[Music] hey kids let's talk about babies for a second now I think we can all agree generally babies suck at most things either literally or figuratively they have almost no life skills whatsoever however as it turns out babies do actually have some traits that make them Superior to adults in certain isolated aspects in this video I'm going to tell you guys about a few first is the Bab B non-d drowning reflex if babies under the age of 6 months are put underwater they'll instinctively hold their breath additionally their heartbeat begins to slow down as soon as they're submerged which allows them to use much less oxygen and as a result stay alive much longer than the average person as we all know babies get themselves into bad situations all the time soon as your back is turned they're off trying to lick another socket or whatever so this reflex probably evolve from back in the day right mom's off picking berries baby wanders off ends up in the middle of a lake and somehow this whole reflex thing gives the village more time to you know go get a raft and fish them out next is a baby's grip they're able to support their entire body weight with just one hand which is more than a lot of adults can do of course it's kind of cheating cuz they only weigh as much as a baby but it's still kind of impressive this trait is shared by Apes whose babies instinctively cling on to the backs of their mothers so that way if she gets a little courageous swinging from Branch to Branch the baby doesn't just go flying anyway because of this it's speculated that babies actually got their firm grasp from our ape ancestors millions of years ago and it's only a bit later in life when your genetics go oh yeah legs neat and ditch the whole grabby thing next babies are also very seductive not in the sense of like strutting around and thigh highs making dude's eyes bulge not that seductive but just in the sense of hey I uh I like looking at this thing we should uh we should keep it alive for a while here's an example if people saw a 5-year-old on the streets rolling around in a pile of its own [ __ ] they'd be like H what a scumbag but if an infant did it people would still be like oh man little guy I want to take you home clean you up put you in a little hat yeah it has to do with a baby's facial features like their large forehead and eyes which set off a bunch of baby caring instincts in our brains causing us to perceive cuteness it's only when they hit like two or three when that all goes down to [ __ ] lastly babies have a surprisingly good concept of morality according to a study by Yale University's infant cognition Center babies are born with an innate sense of right and wrong here's how the study went right so first they put on a puppet show for the baby with these two rabbit dolls and they made one of them act nice and the other one act like a dick then at the end of the show the babies were offered either puppet and in almost every case the babies took the nice one and you might say a strong grip on morality doesn't qualify as a superpower personally I disagree people are terrible at keeping their basic sense of right and wrong unless their society maintains it for them let me give an example a few days ago in the Philippines the president of the entire country basically said hey we should just start murdering every drug addict alive right now and this isn't seen as insane over there no millions of Philip os are now on board with this it is [ __ ] you see babies lack the mental capacity to justify atrocities with [ __ ] like it's about the greater good you know they have no Prejudice they just see people as people and honestly I think we could all learn a thing or two from that not to get all George Carlin on you guys or anything anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and thank you for [Music] watching [Music] this video is sponsored by [Music] skillshare hey kids time to alienate 23.9% of the United States for my potential audience cuz today we're talking popes now don't get me wrong the modern papacy is a great thing just a genuinely virtuous man being elected to govern and set an example for Christians everywhere that's awesome but back in the day not so see in the Middle Ages the church was one of the greatest powers in the Western World having massive influence over monarchs and laymen alike and as we know with great power comes great Tom fery here's some of the less wholesome popes that history has to offer Pope Steven VI 6 assumed the pontificate in May of 896 during a time of great instability for the papacy where rulers and families of all different shapes and sizes were vying for influence over the Catholic Church as such successive popes from the spirit often had different ideas about how things should be run Steven for example didn't much care for Pope fosis the guy before last why uh it's complicated even if I could wrap my head around all this it' probably be boring as hell so just take it on good faith that Steve had a lot of beef with fosis so much beef or as we call it paple bull that Steven couldn't even be happy that the dude was already dead so he had the 8-month-old corpse of fosis dug up dressed up in Pope clothes sat down on a throne and literally put on trial with a deacon appointed to give all his responses for him so you thought you could get away from the law with that little dying stunt of yours well tell me Mr thrombosis did you violate canon law commit perjury and pretend to be a bishop when you weren't yes pasta ful I am a fool I've heard all I need to hear this court finds you guilty and everything you did as Pope we legally declare to be fake and dumb and stupid and dumb now throw him in the river what the river can can he do that see the hat that means I'm pop p o o p PP you better three-point that [ __ ] into the Bry deep right quick or I'm going to race hell metaphorically so they throw him in the river this whole thing caused an uproar among Formosa supporters and after formosa's corpse was allegedly seen performing Miracles at the riverbank Steven ended up being overthrown imprisoned and executed by strangulation the body now slimy and disgusting was fished out of the Tyber and reentered in St Peter's Basilica where it rest to this day next we'll talk about John the 12 this guy already looks like one of my characters why don't we just uh yeah there we go this guy ascended to the throne when he was just 18 years old which is insane if I was elected world's biggest hat wearer at that age you better believe things would get real unpayable real quick I'm talking gambling hookers setting fires and toasting to the devil and when you know it these are all things John the 12th did it said that he took the sacred Palace and literally made it into a wh house matter of fact while researching the guy I stumbled across this list of sexually active popes this is a real Wikipedia article take a hike toilet paper orientation Daddy's got a new favorite johon is featured prominently on this list of course he had a thing for widows for some reason personally I'm not big on weepy old hags I'm more of a Carefree young hag type of guy but to each their own he also banged his niece a bunch which not the most virtuous act but you know Middle Ages and bloodline [ __ ] whatever his Playboy lifestyle eventually caught up to him though leading to the Scot of Rome where everyone got together to talk about what a piece of [ __ ] he is so they could kick him off the throne besides all the deviancy there was a lot of things they had problems with for one someone once offered JN some money to ordain a 10-year-old as a bishop and he was just like all right I would have done it for free honestly look how big those robes are on him that's hilarious he also had a deacon ordained in a horse stable just like oh for [ __ ] sake all right let's get this over with uh shouldn't we be doing this in