4 Incredibly Powerful Questions To Ask Yourself Every Day

whatever pain or frustration or upset or suffering you may have it's like it's all internally created we we want to say it's the outside world you triggered me that's new famous you've made this not a safe space you'll never be able to control the external world to be exactly how you want it to be you'll never be safe doing that you have to create the safety inside yourself because you want the answers hey everybody it's Tony Robbins welcome to Tony Robins podcast this is a really special and fun episode this episode we're going to take you to one of our Inner Circle audiences and you're going to see a a clip with sage and myself basically exploring all the ideas of how you can question use the power of inquiry the power of questions to get rid of limiting beliefs and rather than just talk about it what we decided to do is you know bring somebody up on screen and work with them there so we bring up this young man named Rasmus I think he's from Denmark if I remember correctly and we help him kind of question his liming beliefs and you see his transformation in real time so I think you really enjoy it so thanks for sticking around let's just get right to it let's start with a power of question so I think what i' like to do now is to finish up uh we're going to take one maybe two questions some some people that are out there but I thought instead of hearing from me you should hear favorite person my favorite person on Earth will you welcome my dear Sage Robbins everybody give it up for ladies and gentlemen hi Inner Circle [Applause] family yes hello everyone thank you honey so we're at home here so special to be with you in our home thank you for inviting us your home and you in ours um so let's take a question I thought it'd be great you know Sage is uh well she's my wife but that's you could say I'm partial she one of the smartest most spiritual most beautiful humans I know on Earth and I have the privilege of meeting Millions I always tell people that uh you know I think the gift that God has given me for helping millions of people is I got this woman as my wife and love and partner um so I thought it'd be nice to let her answer some of your questions and you be on a little bit more on the outside with thank you honey and something I'd love to add to that um is just one of the beautiful gifts in this space between uh our love our relationship is we both uh have an utter commitment to take responsibility for our suffering and asking questions inquiry is a path through that bound stuck energy of an internal nightmare we all know what it feels like to be stuck with an a trivial belief or a story of mind and they're running all the time they're running and as they run and as we attach to them and believe them it disconnects Us From This Moment it disconnects us from our beloveds it disconnects us from the beauty of life and so for myself I have such uh we both you know inquiry manifests and and um lives in both of us and expresses differently and yet complimentary uh for the simple fact that we're both so hungry uh for freedom for inner freedom and as we inquire as we dig deeper as we ask the questions Tony was said so beautifully earlier about you know having mind and heart connected in that coherence and and uh through questions if we have a willingness just a willingness that's all it takes a willingness to claim responsibility for our experience of Life a willingness to claim a responsibility for our internal suffering a lot of times so innocently mind is looking externally you know well if he changes if she does this when she does that then I'll be happy and yet I don't know about you but I haven't found a human being on the planet that I've been able to change yet through our love through our love but not through the expectation or the demand that I need you to behave differently in order for me to feel more comfortable or at ease or to get over this resistance that's crazy that's crazy inside of me if I believe that and I have so I can say this because it's human this is actually where we all meet in this human Journey it transcends every religion every race we all meet in this internal experience of mind that can be beautiful and expanded and freeing or it can be bound and restricting and so I'm passionate about this as much as this big beautiful man is and what's so beautiful in real time you're going to experience some different questions questions that I ask questions that Tony asks and then as well uh questions of a very dear beloved friend of ours uh this path called the work and you can just simply try them you know and all it takes is your own you wouldn't be here that's the truth if you didn't have willingness so Sage mentioned you know we have a dear friend named Byron Katie yes and if you haven't picked up some of her books one of the first books was called the work and what we have in common is we believe that the only way things change is by inquiry in other words things stay the same unless you question them that's all inquiry is right but Byron ktie is just a beautiful beautiful soul we really we we probably do a podcast with her but you could pick up a book loving what is or the work there are lots of great books but the reason we bring it up is if you're you know feeling like a little overwhelmed by all the questions we're asking here she has a simple process she calls it four questions in a turnaround and I thought I'd just put it in front of you just right now just at its B and then we'll take a question maybe two at of time here I'm just looking at the time make sure we're supporting you on that too but we want to go thorough and it'll give you a structure that you could consider so let me walk you through it for two seconds and then I'll let Sage walk somebody through it and maybe honey you'll share your version because we all have our own versions absolutely but if you're looking for something that's like the same every time you could go to when you're dealing with a challenge byon Katie uh went through this