4. Am I Allowed to Remarry After Divorce?

you well good morning again if you have your Bibles could you please open them to first Corinthians chapter 7 first Corinthians chapter 7 and if you have a old-fashioned Bible put a piece of paper in Matthew 19 as well if you're on a device we'll be in Matthew 19 a little later as well first Corinthians 7 and Matthew 19 let's pray together Holy Spirit I need you every single Sunday but man do I need you this Sunday I just need you to take this message that you've given me and communicate it clearly so that we can hear your heart God we long to hear your heart we live in this world and it's not Eden it's fallen and there's struggles in life and things don't always work out the way we planned them to work out and and there's pain and there's grief and there's sin and there's mistakes we make and and as a result many times marriage is really hard sometimes our marriages end and it's hard and knowing what to do with all that is a challenge so as we look into your word today Lord asking a very specific and hard question I pray for your clarity I pray you'd speak through me I offer myself to you and I pray it in Jesus name Amen so when I graduated from seminary a number of years ago I knew everything I did I'd done my 4 years and I knew it all I knew it I created my positions on all the different things about one of my seminary professors had told us you need to write a paper and it's gonna be graded on your position on marriage divorce and remarriage and you need to research it you need to figure out what your position is gonna be because once you get to your church you won't have enough time to do this research you got to do it now before you go and so I in my some seminary years I studied and I grappled and I came up with my position and I handed it in and I got my grade and and Libby and I came down here to Texas and I had my position in my file I was ready to go I knew everything 28 years old and I knew everything yeah I've been at it about 26 27 years now and I know a lot less now and those of you that are in your 50s you kind of know what I'm talking about it's amazing how the more you study something the less you feel you know shortly after I got here with my position in my file in my office I sat down with a couple they wanted me to do their wedding and then the course of the conversation I realized that one of them had a divorce in their past I came to the conclusion using my paper that I had in my head that the divorce was not on biblical grounds and so I told them no I will not do your wedding and I actually told them no you two should not get married and as I drove home to my lovely wife and my beautiful children of my warm family home they drove home separately alone that was a struggle for me that's still a struggle for me it was a long after that that I had a conversation with a woman she had come to see me her husband had left her for another woman divorced her married the other woman and he was gone she had started dating a man and then someone told her but you're divorced you can't get married again anyway so she'd broken up that relationship and she'd come to ask me how do I deal with this I'm so sad I'm grieving I'm so lonely and you see she had been told that if you're ever divorced you cannot get remarried and she was really sad not long after that I had another conversation this is a real conversation with a guy whose wife had left him and divorced him for no discernible reason she didn't have any biblical grounds she just got tired of the marriage so she left and so someone had told him that you can only get remarried if there was adultery involved in your divorce and so here was his question to me said Pete should I pray the she sleeps with someone or so I just go sleep with someone breaking the marriage bond so that I can marry someone else one day this is not an easy question the question of marriage divorce and remarriage it's awkward and it's why we're addressing it today and you can't address remarriage without addressing divorce and that's really hard too I need to share a disclaimer I told you that 26 years ago I knew everything and I know less now I am still learning and growing in this area so I'm gonna share with you what I think today I am NOT speaking for the rest of our staff I'm not speaking for our elder board I am NOT speaking Ben Tree Bible fellowships position because there would probably be varied positions you see this question can I marry someone after I've been divorced there would be two camps that would answer that one camp says no never that's pretty tidy it's just no the other camp says it depends and in that camp it's a huge camp and that camp there's a lot of little campfires little camp sites and if you go from one camp fire to the next and ask them it depends on what you'll hear different things from different people they'll have different passages that they'll point to and when you're done your head will hurt so I'm not speaking for everyone else I'm just sharing with you as your Shepherd I want to walk you through this conversation so that you with the spirit can make important decisions yourself and I'll be doing that from where I now stand as I understand Scripture does that make sense you following me alright so the question that we're gonna address today is am I allowed to get married again if I've been divorced I don't want you to know what Pete thinks I want to know what Jesus thinks and what Paul thinks Peter and John don't really address this specific question so the way we're gonna ask this question is like this hey Jesus hey Paul am I