02/16/2019 Q & A | Dwayne Lemon

[Applause] thank you hello alright alright let's let's go ahead and our heads for prayer before brother lemon and his wife Alexandria began Heavenly Father thank you so much for the series of meetings the content is very important help us to take all of the information to heart and allow the Holy Spirit to open up our heart and mind in my precious name Amen everyone this is my bride from my side Alexandra you testing one two testing okay there it is we are really grateful to be here and to just you know share a little bit in relation to how the Lord has been working how many of you were at SWIC last year how many of you were there okay so some of you who were there you'll remember that my wife and I we were very candid you know we shared a lot about you know just our experiences this may makes 22 years that we have been married April of this year makes 21 years that we have been parents and you know we've been in the church for a bit longer than that so you know we have some experience we dare not come before God's people as experts by any stretch of the imagination but we do believe there are some things that God has helped us to understand that we can contribute and to share and so it's from that perspective that we wanted to go ahead and to do that so we wanted to start you know brother Cecil offered a word of Prayer I always feel weird not praying myself before going up if you don't mind just gonna offer just one little brief one again but I appreciate that brother Cecil but let's just borrow has just one more time please loving father we we rarely are truly grateful that we can be in service for thee and it's our heart's desire that we can be instruments in your hands that we can be anointed by your Holy Spirit and that we can share that which would prove to be effectual to the hearts of your people and so may you give us wisdom that's even beyond our years and truly open our understanding is our prayer we haven't asked in Jesus name Amen do you remember when we talked about I want to put this back up there this was up earlier today but I want to just go ahead and reference it one more time because it was really worth sharing and that was none other Maya there's me one moment yes so you'll remember that we put this statement up society is composed of families and is what the heads of families make it okay and then it says out of the heart of the issues of life and the heart of of course the community the church and the nation is the household one of the things that you know God has made very clear to Alexandra and I is that we have a tremendous responsibility especially considering the four gifts from God that God has given to us in the context of our two boys and our two girls that whatever it is that we do we must always keep in mind how does it impact our children because whatever goes on in our home is going to contribute to the community it's going to contribute to society it's going to contribute to the condition of the church and so for all of those reasons we have to do careful careful assessment one of the things I want to recommend right from the jump if you are not reading the book at Venice home and I'm not asking you what you read past tense I would like to recommend what you need to be reading now I would highly recommend we would recommend that you thoroughly go through the book Advent his home because a lot of what we would share with you are gonna come from books like Adventist home in other words if I can give you a list of some books to study and just so you know I have a stack of books at my home that I am studying one by one I am determined Alexandra is determined that we will have heaven reflected in our home and I will let you know that once you determine to do this all of the demons in Hell will come after you I'm just letting you know right now once you determine not my will God's will be done truly our home will be a little heaven on earth you will find that the devil will begin to attack you and to attack our children he will attack your health he will attack your state of mind he will attack your job and he will attack whatever he can attack to get your mind off of the resolve you just made and so we are going to go into war once we make this decision but it's a decision that we must make and the Bible says be of good cheer I have overcome the world so that's the good part yes we have gone into war the gates of Hell will attack us but the gates of Hell will not prevail against us these are the things you have to keep reminding yourself of all right now what are some books that I would write that that we would recommend when it comes to really studying how can I get my home to turn into a heaven on earth of course number one you need to just simply have your Bible amen all right need to have your Bible very very handy number two Advent is home Advent is home you need to go over it again and again mothers you need to study the chapter called queen of the household fathers you need to study that chapter dealing with the house band the house band Adventist home number two Child Guidance you know especially for parents with young children but even if you have older children was that Adventist home I'm sorry was that Child Guidance 172 that you showed me I believe it was 172 paragraph 2 I want to read this to you shall guidance 1:7 I believe it was 172 you'll confirm it in just a second here and it was a very encouraging statement yep 172 paragraph 2 now watch this under a beautiful title called only by God's Spirit I want you to listen to this because this is from child guidance it says shall we consider that we are capable of fashioning our lives and characters to enter into the portals of glory we cannot do it we are dependent every moment upon the Spirit of God operating upon us and upon our children think about that we are dependent every moment upon the Spirit of God operating upon us and upon our children now look at this most wonderful statement here and just so you know my brother I already have this thing highlighted and everything I me just so you know the Lord really blessed and I appreciate you being God's reminder to me it says if parents now listen to this because I believe that there's nothing about this quote that only speaks to if your children are very young I believe that this quote is an encouragement to those of us who have children that are even older listen to what it says if parents would see a different state of things in their family let them consecrate themselves wholly to God and the Lord listen to this beautiful promise and the Lord will devise ways and means whereby a transformation may take place in their households that is God's promise to you we're watching some of our children slip right through our hands right now and you know it you can see I'm losing my children you starting to see them with their heads constantly like this I mean constantly and sometimes as parents we say woe be unto me the day I allowed an electronic to enter into the hands of my child there's a lot of parents that are saying that woe be unto me the day that I allowed an electronic to enter into the hand of my child because there's a power last night all of us young people when we were together last night we talked about the power of social media and what is doing to us considering that we're living in the time of the most holy place and what God wants us to do and I was asking very real questions and Boyd that I appreciate my young brothers and sisters and how they gave some very real answers and they were able to pour out their hearts a bit and say hey yeah this this thing is pretty serious it's a fight to stay focused and so it is that some of us are watching our children kind of slipping out of our hands and we're thinking to us as Lord what am i doing what do I do and God just gave us a beautiful gem that came out of child guidance he said when the parents become wholly surrendered unto me wholly consecrated unto me God says now I can do something that can help turn things around for the household yes brother see so I saw your hand go up mistake all right and so the point is very simple add child guidance to the library this gems in the book child guidance that can still apply to a household whether the children are very young or even if the children are older so look for the gems and see how it applies in your circumstance in your situation book number three messages to young people this is especially for the parents who have children that are now in their teenage years you know preteens can fit in there too of course and then of course some of them even in their early 20s there are principles and messages to young people that are perfect absolutely perfect for edifying and strengthening our homes so messages to young people now here's one book that sometimes we don't read at all I would like to recommend you read it I would like to recommend you read it and I'm not being funny testimonies on sexual behavior you need to read it you need to read it I would like to recommend that you read it and evaluate what you allow to go on in your home okay testimonies on sexual behavior another book that I would highly recommend this book will be available this evening this book I have found to be a tremendous help when it comes to really knowing how to structure your home and to allow your and to become what we what inspiration calls home heads faithful home heads it's a book called the sacred the book the book that we're gonna be sharing this evening the book the brown book home leadership home leadership this is a book I would highly recommend we brought probably about thirty of them with us just in case but this this book is really excellent it's a curriculum book it's actually kind of like turning your home into a little school and you're really understanding how to be a home head from a wife's perspective and from a husband's perspective Elda WD Frazee and many others this is the curriculum book that they used to teach the students at Wildwood on how to ultimately become a home head and avail your home to others and and to allow your home to become a place that becomes a house of instruction on how to live the principles of righteousness before the occupants of the household very excellent book so this is also in our stack of books that we're going over and what we have found is that these books have proven to be very very helpful and it's something that you read over and over and over again is you kind of never stop reading it so I want to reference that to you because what we're going to cover right now is only gonna you know we're gonna only hit certain parts of it but if you have these books written for your library then I trust that they will prove a tremendous blessing to you so please make sure Advent is home child guidance messages to young people testimonies on sexual behavior marriage and divorce and then get the book home leadership it's very good it's a it's a worthy investments not very expensive anyhow but it's a very very good book and it goes through the principles of what it is to be a home head okay what it is to be a home head and it walks through those steps so that is material wise what God would have us to do my wife had a text of Scripture that I think would be very good for us to go over you had it in on the book of Isaiah could you be could you go ahead and share that with us and this is dealing with identity knowing who you are as an individual because society tries to define us as women and they have the wrong picture but God knows what he expects from us as a woman he made us so it's good to go to the creator to find out who our dead what our identity is so Isaiah 43 verse 1 says but now thus saith the Lord that created thee O Jacob and he had formed thee O Israel fear not for I have redeemed thee I have called thee by thy name thou art mine so I belong to God amen understanding your identity also calls for understanding your purpose as well right so if you go down to verse 7 and you read it says every even every one that is called by my name for I have created him for my glory I have formed him yay I have made him man so not only am I am I gods but my person purpose is to glorify Him so so far I'm understanding right my identity is forming and you can only find this in the Word of God in verse in the book first Corinthians chapter 10 verse 31 and it says what's whether therefore I'm sorry I don't know if you want me to just say it or you want to ok 1st Corinthians 10:31 actually let me go there as well okay and it says whether therefore ye eat or drink or whatsoever you do do all to the glory of God so everything in my life everything I do everything I say everything how I eat just everything I do in my day-to-day life has to give God glory so I know my husband talked about what is giving God Gloria what is the glory of God and we don't do we need to go over that again I think it would be edifying so if you do not know what the glory of God is the Bible helps us with this in Exodus 33 and verse 18 and you can either