5 ways to beat The Purge

Blum house productions is a company known for producing low-budget films with huge profit margins an extreme example of this strategy is Paranormal Activity which had a budget of just $15,000 but grossed almost 200 million worldwide Blum House has continued with their strategy ever since and is now a household name in the horror genre with titles such as insidious happy deathday get out and most recently Halloween in their impressive lineup of commercially successful movies in 2013 Blum House released their biggest hit yet the purge it was a huge box-office success and even found its way into pop culture I know what this is you've been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run around robbing and murdering each other without consequence that's right what it's like the purge Morty that movie the purge since then for purge movies and a TV show have been made totaling over half a billion dollars in profits for Blum house I think the popularity of these films stem entirely from James demonaco genius premise one night a year all crime especially murder becomes legal and citizens are encouraged to release the Beast don't deliver in by the offer mention time will release the Beast on him and on you bass release the beast boys let the killing commence the government has urged the public to engage in criminal behavior as a form of catharsis living the remaining 364 days of the year relatively crime-free this premise allows for scenarios that are as brutal as they are entertaining and practically begs the question to its audience what would you do if the purge was real luckily for you I am here to answer that question for you I have studied the ancient manuscripts and I have practiced state of the art murdering technology I even scoured the most vile and disgusting places on the internet for information after six decades of research I created a list of five ways to beat the purge four of these cover how to survive the purge and the last will reveal how to eliminate the purge once and for all the purge runs for 12 hours from 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. on the night of March 21st during these twelve hours all crime including murder is legal during the purge class for weapons and blow are authorized for use so what exactly qualifies as a class for weapon or below in the real world this gets very very complicated because firearm classification as defined by federal legislation depends heavily on what specific law or regulation you're talking about the short answer however is that the four or more weapon classes that the purge refers to do not exist federal legislation very generally places weapons into eight categories but the categories have nothing to do with how destructive a weapon is weapons are not grouped by how much damage they caused but instead by what similarities they share machine guns for example is one category all weapons in this category can fire multiple projectiles with a single action of the trigger another category is shotguns a third is weapons made out of shotguns such as sawed-off shotguns my favorite category by far however is any other weapon which is meant to classify disguised weapons such as umbrella guns gun conceal his pens or my personal favorite knife guns I mean why would you disguise a weapon as another weapon look out he's got a knife no wait he's got a gun either either way arrest that arrest that guy the point is these categories are not a sliding scale of destructive capability and are clearly not where the purge was basing its class system on if it were the purge would only allow rifles pistols and shotguns variants but would not allow things like antique firearms relic weapons and much to my disappointment knife guns since these weapon classes are not based on real life the next step was to look at what was said by the director or the writers about what the weapon classes are and fortunately that is the same person for all four movies james demonaco well almost he didn't direct the first purge which is not the same as the first purge movie the first purge is actually the last purge movie but the first movie is called the purge unfortunately demonaco never mentions the weapon class as an interview si gave for the purge movies but if I missed something and there's some hidden interview somewhere like on a DVD featurette or something please tell me about it in the comments and throw out your DVD player because real movie fans know that the best movie quality can only be attained on vinyl okay all of this leads me to believe that the statement about the weapon classes has no strict definition at all and was just putting the script to sound cool but at the very least we can use the films themselves as guidelines for what is and what is not defined as a class for weapon or lower what we know for certain that is allowed during the purge is handheld weapons such as machetes knives needle fists exploding teddy bears really oh and guns lots and lots of guns the third rule of the purge is that government officials of ranking 10 are granted immunity from the purge and shall not be harmed again just like the weapon classes there is no such ranking system in the real world the closest analogue to rank 10 government officials in real life are the senior executive service positions these are the highest held government office positions that are hired rather than elected the senior executive service is the most likely line to draw as everyone above it would be extremely difficult to replace and losing them would be devastating to the functioning of the federal government so those are the official rules of the purge but there is one more condition to consider the purge was sold to the public as a way to reduce crime by giving the public one night a year where they can purge all the criminal feelings they have such as elaborate murder theft elaborate murder kidnapping the elaborate murder or you know elaborate murder however the real purpose of the purge is