like a church listen bucko if it's good enough for Jesus to be born in it's good enough for you to have your little Cardinal party no sorry not Cardinal he's just a deacon now if you keep running running your mouth y aren't he also like going on hunting trips now and then generally considered to be something popes don't do although my suspicion is that they were just tired of cleaning his big stupid camo hat every time probably his worst act though was putting on a helmet followed closely in second by the time one of his subdeacons got on his nerves so he literally cut off his dick and murdered him so between all this and some conflicts with otter the first of the Holy Roman Empire Jon was uncanonical ousted in 963 except as soon as Otto left Rome nobody was there to pressure him off physically anymore so John was like lol just kidding rounded up all his groupies kicked the new pope off the throne and continued his role like nothing happened by early 964 but just a few months later fate caught up with John and he died the way he lived committing adultery now let's be real we all have our little guilty pleasures in life some people like a nice bag of Cheetos others like scented candles or poorly drawn educational videos Alexander I 6 like watching hores [ __ ] according to chronicler Johan burkhard he would specifically arrange for his stallions to be introduced to Mays and heat outside his Palace and he'd stand up on his balcony to watch him violently mate which just tickled in pink for some [ __ ] reason and he'd laugh uproariously during the entire spectacle he also wants threw a party in the palace called the banquet of chestnuts also referred to as the joust of [ __ ] wait a minute hores jousting horses banging was dyslexia a thing back then no but during the banquet Alex Ander had 50 of Rome's finest raggedy harlots line up and stri down for him in his gas which by the way included two of his children which by the way he had many children but at this point hardly a concern guests began throwing chestnuts at the ladies who got down on their hands and knees and scrambled frantically like the cook at Denny's when I held him at gunpoint trying to collect as many as they could after this went on for a while Alexander was like all right kiddos game time whoever can bang the most broads before the night's over wins Rome's finest silks and the only is that anybody who makes a joke about nutting on someone's chest gets disqualified it's too easy this is all according to that one Johan guy mind you some secondary sources differ pretty significantly on the more luid details of all this so do take it with a grain of salt but at the same time this guy was the official record taker for the ceremonies he was involved with so it seems equally likely to me that the other guys just wanted to save a bit of face but who knows in the end primary sources are usually the most reputable source of information after all what better way to learn about stuff than from people who have directed experience in the subject that's why you need to try skillshare skillshare is an online learning community with over 25,000 classes in design business technology and more premium membership gives you unlimited access to highquality classes on mustow topics so you can improve your skills unlock new opportunities and do the work you love let's say you have some kind of grand goal you want to achieve like say starting your own papacy and taking over the world skill shares got all the resources you'd ever need to bring that goal to fruition you got 10 ways to boost your natural charisma very important with any new religion how do the wealthy create tax exempt wealth that's a given basics of balloon twisting just cuz they say children are the most important ones to indoctrinate you know the whole Joe Camel Theory Etc join the more than 7 million people already learning on skillshare today with a special offer just for my viewers the first 500 people who visit the link in the description will get two months of unlimited access to the 25,000 Plus classes on skill ship for absolutely free so please start filling up that void in your skull you call a brain today anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and thank you for [Music] watching hey kids let me talk to you about dog breeding nowadays dogs are mostly around just to be a cute companion right so breeding is gone from functionality to cuteness and that's fine as long as it stays within the bounds of nature but that's not enough for today's breeder so how do you make a dog cuter apparently by giving it disgusting genetic deformities and Chances Are You The Listener agree with that you just don't know you do let me show you what I mean see this this is a relatively normal dog notice the snout the eyes the shape of the head not too far gone from the wolves that today's dogs come from now let me take you through some other breeds first is the bull terrier 100 years ago still look pretty normal right now here's today's version Jesus who needs snouts right let's just give it a long continuous Boomerang shaped head with two tiny holes at the end seriously it looks like two can Sam is trying to fit inside a dog costume and look at its eyes they're permanently pointed up at the sky as if to say God why did you let me become this please kill me do you guys remember Spuds McKenzie the old Bud Light mascot well I just realized why they chose a bull terrier of all dogs it's because he looked like his mom drank nothing but Bud Light for her entire pregnancy next up is the Pug I'll probably get some hate for this one but I don't care they've been breed specifically to look like they've been smashed in the Goddamn face with a frying pan and because of this because of their fact that their skull is shaped like a [ __ ] tunic can they can barely breathe their whole lives ever been around a pug constantly no matter the temperature or the weather they sit there going and people think this [ __ ] is cute if my baby came out with a flat nose hair lip cylindrical head and no neck going I'd be like Jesus [ __ ] put it back in it's clearly not done yet next is the doxen now there is no excuse for this one the head's fine right but the body good God it's got a torso shaped like a God damn door stop with those pointless legs just kind of stapled on now it's been a little while since I reminded you what a normal dog looks like so here now let me go into Photoshop real quick and do all the changes necessary to make this dog look like a doxen look at that that's not okay why even have legs at this point might as well just keep going until it's just a drumstick from the neck down and there's no reason it's just one day someone was like well people like dogs and people like ferrets so why don't we make some Chimera Abomination halfway in between the two and see what happens my least favorite breed though out of all of them it's just straight up [ __ ] in every way a testament to humankind's NeverEnding Corruption of the natural world I'm talking about the Chihuahua it's like somebody took a normal dog and boiled away every aspect except for anger and neuroticism leaving this tiny hell creature behind and this is one of the nicer pictures I could find take a look at this someone call a priest and we let these things inhabit our homes this poor woman's going to wake up with her [ __ ] nose chewed off and just be like Oh Mr Wiggles was a little hungry this morning wasn't he meanwhile the dogs are sitting there like blood lost the only time they're not being needlessly aggressive towards people it's when they're off pissing [ __ ] and vomiting all over their surroundings and you would think such a small dog would at least produced manageable waste but much like the creature itself the Small Things it does expel are straight up toxic it's like some of the Chihuahua's penup hatred for the Mortal plane