‘Making Space With Hoda Kotb’: Rosie Perez

foreign [Music] from her start in Spike Lee's do the right thing which by the way Rosie says came to her by way of a run-in was Spike Lee in a club to her most recent role in your honor opposite Brian Cranston and countless Rose in between Rosie Perez is Hollywood gold but long before the bright lights and cameras the storyline of Rosie's life was much different the scene was Brooklyn and a young Rosie Perez was cast in a role she never asked for born to a mom who suffered from mental illness Rosie's childhood memories are fraught with stories of abuse and fear but little Rosie resisted and through it all Rosie harnessed a fighting Spirit one she holds to this day if you were to describe the way you were raised in a couple of lines were you self-raised I think there was a percentage of that yes definitely I was also raised by my aunt by the nuns in the convent that I was in by System Margaret Francis as a young adult by my father but a lot of it it was me taking care of me I adopted two children and I have a now six-year-old and a three-year-old and I was imagining when I was reading more about your story I was imagining my three-year-old someone taking my three-year-old from the home and putting my three-year-old in the care of nuns at a Convent or just like you were in your life and the three-year-old feeling like where Are My People where's my love where is everything I had before do you do you have strong memories of just being three or four I don't know when kids start remembering things but and what you felt like I have vivid memories unfortunately I do remember being in the home I remember the bed they put me in I remember all of that I remember it all and I remember the counselors that were wonderful there at the convent all the songs that they would teach me and the dancing they would teach me I remember being taught tap dance by the nuns which is hilarious to see and untapping in a habit they taught me softball and baseball there was a new program and back then in the 70s of the group home and there were group homes for juvenile delinquents and then there were group homes for kids who were not and they thought had the ability to make it in the world okay you know because a lot of the kids would Age out in the system meaning they had no one to rescue them knowing to take them out from that place so once you were 18 that was it they said bye so they had that program the Catholic Church um it was their group home it wasn't a state-run a group home and within that program is where I met Sister Margaret Francis who really changed my life and they were preparing us to be equipped to live in society on our own the Sister Margaret Francis what how did she change you because she challenged me ah she challenged me she was the first one who would tell me I remember she said you know what you're a stubborn little thing and I said well yes I am terrible and she goes you need to find a way to use that for your own benefit oh because uh it's not working for me and it's not working for anyone else and it's not working for you so you need to learn how to use your stubbornness and turn it into a positive and I was like what how do yeah how do you do that you know and I remember she goes figure it out and I was like huh and she would drop little hints like you do really well in school right because you're so competitive and I go what no I'm not yes you are that's why you like sports you know and and she goes and you don't give up on on equations that's very good yeah you're really stubborn in that good way and I started to slowly figure it out my God that's brilliant it's brilliant and she did see into you she saw it into me she would also say that how complicated I was she said you're so well mannered and you're so kind and you're so sweet and anyone can make you cry at the drop of a of a hat but at the same time your fists are ready huh and she goes put your fist down what you got to you don't need to use your fists and I just was like yes I do she's about to punch me in my face you're not one of the girls yeah and she says figure it out my gosh she has such wisdom she had such wisdom and it drove some of the girls there in that group home crazy right because I would kill them with my silence and I didn't realize that that was a tool that that was a weapon silence could my silence you know or I just wouldn't engage with you if if like one of the girls would start a verbal argument or fight or whatever and they were trying to entice me and I would just lay back and smile at them and I remember Sister Margaret Francis one day she was walking past the room and she was watching and I thought we were all going to get in trouble and she looked at me and she would just winked at you [Laughter] and then I just started to learn those things and when she was leaving the order I remember her sitting me down and because she left and she came back and she goes I need to talk to you I'm like she said listen to me she'd grab me by my hand and she had never put her hands on any of us so I was shocked and she said I want you to put your head down and study because that's your ticket out promise me and I Nodge goes no say it and there was tears straightening down her eyes just because you can make it you can make it and I was I started blubbering and she oh hold up that's so beautiful she was beat red yeah yeah you know I thought she was I did something wrong and everything and I said I promise and she she says take