experience where she literally felt she lost her mind literally she was having a mental breakdown and then she began to realize I'm only having these feelings because I'm believing these ridiculous thoughts we all have thoughts who here has ever thought I'm GNA kill that son of a gun who's ever had this thought in your mind anybody out there Make Some Noise you you had but that created a lot of smiles but you didn't really kill him right because you didn't believe that thought it's when you believe a thought that it takes control of you so in order to get beyond that and come up with a new thought she came up what she calls four questions and a turnaround so I'll give it to you real quick you can review this later on if you want you can pick up her book and it's just one more tool for you let me do it for you first I'll just walk you through it we'll throw it on the screen for you so you can see it so the first question and by the way I teach this in some of my business clients so the first step if you're going to make a change besides getting enough reasons to do it having a big enough why enough Leverage is you have to break the pattern so you got to interrupt the pattern so if somebody says Susie's a soand so she and it's a derogatory term or John's a jerk whatever the term is her first respond is response or can't do this or it's impossible to grow my business or I don't have the capital or whatever limiting belief you have for first question she asks is is it true I go a little bit beyond that because sometimes you say is it true people yes it is true it's just a reflex so if we'll put it back on the screen the first question you you write down a limiting belief a limiting emotion and you say okay is it true could this be a misinterpretation or misperception about suie or about myself about my business about my resources about the econom whatever it is do we have all the possible information necessary to know exactly what this means so do you really know what's going on with Susie do you know if she's having an illness is there somebody in her family that's being hurt can we really know everything to know that Susie's a b you know or Johnny's a a whatever word you want to fill into those components right and if you keep asking this question most of the time if you're honest you go well no we don't have all the information know exactly what's true it's possible to misation the moment you see it's possible that a belief is no longer true that starts to break the pattern how many follow at least what the intention of that question is you do make some noise so I got you out there okay awesome now that we start to break the pattern throw it up on the screen for everybody so they see it they can take a picture of it to if they want to is now we got to get what I call leverage you know just make a note if you would change is never a matter of ability change is never a matter of ability it's always a matter of motivation meaning if you said I can't stop smoking and somebody came up from the mafia and said I got a gun I'm going to kill all of your children you ever touch another cigarette and we're going to monitor you 247 yeah it sounds horrific but I bet you could stop smoking right there's no question about it it's never can you it's will you and the only reason you will is you got strong enough reasons so that's the general principle that I live so she has a second question and it's designed in my view to get leverage and what she asks is what do you feel when you say Susie's a bee or John is an A or whatever word you want to fill in there what do you feel when you say I can't grow my business or the economy is out of control what do you feel when you say I can never lose weight what do you feel throw it back on the screen so everybody gets it what do you feel what do you experience you know what do you feel like what when you believe that thought what does it do to you and a person may say I feel pissed off or I feel frustrated or I feel overwhelmed or I feel I I don't have I I don't have space in myself to even feel alive and what that does is it makes people find what they don't want it gives them a reason to change third question third question you're going to be asking throughout there is you want to annihilate the old belief and the simple way in which she does this is she asked this question she says if that thought never existed if you never thought Susie was a b Johnny was an a that you could never turn your business around you could never if you've never had that that you never thought you weren't sexy how would you feel if you never had that thought how would you behave differently if you never even had the thought what would your life experience be like what would you be like if you didn't have that thought constantly in your mind or in the way or in the way of your progress or your business and so what this does now is we've gone beyond leverage now we're starting to make a change and the person will say well i' I'd feel happy if I didn't think Susie was mean to me or Johnny was a jerk or whatever I'd feel like if I didn't think it was impossible to grow my business I'd probably look for another way or to raise money so it put you in a state beyond the limiting belief and then the turnarounds are simply what we're doing with these first three questions is we're taking those legs those references that say I'm not attractive enough Susie's horrible I can't grow my business my my children won't listen to me you know I'm not beautiful enough whatever and we're taking the legs out and now that they're out though we want to make sure they stay out so she does a turnaround and her turnaround is say the opposite or the anti what's the opposite of it's impossible to grow my business well it's totally possible to grow business what's the opposite of you know Susie is a terrible person and that's the second part you do the opposite so it can't be done it can be done that's a simple turnaround it must be done I will do it uh the negative belief you know Susie's a right well no what's the let's replace