turn there or you could certainly take note of it in Exodus 33 and verse 18 Moses simply goes to God and he says I beseech thee show me your glory show me your glory so the subject matter is God's glory in verse 19 God responds to Moses and he says I will make all my goodness pass before thee and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before thee and I will be gracious unto whom I will be gracious and show mercy unto whom I'll show mercy so God makes it very clear that my glory is synonymous to my goodness and my name by time you get to Exodus 34 5 through 7 just one chapter over in Exodus 34 5 through 7 the Bible says and the Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there and proclaimed the name of the Lord the Lord passed by before him and proclaimed the Lord the Lord God merciful gracious long-suffering abundant in goodness and truth keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and that will by no means clearing the guilty visiting the iniquity of the father's upon the children and upon the children's children to the third and fourth generation God revealed his character so the glory of God is is character so when Alexandra says that you know God formed me so that I might glorify Him then that is what God is saying is I've formed you so that you can be a reflection of my character this is what God wants for you and once for me my identity is found in the fact that number one I'm a child of God he is mine and I am his and then in that identity is my purpose which is that I might reflect God and make him known to others now what we receive from God at the end of the day you know you read it already as it relates to the identity and purpose you know some Bible verses there but the other thing that I want you to also to consider as we're talking about it because this is where everything begins you see the more that we understand this the better position we're in to really talk about how to establish a rock-solid home that we can truly glorify God number one you have to understand your identity but you need to understand yourself worth what are you worth and the easiest way to understand what you're worth is obviously considering John 3 and verse 16 and and and I want I want us to really consider John 3:16 like this in John 3 and verse 16 for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life what God was trying to communicate is that you and I are worth so much to him that this is what he was willing to do I want you to watch this look at what God was willing to do it says I want you to watch this here there you go Satan in heaven had hated Christ for his position in the courts of God I want you to think about this he hated him the more when he himself was dethroned he hated him who pledged himself to redeem a race of sinners yet into the world where Satan claimed Dominion God permitted his son to come a helpless babe subject to the weakness of humanity now watch this last point here he permitted him to meet life's perils in common with every human soul to fight the battle as every child of humanity must fight it at the what at the risk of failure and what kind of loss if you are wondering how much am i worth Jesus says you are worth so much to me that I was willing to risk losing my eternal existence so that you might be saved Jesus's love is so deep for us that he was willing to be destroyed he took the risk if he failed even once he would have to be destroyed and the Father loves you so much that the father said that if the son fails I will have to destroy him this is hard for the human mind to grasp your self-worth is so deep that God says I was willing to risk eternally being lost how can God risk eternally being lost this was like a permanent sacrifice that Christ was willing to make I'll become human and I'm willing to take a risk that if I send just once I will allow the father to destroy me and the father says and I would destroy my son that's hard for the mind to even grasp and yet when somebody tries to tell you you're worth less this is why Jesus tells us you need to revisit the cross you need to come back to Calvary you must never ever forget this is why Ellen White will say in the book ministry healing when she talks about let the cross of Christ be the science of all education the center of all teaching and all study bring its principles into the daily experience in practical life why is it that the cross is so incredibly central because it ever keeps before the soul your value and the more that you understand your value and how much you're worth you will respond accordingly to it when it comes to your identity you're gonna understand Who I am I am very precious in the eyes of God the easier that an individual understands that it's a lot easier to move on and how we can truly help our homes to become what God desires it to be right now many wives look for their validation from their husbands ladies you are setting yourself up for massive disappointment we want to make this very clear now honey did you make these type of mistakes somewhere in those 22 years that we've been together trying to make your identity and your value be summed up in how I see you or how I respond to you or anything of this nature well definitely and my problem happened even before we got married mm-hmm so you know I know some people came to me and said I want to deal with if you could talk about the single the single I want to get married or I want to one day meet that special someone and I really do understand you know that's a special experience to have but when I look at my marriage and I tell you I love this man so much and I sometimes feel I thank God that you know that I guess I chose you right mm-hmm that's why we had to fix it and we had the renewal so but nevertheless I'm glad we toughed it through but a lot of the things that we went through we didn't have to go through but it's usually because we I know I was broken when I came into this marriage I was really broken a lot of the things that I read about now in Adventist home a lot of these things could have been prevented this is why if you are single please read these books don't wait till you're married and have children and start reading the book a lot of us parents made that mistake so hearing the concept of you know feeling you know understanding your worth in the cross and all these things sounds so beautiful but I know when I first heard these things it was very difficult for me to accept and a lot of the times is because there are things that has happened to some of us that shouldn't have happened and we have no healing from them so how do you hear these things you come in to church you hear these things and it just doesn't register it sounds good you want to believe it but the devil has duped he has it's thinking that what has happened in our past whatever traumatic situation or whatever you know we talked about divorce and the impact it has on children I have seen I mean it's it's just again because we're trying to respect people I know some people are watching and so we have to be careful about what we say but there's a lot of young people that are hurt they are hurting and even though the family's moving on these things are gonna manifest itself in different ways and they're gonna grow into adults and it's gonna be what you ever hear that concept the white elephant on the couch or something like that the elephant in the room okay and you kind of live in that house knowing that there's an elephant in it and it's not supposed to be on your couch but you kind of live as if you kind of adjust to the abnormality of that whole situation and you can live for 30 years with that issue and think on the outside you're okay if you've adjusted to that problem but you're gonna have to face it you're gonna have to deal with it eventually but when you deal with it you'll be set free man and God wants to set us free from our depression for my anxiety from past pain childhood issues that we've never even as adults have dealt with things that shouldn't happen to us neglects mistakes our parents have made and so I know for me when I walked down that aisle I always tell doing if you knew who you were marrying you probably would I ran out the church because I was just a hot mess you know adorned in a dress but broken inside broken and to the point I didn't even realize how much I was broken because you know at the beginning how you know where my mind was everything you know you talk nice everything is nice you know you say all the right things cuz you want to keep him you know and I mean I mean maybe it's just me so you know everything was just perfect but then you know after a year like he talked about year or two you know things starts happening especially I mean after we were married for like I think two year two months I got pregnant so I just went straight into Parenthood both of us and it was a amazing setup when I look past us like Satan Wow and to see that this book Adventist home was put in my hand when my first son was blessed into the church he had the baby blessing and I saw it and I first thought it was a baby Bible for him I was completely a bigger I've been home must be a Bible for him when he gets bigger okay and I just and in it there was so much truth when I look back at it and I'm like wow I had this information it was always there and I never read it and all these issues that I had to go through would have been something I didn't have to deal with had I read the book and so and and this is something for the single people this is for now the truth of the matter is is that this is something for everybody because even in a marriage you still have to deal with this you know if you have not dealt with it now it's just more complicated because now you know as a single person you can just kind of deal with it without having to worry about being something to someone else we're in a marriage you still got to deal with it but you also have to be something to someone else so you kind of have a dual work now but either way you have to deal with this so the reality is is that you need to understand who you are you need to understand your value and don't make it up you know the again do not make up your value in this idea of you know the externals and things how much money you have or or how long your hair is you know this the the shallow stuff that people because you can have money today and you can your money could be gone tomorrow you can have you know you can have long hair today you can have short hair tomorrow I mean these are very shadow things they can go away in the snap of a finger so the idea is that God doesn't want you to get caught up into that what he wants you to understand is the principles of what we're talking about number one identity and purpose number two self-worth but then also security you know finding your security in Jesus rather than finding your security in your spouse this is literally where we fail the individual walk must be developed between us and God all right so let's go to Hebrews 13 let's consider verse five and again let's just consider this is what God is speaking to us as individuals okay Hebrews 13 and let's go ahead and consider verse five Alexandra can you read that for us Hebrews 13 and verse five okay let your conversation be without covetousness and be content with such things as he have for he hath said I will never leave thee nor forsake thee this is this is your contentment this is your contentment now did you notice that I said be content did you see that let me let me show you something that I think is very deep about this if you if you just you know consider this for a moment the Bible encourages us be content in ministry healing page 241 there's some things that it says tends to break down the life forces and invite decay and death what are some of those things that tend to break down the life forces and invite decay and death number one is grief number two is anxiety number three is what being discontented when you allow yourself to stay in a state of discontentment it literally starts to break down your life force and it starts to eat away at you and invites decay and death not only that but also remorse and then finally distrust if you want to break down of these notice grief is emotional suffering caused by disaster an unfortunate outcome sorrow anxiety is apprehensive uneasiness of mind constantly worrying discontent a sense of grievance dissatisfaction then remorse distress arising from a sense of guilt and self-reproach and then distrust to have no confidence in someone you're constantly suspicious these things literally tend to break down your life force and it literally invites decay and death Hebrews 13 and verse 5 as we just read it encourages us to be content and God shows us why we should be content and he says the reason why you should be content is because I will never leave you and I will never forsake you this is very important to the wife or to the husband who spouse left them some of us begin to question our value some of us begin to question our