4 Lessons From My Journey | Dineo Ndlanzi | TEDxCapeTownWomen

audiojungle well I am known as a Coco Coco is a Tim used to describe an elder and the wise one in my culture I'm no way of an age of an elder despite the strength of gray hair which have had since the age of seven they were covered in blond right now I'm known as Coco because that is one of the titles South Africans used to refer to a sangoma as sangoma is an intermediary between the living and they are ancestors it is one who has been called by them to facilitate spiritual healing for wellness and health I guess being entrusted with such a task carries a level of eldership and wisdom hence the name gogo I'm also a heel your life teacher a systems relationship coach and I founded the Institute of African spiritual healing where I train other sangomas and I do teachings on African spirituality and healing in the 21st century I was born and bred in the dusty roads of Alexandra Township a stone throw away from one of the richest South African suburbs sent in I grew up towards the end of apartheid I lived through some of the most volatile times in our country and yet some what I survived because books were my refuge and I was determined not to fall through the cracks of a life of poverty with all that was surrounding me I knew that I was meant for something better you see as a young black woman in those times I was taught to get a good education to be well mannered and to work hard well that had its own complexities you see like most of the clients that I see my practice I thought by taking the right kinds of boxes life would work out smoothly majority of them are middle-class professionals who seem to have it all well put together on the outside they appear to be stable but they experience what I call disease something that is not at ease with himself they struggling to find inner contentment and peace they're struggling to maintain healthy relationships they have unexplainable medical conditions and struggling to find financial stability they know that they are stuck but they can't put their finger on it they've tried every possible way to resolve their problems well for most of them gogo is their last resort it's like going back home to the wise elder to seek counsel well I'm here to offer some counsel I'm here to offer some lessons from what I've learned from my experiences as a spiritual healer and teacher there's many lessons that I have learned and that I still keep on learning I'd love to share four of those with you today one of my first few lessons that I learned was while I was doing my training to become a sangoma I grew up his Christian where being a sangoma or being cold was seen as taboo so I went into my song gamma training with little faith skepticism and feeling bad and had this calling so in 2010 while I was doing my training I lost my job and that taught me an interesting lesson that when things fall apart they actually falling into place my job was my only source of income and my sense of pride you see I grew up as a hustler while some other Township entrepreneur I was a young independent woman I didn't know how to ask for help I didn't know how to be dependent on other people so when I lost my job I felt paralyzed because there I was doing this training that was very expensive without money how was I going to complete my process I said yes to the calling so why are things falling apart but the gift that it gave me was that it gave me time to immense myself in my training and appreciate my gift it helped me build my competencies and skills as a practitioner it also taught me to be appreciate and live within my means and be okay with what I had and stopped chasing the next achievement it also taught me to be present to the moment to surrender and Trust the process that things will be taken care of trusting the process for me gave me a faith in the practice that I never believed in I never believed in the work that sangomas did know that it did exist but luck led me to the awareness that just because you don't believe in it it doesn't mean it doesn't exist so maybe when things are falling apart actually something new might be about to match my second lesson the power of non judgement there's a beautiful African proverb that says when you judge others you are defining yourself we tend to easily point at those who are doing wrong those who are choosing a different path to ours and yes sometimes that is justified yet our judgments could be revealing aspects of ourselves that we are failing to own they can be reflecting a wound but you don't know how to own for yourself or an aspiration that you are failing - owner see life is a way of humbling you and reminding you that you're not immune to its challenges that that very same thing that you are judging in another could be the very same thing you need as an age in your life or in your work for me to be non-judgmental it has taught me to appreciate tension it has taught me to appreciate the potential in tension it has taught me to harness and focus on how other healing modalities including mainstream healthcare can advance and enhance my work as an African spiritual healer we all have judged some point in our lives to make us all feel better to think that we are better people and we stand on a higher moral ground yet judging can actually be a mirror of what your spirit is yearning for and you are afraid to boldly own it for yourself so when somebody is saying something that's creating an agitation within you that could be an invitation to look deeply within and ask what is it being reflected back at me by those actions that are creating discomfort my dad lesson honoring yourself by saying no to things that no longer serve you we tend to make it about popularity rather than being purposeful we busy copying the perfect picture for public consumption in a number of legs so we missed the mark we missed the mark of why are we here why are you doing the work that you're doing why I in relationship that you in because we've made it about goals now fitness goals couple