married her because an irrevocable calling on my life to lay down my life for a daughter of God do you see that do you see that so what happens if if in our relationship we we can't talk that much you know you pass through those times where it just seems like you're not communicating I'm not going anywhere cuz I didn't marry her for that I married her because God called me so see my entire marriage I don't answer to my wife necessarily I answer to him it doesn't see I can argue with her and say well you know I'm not going to love you as Christ loved the church because you don't respect me as Christ tells you to respect me well you don't do that either so when you start doing it I'll start doing it see I can't do that because it's just God says both of you shut up I commanded you to lay down your life for her whether or not she respects you appreciates it or corresponds accordingly you obey me see I'm trapped now I mean God's Got Me trapped here there's nothing I can do there's nothing I want to do except obey him more so you see our marriage is founded upon this now let's look at something something else you know these dating services on the internet find the person that's compatible to you okay that's kind of scary find the person that's compatible to you okay it's not of God it's not of God you say why because God usually doesn't do that I mean I guess he can but it's very rare I want to marry a woman who just loves all the stuff I love you you want to marry a woman who loves all the stuff you love she so that she'll do everything you want to do you selfish person God for the most part is going to give you a wife or give you a husband that is not compatible to you and you go oh man then maybe I was supposed to marry him but see the world tells you just the opposite don't they they tell you just the opposite why because everything the world's going to tell you is selfish and self-centered they tell you just the opposite now here's the way it's going to be God will give you a mate who is strong in all the areas where they must be strong so that you are not tempted beyond what you can bear but God is going to give you a husband a wife who does not meet your expectations in many of the areas where you most want him or her to meet your expectations why because he hates you why is he doing this well first of all many of your expectations are probably carnal and self-centered but the most important reason is this when you think about Jesus what do you think about do you think about his wrath his judgment I don't I mean that's there but when I think about Jesus someone said describe for me Jesus what are the first words that pop into your mind with regard to Jesus it would be unconditional love grace and mercy okay now you know all those prayers that you make Lord I want to be like Jesus Lord I want to be conformed to the image of Christ okay God's going to give you a mate who does not meet all the conditions why because if you're married to a man or a woman who who meets all the conditions you will never learn how to love unconditionally do you see that you see in marriage you've got to ask yourself one question and it's the same question you've got to ask yourself in everything do you really want what God wants and most people and some of the times I don't see God wants your Conformity to the image of Christ you want a story book marriage you want a Hollywood marriage at least the one on screen not in the one in real life God wants you to become conformed to the image of Christ so why he will often times give you a mate who does not meet all the conditions and many times the most important conditions to you so that you learn to love a person who doesn't meet the conditions you learn to practice ice Grace favor unmerited poured out on this person do you see do you really want to be like Jesus this what marriage is about and it's that's listen and that's what makes it so wonderful so real and makes it so strong see most of the people in Denmark they come together and they go man this person's not what I thought they're not compatible to me we need to go out and find our soulmate what they're saying is this person didn't meet my self-centered selfish desires I'm going to go find somebody who can Christianity enters into this relationship with this person and when things are wonderful and marriage can be wonderful and there are times was wonderful you say wow this is great but in those times of conflict you're not shaken you're not thinking that you're made the mistake of marrying the wrong person none of that you know that this is the purpose these little conflicts these things going on so that you will learn not to conform your wife to your own image but you will learn to love her you will learn to love him and here's the thing you can try all day long to make your wife like you or you can try to make your husband like you and it's not going to work what you've both got to do is set on becoming like Christ it's like spokes on a bicycle wheel those spokes never touch but as this spoke is headed toward the axle and this spoke is headed toward the axle they both come together as my wife and I my wife and I are two very very different people very different but as she is headed toward Christ Conformity to Christ and I'm headed toward Conformity to Christ Christ we come together and the differences in our lives have been used by God to show me how unlike Christ I truly am I'll give you an example this is this embarrasses me to tell you but I'm going to tell you when I got married I thought my wife and I would be a Batman and Robin team you know tag team wrestling uh going out there witnessing in the streets and all kinds of stuff my wife when she opens the Bible it's amazing I mean the woman you know can just look at a passage and just start saying