relevance we question our significance we question all sorts of things we should never question as a result of the behaviors of other people and what and as a result of that it invites a lot of havoc in the home so one of the first steps that God tells us is I don't want my people to go through these things and if you got any of these going on in your life you definitely want to handle that before getting married very serious about that speaking again to the singles if you're constantly subjected to anxiety if you're constantly filled with grief in your life if you're constantly discontented if you're constantly remorseful and if you're constantly distrustful you need to handle all of that before you even minutely think about marrying anybody because what's gonna happen is you're gonna carry that into your marriage with you and some of you already did and the husband is saying man that's exactly what my wife goes through or some wives are saying wow that's exactly what my husband goes through no wonder we're not meeting each other's needs etc and the only way you can solve these problems is with the Word of God see so that's why you'll notice that every single one of these has something from the Bible to help address it every single one of them battling with grief second Corinthians one three and four you're battling with anxiety Philippians four six and seven you're battling with discontent Hebrews 13 verse five notice that if you're battling with remorse Psalms thirty-two one through five and if you're battling with distrust Psalms 1:46 three 1st Corinthians 11 and verse one God God's Word has answers to these issues God's Word and so what he wants us to do he's trying to cultivate something in your heart and in my heart as individuals and that is that we are children of God that have tremendous value before God and as we live by his words God can take us from these five things to these five things courage then hope what else faith what else sympathy what else love how do you spell out these this is what if you have this going on in your life you will make the best wife and best husband if you have courage what is that that quality of mind which enables men to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness or without fear or depression of spirits hope a desire of some good accompanied with at least a slight expectation of obtaining it or a belief that it is obtainable faith the ascent of the mind to the truth of what is declared by another resting on his authority and veracity without other evidence that's a full trust in God sympathy fellow-feeling the quality of being affected by the affection of another love to have benevolence which is a desire to do good to others or goodwill for others as we have these type of things governing our minds number one ministry healing 241 says it promotes health and long life but it also helps contribute towards making sure you have a very happy secure marriage this is what God would have us to experience in our individuality before we start to move on into being a great wife because being a great wife and being a great husband definitely requires work it requires effort no question but brothers and sisters at the end of the day it's really not so much what you do as it is who you are on my little Apple watch thingy here and on my phone I get a reminder at least four times a day I set it up on purpose gospel workers page 204 and what it says is what a man is has greater influence than what he says four times a day I am reminded of that I programmed that and a college boy I tell you it comes at the most perfect times you know I mean it but I mean it just comes at the most perfect times when I'm at a situation where I'm tempted to be agitated it's like you're going through something I did not say get agitated at my wife while you're trying to start trouble it it it's it's it's not something where it's towards my bride it could be towards anything when I find myself getting tempted to really be agitated I lied to you not it's like okay this thing is really annoying me you know what I think I want to get ready to respond to this in the flesh and then Bing what a man is has greater influence than what he says and it's a reminder Duane is more important who you are than what you say being a great wife and being a great husband God has certainly made clear to me as it relates to being a house band is not so much about what I do versus Who I am it's what I am is Who I am being a great wife is not about what she doesn't what she doesn't do for me and etc but it's really about who she is who are you and what a man is has far greater influence than what he says so these become some of those things that God says look I want my people to pay really really close attention to this because the more that we understand these things it affords for the third the fourth thing on the list which is happiness so let's go to Psalms 144 when you understand I am a child of God I am the creation of God I am a son of God I am a daughter of God when we understand those principles now we can look at Psalms 144 and Alexandra if you could read that for Psalms 144 what does it say in verse 15 this is this is really really helpful and it can enable us to experience some great things so go ahead happy is that people that is in such a case yay happy is that people whose God is the Lord it produces happiness when you know who you are when you understand who's you are it makes it a whole lot easier to be happy and your happiness is not contingent on how the spouse treats you your happiness is now found in the fact that I am his and he is mine and that I know he'll never leave me he'll never forsake me he will always be there for though I'm with you always even to the end of the world all those promises from Scripture have deep meaning now the reality is this family and I'd like to speak very straight up with you about it to many of us God is still a fictitious character I mean if it is sad but to many of us God is still a fictitious character and you know what often proves it that wonderful thing called crisis crisis has a way of helping us see how much you really believe in God how much you really trust him and this is something that all of us are yeah this one reason why God allows those trials to really unfold in our lives because he's trying to get us to a place that we can really trust him even in the worst of scenarios I don't understand how we could claim that we believe time is almost finished we're getting ready to go towards the final race and you know the story of the court you know that the road is getting more and more narrow we know that you're getting to a place where you got to take off the not only the the you know they took off a horse we got to take off the vehicles we get to a point we got to take off the backpacks we start taking off the jackets we start taking off even our socks eventually there's no ground under us and everything has to rest now upon the court which means that everything is going to be totally by faith we literally live by faith what is faith what do we learn earlier faith is faith is trusting the Word of God only to do what the word said is gonna do that's faith and so it is that God is trying to get us there that when nothing else seems to speak hope to you except my word meaning everything else you're looking at says my children are gonna be lost my husband hates me my wife can't stand me and more than likely we're gonna have a terrible marriage I'm getting sick it doesn't look like I'm getting any better it looks like you know everything just looks bad but then you go to the Bible and there's a word of encouragement and that word of encouragement literally fights against everything that's reality around you God this is when God says you must know what it is to live by faith the just shall live by faith and so this is what God keeps walking us through now then I could get so practical with this thing I mean the the sooner we believe this things will start changing in your life the sooner we believe this things are going to start changing in my and I don't and I'm not just talking about domestically you know dealing with the marriage I'm talking about physically I'm talking about emotionally you know the last time I saw some of you if you're in the same exact state that you were in and maybe it's been a year or what have you you want to ask yourself a question why am I still in this state it's been a year you know two years ago three years ago why am I still in the same situation why am I still in the same condition is it that God is so slothful that he just doesn't have any solutions for me or could it be because there's something wrong with me or there's something defective about my faith my trust in God so the first thing you just want to keep in mind is really dealing with you as an individual you really want to make sure that you are settled in Christ to the point that you understand your identity you understand your purpose you understand your self-worth you understand your who's your security and where it's found and you understand your source of happiness and if you can get that thing locked in you're prepared to see a lot of problems go away in the home because now the right foundations are being said don't put the weight on others that they cannot bear anytime you have a burden that's too heavy for you to bear there's one guarantee Jesus did not give you that burden you remember that anytime you're carrying a burden that is so heavy it feels like it's crushing you there's a guaranteed fact Christ did not give you that burden Jesus said my yoke is easy my burdens are light you cannot say I got a burden is so heavy it's crushing me why is God doing this to me ah stop the Word of God says God did not give you that burden you gave yourself that burden there's something you're doing you're holding on to we're holding on to I'm holding on to that God is actually telling you let it go live leave that with me all right there's many things that we can cover but these are just some foundational principles as it relates to the individual now let's talk about the spouse the wife the husband what are some principles that we can learn as it relates to the wife and to the husband so Alexandra what are some principles that you were able to put together just in relation to the wife some things that God has made clear from his word of inspiration that we can impart to our brothers and our sisters in relation to the wife well first I want to say that as I said before coming into the marriage I was broken so you know I looked to Dwayne as we talked about to deal with the issues that I came in and so constantly disappointed up and down and so never really happy consistently that it's like the the happiness would depend on his behavior that's way too much power to give anybody you know where their behavior impacts your your happiness I don't know if anyone can relate to that that's that's like prison you know that's not a real life but yet if you haven't experiencing if you haven't experienced anything better this is what you're accustomed to doing so being that kind of wife and you know understanding you know I found out later in life I guess what the what a woman or wife should be and I'm pulling it up now I apologize I'm not as smooth as him transitioning I think I'm gonna have to try to remember off a memory but okay we'll do that okay helpmeet right talking about how I'm supposed to encourage him in the Lord and build him up and all these things but yet how do I do that if I myself do not have that really it's impossible but yet so much we're all in this knot we are all because I don't know any situation but a lot of us are in that situation or were in that situation maybe at one point and it's disastrous so trying to build him up and meet the standard that God would have him to be and then having children coming into that and seeing that we are educating our children into these things and this is what they see as Christianity and sometimes we wonder so it's not the cell phones you all know it's not the cell phones that's pushing the kids away if some of us have that issue with our children they already had the disposition to do that right so if they were if they had a place if they were at a place where they their relationship with God was just better when these things come they would have been able to withstand so when I see that and I could say in my own home I see I we started to see the children doing certain things with their phones and we had to consider like okay why is this happening okay we've set guidelines and all these things but I had to look back I had to go back and this is what began my journey into understanding I had to go all the way back from childhood to realize that something was contributing to these things so it wasn't my husband because sometimes what we do is that we blame our spouses for our problems right you're the reason why I'm not happy you're the reason why these things are happening you're the reason and then there's a constant