11 Things The Bible Bans, But You Do Anyways! | in5d.com

hi this is Greg from in 5d and today we're gonna be talking about the 11 things the Bible bans but you do anyways let me clarify that I was raised as a Methodist my parents are Christians and I have a lot of Christian friends that being said I'm a stick I believe in an all loving higher source just not the bipolar God that's in the Bible who's all loving one minute then kills everyone except Noah and his family the next minute so without further ado here are the 11 things the Bible bans but you do anyways number one round haircuts the Bible says you shall not round off the side growth of your heads nor farm the edges of your beard so I guess Moe from the three stooges is already in hell number two football this deals with the original version of football when it was played with a pigskin in Leviticus 11 verse 8 when he was discussing pigs it says you shall not eat their flesh nor touch their carcasses they are unclean to you and that goes for bacon ham and sausage so if you're eating any of those then you're probably going to hell number three fortune-telling Leviticus 1931 reads do not turn to mediums or spiritists do not seek them out or be defiled by them I am the Lord your God so what's the penalty for that once again Leviticus 20 verse 6 as for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists to play the harlot after them I will also set my face against that person and will cut them off from among his people well I can see in the stars that this Leviticus dude isn't much fun to hang out with and seeing how the Bible is completely written in Astro theology it makes perfect sense that the church doesn't want you to look into astrology but it's okay for them to do so number 4 pulling out back in the day of the Bible there wasn't any condoms or sponges so they couldn't get banned but pulling out did and that's in Genesis 38 verses 9 and 10 and I knew that the offspring would not be his so when he went into his brother's wife he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother but what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord so he took his life also you know that story is messed up right from the beginning so this dude goes to his brother's wife and has sex with her but because he didn't want his brother to have any children he shot his wad onto the ground you can't make this crap up moving on number five tattoos once again Leviticus gives us some more by saying in Leviticus 19 verse 28 you shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves I am the Lord apparently this includes a tattoo of Jesus a Christian across a butterfly flowers so on and so forth number 6 polyester or any other fabric blends the Bible doesn't want you to wear polyester and neither do I take a wild guess who wrote this one if you said Leviticus then you would be correct Leviticus 19 verse 19 reads you are to keep my statutes you shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle he shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together guys this includes speedos so please no speedos number seven divorce half the people who get married and then divorced are going to hell in a handbasket in mark 10 verse 8 it is written you are no longer two but one flesh and mark 10 verse 9 says what therefore God has joined together let no man separate and to just make it perfectly clear in mark 10 verses 11 and 12 they go on to say that and he who said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man she is committing adultery Wow I am going to have lots of great company in this proverbial hell number eight and I am not making this up the Bible forbids letting people without testicles into church so it doesn't matter if you've been castrated or lost one or both of your balls to cancer the Bible doesn't want to know because in Deuteronomy 23 verse 1 it says a man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the Assembly of the Lord unless you give the church lots of money to forgive your sins number 9 wearing gold this pertains only to women especially those who wear name-brand clothing have braided hair and wear wedding rings in 1 Timothy 2 verse 9 it says likewise I want woman to adorn themselves with proper clothing modestly and discreetly not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments see you in Hell number 10 shellfish leviticus the man who has no fun said in chapter 11 verse 10 but whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among the teeming life of the water and among all the living creatures that are in the water they are detestable things to you hmm okay and number 11 the Bible bans your wife defending your life in a fight by grabbing your attackers genitals you can't make this up it's amazing that two verses were actually dedicated to this and in Deuteronomy 25 verses 11 through 12 it goes on to say if two men a man and his country man are struggling together and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals then he shall cut off her hand you shall not show pity so ladies if your husband or boyfriend is getting mugged feel free to kick him in the nads so how many people are gonna join me in the proverbial hell leave your comments below this video that's it for now this is Greg from n5d

Channel: in5d

Views: 656,767

Rating: 3.8001022 out of 5

Keywords: church, bible, religion, priest, pastor, bishop, roman, catholic, pope, cardinal, altar, altarboy, ban, bans, banned, jordan, maxwell, christmas, esoteric, in5d, 2012, death, spirit, spiritual

Id: LT9Cs_rBHnY

Length: 6min 56sec (416 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 16 2012