to eliminate the poor in order to decrease government spending because the poorest Americans are the largest burden on taxpayers each year in the real world over a trillion dollars or 20% of the federal government's 2018 budget was spent on Medicaid in social welfare programs if the people who depended on these programs were eliminated the government would stand to gain a trillion dollars every year since the poor can't afford to defend themselves the way wealthy people can they end up being the only victims of the purge unfortunately not nearly enough poor people were dying in order for this to work so the government began to covertly murder its own citizens they target the poorest areas of major cities and methodically slaughter civilians one apartment building at a time so the unofficial rule of the purge is that there are roaming battalions of the military killing off as many people as they can so with the rules of the purge out of the way here are some general tips for beating the purge before we get into the elaborate solutions don't purge first of all going out to commit a crime especially to maim and murder only invites unnecessary risk and the potential for you to get murdered in turn in the original movie a gang of private school kids break into the family's home with the intent to kill them and are partly successful but they get murdered right back by the family and their neighbors in the second film a group of wealthy purge enthusiasts trap the protagonists in an arena with nothing to defend themselves so that the players can hunt them down for sport without any risk of danger to themselves this backfires in the third film a group of kids who wants to steal a guy's candy bar because reasons ah a Wicca suit since tonight you don't want my candy bar on second thought these movies are actually not very good holy [ __ ] is that Bubba from Forrest Gump it is Bubba from Forrest Gump okay I'm warming up to this movie a little bit my [ __ ] [Music] a bit a huge mistake right oh so in the third film a group of kids try to murder a shop owner and in turn get murdered themselves it never works out for those who purge the only exception being like Heath Stanfield because what others before him were killed he was able to get out hello it's time to play everyone's favorite game show what is this old man thinking about is it a he's thinking about his late wife be he's going to try to figure out what he's doing on purge night or see he's thinking about I don't know waffles and [ __ ] find out after these messages [Music] and the answer is I'm thinking about waffles and [ __ ] if you absolutely must purge wear a mask wearing a mask not only keeps you on fleek on purge night but hiding your identity is paramount for the day after the purge if your co-workers neighbors or loved ones find out that you went on a killing spree during the purge legal or not they will probably not want to associate with you anymore there's no danger of going to prison but there is a real danger of social exile so wear a mask number three the original purge movie showed us that if someone wants to kill you even if you have a powerful security system there's virtually no way to stop someone from breaking into your home if they're determined enough at best security systems serve as deterrence in order to convince your would-be murderers that it really would be a lot easier to go kill someone else the problem is statistically speaking at least the person most likely to murder you is someone you already know fifty five percent of all murders are committed by spouses partners affiliates or ex-lovers the people most likely to kill you know where you live and are really only interested in killing you specifically they are not likely to be deterred by a security system so don't stay home because that's the first place they'll look Booya avoid major cities areas that have a lot of people not only increase your chances of running into murder tourists which are a thing for some reason but you could also come across a government death squad so why would you go there during the purge and now for our feature presentation here are the five solutions for beating the purge okay so what if your goal is to just survive the purge the best way for surviving depends on your level of income and in these films we have some protagonists that are very wealthy and others that are extremely poor with this in mind I've devised four different solutions for four different levels of income starting with someone who is as rich as the family from the first film and ending with someone who is as poor as the homeless guy they saved lastly I may have a solution for how to safely purge and get away with it and in the process stop the purge from happening altogether so if you're wealthy the solution for beating the purge is stupid easy leave the country there is no rule stipulating that the borders are closed during the purge nor is there any stipulation that citizens need to be stateside during in fact some tourists actually enter the country hoping to experience the purge for themselves so why not just leave if you're wealthy you can go on holiday when the purge occurs you can go to Fiji Egypt Hawaii actually don't go to Hawaii they're purging there you could however go to Iceland while others are wondering whether their ex-wife who they cheated on is about to bust down the front door with a howl not road or blaster which exists for some reason and sliced the goddamn head off with one of the 273 surrendered weapons from the hit show forged in fire which is on the History Channel even though it has nothing to do with history and speaking of why do they have a show about truckers driving on the ice because not only does it have nothing to do with history it's also the least interesting store I've ever seen and it is 11 goddamn seasons like how can a show about Ice Road Truckers on the goddamn History Channel have 11 seasons when firefly only got one season 1 and we get 11 seasons of Ice Road Truckers