all kinds of wise things she can write and all kinds of things and and I was just but she wouldn't and I would be like look you're you're just so gifted you're wasting your life why don't you do this why don't you do that and you just and i' get so frustrated and one day she broke down crying in front of me and she said I just want to be your wife see I was trying to make her in my image she said I just want to be your wife let me throw something at you really quick pastor's wives boy if there was ever a title out of the pit of Hell that's one of them a p pastor's wife pastor's wife now listen when I was pastoring and I married chado and everybody says okay she's the pastor's wife she's supposed to lead the women's thing she's supposed to do this she's supposed to do that and one day I just had to straighten it all out so I got up in the pulpit and I said look I'm called to be Pastor I don't see any place in the Bible where she's called to be the pastor's wife she's called to be my wife not yours she is to be a Christian she is to grow in Christ she is to minister according to her gifts and her callings she is not the pastor's wife she is a person with her own unique callings and everything else she will be Godly as Christians ought to be Godly she will be a part of this Fellowship as Christians ought to be part of the fellowship but do not Heap upon her something God has not put upon her okay now when people meet my wife they're like man Paul washer's wife you know she's man man she's probably what she preaches on the streets she does all this stuff and then they they get really disappointed because this is what my wife does she goes to church on Sunday she goes to church on Wednesday over the Internet women will correspond with her and ask for her help every once in a while every once in a while she'll do a conference she'll Council girls things like that that'll come to our home and have need but my wife's Ministry she says look my w I have two Ministries my first Ministry is my husband my second Ministry are my children she dedicates her entire life to that that's her calling that's what she wants to do okay now why am I saying that your wife if if you're in the ministry your wife is not an extension of you she's called to be your helper but do you realize what it takes for a woman to manage an entire home do you realize what it takes for a woman to help you with the discipleship of your children in our case we homeschool so my wife is teaching every day our children it's a full-time full-time job okay so God brings two people together who often times aren't super compatible so that they would be conformed to the image of Christ and after the years you begin to see the wisdom in that and it's it's it's wonderful it's wonderful now let me share something with you about about so can't we haven't even really touched on anything let let let me share with you something about wife and children now this is a terrible illustration and it's kind of shocking and in reality it's probably not going to happen but I just use it in order to give you an idea of the way a family ought to be if I'm in a boat with my my wife and my three children and I'm the only one who can swim and the boat goes under who do I save I save my wife now why do I say that well boy how do I do all this the time I have you ever heard the St statement there's no love like a mother's love you ever heard that statement there's just no love like a mother's love well I don't find that anywhere in the Bible I do see that there's no love like a Father's Love now I'm going to say some things and some of you women now listen to me if I see you're about to jump out of your chair and run towards me I'm I'm running out the door okay don't get angry with me just listen to me the there is a sense in which there's a mother's love and and that's a wonderful thing but most women love their children in a parasitic way I know that sounds ugly most women are like parasites on their children and here's why the husband is not meeting the need needs of his wife with regard to love affection warmth tenderness all the things that he ought to be doing for her and so she gets it from her children and that is why later on in life when that son of hers meets a special girl that he wants to marry that Mom becomes a demon because for her that girl that just came into his life is like an adulteress she's taking away her Source the mother's source of love and affection and warmth holds on to the children now listen to me my two boys and my little girl will be the happiest children on the face of the Earth if they know that their daddy loves their mommy more than any other human being on the face of the Earth and they will be the happiest children in the world if they know their mother loves their father more than any human being on the face of the Earth because they're going to sit there and go mom and dad's not going anywhere this family is Rock Solid they're also going to learn to respect their mother because those boys aren't the most important thing in my life their mother is and they will learn to respect her as the most important person to me my daughter if she sees me love her mother as I ought to it will save her from a horrible life why your daughter is not going to marry any higher than you Dad and if you mistreat her mother she'll probably marry a man who does the same because all she'll know is that's what a husband does he neglects his wife he treats her as common so she'll marry a boy who does the same thing to her but if I love her mother as her mother ought to be loved when some little boy comes along and says I love you she'll just look at him and laugh you don't even know what love is I know what love is I've seen my father do it for 20 years go talk to my father learn from him and then come