care of yourself and she gave me a hug and she just ran out the door she's did she get to see any of your success in life I don't know because she was much older he's older then yeah um I wish I fantasized that she did yeah or maybe she's still alive you never know but the nuns live like for a really long time just clean living you know and um I used to fantasize that one day I will bump into her you know she was right though she was right yeah she was right you know what's interesting about what you're saying right now often when you go through trauma you don't remember there was any good you remember the trauma because the trauma had to be debilitating I mean how did that trauma not break a child a lot of the children there were broken I know a few of them still I'm still in contact with them I would say two of them are like me we're we're like survivors we don't like to call ourselves victims and then some of the rest of the girls they're in severely bad shape where it's hard for them to even function on a daily and and it's all because of what they endured so it's weird like that it was very complicated for me when I got out of the system I had survivor's guilt you know why why did I get out why am I kind of okay why am I successful and they're not and I remember this one person told me well you know what everyone's not that strong and that makes a lot of sense to me because I think that the reason why I made it and this other woman made it is that we had a certain strength within our character that was just there you know what I mean and I can't explain it because you could say oh well for me in my case my aunt gave me so much love and told me I was special every day but she her mother was horrible to her to her horrible and like she's very successful and she's very together so you can't say oh well you made it because you had love in your life I did better because I had love in my life but she did not and she did not and she succeeded so it's very this is interesting I find the character of a little girl and I'm trying to picture you now in that way how that doesn't break a person how do you still stay feisty sometimes with enough horrible pressure from grown-ups that can be eliminated yeah but not in you you just kept fighting back I just felt like I was just doing time and I also knew that my aunt was fighting for me to get out yeah and then my father I found out was also fighting for me to get out so I kind of had this thing I'm not staying here you know like this is temporary yeah go on and go on I still had in my mind I'm gonna get out why did your mom want you in there in the first place I don't even understand that piece I don't either she says because I was a love child but she put her other children there oh and then she changed the story and said oh I couldn't take care of you guys financially but she took some of her children back and left me you know and so it just doesn't make sense and her severe mental illness is the only logical explanation that I can have is that she was paranoid schizophrenic so there's things that are beyond my comprehension you know and so it's it's like that has forgiveness come for your mom I'm still working on it I used to lie and say yes I forgave her and stuff like that because I didn't want people to judge me you know but it came when she was passing the beginning of forgiveness because all of a sudden I I looked at this woman I said my God she had a horribly sad life you know and as an adult you have a different perspective and I was able to have a level of empathy for her and and that shocked me that like really shocked me I didn't expect that and I think that I resisted forgiving her because everyone told me well you have to forgive your mother she's your mother and you have to love her because she's your mother and like this woman is horrible yeah I was like what do you mean so I would the rebellion in me that is so a part of Who I Am with just subconsciously say no I don't have to do anything I don't have to do anything and when I went and started being under the care of Dr Catherine fideli she was the first person to go you you don't have to forgive her wow she was an abuser wow and I went what I said could can I record you saying that so I could play it somebody so you did not think that I did not think I had I did not think that I had the right so as you emerged and you said you were strong when you left that Convent how did you come upon the confidence that started your career on this path I think it was my rebellion and my stubbornness and I think it's just the DNA on my father's side yeah he's got that he's oh he had that in space he was so confident and in my family like if you were to meet my sister Carmen you're like you guys are related my brother the same thing and it's like you tell any of us we can't do anything we go what well this makes perfect sense because you met Spike Lee back in the very beginning back in time and you hadn't had an acting role but you got into a little argument with him because you are headstrong and no one's going to tell you no and it was from that argument ended up the birth really of your career from a fight yes how did that happen oh my goodness he was having a butt contest I found it appalling but yeah and producer of the event had invited all the girls from Soul Train to come down because they wanted you know us to like fill up the club and he was promoting school days so the song was doing the butt I was doing so that was his thing so I