on the [ __ ] history tell are you [ __ ] kidding me you could instead be going on a tour of Game of Thrones in Reykjavik I was able to book a trip from Omaha Idaho a middle point in the country to wreck of a Iceland for a two-week period during the purge for only $1,700 a person which includes the flight and the hotel flights to Iceland are remarkably cheap food however is quite expensive so I added another three hundred dollars per week in food costs making for an estimated total of $2,300 per year this is by far and away the best solution if you can afford it the only problem with this strategy is that a lot of people are going to have the same idea purge season will become busier than Christmas Eve which means that as the night of the purge gets closer there's a real danger of being trapped in the country due to traffic and delayed flights so to avoid that the earlier you leave the country the better make it at least a two-week vacation and leave at least a week before the purge that way you minimize your risk of getting trapped in the country another option might be to drive across the border to Canada or Mexico but again there is a serious risk of getting stuck in a wall of traffic as those who can't afford to fly attempted mass exodus out of the country I would not consider driving to be a reliable solution unless you drove across the border weeks ahead of time but for those who can't afford to fly or take time off work what's the best option a cheaper option at least in the long term would be to buy a boat and here's why the mainland United States has over a hundred and twenty five thousand lakes which means that on average there is one Lake per 25 square miles on top of that the u.s. also has 12,000 miles of ocean coastline that is a lot of usable water if you were to spend your purge on a boat you would be significantly more difficult to reach than someone who say not on a boat only one in ten people in the US even own a boat which means that only 10% of the population can actually reach you if you live near the ocean and most people do you can drive your boat several kilometres offshore turn off your lights and wait out the 12 hours since most of the purge is at night you'll be in the dark with no sources of light to illuminate you the chances of anyone coming across you are almost zero if you're too far inland to reach the ocean you can use a lake you would want to use a lake as large as possible in order to get as far away from the shore as you can thus reducing the risk of sniper attack luckily over 100 lakes in the US have over 50 square miles of surface area if someone who owns a boat happens to come across you and wants to kill you consider picking up the Ruger precision long-range rifle which is designed to be deadly even at a range of 1,000 yards and uses the Creedmoor six point five millimeter cartridge that some have described as so accurate it's boring when used at long range to be used as a last resort of course the good news is that boats make a lot of noise and that noise travels far on the water so if someone starts to get close you'll hear them coming long before you see them allowing you to line up your shot well in advance of their approach so the procedure on purge night would be to drive to the lake or the ocean a few hours before the purge set off turn off your lights and then hunker down for the 12 hours in the very unlikely event that someone in another boat finds you and approaches you take aim with your Ruger and shoot with accuracy before they're in range to respond and when you leave your house on purge night make sure you don't tell anyone where you're going or what you're doing and every year go to a different spot or place this minimizes the chances of someone you know such as an ex-wife or disgruntled a co-worker from tracking you down the biggest downside to this plan is the upfront cost just like cars boats can range from a few hundred dollars to a few million but you should be able to find a decent 17 foot boat and trailer which will handle most wave conditions in the three to five thousand dollar range the Ruger will set you back another seventeen hundred while this is a lot of upfront cost it shouldn't be outside the realm of affordability for someone in the middle class which is what the solution was geared towards in any case it becomes more cost effective than the previous solution in just three years the other downside is that if there is a large storm occurring during the purge you're going to have a very rough time on the water in that case I would just avoid the ocean entirely and stick to a smaller lake drop anchor and wait it out if vacationing out side the country isn't affordable to you or you can't get time off work a boat might just be the best thing to keep you alive during the purge if you can't afford a boat and are scraping the poverty line then what you need instead is a budget solution to staying alive during the purge that won't break the bank my advice the forest the cheaper option to flying out of the country or buying a boat is to park your car and walk straight into the forest for the night the forest blocks line-of-sight keeping you entirely hidden and it also muffles any sounds drive to your nearest forest walk into the woods and then sit there and wait until the 12 hours are up the chances of anyone finding you are almost zero some things you may want to bring with you are warm clothes and a tarp as the purge happens in March and maybe a GPS device to help you get back to your car in the event you get lost the Magellan explorers 310 is a bargain at a hundred and sixty dollars but you absolutely do not want to bring a tent and a sleeping bag because in the unlikely scenario that someone does find you you want to be able to see them coming and you definitely don't want to be asleep since this is a budget solution pick up the Cobra arms freedom 380 handgun which is the cheapest gun on the market at 127 dollars it probably isn't very durable or as accurate as