manifest itself in every dump it takes I would rather clean up a full-grown man's [ __ ] from my floor than wipe up the septic nightmare that is Chihuahua squirts the only good thing about owning a Chihuahua is that if it ever gets rabies it'll be fine cuz you won't be able to tell the god damn difference it'll still be sitting there business as usual so that's my little rant about the monstrosities that live right beneath our noses I'm samonella and thank you for [Music] watching this video is sponsored by [Music] skillshare [Music] hey kids you're probably familiar with at least a few characters whose obsessive penny pinching truly knows no bounds yes from Ebenezer Scrooge to Scrooge McDuck nobody Hoards money quite like misers but these guys aren't the most miserly misers out there not by a long shot first of all look at their top hats their extravagant use of glasses their luxurious chairs these things are worth their weight in Precious shekels no true Miser would waste their wealth on such Frills second of all these guys AR real they're fictional characters Scrooge McDuck does not exist I don't care what CNN says it's all liberal conspiracy [ __ ] I mean look at this article by The Huffington Post you mean to tell me that this picture isn't photoshopped ridiculous but you know who was real one Daniel dancer of London England born in 1716 Daniel's father died at a young age leaving behind a large agricultural estate for Daniel to oversee when it was first inherited the property brought in a few hundred a year which doesn't sound like much today but given that a general laborer could be expected to make around 19 per year in 1710 it's safe to say that danzer could afford to live a fairly lavish lifestyle off his passive income alone but Dan was like you know all this food and clothing and stuff is all right but you know what I really like owning money say how much does a pound cost well that's a complicated question Daniel can currency really be said to have intrinsic value some economists believe that tldr please they cost a pound Jesus that's a lot I better start saving thus began one of the most intentionally Frugal Lifestyles history has ever seen let me walk you through a few of dancers's day-to-day habits first of all soap don't even think about it the closest thing to bathing that Daniel did was during the summer months when once or twice a week he'd wait into the nearby Pond and scrub his face with a handful of sand say what you will but what he lacked in deodorization he certainly made up for an exfoliation admittedly all of London probably wreaked a high hell back then so while Daniel smell might not have tipped people off to his eccentricity his clothes almost certainly did on a good day he'd be seen in one of his coats which were homemade Patchwork Abominations of various garments that dancer found on the streets in local dust heaps looking like a walking dementia patient sewing Circle similarly all his shoes were either scavenged or frankensteined out of other pairs of shoes he already owned with the whole ensemble being barely held together with haphazardly tied bands made of the hay grown on his estate in fact a lot of the time he ditched normal clothes Al together and just wear the hay to his credit in his youth Daniel was known to purchase a whole two shirts per year as his clothing expense but one day he looked in the mirror and said Daniel you're bleeding funds like a stuck pig it's time to grow up and get your act together and cut his budget to only one shirt per year one of the few people that Daniel associated with regularly was his sister whom he lived with believe it or not she shared in a lot of Daniel's tight-fisted habits and it definitely showed she was described as quote having more the appearance of a walking dungill than one of the fair sex couldn't have said it better myself honestly dancer prepared all of his food for the upcoming week ahead of time consisting of only 14 hard dumplings and 3 lbs of beef stretched out over the entire 7-Day period every day he'd eat only a single meal that was basically equivalent to two wads of dried out dough and one and a half quarter pounder patties from McDonald's he kept this habit up for years without fail except for one time when he stumbled upon a fully intact rotting sheep carcass during his daily stroll he was like good Lord this is just obscene who would leave a perfectly good pile of arguably edible meat in organs just sitting around like this so he dragged the thing home and made him and his sister a nice big pile of spoiled mutton pies which they subsisted off of for several weeks that's a real life hack right there who needs Refrigeration if it's already rancid am I right despite Daniel's rabid fear of any unnecessary spending he did own a dog named Bob that he was quite fond of at this point I'm almost certain that dancer just decided to base his entire life off of lenum by No Effects which is pretty incredible considering lenium wasn't even invented for another hundred years anyway though one day Daniel's neighbor came came to complain about how Bob had been harassing his sheep So Daniel said don't worry boy I ain't going to kill you but we don't want a lawsuit on our hands do we no we don't what would we do if a lawyer came around here huh that's right and make his children watch yeah so he decided to take the dog to the local faer which is basically a blacksmith that specializes in horseshoes and the like hey could you make my dog like not have teeth anymore uh what kind of business you think I'm running here boy come on man you filed down hes hooves for a living teeth are just tiny mouth Hooves that's close sorry buddy but close only counts in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades well got me there say what's a hand grenade none of my sources say what happened to the dog after his untimely nubbing but I do know Dan never got sued so I guess the operation was a success Daniel's sister passed away in 1766 leaving him so distraught that he actually went out of his way to buy morning clothes for her funeral and by that I mean he bought a pair of secondhand black stockings and that's it still that's a big deal when it comes to the likes of dancer at this point the only person close to a friend that dancer had was a woman known as lady Tempest she was so influential over him that she was actually able to convince him to buy get this a one shilling hat this was quite an accomplishment as Daniel's last hat was older than half of you at 14 years old what I I'm not you don't you of course the next time lady Tempest went to hang out with with him he was still wearing his old disgusting hat when questioned about the one he bought he goes oh yeah that fril old thing sold it for a six P profit super easy too I tell you forget house flipping hat flipping is going to be the cool new thing pretty soon lo and behold 250 years later he was [Music] wrong Daniel died at the ripe old age of 78 which seems pretty shocking considering the whole not using soap eating rotten food thing but I guess his near total isolation from other people up for that when it came to preventing illness though he never ended up shelling out any of the massive hord of wealth that he accumulated over this time his efforts weren't completely in Vain by the time he passed away Daniel's estate was now pulling in about 3,000 in yearly net revenue 10 times the amount it earned when he first inherited it so moral of the story parsimony has its place while it's good to save money don't torture yourself just for the sake of a few bucks next time your parent or significant other insists on turning down the thermostat or keeping the windows up to save gas just say hey are we human or are we dancer but you know what else is more valuable than money knowledge that's why you need to try skillshare.com skillshare is an online learning community