16 Times Eric Cartman Was Pure Evil

you guys you guys you're not going to believe this this is so funny what so last night while Butters was asleep I gave him a Hitler what's a Hitler you know when somebody's sleeping you put your finger up your butt and then wipe it on their upper lip to give them a little Hitler mustache you've never Hitler anyone no I never have here he goes good morning fellas all set to go [Music] sking what's so funny nothing buts right guys [Music] that's like this one time when I didn't like a kid so I ground his parents up into chili and fed it to him you got it man you got it see you now the first thing to do in domestic disturbance cars like this one is to just calm everybody down respect my authority Cartman I'm going to make you a deal what that kid over there is my cousin from the East Coast he's having a really hard time right now so I'm going to offer you $40 to not rip on him 40 bucks but you can't make fun of him at all no smart ass comments nothing all right all right and you especially can't say anything about Jews oh Jesus why did you just cut off my bars Cartman no Jew jokes all you have to do is keep your mouth shut and you've got 40 bucks can you do it I can't believe how cold it is out here could be tough but I'll give it a shot all right oh he's such a cutie well let's bring him out here's Eric Cartman whatever whatever M my mom can't control me ask her go act her Miss Carman what does your son like to do oh he loves playing with his Clyde frog and Wellington bear man we're pretending remember sex and drugs oh I mean sex and drugs whatever whatever I do what I want oh whatever you ain't tough ho I run with gangs oh yeah I run with 12 gangs and we only commit hate crimes whatever I'll do what I want whatever you ain't bad you ain't nothing I ditch class and go shoot heroin in a school bathroom whatever I ran for Congress and won then I had sex with an intern killed her and hit her body whatever I'll do what I W stay away from us stren what is that it's my mom's taser I took it from her purse oh you know what this makes perfect sense a guy moves into South Park with the ferris wheel in his backyard and Kyle has to see a problem with it Mr Jefferson's the best thing that's happened to this town in a long time and if you mess this up so help me God I will rip your balls off with my bare hands with my bare hands godamn you [Applause] [Music] hey I can't eat no more you have to here have some more mayonnaise Chef we need more food I'm running out Children damn it Butters keep eating or else I'll kick your ass till you're dead than Kenny dude that isn't cool you shouldn't joke about Kenny being dead enough time hasn't passed so how long until we can joke about it 22.3 years that's how long it takes for something tragic to become funny that's a long time to wait I can't eat no more I just keep puking it up then eat your puke no oh come on Japanese girls do it God I'm not going to make it I'm not going to make it oh and I hope one day to be an investment banker must find it need $4 okay why don't you go ahead and take a seat Kyle Cate concentration is the key to succeeding in my class maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp ah damn it damn it damn it [Music] Cartman do you guys smell that it smells bad out here too I'm starting to think this whole town smells like doodo yeah well you see that's why they call it aspin how about we sing Kyle's mom is a stupid [ __ ] in D Minor I told you not to call my mom a [ __ ] Cartman cos's a [ __ ] she's a big fat [ __ ] she's the biggest [ __ ] in the whole world she's a stupid [ __ ] if there ever was a [ __ ] she's a [ __ ] to all the boys and girls shut up car Mr Hanky Monday shees a [ __ ] on Tuesday she a [ __ ] and Wednesday through Saturday shees a [ __ ] then on Sunday just to be different she's a super kingeh Beach golly that isn't very nice I'd sure like to teach him a lesson have you ever met my friend C mom she's the biggest [ __ ] in the whole world she's a [ __ ] she has stupid hair she's a [ __ ] [ __ ] bch [Music] it's okay Eric you think you can your ideas about heal and nutrition should be somehow interfering with that you dictate what foods I can e Eric Eric I can't can't all right that penis butt didn't lose weight eating sub sandwiches he lost weight because he ate less of them and extra ex sized yeah it's only in America somebody can become famous just because they go from being a big fat ass to not being a big fat ass oh my God you guys I think I'm having a genius moment yes yes it's coming to me now is that that's diarrhea no don't you see what this all means anybody could do what he did what's to stop someone else from going to say CityWalk and cutting a deal with them say they'll eat nothing but their Chinese food but then eat only a little tiny bit of it and exercise then CityWalk could save their food makes you lose weight that's right St it's a cash car you that's a great idea lose weight and make money I'll tell you this is going to be the greatest thing that Butters has ever done me who do you think I'm talking about Butters Joy do it no no I thought you meant you you're the fat one I can't lose weight Butters because I'm not fat I'm big bon you can't slim down bones stupid all right can I take your order excuse me what would you like sir just can you wait isn't that your job aren't you a waiter [Applause] hey could you turn your phone down kid this is a restaurant it just so happens I have anxiety that means I have trouble being around [ __ ] who won't leave me alone oh hello Eric shut up I have anxiety Hey kid Hey kid I'm on my phone you're about to get hit by a car all right that's it everyone stop stop right now listen up people I have anxiety that means I'm in my shell and have a hard time expressing myself I find it difficult to engage with others so everyone shut the up because my anxiety is up here right now all right Carin what's so important you had to pull us away from lighting cow crap on fire oh you guys you're not going to believe it what guess what I have sitting in my backyard a trampoline better better a boat better a better well what Cartman 33 aborted fetuses oh yes oh you bet I love all the stuff you said about how our school president never does anything and how she's changing everything yes well now you can read about all these things I've said buts take this copy of my book cool thanks that'll be $5 oh okay what the hell do you think you're doing ay book signing I look through your stupid book it's 540 pages of ripping on Wy and calling her a [ __ ] I do not directly say she's a [ __ ] Wendy tester bger has proven time and time again that she will do anything to pleasure her vagina whether it is the school football team or the janitors on their break Wendy spends her time as president on her knees or on her back taking the old in out for hours on end you didn't read the rest dude or does she or does she see that's a question I'm asking questions that I've called for Wendy to come on my show and defend herself but she won't do it bring it on Aon hard you scared of the competition I'm just as poor and stupid as you I'm going to drive and I'm going to go fast and I'm going to turn to the left sometimes can we just get back to the subject of racing please bring it on Dan you [Music] dumb [Music] m [Applause] m

Channel: Next of Ken

Views: 1,885

Keywords: south park, eric cartman, best moments, top 10, series, eric cartman best jokes, eric cartman compilation, eric cartman best moments, next of ken, adult swim, whose line is it anyway, sitcom, animation, rick and morty, rick sanchez, cartoon, jokes, eric cartman ai cover, eric cartman singing, two and a half men, friends, new south park, south park episodes, south park reaction, kenny south park

Id: hwPMRku7jGs

Length: 9min 17sec (557 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 05 2024