problem and so we haven't ascertained the cause it's not our spouses it's us we're not unified with God we don't have that peace so therefore I had to go all the way back and I had to deal with all those demons that used to just plague my mind and I by the grace of God overcame and it was a long process I tell you I mean I mean I'm not I don't care if people know my age I don't really don't mind that but when I was 38 while ago extract you're talking 30 years prior is when the trauma happened and at the age of 38 is when I started dealing with it so for 30 years I carried this thing with me okay and it wasn't up until last year late I had 100% victory amen and that was a long process of healing you're talking less than 10 years but because when I'm 46 right so so so you're talking less than 10 years of healing and it's not because God wasn't quick it was just because you know I was I have a custom my mind to think a certain way and I wasn't you know I was resistant to it but over time I had to kind of start all over again and you know God is so good cuz he redeems the time don't feel like it's too late it's never too late you know our children are ages 17 to 20 and they still submit to our counsel you know we there's a transition in how we deal with our children but they still submit to our counsel we can't treat them like they're 10 but you know there's a way we can still reach our kids and we allow them to be adults and to make choices but they still lean to us for our guidance and that is still after the marriage covenant wasn't entered properly after the home training didn't start well and you're talking about grown kids so you know if you find that you have children that are wayward or whatever it's not too late I've seen God work in amazing ways by me their character is seriously settled and we're still in you know the road but you gotta have to face those situations so dealing with it this is why we're very cautious we're you know when people want to come for counseling and things like that it's not that we want to discourage anyone from getting married but we just really want them to consider it's a lot of weight your marriage is supposed to be a witness it's supposed to glorify God in it as two people who are have their own individual relationship with God and so many of us don't have that so if you think about that so many people get married that shouldn't have been married you know or maybe not at that time you know so dealing with the role of a wife in understanding what I was supposed to be for Dwayne you know it was very difficult to accomplish that without my own walk with God so I lost my notes so I'm gonna let cuz he has his notes together and I'm gonna look for mine and maybe we'll connect after sure one of the first things that I would like to recommend is forgiveness go to Ephesians 4 please just just let's look at this verse when you look at Ephesians 4 just consider verses 31 and 32 in Ephesians 4:31 and 32 you will find that you know the Bible is just crystal clear in this matter in Ephesians four verses 31 and 32 the Bible clearly says let all bitterness how much bitterness ok says let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice then it says in verse 32 and be kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you you know one of the key essentials obviously in God helping us to have a happy home is we must understand God's forgiveness and that forgiveness runs very deep because one of the things that it can possibly become very easy to do is hurt each other even as husbands and wives and you can get to a point that you feel your husband so hard-headed he doesn't listen anyhow what's the point let me just tolerate him my wife she hardly listens anyhow what's the point let me just tolerate her I don't read anything in the Word of God that says husbands tolerate your wives as Christ tolerated the church I don't read anything where it talks about wives tolerate your husbands as the church was to tolerate Christ you know the this is this is these are the ways that we are restructuring and rephrasing the Word of God the Bible is very clear that we are to love one another and in that love again part of that demonstration of love is going to be forgiving I passed her earlier when we talked about it and he shared something with me and I would consider him a pretty good authority because number one he told me his age passed are you okay with me sharing your age is that Alright I mean this man is walking towards me and you know he's back straight you know head head alert talking with tremendous clarity and he comes to me and he says I'm 91 years young or not he said 91 years old I said no no 91 years young I mean I marveled at how wonderful he looked and sounded etc at the age of 91 and I'll just say man said God's grace is upon you and then he's been married now is it for 60 68 68 years that's longer than I've been alive 68 years you all should be flocking to this man cuz he's still married and is that your bride next to you she has a nice smile that tells me she's happy he is definitely doing something right and what I would recommend but I'm very serious about this when I joined the church I did not sit with the young people that were my age because I already knew they were about foolishness I sat with the older people because the older people were serious and I wanted to be around two older people because they were the serious ones and I wanted to be serious about my walk with God if you really want to be serious about your home and your marriage or starting a home etc that's who you go to you go to people number one that are consecrated unto the Lord number two there are people that have learned from what we call the book of experience and you're talking about a 68 year old book that's a really serious book and these are the kind of things so one of the things that he shared with me and again it was such simple counsel is if and when the times come that one of the spouses messes up and does something wrong hurtful insulting his counsel was very simple don't dwell on it you think that's simple you miss nope yes it is you misunderstood what I asked I said isn't that simple isn't it simple don't dwell on it now watch this is it easy ah you see the difference is it is the counsel simple super simple but is it easy you know how it becomes easier it feeds for what we just read you see what you just read in Ephesians 4 this is how God makes it easier to not dwell on it he says let all bitterness anger malice and all these negative elements he says let that stuff be put away from you and then he says now I want you to do the contrast in verse 32 now want you to be kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another etc and then he says even as that's your sobering point right there if you dwell on what your spouse has done to you you will have brand-new fresh reasons for being mad and staying that but if you and I were to dwell on what I've done to Christ if you were to spend time to see how unfaithful you've been if you were to just take some time to think of how insulting we've been to God if we were to take some time to consider how wretched miserable poor blind and naked I am before the Lord yet he still loves me he's still willing to forgive me he says if you forsake your way he says I'll abundantly pardon you even right now and I will wipe your slate clean and I'll present you faultless before the presence of my glory with exceeding joy not with reluctancy but with exceeding joy I'll present you faultless when you consider how bad I am yet God was still willing to do this for me you will find it's a lot easier to not dwell on what your spouse just did to you it'll become a whole lot easier literally I believe the cross of Calvary is God's sobering agent it Sobers you real quick like if you drunk God says drink some of this just look at the cross behold Calvary look at what I was willing to do for wicked sinners like you and what you did to me what you did to my son and here it is I'm still willing to forgive you and God would literally turn that thing around and you will find it a lot easier to forgive the people that have offended you that's the power of the cross and we are never to forget that and then after that it is a lot easier to become the kind of husband God calls us to be what's the kind of husband God calls us to be the home is an institution of God God designed that the family circle father mother and children should exist in this world as a firm now watch the work of making home happy does not rest upon the mother alone gentlemen I understand that you know we sacrifice we work hard especially speaking to the home school families etc yeah you sacrifice you work hard to maintain the house so sometimes it's very natural to feel that when I get home I have a right to just kind of go on my own bubble in my own world well God burst that bubble real quick so look the work of making home happy does not rest upon the mother alone look at what it says it says fathers have an important part to act the husband is the house band of the home treasures binding by his strong earnest devoted affection the members of the household mother and children together in the strongest bonds of union so what I do is this this is how I do it now I'd like to make this recommendation to the men in the room especially the husband's when I read this right here right so it says it says the husband is the house band of the home treasures then it says binding by his what strong I stop right there stop taking these words for granted sometimes we read these words and we read it without understanding prophets 4 and verse 7 says with with all thy getting get understanding so what do I do with this statement right here gentlemen what I do is I simply look at it and I say okay I am to bind my family and it tells you who you're binding together it says it right there mother and children so it's not a mystery that's who you're binding together now what it says is I am to bind mother and children together in the strongest bonds of Union I am the one that God counts on to create the strongest bonds of Union in my home how do I do that it says that I must be strong I must be earn it earnest and I must have devoted affections look up each of the words make sure you understand it make sure it's clear to your mind what does it mean to be strong what does it mean to be earnest what does it mean to have devoted affection look up the word stop taking everything for granted some of us don't even know what these words mean or we think we know what it means and if somebody asks you what it means you don't have an answer so what God says is stop reading so fast literally go over it think about it and then most importantly ask yourself am i doing that am i doing that because if I'm not doing that I need to start doing that and then it goes on to say his name house band is the true definition of husband I saw that but how many fathers few fathers realized their responsibility so we know that this is a problem we already know that this is a problem because there's only a few that get it which means the majority don't always remember the opposite a few is majority that's how the Scriptures put it there's many and then this few many makes up the majority few makes up the minority you read that in Matthew 7:13 and 14 many there be that go in thereat that's the people on the road to destruction that's the majority few there be that find it that's the people who are saved that's the minority so we know that the few here when it says I saw that but few fathers realize that that means the minority of fathers really understand what it means to be a husband so that's the reason why don't take it for granted I'm being serious with you it's like I had to stop and literally look up every word when I was studying member when Jesus said man should not live by bread alone but by you thought he was joking didn't you you thought he was joking because how many times do we read across words and we don't even understand what we just read we have no idea how to apply what we just read we're just happy we just read it and we call that study that's not study study is when you understand what you just read and you can apply it in your life because it's that simplified you've made it that practical that now you can do it I'm told my wife this one in FF I had devotion I said girl I said I'm excited and she was like why are you excited I said cuz I said I'm getting a question answered for two years I had a question that I did not have fully answered when I was going through anxiety two plus years ago around the time of the whole heart crisis thing I remember I was at meat ministry and I was walking with a brother by the name of bread and when Brad and I were walking together he was like Dwayne what's wrong I said man I just don't have God's peace I said I need God's peace and he said what did Jesus take it back did Jesus take it away from you and I was like what are you talking about now Brad knows how to deal with me so you know he's a