back and talk to me do you see now these are just a few things but we haven't even gotten into things like children their teaching their training and their discipline foreign words completely foreign why because in your culture as well as mine parents don't teach their children they don't train their children and they don't discipline their children the state or someone else teaches their children trains their children and nobody disciplines them all the things the Bible commanded you to do you've handed over to the state and that's why families are falling apart the idea of the proper way to seek a mate do you know what the Bible teaches regarding that the proper way to help your children seek a mate how to be involved in that Enterprise see here's the thing let me finish with this let's say that you've got a big BL bloody wound on your forehead okay just this big bloody wound horrible and you come up to me and go brother Paul um I need some counsel okay I've got this bloody wound on my head and I pretend like I haven't noticed it I've got this bloody wound on my head and um no one can figure out where it's coming from and could you just pray about it see if the Lord shows you something so I go sure you know so I decide I pray about it the Lord says well follow the person around for 24 hours okay so I follow you around I start at midnight and I follow you around and all of a sudden the Bell Chimes 1:00 Ding and you walk over to a brick wall and you go bam and hit yourself right in the forehead and I go well that that's interesting and then I follow you and it's 2:00 and the the Bell on the clock goes ding ding and you walk right over to a wall and go Bam Bam and I follow you for 24 hours I mean we get to 12:00 noon and you're like this I mean 12:00 hits and you're like just like a woodpecker on a tree just beating your head against a concrete wall so you you come to me the next day and said brother Paul has the Lord showed you anything I said yeah um look I'm no doctor but I think I figured out what your problem is what's that every time the Bell Chimes you hit your head against a brick wall yeah well stop it and your bloody wound will go away he told Israel in Isaiah 1 he said from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet there's not one healthy part in you why will you continue doing this what was it what was happening God said do this and they said no or God said to do this and they didn't even know what God Said does that describe you why are my relationships messed up why is my family messed up why is this happening why is that happening now again let me say this though a man or woman can seek to do the things that God has shown them and still things don't go right all the time for example a person may not beat their head against a wall uh several times a day but they may have a brain tumor that didn't come from anything that they did or there may be secret works of Providence going on that no one can really understand I'm not telling you that if you like many teachers today that if you do all these different things everything in your life is going to turn out wonderful but I will tell you this you will avoid much harm and things will function better it's like a man who comes to me and goes I just have a problem I get in fights all the time really goes yeah where in bars okay stop going to bars you won't get in fights doesn't mean someone won't walk up to him on a street corner and just punch him right in the mouth sometimes but he's going to get in a whole lot less fights if he stops going into the bar it's the same way if you begin to learn What God Says with regard to every aspect of your life things will go better they really will all right well let's pray father I come before you and and ask you to use this use this to help your people in Jesus name amen uh real quick I I brought a book up here that I I really want to recommend to you because it's just so balanced it's called teach them diligently by Lou priolo teach them diligently and um the the neat thing about this book is he um he does teach discipline and uh maybe maybe we can have another class or something before we leave and I can talk to you about that but he teaches discipline but here's what you need to understand discipline is something that happens way way way down the road after you have invested time in teaching time in training we have a rule at my home I try to finish my work at least by 5 o'l five times a week get up as early as I have to so that I can finish by 4:30 and I come home now we have a rule when I come home the children are mine the moment I walk in that door they're mine they no longer belong to their mom they're mine mom has had them all day they're mine to invest my life in them why did I have children question why do you have children if you're going to have someone else raise them train them teach them everything else so when dad comes home he doesn't sit in his Lazy Boy chair and just relax their mind until they go to bed and I put them to bed I'm not trying to point to myself I'm just saying my work hasn't stopped when I have just provided for my family I provide for my family just so I can get home to be able to be with my family and when those kids go to bed then it's their mom and when Mom goes to bed then I can go to bed do you see that if you don't want to do these types of things then just be single okay all right this is uh teach them diligently how to use the scriptures in child training L priolo I'll just said it here if anyone wants to look at it but it's a great book all right Kim [Music]

Channel: I'll Be Honest

Views: 279,833

Keywords: paul, washer, biblical, husband, family, wife, children, house, church, denmark

Id: 198H70tDF8g

Length: 64min 5sec (3845 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2009