Susie with either they he she or maybe I like when I'm judging Suzie how do I treat her I'm a I'm a bastard I'm a jerk oh my God that starts to really changed the game and then she asked you to come up with what are three ways that you know that you have been terrible to Suzy or what are three ways you know you could grow your business or what are three ways and so it makes you three ways you know you're you're truly attractive well I love people I love to please people I whatever and you come up with three reasons and now you built a new belief a new tabletop now I've done that in hypers speed but how many get a feel for that if it makes some sense to you make some noise and I know you're getting it there the [Applause] and so you can do this whenever you have a limiting belief and it's a a really beautiful format and it really works now again I'm not going to try and take you all through it and Sage won't do it formally because one of the great things I love about my wife also is she has so many great questions so maybe before we take a question sh the other day we were talking about all the questions that you ask yes wait I mention one thing if you've been to date with Destiny you learn there's one question you ask more than ever any other question the reason is your brain links the most pain and most pleasure to so some people are always asking what's wrong with me you know some people are asking why can't I do something um mine was you know how do I make it better constantly making it better well that's helped my life a lot except when I was talking to people didn't want to make it better they felt offended right so I had to see the upside and downside of my questions yeah um Sage's question has been one of the most beautiful things for her has always been where's the good in this and no matter what it is once she can find the good in it the pain disappears yeah so that's been her base but why don't you share some of the questions I know you did you wri them down the other day we talk of course uh well honestly coming into this uh I recognized that you know there's certain questions that I find helpful I'll uh one is okay say if I'm feeling resistance or if I'm feeling stuck I'm feeling that bound feeling uh and so this is in my inner dialogue I'd be like okay H what are what are we missing what might I be missing right now and usually what I'm missing is the others perception the others experience and once again that question if you're if you're asking that question without receptivity but if there's a willingness it's like okay what am I missing right now it's like I I'll give you an example say if I uh if I walked in and Tony was really focused on something and you focused on so his face is you know he's he's maybe less emotive emotive and I I mean like a really loving happy gesture and I walk in and as a younger version of myself I I misinterpreted I would see him in a certain State and I would think gosh he's upset with me he's he's he's mad at me and so at times as life went on and if I was believing that thought then when I would see him the next time that thought is like an overlay it's an overlay on reality I'm not seeing beautiful man who's walking into the kitchen and hey hun hey bab let's have dinner I'm not experiencing that because one hour earlier if I'm believing the thought that he's upset with me and so now I I really just in real time is it true is definitely an ongoing but and and another one a complimentary one is okay what are you missing gosh what am I missing you know what I remember earlier today Tony mentioned that his shoulder was really bothering him what else am I missing you know he's prepping for this event he's got 10,000 people uh you know for an event and a half hour he's probably maybe a little stressed for time nothing to do with me and so that question for myself it helps me to walk in the other shoes walk in our beloved shoes and to see beyond the story or to see beyond the belief um another one an internal one this is just for my own body I'll ask myself many times a day I'll say okay how can I bless my body how can I bless my body right now sometimes I might have a drink of water uh sometimes I might pop outside and I'll ask myself how can I bless my body right now or how can I bless my being and my being is different than my body my being a lot of times wants to slow down uh you know wants to uh I might close my eyes I call it like 60 seconds of Grace I'll just call close my eyes and invite my awareness my attention inward that's nurturing for me I might eat something you know if I was asking how to bless my body it sounds crazy but sometimes when we get going and we're we're out here questions in invite our awareness our attention back to ourselves you know Tony said something so brilliant earlier that um you know that it it's it's rather as a leader that you know we want to empower the other for the answers to come within them same with ourselves as we ask a question with willingness it invites our awareness and our attention it's like we tune in it's like tuning a radio and then we're able to serve the circumstance and so uh gosh a few more uh okay okay another one if I'm feeling uh maybe a resistance or something inside myself and if I'll see if Tony's maybe feeling stressed and I'll say okay how can I convey my heart right now how can I envey my my a deeper truth and so that might be verbally that might be in a touch but I find myself asking like how can I convey my heart in this moment because head is always efficient mind mind sees things in absolutes and it fixes reality it distorts reality and so these questions are tuning us to tune back into ourselves uh gosh I'm trying to think of my other questions that I asked uh in my expressing love or fear I know one right yes another one yes is uh so and I'll if I'll say okay am I expressing love or fear now that one's obvious obvious but not in a moment before you ask it yeah and so if I ask myself am I feeling it's not even expressing I'll ask myself my feeling fear fear feels like tension fear