allowed to get married again that's the question today alright so I asked you to turn to first Corinthians chapter 7 and so we're gonna start with Paul and we'll get to Jesus as we go Paul is addressing the church in Corinth it's at a time of famine poverty and persecution for the church Paul also believes that Jesus is coming back soon he probably believed he would come back in his own lifetime and so the tenor of this specific chapter as he speaks about marital relations is basically this hey Jesus is coming back soon there's no food we're really poor we're getting persecuted just stay the way you are whatever your question is about Marys just stay the way you are but then he speaks specifically to specific scenarios and as he does we'll observe what he says starting in verse 8 of 1st Corinthians 7 Paul says first of all I want you to know that being single is good single is good now to the unmarried and the widows to the single people and the widows those who were married but have lost a spouse I say this it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am did you know that Paul was single he was he most likely was married as a young man but he has lost his wife in some way shape or form almost every young rabbi was married it's extraordinarily rare that they're not she might have died in childbirth it was fairly common in those days unfortunately or she might have divorced him Saul went away to Jerusalem and came back a completely different man's she might not have been cool with the whole Christian thing and she might left he might know exactly what it feels like to be dumped and what he says here is now to the unmarried and the widows I say it's good for them to stay unmarried if you're single just stay single now remember he's thinking Jesus is coming back within weeks or months and so he's just saying just stay single but then he also goes on to say marrying is good too in verse 9 but if they cannot control themselves they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion in verse 39 he says as long as you're marrying a believer go ahead and get married if you're struggling to control yourself it's better to get married than to fall into sexual is what he's saying so single is good marrying is good and now with those two general thoughts floating out there he goes after a very specific question concerning divorce verse 10 what he's gonna tell us is that divorce for no reason is forbidden divorce for no reason is forbidden to the married I give this command not i but the Lord a wife must not separate underlined separate from her husband but if she does she must remain unmarried or else reconciled to her husband and a husband must not divorce underlined divorce it's literally send away his wife so a wife must not separate from her husband and a husband must not send away his wife the language that Paul uses here is very specific language he's zeroing in on a very specific Roman law called divorce by separation here's how this Roman law worked if you wanted to divorce your spouse if your spouse owned the house most likely the man and the man's family owned the house then the woman would walk out the front door turn around and say I'm separating from you and in that very instant as far as Roman law was concerned she was considered divorced their marriage was over and she was eligible for remarriage all she had to say is I'm separating from you the person who owned the house if they wanted to get their spouse out all they had to do is say I'm sending you away and then the wife would have to leave and in that moment their marriage was over they were both eligible for remarriage it's divorced by separation no grounds are necessary if you just feel like getting divorced you just get divorced the modern-day equivalent might be the no-fault divorce that we see nowadays people they get bored trading or in for a younger model that whole idea incompatibility we just don't get along well Paul is saying here is not a universal statement about divorce because later in this text he allows for divorce in a different circumstance he's specifically speaking to divorce bicep raishin look at the language he uses he actually uses the exact language from the law Oh wife must not separate from her husband so don't walk out the front door and divorce your husband and a man must not send away his wife don't send her out and divorce her that way he's speaking specifically to that law you see Paul knew that God had laid out grounds for divorce in the Old Testament divorce was never God's idea married from death until death do us part was God's idea but in this fallen world he realized that sometimes people needed protection even in marriage and so he allowed divorce and he allowed certain grounds for divorce the Apostle Paul knew this he knew the Old Testament by heart he would understand these grounds and so what he saw happening in Corinth with some of these Christians just saying you know what go on out the front door and say no no you can't do that divorce for no reason is forbidden so what were the Old Testament grounds for divorce that Paul had in his mind it's important that we know this so that we can grapple with this biblically there are two specific passages that give us in my estimation two grounds for divorce from the Old Testament let me share them with you first one is in Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 a very famous passage and the ground for divorce here is adultery if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because in her he finds a cause of indecency a cause of indecency and he writes her a certificate