got up on a speaker and I was like don't let him is this what you want and I was trying to mock it and oh like women you don't have to you don't do this and so he uh he came with uh bodyguards and told me to get down and and I was like oh my God I thought I was going to get thrown out you know and all that bravado kind of went away and when he said tonight is paid I went well you wish and that's when the fight started you know first I was almost on the verge of tears yeah you know and I was about to say I'm sorry yeah you were like what are the other which one is that and he you know I didn't understand what he had meant he meant like we was supposed to meet because you're supposed to be in a movie with me I didn't understand what he meant and because I had men hitting on me all the time yeah I was sick of it you know so so that's where I thought he was coming from and yes I was born out of that your career has been on this crazy trajectory I mean you're one of those people who can walk down the streets and everybody knows you and you also have such a great body of work did people or how often I should say did people try to change you did they try to form you mold you oh yes and would you how did you did you go with it or resist I resisted of course of course you did you know and it hurt it hurt bad it was like really hurt because a lot of it came from the Latino community they wanted me to calm down and be quiet and change my accent they were like oh you're putting the accent on and at the time I wasn't you know my accent was very thick and it was just painful even just people who represented me agents telling me to get a nose job I go okay people I get it I got a big nose okay I'm fine with it why aren't you fine with it yeah you know and by the way I think I'm cute you know you know it's just like do all these things and change yourself why why because you could pass and I remember this one age I said pass for what she was you know what I'm talking about I said no I want to hear you say it and she goes excuse me I said yeah excuse you you're fired and I just walked out wow I was I was livid livid oh my God I was so angry and it was Jennifer Gray I told her the story and she goes oh thank God you didn't get a nose job because look what happened to me I mean Jennifer Gray from Dirty Dancing was known for her look her nose and all that and it's true after shoot up the nose job people didn't even they were like who are you yeah which one are you exactly and she said she goes I don't think you should change a thing and the only reason why you should change is for the role if the role dictates that hmm and I said Thank you for telling me that and she was no one's ever told you that I said no and she goes well you should fire your agent then I go I think you know and she got me a better agent she did right there on the spot she pulled her agent wow it takes women a long time to find their voice it sounded like yours came early or you finding your voice or or did it still take you time I look at it as not finding my voice but developing them otherwise yeah you know because I always fought for myself but there were times where I didn't while where I was like okay don't don't say anything you're just gonna make trouble throughout the years it came to me when I had broken my neck during the stunt gone bad and I didn't work for a long time and I remember my friend said to me I think the universe is making you sit down and be quiet because it was hard for me to talk and it was a really good time it was the worst of time but it was the best of times because the thought came to me of positive entitlement you know there is negative entitlement and everyone only uses oh you're so entitled as if it's a negative thing or a derogatory term and then all of a sudden I said wait a minute there were moments in my life where I was positively entitled I demanded a certain way to be treated where did that go yeah the nuns didn't break me yeah my mother didn't break me I will be damned if Hollywood is going to break me and I remember I was laying in bed with a collar on I was going oh my God it was like the universe just just yelled yes and I remember my uh my my sister Carmen was like are you okay there you're taking Too Many Meds no and I was like my goodness my goodness and you know and you think about that that was 2009 yeah when that came to me yeah you know I think on a personal level that's where I would struggle at times to really find my voice more so than in my career you know and a lot of women who I know who are powerful and successful you step into their home life you're like who are you you know it's a different person because a lot of times their significant other whether it be a man or a woman if your light is too bright they want to dim it because they don't have any light of their own you know and so you see that that's what I keep working on and I think that's why there's been in the past I would say eight years of change in my career because you know that positive entitlement that positivity that just started to come over me I just was like I just want to shine bright you know I just want to shine bright and what's wrong with that I totally get that it's like sometimes you Dim your light whether intentionally or not because you don't want to make the person next to you feel bad so you're like well it wasn't that big of a deal or something could happen and you want to share it and then you decide No Maybe not maybe I'll keep this small I was