feels like resistance and so if I'm feeling resistance if I'm feeling a tightness that's a hello something's going on I I have a belief an untruth that I can you know question so that I can come back home we all know what it feels like to be out in the world and you walk in your home and there's that feeling of inquiry invites home home inside of our heart home in back to our Essence that from that place we have perception and perception is including you know perception perceives it allows it understands it wants to understand versus an opinion which is a fixed reality a judgment is a fixed reality and those are usually overlaying somebody our beloveds externally and so it is uh it's freeing it's freeing to know that oh my gosh I can shift the Nightmare and by the way life is offering all of us challenges health challenges life challenges losing jobs this that the other covid all of the things that life is offering us how we respond to that how we react to that that's each of our responsibility that's our business and so we can do it blindly feels a little clunky that can be painful to go through life asleep and asleep feels like all these lenses all these stickies over reality of hey beautiful man and he's prepping he's doing the best he can in the moment I'll even sometimes say honey do you know what I came in 10 minutes earlier and I saw you and I thought you were stressed in he'll be like honey what are you talking but I wasn't I'm like I know that I'm sorry it also allows us to to tidy it up to tidy up the space between ourselves and our beloveds because when we're believing a thought you'll come to see through this process we don't even recognize what we know what it feels like internally we don't always see what it conveys externally to people can be less Pleasant and so in our own relationship it's so beautiful because it's two human beings taking responsibility and if there's a confusion if there's a distortion it's hone need you know I'm so sorry I I've just I've been stuck in my mind right now this is what it looks like I've been stuck in my head right now and I was believing this I know it's not true I thank you for just hearing me right now and then I might share or he might share and thank you for being with me in this moment thank you for holding space it invokes compassion because it's hard to it's not hard as we're to to to connect to heart with our beloveds when we're believing that he doesn't love me he's not paying attention to me he's upset with me why isn't he romantic why does he talk so loud sound familiar we could flip it by the way I'm not saying you I'm just saying I'm making it up right now I truthfully I've probably thought it all at some point in time but it's human it's not personal it's it's human because mind is is always offering up these beliefs uh different than what our heart and our Consciousness perceives which is greater than the limitation of mind we have uh I me list of the questions we talking about let's throw them up on the screen for people if you want quick picture here are some of the questions that's very helpful thank you there you go so you know what's missing in this situation am I defending anything in this moment that's a big one what's the gift what's the lesson what's the blessing here yes what's the experience you know what's this offering me yes what am I resisting and why do I feel where do I feel tension in my body so I can let it go am I expressing love or what this is one you do a lot honey what quality of spirit can I invite to this moment more kindness more love more curiosity more gentleness more patience more connectedness playfulness is another one playfulness huge one uh because that's a game changer being in a circumstance and it's just you know we uh life in in our busyness can feel um efficiency doesn't always convey efficiency does not convey our deepest heart and so for myself it's like gosh you know it's playfulness or I want to get curious about what's going on or sometimes it's patience patience to be hey hello you know my Tony's involved in something here I'll pop back in a half hour if I'm wanting to connect in a moment or say honey do you know what I just wanted hug I know you're really crazy busy I I'll come back after you're done with this that it creates a a language of love because through through the through our heart we're able to express our our deepest needs and our wants but it it doesn't sound like you don't do this why why do you never say this it's which is blame or defending what are you talking about I love you what are you talking about I that defense so defense has a quality that's really obvious and I'll ask myself if I'm having a misunder understanding or a or a feeling that disconnect with somebody in my life I'll be like okay what the freak am I defending right now because there's always something something ego mind is so seductive and it moves so quickly and so these questions cause us to pause it invites our attention Inward and then what's so extraordinary own being our own Consciousness so perfectly shows us the answer from my own experience especially when we write it down it really assists me to answer the questions and to write out the answers I I want to emphasize that if you just ask it verbally you may not stay with it yes but we both are journalers we both take it and write it down Force ourself to because when you see it on paper in front of you it loses its power it's no longer stuck in your head and you don't have that circular thinking where you ask one question then your brain asks another one that type of thing so it really encourage you to write it down it makes a big big difference and and one ask the last one is um what is the good the gift the blessing in this that is always you know once again it's always hindsight that that mind is revisiting our suffering is not here now our suffering is in the story and it's about the past or a projected future and so what's the gift in this because if we're experiencing pain or suffering about something that happened in the past it's been my