of divorce he gives it to her and sends her away and he goes on to affirm that this is an appropriate course of action the cause of indecency the word indecency that means sexual immorality most likely means adultery if the woman commits adultery he says she can have a support a certificate of divorce written and given to her certificate of divorce included permission for remarriage one was discovered in Masada it was dated ad 72 it was a divorce certificate for a couple named Joseph and very a different Joseph of Mary no doubts it was very common names in those days but on Mary's certificate of divorce the last line said you are now free to marry any man you wish you are now free to marry any man you wish and this was standard on every divorce certificate that's been discovered in the ancient world so to be divorced meant it assumed that that person would be eligible for remarriage if you knew anything about the ancient world women needed to be married they needed to be in their father's home or they needed to be married or they would starve or they would become prostitutes or beg those were their options they had no other options they had to have a man taking care of them so if a woman was divorced the idea was she's divorced so that she can find another relationship and be remarried again David and stone Brewer said and I quote there were no Jewish parties in the first century who prohibited remarriage after divorce and quote the Jews believed that all should marry so that they could be fruitful and multiply they saw this as a direct commandment in fact it was the duty of every Jew to be fruitful and multiply and the way this kind of shook out was that everyone was expected to have at least two kids and so if a divorce happened or a death happened before two kids before the quota was massive they were strongly encouraged to get remarried so they could be fruitful and multiply this was the normal culture of the day it was assumed if one was divorced they could remarry and the way the divorce happened was a certificate of divorce first of all for a cause of indecency or adultery but was there any other cause it was there another reason why one might get divorced well there is another passage in the Old Testament in the law section in Exodus 21 that the Jewish rabbis came to see as another source for causes for divorce I'm gonna title it cruelty as the second ground cruelty Exodus 21 10 11 says this if he okay let me explain who he is he is a relatively wealthy man who has slaves he decides to marry one of his slave girls and then in this text decides to take another slave girl as his wife okay so we're not gonna get into everything that's wrong in that scenario because everything's wrong about that scenario because I want you to look at what happens next because what happens next the Jewish rabbis saw as God giving a ground for divorce here's what happens next if he marries another woman he must not deprive the first one of three things of her food of her clothing and of her marital rights or her conjugal rights physical intimacy if he does not provide her with these three things listen she is to go free his wife is to go free without any payment of money so this guy marries another woman and starts to neglect his first wife starts to neglect her in a cruel way he is deserting her without actually leaving he is abusing her he's withholding food from her she's starving he's withholding clothing from her in the winter she is freezing he's withholding intimacy in touch she is in despair this is cruelty in the net Bible and the notes in the net Bible it says and I quote in mentioning this verse the principle is this that women who were often at the mercy of their husbands must not be trapped in an unfortunate situation God is preventing people who have power over others from abusing that power end quote this is cruelty to the point of danger the rabbis taught from this point on the rabbis taught that if this is true for a slave girl it's obviously true for a free woman as well and if this is true in a polygamous situation it's obviously true in a monogamous marriage as well and it became the rule of thought that if this type of neglect and abuse is happening in a home the woman is free to divorce some scholars see Paul affirming these grounds in first Corinthians 7 I want to share this quote with you it's from David in stone Brewer who develops this line of thinking quite deeply he said in that quote abusive situations were covered by these laws because physical and emotional abuse are extreme forms of neglecting material support or physical affection so his his logic is if it's okay to divorce if you're simply being neglected obviously if you're being abused that's neglect to the tenth power that would be covered in this clause as well once again some scholars see Paul as affirming these grounds in first Corinthians seven in the first seven verses he's talking about the conjugal rights and he's saying if you're married make sure you're having sex together and then the other two food and clothing they see as being referred to in verse 34 which says but a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world how can he please his wife in a time of famine and poverty how can you feed a wife how can you make sure she's clothed you can't neglect a woman so don't get married at all he says in verse 34 and one should imagine the following scene it's a fictional scene it's hypothetical let's imagine for argument's sake that 30 years from now Libby and I have a granddaughter and she's grown up she's a young woman she's fallen in love at college and