good brother so so he's asking questions that he's like look I know you know the answer is doing so he said to Jesus take it away from me and I was like no he did not take it away from me and he was like well last I checked Jesus says peace I leave with you so my understanding is he left you his peace why don't you just take it and you know what I said that's so theoretical that's what I said I was like bro I mean that's like cool and everything here that's nice you just kind of like you know got me but at the end of the day I have no idea how to how to do what you just said I don't know how to do that I have no idea how to do that so I understand Jesus left his peace so what I need to do is I need to take it but I was like I don't know how in Leary that was my problem I was like I don't I don't know how what he liked how do you explain to somebody take the peace that Christ left you like how do you explain that right so that was really getting on my nerves a little bit I was annoyed by it and I was like listen thanks I appreciate it you know whatever and I kept it moving I forgot all about the subject hmm and I found that my life was kind of like this roller coaster I don't know if any of you go through this where you go through like peace you're like oh man I'm experiencing the peace of God praise the Lord and then all of a sudden you just and then you just tank back down you know have no peace where's the peace of God at and he goes through this period of frustration and then after that period of frustration oh you know what praise the Lord I got I got his peace again I got his peace again peaceful and the next thing up home and then I go back down again where's his peace I don't understand where its pieces at you know that's called that's called emotionalism your peace with God is based on emotions I feel good so I got his peace and then when I don't feel good where's his peace ed that's not what Jesus left because that's the peace that the world gives and he specifically said not as the world gives give I unto you you get that so this morning I'm having my devotion right so I'm having my devotion and I'm going through meekness I'm really studying meekness like I'm really studying meekness and I'm loving what I'm reading about meekness so I'm learning how can I be more of a meek man so there's statements I'm going through thoughts or an amount of blessings page 13 through 17 simple read but very powerful so as I'm going through this thing I mean like when I go into a study the whole world disappears I mean like I'm in it so I'm literally going through it I'm like alright and I'm going through every word every syllable I mean I'm just going through it like I need to understand this so I saw three things that I must have and it says when you have these three things it says you are learning the meekness of Christ it says I must understand my need for Christ number two it says that I must was the second thing all right I'll remember but then the third thing was you also are enter into the school of affliction with him so it talks about these three things right I understand your need for Christ one more thing and then it says enter into the school of affliction so I'm like aha I said okay so these are the three things that I need so that I can know how to receive the meekness of Christ more than meekness of Christ so as I'm going through the study there's a point where it talked about how Jesus had so much peace that it says nothing framed by it says neither human or satanic wrath could disturb his peace and I said oh Lord I said I need that right there that one is mine I need that it says neither hew nor satanic wrath could disturb his peace so I was like father how do I get that I need that and then as I was reading it gave two quotes and it gave two quotes from the Bible and one of the quotes was talking about peace my peace i leave unto you et cetera and then the other quote said come unto me all ye that Labour and a heavy laden and I will give you rest and as I read that I was like wait and it was like the Spirit of God just said okay Dwayne what are the two things that stand out in the reading peace and rest so I was like oh took out my computer just peace and rest and I look for everywhere in the Bible where it talks about the combo of peace and rest there was about three verses and all the scriptures that came up with peace and rest and they go hand in hand all the time peace and rest peace and rest peace and rest so I was like aha so getting God's peace is also having his rest so then I was like okay so we're back to that original question how do I get God's peace he said I left it but the thing is I need to take it so as I'm going through that study lo and behold as I'm going through the study take this peace and rest Jesus says come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest then it says take take my yoke upon you and learn of me for I am meek and lowly in heart and you shall find rest unto your souls so I was like so the way I get God's peace the way I can grab he left it the way I can grab it is that I must take his yoke the more that I take his yoke I am taking his peace and it's gonna produce his rest and then I was like all right now let's really get into how to practically take the yoke and as soon as I went into that my alarm went off and it was time for me to stop because I had to get ready to come to church for early morning service so I can't wait till all of this is over because when I go home I'm gonna pick right back up again what I'm saying to you is that that probably sounded very tedious what I would just went through but sometimes that's what you got to do to really get understanding you've really got a dig and you got a search and you got to read and you got to pray and you got to compare until it clicks that you can say I now see the gospel in a practical sense that's what you got to do sometimes what I'm saying is is the reason that I saw that but few fathers realized their responsibility is because we're not taking the time to really understand what does it mean to be a father what does it mean to be a husband and sometimes this is the kind of effort that's gonna have to be put forward so that it can get done the husband and father is the head of the household what does that mean the wife looks to him for love and sympathy and for aid in the training of their children and what does it say this is right so this is this is simple family does the wife have a right that even when the husband comes home from a hard day's work does the wife have a right to look to that husband for three things for love sympathy and aid in the training of the children does the wife have a right to do that husbands do we owe that husbands can we agree then that by God's grace going forward when I come home even from a hard day's work that I am still gonna ask God to give me enough reserve of energy maybe even lord please renew my energy that by your grace if your children are still home and certainly if your wife is there that I'm gonna take time when I get home to know what it is to lavish her with love sympathy and aid in helping with the children how many how many husbands are willing to make that kind of covenant amen do you see that this is literally what God wants us to just start doing make up your mind make a decision and so it is that this is what we're told to do now it says the children look to the father for support and guidance it says he needs to have a right conception of life question how many husbands in this room have a right conception of life exactly this is what I'm saying what you got to do now say what in the world does that mean do you understand that what I'm saying family is this is how you have to study you must get a right conception of life that's what it says it says he needs to have a right concern this is husbands he needs to have a right conception of life and of the influences and associations that should surround his family that's a husband and if you single you need to pay extra attention because some of you are tired of being single and one day you want to be a husband and if you're gonna be a husband this is what God is calling you to be and so it is that it says it right there above all he should be controlled by the love and fear of God and by the teaching of his word that he may guide the feet of his children in the right way this is what God wants I hope you understand the bottom-line simplicity of this is that as you pick up the books as you read them take time to study them don't go past words you don't understand because this is heavenly instruction God is trying to show you how to live he's trying to show you and I had a function amen all right now that was just a little bit of a combo just on husband and father I will let my bride did you find what you need to find hon I mean it's the mother so my wife is just going to share a couple of principles as it relates to the mother and again we're going to go ahead and consider just the fact that the resources like I said we're giving you simple encouragement to just say this is what God us to do now listen family I'm just gonna let you know this very quickly before my wife reads go to James chapter one this is the last thing I'll share with you and then I'll let my wife go ahead and and and bring this out James chapter one I just want you to remember this because I'm starting to understand some things about God's work in these last days James chapter one I just want you to watch this very quickly James chapter one alright we're looking at James chapter one and we're going to consider verse 22 the Bible says in James chapter one and verse 22 it says but be ye what be doers of the word and not what here is only deceiving your own selves the goal of us going through these simple steps is that we might be doers of the word not hearers only when we're here is only what's happening to us we're deceiving ourselves okay God says I want you to go home and I want you to experiment this because this is how we can turn a home that appears like hell into a home that becomes like a heaven on earth but you got to do it you can't just read it you got to do it and it may require you to surrender certain dreams goals and objectives that you presently have and presently are working on but that's alright because mark 8 and verse 36 says what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and lose his own soul and so we got to let first things be first and if there's one thing that should come first is the home alright so we'll let my bride go ahead and share with you a closing point on just the mother and some things that God wants us to understand there and then we will have ourselves a word of Prayer and close out for the evening ok mother queen of the household that position often not valued as it should be and so again when we're looking at the spirit of prophecy in the position and the role of the mother we are in charge of molding and shaping the characters of our children to a large degree even though the father is there and he's helping the children are with us you know if they're not in school of course if they're home they're typically with with the mothers so it's very important that our connection with Christ is consistent and that we're intelligent on the word that we may teach our children that we may be able to guide our children that is the ideal of course and so in reading Adventists home I'm just gonna read briefly just a couple of things that God says about the mother's position and responsibilities is that women realize the sacredness of her work and in the strength and fear of God take up her life mission let her educate her children for the usefulness in this world and for her home in the better world that's taken from Adventists home page 231 paragraph 1 and the second reading is she has in her power the molding of her children's character that they may be fitted for the higher immortal life an angel could not ask for a higher mission foreign doing this work she's doing service for God let her only realize the high character of her task and it will inspire her with courage let her realize the work the worth of her work and put on the whole armour of God that she may resist temptation to conform to the world standard her work is for time and for eternity finally it says the mother is the queen of the home and the children on her subjects she is to rule her household wisely in the dill in the dignity of her motherhood her influence in the home is to be paramount her word law if she is a Christian under God's control she will command the respect of her children that's just a little reading I mean there's so much when I read look through Adventists home I often wonder where we have time to be on the phone and talk and do a lot of things that sometimes mothers do it is very important that we see the work that's before us because our children will testify unfortunately to certain mishaps that may be the things that they didn't get when they were young but as I spoke to you before because I've