6 Ways to Deal with Narcissists’ False Accusations

narcissists love to accuse you of things falsely that is their mo in this video i'm going to give you six yes count them six ways to deal with narcissist false allegations you will not want to miss this video so stay tuned [Music] hey there i'm rebecca sung and i am an attorney i am a narcissist negotiation expert and on this channel and in these videos i teach you how to deal with the drama trauma and chaos of and how to get most importantly how to get out of these relationships with narcissists so you are going to want to make sure that you subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell so that you can make sure that when i upload brand new content you are the first to know and you will be able to jump right on it and watch these brand new videos okay so make sure you subscribe and hit that notification bell okay so what do narcissists love to do they love to accuse you of things falsely why do they love to accuse you of things falsely because they love to trigger you they love to get under your skin but let's take that a step even further okay so what has been going on in your relationship all right so first of all you have probably been supplying them you've been giving them narcissistic supply it started off where they love bombed you they love bomb dew they came on super strong were impossible to resist they were charming they were charismatic they seemed perfect at the beginning am i right okay now you thought that they were amazing you thought they were wonderful maybe you thought they even loved you maybe you thought that they were perfect you know all of these things now it was all a manipulation i'm sorry to have to tell you this it was all the manipulation it was all meant to get this form of supply from you now i have to tell you there are a couple of different kinds of supply what you've probably been giving them is like the best form of supply and the best forms of supply for them are you know adulation service making them look good really really stroking their ego at the top level you know there's these different phases of a narcissistic relationship there's the love bombing and then you go into the devaluing and then there's the discarding and i have videos by the way on all the different phases of a narcissistic relationship they love bombing the devaluing and the discarding definitely check out my videos on all of those phases of a narcissistic relationship if you haven't checked those out when you go to leave a narcissistic relationship whether it's you leaving or them leaving that's when you go into that discard phase that's when you see that smear campaign start that's the birth of the smear campaign by the way can start even before you even realize that the discard phase has started all right and i do have a whole video on how to shut down a narcissistic smear campaign you can check that out too but what's happening is during this discard phase is that you've become public public enemy number one and you're no longer giving them the best form of supply anymore so now they're going to want to continue to get supply from you but they're just going to take it in the lower form of supply which is making you miserable making you squirm showing them that they can still have control over you in some way and so how are they going to do that they're going to do these false allegations and so they're going to start either through the court system which as what i've seen as an attorney by the way over and over and over again i mean they file this stuff either through the pleadings so you'll see it in the divorce pleadings well they'll actually say these things in the divorce petition they'll say father was a you know molester i mean i've seen that horrible horrible things like that or a wife feeder or a child beater or you know they will say you know the worst possible things you can imagine where you think oh my gosh i never even touched them the worst possible things or they will just even say things like they didn't pay child support they withheld money things like that or they spent lots of money they spent lots of money on the people lies about things like that you will see those kinds of things in actual documents that are filed with the court i think it's impo important that we walk through the types of false allegations that you will see then the other types of false allegations that you will see as well are people will see in in the actual letters they go back and forth between the attorneys they'll tell their attorney they didn't feed the children that the children ate candy all weekend long or nothing all weekend long or pizza or junk food all the entire time that they were with the dad or the mom or that the whole time they were with the dad or the mom they were with a babysitter or nobody all kinds of things i mean the types of false allegations accusations when you're dealing with narcissists are really endless i mean completely infinite and honestly the funny thing is they will contradict themselves over and over and over again that's the thing that's really interesting and and also very very helpful for you because this is where you can start building your leverage this is where my slave methodology will very very much help you strategy leverage anticipate where they're going to go be two steps ahead of them and focus on you your case and your position that's what the slay methodology is and it will very much help you because they are liars and you know what judges hate more than anything they hate liars and narcissists are lazy they're also very very lazy they also ignore court orders and judges hate lazy liars who ignore court orders and narcissists are all of those things and i'll tell you that at the end of the day if you are just diligent in keeping track of these things you really will be able to catch them and so the thing that you have to remember is to just keep your wits about you and and remember who you're dealing with and not allow them to get the best of you understand who it is that you're dealing with and every time they do one of those things that they do just say thank you very much you just gave me something else understand that what it is that you're building you have to play a little bit of the long game all right so i'm going to give you six ways to deal with the narcissist false allegations but just understand that yes they do this yes they're trying to trigger you yes they're trying to get you to look like the crazy one that's why they do it they want you to be triggered number one because they get supply from it number two they want you to look like the crazy one so when you get sucked into that mud and you react they go oh look you're the crazy one and you you took that bait hook line and sinker they use your reaction against you and there you go don't get sucked into it so that's number two and then number three as long as you are giving them that supply as long as they catch that fish they will never leave you alone because you are giving them that supply so you don't want to go into it because of that as well all right six ways to deal with the nurses is false allegations number one you can respond do not react do not react and i know you know that that was where i was going right you know it's like they got the fish do not give them that unless you want to be that fish that they've reeled in don't be that for them you know you can respond do not react just picture yourself you're that fish that they've reeled in okay don't be that so that's one way to deal with the narcissist false allegations number two make sure to document document document and in my slay program i have the 12 areas that you should be