she's gotten married after a few months a year or two she tells us that they're struggling a little bit in their marriage that he's actually a little violent with her we say what do you mean violence is well he just yells a lot and it's hurtful to me and we're like okay and we try to get them help and try not to get too involved because you know all that stuff but we're concerned about them we're praying for them one day she shows up on the front door and her nose is bleeding and she's got a shiner and she says he hit me what do you do what do you do with that now this is a hypothetical situation but this is not hypothetical for some of you some of you would live with this I've talked to some of you what do you do with that here's what we I think would do we would call the police and we would report domestic violence and we would get a report on file we would put her in bed safe upstairs the next morning we'd have a long conversation we'd find out exactly what's going on we would figure out what counselor we were gonna sit down with we would have a counselor start to walk us through how to help her how to determine what this abuse looks like we'd have conversations with him you know conversations with him and we'd figure out if there's any contrition any repentance at all if there is repentance and we sense it's true repentance we would encourage her to wait and to see what God does and to start to pray for restoration if this repentance is demonstrated over a long period of time and the counselor helps us figure out that this is safe we might encourage you to move back towards him if there is no repentance if there was a consistent danger for her I would most likely encourage her to file for divorce and when she says but am I allowed to biblically I would take her to these passages I would say if this woman who was denied food and clothing and physical intimacy is free to go if you're getting beat up you're free to go that's what I would say you see God designed marriage to be a vineyard of love not a prison for abuse and it's not his idea and he has a heart for victims I could list any number of passages here's one psalm 10:17 you Lord hear the desire of the afflicted you encourage them and you listen to their cry defending the fatherless and the oppressed so that mere earthly mortals will never again strike to God's not okay with mere mortals striking terror he's not okay with that and he wants to protect especially women I know men get abused too please understand me I know that he wants to protect those who are being abused I share this with a little trepidation because cruelty is obviously a subjective thing I don't want 50 of you running out of here saying what Pete said I can get divorced it's not what this is about I hope you hear my heart if you sense there's cruelty in your marriage come and talk to someone we want to come alongside you we want to help you with that back to first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 10 so the married Paul said I give this command what was the command this no-fault divorce it's not okay it's forbidden that's the command but listen to what he says not i but the Lord this is actually the Lord's command I'm agreeing with Jesus on this well where does Jesus say this well I asked you to turn to Matthew chapter 19 verse 3 so please turn there and we're gonna see what Jesus has to say about all this Matthew chapter 19 verse 3 some Pharisees came to Jesus to test him and they asked him is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason underlying for any and every reason there's importance in those words in 2001 a man in Dubai divorced his wife via text he texted her I divorce you the reason he divorced her is because she was late to make his tea his afternoon tea this was the third time he had text I divorced you to her and under a new law in Dubai in 2001 all you had to say as a man to your wife was three times I divorce you I divorce you I divorce you and the marriage was over sounds a little similar to what Paul was dealing with in Corinth she said you can't do this via text and so she took it to court and the court upheld his divorce via text because in that culture the man gots to do whatever he wants that was very similar to the cultural setting that Jesus was walking around in it had become kind of like that men could basically divorce their wives for any reason basically for any cause there was a great debate in Jesus day between two great rabbis and their schools the school of Shammai and the school of Hillel they were circling around a very specific passage of Scripture and there was great debate about it the passage was Deuteronomy chapter 24 verse 1 I've already shared it with you it's the verse that we looked at to see adultery as one of the grounds for divorce let me describe the debate for you if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because in her he finds a cause of indecency Sam I said well there is one cause for divorce indecency adultery it's obvious from the text if there's adultery then divorce is possible Hallel said yeah but there's this other word it seems unnecessary this word cause why is that word in there unless there's another cause there's two causes for divorce in this test said Hallel and because this cause is not clearly defined it means any cause so he said literally if your wife burns the toast you can divorce her if you see a woman more beautiful you can divorce your wife and marry her this was hell else understanding of this text hmm so with that background some of the religious leaders came to Jesus one day in Matthew chapter 19 