with over 23,000 classes in technology design business and more premium membership gives you unlimited access to highquality classes on mustow topics so you can improve your skills unlock new opportunities and do the work you love want to learn how to budget your life without turning into a filthy carcass eating loaner try the core four of personal finance you'll learn all the money management SK skills that really should be taught in school but aren't in no time if you're looking for something a little more ambitious it's never too early or too late to try your hand at entrepreneurship with some of these classes you can turn that one genius business idea that you and your friends had that one night into reality join the millions of students already learning on skillshare today with a special offer just for my viewers where you can get two months of skillshare for just 9 to sign up go to sk. sh4 again you yes you with the eyebrows go to skl Dosh SL sam4 to get 2 months of unlimited access to over 23,000 classes for less than a dollar technically act now for this special offer and start learning today till next time I'm Sam manella and thank you for [Music] watching hey kids guess what you could be a freak of nature and not even know it yep not every deformity is visible to the untrained eye today we're going to talk about a few physical defects that you The Listener might have first is cytis inversus so cus inversus is when a person is born with some or all of their organs mirrored along the vertical axis this can range from a heart that's on the right instead of the left to the entire body cavity being flipped around the condition is pretty rare affecting about one in every 10,000 people according to Wikipedia plenty of people live their lives with this condition without knowing about it considering that even little kids know that the heart is supposed to be on the left I find this a little hard to believe but who knows at any rate the first doctor visit where you find all this out sure would be interesting wa I uh I think your testicles are on backwards what what hold on hold on maybe I'm just holding them weird let me just no yeah they're definitely on backwards I uh I don't follow it's not that hard a concept the left one's on the right and the right one's on the left that's all oh okay does that does that mean anything well I mean I I wouldn't want to be the guy with the backwards nut sack but uh that's just me what what do you mean just you know kind of weird isin it what is weird about it how are they different can you see it can you feel it is it dangerous look I'm a doctor not a cosmetologist all right next is Bell Clapper deformity this is a condition that affects one out of every 125 males so in a normal nut sack the nuts are anchored to the sack in a certain way that limits their Mobility but if you have Bell Clapper deformity this anchor isn't present meaning your nads are free to swing around much more independently than normal being that we as males don't often compare our scrotal Dynamics with other men most people aren't aware of their deformity at least not at first however having free floating testes comes with a significantly higher chance of suffering from testicular torsion which is where your sperm tube gets all twisted around as a result of rigorous exercise or other mechanical means this condition is extremely painful and often times requires a visit to the hospital in order to prevent that nut from literally dying from hypoxia wait a minute these aren't on backwards they're just all twisted up what fix them yeah I'm trying try harder hey you ever try to untangle a pair of earbuds through a plastic bag this is like that except sweatier cut me some slack all right don't get your balls in a Twist more of a Twist next is the accessory spleen so most of us have at least heard of the spleen for those of you that don't know a lot about it basically it's a softball-sized organ right around here that helps out your bloodstream and immune system but apparently one out of every 10 people have not one but two spleens sadly the second spleen isn't another full-sized organ but rather a little enclosed ball of spleen tissue about the size of a peanut &m since it is self-enclosed it's technically considered another organ but because of its small size it's not all that beneficial to have one or anything it's just kind of there hey I haven't seen you around before are you new on campus oh yeah I just got here a couple days ago well hey man welcome to UCLA if you want I can Wrangle Rock uh what is that it's a good show oh that's Toby he's uh he's my accessory do you listen to The Offspring is it is it talking to me do you listen to The Offspring uh well I I mean I used to when I was younger not uh not so much nowadays well uh you're you're uh you're you're going to you're going to you're you're going to you're going to go far kid I'm uh I'm going to go now do you think he got the reference yeah Toby I'm sure he did finally we have fetal alcohol Spectrum Disorder the only reason I'm including this one is because of something that happened in health class during my freshman year of high school our teacher was telling us all about how you should never drink during pregnancy she also said that between 2 and 5% of people in the United States have some form of fasd then she goes looking around the room I do see a couple people that have the distinguishing facial features not going to name names of course and then she just continued on with her lesson as if she didn't just drop a huge bombshell on all of us so needless to say this scared the [ __ ] out of me cuz although I consider myself a little bit on the intellectual side for all I know I could have been lined up to be the next Einstein and then my wouldbe genius brain just got Jager bombed into a merely above average one so as soon as I got home I pulled up a chart that showed all the distinguishing facial features for fasd and compared it in the mirror thankfully my filtrum was distinct and my upper lip was plump so I'm in the clear as I know now statistically speaking though there's a good chance that at least a few of the moms of the people watching this video are not the angels that they make themselves out to be so you know food for thought it really is a curse though learning about this chart here because the features are subtle enough that those who are affected still look normal to the average person but once you're on the lookout for them next thing you know you're on Facebook your friend posted pictures of her kid all the comments are like oh my God he's so cute what a perfect little guy and you're the only person there who knows otherwise and anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and thank you for [Music] [Music] watching hey kids so we all know that as far as living things go humans win not even a contest but it turns out if you hop to the next genome over and look real carefully you can actually see a basic version of a lot of the stuff that makes us so great here's some stories about what chimpanzees can get down to in the right context talking about chimp Tales now North Korea's pongyang Central Zoo has a colorful history from its humble beginnings as literally just 50 Badgers in a fence to the parot they taught to recite poetry praising Kim e s to being the only place in Pyongyang where you can look had a dog legally it seems the only thing that's remained constant throughout this Zoo's life is that it's [ __ ] depressing fortunately both workers and animals alike found ways to cope one of which is smoking aelia the chimp is currently 13 years old and is one of the shining stars of Pyongyang Zoo purely for her ability to burn through over a pack a day now I like a good oldfashioned smoke and chimp as much as the next guy oras most zookeepers would probably try to talk her out to something so unhealthy the