it's more expensive rivals but its lightweight which makes it easy to carry and it has very little recoil and hopefully you'll never have to use it anyways and since you're trekking into the wilderness bringing a gun in case you run into a bear or a cougar might not be a bad idea not that a handgun is going to stop a bear but hey at least you'll piss it off a little bit before it Flay's you alive DiCaprio style reboot will return after these messages we now return to reboot there are unfortunately some significant downsides to this solution while there may be 1.1 million square miles of forests in the United States most of those miles are distributed along the coastlines which means that the middle States such as Nebraska or the Dakotas have almost no forests at all if you live in these states and get off work at 3:00 or 4:00 p.m. there probably isn't enough time to get to a forest before the purge begins in this scenario you may be able to substitute forests for areas of tall grass rocky outcrops or anywhere else you can't be readily seen while also avoiding populated areas the other problem is that if someone sees your car on the side of the road it essentially tells them that there is someone within walking distance a truly skilled person may be able to track you down simply by using your car as a starting point ever watch man tracker imagine Kari grant tracking you down during the purge and saying pretty much burger Lincoln right before he shoots your face off and feed you to his horse though to be honest if that chiseled jawline is the last thing I saw before I died I would leave this earthly plane with no regrets the chances of someone tracking you down in the wilderness is highly unlikely but if your life is on the line it's something worth considering if this happens you will have your gun as a last resort this is not the best solution on this list but it is one of the cheapest and if you're forced to live through the purge on a budget sitting in the forest may be your best option but if you have absolutely no money whatsoever you're homeless and you live in a highly populated area well good news because I have just the solution for you it's called a dumpster if you have absolutely no other option hiding in plain sight is a very reasonable consideration in fact the main characters of the second film almost hide in a dumpster themselves but that particular dumpster had a dead guy in it so they just got turned off of the whole idea together if they had simply gotten into the next dumpster and hid there for the rest of the night they would have been completely fine the point is unless someone specifically sees you going into a dumpster or hears you inside as they walk by there's no reason for anyone to open it instead of getting inside a dumpster this guy ends up going on a crazy adventure throughout the city and ends up getting killed he in fact would have been a lot better off in the dumpster obviously there are risks here if someone opens the dumpster and wants to kill you you will be at their mercy but the chances of that happening are very slim and it's a lot better than being on the street if I had no money at all I pick dumpster and finally the last solution on this list is how to beat the purge once and for all and the answer is doing your taxes during the purge all crime including murder is legal but murder is probably the least creative way to spend your 12 hours first of all you could actually do your taxes during the purge you can file taxes online which means you can file them at any hour of the day and you may do so between January 1st and April 15th the purge takes place on the evening of March 21st so it falls within this time period secondly your federal income tax return has a section known as schedule a or itemized deductions these reduce your federal income tax if you have medical expenses donations to charity business expenses whether you have student loans and many other factors there are also exemptions for how many children or dependents you have so because it's the purge you can just lie you can lie on everything all crime is now legal including lying on your tax return whatever you put on this form is legal this means that you can maximize all those deductions and exemptions until your federal income tax is zero if you worked in the past year the chunk of your paycheck that was set aside for income tax will be sent back to you if you do this every single year you will never have to pay taxes again but here's the best part remember how the whole purpose of the purge was to save money by killing off all the poor people if everyone files fraudulent tax returns during the purge then no federal income tax will be collected and the federal government won't have any money at all the government would be forced to end the purge its entire purpose is to save the government money and if it starts to lose the government money then the purge will be scrapped that's how you beat the purge you don't murder you don't assassinate or steal all you have to do is file your tax return but if I have missed something or if I made a mistake or if you think you have an even better way to be the purge let us all know about it in the comments don't keep that knowledge to yourself you selfish bastard if the purge ever happens your comment could save a life okay YouTube comments save lives big big thank you to tree shaker Tucker Rachael Lili and Seth Miller who are currently my only patrons and do you want to be as cool as them head over to patreon calm the Merchandise star is now up and running too so if you want to get a shirt with a dumb monster on it go check that in a link below thanks for watching and until next time this has been the film Herald [Music]

Channel: Film Herald

Views: 8,851,423

Rating: 4.8375826 out of 5

Keywords: the purge, how to beat, movie, trailer, review, film, analysis, funny, film herald, survive

Id: Gyj8NsdDkg4

Length: 24min 25sec (1465 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 21 2019