counseled with a lot of mothers and the majority of mothers that I counsel is very few that I run into where they could say you know this is my child and I did everything I could and there are mothers there for sure but mostly it's a situation where the child goes wayward as we spoke about before and we have to look at where as parents we neglected the areas that we should have given our children but God is a redeeming God it's gonna be harder when they were young their hearts were tender it was easier to mold now as the children develop their characters and they have to certain ways and they get older and then associations and all these things and now these gadgets all these devices that are designed to pull the mind away from Christ if we're not careful and as adults if we have a hard time doing this how much more the children so therefore it's gonna be harder but we could still do it there are people that I know who had their children go wayward but praying and abiding and I've gotten to the place where again I had to look I I can't look at my kids and say you know don't you know you how could we've taught you this and you know it's not like these things weren't done but as you read the standard that God has put for us as mothers and his fathers the standard is very high very very high but what we tell our children all the time I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me that's our that's for us isn't it so if God commands us to do it he's already given us the power to do it it's just that we we have to cooperate with him and then when we cooperate we will see fruit we will I cannot say I cannot say I've done everything God told me to do from the beginning I did everything I can't say that I did some things you know maybe I did most things but I didn't do everything in God what means what he says he's forgiving and you know his arms as always stretched out still you know there was a quote in ministry of healing helping the tempted and when we read that chapter we pretty much I don't know if you've ever read I encourage you to read that chapter it is it changed my life in many ways just to view on how to deal with people who are going through and typically the mindset is when you read it you think of those outside your home but apply these principles in your home your mind will be blown away you will look at things completely different the false of your spouse's or the faults of your the weaknesses the things that your family members go through you'll be a lot more compassionate because the beginning of the chapter it talks about how God in spite of our waywardness our neglect to read his word year after year after year and his arms are still stretched out still you know it just warmed my heart and then as you continue to read it talks about how he is to us we're to be to those because sometimes we lose patience with the one we say that we love we have no you know we lose patience with our children because they're not cooperating but if you understand did I contribute to this problem did I did I contribute to this problem and it's a hard pill to swallow and it's not to say that we should you know allow the rebellion but there's a way if we're so forthright in helping those outside the church that we would persevere and go out into the streets and canvass and deal with embarrassment all these things on behalf of others why can't we do that with those in our own home it just to me it's backwards so we need to ask for God's grace and remembered remind ourselves ask him to remind you of where we were when we needed his patience and his endurance with us year after year as we consistently we you know my husband talks about he was here a few years ago are you in that same place I mean we all can relate to that I can relate to that I can relate to year after year being in that same spot and not growing spiritually and I have to ask myself why you know you could be doing missionary work or working out into the field and not grow it's possible depending on if you're not adhering to the things that you profess it's very easy to get caught up in ministry and just still feel distant from Christ so you know what's the point of professing this life and restricting your life all these things just to be lost it just doesn't make sense so had you know I had to ask myself did I give my you know my children the best example throughout the life as growing up and children I say this from experience and from what I seen they respect you when you come to them with no excuses of your own sins of your own hypocrisy Zoar what have you and you just apologize for the areas they respect that and when you go to Christ and and you seek for strength to do right your you increase the chances double-fold to help them turn around and come back to the Lord amen you really do I've seen it with grown kids they respect it they just want to see consistency this is what they need this is what they asked for and they deserve it and we should give it to them and God can give us the strength to do so so you know looking at the call of the mother and what it entails and the amount of Prayer that needs to be done if not a praying mother where do you get your strength from mm-hmm where do you get your strength from I've tried to do it on my own there things I tried to handle on my own and there's times I was successful but as far as longevity being consistent it just doesn't work it just doesn't work because we have the willpower to do certain things we could say I'm gonna I'm gonna do this and we do it but it doesn't last and that's that's why our efforts our righteousness are truly as filthy rags God is consistent and he'll give us the strength but we we have to stop letting whatever's keeping us from fulfilling that role as a parent to our children whatever stopping us even as late as it is God is eager to save our children more than us so I refuse to believe it's too late as long as the child is alive you keep praying for that child recognize you did wrong don't allow remorse to overtake you as we've seen it steals life horses from you you're gonna get sick and sometimes we have diseases and all these things and you know make your wrongs right confess to God and he'll forgive you but do right and like I said go to the child do not make accessory when I raised my voice or when I hit you or when you saw me slap your mother whatever it was it is I'm sorry I'm just saying these are real issues right you may not apply to some of you but maybe there's one person it applies to and you can't sweep it off under the rug the child remembers they do when you when you talk about these things about eating and drinking and all these things or we shouldn't do this or dress this way and then they see it being done and they don't say anything it's there it's gonna it's it's it's all there and it stays there and they keep record especially if it's consistent and you just don't deal with it it's better for you to acknowledge it and let the child know it's wrong because they're learning oh I guess God is just not that serious you know and so I don't know if any young people can testify to that it's too scared I know my kids would be like Amen because it's true it's the truth they need to see consistency so I just want to encourage mothers not to be and fathers too because you know you carry the same burden for your children and if some of you your children are in the world or what have you I've seen situations where children can come back we have to trust in God's promises but we got to put ourselves in the best situation to receive it we can't keep doing wrong expecting God to fix our errors we have to acknowledge them and turn away from our sins and walk right with the Lord so what I'm gonna do is just share with you very quickly the last steps by no means is this going to again resolve a lot of problems but we've talked a good bit about heart searching we're talking about the resources that we can look to to read and to go over so that God can help us to become the husband the individual the father the wife the mother the individual and I believe the Lord will help us tremendously with this but I want to give some closing points on this number one and this is something where if you're gonna take no stand please take your pen out so you could take some notes the first thing that I would like to recommend is if you need to make confession of sin please do it if you know that there is something where you have erred whether it be towards husband towards wife or towards children or towards parents this is something that you want to do immediately make your wrongs right go before the individual confess and acknowledge your sin wherever it is you went wrong and seek their forgiveness number two right now a lot of God's people are not having devotion we're not having good morning devotions we're not having time the Lord the only way that you will live by the word as you must as Jude says build up your most holy faith and faith only comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God if you are not getting up early in the morning before you start your workday to have a genuine devotion with God I would like to recommend that you do that immediately there are a lot of us that not have a devotion I know it I know it for a fact I mean often when I talk with God's people I say tell me about your devotional life do you know that that's that's one of the weakest areas of our lives like some people right now Canvassers some people out there are you know so-called medical missionaries or true medical missionaries some of us are out there preaching and teaching we're doing a lot but when you ask them how's your communion life how is your communion life a lot of our communion time with God is very weak it's very brittle it's very shallow it's very surface it's not very deep we study subjects more than we study God's character and that's why you know more how to answer questions than solve problems did you hear what I just said a lot of us know how to answer questions but you don't know how to solve problems because it takes power to solve a problem it doesn't take much at all to answer a question and so God is not impressed and I'm certainly not impressed when people just know how to answer a question my thing is is do you have some real problems in your life yes I do how are you going about solving it you see when you read ministry healing page 51 it tells us that Jesus's life on earth was a life of communion with nature and with God and then it says in this life he left for us an example that we might understand the secret to a life of power the communion life of Jesus was the example he left for you and left for me of how we can have power that is what is impressive it is not impressive I want you to listen to me good cuz Mentone Church you all are a bunch of people that hear a lot of present truth I mean you get truth as it is in Jesus and you have it taught here regularly and you go to the websites and go to all the places and a me and you you soak it up but the reality is is some of y'all are still in some of the worst bondage like you literally do not have a solution to your problem some of you are still controlled completely by appetite you have no victory over appetite whatsoever when that belly growls you are a slave to appetite and it's making you sick and you're on your way out to get some disease that's gonna kill you and you know it but you have no power some of you have marriages you know your marriage is tanking you know your children are looking at you like mom and dad this is confusing you're teaching me principles of righteousness but I'm seeing contradictions and hypocrisy mom and dad what's going on here and some and we see it no power some of us are slaves to sex some of us are slaves to media some of we're just slaves well I explained and what God is saying is is that man if I were to ask you where's Jesus what's he doing what Bible verse answers this question what's the truth about the state of the Dead tithe and offering death I mean we have the answers we can answer so many questions but we have very little power to solve our problems and God wants to get you out of that but the only way to do that is you got to have communion you got to spend time with the one who has power to give you power that you can finally overcome and so I would like to recommend have some real devotional time I mean when you get up in the morning get up early enough that you're not rushing once you get up just to the point that you're like okay I'm gonna read but I know in five minutes I got to do this ten minutes I got to do this 15 what once you do that where you're battling so much with the duties of the day it's gonna mess with your devotional time you're not focused anymore your mind split and you're not gonna get the power you need that God wants to offer and so because of that is the reason why I say to you when you get up in the morning get up in enough time that there's no rushing you can spend time totally focused on what you're eating and then whatever