5 Mistakes People Make When Coming Out Atheist

[Music] hey Thomas Westbrook here as we speak there are 13 countries around the world where if you leave your faith if you become an apostate the punishment for atheism is death and that's not even counting all of the less severe punishments for apostasy or the countries including Western ones that have punishments for blasphemy such a victimless crime and this type of craziness isn't just happening in far out places around the world I get emails from people who tell me that their spouse left them when they became an atheist and now they're inviting in custody battle for the kids I get emails from kids saying that their parents have disowned them or are shunning them I have emails from people who tell me that their boss fired them as Matt had conversations with people all over the US who faced tremendous blowback coming out as an atheist isn't easy so why do it at all by coming out and speaking up we're able to help normalize atheism and change people's perceptions of us and fight the negative stereotypes that are painted by religious fundamentalists against atheists and yet a lot of times people ask me how do we come out as an atheist I'm worried about the blowback that I'll face so yesterday I went on a podcast called common heavens with mr. Oz the 80s and godless mom to talk about just that so make sure that you go and you check that out right after you watch this video right now I'm covering the top five mistakes that people make when coming out everything [Music] number one dropping the bomb cold turkey people can tend to be a little hesitant to new ideas and they can be resistant to change rather than throwing cold water in their face by just straight-up coming out and saying that you're an atheist do ten steps take your time warm them up to it in psychology there's a term called priming in which let's say for example you want to go and have a steak dinner tonight but your significant other is wanting seafood you might throughout the day say oh hey like we haven't even at that steak feed place in the wild state food you point to that you know she kind of okay like she's not really warming up to it yet but then later in the day you're like Dan really craving a good juicy steak and if you do this a couple times throughout the day and then you know when she asks you what you want for dinner when you say steak it's not as abrupt of a shock if it be just straight up say I want steak and she's like yeah no put the brakes on I'm really want steak flirt with the idea take something like atheism and break it down a normal to gradually and then you know see how they react number two going straight from religious Fundamentalist to atheist overnight this kind of goes hand in hand with number one but it's more about going in steps so rather than warming someone up to an idea of your disbelief and where you are maybe you've been an atheist for a long time you're not really religious you're not involved in the church the second step more applies to people who are pastors or they're actively involved in a church band or they're a missionary easier way away from it easier way out of it if you go from Diaz to agnostic atheist there's going to be a lot less blowback in a lot less shot than if you go from religious fundamentalist to Abyan take the time that you need to slowly distance yourself from the faith and then people won't be as adverse to you finally making that decision from maybe there's a God - I don't think that there is number three arguing and insulting remember if you're watching this probably not too long ago you were religious - religious people aren't stupid just because they've been raised and ingrained with some religious concepts and maybe they have an emotional connection to it doesn't mean that they're idiots treat them with respect and you'll get a lot more respect in return make it less about butting heads over a disagreement in an argument and more about a quest for truth that you're on a journey together it's about teamwork because if something is true it withstand scrutiny so just let that be known that you know you're trying to go wherever the truth leaves and then they'll be less hostile about it there'll be more on board with the idea that maybe your quest led you to a bit of a different destination than theirs did but if you come out of the cave swinging you're just gonna get a backfire effect no matter how many facts you present no matter how good you are at arguing they're still gonna feel like it's me versus you there's gonna be an equal opposite reaction they may even wind up more solidified in their beliefs afterwards don't make it a winner and lose environment because you're probably not going to change their mind and they may just come away even more hostile than before number four coming out alone when you come out as an atheist you can face a lot of blowback but you don't have to do this alone build up some type of a safety net it doesn't even necessarily have to be other atheists in fact I had Catholic friends who are incredibly supportive and loving I had friends who were gay who were also religious who knew what it was like to come out of the closet and face shunning and rejection and they were extremely open and supportive and loving towards me but there are atheist communities that you can join whether it's on reddit or Facebook or Twitter or anywhere on the internet or in person find a support group you don't even have to use your real identity but it really really helps emotionally psychologically if you don't have to face this alone and you don't have to face it alone number five cutting off your parachute if you're still financially dependent on your parents or spouse or if you're living in a country where it's physically dangerous for you to come out as an atheist hold off wait you can tell you're somewhere where you're financially stable or secure or you have someone that you can go and live with and stay with who's not going to throw you under the bus maybe move to a country if you can where your life isn't in danger because coming out as an atheist is already a massive upheaval of your worldview it can take time to deal with your new take on the world don't also throw into it the burden of having to figure out your financial situation because you've been completely cut off by family members take your time ease into it and when you're ready and you're financially secure that may be the right time for you to come out as an atheist ultimately though this comes down to you these are just general tips and they don't necessarily apply to everyone in every single scenario obviously you know your situation better than anyone hopefully these tips will help you to avoid some of the negative blowback that a lot of people face just by being a little less hostile taking your time warming people up creating a supportive social circle coming out in steps and having some financial security there so you aren't thrown out in the cold I really hope this has been helpful for you this has been five mistakes that people make when coming out of the APS closet if you want a more in-depth discussion of how to come out as an atheist check out the video of me on the common heathens podcast with godless mom and mr. Oz atheists I'll have the links to that in the description subscribe to their channel and let them know that I sent you and whatever you do don't drink the kool-aid if you believe in my cause and you want to help support my work promoting science curiosity and three-dot please consider becoming a patron at patreon.com slash holy kool-aid even just a dollar helps me to continue making these videos if you're one of my supporters on patreon thank you you guys are amazing I can't make these videos without your support and your help and it means so much to me if you're new to this channel hit the subscribe button I really hope you like the rest of my content feel free to like and share you guys Rock so much and together we're making a difference you [Music]

Channel: Holy Koolaid

Views: 127,488

Keywords: 5 mistakes people make when coming out atheist, Mistakes People Make When Coming Out Atheist, holy koolaid, mr oz atheist, leaving the atheist closet, coming out atheist, how not to become an atheist, leaving the faith, apostasy, deconverting, atheist, how to leave your religion, how to become an atheist, blasphemy laws, how to come out atheist, how to come out as an atheist, guide to becoming an atheist, becoming an atheist, common heathens, godless mom, don't drink the koolaid

Id: ZPPDb9IIkHU

Length: 6min 57sec (417 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 23 2017