North Korean ones actually gave her supplies just like huh feeling trapped welcome to the club pal her skills are actually pretty impressive not only can she use a later but in a pin she also knows that old schoolyard trick of lighting one sigy with the other just a shame that her mind wasn't put towards something a little more healthy or productive now you know what that's pretty dope actually I'm happy with that flashback to 1954 a chimp named Conga was born in the London Zoo little did anybody know this ape was a prodigy out of curiosity one of his zookeepers named Desmond Morris decided to give Congo a pencil and a piece of cardboard to see what he'd do almost immediately he started drawing some rudimentary lines and shapes Morris was like w and decided to let him try painting on for size and what he saw was incredible Congo created these beautiful renderings with a blend of realism and self-expression that would make even the Great Master stare in awe no just [ __ ] with you they're garbage but for a non-human there's still something to be appreciated here cono had at least a very basic sense of composition like you can see there's some balance to the images matter of fact when his Handler would make shapes on one side of the page Congo would deliberately mark up the other side to maintain some kind of symmetry he also had an artist sense of self- entitlement cuz when Arizona tried to take away a picture before Congo thought it was finished he'd literally go ape [ __ ] all thrown a fit and screaming till they gave it back but hey painting done by a chimp you know who likes pointless Novelties like that the incredibly rich in 2005 three of conos paintings were up for auction next to works by two obscure little artists known as Andy Warhol and Pierre AUST Renoir and while the two actual artist pieces went completely unsold these three Beauties got picked up for the scant price of over $225,000 and the guy was like wow I felt something for a second there I really like the watermark on this by the way like hm this is my painting done by a chimp anyway next we have this beast called Washo washa was the first non-human creature to learn to communicate through sign language that's right eat [ __ ] Coco prior experiments in chimp communication had attempted to teach him some basic spoken language but after realizing that chimps are physically incapable of making most of the noises we do they decided signing would be the better option while show was rais in an environment similar to what a human child would experience complete with toys clothes chores and even being allowed to sit at the dinner table in spite of what the Bible clearly says about that the scientist raising Washo made sure to only communicate an American Sign Language around her in the hopes of establishing a true conversational Rapport initially they took a traditional pavlovian approach by rewarding proper use of a new sign with food and tickles but there were a couple problems with this firstly the simple action reward setup meant that Washo didn't have to really understand the words she was sign signing same way parot saying I love you in a YouTube video I dozle with those cold unfeeling eyes secondly washa would break into a laughing fit whenever they tickled her to the point where the lesson would be essentially over so the researchers abandoned this and instead just let her learn through observation of her caretaker signing with much better results even in the total absence of reward stimuli and the only downside was that the job title of designated chimp Tickler ceased to exist in total Washo learned around 350 individual signs in ASL and she'd even used these to formulate novel phrases for new objects like one time she wanted to talk about a thermos but didn't know what a thermos was she goes h metal cup drink hey SC a similar story comes from a chimp named Lucy who was raised by one Dr Maurice tamberlin and his wife Jane the tale of Lucy's life is why this woman is now officially the third most famous woman named Jean who worked with Apes in the same v as was show the pair attempted to gain some insight into Lucy's weird chimp by raising her like you would a human you know dressing herself using silverware making tea looking at magazines pretending she knows what a word is all that jazz but as Lucy matured things took an ugly turn for one since she was brought up in a basically human environment she eventually discovered the time- tested human pastime of alcohol the pair would leave bottles of gin around their home with Lucy which I don't know how youd make this mistake twice but it was apparently a common occurrence for them to leave her alone for too long and come back like uh honey I think the monkey's [ __ ] wasted again another one of Hobbies was sculpting crude human heads out of poop her own poop to be clear they also left some copies of play Girl magazine around for Lucy to flip through which she became very fond of so fond in fact that she was caught multiple times uh having relations with the vacuum cleaner I don't understand the mechanics of it cuz no Source I found ever went into detail and believe me I wanted to know as much as you do all I know is that all things considered some pretty exemplary tool use there so the pair saw this and they were like all right we got to get this chimp blade and fast but the problem was Lucy was conversing with people eating with people flicking the old chimp Bean to people so it's not a stretch to think that Lucy thought she was people so imagine you're people and you get thrown into an enclosure with a full-grown horny male chimp you'd have a [ __ ] panic attack and that's just what Lucy did as the years went on Lucy got more and more violent regularly trashing the place to get out of the frustration of not being able to comprehend what was so fundamentally unnatural about her existence finally the couple had had enough and decided to take Lucy to a primate rehability itation Center in The Gambia with the hopes that she could be forced to acclimate to primate life she could barely cope with it at first getting real depressed and hardly associating with the other Apes which you'd be depressed too if you had to give up a life of American luxury complete with booze and vacuum fornicating to go live with chimps in the wild but with the help of a graduate student named Janice Lucy eventually came to accept her fate and although she'd never M with another of her kind she ended up getting along with her troop well enough about a year after leaving the rehab center Janice came back to visit and Lucy gave her a warm and break before waddling back to the rest of the chimps a then Lucy got poached like a [ __ ] egg which kind of puts a damper on the whole happy ending but you know whatever so if there's one lesson to be gained from all this it's that the best way to learn something is to be immersed in it and to make it part of you while treats are good for making dogs do backflips true comprehension comes from integrating new things into your daily life and what better way to do that than with some free audio books sponsor time listening to audiobooks inspires us motivates us even brings us closer and there's no better place to listen than audible if you want something kind of like what I do except actually funny and well informed you should check out the infinite monkey cage think Ricky DV show except half Comedians and half actual scientists it's great you can get your first audiobook free along with two selected audible original titles when you start your 30-day trial just visit audible.com samonella or text samonella to 500500 to get started again go to audible.com m o n l a or text s m o n e L to 500500 to try Audible for free Link in the description anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and I fell down the stairs this morning this video is sponsored by [Music] skillshare hey kids John wilk's Booth Lee Harvey Oswald hit all people who gained massive notoriety by killing one of History's famous leaders but there are two Americans who committed an equally heinous crime as these three yet their stories are seldom remembered mostly because nobody really cares about the presidents they killed originally I was going to talk about both of them but the video ended up being way too long so today we'll just stick to uh this one I guess Charles J gito was a pretty silly guy and to understand how a guy could be so silly you got to start with his youth gito was born in Freeport Illinois in 1841 his mom had postpartum psychosis and died when he was seven alongside three of his five siblings his dad meanwhile was Mega religious and made a big point out of instilling those values in his son often physically this influence moldered Charles into a boy who sought nothing short of total approval from others and who would react very harshly to any criticism levied upon him as a teen he moved to an Harbor Michigan for high school he tried to get into the University of Michigan but he goofed on the entrance exam so he did what anyone in his situation would do and said well someone much for real life I'm going to join a commune specifically he became part of the Onida community in New York in some aspects this place was a pretty runof-the-mill religious Fellowship from each according to their ability to each according to their need yada yada but there are a couple of things that made it special first off they followed a Doctrine known as Christian perfectionism whereby everyone would strive to live their lives completely free of sin and reach a Divine level of perfection while still on earth now this isn't really unique to Onida but whereas most people would achieve this through staunch dis discipline and careful self-reflection these guys would just get together and take turns roasting the [ __ ] out of each and every member over any minute flaw they could possibly have real great for the psyche they also practiced what was basically an early form of eugenics where aspiring parents would have to submit an application and be judged by the committee on their moral and spiritual fortitude if they were allowed to meate children would be separated from the mom about a year after birth and raised communally in the children's Wing after all wouldn't want any of those hopelessly flawed toddlers to think they're deserving of any affection whatsoever orida also believed in what they called free love which meant that anyone could bang anyone at any time as long as they kept at hetero and exclusive relationships of any kind were actually frowned upon which seems like kind of a weird habit for people trying to 100% FC this whole Christianity thing but whatever but wait you're saying how can you have selective breeding at the same time as extremely unselective breeding aha see that's where male continents comes in under this rule a pair could go at it for as long as they wanted with the caveat that the dude's not allowed to nut pull out or otherwise that way it's not a sin after all as the Bible says if the dick don't spit you must acquit paradoxically no such rule existed for the women in fact not only did the commune believe in female orgasms they actually prioritize them which is like unheard of in the 19th century they'd even have the middle-aged women of the society train the teen boys in the yart of holding in the old pelvic sneeze that way there wouldn't be any chance of conception in case the guy Goofs up as first few tries so anyway young gito joins this whole thing and endured countless blows to his massive yet fragile ego thinking he's at least going to get a piece of this communal action except the criticism towards him wasn't just a formality like it was for others everyone there genuinely [ __ ] hated him on account of the fact that he was a raving neurotic narcissist he never caught a single piece of this allegedly free love and after a while they all started calling him Charles get out in the hopes that he'd leave this is real and after five long years of this abuse Gau finally finally got the hint and moved to New Jersey he tried starting a newspaper themed around the Onida religion called The Daily theocrat except nobody cared so that failed he went back to Onida and tried to sue the place in order to get back pay for all his voluntary unpaid labor while living there but apparently I'm mad but Hurt isn't a valid reason for prosecution so that went nowhere finally said well when your Devotion to God has failed you there's only one path in life left time to become a lawyer he managed to pass an examination to gain admission to the Illinois Bar and subsequently joined law firm in Chicago at the age of 27 where he met his soon toe wife one Annie bun Coro never really got to be a lawyer he only argued in one actual court case most of his time was spent doing bill collection for random clients this job gave him insight into how debtors think and operate which allowed him to turn into quite the con man dodging bills whenever and wherever he saw the opportunity even on the job he'd frequently charge exorbitant contingency fees after the fact upwards of 75% and sometimes you just keep it all and completely ghosted his clients after all what are they going to do send another bill collector well it turns out they did so gito and his wife fled to New York he already ditched law and started getting into politics specifically he wrote and delivered a speech in favor of Horus gley the 1872 Democratic presidential candidate and he somehow got it in his head that if gy won his campaign would be so greatly indebted to him that they'd fulfill his desires to be the Minister of Chile as though a total Rando like him could just you know name a job and it would be his in reality the speech was an incoherent mess heard by next to no one and gy lost by a landslide as the years passed Annie got real sick of living life on the run with a broke as B and Charles was none too keen on her weighing him down either but back in the day you couldn't just divorce someone willy-nilly you needed a valid reason for it so Charles concocted the brilliant scheme of banging a prostitute and then having her testify in court the plan worked with the pair successfully divorcing in 1874 and the only downside was syphilis whoops gito started dabbling in theology again around this time he published a book called The Truth which was almost entirely plagiarized directly from John noes the founder of the United Community but despite being a man of God G was still very much a two-time environment and moved frequently in the dead of night to keep collectors off his tail his brother caught wind to this and wrote him a letter basically saying hey uh maybe you should pay your bills now and then so you can be you know a functioning member of society to which Charles replied and I quote find $7 enclosed stick it up your bung hole and wipe your nose on it and that will remind you of the estimation in which you are held by Charles J toe God damn and to his own brother the madman soon after he got arrested bailed out by his sister lived with her for a few months attacked her with an axe yeah went to DC rambled about religion to anyone who would listen moved to Boston got in a boat accident where everyone in his boat was fine but everyone in the other one [ __ ] died took this as a sign from God moved back to New York and got back into politics in 1880 this time as a republican during this campaign there were two main factions of Republicans known as the stalwarts and the half breeds which sounds like some tolken [ __ ] which we had names like that today now Gau considered himself a stalwart and in a similar vein to his 1872 Venture he wrote a speech to promote stalwart candidate ulyses S Grant who was shooting for his third