in a relationship and I remembered every time I came home and put the key and I remembered thinking he's going through a difficult time so I can't talk about this day today and so that was the pattern every day so then you kind of make your life and your world smaller and smaller and then suddenly you look around and go who am I then I feel like that that lesson too often comes later it's like you look around and you go you get one right around the Sun that's it that's all we get I find it funny we're 58 year old woman and we're having this conversation and I feel like the best is now do you feel that yes me too it is it is and someone said oh my God you you almost gonna be 60 I thought I can't wait yeah because if this is getting good now oh my God you know what I mean I was like I cannot wait I told my husband I said every single day I'm getting out of my own way every single day and it's getting a little bit better every single day I still have my dog days I don't want anyone listening to this think that you know I've made it through in regards to mental health because you do have those dark days of course but now at this stage I go okay what do I have to do how do I fix this how do I get out of it how do I get out of this yeah because I still want to enjoy the day yes you know I still want to just keeping happy and so I don't need those outside things I just need a walk you need a walk or you need to talk to somebody talk to somebody else that's it or sometimes I need to watch The Little Rascals so I could laugh you know I've not heard that name yes but something everyone thinks they need so much yes you don't you don't you really don't and my husband when he first met me when we were dating he was like I was gonna buy you an expensive bag but I realize you have like all these cheap bags and they're kind of old looking I go I only have nice bags like when I go out for work yeah for work yeah you know or go out to dinner that's it but I said you're gonna say I wear a lot of the same clothes for a very long time yeah yeah I don't need it how do have you kept growing with your spouse so that you are you know because sometimes one stops growing and one keeps growing and you're like hey like catch up with me come on there's a lot happening up here I think just that of talking because I remember one time we had our first two years we never had a fight wow not even an argument wow and then the fight came yeah and I told him I said listen you've never been married I have this is my second time around this is good what we have is good let's not mess it up yeah good don't walk out stay stay here and let's fight for this and he went you sound like an Oprah special and I we both started cracking up and in my mind I told them afterwards I'm like he's he's the one he's the one because the joke you know he's laughing and he's in the middle of it he's in the middle of it and he goes okay all right and I go great so we check in with each other very often yeah how are you how you know are we we complement our relationship all the time yeah you know I love that we're like this now I love that we're like that now what we do for each other though of keeping the excitement I know you're gonna go you're kidding yeah it's to go to boxing matches because that's our love wait you both love boxing we both love boxing so when you go to a match together it's like a hot date night oh yes I dress up I do I have to get the hair done you know the makeup and then after the fight you everyone goes out to dinner you get home like at one o'clock in the morning and you're like oh that was great you know and so we do that that is so funny that is such a great date night is there um a mantra a quote is there something that you live by something that's kind of front and center yeah yeah it's something my aunt said yeah um she suffered from depression and she was strong enough to always tell us when she was depressed and I came home from school one day and she was laying in the bed she came home early from work which was very rare and I said what's wrong is she goes and I said you are and I climbed into bed I said I'm sorry she goes it's okay because tomorrow's another day yeah I love that Rosie I love you thank you for coming to see me oh thank you and I always wanted to tell you this and I was too shy to always tell you these but I think that you're an amazing big person with an amazing big heart and that really was cemented when I heard that you had adopted children because I used to fantasize about being adopted and I kept saying just in case it doesn't work out with my aunt maybe someone couldn't adopt me and for people like you all the people out there that open up their homes to children and offering them a new life God bless you all mothers are in my opinion made yeah my aunt was my mom yeah so and your children are very lucky to have you thank you [Music] hey thanks for watching don't miss the Today show every weekday at 11 A.M Eastern 8 Pacific on our streaming Channel today all day to watch head to today.com all day or click the link right here

Channel: TODAY

Views: 48,515

Keywords: Today, Today Show, Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, Natalie Morales, domestic news, international news, weather, interviews, politics, money, media, entertainment, sports, breaking news, food, health, home, parents, style, concerts, pets, shopping, Hoda Kotb

Id: zHXxNV2PTrg

Length: 25min 13sec (1513 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 11 2023