goals relationship goals career goals endless goals rather than being peppers phille in our own exes we have lost the essence of who we are we are unable to listen to our higher self our God self we've lost our path because we are trying to be liked by everybody else but not ourselves you see in my work I come across women a lot of women who are struggling in their marriages and they're trying desperately to fix that which is broken because you see of the stereotypes and the conditioning that we've had as women that our work revolves around keeping it together those stereotypes are fueled by many things because irregardless of how strainers or tough a marriage is we have been taught that it is our job to make sure that marriage works out those stereotypes can be fueled by shame that we have failed in our marriage it could be for the sake of the children yet by doing so we are raising a generation that glorifies in authenticity so it can belong so honoring yourself is doing you it's saying yes to the things that are going to bring you to a place of contentment and joy honoring yourself is being truthful about your choices and intentions honoring yourself is about taking responsibility for your part in it that which has failed one way one can honor themselves is to find a weekly or a daily ritual you see ritual can replenish and empower you towards your path of life it can offer you strength to support your emotional and spiritual needs in African spirituality we believe that when one dies the body does but the spirit becomes a nun sister and it becomes one with divine sauce we believe by connecting to our ancestors we become part of creation we become like trees that are deeply rooted and grounded with an ability to thrive one of the things that underlies the treatments at the Institute it's a ritual act called GU passion 1/8 of communicating communing and connecting with your ancestors by so doing and not knowledge in them we acknowledge and honor our oneness with divinity another ritual can be music music that awakens life within you it could be dancing because dance it's an expression it's a way of articulating that which sits deep within you that words cannot articulate it could be a way of finding yourself towards your path of healing and divine Pepper's Moldova Petra saw me a West African spiritual healer and teacher says a ritual is called for because our soul communicates things to us that the body translates into a need or a want or absence so we enter into ritual as to respond to the call of the soul so what is your soul calling you to what at this moment which brings me to my fourth lesson we are all wounded and healing is a journey but it is also hard work so sometimes we fail to listen to the call of our soul because we are so deeply wounded and yet some of the wounds that we carry there not only our own their family and ancestral pathologies that the minute you and peel a layer of a wound another one gets rebuilt and so it goes on and it goes on you see when people come to you as their last resort when people see you as the powerful one it's a huge responsibility because when they think you can just take out your magic wand and wave miracles and take a lifetime of problems away that can be overwhelming I'm learning that as healers as activists as change agents as leaders we are just facilitators we are just in ablest channels and catalysts we're not entirely responsible to change and fix those who are seeking help from us no matter how bold and innovative and courageous we can be in our work no matter how much of ourselves we can invest in fixing them if people's level of willingness and readiness doesn't match their level of aspirations healing or change it is not going to happen because things don't happen to us we are co-creators of our own experiences if we take responsibility our ability to respond becomes more effective and much stronger than when we're just waiting for things to happen we are not held at hostage by our past mistakes our past circumstances our current situations life doesn't happen to us it happens with us I know that sometimes when you experience unexplainable challenges and difficulties it can get overwhelming like with me when I found out I had the calling you see I've come to understand that I am NOT held at hostage and I was not even held at hostage by my ancestors to hit the call that I chose to be a healer before I was even born in this body when i wakened to that realization and that understanding I understood but me and my ancestors needed each other to co-create and life and a path that led me towards my life people I shifted my perception I realized that whatever that it was happening to me was because I needed to show up in the world as a whole me I boldly and courageously owned being a Goku I stopped apologizing for my involuntary beb's hey I saw those as my spirit guide saying hi over there I see you and your people I started to really want to understand and deeply so why and how come am i experiencing the things that I'm experiencing I understood those as tools and gifts so do you never can show up as fully dinero I understood that I can step in forward into the world as a whole me that as I bow and I greet a fellow human and say to Rosa an African greeting similar to namaste I was disengaging my ego and I was gonna enter into a conversation with you with higher awareness and curiosity I understood that I am here to evolve into a better version of myself and that journey it's never ending I also came to understand that dinero well coco de novo as you know better you will do better you are doing the best you can with what you know right now and as I continue on the journey of healing others I have come to learn that I am the first to heal so us [Applause]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 38,589

Rating: 4.9448276 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Life, Africa, Consciousness, Health, Self improvement, Spirituality

Id: 4OTEYw8Nq3w

Length: 18min 29sec (1109 seconds)

Published: Fri May 08 2020