verse 3 and said is it lawful to devote Juan's wife you could read for any cause any cause was the language that Hallel was using so they were asking Jesus are you a sir my guy or a Hallel a guy where do you stand on this debate is it for adultery or is it for any cause he followed me so with that in mind listen to how Jesus responds verse 4 haven't you read he replied that at the beginning the creator made them male and female and he said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what God has joined together let no one separate so he refers back to the Genesis account on marriage when God established the institution of marriage and he said it's two people and when the two people come together in marriage they become one person there's a new entity it's a new person they don't lose their individuality but they are one now so what God has done by putting two people together as one don't anyone separate that in other words divorce is a bad idea don't do it it's like ripping two people apart people get hurt when people get divorced general rule it's a bad idea don't separate what God has joined together verse seven why then they asked did Moses command that a man give a wife a certificate of divorce and send her her way they believe that divorce was compulsory if a woman committed adultery or any other reasons if they were from Hallel jesus replied Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hurt Moses didn't command you to divorce her he said it was okay to if this in case in in case it actually happened but the reason he allowed it is because your hearts were hard you were not willing to forgive you are not willing to start over so because this isn't God's plan but in this fallen world God needs to protect people he allowed you to write certificates of divorce but he said was not this way from the beginning this was not the way God intended it so divorce is a bad idea don't do it he did permit it to protect certain people but it's not the way God intended at the beginning now he's gonna answer their question now he's gonna tell them whether he's a Shamai guy or halal guy in verse nine I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another woman commits adultery who did he say my wit who did he side with who did he sir my wif he sir my with side he sided with sir my he rejected Hallel he said no divorce for any cause is not really divorce at all if you think that then you've gone with some other woman you're committing adultery you're not really divorced you can't divorce someone for no reason once again this is not a universal edict on divorce and remarriage Jesus is answering a specific question about a specific date about a specific passage this Deuteronomy 24:1 passage if you were making a universal statement he would be contradicting Paul who later says that divorce is allowable for abandonment so he's not he's not saying this is everything I have to say about divorce and remarriage but I'm simply answering this question that you're asking me and I side with Sir my on this so Paul and Jesus agree marriage is a holy union to people becoming one is designed to last until death and divorcing for no reason is forbidden they both said this so back to first Corinthians chapter 7 verse 11 we made it one verse we are cruising aren't we 1st Corinthians 7 verse 11 some Christians have already used this divorce by separation what now some Christians have already divorced their spouse for no biblical grounds what happens now Paul says in verse 11 if she does or if he does separate herself she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband so if if you've used divorce by separation you've divorced for no biblical grounds you should remain unmarried so that you can reconcile go back try to restore that relationship this is not a punishment it's an opportunity to put things right God is in the restoration business he wants to restore that broken marriage he goes on to deal with other issues around divorce in verse 12 he says don't divorce unbelieving spouses so if you in Corinth in those days put your trust in Christ but your spouse refused to become a believer and then you heard Paul say elsewhere in his writings don't be unequally yoked don't be connected to an unbeliever some people started asking well should I divorced my non believing spouse then so that I can marry a Christian one and he responds in this way in verse 12 to the rest I say this I not the Lord by saying that it still inspired Scripture understand he's just going beyond what Jesus said Jesus just spoke to one specific question now Paul is going beyond that so he's telling them Jesus didn't talk about this but I'm gonna speak into it now if any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to let to live with him he must not divorce her and if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her she must not divorce him in in other words if they're willing to stay with you stay why because you're probably gonna influence them towards Christ it's a good thing for you to stay he says that in some strange words in verse 14 for the unbelieving husband is been sanctified through the wife and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband otherwise your children would be unclean but is it our they are holy that God is doing something in this family so if they're willing to stay with you stay because I want to redeem this whole family but what if you're a victim of the divorce by separation what if you're the one that got left or got kicked out you didn't ask for this divorce it just happened to you what do you do verse 15 speaks specifically