- Hey everybody. Today, we're gonna talk about dissociation because it's much more
common than people think. Research shows us that over
50% of people will have at least one dissociative
episode in their lifetime. So we should all be a
little bit more informed about what it is and what it isn't and all the more reason
to share this video. Oh, and in my last video about this, I talked about why it
happens and what I do if a patient dissociates
with me in session. So if you're looking for
more information about that, I will link the video in the description. Now, the first sign of
dissociation is memory loss. Like have you ever driven
yourself home from work and not remembered how you got there? Guilty. Or gotten some intense
news and you don't remember the rest of your day
after receiving that news? Memory loss is by far the most common symptom of dissociation. And one that if we take
the time to think about it is pretty easy to identify. And it makes sense why it happens, right? Because if you remember
dissociation occurs when what's going on in our life
is just too much to deal with or too much to process in the moment. So our brain pulls the ripcord (squeals) on reality just for a minute or so so that we can get through it and be okay. Dissociation pulls us out of our body or environment or possibly both. If we aren't present in our mind when we're doing things, it's gonna be incredibly difficult to remember what we're
doing or what's going on. We can even come to while doing things and have no idea what it is
we're doing or where we are. And I've heard of this
happening to many of you when you have a big presentation or do something that you're scared of. Since it's too stressful or
overwhelming for our system, our brain just pulls us
away from it for a minute until it's okay for us to
return to our own consciousness. I know that sounds kind of weird but that's just how it works. And this can be the most
uncomfortable treat of dissociation and why most of you have told me that you wish it would
just go away altogether. But remember dissociation is protective. And as we process through
what's causing it, like maybe it's a past trauma or a specifically stressful
situation or what have you and even building up our
own resiliency, right? So that we're able to manage
stressful events as they come as we do all of that, it can
and will go away for good. The second sign is feeling like you're watching yourself do something and you don't have any control
over it or what you're doing. And I know this one
sounds a bit more intense but if we think about it, when we go up on stage to
give a talk or presentation or maybe we played sports as a child, this could happen when we go up to bat or when we step out on the mat. It's scary, it's overwhelming. And we could feel out of our own body for even just a little bit. I know personally when I give talks to large groups of people, back when that was actually common, I would have no
recollection of how it went. The day that my grandfather passed away I had to give a talk at
YouTube Space, New York. I was actually already in New York. My mom had called me in the morning to let me know what happened cause she didn't want me to find out from some other member of my
family or online, you know. So first thing before I
even go to YouTube Space to give the talk, I get that news. And afterward after I gave my talk, I had no idea how it went. Honestly now if I even try to recall, no memory, it's like
it didn't even happen. And I kept asking my friend Dan who had brought me out to
give the talk I'm like, did it go okay? Did I do what you wanted? Like I couldn't even remember. I was just too stressed out, I didn't have any time to process what I just learned before
having to give the talk. I think I had like an hour. It's like my brain just do what it needed to do to get me through it. It's really amazing what our body and brain can do to keep us going and to get through tough situations. And sometimes I think it can be good, you know, even if we
hate the dissociation now it can be good to be
grateful for the times it allowed us to survive and keep going. The third sign is feeling lightheaded. (sighs) I know many of you are already thinking, well, Katie there are a lot of reasons that someone could feel lightheaded and you are correct. However, when this symptom pairs with another one that
we were discussing here, then it's possible that it's associated with your dissociation and not the fact that maybe you stood up
too fast or whatever. When we feel disconnected from ourselves or our environment this
can cause us to feel faint. Many of my patients who
struggle with dissociation had told me over and over how they felt that they were going to
pass out or fall down. And that feeling is what like, whoop! Jerk them back to reality. It can also be what pushes us deeper into our dissociative state because feeling lightheaded
can be a little bit scary and overwhelming and overwhelm
our nervous system yet again. The fourth sign is that
we don't feel any pain. Obviously, if we are disconnected mentally from ourselves or our environment it could make it difficult
if not impossible for us to feel any emotional pain. That's sort of why dissociation
occurs in the first place to give us a break from all
that we feel so that we can, (exhales) calm down, feel okay and return
to our own brain and body. But another side effect is that we often don't feel any physical pain
when we dissociate either. And this has been the reason that many of my patients self-injure. self-injuring helps them
to bring themselves back and make them feel something or at least, you know
that's what I've heard, that's what you guys have told me. Although they report that
they often don't feel the pain like they normally do and that can lead them
to harming themselves more than they had planned. But it makes sense because if we don't like feeling spaced out or disconnected from ourselves, we could do things to help bring us back. Even if those things are
actually harmful themselves. We can feel like there's
nothing else that will work. And if you struggle with this, I would encourage you to try other things like squeezing an ice cube or snapping a rubber band on your wrist. I know it's not quite as effective as a self-injurious behavior
but it's definitely safer. And if you have self injured while dissociating and
come to only to realize that you harmed yourself
more than you had planned, please, please, please go to the hospital and see a doctor immediately. Infections like cellulitis
and others are very serious and need medical attention right away. We don't want our infection
to get into our blood and cause even more harm to our system So please go in and get
the medical attention you need and deserve. Finally, the fifth sign is that we can feel like we don't know who we are. When we are disconnected from ourselves often and for long periods of time, we can start to lose touch
with who we think we are or at least become confused about it. This can be exacerbated
by people telling us about a situation or memory that they have that we don't due to our dissociation. And this can be confusing
and cause us to wonder who we are, what we like or don't like and if we even remember enough about ourselves and our
life to figure it out. This is by far the worst
part of dissociation and I believe it can lead
to symptoms of depression if it's not addressed. That's why it's vitally important that if any of the symptoms
sound familiar to you, that you let your therapist know or reach out to a therapist in your area. I know COVID has changed things but therapy was offered online a long time before this pandemic and
it's still available now. There are sites like Talkspace or BetterHelp and many others. So reach out, speak up
and start figuring out if you struggle with dissociation. And if so, what's causing it? Because it's just a coping skill to get us through a distressing time. And the sooner we figure
out why it's happening, the sooner we can work to heal that wound and stop it from happening again. Just like anything the longer we ignore it,
the worse it will get but with the right support
and professional help it can and will get better. And if you found this video helpful, please please share it. Since over 50% of people have had a dissociative episode in their lifetime, you never know who this could help. Thank you so much for watching
and I will see you next time. Bye. (upbeat music)