you're reading make sure that that thing reveals so much of the character of Christ make sure it makes the character of God so plain to you that your heart's desire is Lord that I might be like you when I read that that's what patriarchs and prophets should do that's what prophets and kings should do that is what desire of Ages most definitely should do that is what accidie apostles and even great controversy should do steps to Christ that's what it should do Christ object lessons that's what it should do thoughts for an amount of blessings pick these books up and study them and every time it gives you a Bible reference stop from the book go to the Bible reference read it because the Spirit of God might say you know that's a good verse just read read in verse and next thing you know the Lord will direct you to something else that world of bliss in your study of the Word of God and you can truly say I have beheld the character of the one whom I love so my second recommendation is spend some time in mana early morning mana this will help you to overcome some of these challenges in our characters that manifests itself in our marriages and in our being fathers and mothers thirdly experiment religion hello I use this term a lot experimental religion the third instruction is experiment religion what does that mean that means that whatever you read trust in the strength of God to put it in practice for the day it's called experimental religion if you read do not talk negative I have a quotation on my phone that every time I lift my phone up and it does that little wakeup thing it says if you talk unbelief you will have unbelief but if you talk faith you will have faith according to the seed sown so shall be the harvest every time I pick my phone up and it wakes up that's exactly what it reads to me and it says that I love infusing my mind with the word of God I can't get enough of it and so when I read that if you talk unbelief you will have unbelief if you talk faith you will have faith according to the seed sown soul shall be the harvest so immediately I know today by the grace of God I will not talk a word of unbelief that's called experimental religion once you read it lord help me to put it into practice so today by God's grace I will not talk a single word of unbelief just today just today it's called experimental religion so that's step number three step number three is experiment what you read if you read something that God shows you this is what you must be this is what you must do take the time to experiment with it for the day trusting in God's strength to get it done number four have a talk with one another in that talk that you have with one another this is again husband and wife and so on again we got to get out of the spirit of tolerating we must get into the spirit of communion we have to get to a point that we can come now let us reason together Isaiah 1 in verse 18 have a talk with each other about how the Word of God can provide the solutions to your challenges I did not say talk to each other about your problems that's not what I said please don't do that because if you do that you're gonna end up in an argument you're gonna end up an argument cuz you're gonna be like you know I have this problem - yeah well I got this problem - yeah but the reason you got that problem is because you won't listen what do you mean I won't listen what are you talking about the next thing you know you're gonna go in it's like oh you're gonna go right into it so what I'm not suggesting is that you just start talking about your problems because 99% of the time it's gonna turn into an argument what I would like to recommend is that what you do is you talk with each other about how can we let the word of God become the solution to our challenges what it allows you to do is still address your issues but the focus is let's look to the Bible to see how God can help us okay so that step number four is talk to each other looking to the Word of God of how it can provide a solution to the challenges that you're facing step number five pray for each other pray for each other take some time before your husband leaves before your wife leaves or whatever hey hold on I want to pray for you I want to pray for you and one of the things that I like is when you pray scripture it is a beautiful thing when you can pray Scripture father you've said that you're able to keep us from falling and to present us faultless before the presence of your glory I'm asking you to do this for my husband today that as he goes outside and faces various temptations and trials that he will remember that you have enough power to keep him from falling and you can present him faultless you praying the Word of God you just you're asking God to just do what he promised to do we're told an inspiration that God loves it when we come to him and bring our past victories to ask for him fresh new victories Lord because you did this for me in the past I'm asking for even double portion that you might do this for me today you read that in ministry healing page 511 all right beautiful things so you could pray for each other and my recommendation is pray the Word of God you know pray those promises Lord you promise to do this I'm asking you to do that for my wife today you know you get ready to leave the home Lord you promised that you renew our strength I'm asking you to renew my bride strength today then those moments when she feels a little weak and a little tired working with the children that she will receive a double portion of strength a burst of energy because you promised they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength so fulfill your promise on behalf of my bride from my side you will find that as you pray the Word of God it will give strength to those prayers your prayers encourage you and it builds you up now he goes point number six plan a date why is it that the women are always the ones that say Amen blow your bride's mind take her somewhere just do something special week into the fire go out somewhere my wife and I have a covenant we go on a date at least once a month and these once a month I'm taking her somewhere and it's a little easier to do granted you know I'm saying that our children are older now so like look I'm out I'll see y'all tomorrow or whatever and we can do that praise the Lord we could do that now but even before we could do it even before they could run the home all by themselves we definitely had our little nucleus of people that we trusted that could go ahead and stay with our children our children stay with them and we go out somewhere but go out sometimes your life is filled with so much duty that you hardly have times of delight and so it is that yes you know it's alright go ahead and take care of your business do what you got to do but this should be some point I'm just recommending once a month once a month just go somewhere and I'm not saying you got to spend all this money or any of that stuff because I don't have the money to do all of that and you probably don't either but what you can do is just go out somewhere you might just go to a park that's free that you can just sit down with your husband with your wife and look into each other's eyes my wife came with me to the lovely island of Bermuda I had to get a tooth extraction and my world-class famous dentist lives in Bermuda and so I had to go there and I had to have an extraction done now when I had an extraction done at the bottom of my tooth I had that done right in the middle of an evangelism series had to do it it was killing me but the Lord was gracious that I had one day off and that's all I needed and by time I was up I looked a little bit like a chipmunk but I was preaching the word so I knew how I was like oh man I was really you know soaring all of that so my wife came with me you know to kind of like help me out in the event I I'm just going through too much pain or whatever she could do some stuff for me so when my wife was with me they took the 2000 the top of my mouth boy that was great because it's a lot less pain there's less nerves up there than there were down here so when the doctor did it she took that tooth out and I was like hey you know I feel pretty good so my wife and I was there for like five days cuz you know I had to give myself some time for healing before I flew again so we just had like these next three or four days that we had nothing to do so I was like hey my wife and I together my children were taken care of I said let's go to the beach so we found a beach that was private nobody there and you know my wife and I did and enjoyed every second of it we sat down at a beach and we watched the water go and we watch that happen for four hours and all we did was sit down holding each other's hands getting darker and just watch that water and I was like isn't that beautiful and she was like lovely and we just soaked up every second of just time with each other time with each other my wife is loving what we're doing right now she I'm seriously she's like I wish we could stay for a few more days you know I was like girl we gotta go back you know we we got things we got to do but you know it's just we love lavishing love on each other remember that love is not effectual unless it has an object to lavish itself upon and so we just lavish that love on each other spending time you got to do it so that's really point number six is try to just figure out what can't we do it was somewhere we can go and just get time to each other and I'd like to recommend you do that with your children do that with your children as well if you're not doing it family please make sure you are having morning and evening worship do you know that there are some of us right now with all this present truth teaching and some of us are not having morning and evening worship it's almost a shame to even say it but it's the truth some of us have gotten so busy that we don't even have morning and evening worship how in the world are you gonna go through the final crisis and you're not even having morning and evening worship that's not gonna work family so number seven please make sure that you're having morning and evening worship every day in your home non-negotiable if you're in the car and you know you're going somewhere and you know we're gonna cross over into worship time on our way home then what you do is you say everybody make sure you bring your books with you if you're going through certain book make sure you bring your Bible with you go prepared if you know there's a chance we can get stuck in traffic or something and we probably will not get home on time to have worship then what you do is you bring your stuff with you and you have worship in the car in other words worship is a non-negotiable you do not sacrifice family worship for nothing like literally for nothing family nothing amen very very serious do not neglect family worship number eight please create righteous barriers create righteous barriers you know what your triggers are don't you know what your triggers are don't you know it makes you mad you know what irritates you don't you you know what bothers you so what you need to do is create the appropriate barriers this is 2nd Corinthians 7 in verse 9 through 11 especially verse 11 when it talks about repentance and it says true repentance it says what carefulness it wrought in you you got to be more careful if you know every time I pass down a certain Road I smell the Dunkin Donuts just can't help it gotta pull in I gotta get that special doughnut I know it's gonna make me sick I know it's gonna contribute negativity and I know it's gonna make my children more hard-hearted when I start talking about principles of health because they're gonna be like health yeah right you're not taking the Word of God seriously neither will I the only difference between you and I is you're an undercover hypocrite I'll be an open one so this is this is literally what our young generations are going through right now so again know your triggers if you know every time I talked to my wife about lateness she gets upset I respond back usually says something insulting and the next thing you know I respond back and next thing you know we are in for war then set up a righteous barrier instead of talking about how late she is all the time then why don't you go ahead and talk about how much you appreciate her efforts to try to be on time yes Oh 2nd Corinthians 7 9 through 11 so again you know the key is try to create righteous barriers try to create barriers that will protect you from falling into the traps that typically get you into those arguments and that fussing in that fighting alright try to you know and consider that seriously it works it works sometimes you got to create some barriers all right it's okay the Word of God believes in it the Bible says in Galatians 6 and verse 1 it says you know dear brother when you find one of your brothers in a fault it says ye which are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of meekness remembering or considering thyself