to you but if the unbeliever Lee let it be so the brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances the brother-sister is not enslaved in such circumstances listen to this God has called us to live in peace he doesn't want us to live in endless conflict over a divorce he wants us to live in peace and so he says let them go he said but but I want to stay I don't want them to go because I want to lead them to Christ he says in verse 16 well how do you know wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know husband whether you will save your wife what he's saying is as soon as he sends you out the door in that moment the divorce is final you have no say in this it's okay doesn't mean don't fight for your marriage it just means if they're unwilling let it go let it go the fact that he used not bound not enslaved language would remind Jewish readers of Exodus 21 everyone would have been aware of that passage of that woman no longer being bound she was set free because of that neglect this would be Paul saying when you're neglected this way when you're deserted this way when you're abused this way let it go the way I see it Jesus affirms the grounds for adultery from Deuteronomy 24 in Matthew 19 and Paul affirms desertion cruelty abuse from Exodus 21 right here in verse 15 of 1st Corinthians 7 but and we get to our question of the day is remarriage permitted when biblical grounds are present is it allowed well verses 17 through 24 I won't read them all because we're almost out of time Paul says in a number of different ways stay the way you are stay the way you are stay the way you are summarizing in verse 20 each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them why verse 26 tells us because of this present crisis the famine the persecution the fact Jesus is coming back soon just stay the way you are that's the general rule but specifically in verse 25 he says these words now about virgins single people I have no command from the Lord but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy because of this present crisis I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is because of this present crisis single folks say single if you are single and you're depressed hearing this remember we're not in the same present crisis right we're not experiencing famine and poverty we don't know if Jesus is gonna come back any day now obviously if you're single and you want to marry Paul said earlier go for it that's how we started the whole text verse 27 a key passage for us in our question today are you pledged to a woman do not seek to be released are you free from such a commitment do not look for a wife but if you do marry you have not sinned and if a virgin marries she has not sinned but those who marry will face many troubles in life and I want to spare you this pain yeah I think Paul had tongue-in-cheek when he wrote that last lines okay I wanted to show you something just bear with me this is really important the verse that I just read to you in the NIV 2010 which is what I just read to you says are you pledged to be oh to a woman are you pledged to a woman do not seek to be released are you free from such a plebs do not look for a wife but if you do marry you have not sins in 1984 version of the NIV they actually had a better translation they changed it for their recent update here's what it said in 1984 are you married do not seek a divorce are you unmarried do not look for a wife but if you do marry you have not sinned so the Greek word here means to bind and the Greek word here means to set loose because of the context almost everyone believes that he's talking about marriage and divorce here so he says are you married then don't seek a divorce this word for set loose is the same word used right here are you and they translated unmarried but they should have translated divorced then do not look for a wife stay the way you are but if you do marry you have not sinned so the NIV says it this way and that's more literal are you bound to a wife do not seek to be released are you released that's consistent do not seek a wife but if you do you have not sinned I think that speaks to our current conversation the simple reading looks like this are you married don't get divorced are you divorced don't look for a wife but if you do get married again it's not sin it sounds like Paul speak it out of both sides of his mouth he kind of is you know why because he's trying to help you walk in holiness in a fallen broken world and that my friends gets messy it's hard it's challenging he wants to point you towards grace so Jesus and Paul am I allowed to get married again here's my simple answer from all this conversation biblically if your divorce resulted from adultery or cruelty you are free to remarry I've spent a lot of time just trying to answer one question my guess is that I've raised more questions than I've answered but that's part of this conversation and I just wanted to get the conversation started but if you were sitting in my office today there's a few things I want to say to you before you leave and these are really important so please listen carefully first thing I want to say is that repentance and forgiveness is always the best outcome when a marriage is broken and hurting always marriages are precious they are worth fighting for they are worth forgiving for I have seen the most desperately broken marriages revived into the most beautiful marriages it can happen to anything anyone into any situation so it's always the best course of action let me say this if you're grappling with this it's your decision um I don't