term but before he got a chance to deliver the speech one James A Garfield took the candidacy completely out of nowhere beating out both factions single-handedly he was like rats how am I going to get power handed to me now so he literally just scribbled out all the references to Grant and replaced them with Garfield and was like yep that'll do it he read this speech all of twice along with handing out copies to the Republican National Committee in reality this really didn't accomplish much but when Garfield managed to win the election gito was like yes that was entirely me Garfield is in my Supreme debt as God is my witness he shall make me a consulate in Vienna or Paris or some place cool like that he went to DC to await his inevitable appointment but obviously nothing happened so he started writing letters a lot of letters when that didn't work he started actually stalking both Garfield and the Secretary of State James Blaine intercepting them in hotel lobbies just being like Oh hey yeah it's me the sole person responsible for your success say how about a Consul ship all right you'll get back to me I get it whoa what a coincidence me again how's that Consul ship coming at first they simply ignored him but eventually Blaine snapped screaming never speak to me again on the Paris console ship as long as you live damn you Garfield I sense a disturbance in the force maybe daylight savings just made Monday an hour longer wow Garfield that was quite the wise crack it's amazing how you manag to keep things fresh year after year burn in hell beige dog at this point gito completely renounce any faith in the current Administration and after a lifetime of clout chasing met only with disappointment he decided Ed his only option was straight up going postal he convinced himself that it was now God's will to remove Garfield from this Mortal plane in order to put his stalwart vice president Chester Allen Arthur into power when he went to buy a revolver he was given the choice between a wood grip and an ivory grip he went with the ivory one for no other reason than he thought it would look cooler in a museum and on July 2nd 1881 he ambushed Garfield at the Baltimore and patomic Railroad Station shooting him twice in the back and mortally wounding him all because he wouldn't give him a job Garfield managed to hang on for 11 weeks before finally dying which sounds like hell today's modern Physicians actually believe that Garfield could have easily survive the incident if it weren't for doctors digging through with unsanitized tools hey modern medicine thanks for not being worse than literally no medicine it means a lot but that didn't stop gito from being formally charged with murder and that's exactly what he wanted matter of fact gito was over the moon taking his new Nationwide infamy as the fame he always deserved his trial was just bananas with Gau hurling obscenities that just about everyone there including his own defense team and formatting his testimony as an epic poem which he recited in full he even dictated an autobiography to the New York Herald which get this he ended with a personal ad for a nice Christian lady under 30 years of age what a baller when the guilty verdict was read he called everybody there low consumate jackasses and on June 30th 1882 gito smiled and waved to his adoring fans as he was walked to the Gallows where he recited a repetitive deranged p he wrote that morning which was performed in a high-pitched falsetto voice since it was written in the point of view of a child he asked for a full Orchestra to play during the reading which I don't have to tell you that went nowhere and promptly thereafter he was hung when The Gallows dropped people were probably like H Jesus it's finally over I just came here for a nice little execution they subject me to all that I want my money back frankly so it just goes to show you can't always get what you want unless that thing is getting everyone to hate you that's extraordinarily easy but for everything else you're going to need a combination of hard work and knowhow while the former must ultimately come from within there's plenty of resources out there for the latter the best of which is a seldom talked about little startup called skillshare sponsor time skillshare is an online learning community with over 25,000 classes in design business technology and more premium membership gives you unlimited access to highquality classes on mustow topics so you can improve your skills unlock new opportunities and do the work you love a wise philosopher once said that the most fulfilling pursuit in life is to get to know oneself now I just made that up sounds legit though right now mindfulness and meditation are all well and good but how about drawing is self-discovery sounds hokey but I can tell you that I've certainly learned a lot about myself over the years doing this thing so I'm sure you will too join the more than 7 million people already learning on skillshare today with a special offer just for my viewers everyone who visits the link in the description can get 2 months of unlimited access to the 25,000 Plus classes on skill [ __ ] for absolutely free so please release that tension and get that comprehension today anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and I oop and I [Music] oop hey kids I've been told by a lot of people that there's nothing more exciting than the metric system they may have a point but I can still prove them wrong today we're going to talk about some specific lesser known units of measurement first is the Schmid pain index now anybody could tell you that getting stung by a bug tends to hurt but just how much does one sting hurt compared to another are yellow jackets worse than Hornets are fire ants worse than honeybees nobody in the world of science knew for sure that is until a young upstart by the name of Justin Schmidt decided to boldly go where no entomologist has gone before but how did he plan to quantify the level of pain caused by different insect stings well it went something like this all right honeybee ow god that hurt I'll give that like a two next paper wasp okay that's like a three next let's try bullet ant Jesus Christ Mary Mother of Satan's left nipple it's like my hand is made entirely out of urethras and each and every one is having a RedHot catheter put in and ripped out five times every second my very being is on fire my only desire left is for death himself to bless me with sweet relief I'll give that a four no four plus in all seriousness though I'm pretty sure the index is meant to be logarithmic like earthquake magnitudes so just like a magnitude 7 earthquake is 10 times as powerful as a magnitude 6 a bullet ant stain causes a 100 times as much pain as a honeybee in total Schmidt cataloges 78 different species of the order hopa which includes ants bees and wasps you can tell a man is really dedicated to his job when after getting stung by 70 seven insects he says to himself you know what that wasn't enough I need one more creature to inject its venom into me and only then will this list be complete I guess you could say he just really gave a Schmid next is the Waffle House Index so for those of you that didn't know the Waffle House is one of the most resilient establishments in the world whereas most restaurants would simply close down in the event of say a hurricane Waffle House just goes from their normal mode to Disaster Response mode following extensive protocol that allows that Loc to keep serving customers in spite of low food supply or even a power outage in response to this business practice FEMA came up with what is known as The Waffle House Index which is a system to easily assess how badly an area is damaged by a natural catastrophe if the waffle house is fully open they're in the green which means things are basically fine if the Waffle House is using their low Supply menu