own experience that there's always such a beautiful gift some of the most painful clunky awkward brutal circumstances in our lives have the deepest gifts have the deepest levels of growth the most beautiful magnificent uh opportun unities to learn and yet we could miss that if we don't contemplate and pause and reflect and that's the beautiful unbelievable power of inquiry is it causes that doesn't cause us it invites us to reflect to contemplate to notice to connect to and from that perspective it's so stunning it's so stunning to revisit sorry honey no no say but it only works the reason it works so well for her and for me yes is because you're taking responsible of your own feelings your own beliefs in other words whatever pain or frustration or upset or suffering you may have it's like it's all internally created we we want to say it's the outside world you triggered me that's new famous you made this not a safe space you'll never be able to control the external world to be exactly how you want it to be you'll never be safe doing that you have to create the safety inside yourself because you want the answers my wife is so beautiful and wanting to see what she's not seeing within herself I to do the same thing and that's why we go in with the purest intent to get to a deeper truth because we know that'll give us freedom and that fre allow us to love more share more create more and be closer to each other and to everybody else that we love in our lives and Tony's so beautiful saying I'm beautiful I don't even know that it's beautiful I'm selfish I'm completely selfish it serves me I I I want to feel Unbound I want to feel free inside myself and then life boom will offer something else hey wow feeling that resistance and so it's such an unbelievable powerful Tool uh to notice to appreciate and to just uproot what's clunky and what's no longer serving and to uh transcend and to transform that through the power of inquiry so believe we have a a gentleman how many of you by the way are now getting on the service questions are the answer who cares how many getting the power of questions in your life how can change everything with the new set of questions right than it's such a simple tool it's the most powerful so um we're already at two hours but if you'll stay with us we want to do one or two questions but let's take one at least beautiful and then Sage why don't you take them through the four questions Orion thereof um so we have Rasmus Jacobson is going to join us here from Denmark let's give it up for Rasmus how are you thank you so much for letting me be here I'm so good I'm so my heart is pumping but trying to turn it into love and to openness give him a hand let him feel you out there and Rasmus our heart pumping is love that's right Rasmus I understand you've only been part of us for about three weeks I know you've not I understand you've not been to Unleash the Power Within so you don't have these deep experiences yet and you're going to get them you're just beginning this journey with us but uh why don't you share with sage what has been your limiting belief or challenge I understand that you a musician and you're having difficulty putting it out there tell us a little bit about what you're dealing with what the limiting belief is and let's see let's have her take you through the process it's not only in the music aspect of my life it's every part of my life I feel like I put a a clock on myself and uh I'm not I don't express myself the way I want to I don't say the things I believe I don't tell people about the things that I uh do in my life the things that I'm working on my body my mental state I think uh um yeah somewhere deep I'm I'm I'm scared of failing or saying something and then getting proven wrong or them telling me um something is wrong with what I'm doing yes yes so one one quick thing I want to mention then have Sage take you through it for everyone we all the brain not your heart not your mind not your soul not your soul and your heart spirit I should say but the mind or the brain tends to do three things you should all jot we all distort our brains delete and we generalize yes and what that does is it disconnects us some reality and when you're no longer part of reality it's hard to change your life so a distortion is um when you take something and make it worse than it is or you make it you know uh if you delete something in other words in order to be really angry you have to delete all the things you could be happy about there's so much if you just stopped and look around I have my health I have friends I have whatever so we delete things we delete our our relationship well you always do that that's the third thing we do we generalize absolutely so we distort we delete and we generalize and I say we the brain does the Mind does the heart soul and spirit does not it's it's a much broader perspective and almost always you're in your head when you're not making progress and it's because you're distorting deleting and generalizing so for example you just generalized and distorted and deleted about your whole life is like this and you don't express it anywhere in that's just not true but I'm not going to tell you that will'll take you through a process so you get that but when you believe it it's true because that's whatever you believe you focus on it you find it you reinforce it you find more examples more legs of that you don't express yourself or you don't follow through or you don't say what's in your heart and then pretty soon that belief gets in the way you can't see life anymore you're seeing it through this filter that isn't real yes so this process of these three questions or four questions turn around is a way of unearthing that and then replace ing the old limiting belief with something new so just everyone remember you distort delete and generalize and the way you get free is you stop distorting you stop deleting and stop generalizing you open the filter and see and experience more of life okay and and Rasmus is it true uh I believe when I read your Facebook post