have authority to tell you what to do I'm your Shepherd it's your life it's your relationship with Jesus it's you're listening to the spirit you have to make the decisions but do not make these decisions alone talk to people talk to your community talk to the spirit talk to your pastors talk to your counselor make sure you're talking to a lot of people that you trust that will help you grapple with what God is saying in your specific case let me say this there are two people in every divorce both of them are responsible to some degree now in some cases it might be 99 percent one percent but that one percent is a contribution they're usually a little closer to the center everyone's responsible but in many many divorces there is one person who has sinned and deeply wounded the other if you are the victim and you're the victim of adultery or cruelty or desertion you are free to remarry you are not enslaved to your status you're not marked with a Scarlet Letter you're free if you are the one who sinned who wounded the other person grace covers the sin of divorce - it does it's not the unforgivable sin my friends some of you might have been told that at some point if it is possible to reconcile if neither of you have remarried your spouse is still alive still available then I would encourage you to go and see if the spirit can do that try if it's impossible if the other person is remarried there they've passed away they refuse and then really grapple with 1st Corinthians 7 and ask God what's next for you let me say this if your spouse is physically abusing you get out of the house today today you do not have to put up with that do not put up with that there are friends here that you can go into their home we will take you in will care for you will help you figure out what's next they get out of danger and even in this situation remember the repentance and forgiveness is always always the best result God has rescued these marriages - he still can but you staying there will not help that let me say this if you hear me giving you a loophole to get out of a marriage you've become bored with you are miss hearing me I'm not saying that I don't know how more clearly I can say that Jesus and Paul were adamant that giving up on a marriage for no biblical reason was forbidden marriages are precious hang in there it's hard it's a covenant do the work ask God to rescue you and finally let me say this some of you are sitting here and you went through a non-biblical divorce you initiated it you did not have biblical grounds and now you're remarried and you feel ashamed and you're listening to this message saying oh no am i living in sin away I get the struggle with that I understand I've actually had some people in that scenario asked me should I divorce my wife now and my answer has always been no two wrongs don't make a right you are married you are forgiven you are under grace you are not carrying shame shame is left at the cross you too do not have a scarlet letter you are not defined by your status your identity is a child of God washed in the precious blood of Jesus and filled with his spirit that's who you are walk in that life this text would say stay the way you are and that's would be my advice to you when my brother was a young man had four small children at home his wife walked out on him left him and married someone else it was devastating for him for his kids for our family took him a long time to recover divorce stinks it hurts about the same time there's a young woman out east at very similar experience with two small children took her a long time to recover and God brought their paths across each other they fell in love and they be married and then God gave them a little baby at one point they had six teenagers in a two year old this family was full and it was full of life and it was beautiful it's beautiful God can take ashes and create beauty he's incredible that way he's a God of grace and he's a God of life and he loves you that's what I want to leave you with so would you bear with bow with me please lord thank you for this opportunity to grapple with a really hard thing and I pray for my brothers and sisters who are listening I pray for many of them some of this is new maybe all of it's new maybe they have more questions leaving they had when they came in I get that but that here we are grappling with your word grappling with your grace grappling with the leading of the Spirit and trying to hear you in our lives oh Jesus I pray that you would heal broken marriages repentance and forgiveness is always the best option I pray that you would restore and refresh broken marriages I pray you would even bring divorced couples back together and remarry one another we've seen that happen here it's beautiful when you do that I pray that would happen too I pray that abused people would get help I pray that confused people would get clarity I pray Holy Spirit for you to lead in our midst and I entrust all this to your care and I pray it all in Jesus name Amen it will come as a relief to many of you to discover that we have finished our four weeks of awkward sermons we might come back to this topic again because there's a few other awkward topics out there but we're done with this one for now have a great week we'll see you next time

Channel: Telling the Truth with Stuart and Jill Briscoe

Views: 3,339

Rating: 4.4074073 out of 5

Keywords: Pete Briscoe, Telling the Truth, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage, Christian Living

Id: qXhYSQVqZLo

Length: 47min 27sec (2847 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 10 2018