lest thou also be tempted you know God says I want you to consider yourself to don't do things where you forget how you once were in their situation and I had to deliver you well be that to them and also consider yourself don't set yourself up for temptation don't try to be Superman and superwoman and put yourself into it in places and positions where you know it's gonna tempt you and lead you to fall so if you know you're weak in something watch out for it set up the barriers set up righteous barriers protect yourself guard yourself be careful the bottom line is is that as we put these simple steps together it's just going to help us as you begin to study out how is it that God can turn our homes around I want you to really remember those five principles we cover today about how our homes our marriages are called to reflect the image of God I really want to encourage you study them like really study each one study each one and I'll just simply close with this I really joy finding new ways to put a smile on my Brides face I enjoy it clearly I mean I enjoy it it's it's it's like a treasure hunt you know I'm saying it's like sometimes you just figure out like yeah she said this she said that I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna do that I'm not gonna tell her anything I'm gonna surprise her you know you just start you start thinking about it you know ways that you can just let her know you are on my mind and you just constantly do that and what I have found is that the more that you do these type of things the benefits out of this world the Lord will bless you the Lord will bless you you have a happy marriage you have a very happy marriage and it's something nice to see one of the things my children love to see is when I'm chasing mother around the house they still have to see it to date you know any time and I'm just like you know what Alex and if she's just like Dwayne I'm like all right that's it they see us running and we're literally running around and I'm trying to grab her and chase her and everything and the children literally it's like it's amazing they're 18 19 20 whatever but they're like hey mom I chase each other you know it's like they immediately become like little kids all over again mama daddy chasing each other and then you know and we all just chase each other and then of course my son Caleb is my deliverer so I am super ticklish so if my mother wants to get me if my wife wants to get me she pushed me down the ground and she starts tickling me I'm like stop stop and then all I got to do say Caleb and when I call Caleb Caleb runs in and then he grabs on mommy and pulls her off of me and then he starts to block her away and I'm like thank you son and then I start walking and then Alex it's like I'm gonna get you in my son's like nope I'm not gonna let you get that you know and it's like next thing you know Jada comes in and then alex says Jada get Caleb off of me and then Jada jumps on Caleb and puts him in a headlock and then pulls him aside and I mean and it before you know we're just we're just having a blast as a family and what God has helped my wife and I see is that there are four things that God raised up the family to do together in the book education page 250 it says it was God's plan for the family to be associated in work in study in worship and then the last thing in recreation it was God's plan that the family would be associated in work in study in worship and in recreation God says you want a happy home you want a home that reflects a little bit of heaven on earth God says you make sure that as practical and possible as you can make sure that your home is a place where you as a family do four things together work study worship and have recreation and God says you do these things remember the instructions of God are simple you do these things you remember what jesus said if you know these things happy are ye if you do them my hope and my prayer is that you will do the things that we've studied this weekend James 1:22 but be doers of the word and not hearers only deceiving your own selves and so by God's grace I hope that we all receive some gems throughout our time together it's just been one day one day but we covered a lot we've covered a lot we covered some good things my hope and my prayer I was telling brother and sister Templeton I said you know I said we need to do something longer we need to have like workshop like we could really go into this you know there there's people out there that the Lord has given marvelous ministries to that are really about the family we are just one family but there's many others out there that the Lord is anointed and they are doing great work you keep us in prayer and I really mean that we solicit your prayers our heart's desire is we want to spend the remaining days of our lives however long god gives us that by his grace that we can truly be an instrument in his hands to touch as many lives as possible to prepare people to meet their God and God gave me a little token yesterday and I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you about it yesterday was my checkup I had a valve that was regurgitating very badly and then they found out there was another valve that was regurgitating my mitral and my aortic and as you know the story of which it was you your prayers your contributions you invested in me and I am eternally grateful and I remember that when I came out of that surgery they said well mr. lemon you have about 10 to 20 years before we'll have to do this probably again and I said what's the difference between 10 and 20 that's a big gap they said lifestyle I said well based on my lifestyle I said maybe I'll be more on the twenty side I hope they say yep we hope so too so year one went by and I had to get my echo and they said that my mitral valve was having a mild regurgitation that's okay most of you in this room probably have a mild regurgitation in other words it's very common for people to have that they said my aortic valve however was mild to moderate that was a little concerning I was like man mild to moderate shouldn't be mild to moderate and they did the great majority of the work on my mitral valve and then they said my left ventricle was normal but they said but it was borderline dilated you don't want your left ventricle to be dilated and they stated that and you know said it was at five point eight centimeters something like that but they said all in all you're doing pretty good so you know what I did I went on a program I studied studied studied studied studied prayed prayed prayed research research research I've discovered that very few of our medical missionary Institute's have a program for valvular disease which was a little disappointing nevertheless I put together a program and I did it for one year in two months this Friday marked one year in two months it was time to get a check-up to see how my heart was doing and I went to the doctor and I got everything looked at and when they looked at it my hope my prayer to God was I said Lord you know I don't know what your plan is for my life I said I feel fantastic because I really do like I mean I feel great and and that I'm very thankful for and so I said Lord you know I don't know what your plan is for my life I know I feel great but I may not be doing great and it could be that regurgitation could come back it could probably get worse because you know if if I went from a mile to a mile to moderate in such a short period of time with my aortic valve and the aortic valve you don't want to play with you know if the doctor says like mr. lemon you're at moderate now you know that that can be a problem so when the doctor checked it out yesterday he looked and my hope was the program that I was on would start toning up the valve and make everything perform better because of Christ's object lessons 333 I take it very seriously bringing every organ of the body to perfection so I believe in that quote so I said Lord I want to cooperate with your laws of health that I can help in bringing every organ of the body to perfection so I said how is how am i doing the doctor said you're doing really good and I said okay now let's be specific I said my mitral valve was mild I said where is it now he said still mild says it's still mild it's doing just fine and I was like okay I said my aortic valve was mild-to-moderate and once your valves typically go mild-to-moderate usually the next step either it'll still be mild to moderate or the next step will be moderate and then it's just to progress what it does not do is it does not go backwards it doesn't go from mild to moderate to mild you understand that so when I asked him I said how's my aortic valve doing he was like it's mild I said what do you mean by that I said no no I said here let me show you and I gave him my previous echo he looked on my previous echo he said oh he says your echo right here shows very clearly that it was mild to moderate and I said what is it now he said oh it's mild he said it's not even mild to moderate and I was just like he's God he said definitely mild no moderate not even mild to moderate I said all right I said my left ventricle was 5.8 he said not any more he said is now down to 5.1 my left ventricle is going backwards it's getting better I've taken on a serious heart formula mixture that uh I'm going to be posting it on the youtube channel and I'm gonna be spreading it like wildfire to all of our Institute's because none of them have a valvular disease program and now I want it to be the the experimental person I wanted to try it and so I've been doing everything from proteolytic enzymes to this this and this studying it out and so on and my heart is literally going in Reverse and so my heart is at a functional state like pretty much any and everybody else and when I thought about that I thought about you this is your return on investment is that my life has never been more dedicated my mind has never been so clear to the gospel I have never understood so clearly what God wants done in these final moments of Earth's history to pair us to meet our God and so I am truly I can't stop saying thank you I thank God for you for all of the parts that you have played your counsel your instructions your financial giving your prayers your words of encouragement that wonderful Sabbath before my surgery man I will never forget mental I will never forget you all I mean you have truly been written on my heart and so I honestly mean it when I say I love you and I really thank God for you and I just want to encourage you family let us be faithful we are almost home we are very much heaven bound let us be faithful Satan is gonna release all of his attacks but greater is He that is in us then he that is in this world we all stand together for closing word of Prayer we'll consider ourselves dismissed our loving father we thank you for another Sabbath day that has now gone into eternity we praise your God for your wonderful mercy towards us and Lord we thank you that you've given us some gems of how we can truly experience heaven on earth as we cooperate with me I pray for every individual whether they're single married widowed divorced I pray that you might do something special for each of us and lord I pray that as we pick up these books and go through them again may you show us fresh revelations of your will may you show us power that we can access that can give us victories in the areas we need it most most importantly Lord may you be may you be glorified and show us how our homes can reflect the image of God please continue to abide with us until the next time we are privileged to meet and if it is not on this earth as it is in its present condition may it be truly in the earth made new is our prayer we ask in Jesus name Amen I want to let you know it's been an absolute pleasure serving you all I want to thank God for each and every one of you when you go outside you're just gonna see tool tools out there one in DVD form another one in book form please think about yourselves and what you may need also think about others who might benefit from it it is a support to the ministry we would greatly appreciate it so please take a look and until the next time we meet remember Lord willing we'll be back in June and will be holding a one-month gospel medical missionary evangelistic training the location is going to be the central Filipino seventh-day Adventist Church we're going to be opening registration for that very soon and look for it coming on Facebook and all the other things we'll be making the various announcement we'll send it out to brother Rodney and the eldership here so people can know about it if you desire to come to the training it's gonna be very exhaustive and the Lord's gonna bless otherwise keep us in prayer family and we look forward to seeing you the next time god bless you all maranatha

Channel: Mentone Seventh-Day Adventist Church

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Length: 126min 43sec (7603 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 16 2019