that uh maybe this might not be a the accurate statement or exact statement but that you had a a deep need to be liked by everybody is that was that your own language I think that I feel deep inside myself that I have to get accepted by people but deep down it's the self-acceptance that I la it's not and I try to seek it from other people and every time I get a proof of something I feel a spark inside of me and my self-acceptance like falsely getting better but it's not getting better yes it's like Tina it's exact same pattern the Tina had just different language different story right same thing related it to so for a moment when someone else does it you might feel the sensation but it doesn't last because then your mind comes in and cancels it with some Distortion deletion or generalization about yourself okay one of the gifts of inquiry process uh Rasmus for my own self is we're able to perceive reality rather than wanting reality to be a certain way it's my own experience that some people like me some people don't I I might you know some people we're both there wow Robin relate to him hey you know what she what's she talking about or some people might be like hey I really resonate so that's just like you're think of your own listening to this that your own life like does mine like and accept everyone or is it more accurate that your experiences I feel could or accept I accept here where we're feeling resistance accept or that that uh lack of acceptance that's a judgment that's an opportunity to go deeper like just like we're doing here now Rasmus can I'm having trouble hearing you I'm not sure if it's my or microphon can you hear me now yes sorry okay so Ras Miss can you think of a circumstance uh with an individual where you didn't feel accepted or you didn't feel liked yes um okay so explain that to us a specific G give us a context because we're going to Anchor in a specific situation um when I went to high school I didn't do very well I was addicted to all sorts of things and I didn't have any good grades and I lost the motivation to go to school but my dad wanted me to go and he said that I had to get good grades and he didn't understand that I wasn't motivated or willing to do my best and I've been told many times that the the only thing I have to do is do my best so what I hear from you tell me if this would be an accurate statement because we want uh in order for this to be most effective the power of inquiry is you identify a statement you identify a thought so my dad didn't understand that I was doing my best would that be accurate okay so my dad so that is so we're working on it the belief we're working on is my dad didn't understand that I was doing my best and also also maybe that he didn't or don't understand what I want to do that I want to do other things that I'm passionate about and not the things that he wants me to do or wants himself to do yes yes so my dad didn't understand that I was doing my best or uh you know the other things that I or understand the other things that I was wanting to work on yes yes beautiful so Rasmus Just In This Moment go back to that can you close your eyes just for a moment and go back to that situation where are you where are you are you at home are you at school where was the interaction the specific situation that you did that you felt that your dad uh didn't understand that you were doing your best at home okay can you explain to us what it looks like whereabouts at home uh in our living room after we ate dinner together okay so we're all with Rasmus right now can you see Rasmus at his home in his living room in your mind's eye he just had dinner okay and your dad came in and what um I I think I was trying to express how I was not feeling well in high school how I wasn't um yeah yes pursuing what I wanted and then maybe I would like to drop out or do something else and I was just not feeling fulfilled okay beautiful so be there now in that circumstance just after you had dinner with your father your dad doesn't understand that I'm doing my best is it true is it true that he doesn't understand it or is it true that that he does that he didn't that he didn't pardon me it's not true it's not true that I didn't do my best no okay that's beautiful but was it is it true that your dad didn't understand yes that's true yes okay so it's true yes and if I were going to add could that be a misinterpretation or misperception on your part do you know everything you could possibly know about what your father knew about you and what he believed would support you best do you have all the possible information know exactly what that means I don't that's good and so let's stay here now in that situation uh Rasmus I'm going to ask you once again my dad doesn't understand I was doing my best can you absolutely Rasmus know that it's true that your dad didn't understand that you were doing your best I can't so no the first two questions are a one response it's either s yes or no so no so Rasmus how do you react how do you react when you believe the thought my dad didn't understand I was doing my best how do you ra what emotions arise I felt frustrated I felt not understood I felt like he was um telling me to do something different than what I felt inside of me so I also felt confusion Within Myself yeah and anger yes a lot of anger yeah and and how did that anger Express notice how do what did your face look like what did your tone of voice look like in that circumstance when you believe the thought my dad didn't understand I was doing my best I would get more and more frustrated until I would e either cry or I would yell at him yeah walk out of the room yes did that uh does the statement as the belief my dad doesn't understand I was doing my best does that thought bring you stress or peace stress yes what images do you see past or future when you believe the thought my dad doesn't understand or didn't understand I was doing my best um well before I I just did what I wanted to do and what I what made me happy but when I believe that he knew or he would decide what