9 Ways to Slice a Pineapple

you suck at cooking yeah you totally suck today we're slicing The Majestic pineapple not to be confused with common and boring pineapples we'll start by slicing off the pineapples Punk hairstyle because pineapples are so fibrous you can jam it back on like velcro and it will stick then we'll slice off the pineapple bottom and then slice off the pineapple shell along the curve you'll notice that the shell was being held on by rivets which don't have the minerals you'd get from normal iron rivets so it's best to avoid consuming them the easiest and most wasteful way to handle the rivets is to cut off more of the pineapple's exterior walls until they're gone you can also cut the rivets out individually if you've got a lot of time and confidence in your hands but if you're feeling both crafty and fancy notice that the rivets are in rows and you can simply cut a few at a time with two angle cuts the result is a pineapple that not only looks fancy but tastes exactly the same from there we'll slice the pineapple in half vertically then we'll slice those vertices vertically again then slice out the center of the pineapple which is made of cork then cut those pineapple strips into pineapple bites you'll know you've cut it properly if you can stack it at least 22 pieces high if you prefer to cut pineapple rings because you want to play pineapple wine bottle ring toss simply remove the Shell with one of the previous methods then cut the pineapple horizontally and then take the most boring cookie cutter of all time to cut out the center and there you have your pineapple rings which you can give to kids as Donuts if you're against removing the pineapple's protective shell then just cut the pineapple vertically cut out the center and then slice it into pieces then simply use the edge of the pineapple like it's a pizza crust which is only a handle and never to be eaten you can also cut the ends off throw it in a box and give it a vigorous Shake it's not a perfect method but it will get you most of the way there you can also take your pineapple and hit the edges of it against your counter firmly to loosen the rivets then you can slice around the bottom screw in your Corkscrew and then slide the pineapple out then use the pineapple crust as a fancy beer goblet to impress both your friends and your enemies you can of course punch the pineapple in the face you can also use the classic and traditional pinata method you can also rub the pineapple against your shirt which will create a bunch of static electricity and a lot of overconfidence in tape another thing you can do is wrap your pineapple in thin wire and then slice a different pineapple because the one you wrapped in wire will be too difficult to cut on account of the wire you wrapped around it pineapple on Pizza is a polarizing issue but most people don't know that pizza originated in the Polynesian Triangle which is where pizza gets its shape and was originally made on pineapple crust Italians would later replace the pineapple with dough and shamefully claim that they invented pizza themselves which is a culinary Injustice which lives on to this day

Channel: You Suck At Cooking

Views: 469,158

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Id: Yd0hwou8kSA

Length: 3min 0sec (180 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 06 2023