documenting i have a whole chart on that and i have a whole module on this but make sure that you are being very very diligent on how you are documenting and don't do it in real time please do yourself a favor and do it in real time it is so hard to go back and try to recreate oh what was that what day was that and they do they give you so much material they really do i remember a case one time where you know the wife through the son it was like a 14 year old son threw him out of the house at you know four o'clock in the morning just she had a big fight with the sun it's like in the middle of december it was like cold out his husband had to go pick up the sun and she sends the husband an email saying yeah it's probably better if we take some time apart from each other you should call the school bus service and have the bus or picking him up at your house you know for now and then the next thing you know the lawyer gets a motion saying that husband has been withholding son from wife and all of this stuff when there's an email out there that says you know you should call the bus service i mean it's like mind blowing you know but this is the kind of thing that they do so that's why you document document document you keep it in a file you know you just have all this stuff you have it ready to go so that you don't have to go back you don't have to go look for all this stuff what day was that you know what i'm saying keep track of it in real time and i have a whole other video by the way on how to keep your cool against narcissists definitely check that out too so that's number two number three is don't get sucked into the mud do not get sucked into the mud start looking at it as if you're a third party you know try try starting to look at it as if you're an observer i have a video where i was interviewing judge lynn toller from television's divorce court and she talked about that too where you just start looking at it as if you're looking at something happening oh i see that you're upset oh i see that you know you are unhappy about something you want to tell me more about that you know because you have to understand that these are people who are just deeply unhappy and that that's what you're dealing with so you know don't don't be surprised when they act like themselves be surprised if they act normal okay so that's number three way to deal with a narcissist false allegations and then number four is become like teflon when it comes to those guilt trips you know they're going to try to guilt you into things a lot of times you know that's another way that they try to suck you in to the this thing you know one way of course is they try to trigger you by getting you angry or saying things but another way is they try to guilt you into it oh you know i thought maybe you might want to take care of your family or i thought that you were a better mother than that but i guess not you know if something like that don't go for the guilt thing either you know become like teflon you know stand in your power you know what's right just remember you know keep your focus on what you know to be fair what you know to be what's right what you know to be what's equitable don't allow their manipulation to to get inside your head anymore because a lot of times the voices inside your head especially if you've been with this person for a long time are their voices and not your voices and not the voices of what's reality or what's your own voice and and that's why you know you've got to create these boundaries and you've got to start staying away from them and keeping your interactions as brief and unemotional as possible and just not allowing them to penetrate your space so don't allow them to penetrate okay so that's number four and by the way if you agree with me so far on all of this give me a spot on in the comments just say spot on so far and number five number five is use one method for communications and again this is your way of not allowing yourself to be attacked from 50 different directions right so you're going to use one method for communication and it really should be just email or an app if you have children you can use an app again they may try to goad you they may try to say oh you know why do you have to be so rigid we can talk in different directions we can talk how come we can't you know just meet somewhere or whatever especially because you know they're going to try to push the boundaries push the different directions just don't do that don't engage just say you know no we're going to use one form and it's going to be email you know and if you have kids an app is great and i do recommend especially having it turned into a court order because that way if they don't use the app you can file a motion for contempt or whatever because you know they're going to push the envelope and you need to start to heal and you need to start having time away because that's where you'll start to be able to move away from this whole situation okay so that's the fifth way that you get to deal with a narcissist false allegations one method for communication that can be tracked and finally the last way is try not to ever be alone with the narcissist because they'll say things i mean i had a client one time who they did the exchange and with the child and then after they did the exchange with the child the husband wrote in the app thanks for agreeing to switch weekends next weekend i really appreciate that that conversation never even took place i mean it was wild stuff you know but that's what they do that wasn't a false allegation it was just a false conversation but that's that's what they do it's like a wild odyssey when it comes to dealing with narcissists so you know really try not to be alone with the narcissist if you can try to do your exchanges in front of other people if possible you know i recommend parallel parenting plans when you're dealing with narcissists meaning you know you just try to have as little interaction as possible do your exchanges at schools meaning drop off in the morning pick up in the afternoons try not to ever have to see each other do all of your interaction through the app i mean as far as the communication goes so those are six ways that you can deal with a narcissist false allegations basically you're just trying to make sure that there's always a way that you can prove things and as i said you know there are always ways that you can beat narcissists in court it's actually very easy to beat narcissists in court i can help you do it i know how to win i know how to fight back against narcissist in court you can definitely start by grabbing my free crush my negotiation prep worksheet at win my negotiation dot com join my free private facebook group at narcissist negotiators with rebecca's song make sure you subscribe to this channel and hit that notification bell and remember they only win if you give in you can definitely beat them okay today's a great day to start negotiating your best life you can do this and thanks so much for joining me today and i will definitely see you in the next episode of negotiate your best life

Channel: Rebecca Zung

Views: 485,524

Keywords: 6 Ways to Deal with Narcissists’ False Accusations, Rebecca Zung, narcissistic ego injury, narcissistic ego collapse, narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, false accusations, verbal abuse, narcissistic supply examples, narcissistic supply explained, love bombing narcissist, narcissistic devaluation and discard, narcissistic smear campaign, narcissist false allegations, beating narcissists in divorce court, how to deal with false accusations, rebecca zung devalue

Id: s6UROZsjJNU

Length: 19min 28sec (1168 seconds)

Published: Mon May 23 2022