was best for me I I think I started to do what he what I think he wants me to do or think that other people wants me to do yeah and so I just want to to reflect back to you when you believe the thought that my dad didn't understand I was doing my best you feel frustrated you felt not understood you felt confused within yourself you felt anger a lot of anger you would cry and yell at your father you'd walk out of the room feeling stressed and you started to do what you thought he wanted you thought he wanted you to do rather than what your own deepest heart wanted to do Rasmus who would you be in that exact circumstance I ask one question after you yes of course please one more question is that how you want to feel no do you want to feel that way no absolutely not is that a burden to feel that way yeah does it carry over to other relationships in your life that same pattern now yes so it's more than just your father isn't it yeah it is is everything yes yeah okay all right let's continue yes so staying in that same circumstance Rasmus and once again this is not the full quiry process we are going to post afterwards if you want to go deeper in this this is just a short inversion but Rasmus close your eyes connecting in that moment after you ate dinner your your father is there are you sitting down uh yeah are you at the kitchen table there yes is he sitting down or is he is he is he standing where is he uh we all sitting with my mom and my dad and my sister beautiful so as you sit with your family and specifically with your father Rasmus who would you be without the thought my father doesn't understand me in that situation who would you be without that thought I would love my father so much more I would I would be myself I would do the things that I wanted without thinking about what my father thinks just that I hope and that that I believe that he will be proud of me that he will love me and that he that he really doesn't expect all the things that I believe of me yeah how would that feel what would you feel if that was true that it feels amazing right now because I I think I believe it good so what other emotions would you experience uh re who would you be without the thought my father doesn't understand I'm doing my best what else would you feel you never had that thought ever would feel much more content in myself I feel way more confident in myself not constantly asking myself the question of what does he think of me or what does someone else think of me right yes be way happier I'll be more compassionate towards myself more loving towards myself so without the thought just notice this is your own language I would feel amazing I would not worry about what people think I'd be happy I'd be more compassionate towards myself would you be more compassionate towards your father definitely yes so You' be more compassionate Happy Feeling amazing without the thought my dad doesn't understand me so let's go to the next can we put it up there on the screen for the turnarounds and can we write the original statement please who's ever doing that the turnaround my dad doesn't understand me can we have that on the screen the original statement just helps one CE again to Anchor it for everybody that's going to be doing this at home I find it ever so we're doing this in real time but you would actually write this out yourself so you'd have we're just that we have a a remarkable team thank you guys for capturing this uh so the belief we're working on is my dad didn't understand I was doing my best let's just that's the statement we're actually uh working on so let's drop the other for this time just for the Simplicity and the effectiveness of the turnaround my dad didn't understand I was doing my best Rasmus can you find a turnaround an opposite to that statement my dad is proud of everything I'm doing he's he loves me for everything that I do for everything that I am he loves me without me having to do anything to gain his love or would that be yes yes beautiful so would that uh would you find an um an additional uh your exact words are the reverse my dad does understand that I'm doing my best how else give us a couple examples uh that your dad does in in that situation uh understand that you're doing your best give us an example that's where we're building the legs now right the architecture what's what's an example right now that if you really focused on it could show you that Dad does understand that to give my best he does he is proud of me he's trying so hard he's trying so hard to communicate better with me and understand me um we have trouble understanding each other um and he tries so hard and that's really love that comes from him and I can feel it from him that he wants to to know what what it is that I'm dealing with beautiful I have another once again we're just trying these on Katie always says you know you try it on like a pair of shoes so I have another uh turnaround would you like to hear it yeah so rather than my dad didn't understand I was doing my best another opposite because we're turning is around okay is I don't understand that my dad D was doing his best yeah that's beautiful is that true you have references to know that's true yeah that's that's very true and and in that exact circumstance can you share one or two circumstances how you didn't understand that your father was doing his best I I didn't have any understanding of him doing his best because I was so busy I was I was so busy thinking about the ways that he made me feel um that I didn't think about why he would say the things he want wanted and I I've since then also learned more about his past and how he was brought up and all this stuff and I have gained more compassion towards him and more acceptance and I'm definitely getting closer right now right right now here right now it's so beautiful one one of the most powerful gifts of this process is it obliterates blame and it puts the not the blame but the responsibility back on us that's what we can affect that's what we can change and we can tidy up and be so connected to