you're in the yellow which means that the area is almost certainly mid disaster finally if you're in the red that means the Waffle House is either closed or gone now that's a sign of some real nuclear zombie Holocaust type [ __ ] going down so if you're not already dead you should probably vacate the area most Engineers could tell you that structurally speaking the triangle is the strongest of all shapes but I believe that there's one shape that's even stronger godp speed Waffle House next we have the apgar score so the apgar score is a rating system used by hospitals to determine how healthy a newborn baby is on a scale from 0 to 10 it's called apgar based on its five criteria which include appearance pulse grimace activity and respiration and each of these is rated on a scale from 0 to two to get your final score personally I think this set of Standards is a little flawed here's an example well it's completely blue and it doesn't really want to move at all but it's got a really fast heartbeat and it's screaming really loudly I'd give this baby like a six out of 10 that's good enough so in response I've invented my own rating system it's called the Ragu score R is for reflexes it's common knowledge that if you hold any healthy baby by its feet feet and then drop it it'll always land upright if your baby can't do that that's a sure sign that it's defective A is for abnormality if your baby seems weird that's typically a good indicator that it's weird G still stands for grimace just like in the app guard test only instead of looking at the baby's facial expression you just bring Grimace from McDonald's into the room and see how the baby reacts if it starts crying that's a good sign because Grimace is absolutely [ __ ] terrifying and finally you is for ugliness just because that might sway your decision on whether or not you want to keep it now if the baby passes the test it gets to go home but if it fails then it gets shipped off to the factory and made into Ragu hence the name of the test some people might be upset by this fact but you know what they say preo today Ragu tomorrow anyway that's all for today till next time I'm samonella and thank you for watching today's video has been sponsored by Ragu brand pasta sauce like the taste of pure infants then you'll love Ragu pasta sauce [Music] hey kids today I'm going to talk about a few slang words that I never understood first is chicken legs now if you know me you know that I'm leaner than lean so I've received this insult a couple times you know hey chicken legs but chicken legs really aren't that that skinny here's a diagram of my leg right and here's the average chicken leg look at that I wish I had that kind of calf definition that's sexy as [ __ ] there are bodybuilders with less meat on their bones than that and considering the fact that most people have interacted with the drumstick at some point in their lives I'm frankly dumbfounded that anyone ever thought to use this to refer to skinny people then they're socking someone hey man I'm trying to think of a new slang word for punching someone in the face really hard like just destroying someone with your fists got any ideas how how about one of the softest gentlest and most unassuming objects founded one's entire house that's like kicking someone in the dick and being like a w bro you just got feathered [ __ ] you don't try to downplay my suffering if anything I got Shin bashed in the dick bag that's the proper level of vulgarity relative to the situation anyway it would make a little more sense if you said gloved cuz at least those are socks for your hands but no it's nonsense next is blow in reference to cocaine it's a form of air movement so I guess this one is like correct but it could still lead to a lot of confusion yo y'all want to do some blow oh Okie doie oh oh I'm feeling it it's kicking in h doggy that's some Nifty blow you got there right get out of my house next is nuts when somebody is nuts it means they're wild they're crazy they live life on the edge right what the [ __ ] is so exciting about this finally box so box is a common slang word for one's lady bits right now I've only been around two vaginas in my life I came out of one of them when I was born and I spent most of my time around the other one with my eyes closed so my knowledge on that subject might be a little shaky however I have been around hundreds of thousands of boxes in my life I know those inside and out so that should make up for it and let me tell you these two things could not be less similar in shape you see boxes have corners if your [ __ ] has Corners you should probably start taking the tampons out of the contain container before you put them in likewise if you compare the properties of either object you'll notice that they're basically opposites in every way so as the slang word it's totally unfitting anyway that's all for today till next time I'm Sam andella and thank you for [Music] watching [Music] hey kids today I'm going to talk about some of the strangest rules regulations and ordinances from around the globe our first one comes from the United Kingdom in 1986 parliament passed what is known as the salmon act which among other things made it illegal to handle salmon in suspicious circumstance whatever that means oh [ __ ] police is that [ __ ] fish janga no here's another in many Caribbean countries it's a legal for a civilian to wear camouflage clothing in public in other words you're only allowed to wear really good camouflage the USA has its fair share of dumb laws most of which exist on the state level for example in Oklahoma you can be arrested for making an ugly face at a dog knowing the average panhandler it's fortunate that this law doesn't get enforced much or else half the state would have to brown bag it just by default and we can check this off looking good moving on in the State of Florida and I don't really know why they'd have to enforce this one it's considered unlawful to have sex with a porcupine police hey hey guys guys guys it's cool I'm actually a hedgehog oh carry on another good Florida law this one really cakes the take it's illegal for an unmarried female to go skydiving on Sunday this is how I imagine that coming into being right we need to ban skydiving why is that the sky is God's domain us Mortals have no right playing in it I'm pretty sure God doesn't care about people jumping out of planes for fun okay but how about we just ban people God doesn't like from skydiving like uh unwed women that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard what if it's also the Lord's day okay that's fair this next one comes from Russia where homophobia is fairly common place as one can imagine gay marriage is a big not over there but in 2013 Vladimir Putin took things a step further and made it illegal to even tell children that gay people [Music] exist PRL Anastasia October dooi staling kalishnikov vodka Adidas track bant [Music] Su apparently though that's not the weirdest world to come out of a former Red State in China it's actually illegal to reincarnate without the government's permission like a lot of Chinese policies this law was mostly just put in place to piss off to bet still though I can see there being a lot of unforeseen consequences here come in sir we found this cat in one of the local temples we suspect it might have been a Buddhist in a past life huh better execute it just to be safe by your orders Captain wait a minute did you hear that Ma there it is again he said ma oh my God that must be chairman ma reincarnated sorry sir but the orders have already been given no Jesus Christ you just killed our glorious leader oh God you're right what have I done come in sir we found another cat holy [ __ ] that was fast anyway that's all for today till next time I'm Sam andella and thank you for watching also I have a Twitter now check the [Music] description