our fathers to your Daddy it's so beautiful I please go ahead no please honey and can you see how other people you've not taken the time to figure out what they were going through or they were attempting to do in their life and you thought they were judging you just like your dad not knowing what they were going to themsel you just watch Tina judging herself constantly you'd probably have seen her when she's really focusing on growing her face and so forth you might think she was rejecting you or not liking you or not happy with you if you were in her presence before her transformation back to her true self but the truth is have you ever taken the time do you really take the time when you're thinking people are judging you to see if they're judging themselves or whether it has nothing to do with you have you taken the time because if you've not then you see this is not just a pattern around your father this is the pattern that can obliterate all the pain and limitations or a good portion of them anyway that you experience around this pattern yeah because it isn't just your dad and it was before your dad and it'll be after your dad until you come to the deeper truth what is the deeper truth what is the ultimate truth my soul now knows what that I am worthy as I am yes that I absolutely want and that I only need my own approval yes tell me three ways you know that's true give me three pieces of evons how you know that's true how do you know that's true that I need my own approval my soul knows that I'm worth as I can you say that again tell me three ways you know that statement is true my soul knows that I'm worthy as I am I only need my own approval give me three ways you know that's true because when I give myself approval I feel good for permanent time and when I take others approval I only feel it for a small amount of time and then anxiety or stuff comes back that's right yeah give me hand for that that's awesome that's awesome give me another way you know it's true my soul knows it's true that I'm worthy as I am I only need my own approval what's another way you know another reason another way you know that that is absolutely true kind of freeing right now well this is this is good because this is where you're making new Connections in your brain we're locking in a deeper truth now we're not just getting rid of the old I'm going to close my eyes and can you say the question again yes of course yes tell me how do you know your soul is worthy as you are that you only need your own approval what's another reason why you know that's true because every human is beautiful and I'm one of them I'm yeah that's it that's it that's absolutely true and give me one more reason you know my soul knows that I'm worthy as I am that I only need my own approval one more reason when I give myself approval I can love so much more I can give other people so much more love and appreciation what happens when you love and appreciate other people how do they tend to respond to you as opposed to yelling at him or being angry they give it they and I feel great Wow win win win win win is this how much would this new belief change your whole life not just your relationship with your father would change what could you do if you operated from this new belief what could you do or experience in life I could stop thinking about what others think of me and start doing the things that I'm scared of doing start pursuing the things that I want to do and I'm holding myself back from and if you do that how will your life turn out how will your life what your life experience be like if you do that on a regular basis not perfectly but you remind yourself you come back to the truth it's not perfect it's just you start to get hooked and then you go no no no wait a second I'm worthy as I am I lean my own approval because when I get my approval from other people it's not permanent short live it comes back and I'm a human all humans are beautiful I'm one of them and when I give myself approv I love so much more I give love I I appreciate more and when I love other not fearful what would that do to your whole life it would make it possible to do all the things that I'm talking about all my dreams um everything I will be aligned with the things that I want to do I would suddenly be able to actually pursue these things and talk freely and be more confident when I start to focus on these things we're talking about that's magnificent give it up for him as this is beautiful [Music] [Applause] much yes asmus we look forward to you contining your journey brother you're only three weeks into this you're going to have so many more things to stack the beauty of this and I know you'll be going to Unleash the Power Within so you you have no idea what's coming but what a beautiful Foundation everybody one more oh yes and and I also Rasmus I look forward to the next time that you sit with your father that you have a meal with your family and that you see him through an accurate lens through the reality of your own words our team will send you uh you know your own language because it was so rich and knowing that your daddy does recognize that you do your best recognizing that you do as well and being able to love him so clearly from that place uh it's stunning when we lift the veils the distortions away and see our beloveds for the beauty that they are God bless you Rasmus you represent each and every one of us it's a privilege to be with you today thank you for your willing heart your beautiful [Applause] spirit

Channel: Tony Robbins

Views: 102,398

Keywords: Tony Robbins, Anthony Robbins, tony robbins podcast, tony robbins motivation, tony robbins youtube, tony robbins questions, questions to ask, sage robbins, sage robbins podcast, tony robbins inner circle, sage robbins interview, tony robbins interview, tony robbins coaching, self development, personal development, psychology of success, psychology of successful people, personal growth, self help

Id: cezRZBe2gOQ

Length: 54min 46sec (3286 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 04 2024